#mostly because i had to take all my fantasy mods off and then go back and re-cap all of these scenes with the defaults on

[sapphire-weapon]

Resident Evil 4 Remake's story is structured like the plot of a romance novel: master post

A few months ago, I wrote up a very quick and dirty outline/explanation of how Resident Evil 4 Remake's story had been restructured from the original game to follow the story beats of a romance novel. At the time, I didn't think it was all that important to explain it super in-depth, but now that more and more people are looking at it, I figured I should probably explain what I mean with each of these beats lmao

1) Call to Adventure / The Meet Cute

All that a meet-cute actually is is the scene in which the characters that the romance is centered around meet for the first time. The intention is to show an initial spark between the characters -- they meet under bizarre/unexpected circumstances and, at some point, both characters become aware of just how significant it is, even if neither says anything about it.

Leon and Ashley's meet-cute starts with her swinging a candelabra at his head and ends with Leon holding her in his arms out in the rain for a period of time that is absolutely too long to be normal for the circumstance. They lock eyes in this moment, and it's meant to be seen as Significant.

2) Refusal of the Call / Rejection of the Relationship

This is the "I'm just imagining things" reaction to the significance of the meet-cute. Both characters treat the spark as though it never happened -- and, usually, it's because there's other external factors influencing their ability or willingness to follow the trail of that spark and see where it goes. Instead of going "Hey, you're cute, can I get your number?" both characters just jump straight to "Well, anyway --" and go back to living their own independent lives apart from each other.

After they both snap out of that weird trance they were in after Leon caught Ashley out the window of the church, he goes right back to treating her like a mission objective, and she just has absolutely no idea what to make of him at all. Ashley spends the next few sections of gameplay in shock and disbelief with lines like "Seriously, this cannot be happening." and "I just wanna go home..." Leon ignores all of her complaints, keeps her moving even when she asks for a break, and doesn't really speak much to her at all other than to bark orders at her.

3) Acceptance of the Quest / Giving the relationship a chance

Something Happens that forces both characters back into each other's lives and/or personal attention, and they both find that they do Like each other, actually -- even if that feeling of "like" isn't anything super significant. It could be something as simple as realizing that they enjoy the other's company and wanting to see/talk to the other more often.

This arguably starts when Leon and Ashley first run into the cabin and Leon puts a comforting hand on her back that he absolutely did did not have to put there -- but it's definitely in full swing after the cabin sequence is over. Personally, I would say that it's the revelation about Ashley having a plaga in her that's the Something that Happens between them. The whole mission starts to become a whole lot more personal, because now it's not just about surviving and escaping -- now it's about making sure that Ashley stays Ashley.

She starts to open up to him more, and he suddenly becomes much warmer towards her, as well. He's quick to reassure her ("I won't let that happen. I promise.") and not only responds to her when she talks, but also begins talking to her unprompted as well.

This is also the first time Leon ever tries hitting on Ashley with the "Seems this isn't your first time running from creeps" line, and it fails spectacularly.

4) Trials and Temptations / Three Dates

This one is probably the one that needed the most explaining LMAO I shouldn't have let this one go. The "three dates" don't have to/usually aren't meant to be actual, literal dates in romance novels. They're just three significant events that happen between the couple that builds and then reinforces their bond. (It also doesn't necessarily have to be three -- some stories only do two, some do five, etc. The point is that Things Are Happening that strengthen the relationship.)

That is why I said that their three "dates" are:

1) Ashley busting the window open after the Mendez boss fight, helping brush the embers off of Leon, and helping to pull him to his feet. This is the first time the two of them actually smile at each other and the first time they start to act as a team.

2) Salazar's introduction ("The girl's just fine. With me."). Leon wants so badly to be that cool guy in an 80s movie who shows up out of nowhere and puts his arm around a beautiful girl and looks at some dickhead harassing her and goes "This guy giving you a hard time, babe?" This is the closest he's ever gotten to and will ever get to being that in his life. He's not cool enough to ever actually be that guy for real.

3) The road to the Water Hall (Leon jumping across the chandeliers + this is the first time the "knight and the princess" allegory is stated) (You could also include the Garrador here, because if you take Ashley down there after the fact, there's special dialogue that happens that's... God, Leon sucks at this whole flirting thing. He just sucks, dude.)

5) Midpoint Crisis / I-need-you-but-can’t-have-you

Everything is going so well... until it isn't anymore. The three dates have given the couple a glimpse of how special and important this relationship could be, which is great -- until it becomes a problem. One of the characters gets freaked out by the intensity of the relationship and pulls back out of fear, because there's something else happening in their life that's bigger than either character and more important to be addressed.

In Leon and Ashley's case, it's Ashley's plaga. Saddler takes control of her briefly and gets a hold of Leon's knife, stabs him, and then threatens to cut her own throat. When his hold over her breaks, she's terrified. She needs Leon now more than ever because of this, but she's more afraid of hurting him than losing herself, so she runs away from him in tears.

6) The Road Back / Pulling Back Together

Basically, the plot forces the couple back together, and -- due to the raw, open vulnerability caused by the Midpoint Crisis -- their bond is stronger than ever. The feelings change from "yeah, I like them" to "I want them." Real intimacy starts to form and build here, because the interest in and attraction to each other is allowed by both characters to be acknowledged. This is usually where the sexual tension starts to really kick into high gear, and the audience is just waiting for that moment when it all breaks open.

This starts with the pep talk that Leon gives Ashley when he finds her again -- which is romantically framed and coded with its imagery and cinematography. It continues through the entire Grand Hall segment, which includes the moment in the game in which Leon is at his boldest in terms of expressing his attraction to her. This is the point in the game in which their relationship is at its most playful. They tease each other and flirt and pass compliments back and forth -- and, for a while, it feels like the two of them are unstoppable and able to take on the world together.

7) The Fall

"The fall" is the shortened version of "The moment they actually fall in love." It's the "oh god, I think I love them" moment. The two characters do not necessarily have to admit to each other that they've experienced "the fall" -- and usually, at least one of them doesn't. But they both experience that moment where it hits them.

We see Ashley "fall" at the start of her gameplay segment, where she takes Leon's earlier words to heart and draws strength from them. ("I won't run. Wait for me, Leon.") He's inspired her to strive to be more than she is, and she embraces the way that he makes her feel, in that moment.

We see Leon "fall" as soon as he catches the key that she tosses down to him. He looks up at her with stars in his eyes and offers to catch her if she jumps down. An interesting detail to note is that this is the first and one of the only times in RE4make that Nick Apostolides reverts to using the tone/voice that he used for Leon in RE2make. It's soft and sweet and gentle as he makes her an offer that has no reason to be made, just for the sake of getting to hold her in his arms again.

And, in order to drive home the point, this all happens during a scene that was framed, shot, and directed to mirror/mimic the balcony scene in Romeo & Juliet.

8) Dark moment / The Break Up

Once again, Something Happens and comes between them -- and this one is way, way worse than the Midpoint Crisis. This isn't "I'm scared to be with you" -- it's "I can't be with you." Hope for the relationship is completely lost, and both characters become overwhelmed in their individual despair.

Verdugo breaks them up physically -- not once, but twice. And that second time involves Leon being forced to watch Ashley endure Salazar's weird "ritual" and be unable to stop it or do anything to help her. He just has to sit with that failure and suffer through it until he's literally thrown away and discarded while Ashley screams his name.

When Leon finally finds Ashley again, we see him confront the one moment in the game when he honestly, truly loses hope. He sits down on the floor at Ashley's bedside, and there's nothing more that he can do than wait for her to wake up. Some part of him has already become convinced that they won't make it out of there alive -- not both of them, at least. Not together. And he's ready to commit suicide as a contingency plan.

9) The Sacrifice

This is the "do or die" moment for the relationship in a romance novel. This is the moment where the decision is made to confront not just the external force keeping them apart, but also the internal flaws that are feeding into that avoidant urge. The couple decides that their desire to be together is stronger and more important than whatever fear or force is holding them back, and though it's terrifying to do it, they stand up for the relationship in the face of opposition.

In RE4make, we see this play out through the sequence in which Leon carries Ashley to Luis's lab and how the two of them, against all physical and mental odds, manage to remove each other's plagas. This is especially emotionally significant for Leon, who says the words out loud: "This time, it has to be different..." He's openly acknowledging that his trauma from Raccoon City is what made him so ready to pull the trigger on himself back in that holding cell. Here, now, he puts his foot down, confronts that trauma, and says "No. I have to beat this."

And he does, even at great physical cost to himself. But the sacrifice was worth it, because it was for her.

10) Declaration

In a very literal sense, it's the declaration of love. It's an outward, spoken confirmation of the bond they share, now that the trial from the Sacrifice has been overcome. Traditionally in romance novels, this happens with the actual words "I love you."

But RE4make isn't a traditional romance novel, and Capcom has an entire fanbase of angry nerds who take fictional relationships too seriously to navigate through. So, instead of an explicit "I love you" what we got instead was an explicit verbal confirmation of their bonded status as a team.

"Hey... We're a team, right?"

"Keep this up? I'll be out of a job."

11) The HEA

"HEA" stands for "Happily ever after."

While I could (and did) say that Leon and Ashley literally ride off into the sunrise together, that does feel disingenuous. Even though it's true and the imagery is there, they don't really have a happily ever after. Not really. This is the only part that's missing from RE4make.

And that's because RE4make isn't just a romance on its own -- it's a fairy tale set inside of a story that's self-aware and knows that fairy tales aren't real. And so both Leon and Ashley wake up from this shared dream of a romance they've been having, as reluctantly as they do, because it's time for them to come back to reality.

Fairy tales aren't real. Romance novels aren't real.

Their feelings are real. But life doesn't work that way. Not for them.

They may not have a happily ever after, but they do have this moment to be together -- and for them, it's enough.

Because it has to be.

[pudding-parade]

I guess we can consider this something of a mini world overview, which is something I want to get back into doing one of these days.

This is Qornenthus, an alien world by @risastorm. So far as I can tell, it's only available on their Exchange account, not on their Tumblr blog, for whatever reason. It's a world that I've had on my radar for a long time, wanting to create an alien society on it. So, I've decided to have a stab at it, to create a homeworld for these guys, whom I'm considering to be sort of mostly-post-technology. Not in a disastrous/apocalyptic way but rather as a society that mutually agreed to screw it all and "return to monke" -- Or in their case, "return to archosaur-ish" -- while still retaining some technology and such.

Anyway, I haven't really done any kind of "technical" building in Sims games since my early, pre-sharing-on-the-internet days of playing TS2 back in the mid-aughts, mostly because I generally don't enjoy playing the resulting kind of lots. They tend to be more complex and multi-level than I like to play. But for some reason, I've been itching to do some more "technical" building, and want to build something here. It will involve large lots spanning peaks, valleys, and bodies of water, with some elevated architecture, maybe some treehouses, so it's going to involve some terraforming, both temporary and permanent, if I can get it to work like I want at all. So before I tear things up, I thought I'd try out some lighting mods and take some "before" pics, with no Reshade or any image editing.

The lighting I landed on is Brntwaffles's Dystopian lighting, which is what's shown in the pictures on this post, though I edited the mod to make the moon unnecessarily enormous. It has the "feel" I want for these aliens and, as a bonus, it makes the water look suitably swampy, though I'll be adding fog emitters and more plants to make it more so. Then I'll need a suitable rainy/stormy alien Tempest preset. Oh! I should also mention that I have defaults for the game's "fantasy" trees, to make them a bit less fantasy-looking. For some reason, it lops off the heads of the mushroom trees; I can't remember if that's what it's supposed to do. LOL

Anyway, here are some more pictures because I took a lot of them at various times of day and in various conditions…

I'm calling this an "overview," but really there's not a lot to say about the world. It's extremely cool-looking, if you like alien-swamp sorts of environments, as you can see in the pics. But, it has no roads, no lots, and no flat building areas at all, anywhere, so if you want to use it, you have to place lots in Edit Town. Lots will place just about anywhere and, as far I saw, sims can route pretty much everywhere, too. Once you get lots placed, you'll need to do some more technical building for yourself because downloaded pre-built lots aren't going to fly here.

The world does have lots of spawners, especially insect and rock ones, except that it has no fish spawners at all, which is kind of funny given the amount of water. It doesn't have spawners from Island Paradise or Into the Future, either, but everything else is there. I'm not really sure what EPs it's going to need, and anything it's going to need is going to be vegetation-related because there's literally nothing else here. I do know that those bamboo trees come with World Adventures, and I'm pretty sure the rainbow eucalyptus trees come with Pets and the banana trees and alocasia come with Island Paradise. So there's that.

And that's about all there is to say, really. The rest, as they say, is silence pictures.

Oh! The one and only thing that I'm not fond of in the world is that it has a lot of rainbow spawners. And by "a lot" I mean a riotously excessive amount.

That's not even all of them. Thankfully, they aren't there all the time.

So yeah! Cool world. I'm looking forward to doing some work on it. If I'm at all successful at doing what I want to do with it, I will, of course, share pics.

[purple-vixen]

Batfamily & Games - Headcanon

A/N: Brace yourselves, this headcanon is HUGE (about 1.5k words). I’ve been playing a lot of games during quarantine and that’s what inspired me to write this. I mostly play on ps4, if you want to add me on psn, my ID is Vixtr0yer_  - Vix

• Ok, hear me out.

• Tim is definitely a JRPG guy.

• Used to play a lot of Final Fantasy back when he was a kid.

• And he still does.

• Tim is a completionist. He does every sidequest, maxes the skill tree and the characters' level, unlocks every weapon and collects EVERY. SINGLE. TROPHY.

• Another thing that he enjoys about JRPGs is analyzing his items, weapons and characters' abilities and stats to build the best strategy during battles, especially if the battles are turn-based.

• Although Final Fantasy holds a special place in his heart, Tim's favorite game is Persona 5.

• He went crazy over that game. After getting Persona 5, Tim locked himself in his room and would spend the entire day (and night, if he's not patrolling) playing Persona 5, only going outside to open the kitchen's fridge and bring a pack of Red Bull to his bedroom.

• After he beat Persona 5 and unlocked every ending, Tim went through an identity crisis.

• But then Persona 5 Royal was released and the cycle started all over again.

• Steph also enjoys RPGs, but she prefers action RPGs. Unlike Tim, Steph pays no mind to the numbers and statuses in items and weapons, she just equips the stuff that gives more damage and beats the crap out of the enemies until they die.

• Depending on the game, Steph can be very competitive, she lost count on the controllers she broke in a fit of rage after dying in Dark Souls and Bloodborne.

• Her favorite game is Skyrim because she loves using the funny mods.

• I have the feeling Cass is a retro-gamer. She doesn't lean to a specific game genre, she enjoys retro games in general.

• But if Cass had to pick a few favorite ones, they would be Earthbound and Kirby's Adventure.

• Cass also builds some AMAZING constructions in Minecraft.

• Barbara likes MOBA and MMO.

• She wouldn't consider herself addicted but she's been playing World of Warcraft since its release.

• If Barbara happens to be in a bad mood and sees some players being assholes, she goes there and hack their accounts.

• She also likes watching esports.

• Screw the Olympics, esports tournaments are her thing.

• Babs makes a big deal about League of Legends World Championship. LoLWC is like the event of the year for her.

• Her ritual is buying a family-size bag of nachos and soda to watch it on her TV every year.

• Barbara and Dick are the type of couple that has a 2 person gaming setup so that they can play together.

• Talking about Dick Grayson.

• He has two types of favorite videogames.

• One being story-driven games. Dick gets all invested in the plot to the point he feels catharsis.

• He cried playing Life is Strange.

• He always tries to get the happy ending and be nice to all the characters.

• If he ends up being accidentally rude or getting an ending he doesn't like, he reloads his save and picks another option or starts the game all over again.

• And don't get me started on his Stardew Valley playthrough.

• But when it comes to The Sims, Dick is a real psycho. He takes the ladder off the pool, locks the sims in a cubicle and stuff, has the extreme violence mod installed.

• After playing God of War, Dick started calling Damian by "Boy" with an extremely deep voice.

• In the beginning Damian shrugged it off but after one week he got fed up and started chasing after Dick with a sword and threatened to cut him to pieces if he called him "Boy" one more time.

• His other type of favorite games are games where he can goof around.

• He causes massive chaos in Goat Simulator and the Goose Game.

• Because of the Goose Game, Dick tried to convince Damian to convince Bruce to buy them a goose.

• It didn't work.

• Back when Jason was Robin, Bruce paid a lot of attention to the age ratings. If Jason asked Bruce to buy him a new game, Bruce would google the title of said game and based on Jason's age and the game's age rating, he would decide to buy it or not.

• "I said we're not buying Ratchet & Clank, Jason." Bruce says as he looks at the ESRB website through the batcomputer.

• "But it's rated 10!" A 13-year-old Jason protests.

• "Do you really think I'm going to allow you owning a game that has 'Quest for Booty' as its subtitle?"

• Still, that didn't stop Jason from playing the games he wanted to.

• Jason would save up money from his allowance and head to the arcade or secretly buy a new game and play it whenever Bruce wasn't at the Manor.

• Jason would mostly play FPS games. His favorite franchise ended up being Doom.

• Jason often trains while listening to the Doom soundtrack.

• Because the Doom soundtrack makes all of us Jason feel things. He also listens to the songs before patrolling because they hype him up to punch people.

• Don't lie to me, I know you feel the same way when you listen to the Doom soundtrack. Everyone does.

• There was that one time Jason ended up in a fist-fight over the last copy of Doom Eternal on the release date.

• Jason managed to get the last copy but ended up getting banned from GameStop.

• Also some guy recorded the GameStop fight and uploaded on Youtube an edit with one of those "When Doom music kicks in" memes that has "The Only Thing They Fear is You" playing in the background.

• The video got over 2 million views.

• Having kids does tire you out. By the time Bruce had Damian, he stopped caring about videogames' age rating and stuff.

• But still, Grand Theft Auto is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN in Wayne Manor.

• One person ends up getting away from this rule.

• Not because he's allowed to play it, he just doesn't care about that rule.

• And that person is… *drum roll*

• Alfred.

• Alfred had beat GTA V twice and he whoops other people's asses on GTA Online.

• Alfred is also an evil mastermind in Among Us. When he gets to be the impostor, Alfred always wins.

• Damian plays a lot of Fortnite.

• But not because he likes Fortnite, he thinks it's too ridiculous for his liking, especially the dances.

• Damian doesn't like playing Fortnite, but he likes playing Fortnite with Jon. It's Jon's favorite game and Jon gets very happy whenever he gets to play it with Damian. Damian, although not being a fan of Fortnite, ends up having fun too.

• Fun fact: When Damian found out Batman, Catwoman and even Joker and Ivy had their Fortnite skins, he got mad because they didn't make a Robin skin. He then started emailing Epic asking for one and saying that Robin deserved his own Fortnite skin.

• But Damian's favorite game turns out to be:

• Animal Crossing New Horizons.

• Because living on a paradise island full of animals is like his dream come true.

• Also Damian's favorite villager is Ozzie.

• He follows the "Can You Pet The Dog?" twitter account.

• The batkids tried to organize a family videogames night. But in literally E-V-E-R-Y family videogames night something wrong happened and at least one person ended up in the med bay.

• Dance Dance Revolution night: Duke slipped and sprained his ankle.

• Overcooked night: instead of helping to do the dishes right, Jason kept on being chaotic, he'd block the passages, put unnecessary ingredients on the countertop, slap the other cooks, anything he could do to troll them. They only got 1 star on a level and Steph threw a controller on Jason's head.

• Mario Kart night: Damian, first place. Tim, blue shell. That's all I have to say.

• Among Us: Everyone, literally EVERYONE started fighting and without any exception they all ended up in med bay. After that one, family videogames night was officially canceled. And Bruce had to organize a group therapy session for them.

• "They say I'm supposed to open up to people, but how the fuck am I supposed to open up to people when every time I trust someone they fucking STAB ME IN THE BACK?"

• "Jason, I was the impostor, I was supposed to stab people in the back."

• "I TRUSTED YOU, DICK, AND I WON'T EVER TRUST YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE NOT MY BROTHER ANYMORE, BITCH."

• Bruce strongly denies that he plays videogames. He says he's too old and he doesn't have time for that.

• Remember that aunt of yours who is already on level 900 in Candy Crush?

• Bruce is that aunt.

• He secretly has Candy Crush installed on his phone and whenever he's at Wayne Enterprises feeling bored, Bruce unlocks his phone and starts playing Candy Crush.

• There was that one time the bank called Bruce because they thought his credit card was cloned after a $200 purchase in App Store.

• But guess what?

• Yep, it was just Bruce fucking Wayne playing Candy Crush.

• He also managed to beat minesweeper more than once by the way.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing 23-29 May 2021

I’m so on the ball with this lately... >_> Sorry. Here’s this week’s roundup! May 23rd - 29th!

Remember to give your content creators some love! Be sure to join in on the events at the bottom! And remember to send in any new works you see or make next week!

~Mod Hel

Fanfiction/Snippets/AU Ideas:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

The Preventer Calendar https://archiveofourown.org/works/31561295

Gen, Reader, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner, Chang Wufei, Zechs Merquise, OC - Character

Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Humor, Partial Nudity, Reader-Insert, Nudity, A teeny hint of TrowaxReader, Rating because of some gratuitous nudity on Trowa's side

Twelve models, twelve shoots, twelve different locations in the Ardennes, and all of it in two fucking days. Because Preventer couldn’t spare you their agents any longer than that.

Why had you agreed to do this project again?

It's all for the arts.

boxofhatebrains

Helping Hand https://archiveofourown.org/works/31620146

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply, Light Angst, Comfort/Angst, Minor Injuries, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Not Gundam Wing: Frozen Teardrop Compliant, after series, Flirting, Not Beta Read, slight reference to Episode Zero, Swearing

Duo realizes that Heero comes around whenever he damn well feels like it. They’ve been in contact for the last seven years after the Mariemaia incident, but generally at Heero’s own whim. Duo stays in the same place, it’s Heero who gravitates.

This time is no different.

@duointherain

Silent Menace https://duointherain.tumblr.com/post/652120818915115009/fic-silent-menace-11

1x2x1

Warnings: Mute Duo. Drugged and injured Heero.

Une always had the dark side of the job. She’d let others give out goodness, but bad news she owned herself. Duo had come to the conclusion that she was trying to take responsibility, trying to be a decent person. He could vibe with that.

@lifeaftermeteor

Touched by the Stars (Ch. 7) https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314657/chapters/77885468

M/M, Chang Wufei/Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei/Heero Yuy, Trowa Barton/Chang Wufei, Chang Wufei/Quatre Raberba Winner

Explicit, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, thar be porn, Dubious Consent, Aliens, Alien Abduction, Alternate Universe, mention of MPREG, everyone takes a turn with Wufei, alien anatomy and interesting dicks, Tentacles, Monster Boys, Slime, Double Cocks, Cum Inflation, Knotting, Oral, multiple dicks, Xeno, Spitroasting, Oviposition, Body Modification, Polyamory, Unbirthing, Triple Penetration, Cervical Penetration

University instructor Chang Wufei didn't even believe in aliens, much less intentionally attract their attention. But that doesn't mean much when they decided he'd be the ideal final mate for their group and scoop him off of the planet to take home to their queen. Enjoying him on the trip there, of course. 

@noirangetrois

Of the Sea (Ch. 10) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749670/chapters/78205124

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, fairytale my way, Meroctopus!Dorothy, Slow Burn, Multi POV, POV Third Person Limited, merman au, MerMay, Fantasy Politics, mentions of abuse, Unnatural November

Heero Yuy will soon be reaching the age of majority, at which time he will ascend the throne of Wingaria. Before such time, he must needs choose a bride. But what if there are no good choices? What if someone else has captured his heart?

The Story of Wrong (Ch. 8) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13849020/chapters/77856332

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Duo POV, Angst, Drama, Tragedy, Spoilers, very dark, Heero and Duo don’t die, I promise, Yaoi, slowburn, Mental Instability, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, If those are in any way an issue for you then go ahead and skip this, Eventual Smut, VERY eventual, this is mostly canon-compliant but I’ve changed a couple things here and there

Duo recounts his experiences during the war in order to explain… well, why he was wrong.

simulacraryn

love me like (tomorrow we’re) stardust https://archiveofourown.org/works/31458119/chapters/77811359

M/F, Treize Khushrenada/Lady Une

Treize Khushrenada, Lady Une, Original Characters, Hot Dog (gundam wing)

Explicit, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Angst, Near Death Experiences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, unredeemable villain, Sex, Smut, consent is fucking sexy, Spoiler: He wore the Astro Suit at last!, Newtypes (Gundam Wing), no predators or prey here, intact brains

The World Nation would face off against the White Fang to bring about an end to all conflict between the Colonies and Earth. The plan had called for the bitter end of the last bastion of the old regime, Treize Khushrenada. However, as with every play on the stage of war, the actors have chosen to adlib. Effectively throwing the course of history off the rails, the director finds himself faced with a new road to choose.

@zaganthi

Jiu Jie https://archiveofourown.org/works/31413956

M/M, M/F, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Duo Maxwell; Duo Maxwell/Hilde Schbeiker

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Relationship Negotiation; Polyamorous Character; Quatre Raberba’s Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart; Aged-Up Character(s); Newtypes (Gundam Wing); Past Relationship(s); Jealousy; Awkward Flirting; Bathing/Washing; Cuddling & Snuggling; Museums; talking about feelings; Psychic Bond; Dealing with exes; Ex Sex; Colonists exploring earth

Hilde waved goodbye as she left and Duo went to look for Treize and Quatre. What the hell was wrong with him. His body seemed to be saying yes but his mind was definitely not in that space at all. What the everlasting hell was going on. He wanted to see her again but why?

Treize passed him a picture of tree frogs, apparently feeling the confusion as Duo half jogged through the aquarium to catch back up. What the hell. Just what the hell.

It took him a while to get there, but the moment he got close, Quatre saw him, beamed a happy smile and the link opened up with a rush and he was surrounded again in emotional warmth. It was addictive and a relief, and there wasn’t, there wasn’t any recrimination from either of them. Just run off and see an old flame, it’s cool, we’ll be here when you get back vibes.

Lebensmüde https://archiveofourown.org/works/31413278

M/M, Duo Maxwell/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Quatre Raberba Winner; Treize Khushrenada/Duo Maxwell

Explicit, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Aged-Up Character(s); Quatre Raberba’s Uchuu no Kokoro | Space Heart; Newtypes (Gundam Wing); Preventers (Gundam Wing); Cameos; Therapy; Aftermath of Torture; Aftermath of Violence; Rape Aftermath; Physical Disability; Gratuitous Smut; Psychic Bond; Psychic Abilities; Domestic; Injury Recovery

Treize remembered the discussion of gunpowder residue on his head; it was one of the things John had been livid about after everything, and unable to explain any more than Treize had at the time. Seeing it written down… was something else. Treize closed the book over his finger, gently tapping it on his thigh as he looked up at Quatre.

“The first hot chocolate of the season,” Quatre said sitting down next to him, comfort flowing over the link. “I really wanted something sweet.” He paused. “I can feel something is…oh.” He noticed the book in Treize’s hand.

“Adding to the list of things we need to probably talk about,” he said quietly, contemplating it as he reached with his other hand to take the cocoa. “Have you written everything up?”

Fanart/Crafts/Photo Manips:

@2pcbart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31618103

Recollect - Trowa/WuFei, comic style

@alphaikaros

https://alphaikaros.tumblr.com/post/651358650733150208/little-angry-boi

WuFei Chang, fanart

@bettertasting

https://bettertasting.tumblr.com/post/652303436314017792/something-spicy-for-the-dash-im-really-digging

Heero/Duo, fanart, nsfw

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/652089738925359104/%F0%9D%98%9B%F0%9D%98%A9%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%B4-%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%B4-%F0%9D%98%97%F0%9D%98%B3%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%B7%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%B5%F0%9D%98%A6%F0%9D%98%B3-%F0%9D%98%9E%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A5-%F0%9D%98%A4%F0%9D%98%A2%F0%9D%98%AD%F0%9D%98%AD%F0%9D%98%AA%F0%9D%98%AF%F0%9D%98%A8-zechs-merquise

Tallgeese, gunpla

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/652448694036316160/sd-wing-gundam-ew

Wing, gunpla

@judaru

https://judaru.tumblr.com/post/651257960922857472/im-20-years-late-but-ive-been-reading-a-lot-of

Duo Maxwell, fanart

@keiko1183

https://keiko1183.tumblr.com/post/652327422940807168/completed-with-pencils-might-be-doing-the-acrylics

Trowa/Quatre, fanart

@not-so-dead-fandoms

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/651085636504272896/mermay-01

Heero Yuy, fanart

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/651494132071661568/mermay-02-duo-as-a-betta-fish-merlad

Duo Maxwell, fanart

https://not-so-dead-fandoms.tumblr.com/post/652283083819810816/mermay-03-of-course-i-made-trowa-a-clownfish

Trowa Barton, fanart

@pineappleglazedham

https://pineappleglazedham.tumblr.com/post/651759824584966144

Trieze/Une, fanart, fanfiction, playlist

Photosets/Gifsets/Screenshots/Manga Pages:

@clair-audients

https://clair-audients.tumblr.com/post/652114120696594432

Wing & Altron, gif

@disturbed02girl

https://disturbed02girl.tumblr.com/post/617456995130294273/thoughtful-quatre-thursday

Quatre, manga page

@meggie-stardust

https://meggie-stardust.tumblr.com/post/652350439669547008/same-energy

Epyon is an icon.

Fandom Discourse:

@bobo-is-tha-bomb

https://bobo-is-tha-bomb.tumblr.com/post/651423437954433024/a-homage-to-the-reader-insert

Reader Insert Homage

@cuteciboulette

https://cuteciboulette.tumblr.com/post/652076342033170432/shinigamis-coming-to-town-d-duo-just

Duo Maxwell, doujinshi

Quotes:

@incorrectgundamwingquotes

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/652102805897805825/in-the-groupchat-trowa-why-tf-do-we-have-20

Trowa & WuFei

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/652356366558806016/heero-yeah-but-as-far-as-plans-go-this-is-not-a

Heero & Quatre

https://incorrectgundamwingquotes.tumblr.com/post/651830976331251712/duo-gesturing-to-heero-dont-worry-weve-got-an

Duo, Heero, & WuFei

Calendar Events:

@gundamzine

Rhythm Generation 2021

Meet the Mods: https://gundamzine.tumblr.com/post/636708854145613824/come-on-over-a-meet-your-2021-zine-mod-team-head

Check out the blog for the Zine schedule!

@gundam-wing-pride

Gundam Wing Pride 2k21 https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/648237909672083456/incoming-transmission-faq

A Beautiful Rainbow of Prompts https://gundam-wing-pride.tumblr.com/post/649898271517573120/a-beautiful-rainbow-of-prompts

@gwartserver

Month of WuFei https://gwartserver.tumblr.com/post/649995521569767424/month-of-wufei

Shooting Stars (online convention) https://gwartserver.tumblr.com/post/650013463432888320/once-upon-a-time-lifeaftermeteor-and-myself

@gwcocktailfriday

Cocktail Fridays!

Post responses on Friday, during Happy Hour between 3 & 5 pm in your own timezone.

Here’s the prompt for Friday, !

In need of Summer/Fall(Autumn) prompts!

(I’ll um... fix these when I have time to find more prompts.)

@gwlemonyshenanigans

May 23rd’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/651999227800600576/may-23rd-submission

May 24th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652131130827571200/may-24th-submissions

May 25th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652252350922342400/may-25th-submissions

May 26th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652312096032342016/may-26th-submissions

May 27th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652433653693136896/may-27th-submissions

May 28th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652434486286548992/may-28th-submission

May 29th’s Submissions https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652648408588353536/may-29th-submissions

Friday Spotlight! https://gwlemonyshenanigans.tumblr.com/post/652439213602684928/the-lastspotlight-friday

@oztober-rust

Welcome to Oztober Rust

We’re an up and coming Gundam Wing event with a slight twist! This page is still a work in progress, but you’re welcome to join us over on discord and get a feel for the event.

Have discord, will fan. https://oztober-rust.tumblr.com/post/647568110262566912/i-see-a-nice-and-steady-following-we-do-have-a

@seasons-of-gundamwing

Summer Event Voting https://seasons-of-gundamwing.tumblr.com/post/646220556727877633/seasons-of-gundamwing-okay-wingers-its-time-to

@thisweekingundamevents

Events Calendar https://thisweekingundamevents.tumblr.com/post/644080386309275648/events-calendar-update

If you are hosting an event currently, or are planning on one, hit us up with links and dates! We’ll add them to the Calendar and reblog your notices to get the word out!

[vicegrips-fr]

BLISS

A friend pays Stareater a visit at his nightclub BLISS.

-------------------------------------------------

I’ve decided to start posting lore of Neo Necropolis in between lore posts with The Velvet Fang. My hope is by doing this I can create a much more fleshed out story for both as the two are connected! Apologies in advance for any typos hnnngh. My eyes are glazing over a little bit lol. @fusefr <3

Warnings: Fantasy drug mentions and that’s about it! Nothing too detailed either. 

-------------------------------------------------

BLISS is positively packed tonight. 

The sound of the music within spills out into the sidewalk where dragons in their humanoid forms stand waiting in line to get inside. Some of them will be turned away, be it for legitimate reasons or simply because they don’t look like the kind of people BLISS wants within its vibrant walls. It rained all day and the neon lights both inside and outside cast brightly colored reflections in the dirty puddles that have collected on the street. Thankfully for all the lost souls waiting to get in and forget about their troubles for a night the skies are clear now save for the constant cloud of smog that hangs over the Necropolis. The bouncers stop the man next in line from going inside with a rude shove. His eyes widen and then narrow in anger as he looks up at the two far larger men. “Hey!” he shouts, “What the hell, man? I waited my turn! Move over!”

He tries again and the same bouncer who stopped him before (a Guardian with a nasty scar over his left eye) stops him again with a harder shove this time. “Get lost,” he grunts unperturbed, “You ain’t gettin’ in tonight, buddy.” Their names are RiffRaff and Skinner and both of them work for Stareater. RiffRaff, the Guardian standing in the poor fool’s way, has been working under Star for several years now. The scar over his eye was the result of an incident that happened just outside these very doors. He’d turned the wrong woman away and got a knife in his face for his trouble. Skinner, a Bogsneak with a shit-eating grin, has only worked for Stareater for a little over a year now. Of the two he’s less likely to give you a hard time, but RiffRaff is working on that.

“What about me, boys?” RiffRaff and Skinner look away from the trouble in front of them and grin. “You know you don’t even have to ask, Mal,” Skinner rumbles. “That’s why I ask, darling,” the man in question replies, “Because I like hearing you tell me how important I am.”

Mal, or Malibu as he prefers to be called, is indeed a V.I.P. at BLISS. A local drug dealer known for the quality and vast variety of his products. Well, that and his dramatics. As always, he’s dressed to the nines tonight and looking for a good time and a little extra cash. 

“Anyway,” he hums, pulling his glasses down to give the outraged would-be patron a look of disgust, “Get out of the way and better luck next time, kiddo.” Grinning and much to the chagrin of the poor chump in the way, the pair of bouncers make room for him and he sashays inside, pausing to blow a kiss to the annoyed crowd of faces still waiting for their turn. Once inside he makes a beeline for the man he’s here to see and it’s not very hard to find him.

“ARE YOU GUYS HAVING A GOOD TIME OR WHAT?”, booms an all too familiar voice over the microphone. The crowd cheers and Stareater whoops in response. “That’s what I like to hear! Bombshell, turn up the music!” At his command the music grows louder, pink, blue, and purple lights dance across the walls, and Malibu rolls his eyes. He loves to party as hard as the next guy, but Stareater lives for it. It’s all the man does and rumor has it the reason he became addicted to mods in the first place was because he wanted to be able to sleep less and party more. If it’s true or not no one knows for sure and Star sure as hell hasn’t done anything to squash those rumors. “Star!” Malibu shouts, “I’ve got your shit, loser! Come and get it!” From where he’s standing on the stage near Bombshell he shouldn’t be able to hear Malubu’s words, but thanks to the implants in his head he can hear him just fine. “Yo! Mal! I was wondering when you were going to show up!” “WHAT?!” Malibu screeches back over the music, “I can’t hear you dummy!” “Oh. Right.” Grinning from ear to ear, Stareater jumps down and makes his way through the grinding bodies on the dancefloor to meet Malibu where he stands. “Looking as fine as wine,” Star purrs, eyes roaming up and down Malibu’s body, “So you said you got my stuff?” Malibu’s nose wrinkles as if in disgust but the smile on his face betrays his true feelings. “Shut up perv. That’s a terrible come-on,” he teases back, “And duh. You think I’d come to this dump for pleasure?” “Dump?!” Star gasps in faux shock, “How could you say something so cruel? I’ll have you know this is the nicest dump- I mean nightclub in the city.” Malibu quirks a brow and Star throws his head back and laughs. “Okay one of the nicest,” he corrects himself, though it’s clear he still believes what he said before.

“Better,” Malibu snorts, “Now let’s go somewhere more private, yeah? I’m thinking a nice booth and you’re paying for my drinks. I had somewhere else important to be before you called me and begged me to come down here.” “Pfft, sure,” Star chuckles, “But I don’t mind paying for your drinks. A handsome man like yourself with the key to my happiness in your pockets? As if I’d let you pay.” With that he leads Malibu to the V.I.P. booth reserved for himself and his associates. People see them and move aside, parting like the red sea for the pair and greeting them with smiles and (mostly) obnoxious hellos. The booth in question is the definition of opulence. The seats are red leather with neon blue lights attached beneath them to light the way and create the perfect atmosphere. The booth itself is encased by three walls made up of mirrors trimmed with purple satin drapes and there’s a bottle of expensive wine chilling in ice on the table. “Sit!” Stareater booms, “You hungry? I’m hungry. How about some tapas? On me, obviously.” Malibu purses his lips and slides into the booth opposite Star. “As if I’d turn down free food,” he replies flippantly, “But first things first-” Fishing into his coat pocket, Malibu pulls out a small clear bag filled with a pink powder and tosses it onto the table. Eyes widening with a ravenous excitement, Stareater quickly snatches the little baggie off the table and shoves it into his coat. The stuff inside is known as ‘warp dust’ and Malibu has the finest warp dust on the street. “Thanks man,” he coos, “I can’t wait- wait- wait- wait-”

SMACK.

Stareater brings the edge of his palm down hard against his head several times until the glitch in his mod rights itself.

“Sorry about that!” he says cheerfully, blinking the fog out of his bright blue eyes, “You’re probably used to it by now but hey, manners and all that jazz.”

Malibu shrugs, crossing one leg over the other beneath the table.

“Doesn’t bother me, Star,” he replies nonchalant, “But you might want to have Repo take a look at that.”

“Naaaah,” Star laughs in response, “It’s no big! Maybe if it becomes more of a problem, but until then? I’m cool.”

Malibu shrugs again, sighing softly as he reaches for the bottle of wine that’s been enticing him throughout this entire exchange. There are two glasses on the table and he slides the one closest to him in front of himself, popping the cork with one of his long and neatly manicured claws.

“Suit yourself, darling,” he tuts, “But I think you’re forgetting something.”

Stareater raises an eyebrow and Malibu stares back at him from across the table. “Oh! Money!” Star exclaims, bonking himself on the head, “Right, yeah, my bad!” Reaching into his other coat pocket he produces a wad of cash and tosses it to Malibu who catches it out of the air and tucks it away inside his sleeve. “Well! With business out of the way how about we get to the having fun part of the evening, hot stuff?” Stareater’s grin widens until his cheeks hurt. “You’re speaking my language,” he replies brightly, “Now pour that wine! Afterwards I’m thinking shots- you down?” “Have I ever not been ‘down’?” he chuckles lightly. “Touche,” Stareater murmurs, “I should know you better than that. Now wipe that sour look off your face and drink up!” To be continued...

[oracleofkairos]

30 Questions For Your Guardian

These questions are taken from the post here by @fem-birb-woman, seemed like a good way to kick this off! 1.) What is your guardian’s name? What does it mean? What inspired you to choose that name for them? "The Oracle Of Kairos. I didn't choose it, but it was given to me by the followers of Osiris, after my frequent excursions into the Infinite Forest."

2.) What did your guardian name their ghost? What does it mean? What inspired them to choose that name?

"This here is Custode, means Guardian in a pre-collapse tongue. Little bit of a joke, but this little guy has seen me through many trials, and I'll know he always has my back."

3.) What is your guardians favorite weapon of choice? What mod do they use for it? Do they have a masterwork on it and if so, how many enemies have they killed with that weapon?

"The IKELOS_HC_V1.0.2 , a gift from Rasputin. I've tuned it to handle rank and file opponents, I have had the aid of others to bring it up to a masterwork of engineering, and frankly, I've lost count of how many this pistol has killed."

4.) Do they participate in the Crucible often or do they just go to complete the daily challenges? "I hate the crucible. I understand it's purpose, both for morale and training, but I still can't bring myself to enjoy getting curbstomped by other guardians."

5.) If your guardian had to choose to be another class, what class would they pick? Or would they stay the same? "I think I'd prefer to stay a Warlock, but I could see myself as a half-decent titan, but I'd be much more of a strategist than an unstoppable battering ram."

6.) What is their favorite subclass within their own class? "Stormcaller. I've always felt a more tangible tie to Arc energies, and since the reawakening of my light, that has only strengthened."

7.) What is their favorite subclass in a different class?

"Sentinel titans will always have my respect, they put themselves on the line to shield allies from harm, and they're very good at it."

8.) Would they rather receive a titan kiss ( a hard ass headbutt that mostly results in death ), asking a warlock a question that might result in a long explanation, or deciding to play the knife game with hunter and bet at high stakes? "Ask the question of a Warlock. I'd much rather have an interesting conversation than risk losing a body part, no matter how briefly."

9.) Would they prank other guardians or just their close friends? What kind of pranks would they pull?

"The Hijinks of the Drifter and Cayde always made me... Afraid, of pranks. I don't think I could bring myself to engage in such things."

10.) Which vanguard member to they like to hang out with the most? "I'm on good terms with both Ikora and Zavala, but I more often find myself discussing theories or new intrigues with Ikora whenever I stop by the tower. She's been a fine mentor and a better friend."

11.) Who would they fmk out of Skolas, Ghaul, and Calus? "Frankly, I hate everything about this question, but in the interest of honesty; Fuck Skolas, Marry Calus, and Kill Ghaul."

12.) What kind of hobbies do they do in their free time? Are there any particular skills they have that help them with this hobby(s)? "I've always found an interest in etchings and engravings, I've got a good hand from many hours with a pen, and that serves me to handle the tools when making carvings."

13.) What is their favorite armor set and what shader do they use for it? "Oddly, I've always been attached to the Exodus Down armor provided by Failsafe... It's always just... Fit me, in a way. Almost all our armor is perfectly tailored, but this runs deeper than that. And, in honor of the Followers of Osiris, I wear Kairos Bronze."

14.) Do they prefer silence or are they unbothered in loud areas? "Depends on what I'm doing, when studying or researching, I require quiet, but I do enjoy the bustle of the Tower when I need to relax."

15.) Are they afraid of storms? If so, is there a specific reason why? "To the contrary, I love storms. There's nothing better than wandering and just taking in the energy radiating from those electric clouds."

16.) Who were they before their ghost revived them? Do they know about this and if so how or what did they use to learn about themselves? "I know looking into such things is... Frowned on, but I have done some research into it. Between my own strange clicks, and the fact I was first revived on Nessus, I believe I may have been one of the crew or colonists aboard the Exodus Black."

17.) How close are your guardian and their ghost? If they are not close, would your guardian kill their ghost and choose to answer the darkness’ calls? "I love Custode. If anything were to happen to him, I'm not sure I could, or would want, to survive the experience."

18.) Would your guardian engage in a romantic relationship with Fallen, Cabal, Hive, etc? If so, what do they find attractive about the species? "This... Is an odd question, I suppose I couldn't deny the possibility of finding myself with a sentient member of any of those species. I wonder what a relationship with the hive would even be like..."

19.) Who is their favorite lore hero? Example, Jolder, Saint-14, Andal Brask, etc. Why is this person their favorite and in what ways do they inspire your guardian? What would your guardian say if they were face to face with them? "Osiris and Toland The Shattered. I could not hold them to the title of Hero, but I look to their works as examples on how to push the limits of Guardian knowledge, but also how to be mindful of the edges of madness."

20.) Does your guardian like plants? If so, what kinds? Do they prefer flowers or trees or shrubs? Would they start a garden?

"I do enjoy plants, and I actually have a small terrarium containing a blueberry bush inside my orbiter."

21.) If your guardian became obsessed with something, what would it be? "The infinite forest... I was... Unable, to resist the temptations of the possibilities within, and found myself lost for a long few years... I've only recently re-emerged, only to find Cayde dead, Osiris hostage, Mara, Saint, and others returned, and some mad scheme about swearing guardians to the darkness. It was... A difficult adjustment."

22.) Do they like reading books or watching movies or both? What genres are their favorites? Does their fireteam have the same taste? "I've always enjoyed both books and cinema, whenever I was invited to showing by other guardians. Historical fiction and high fantasy hold a special place in my heart, as they speak to our capacity for imagination."

23.) What kind of music do they like? Do they dance around anybody in any situation or in the privacy of their quarters? What would their favorite song from the Golden Age be? "I've always enjoyed Golden Age Classical, since I first heard it among Rasputin's broadcasts. And while I don't often dance, I do enjoy the occasional slow dance with a partner during The Dawning, or other festivals."

24.) What does their living space look like? Are there a bunch of pictures around or do Knick knacks cover the shelves? Do they enjoy bright, neutral, or dark colors? Would they purchase a fur rug? "I do my best to keep organized, but there's many, many little momentos of my travels, and it makes it difficult to keep things tidy. I prefer cooler colors, and I do have a fur rug I pinched from Clovis Bray's facilities. Bear, I think."

25.) Do they travel around the city often? If so, what are their favorite places to go and who do they go with? Are the civilians ever excited to see them or do they give them a look because of precious mishaps that resulted in property damage? "I often travel within the city, whether I'm visiting friends in the New Monarchy, or going to the various scrappers and book-vendors. I have a few good friends, and I do my best to be polite and respectful to all others."

26.) Are they good with kids? If not, how do they react when a child tries to talk to them? If they are good with kids, what kind of things do they do to entertain them? "I'm... Not amazing, with children. I enjoy their inquisitive nature, but I sometimes get too wrapped up in my explanations, and either scare them with things they didn't need to know, or leave them with more questions than they started with."

27.) Are they in love with Shaxx?

"No. In the words of a man with wisdom beyond his years; 'Every minute I spend in the crucible makes me wish I stayed dead.' "

28.) When your guardian sleeps, are they stiff and stay in one spot or wild and kick off the sheets? Do they have nightmares often and if so, about what? How often do they sleep? "Custode does his best to remind me to get a full nights sleep, and tells me he sometimes has to verify I'm still alive, given that I'm almost perfectly still. As for nightmares... They happen, especially after everything on the Moon."

29.) Do they enjoy coffee, tea, soda, or water? Would they mix all of these together and drink the liquid on a dare? "I'm partial to both Coffee and Tea, particularly one kind Eris was kind enough to make for me during our stay on Luna... And absolutely not."

30.) What about their personality attracts other guardians to them? What is it about other guardians that attracts your guardian to them?

"I enjoy other guardians with a passion for discovery and a desire for knowledge, and I often find others who seek me out for the same. Though there have been cases other guardians or fireteams have sought my guidance after my years in the Infinite Forest, hoping I have insight into future events."

[surveyhoursss]

98.

Prep

I shop at Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle, or Aerospatiale.

I am/was a cheerleader.

I'm pretty ditzy.

I wear pink 24/7.

My looks are very important to me.

I can't live without my cell phone.

My hair is always straight.

I say 'like' and 'omigod' a lot.

I laugh 24/7.

I have a million friends.

I always hang at the mall or movies.

I'll only date popular guys.

I listen to rap & pop music.

I have at least one designer bag.

My myspace pics are of me making a kissy face or are mirror pics

It takes me at least an hour to get ready for school in the mornings.

Uggs + Miniskirts = Love

I don't have a job

I wear lots of makeup. (wouldn’t call it lots, though)

I can be stuck up or snobby sometimes.

I flirt with any guy, as long as he's cute.

Total = 5

EMO

I cry a lot.

I go to local shows.

I wear black everyday (typically I always have something black on)

I write sad poetry.

I play an acoustic guitar.

My favorite bands include: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, or Panic! at the Disco.

I think about suicide or death often.

People have told me to cheer up.

I cry when I see dead animals.

My myspace/Facebook pics are black or white or angled.

I wear many band shirts.

No one understands me.

I don't talk too often.

I look down when I walk.

I wear black eyeliner.

I have an ex I still cry over.

My hair is black

My hair covers one of my eyes.

I always say 'life sucks'.

Total: 4

NERD

I have straight A's.

I wear glasses.

I always do my homework and study.

Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement.

Computer games.

I'm 'teachers pet'.

I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.

I have a bedtime.

I use an asthma inhaler.

I carry a calculator with me.

I bring my lunch to school.

I always follow the rules.

I'm shy around the opposite sex.

I'm always on the computer.

I've never had beer or cigarettes.

I always answer every question in class right.

I correct people's grammar.

I read a lot.

School is very important to me.

I always stump people.

Total: 8

REBEL

I always speak my mind.

I have 0% of school spirit.

F*ck you, I won't do what you tell me!

I stand up for what I think is right.

On spirit days at school, I wear the rival's colors.

Whenever people are doing something, I do the complete opposite.

I won't listen to authority figures.

I always break the rules.

I refuse to compromise.

I'm always arguing with people.

I love debate.

I always do what's unexpected of me.

I don't give a sh*t what people think of me.

If I watch a cruddy movie in theaters, right after it's over, I'll say 'that sucked'.

I'm not afraid to contradict others.

I only respect my own beliefs.

If I don't want to do something, I won't do it, no matter what.

I laugh at compromising people.

I cheer on the rival's sport team to stand out.

Rules were meant to be broken.

Total: 1

JOCK

I'm on one or more sport teams.

I always wear my varsity jacket.

I've won awards for my athletic ability.

I will only date popular girls/guys.

School Spirit

I'm going to a college for sports

I watch sports on TV all the time

I'm muscular.

I play sports or exercise at least 3 hours a day.

Go Team!

I'm a chick/dude magnet.

I eat a lot.

I'm egotistical.

I'm too focused on sports to make really good grades.

I sit at the jock lunch table.

All I talk about with my friends is sports.

I go to lots of sports games.

I'm very athletic

I wear sport inspired clothing.

play at least 3 different sports.

Total: 4

COMEDIAN

I'm funny.

I'm always making jokes.

I interrupt class by making people laugh.

I like to entertain people.

I worship Kevin Smith.

I watch comedies more than anything.

I also watch SNL and Mad TV a lot

I'm sarcastic.

I've been told I'm hilarious.

I always imitate people.

I pull lots of pranks.

I always make sarcastic remarks after everything.

I have to prove myself by being funny.

People expect me to make jokes, always.

I have a lot of pressure to make everyone laugh.

If I don't make jokes, people ask me what's wrong.

Jim Carrey is my idol.

I mostly get along with everybody.

At pep rallies, I'm the one acting crazy and silly.

My teachers or parents tell me I need to focus more on work and less on joking around.

Total: 3

SHY

I don't have a lot of friends.

I don't talk too much.

It's not that I'm snobby, I just get nervous when talking to people.

When people say my name, others say 'who?'

I'm pretty sure mostly no one knows who I am.

People have told me I need to talk more.

I only talk when other people talk to me first

I look down when I walk.

I avoid social gatherings, such as games, dances, or parties.

People have tried to help me be more outgoing, but it never works.

I always plan to talk to more people, but I never do.

I sit in the back of the classroom.

I never participate in class discussions.

I hide behind people to avoid being seen sometimes.

I could never be a cashier, talking to strangers.

I talk quietly.

People have called me shy or quiet.

I usually let others decide for me.

If someone is talking about my favorite book or movie in front of me, I don't join in the conversation.

Total: 12

GOTHIC

I wear black.

I don't like to be seen.

I'm very, very pale.

I only listen to metal or emo-ish music. (neither of these is goth, mallgoths XD)

I love creepy, weird movies.

I love gothic cartoons and drawings.

I don't like people.

I only go out during the night.

I have black fingernails.

I wear a long black coat.

I also wear big black boots.

'The Crow' is one of my favorite movies.

I only date other Goths.

I love black humor.

I love pain.

People think I'm crazy.

I don't talk to anyone who isn't as deep as me.

I love to scare people

I laugh at teenyboppers.

People are scared of me.

Total: 3

WEIRDO

I talk to myself.

I say really random things all the time/have to say it out loud.

I fidget a lot.

I still use a wheeled backpack.

People laugh at me.

I walk really funny.

I have a very different sense of style.

I talk in a robot voice often.

I'll stop whatever I'm doing, and break out in a crazy dance if the mood strikes.

I debate stuff with myself.

I hear voices.

I'm obsessed with aliens and the other planets.

I have a fascination with robots and machinery.

I use really big words no one understands, and they give me weird looks.

I say random lines of babbling that make sense to no one but me.

I dart my eyes from side to side.

I always pretend I'm a robot or other weird non-human thing.

People have no idea why I think the way I do.

I have some very unusual, extraordinary talents.

When people ask me if I like something that's trendy, I pretend to be scared or confused.

Total: 3

ANTISOCIAL

I hate/dislike most people.

I prefer to be alone.

When people talk to me, I just give them a death glare.

Actually, most people don't talk to me.

People are freaking idiots and I wish they'd all die.

I live in my room, writing in my diary. On the computer...

I go out my way to avoid everyone.

I never greet anyone.

I despise people who talk too loudly.

I want people to think I'm a freak.

I never talk.

I can't wait to get off this earth.

I always sit by myself at lunch or anywhere else.

I listen to music on full blast on my ipod/mp4 player/headphones to block out the world.

I don't know why I am the way I am.

People have said I'm antisocial.

I use drugs or alcohol to escape the loneliness.

Why bother when people don't like you anyways?

I occupy myself so it won't look like I'm a loner.

I just don't get along with anyone.

Total: 1

SKATER

I skateboard to everywhere.

If I'm not skateboarding, I carry it with me.

I shop at Pacsun.

I'm obsessed with Tony Hawk.

Oh yeah, and Bam Margera.

I always play skateboarding video games.

I have shaggy hair.

I wear baggy pants.

I wear only skater shoes.

I always wear hoodies. (well, much of the time)

I hang at skate parks 24/7.

I'm always learning new board tricks.

Forget school, I want to be a professional skateboarder.

I've been skateboarding for over 4 years.

I hang with other skaters.

I've been hurt while skateboarding.

I've been in a skateboarding competition.

I wear vans.

Tony Hawks games win.

I've met some of my closest friends at skate parks.

Total: 0

GANGSTER/HOOD

I say 'yo'.

I also say 'fo shizzle'.

I wear extremely baggy pants.

Mah chainz hang low.

I hang with my homies, biotches, and Hoe's

I'm a thug.

I only listen to rap music.

50 Cent is my idol.

I don't give a frick about school.

I steal/have stolen before (as a child lol)

I freestyle.

I breakdance.

Gold chainz is tha way to go, biotch.

I'm white but I act black.

All my heroes are dead rappers.

Tupac is still alive.

I party with all my nigs.

I wear a sideways baseball cap.

I wear hoodies.

I wear converse with the tongue flipped out.

Total: 2

BULLY

I always steal people's lunch money.

Geeks are afraid of me.

I get in trouble all the time.

I steal people's stuff to be an a**hole.

People have called me a bully.

I have beat someone up before.

I'm always looking for a fight.

I pick on people smaller than me.

I push people out of the way when I'm walking.

I've never been in a relationship before.

People are afraid of me.

People know not to mess with me.

I'm taller than most people my age.

I pick on people for the fun of it.

I make fun of everything anyone else likes.

If anyone crosses my path, they're dead.

People know not to try and stick up for themselves when I'm around.

I'm one of the strongest kids in school.

Even some authority figures are afraid of me.

People get out of my way when I'm walking.

Total: 0

GAMER

I own at least 2 different video game consoles.

I love Final Fantasy.

DDR & Guitar Hero

I've missed school before because I was trying to beat a video game.

I'm always trying to beat high scores on games.

I even play a lot of computer games.

I play at least 3 hours of video games a day.

My thumbs are sore often.

I spend all my money on new video games.

My boyfriend/girlfriend has to be into video games.

All I talk about is video games.

I've been in a video game competition before

I pay over 30$ a month in online games.

I have bought more than 5 accessories for my console

I know about more than 10 cheats and mods in the game I play most.

I have played at least a complete week in the game I like most.

I wouldn't know what to do in an afternoon without electricity.

My parents often tell the internet is broken or simply disconnect it so I don't spend whole weekends and holidays playing.

I have more than one online account on the same game.

Total: 2

GIRLY

I have long hair.

I wear make up every day.

I carry a purse.

I have to get someone else to come kill a spider.

I paint my nails.

I use perfume.

I keep my nails clean/shaped

I shower regularly

I used to or still do Dance, Gymnastics, or Cheer/Pom

I like to accessorize

I like flowers.

I don't like to be outdoors.

I'm more like my mother than my father.

I like hanging out with girls than boys.

I like going to the mall/shopping.

I watch my weight/ count calories.

I plan outfits ahead of time

People say I have a soft/sweet voice.

I dream about and am already planning my wedding day

I watch dramatic shows on tv, soap operas, reality TV, etc.

Total: 9

BOYISH

I have short hair.

I hate doing laundry.

I like war type video games.

I like playing or watching sports.

People say I have a deep voice.

I'm more like my dad than my mom.

I beat up or tease my younger siblings or friends.

I act tough, it doesn't matter what's going on inside me.

There's only two emotions.

I shower only when I start to notice I stink

I think about the opposite sex a lot.

My room isn't neat.

I bite my nails instead of using scissors/clippers.

My clothes don't match sometimes, but I don't notice or care

I like to play rough with dogs.

I like the movies 300, Transformers, The Dark Knight.

The best way to get the opposite sex to like you is to act like a jerk.

I don't read

I don't ask for help even if I need it.

Total: 3

scored highest on: Shy lmao

[funkymbtifiction]

My Daydreams Are Getting Out Of Hand

Hi! Thanks for being here and answering questions during this time! I’m an INFP 4w3, and quarantine has me losing myself further and further in my daydreams. I can’t get anything done anymore because I constantly seek to escape. Reality feels so far gone, and I don’t really have anything to look forward to. I wanted to be productive! I wanted to do yoga, read book, write, work on my photography, but I find myself unable to follow through on any of my goals. 

When my life is going well, and I’m feeling happy with who I am and where I’m at, my daydreams often involve aspects of reality only slightly heightened. My life is enough for me, and I want to present for it.

But right now that I feel like I’m getting older, and I’m not fulfilling any of the expectations of who I thought I’d be in my twenties, and to top it off, there’s this pandemic…my daydreams are crazy fantasies that will probably never come true. [...] Again, it’s not like I didn’t daydream before, but I feel like it’s becoming unhealthy because these things aren’t really in the scope of reality, not even close. Nothing feels enough and I wish I were “the best,” and yet, I’m unable to DO anything about it, or even use it as motivation to improve upon myself and who I am as a person. After my daydream highs, I sometimes feel a sharp hit of reality, and I almost want to just hide away forever and give up on everything because I’m never going to have a life that’s THAT good, and I’ll never reach the heights of my potential. 

How do I stop my toxic idealizing of others and the need to be “seen” in order to matter? Because that’s kind of what my daydreams revolve around. And just, how can I be more productive even with the thought that my work may never have an audience (tree falls in the forest…does it make a sound…)? 

This is a lot to deal with right now all at once. I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it’s understandable because right now, everyone’s life is on hold -- not just yours. Many people’s careers are on pause. Many people’s dreams have been postponed until life resumes normality and nobody knows when that will be or even what it might look like when it does. Uncertainty is part of life -- but as human beings, we are not used to thinking about how uncertain things are. We attempt to control our little corner of the world through “making plans.” And modern people are very reliant on plans; there’s an old saying, “God willing or the creek doesn’t rise” which implies -- this is what I’ll do if I’m allowed. It’s hard to develop that mindset, but you need to do it. Recognize that you can make plans and carry them out -- if circumstances allow. If they do not, you need to adapt and figure out work-arounds.

NFPs have unrealistic expectations of life. It’s a sad fact of being an idealist. And they/we tend to escape into fantasies rather than deal with life, when it gets hard. Mostly, however, what they lack is an understanding of how long things take, how it takes doing ‘mundane’ things to get there, and of how things can be ‘slow.’ I saw a meme yesterday that said “I want everything to change right now!” Followed by someone telling them “here are the boring daily things you can do to make that happen!” And the person dramatically saying, “No, that’s boring.” NFPs want instant transformation. To suddenly be where they saw themselves in the future or to overcome their negative trait instantly. But life does not work like that. To get what you want, you have to do the daily grind. Show up. Work on things a little at a time.

You mentioned wanting to dazzle people with your talents. Are you working on all those things every day? Right now, you have a luxury of being home with no external distractions. Instead of wasting your time in unrealistic daydreams, why not catch yourself doing it, tell yourself that’s not helping you reach your goals, and set new goals? New things you can work toward? Then do it. If you daydream of knowing other languages, start learning them. Work on them a little at a time every day. What else can you do, to prepare for your goals to kick into place once the quarantine lifts? Start using your Te. Read books that will strengthen it, help you learn to organize your time better. Write down what you want from life, and read up on how people got it (Si knowledge building). Decide what that would look like in your life.

Instead of daydreaming, why not write? Turn your daydream into a character-driven narrative in a series of self-motivating short stories. You’re depressed right now and seeking fantasy as an escape, but... your life is just on pause. It’s not over. You are 20-something. That’s still super young. Will you feel okay with not being famous until you are 35? Or 40? Do you love what you want to do, to do it even if it earns you no praise or attention?

I understand the need for attention, affirmation, and encouragement. I face that war every day in my various projects, whenever I realize no one cares that much. Then I have to ask myself, “Am I doing this for me, or for praise that may never come? Am I writing this book series because I love these characters and my creativity and am proud of what an excellent writer hard work has helped me become? Or am I just doing it for attention? Am I doing Funky because I want the likes and reblogs I am not getting? [They have become almost non-existant in the last year. Which is disheartening. I spend lots of time writing up profiles!] Or am I doing it because I enjoy analyzing characters and want people to find a character ‘like them’?” You have to learn to start talking yourself through things, and finding reasons to keep doing them that stem from... YOU. What YOU love to do. What YOU want. What YOU feel proud of.

If you do something from the heart, you will find those who appreciate you. If you do things only for praise, it won’t be authentic and it won’t draw people. But as a 4, you may always want more than you get. That’s also something to feel aware of and pay attention to -- to ask yourself often, “Am I being unsatisfied with what is right in front of me? With the people right here who love me and think what I do is wonderful? Am I ignoring them and chasing after shadows?” You can ignore 5 fans who would follow you to the end of the earth, who love what you do that much, in search of 3,000.

NFPs want to change the world through their ideas, so they/we crave a huge audience and to make an impact. And it is hard to keep doing things if no one seems to care. But... why are you doing it? Ask yourself that. Praise or changing the world?

Regarding things to look forward to -- are you connecting to people? Recruiting them to do fun things online with you? INFPs are poor at asking others to give them their time, but the truth is -- your friends are also lonely, bored, frustrated, and have nothing to look forward to. Set up online movie nights. Set up chats. Plan things together. Factor in when the quarantine will likely end, and start making plans for after that. Some things, you can already plan -- various movies are tentatively being scheduled for the rest of the year. Are there any of those you want to see / look forward to? Are there places you want to see? An event does not have to be ‘huge’ to be something to look forward to. Make little events in your life. I had to do my annual Titanic viewing alone, rather than with my usual guests, but I still made myself a special high tea and dressed up. I’ve been writing down shows I’m looking forward to watching and their release date on my event calendar, so I can anticipate them. Some of the local gift shops will be opening soon. I look forward to visiting them. Learn to love the little things.

It’s going to be all right. Life will resume itself. People will go back to work. Your dreams will get on track. This is just a pause. A time to breathe and dream. And you know what? It’s all right not to work all the time. It’s all right to rest. Use this time to get to know yourself. To observe yourself. And to make plans. ;)

- ENFP Mod

[mydearestreaderfanfics]

Wake Me Up (Shiro x Reader)

Warnings: swearing, fake dating, reader has light anxiety

Word Count: 4,855

Prompt/Request: Shiro x femreader with the fake relationship trope?? bonus if they're childhood best friends and pining idiots

Summary: Reader has gotten herself into a bit of a pickle with a study group at school, thankfully a helpful Shiro agrees to pretend to date her to fix things. What happens when their feelings are more real than they want to pretend they are? Read and find out!

Author's Note: I don't usually write in 1st person, but I really wanted to try something new out. Readers, let me know if you liked it, please. Also, to the anon that requested this, I especially hope you like this and sorry it took so long. Bonus! If you want an enhanced reading experience go listen to the Ed Sheeran song by the same name.

Author: Mod Alex

I knew from the first time I met you that you're something absolutely spectacular. The second your family’s moving truck left, my mom was dragging me over, insistent on the fact that we needed to make the new neighbors feel welcome. I had seen you hiding behind your mom’s leg as our mothers talked. I had waved but that only seemed to make you shrink back more. You had looked so timid and scared back then, even more so when your mom told you to take me to the back so we could play. You had begrudgingly agreed, hiding behind a big oak tree. I followed unsurely. “Hey, are you okay?”

“L-mm-on.” You’d hidden your face in your knees, effectively muffling your voice.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

You peeked up. “Leave m’lone.”

I was taken aback but had sat down regardless. “I’m not mean y’ know. We could be friends?”

You hid her face again, but not enough to muffle your words. “Can you read?”

“Read? Um, mostly. I can’t read real big books. Oh, did you want me to read to you?” You nodded sheepishly and I grinned. “Cool! I’ll be right back, okay. You stay here.” I had run back to my house (which was right next door) and brought back my favorite storybook. “Huff… I’m back… huff… I wasn’t sure what kind of… huff… story you like, so I brought this.” I held the book out for you to see. You startled, but relaxed when you saw the book. A shy smile tugged at your lips and you nodded. So I read, and read, and read. I read until my voice began to fade away and the crickets began to sing. “Takashi, sweetie, are you out here?” In my voice that was fainter still, I bid you goodbye, before I could leave though you tugged me back to hug me briefly and ask if I still wanted to be friends. I, of course, agreed, which to this day, I believe was the best decision of my life.

I guess I must have won you over that day because you deemed me worthy of being your best friend. I was elated, of course. Sometimes we played pretend, other times we played hide and seek or tag. Sometimes we read right behind the great oak tree just like that very first day. It was the same way throughout the entire time we went to school. Sometimes, although I’d never tell you this, whenever I notice you’re having a rough day I’ll call and ask you if we can meet up under the oak tree in your backyard. I’ll read to you then, not because you can’t read (you can, beautifully if I do say so myself), but because it's tradition and because it makes you smile and goodness knows I’d do anything in the world to make you smile. Which is where we are now.

“Kashi?’ I pause, eyes leaving the page to look at you.

“Yes, (N/n)?”

Your eyes are closed, if it weren’t for the fact that you had just spoken I might have mistaken you for being asleep. It wouldn’t be the first time you'd have fallen into an easy slumber slumped against me in the shade of the mid-afternoon. “Do you think you could read me something a little different?”

“Of course!” The words left my mouth faster than I meant to let them, making me sound like an over-eager to please labrador, which I suppose when it came to you I absolutely was. You hummed happily, but the creases in your forehead indicated that something was off. “Anything in specific you’d like?”

You blinked your eyes open, sighing before picking yourself up off me to shuffle through your phone. “This?” I took the phone from you, containing my surprise from you. It wasn’t the first time you’d asked me to read you a romance, but I still couldn’t help the butterflies that would awaken in my stomach when you did. You resumed your spot leaning against me, closing your eyes again. Pushing back the urge to kiss your forehead, I began reading.

As I recited the meet-cute to you I couldn’t help but picture us; is that bad? That I can’t even read a simple story to you without picturing us as the ones sharing secrets, swapping longing glances and flirty remarks. It’s why I never choose romance novels. Because then Hazel melts away with the words into you, and suddenly it's not her telling Augustus the lines, but you telling me and I can’t handle it. I feel like I can literally hear your voice, soft and melodic reciting the lines; when I realize it’s not just my brain supplying a pining fueled fantasy, it really is you actually mumbling along with me "...As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” And even then it doesn’t slow my heart rate because why that line? The one line that makes sense in the situation we’re in. Do you have any idea what you’re doing to my heart?

We hadn’t even gotten halfway through when I heard you sniffle. My words faltered, resuming as I tried to steal glances at you. We had yet to even get to the sad part yet, so why? Eventually, I just gave up trying to theorize what might be wrong and stopped to gaze at you. Your wellbeing was my top priority after all. That’s the whole point of us sitting here, isn’t it? “(N/n), what’s wrong?” At this point, it was evident that you were crying. Your face was pressed into my arm, but I could still hear your sniffles. It broke my heart, to see you like this. Without a thought to be flustered over the intimate gesture, I cradled the side of your face, gently urging you to look up. “Hey, now, whatever’s troubling you, we’ll get through it.” You started to cry harder and I immediately felt the syrupy trickle of guilt through my veins. Had I said something wrong?

“It’s all my fault. I’m so stupid. Why do I always have to be such a fuckup, Kashi?” You wouldn’t meet my eyes, looking down pitifully. I wiped away a tear futilely.

“Hey, don’t talk about my best friend that way.” You giggled softly at that. “Really though, you aren’t a fuckup and as far as I’m concerned you’ve never done anything to deserve the berating you're giving yourself.” You sigh, leaning against my hand mumbling quietly.

“You’re sweet. But I really did fuck up this time.”

“What happened?”

“Do you remember when I told you about my group for my Fiction Writing class…”

“Yeah?” Of course, I remembered. Out of everybody in the group, you were the only one to take the assignments seriously, not to mention the guy you mentioned that kept hitting on you- Lotor was his name. I’m not a jealous person, but the thought of someone making you that uncomfortable for their own gain gets under my skin more than I’d like to admit.

“Well, um, it's just that they, um, they got it in their head that you and I, that we’re like, an, uh, an item? I-I was trying to tell them that we weren’t but they wouldn't let me get a word in, you know? Lotor said that that was the real reason I would have to reject his advances. And it was like they started kinda teasing me and I just didn’t know what to say anymore, so I told them that, uh, they could meet you… I’m sorry, you don’t have to, of course. I should’ve just tried harder to get them to listen to me. I should just, um, I can- I’ll just send Ezor a text. Word will definitely travel then...”

I frowned, listening as you continued to go further into your own head, curling in on yourself as you did. My heart twinged, was it so bad that I kind of wanted to play along? Wouldn’t it be a win-win anyway? The group you were in were not particularly nice people from what you'd told me and playing along with it would keep them from giving you shit, and well it didn’t hurt that I’d get to pretend to be your boyfriend… it might be the only chance I get. “What if… What if we just play along? I mean we already know everything about each other. It’d be easier than finding someone else or getting harassed every time you go to class. Anyways, it’s only until the end of the quarter.” And I was being sincere, regardless of my own personal interest, I would've done it for you. I’d do literally anything for you.

You stopped talking abruptly and looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite place. “You’d do that for me?”

I grinned. “Of course. It’d make it easier on you wouldn’t it?”

“I-I guess.” You bit your lip while you thought, a habit you’ve had since we were younger. “Yeah, okay... Yeah, this could work. Are you free Friday night?”

“Friday? What time, Matt and I have that conference.”

“Right, sorry I forgot. It’s, hmmm, let me check…” A beat of silence fell over us as you checked. “9:30?”

“9:30 is perfect.”

“Great! Okay, so the group is meeting up at the Lotor’s at 8, but the ‘study sesh’ doesn’t start till 9:30. Um, it’s really more of a party but Axca is bringing her notes, so I'd have to go either way. Also, I think they want to prove you are my boyfriend or whatever so…. Yeah.”

“I’ll pick you up at 7 and we can get something to eat before then. I have to take care of my girlfriend after all.” I was joking but saying it still made the butterflies stir up again.

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Sure, sure. See you then, boyfriend.”

-

I’d gotten more dressed up than I may have needed to considering we were going to a college party, but I wrote it off on wanting to look good for the act we were about to put on, after all, it had to be believable right? And well it wasn’ too dressy, just nice. I didn’t look nearly as good as you, of course. When I picked you up, I’d nearly stumbled over my words. I felt like a teenager again, picking up my date for prom. You laughed when I offered you my arm, taking it anyway even though we didn’t have to put on the act just yet. “You like nice, are you ready to go?”

“As ready as I'll ever be," You fiddled with your jacket as you smiled shyly at me, "and thanks, you look good too."

My skin buzzed with a pleasant electricity at the compliment. “Thank you. Well hey, look at the bright side at the least we go eat now. I'm starving, the conference didn't break for lunch thanks to Matt.”

You laughed and I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips, you looked so beautiful and carefree. “Alright, Mr. Matt-Didn’t-Feed-Me, where are we gonna eat at?”

“I was thinking Rover’s?”

We had started walking to my car, at least we were until you stopped in your tracks. “Rover’s? Isn’t that place kind of on the up-and-up?”

“Sure it is.”

“Won’t that be… kinda pricey. Shiro, I don’t think I can- I’ve got textbooks and supplies I still have to get for next quarter.”

I waved my hand, turning to grin at you. “I don’t remember saying I was going to make you pay.”

You huffed looking somewhere between uncomfortable and flustered. “I’m not letting you dump a ton of money on me.”

“Hey, look, I just got a bonus, alright. Let me take us out to dinner. We’re always talking about how we want to go there, so let’s just do it. I promise you there is nothing I want to spend my money on more.”

You grumbled, and before I knew it you had yanked me into a hug. “You are way too good to me.”

I let myself chuckle as I wrapped my arms around you in return. “No way, you deserve it.”

-

At Rover’s we had to park a little ways away. “Hi, we have a reservation for 8.”

The host smiled pleasantly looking at the screen in front of them. “Shirogane?” I nodded. “ Right this way.”

“You tricked me!” You whisper yelled at me as we followed the host.

“I did no such thing.”

“You didn’t tell me you already reserved a spot here.”

“It’s the only way to get in. Although I will say, I’m glad you agreed before we got here.”

You gently socked my arm and I acted hurt, sticking my tongue out playfully. “You ass.” Your broad grin betrayed your words, showing just how excited you were to be here.

"Name-calling, that’s not nice, (N/n). And to think I brought you here-”

“Oh my god, shut up you nerd.”

“Your table.” The host had stopped, watching the both of us with an amused expression. He was older, nearing his late fifties surely. “I remember when my husband and I were your age. We were just like you.”

I laughed, somewhere between disbelief and absolute delight. “Thank you, sir.” I heard you splutter, masking it as a cough. While the host began to walk away I winked at you. “We have to get into character, right?”

-

Dinner was spectacular, although we could have been at a Denny’s and I still would have had a great time with your company. That’s not to say going to Rover’s was overrated, it really was as good as we thought it would be. You seemed so carefree, it was nice to see you free of your usual anxious demeanor. That was a far stretch from how you looked now as we drove to an exclusive party that you had no want to go to. You were practically white-knuckling in the car. My hand found yours, the other still planted firmly on the steering wheel. I gave it a gentle squeeze. You didn’t say anything, but the squeeze you returned to my hand told me more than any words would have anyway. It was one of my favorite things about our friendship, we knew each other better than anyone else, no words necessary.

The house spanned almost a block, with a smattering of people, all in varying states of drunkenness, across the lawn and flocking in through the wide set of French doors. I got out first, moving to open your door, before offering my arm. “Oh my god, you cheeseball.” You took my arm gingerly despite your words, letting your hand slip down to mine once we started walking. Before we made it in I made it a point to stop you, leaning down towards your ear, letting you hear me over the loud thrumming from the music inside.

“I won’t let us get separated, okay, so don’t worry.” I paused for a moment trying to articulate my thoughts in the least embarrassing way. “And, I don't know how far you're comfortable with taking the act. I know we didn't talk about it too much, so if anything happens and you're uncomfortable let me know and I'll figure a way out of it, okay? Is there anything you want to avoid?" My face was burning, asking was important to avoid causing you any unnecessary panic, but it still felt odd asking what the limits of our fake-relationship were. When I pulled back enough to hear your response, you were just as flustered as I was.

“If the situation calls for it, almost anything. And I'll only go through with it if you’re okay with it too. Can we go inside?” Your voice, even as close to me as it was, was just barely over a whisper, your nerves evident. It reminded me of my own voice, ripe with longing in so many conversations we had had and I entertained the thought, even if only for the briefest of moments, that maybe you were pining for me too.

The inside of the house made the front lawn look like the prohibition. People were passed out at random parts of the room, narrowly avoiding the houseguests who were in the middle of sloppy make-outs. The whole thing felt like it was ripped from a cheesy teen film. You were still holding my hand, having taken the lead to drag me through the house to the enclosed back deck where people thankfully seemed to be a little soberer.

“(Y/n), you were able to make it good, and oh- I knew you two were a thing, although I will say I’m surprised.” Lotor’s posh voice rang clear through the chatter and although he didn’t outright say it, his meaning hung heavy in the air: he was demeaning you, saying he was surprised you’d managed to be dating me. Just another tactic to lower your self-worth enough for him to go in for the kill. I hated guys like that, who thought that 'negging' was an appropriate way to win someone over. Besides that, the idea was stupid and I wanted to tell him off, I’d die happy if you ever decided to grace me with being my girlfriend, for him to even insinuate that I was too good for you was absurd.

“I'm Shiro, nice to meet you. (N/n), has told me all about you all, it’s good to finally be able to put a face to the name.” I laughed hollowly, enough to give the random passerby the idea of a friendly interaction but cold enough to let Lotor know I didn't appreciate what he was doing, at least I hoped it did.

“Oh my goodness! So you and her are actually dating?!” A bubbly girl came over, hair in a long reddish-pink ponytail and with a drink in her hand; it was definitely not her first. Lotor threw her a look that screamed: "shut up". SHe didn't even notice.

I smiled warmly, squeezing your hand. “We are. For a while now actually. I honestly thought it was common knowledge?” I laughed, hoping she bought it. Her eyes widened, lips forming an ‘o’.

“Wow! I actually had no idea.” She leaned over to you, winking. “Nice catch. Axca is over there by the way, but you should stay a while. Y’know- eat, drink, be merry.” She giggled before swaying back over to a group of people she had been talking to.

“Come on, I need to talk to Axca.” You pulled me along by the hand, maneuvering through the crowd uneasily. I drew closer to you, hoping the close proximity eased your nerves the same way it eased mine. When we finally stopped, you stayed tucked under my arm, making warm contentment spread through my chest.

“(Y/n), Ezor sent you my way, I presume?” A girl with electric blue hair and a dark jacket sat on a relatively untouched sofa in the corner on her phone, her bag slung next to her.

“Yeah. I’m glad she didn’t send me on a wild goose chase. You have the notes, right?” She nodded but made no move to take them out. You shuffled next to me, words tumbling out of your mouth to fill in the silence that had stretched on for an uncomfortable amount of time. “Can I please have them? Parties aren’t really my scene…” After another beat of silence you continued, “... and Shiro and I already had plans so… yeah.” This caught Axca’s attention, her eyes darting from the screen of her phone to meet your eyes.

“Oh? So you’re still pretending?” She said it without a hint of amusement as if genuinely puzzled.

“Pretending?” You practically squeaked the word out before continuing, quickly covering up your shock. “What in the world are you talking about?”

Axca looked between us. “There’s no trace of you two being together in your online presence. The four of us all figured you were faking. Almost none of us actually thought you were dating him, Ezor just wanted to get a rise out of you and Lotor…” She paused, deciding that what she was going to say was better left unsaid. “So you two really have been dating? You don’t make it too obvious.”

I could practically feel you fuming beside me. “Just because we don't flaunt it like some Insta-couple doesn't mean we haven't been dating.” Axca shrugged, fixing you with a disbelieving and uninterested look. “I mean, really! Isn’t it bad enough that you all tease me all the time!? Now you’re trying to catch me in a lie that you all set up?!” You were shouting, the weeks worth of subtle bullying finally boiling over. It was garnering the attention of party-goers nearby.

“What’s going on?” A tall girl with curly space buns spoke, Ezor was leaning heavily against her side. She radiated intimidation and I felt you shrink against me. Still, you held your ground.

“You all set me up and I don’t appreciate that. Especially since Shiro and I are actually dating and he went out of his way to be here to prove as much to you all.”

“Is that so? Axca what did you find out?”

“Not much. They’re all over each other’s pages, but it’s not necessarily romantic.” She tossed the tall girl, Zethrid if my memory of your description was right, her phone.

Zethrid looked over the contents of the phone before laughing. “Prove it then, (Y/n).”

“That’s enough. I’m not just going to let you all taunt her while I stand here. Axca, was it? (N/n) is here for the notes you have. If you would kindly hand them over. As she's already told you all we have plans and I’d rather not have to postpone the date I planned with my girlfriend because you all think making fun of her is fun.”

“Is that so?” Lotor came strolling from behind us, a fourth woman leading him. She stood quiet, her gaze piercing.

I turned to him. “Yeah. It is.”

“Go on then, Prince Charming. If you love, (Y/n) so much, then why don’t you do something to prove it. Otherwise, I'm sure there's someone who could make her much happier.” He spared a glance at you.

"She's not a prize to be won-" I looked over at you, you’d taken to squeezing my hand. As I turned you grabbed me by the collar and before my brain had a moment to register what was happening you’d pulled me down to press a kiss to my lips. My mind raced and after a second for my mind to process what was happening, I wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you closer as we kissed. You were the first to pull back, a shy smile gracing your lipstick smudged lips. A whistle sounded in the back, along with some cat-calls. You didn’t seem to care, and honestly, I knew how you felt. It was like a bubble was around us as I leaned down to kiss you again.

I would have kissed you until the sun came up and the crowd dispersed but an arrogant voice broke through the haze. “Alright, we get it!” When we broke apart, Lotor stood silently fuming. “Axca give her the notes so they can leave.”

“But I thought-”

“Just give her the notes.” Axca did, fishing a perfectly labeled folder from her bag and handing it to you. As she did, Lotor moved

towards you with a barely hidden sneer on his face as he leaned down to whisper something to you. Clutching the folder, you jogged back over to me, taking my hand in yours as you did.

We made it outside, walking down the sidewalk to the car. The voices and blaring music fading quickly behind us. “Are you okay?”

You hadn’t looked at me, much less answered. We sat in silence even as my question hung in the air. “You kissed me.”

“What? I thought we agreed... You pulled me-”

“The first would’ve proven enough. But you kissed me a second time. Why?”

I couldn’t discern the odd tone of your voice. I felt jumpy all of a sudden. “I just- we had to convince them-”

“Was it just an act then?” You turned to me, tears quickly polling in your eyes. Guilt stung at my heart, I’d been selfish, thinking that maybe your feelings were the same as my own and instead I’d made you uncomfortable and confused. You deserve the truth at the least.

I took a slightly ragged breath. There were a million ways to tell you that I’d loved you since we were nothing more than two kids sitting with a book in our laps behind a tree, hell I’d even imagined it a handful of times, and yet not once did I think this would be how you'd find out. “No. No, I- I shouldn’t have done this. It’s never been an act, not for me at least. I never meant for it to go this far but then you kissed me and I thought- I should have realized it was just for the act. I’m sorry, I fucked up. You have every right to be mad at me, but please if there’s any way that we can still be friends. I don’t want to lose you.” I was rambling, but I couldn’t find the right words and I couldn’t fix it- couldn’t make the harsh feeling of rejection leave or take my actions back.

“Shiro.” Your hand came to cup my cheek, stopping me in my tracks. “Slow down. Let me get this right, you were never acting?” Your eyes glanced between mine as if searching for the truth. I nodded. “So you really wanted to take me on a date and kiss me?” I nodded again, trying to dip my head to hide my blushing features. The hand cupping my cheek stopped me. “How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you felt like this?”

I swallowed thickly. “How long? Um… yes?" A strained, nervous laugh escaped me, "I mean, I can’t even think of a time when I didn’t. M’sorry.”

I chanced a glance at you to see your reaction. I certainly wasn’t expecting you to be barely holding back a fit of giggles. Ouch. You must have seen me cringe because you quickly stopped. “Sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just, god, you mean to tell me we could have been doing this so much sooner?”

“I- what?” I couldn’t let myself believe what I was hearing. You rolled your eyes good-naturedly.

“You and I could have been dating for years now. Are we both seriously such disasters that we’ve literally been pining for each other for years?!” You sounded incredulous and I found myself laughing in disbelief along with you.

“I guess you’re right. So does that mean that we can…” My words faded away as we leaned towards each other.

“Please?” Your words ghosted over my lips, teasing me for what was only seconds away. In the warmth of the car we kissed, it was the same but different than the kisses from before. The same subtle taste of your cupcake chapstick and yet it was so much… More. Maybe it was because we both knew it was what we wanted or maybe it was just the knowledge that I would be allowed to do this again and again and again, but the feeling of kissing you was intoxicating, a sensation that I knew I would never be able to get enough of.

-

It had only been a week since we went to the party and confessed, but everything still seemed so perfect. Ironically, very little had changed. You were still my best friend, after all. We were sitting in our usual spot, I was reading out an original piece of yours, both to revise/edit it at your request and because I had been dying to read it. I’d finished it, marking out a few editorials and encouraging notes on the margins of the paper. As I wrote a thought came to mind. “I've been wondering something.”

“Oh?”

“What had Lotor said to you that night?”

You rolled your eyes, huffing with annoyance. “He said that when I had my heart broken by you that he’d be there for me to come groveling back to.”

“What a prick.”

“Right?”

“For the record, I will never break your heart.” You laughed.

“Thanks for the reassurance, casanova.”

“No problem, my love.” I grinned as your teasing expression gave way to a flustered one. You slipped your hand into mine, hiding your face on my arm.

“Mm-uff-oo.”

I chuckled, some things never changed. “I have no idea what you just said.”

You pulled back just enough to be heard. “I said, I love you.”

I smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I love you too.”

[unioncolours]

One Majsasaurus Year!

Today is a very special day for me. This day marks the one-year anniversary since I uploaded the very first chapter of my very first fanfiction. It has been one year since I stepped into the Naruto/Boruto fandom as a content creator.

This post is going to be a sappy meta post about my year as a content creator and my relationship to my fanfictions, to my writing and to my fandom and friends.

Please continue reading down below 💕⬇ 

I began watching Naruto in 2019, and by summer 2019 I had seen Shikamaru’s arc in Shippuden. I was blown away by his character and I was a full shipper of ShikaTema by then. I could not wait until we got to the end of Shippuden, and began googling the next gen characters (and spoiling the end game couples at the same time) and you can only imagine my satisfaction when I found out ShikaTema became canon and they had a son.

Very soon after this I came up with my first fanfiction idea, the one that gave birth to my very first fanfiction Shadows and Sand. I believed that idea had been done before, but after vacuuming through both ff.net and ao3, and I found nothing, I decided to write it myself.

I may have written fanfictions only for a year, but prior to this I was hardcore into the original writing world. I had written two fantasy novels and five full length plays before I wrote my first fanfiction, one of which was published, so the art of writing was something I was fairly used to.

The fanfiction writers I had read and followed to this point were Big Fandom Name writers with strict schedules and lots of readers. Every time they uploaded a new chapter their audience would write comments like “Your spoiling us with these tight schedules” and so on. I really liked the idea of a consecutive schedule and decided to write the whole first fic in its entirety, so I could “spoil” my potential readers with updates.

Shadows and Sand ended up being 35 000 word long, divided into eight chapters. This was the first story in my whole life I had ever written completely in English (and it was not easy). Going back to Shadows and Sand is cringy for me, mainly for the way I expressed myself in English, thought I still think the plot is great.

Here is one of the lines from Shadows and Sand I to this day think is amazing:

“She [Mirai] looked into his eyes, but he [Shikadai] didn’t look back, because he was already staring into a nightmare where his dad was dead because of his mistakes.”

For a totally new fanfiction writer, with no “fanbase” prior to this, I would say I got quite a lot of comments (around 15 in total on the eight chapters) and I was extremely happy for that.

I uploaded the whole thing in a week and a half, satisfied and proud of the result. At the final chapter I got a comment where the commentor wrote something along the lines of “Well written angst and well written fluff”. I pondered about those statements for a long time, thinking, yes, this was actually angst, even if I in the moment of writing – then I was still unused to the tagging system and the tropes of fanfiction, didn’t categorise the fic as angst, because I thought angst could only be chopped off limbs and painful deaths. But this fic had angst as well. Tiny angst, but still. And a rather powerful feeling rose in my chest from that moment. This is what I want to do in the fandom. To write heartfelt stories that make people feel.

  One week after I uploaded the final chapter of Shadow and Sand my fingers began to itch. I wanted to write more. Wanted to explore the little grain of world building I had already created. Wanted to write more Shikadai and Inojin kissing.

And thus, To go down with the Sun was born.

I began writing Down with the Sun with only one vision – something epic and an explosion. The plot was evolving as I was writing and the result ended up being just beautiful. And I became obsessed with this story. I wrote it in racer speed, 50 000 words in 26 days (that is madness, I tell you, MADNESS!) and then the rest 30k in 20 days. I could not think of anything but this story and the Next Generation Kids I put through trials and hell. I felt true euphoria while writing this story that unfolded under my fingers like in a dream. It was a mania, and a damn strong one.

The first thing I did when I woke up was writing, the last thing I did before going to bed was writing it. I prioritised writing this story above all in my life.

At the time of uploading, the fic did not get that much recognition. I got about one comment per chapter. When I uploaded the final chapter, I got two comments on that one, which was a tiny bummer, since I had hoped for more. It was a lonely, but lovely job to write Down with the Sun, mostly with my own thoughts as company, since the readers were rather quiet with feedback.

But I loved the few comments I got and I still got kicks from just the single act of uploading a new chapter. Because in the end, I wrote for myself and even more for the characters and plot. Finishing the story was the greatest motivator.

I uploaded the final chapter of To go down with the Sun December 7th, 2019.  And I still to this day love the story I created, even if I know that I’d definitely re-write some elements from the story if I’d write it again. But I still love it.

   After To go down with the Sun I wrote the fic that I hold the least emotional value to, Earning a weasel’s trust. The story is cute and short (11 000 words). It was a nice little project focusing on Temari’s motherhood to Shikadai that I wrote in a week. It got close to no feedback or attention, but it didn’t make me sad, because I needed to write and share that story and then move on with my life. I am though happy I wrote it.

At this time in my creative process I had been really lonely. It had been me with my own head and the characters. I had no beta reader and no one to bounce off ideas or anything. I had no fandom friends. I am still amazed I had written around 130k words without almost any support whatsoever in the span of four months.

This all changed in late December 2019. I found a Discord Server that I basically begged to get to be part of, and it really changed my fandom experience. Prior to this, my fandom experience had been lonely, and I just produced and consumed content. There was no interaction between anyone, except me replying to commentors.

And now, I found friends. I found people who loved the same pairing and show as I, and it felt almost life changing. This was the time when fandom really felt like… a hobby. A home. Before, it was a creative outlet, now it became a community.

I thrived.

The mod of this server @loknnica, hosted during this time a writing contest, which I eagerly wanted to take part of. I wrote my contest fic, Branded by Love, during January 2020, in which I made Shikamaru betray Konoha for Suna and Temari, and their son Shikadai became the One Tail jinchuuriki. The fic was 10k words long, and OUCH, the backstory I came up with. As soon as BbL was finished I decided that I wanted to write a long version of this canon divergence-world I had created.

In February 2020 I began writing Trial of the Heart, the epic version of Branded by Love. And damn, damn, damn what an epic story was born out of my fingers and brain. I love ToH, I loved what it turned out to be, a heart-wrenching and sad story of Shikamaru, Temari and Shikadai in a world of war.

While writing ToH the writing contest was ending and to my big, big delight, I WON! Branded by Love and I won the contest! This was precisely the boost I needed to really feel validated in my rather specific writing style and choice of plots.

I wrote ToH almost non-stop for four months, and in the beginning of June, the 28th chapter was uploaded. Trial of the Heart ended up being 123 000 words long. In four months, a whole damn NOVEL was created from my keyboard.

The pride, guys. The pride and joy I felt was like a drug injection.

Finishing off works is the greatest, greatest dose of motivation and pride. To write, write, write and finish. And let go of your work, to upload it with a great smile on your face.

During the spring and summer of 2019 three very important friends entered my life.

Vee (@veeganburger on twitter),

Becks (@notquitejiraiya on twitter)

Spooky (@spookymoth on twitter).

These three wonderful ladies really made me feel valid as a writer, and made me love my own work as well. During the spring To go down with the Sun had gained quite a lot of attraction, and the kudos and comments came. All the loneliness I had felt during the autumn was replaced by joy and love of sharing my works. These women have shared their thoughts of my work (and art) to me and I have also in privacy felt secure to talk with these women about nothing and all at once. They never fail to cheer me up.

I love you.

I had also gained the nickname “Shikadai’s tormentor” after multiple times forced that poor boy into horrible situations in my works. The user @shikanaradai’s nickname is Shikadai’s protector and we have an ongoing joke about being archenemies because of this. Ah. The fandom bubble was and is so lovely when you can experience inside jokes with friends. They became my friends, and I gained so much from this.

ANYHOW.

During Trial of the Heart I wrote a friendship between Shikadai and Inojin and I realised I missed writing them as a couple, like I had done in To go down with the Sun. With the support of Vee, who was really, really excited for a new fic where those two boys are a couple, I decided to write a sequel to To go down with the Sun, which I named To dance above the Stars.

In the wait before I began writing that one, I wrote two one shots, 48 hours to live – a next gen focused fic based on a manga chapter from the Boruto manga, and a pure Shikadai x Inojin one shot, I found love in the eyes of a boy, because at that time I knew already I had dug my own grave with that pairing.

I began writing To dance above the Stars in June 2020 and uploaded the first chapter at the end of the same month.

Simultaneously as I wrote Above the Stars I also wrote/edited three fics, one of them called The End, for an application to become a writer to the ShikaTema zine Everything I never knew I wanted. The results of the application came in the middle of July, when I had written a good chunk of Above the Stars.

I WAS ACCEPTED!

I am now officially one of the five writers for that zine!

To dance above the Stars got better recognition that I ever imagined. I was terrified that no one would want to read it, because it was a sequel and had very niched themes. A rare gay next gen pairing in focus and a story with extremely heavy emotional themes. I was so unsure anyone would want to read. The same feeling of loneliness that I had experienced during To go down with the Sun came back a little bit. That it in the end would be only me and my text.

How wrong I was.

To dance above the Stars got wonderful feedback, and more kudos than for example Trial of the Heart got. I received wonderful comments, and even fanart! I was so extremely happy and felt a new powerful emotion. It almost felt like my fic had its own little world in the world of fics, if that makes sense? Like a miniature fandom. During the late summer To go down with the Sun got translated into Russian by a wonderful reader of mine, enabling my texts to a wider audience, which I am extremely honoured by.

As I write this, it is September 2020. One year ago, I was writing Shadows and Sand and struggling through stringing English sentences together and that was also when “my” version of Shikadai was born. One year ago, I was writing what I to this day think is the best fighting scene I have ever written – and I write a lot of fight scenes. One year ago I was listening to “I just want to be brave” from the movie Lion King to get into Shikadai vibes and the mistake he did in that fic, a song I revisit for this reason time and time again.

I remember naively thinking that I will finish Shadows and Sand and then maybe write something else as well. Little did I then, in September 2019 know, that I would one year later have written closer to 400k words of fics, centred around Team 10 or around the Nara family. One year, almost four hundred thousand words.

Now, one year later I had won a writing contest, written three full length NOVELS as fics, been accepted to a wonderful zine, and found lovely, lovely friends. I even got crowned as a “Queen” for the Shikadai x Inojin ship, Shikajin as it is called, since I am one of the like three people who write for that ship, and have to this date written around 180k words for them. Which is a lot, haha!

I feel like I have conquered a tiny corner of the great fandom sandbox, and let me tell you, I thrive in my own corner. I might have few followers on twitter compared to many other creators, but I still want to provide content for those who want to see it. I might write rather niche works, but they filled a space where no fics were, and enriched the fandom in their own ways, even if I haven’t gotten tens of comments on each chapter. I have gotten around four comments each chapter, but it felt like okay.

I might not mod great zines like many of my friends do, something that did for a few months bring great stress into my fandom life. Am I a second-hand fandom member because I don’t want to moderate a zine, was something I often thought about. Am I lesser worth because I don’t do these amazing projects? No, I am not. And I feel very satisfied by just following my friends’ journeys and look at beautiful twitter accounts for zines.

I want to put my energy on writing intriguing plots and difficult fight scenes. Every fandom experience is valid.

In my heart I know my fics and content are good. Maybe not as good as native English writer’s content, but they’ve got a heart and soul on their own, and I really feel like I do have a Majsasaurus genre, trope or theme going on in my fics. And to be honest, I love it, and I accept that other people might not love it as much, or not at all. But it doesn’t matter. What I think of my own content matter.

  If any of you, who read this, have commented even once on one of my fics, thank you.

If any of you have ever interacted with me on twitter through comments, thanks you.

If any of you have pressed the follow button on either twitter or tumblr for me, thank you.

If any of you have left kudos to me, thank you.

If any of you have read my stuff but don’t want to comment because of different reasons, or if you feel shy to reach out, thank you for reading and I appreciate you as well.

 That was one hell of a Majsasaurus Year. Here’s to the next year. Cheers!

Thank you, all of you. You make my fandom experience complete.

 -        Majsasaurus Bex

[xellandria]

The meatgrinder one-shot that was originally going to run this week got delayed a week because our DM got sick (feel better, Jim! <3), but that’s fine with me because it gave me time to finish off my characters.  We’re each running three level 3s—I stole/borrowed/inherited one from one of our other players (who was feeling really character create-y lately), repackaged the backup character I’d rolled to continue in our main campaign if my current one died for the second, and then had one more slot to fill.

Littlehands - level 3 Kobold Warlock (Great Old Ones/Pact of the Chain) Str: 10 (0) Dex: 10 (0) Con: 14 (+2) Int: 13 (+1) Wis: 10 (0) Cha: 15 (+2)

Littlehands’ hands aren’t actually little for his regular body—they’re actually mostly proportional.  Instead, he gets his name (nickname?) from his usual profession: hanging around with his pack of similarly-aged adolescent kobold friends, playing pranks on people by pretending to be a mysterious dragonborn.  You know, the whole “kids in a trench coat” thing?  Yeah that, except ~fantasy,~ lmao

At some point he got separated from his goonie squad—hence the lack of them here (though now I kinda want to design 3-4 more kobold teenagers, help)—though whether he’s actively searching for a way back or just kinda going with it is largely irrelevant since he’s almost certainly going to die during the one-shot.  Unless his patron can save him.  I dunno about that one, though...

In the meantime, he's also an Old Ones warlock, meaning he can telepathically speak to other language-speaking folks within 30 feet (regardless of whether they speak his languages or not). I like to think he's like that stereotypical thirteen-year-old on Xbox Live. You know, braggadocious, anything that goes wrong is obviously not his fault and here's why, lots of "suck my hemes" or "is your clutchmate hot" or "that's not what your mom said last night" nonsense. I have absolutely zero doubt that I will roleplay none of this when the time comes, given how low RP my group tends to be in general and the nature of this one-shot in particular, but that's fine lol Anyway his "patron" is Zoamelgustar from Slayers NEXT because why not, I know nothing about the lore in the 5e universe we're in and just because I got myself ridiculously attached to this throw-away character doesn't mean I have to take it all seriously at the same time. That's also where the clasp for his ridiculously oversized cloak and the belt buckle on his (currently girded because I was proud of my weird digitigrade legs on the first fullbody sketch I made and didn't want to cover them up lol) oversized skirt/kilt/whatever came from. Maybe he found a dead adventurer somewhere and stole their (her?) fancy bits, including a weird talisman to a deity whose horns were like, totally just like his, bro.

Littlehands is... not really a great character for pure D&D min-maxing—we use the array system for starting stats on these one-shots and there wasn’t a way to bump his charisma (and thus his spell modifiers and save DC) up one more point.  On the flip side, I also couldn’t make his dex as low as I wanted to because Kobolds get a +2 dex mod so 10 was the lowest I could get it.  I thought making him sort of clumsy because he’s wearing a gigantic oversized cloak (and gigantic oversized robe/skirt/kilt/whatever, though I’ve girded it in the full body sketches because I liked how his legs came out and didn’t want to cover them up lol) made sense, but I’ve done the best I can with what I had, lol.  There’s a chance that we’ll level up these characters from 3 to 4 in the course of the one-shot, and at that point he’ll be a little better, but there’s no debating that he’s not really an optimized character.  That’s fine, though, since he’s destined to die.  Probably.

[script-a-world]

(sorry this is long) I'm creating a fantasy matriarchal society that's a combination of like America post WW2 and like the amazons/valkyries crossed with magical girls. I could use some help figuring out the gender dynamics, since part of my goal is to use the swap to highlight some inequalities that still exist in our gender expectations today by flipping them. I'm trying to figure out if it's better to have the men be primary caregivers (1/?)

since there’s no reason to assume that the gender that gives birth has to be the caregivers) or if I should go the “matriarchal society would value childrearing above other jobs” route. Some thoughts I had: Women are the main magic-users in society (magical girl/amazons blessed directly by the god who rules the city with power)and that perhaps all young women are expected to go through military service of some sort before becoming matrons, politicians and doctors. (2/?)

Maybe women are associated with Life and Death and “important duties” that revolve around them, including duties regarding both killing and saving lives. So healing, leading armies, fighting, hunting, childbirth (possibly care?) and politics are feminine jobs, while “lesser duties” that revolve more around menial labor are relegated to men (manual labor, maintenance, ‘uneducated’ jobs, support jobs like scribe and secretary, cooking, cleaning, perhaps some jobs like fashion design or art). (3/?)

Do you think this is a good balance? What are some other ways I could divide gender roles? The world situation is a magical land with about early 20th century level tech (trains and private schools and like phones/radios).Also, what is the best way to objectify men in this society? I was thinking of making it so men are seen as useless/only for the purpose of providing sexual pleasure and siring children to women. (4/?)

They don’t’ actually create children or take the ‘important jobs’ (the poor dears just don’t have the brains for it, they’re too simple and direct, men don’t have the emotional maturity to handle serious issues, they lack empathy, they only want sex anyway so it’s not like you need to worry about their emotional needs, etc). I’d love some suggestions on how a society like this might work or if there are other ways to divide the gender roles, (5/?)

as well as some ways men might experience objectification in society. How would fashion be different, and how would this society put pressure on men to look or act in certain ways (and women as well). Any suggestions? Thanks, and sorry for the long question(6/?)

Mod Miri Note: If you have a question that requires multiple asks, please use the google form! That way there’s no risk of parts of the question being lost.

Tex: “Do you think this is a good balance?” No, I do not. I disagree with the notion that a group of people ought to be objectified, neglected, abused, pigeon-holed, or otherwise mistreated under the guise of inversion as a way to tout a certain prescription of thought. I think this methodology perpetuates stereotypes, and with stereotypes come all the -isms that are used as excuses to treat people poorly just because they’re different from the originating group.

I’m going to be radical and say “none of the above”. There’s a few reasons for my answer, but aside from the brief overview in the previous paragraph, let me go through and try responding to all of your points in a more precise manner.

Let’s start with American culture post WWII - and I’m going to assume that, because of this choice, you’re working from an American perspective. This is important! But I’ll handle that detail in a bit.

Post-WWII culture is heavily influenced by WWII culture. For women, this meant enlistment in the military, as well as filling the gaps in the domestic labor force left by men being shipped off (History.com, The Atlantic). Their service in the military - quite often voluntary - was as critical and crucial as their domestic work (Wikipedia 1, Wikipedia 2, Wikipedia 3). They usually received lower pay than men, true (though interestingly the women in the UK were often treated better; Striking Women), though governments of the time admitted that without women the war effort would have crumpled.

Rosie the Riveter is a popular piece of propaganda (where it was also considered patriotic for women to join the workforce and military service; National Women’s History Museum), but don’t let that dissuade you from thinking that women were not recognized for other types of work during the war. Many women in the US were recognized for their military service (USO), and other women’s histories endure today - Lyudmila Pavlichenko (Wikipedia), Vitka Kempner (Wikipedia), and Virginia Hall (Wikipedia). I’m going to toss in the official synopsis of Queen Elizabeth II’s involvement in her own military to round things out (The Royal Family), complete with a picture of her in uniform (Wikipedia).

Many women after the war went back to strictly domestic duties, and I think that parallels their wartime efforts - both situations are of the “all hands on deck” type, but the play of gender roles here means that the duties of a functioning society are divvied up by different functional spheres - and make no mistake, men and women relied on each other equally as much to cover the gaps, despite the sexism inherent in modern Western society. The difference between war and non-war time cultures was that the latter wasn’t necessarily cultivated by patriotism that could unite the different “factions”. The Oxford Research Encyclopedia of American History gives a thorough examination of this topic.

The following era - typified by the birth of the Baby Boomer generation - saw a marked increase in economic prosperity (Wikipedia). With that came increased social mobility for women (Citation 1), usually catalyzed by the actions of their fathers (Citation 2). This may typically be achieved by consistent, conscientious public policy formation (Citation 3). In short, many cultures - if they haven’t already - are realizing that it’s good for business to let women control how they participate in society and the flow of money.

In the US, this was precipitated by the boom of social development (American History; archived version). Aside from the Truman administration negotiating price fixing to prevent inflation, a significant factor was the passing of the Servicemen’s Readjustment Act of 1944 (AKA the G.I. Bill). This primarily benefited the Greatest Generation, though other pertinent legislation by the 79th Congress benefited the Silent Generation onwards: the Fair Deal, Revenue Act of 1948, Taft-Hartley Act, Employment Act of 1946, National School Lunch Act, and Hobbs Act.

It’s debatable how well this impacted long-term economic development, considering the almost immediate rise of McCarthyism in the US in 1947, which was heavily intertwined with the Truman Doctrine that precipitated the Cold War. The results of the war, at least economically, were… mixed (Wikipedia 1, Wikipedia 2). I have no doubt that this impacted the social mobility of women in all affected countries - which is all of them, but I’m sure hairs could be split on this if you wish.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s tackle the Amazons.

The modern, popular interpretation (that is slow to be shaken by archaeological evidence) is mostly mythological (Wikipedia). While some ideas are thrown in the way of a Minoan Crete ancestry to the myth, there are more similarities drawn to the Scythian and Samartian cultures on the Eurasian Steppe (CNET). It’s possible that instead of the equally-extreme pole end of the gender dichotomy that is patriarchy-matriarchy, the Scythians just scandalized the Athenians with a comparatively more fluid society (Smithsonian Magazine).

As for Valkyries… there’s been a revival of them in pop culture, probably as a net-casting to see what’s out there aside from Amazons. TVTropes covers the many, many ways media utilizes them as a trope, to varying degrees of mythological and cultural accuracy. As they state, valkyries are a form of psychopomp, as they decide who among the battlefield’s dead will go to Valhalla (ruled by Odin) or Fólkvangr (ruled by Freya). Freya seems to have assumed the “type” (as opposed to characteristics salient to a particular individual) of a valkyrie, as the female counterpart the warrior archetype. To wit, Freya herself may be a type (Wikipedia).

Here’s where the issue gets thorny - modern popular understanding of valkyries, and by extension Scandinavian women, is skewed through the modern lens.

@fjorn-the-skald has a lovely series called Viking History: Post-by-Post, or An Informal Crash Course & A Historical Guide to the Vikings, that typically focuses on medieval Iceland. In his post “Lesson 13.c - Women in the Viking Age, Part III: Were Women “Vikings”?”, discusses the particular penchant of modern times to romanticize and/or skew history to their own biases - in this instance, how medieval Icelandic women functioned in their culture, as well as how valkyrie myths play into this.

The TL;DR of that is: “viking” women were a societal anomaly, the battlefield was a male domain (and they were expected to die on it), a woman’s prowess of the domestic sphere was highly respected to a level often equivalent to men, and the domestic sphere was the sphere of commerce. Scandinavian culture prized strong women, just as they prized strong men, and their culture rested upon the concept of different genders having their own distinct, complementary, and equal domains.

Fjörn builds upon this history in an ask about gender roles outside the usual dichotomy of male-female. Valkyries, and shield-maidens, may be classed as a third gender in medieval Scandinavian culture, because women were temporarily occupying the male role in their society. While valkyries are of divine origin, shield-maidens are not, though they seem to have taken on a supernatural bent by performing feminine qualities while living in the male sphere (something that they can literally wear, by the donning of their armor).

That probably comes across as distasteful to, especially, a modern American perspective, but many ancient cultures are like that. There’s a footnote on that ask about links to a contemporary perspective of same-sex relationships, as well, to round out that talking point.

With those historical and mythological details discussed, let’s move on to magical girls.

Interestingly, the genre and trope derive from the American TV show Bewitched (Nippon.com). Its evolution reflected Japan’s changing tone about female sexuality, focusing on girls.  Magical Girl doesn’t seem to be intended to attract the male gaze in a sexual light - and in fact was generated as a form of female empowerment by by way of growing up (TVTropes), but it seems to happen anyways (TVTropes).

Magical girls, as a genre, originated in the 1960s - the archetypical Sailor Moon encompasses not only magical girls, but also the kawaii aesthetic. Kawaii, incidentally, followed after the magical girl trope, and plays upon women performing as girls in society.

As magical girls are intended for young girls, a demographic known as shōjo, it is considered a subgenre of the target audience. Please note that shōnen'ai (Fanlore) and yaoi (Fanlore) are also subgenres of shōjo.

For some context, the adult female target audience is known as josei, the young adult men is known as shōnen, and adult male audience is known as seinen. Many manga and anime are often misattributed to the wrong category, so it helps to know which is which, and why.

Kumiko Saito argues (through an unfortunately paywalled article that I’m more than willing to disseminate to those without JSTOR access) that magical girls reinforce gender stereotypes as well as fetishize young female bodies. She argues this point more eloquently than I can, so I’ll be quoting a few sections below.

Page 148 (7 of 23 on the PDF):

The 1960s “witch” housewife theme waned quickly in the United States, but various cultural symbolisms of magic smoothly translated into the Japanese climate, leading to Japans four-decade-long obsession with the magical girl. Bewitched incorporated the concept of magic as female power to be renounced after marriage, thereby providing “a discursive site in which feminism (as female power) and femininity has been negotiated” (Moseley 2002, 403) in the dawning of Americas feminist era. Japans magical girls represented a similar impasse of fitting into female domesticity, continued to fascinate Japanese society, and came to define the magical girl genre. In direct contrast to the American heroines Samantha and Jeannie, however, whose strife arose from the antagonism between magic (as power) and the traditional gender role as wife or fiancée, the magical girls dilemma usually lies between female adulthood and the juvenile female stage prior to marriage, called shõjo. In other words, the magical girl narratives often revolve around the magical freedom of adolescence prior to the gendered stage of marriage and motherhood, suggesting the difficulty of imagining elements of power and defiance beyond the point of marriage. In fact, these programs were broadcast exactly when the rate of love-based marriage started to surpass that of miai (arranged marriage),4 which implies that the magical girl anime, founded on the strict ideological division between shõjo and wife/mother, may have been an anxious reaction to the emergent phase of romance.

Page 150 (9 of 23 on the PDF):

The combination of magical empowerment and shõjo-ness framed by the doomed nature of transient girlhood naturally created ambivalent, messages in Akko-chan as well. In the societal milieu in which Japan was undergoing the politically turbulent era of Marxist student movements at the largest scale in the postwar era, Akko-chan’s super- human ability to transform into anyone (or anything) is quite revolutionary, implying a sense of women’s liberation. Despite this potential, her metamorphic ability never threatens gender models, as she typically dreams of becoming a princess, a bride, or a female teacher she respects. The use of magic is also largely limited to humanitarian community services in town. Akko-chan’s symbolic task throughout the series focuses on how to steer her power to serve her friends and family, leading to the final episode in which she relinquishes magic to save her father. Akko-chan embraces the cross-generic mismatch between the radical idea of empowering a girl with superhuman ability and the hahamono [mother genre] sentimentalism idealizing women’s self-sacrifice. All in all, the new setting adopted in this series, that a mediocre girl accidentally gains magic, became a useful mechanism for the underlying theme that the heroine is foredoomed to say farewell to magic in the end. This rhetorical device transforms latent power of the amorphous girl into the reappreciation of traditional gender norms by equating magic with shõjo-hood to be given up at a certain stage.

Saito discusses the thematic shifts in the magical girl subgenre in the 1980s to a more sexualized view, and the according rise of both an older audience and otaku fans, the latter of whom, she clarifies, make a habit of recontextualizing canon to categorize characters into stereotypes that are stripped of the majority of their original context.

On pages 153-154 (12-13 of 23 on the PDF):

The conventions of the magical girl genre transformed significantly against this paradigm shift. Both Minky Momo and Creamy Mami originally targeted children, recording a decent outcome in business and eventually leading to the revival of the genre. Because the plots are directly built on the genre clichés, however, the jokes and sarcasm of many episodes appear comprehensible only to adult viewers equipped with the knowledge of the Töei magical girls. The intrigue of these programs largely lies in the way they parody and mock the established genre conventions, especially the restrictive function of magic and the meaning of transformation. The genre is now founded on the expectation that the adult viewer has acquired a diachronic fan perspective to fetishize both the characters and the text’s meanings.

Creamy Mami presents the story of fourth-grader Yū, who gains magical power that enables her to turn into a sixteen-year-old girl. Yū’s magical power is more restrictive than Momo’s, for her superhuman capacity simply means metamorphosis into her adult form, who happens to become an idol singer called Mami. Given that the magic’s ability is self-oriented cosmetic effect and bodily maturation, the heroine’s ultimate goal by means of magic is to grow old enough to attract her male friend Toshio, who neglects Yū’s latent charm but falls in love with the idol Mami. The series concludes when Yū loses her magic, which correlates to Toshio’s realization that Yū is his real love. Mami’s thematic messages teach the idea that magic does not bring much advantage or power after all, or rather, magic serves as an obstacle for the appreciation of the truly magical period called shõjo. The heroine gains magic to prove, although retroactively, the importance of adolescence preceding the possession of “magic” that enables (and forces) female maturation.

It’s noted in the article that the 1990s-2000s period received criticism for showing a physical maturation of girls, so codified euphemisms via garment changes such as additional frills and curled hair were used instead. This “third-wave” magical girl challenged standing norms of its predecessors by doing things such as likening adult responsibilities (“childrearing and job training”) as a sort of game, as well as the transformation implying that the character’s power is in being herself, something that juxtaposes previous norms.

Due to shifting power dynamics and other changes in Japan’s culture, it became more common for boys to become magical girls as well, further separating the magical girl concept from a strict reflection of gender roles. As such, Japanese culture - insofar as my English-based research can guide me - no longer immediately implies a direct and distinct correlation between magical girls and the female gender.

An analysis of Puella Magi Madoka Magica (PMMM) by Tate James (2017; PDF) discusses an additional dimension of the magical girl genre. Two pertinent points of the piece is that 1.) PMMM dismantles archetypes pitting women against girls, and 2.) PMMM reinforces the gender stereotype that the best type of girl is a passive girl.

Now for the issue you’ve raised about who ought to be the primary caregiver of children.

Consistent, immediate, and continuous interaction between a mother and her child benefits both of them (Citation 4, Scientific American 1, Live Science, Citation 5, Scientific American 2, UNICEF, WHO). Mothers have a distinct neurobiological makeup that predisposes them toward caring for infants (Citation 6), and likewise infants have a predisposed preference to their mother’s voice and heartbeat (Citation 7). I would like to think that is sufficient evidence as to why nearly all cultures encourage mothers as the primary caregivers.

This said, cultivation of a father-child dyad is immensely beneficial to the child (Citation 8, Citation 9), and can alleviate the effect of maternal depression on the child (ScienceDaily). Partnered men residing with children have lower levels of testosterone but a higher risk of cardiovascular disease and adiposity (Citation 10). It’s interesting to note that higher prolactin levels in the mother’s breastmilk has a correspondingly higher level of sociosexual activity with their partner in cotton-top tamarins, which stimulates pair bonding (Citation 11), as well as in other species (Citation 12).

Paternal postpartum depression is recently recognized in fathers, to severe and reverberating deleterious effects on themselves and their family (Citation 13). Screening tools for detecting depression in Swedish fathers is not sufficiently developed, and many men may be passed over despite reaching cut-off suggestions in other criteria for depression (Citation 14).

It has been observed that while human mother and fathers have the similar oxytocin pathways, the exhibit different parenting behaviours when exposed to elevated levels of oxytocin - primarily that fathers will react with high stimulatory behaviour and exploratory play (Wikipedia).

Men being socialized in a culture of stoicism and an encouraged reaction pattern to violence have poor mental health that can culminate into death and other long-term effects (Citation 15). Suicide in the US is currently the leading cause of death at time of posting this response, that the total suicide rate increased 31% from 2001-2017, and in 2017 male rates were nearly four times higher than females (NIMH).

On the topic of magical culture: it’s incredibly difficult to research because it’s a component of overall culture, and one that’s not typically available to strangers/foreigners/the uninitiated. As such, a lot of authors default to what they already know. It’s not a bad thing, but if someone wants to reach outside their comfort zone, they’re going to have some trouble.

I’m going to go off the three, four-ish, cultures you’ve already come to us with: American, Scandinavian, Scythian/Samartian, and Japanese just to round things out.

For a very, very rough overview of America, we have:

Native Americans of the contiguous US

Hawai’i

Alaska

Whatever the colonizing peoples brought over (including, but not limited to, English, Scottish, Irish, Norwegian, German, and Italian)

Whatever the myriad cultures of Africa brought over as slaves

Hispanic

NB: I’ve put Hawai’i and Alaska as separate items because they’re not part of the contiguous US.

European settlers were of a few groups:

The merchants working on charters

Indentured servants from the merchants’ homelands

Slavs

Immigrants in post-colonial eras

This is an important distinction because 1.) contemporary culture matters a lot politically, 2.) how people came to the US determined how they and their family were treated, and 3.) the contemporary job culture determined their social class.

(Slavs, as a note, are the origin of the English word “slave”, something that Western Europeans historically liked to propagate.)

I’m not going to go into the details of everything the US has to offer in terms of cultural diversity aside from a nudge in the direction of Santería. What you pick up to research is up to you.

Scandinavian folk magic is known as “trolldom” (Swedish-language Wikipedia), and the region was known for their cunningfolk. Please note that klok/-a, klog/-e, and related words relates to the English word cloak, and these people are so named because wearing one was an integral part of how they interacted with the supernatural.

The InternetArchive has a book (albeit in Swedish) about the history of magic in Sweden, which is available in multiple formats. If you’d prefer to have something in English, you can either buy this book, or inform your library you’d like to them to buy it for you.

I’m a little surprised you hadn’t mentioned either the völva (Swedish Wikipedia, English Wikipedia) or seiðr (Wikipedia), as they’re quite a well-known part of Scandinavian folk culture. Fjörn, as always, is my first stop for this area of research, with the post “Lesson 7 - Viking Spirituality”, the Víkingabók Database, the tag of Old Norse words, and the post “Norðurbók: A List of the Tales and Sagas of Icelanders” as incredibly good starting points. I encourage you to peruse them, especially because the words you learn will help you be more precise during research.

The Scythian culture is quite far reaching, as they had occupied most of the Eurasian Steppe during the Iron Age, and much of this area can be found in modern-day countries such as Russia, Iran, and China, among others. Because of how far their peoples spread out, the Scythians intermixed with their neighbors, and as such there are sub-groups to the culture.

The Sarmatians were more Russian, as that’s where a large amount of their territory laid, and were absorbed into early Slavic culture. Both their and the overall Scythian language group is eastern Iranian.

In order to help you orient yourself, here’s a map from Wikipedia:

Description: Historical spread of Iranian peoples/languages: Scythia, Sarmatia, Bactria and the Parthian Empire in about 170 BC (evidently before the Yuezhi invaded Bactria). Modern political boundaries are shown to facilitate orientation.

Japanese magical culture is intrinsically tied to their religion, and as such it would be beneficial to read about Shintoism and Japanese Buddhism. The wiki for Japanese mythology is a thorough primer, though if you get stuck, then I’m sure @scriptmyth would be glad to help you on not only this culture, but others.

As for the jobs you’ve proposed - I’m going to jump right into scribes because the irony of that is it’s historically a male-dominated job, and is the progenitor of jobs such as “public servants, journalists, accountants, bookkeepers, typists, and lawyers”. It is, with even greater irony, European women that are noted in Wikipedia, and that medieval women are increasingly thought to have played an integral part in manuscript writing (New Scientist, Science Advances).

I’m not the best person to ask for medieval culture, unfortunately, so you’ll need someone more knowledgeable than me on the subject to direct you to the finer points.

The wiki for women in war links to a lot of lists, so I would suggest poking around for historical references by era (that will likely lead to by culture) to orient yourself on how women have participated in war in the past. There’s quite a bit of mythology to be found there, as well, so if you pick up some specific goddesses you get stuck on, then pop over to @scriptmyth.

Likewise, the wiki for women in government is an interesting read, as is women in positions of power. Since both are primarily modern-times oriented, I would suggest looking at the list of queens regnant for a more historical perspective. I would have difficulty giving you more than that, as you would need to pinpoint your reference cultures first.

As history often neglects women’s contributions to society if they weren’t a ruler or similarly powerful ruler - and, frankly, that frequently applied to men as well the further back you go - I’m going to toss a couple of starting points at you for the area of medicine:

Women in medicine § Ancient medicine - Wikipedia

Women in medicine - Science Museum: History of Medicine

One thing to keep in mind is that as goalposts changed for medicine - the standardization of knowledge and the need to attend a medical school to be legally allowed to perform medicine - the availability of women to participate went down.

Another is that medicine, historically, relied upon herbal medicine, and Wikipedia itself notes that there’s a heavy overlap with food history - something that’s traditionally a domain of women. This abstract by Marcia Ramos‐e‐Silva MD, PhD, talks about Saint Hildegard von Bingen, and the first page available tells you that medieval women were in charge of quite a lot despite not being allowed to participate in the male-dominated sphere of war. The Herbal Academy dips briefly into not only the saint, but other historical aspects of herbalism that might interest you.

The wiki of women in the Middle Ages, along with that of Hildegard of Bingen, nicely rounds out this particular topic.

I need to bring out the fact that Ancient Egypt was and is well-known for the equality and respect afforded to their women - in the interest of staying on subject, particularly in the field of medicine (Ancient History Encyclopedia). Isis was well-known as a goddess of healing (Wikipedia), an aspect she has in common with goddesses in many other cultures (Wikipedia). As an added side-note, Merit Ptah in her popularly-known context has been concluded to be an inflated misunderstanding - and misconstrued interpretation - of a historical figure with significant fabrication (LiveScience, Oxford).

The presence of women in medicine fluctuated in every culture, an in ancient times often shared some correlation with the use of magic (Citation 16). Healing, historically, has a high correlation with the supernatural - and if you care to look, women are usually responsible for the domain of the supernatural. (Or at least the feminine part, which was complementary and complemented by the masculine part.)

I’m going to hop back to politics real quick to bring up abbesses, particularly the social power they exercised as women heading religious orders. An article by Alixe Bovey for the British Library gives the TL;DR of medieval women and abbeys, though if you’d like something with a bit more detail, Medieval English Nunneries c. 1275 to 1535 by Eileen Edna Power is also available.

Abbeys, with their rise and fall, are important to modern American culture. Midwives, to be even more particular, have the most direct impact. In Western Europe, a midwife may under certain circumstances perform baptisms. This was a debated topic of its time, as baptisms were rituals of the Church, and the Church had strict regulations allowing only men to perform their rituals.

During the 1500s - and up to the 1800s, in some cases - midwives were defamed to be witches. You’ll notice that this corresponds to a standardization of medical knowledge, with its corresponding legal restrictions on who may practice medicine. For the Church, the politics playing behind the scenes of midwifery and female physicians fluctuated with their observations about women’s power relative to their own (Citation 16).

Malta is an excellent case study of this phenomenon (Citation 17), and encapsulates the movement of witchcraft accusations that took place throughout this period - something historians noted as corresponding to the rise of Protestantism (ThoughtCo). There’s some debate that the increasing orientation to wages in contemporary economy facilitated this adverse behaviour against women, as well as various other social pressures as politically mitigated by the Catholic Church (Wikipedia).

As the practice of medicine was segregated according to sex - male patients to male physicians, female patients to female physicians - there were proportionally fewer men in trades such as midwifery than women despite the medieval shift toward male encroachment of territory (Wikipedia). This corresponding money- and thus male-oriented intrusion into the female sphere of medicine can be seen with the invention of the obstetric forceps (JSTOR). The rising culture of appropriation constituted the witchcraft trials that, incidentally, influenced American culture during their colonization years.

A pertinent name to remember for American history of the witchcraft trials is Margaret Jones, a Puritan midwife and the first person to be accused of witchcraft in the trails taking place in the Massachusetts Bay Colony (Wikipedia).

The Salem Witch Trials, as an offhand note, could well be an anomaly due to ergotism (Citation 18).

One thing I’m willing to bend on - a little bit - is manual labor, but mostly because you’re describing something very similar to what’s already been invented: corvée labor. There’s plenty of other forms depending on what culture you’re going for, though unlike what you’re proposing, does not necessarily imply the direct and permanent subjugation of people.

I will absolutely quibble with the idea of “uneducated” labor equating to “less valuable” labor - universities offer non-vocational degrees, typically in the areas of research and/or religion, and guilds were created as a means of quality control (that unfortunately got out of hand and committed crimes such as rent-seeking). Women in guilds were a thing, vulnerable to the same fluctuations as their other occupations outside the house.

If we are defining “uneducated” labour as “menial” labour, then this set of occupations inherently varies by culture, as does its relative weight of importance. One example of this would be writing; it may be menial but important, whereas holding negotiations could be a “major” role but wouldn’t exist without the support of workers “less than” them.

Correspondingly, gender divisions may not necessarily mean an assignation of “lesser” or “greater” when compared against each other. In medieval Europe, at least, the creation of textiles was split along the general lines of spinning and weaving. Women held the former (hence “spinster”), and men held the latter. Spinning was often not formalized into guilds then, but it was an important cornerstone of the economy that could support entire families. A guest post on The Freelance History Writer’s blog seems to indicate that this gender division was due to influence by the Bible, which seems to corroborate with the history of both professions as detailed on Wikipedia - the further back we go, and also the less connected to Christianity, the more textile work women presided over. This granted them greater control over their presence in society, since the selling of textiles was useful leverage to support themselves and others.

A similar discrepancy can be found with agriculture. Hamer women in Ethiopia are traditionally the one to cultivate sorghum, a cornerstone crop to their diet, and they exhibit preferences in which varieties they grow according to criteria such as which is easiest to grind and long-term storage feasibility (Citation 19). Accordingly, there’s been an increasing orientation around the growing of crops rather than the pastoralist habits of their men, with trading standards occuring at one goat for one Dore (“pile of maize or sorghum”) (Citation 19).

A study examining the male sphere of hunting within a society discusses the various cultural implications of defendable vs non-defendable meat sharing, with respect to how the meat is distributed and its corresponding social range (e.g. immediate social circle vs entire community), something I find interesting given that the kilocalories obtained from meat is roughly equal to that of the female sphere-acquired agriculture/gathering (Citation 20). The division of labour along gender lines when it comes to food flow in a community seems, historically, to be both comparable and compatible to each other - a recurring theme with many of the topics I’ve already covered.

Gender roles in their historical perspective - especially the further back you go - are often complimentary to each other, and are an economical way to divide up the burden of maintaining a society to a functional level. There are plenty of exceptions to this (see: third genders), as well, and many cultures exhibit the idea that a productive person is good for society; their roles may look a little different from the person next to them, and not only is the work considered equal in terms of importance, but also with a bit of poking around, you’ll find that few cultures have harsh punishments for anyone “stepping outside” their predicted roles.

Men are already objectified plenty. That their treatment by society looks different than women’s, or other genders, is by no means an excuse to sweep things under the room and pretend that they have it best - or worse, purposefully ostracize them in a fictional work to further mock, ridicule, and isolate them. This contributes to the societal issues in your culture that you wish to address, and stems from a uniquely pervasive perspective from modern American culture that differs from many other cultures in the world.

TL;DR - The way you wish to objectify men is already being done, especially in American culture. It is harmful, and will have an impact that will reach further than you might anticipate. This approach is counterproductive to your goals, and the cultures/media you cite either directly contradict your beliefs of said sources or otherwise undermine your beliefs. It is vastly more productive to take a deeper look at the origins of the issues you wish to address in your writing, as well as the reference material that you wish to use. Learning perspectives outside your native culture will benefit you immensely, and the results could surprise you.

Citations

Citation 1 -  PDF - Doepke, M., Tertilt, M., Voena, A.. (2012). “The Economics and Politics of Women’s Rights,” Annual Review of Economics, Annual Reviews, vol. 4(1), pages 339-372, 07.

Citation 2 - PDF - Fernández, R.. (2014). “Women’s rights and development,” Journal of Economic Growth, vol 19(1), pages 37-80.

Citation 3 - PDF -  Duflo, E. (2012). “Women’s Empowerment and Economic Development”, Journal of Economic Literature, Vol. 50, No. 4: 1051-79.

Citation 4 - PDF - Crenshaw J. T. (2014). “Healthy Birth Practice #6: Keep Mother and Baby Together- It’s Best for Mother, Baby, and Breastfeeding.” The Journal of perinatal education, 23(4), 211–217. doi:10.1891/1058-1243.23.4.211

Citation 5 - Faisal-Cury, A., Bertazzi Levy, R., Kontos, A., Tabb, K., & Matijasevich, A. (2019). “Postpartum bonding at the beginning of the second year of child’s life: the role of postpartum depression and early bonding impairment.” Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology, 1-7.

Citation 6 - PDF - Bornstein, M. H., Putnick, D. L., Rigo, P., Esposito, G., Swain, J. E., Suwalsky, J. T., … & De Pisapia, N. (2017). “Neurobiology of culturally common maternal responses to infant cry.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 114(45), E9465-E9473.

Citation 7 - PDF - Webb, A. R., Heller, H. T., Benson, C. B., & Lahav, A. (2015). “Mother’s voice and heartbeat sounds elicit auditory plasticity in the human brain before full gestation.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 112(10), 3152-3157.

Citation 8 - PDF - Pan, Y., Zhang, D., Liu, Y., Ran, G., & Teng, Z. (2016). “Different effects of paternal and maternal attachment on psychological health among Chinese secondary school students.” Journal of Child and Family Studies, 25(10), 2998-3008.

Citation 9 - PDF - Brown, G. L., Mangelsdorf, S. C., & Neff, C. (2012). “Father involvement, paternal sensitivity, and father-child attachment security in the first 3 years.” Journal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43), 26(3), 421–430. doi:10.1037/a0027836

Citation 10 - PDF - Lee T Gettler, Mallika S Sarma, Rieti G Gengo, Rahul C Oka, James J McKenna, Adiposity, CVD risk factors and testosterone: Variation by partnering status and residence with children in US men, Evolution, Medicine, and Public Health, Volume 2017, Issue 1, January 2017, Pages 67–80, https://doi.org/10.1093/emph/eox005

Citation 11 - PDF - Snowdon, C. T., & Ziegler, T. E. (2015). “Variation in prolactin is related to variation in sexual behavior and contact affiliation.” PloS one, 10(3), e0120650.

Citation 12 - Hashemian, F., Shafigh, F., & Roohi, E. (2016). “Regulatory role of prolactin in paternal behavior in male parents: A narrative review.” Journal of postgraduate medicine, 62(3), 182–187. doi:10.4103/0022-3859.186389

Citation 13 - PDF - Eddy, B., Poll, V., Whiting, J., & Clevesy, M. (2019). “Forgotten Fathers: Postpartum Depression in Men.” Journal of Family Issues, 40(8), 1001-1017.

Citation 14 - PDF - Psouni, E., Agebjörn, J., & Linder, H. (2017). “Symptoms of depression in Swedish fathers in the postnatal period and development of a screening tool.” Scandinavian journal of psychology, 58(6), 485-496.

Citation 15 - Pappas, S. (2018, January). “APA issues first-ever guidelines for practice with men and boys.” Monitor on Psychology, 50(1).

Citation 16 - PDF - Kontoyannis, M., & Katsetos, C. (2011). “Midwives in early modern Europe (1400-1800).” Health Science Journal, 5(1), 31.

Citation 17 - PDF - Savona-Ventura, C. (1995). “The influence of the Roman Catholic Church on midwifery practice in Malta.” Medical history, 39(1), 18-34.

Citation 18 - PDF - Woolf, Alan. (2000). “Witchcraft or Mycotoxin? The Salem Witch Trials. Journal of toxicology.” Clinical toxicology. 38. 457-60. 10.1081/CLT-100100958.

Citation 19 - PDF - Samuel, T. (2013). “From cattle herding to sedentary agriculture: the role of hamer women in the transition.” African Study Monographs, Suppl. 46: 121–133. [Alternate PDF link]

Citation 20 - PDF - Gurven, Michael & Hill, Kim. (2009). “Why Do Men Hunt?.” Current Anthropology. 50. 51-74. 10.1086/595620.

Further Reading

Harry S Truman § Domestic Affairs - Wikipedia

Marshall Plan - Wikipedia

Interstate Highway System - Wikipedia

Medieval Icelandic Law (The Grágás) – Women’s Rights: On Reclaiming Property during Separation. By @fjorn-the-skald

Fjörn’s Library

“Notes on Valkyries and the like?” by @fjorn-the-skald

Fjörn’s chronological tag on women

Epigenetic correlates of neonatal contact in humans - Development and Psychopathology

Feral: So, obviously, everything Tex just said- round of effing applause!

I do want to hone in on one specific part of your ask, “since part of my goal is to use the swap to highlight some inequalities that still exist in our gender expectations today by flipping them” and direct you to this blog post on Mythcreants specifically addressing the Persecution Flip Story and why it’s not a great idea from a social justice perspective.

Happy reading!

[rebelcourtesan]

My D&D Build for Wolf

Tough, strong, and no nonsense, Wolf has survived in post-apocalyptic world on her own since she was a young age.  Raised by wolves, she knows how to fight fiercely like one with her trusty weapon she lovingly calls Stalky.  For a time, Wolf was the main fighter of the group until Kipo comes into her own as part Mute.  

 Long Post Below

***Stats***

Dexterity: Highest stat.  After watching Wolf in action, I’m going to say that her dexterity is her number one stat as she avoids getting hit long enough to deliver a devastating blow.  Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to increase her Strength which leads us to . . .

Strength:  Second Highest.  Wolf is pretty strong for her size, but will break skulls with Stalky.  

Wisdom: Third Highest.  Wolf is street wise or apocalyptic wise to the dangers of the surface world.  She can see danger coming and knows how to avoid or deal with it one way or another.      

Constitution:  Fourth Highest.  This girl has survived for a long time despite the odds against and also, she handles a still poison scorpion stinger so she must have develop some resistance to it. 

Charisma:  Fifth Highest.  Low because Wolf doesn’t easily open up to others though she does warm up to Kipo eventually.  

Intelligence:  Dump Stat.  Wolf has trouble understanding the purposes of modern items of the pre-apocalyptic world. 

For her race we’re going with Variant Human.  Put her two ability score points into Dexterity and Strength. 

For the Feat: Choose Alert since Wolf is always on the lookout for danger.  Wolf cannot be surprised unless she’s unconscious and she gets +5 to her initiative roll.  Also, hidden enemies cannot get advantage on attack rolls on her.  

For Skill: Choose Acrobatics.  Wolf is pretty nimble.

We’re going start off in Fighter for this build.

***Fighter Level 1***

For skills choose Survival as Wolf has had to take care of herself in the wilderness and post-apocalypse cities.  And choose Perception as Wolf is always on the look out for danger and notices things the group fails to see.

Weapon:  This took some thought and since Wolf mostly uses Stalky as a bludgeoning weapon so use the states for a Maul, or you can use a Pike for piercing damage.  You can talk to you DM about  giving you the option to use piercing with a sleep poison that the target would need to make a saving throw against.  

Fighting Style:  The best one for Wolf would be Great Weapon Fighting.  When Wolf fights with a two handed weapon (Stalky), she can reroll any 1 or 2 on the damage die and take the second result.  

Wolf also gets Second Wind which will let Wolf to heal herself for 1d10 + Fighter level per short or long rest.              

***Fighter Level 2***

Wolf gets Action Surge which will allow her to take another action on top of her action and bonus action.  Can be done once after a short or long rest.

***Fighter Level 3***

For Martial Archetype, we’re going with Monster Hunter (UA).  Wolf has grown up fighting mutes for most of her life.  Which gives her Superiority Dice.  

She gets 4 1d8 dice that she can use to make her attacks deal more damage and gives her an edge to determine potential dangerous situations.  She regains all the dice back after a short or long rest.

She can spend a dice to add a 1d8 to:

Precision Attack: For an weapon attack, she can add a 1d8 to an attack roll before or after she rolls it, 

Sharpened Attack. When she lands a hit with a weapon attack, she can add a 1d8 to the damage.  If the attacks forces the target to make a Constitution saving throw to maintain concentration on a spell or ability saving throw, it must roll at disadvantage.  

Sharpened Senses: When Wolf rolls Perception to find a creature or hidden object or Insight to determine if someone is lying, she can add a 1d8 to the roll.  Can be added after the roll, but must be applied before determining if the check succeeded or not.  

Superior Willpower: Wolf can add a 1d8 to a Intelligence, Wisdom, or Charisma saving through.  Like when she saw through Tad Mulholland’s illusion.  

She also gets two additional skills for proficiency bonus.  Select Nature and Insight.        

On top of all of this, she can use two spells.  As a Ritual, she can cast Detect Magic to see magical auras and after a short or long rest, she can cast Protection from Good or Evil.  I know she never casts spells in the show, but these are useful additions if the need should arise.  

***Fighter Level 4***

Ability Score Improvement:  Usually, I would be telling you to max out her main Ability Scores, but in this case I’m going to recommend a Feat instead.

Great Weapon Master:  Whenever she scores a critical hit with a melee weapon or reduces a creature to 0 hit points from an attack, she can use her bonus action to perform another melee weapon attack! 

Also, she can take a -5 to her attack roll to deal additional +10 points of damage!

Wolf is fast, dealing multiple attacks to overwhelm her enemies.  Anyone you can take an additional attack works for her.

***Fighter Level 5***

Extra Attack:  Wolf can now perform 2 attacks when she takes the attack action!  Even better when coupled with Great Weapon Master feat.

***Fighter Level 6***

Ability Score Improvement: Okay, this time start maxing out Dexterity.

***Fighter Level 7***  

Monster Slayer: Wolf can spend two Superiority Dice instead of just one.

***Fighter Level 8***  

Ability Score Improvement: This time max Dexterity.  If it’s already maxed out, put the points into Strength.

***Fighter Level 9***

Indomitable: Once per long rest, Wolf can reroll a failed save, but must take the second roll.  It’ll help in seeing through false fantasies and illusions brought on by water mutes.

***Fighter Level 10***

With Improved Combat Superiority Wolf’s superiority dice are now 1d10s allowing her to hit more often and deal more damage.  Not to mention overcoming any mind manipulation.

Now we’re going to dip into Ranger (UA).  I considered going full Fighter, but Wolf has been surviving on her own for years which means finding her own food and mapping out territories.  Not to mention she fights mutes on a daily basis.  

***Ranger Level 1***

For Wolf’s Favored Enemy since there’s no mutes int the game (unless you DM is coming up with a special homebrewed setting) select monstrosities.  Wolf gets a +2 to damage on weapon attacks on favored enemy.  Also she gets advantage on Survival checks to track or recall information about them.  Wolf knew where the Mod Frogs were and how to negotiate with them.  She also new about Newton Wolves and other mutes.  

Also, she’s a Natural Explorer - she can ignore difficult terrain, advantage on initiative rolls, on her first turn in combat, she has advantage on attack rolls against enemies who haven’t acted yet.

She also function as the group’s guide.  The party isn’t slowed by difficult terrain and cannot be lost except by magical means.  Also, Wolf gains twice as much food when she forages.  When she’s tracking creatures, she can determine thier group number, size, and how long ago they had pass through the area.

***Fighter Level 11***  

Extra Attack (x2):  Wolf not gets two extra attacks.  Meaning she can take THREE attacks per attack action.  Potentially four with Great Weapon Master, if she crits or reduces a creature to 0 hit points and uses her bonus action to attack.  Not to mention if she uses an Action Surge to attack, that’s five attacks in one turn!

***Fighter Level 12***

Ability Score Improvement:  If Dexterity is maxed out, put points into Strength. 

***Fighter Level 13***

Wolf now has two uses of Indomitable per long rest.

***Fighter Level 14***

Ability Score Improvement: Max out Strength.  If it’s already maxed out by now put the extra points into Wisdom or round out your odd number ability scores.

***Fighter Level 15***

Relentless: Wolf is a tough fighter.  When she starts combat with no Superiority Dice, she automatically regains one! 

***Fighter Level 16***

Ability Score Improvement:  Max out Strength and/or round out odd number ability scores. 

***Fighter Level 17***

Wolf is not to be underestimated.  She now gets two Action Surges per short and long rest and three Indomitable rerolls per long rest.  

***Fighter Level 18***

Improved Combat Superiority: Wolf’s Superiority Dice are now 1d12s.  She’s more efficient in serious battles and a force to be reckoned with.

***Fighter Level 19***

Ability Score Improvement:  Dexterity and Strength should be maxed out by now.  If all the other points are rounded out, put these last two points into Wisdom.

There you have it.  Wolf from Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts.  

With a high Dexterity, she’s fast and hard to hit in combat while able to deliver several blows per round.  With Superiority Dice to help out in a pinch, she’s scrappy and tough enough to deal the final blow.  Also, she’s resistant against mutes with mind control powers.  With the level in Ranger, she can lead the group to safety while navigating dangerous territory.

The only downside would be that her Hit Points might be a little low, but if she’s hard to hit, then she shouldn’t take damage that often.  However, having a healer to back her up in combat wouldn’t hurt or give her a certain partner or Best Friend.

Next up is Kipo herself!

[annakie]

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Four

Wherein we make it to the Citadel, and do a lot of running around.

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

So right away, we meet Udina and the Council, way to throw us right into it.  

It’s a brief introduction and gives us an idea what Humanity is up against and who is representing us.  Basically, we’re supposed to get the idea that it’s a lot of bureaucratic bullshit, I guess.

This is also the first time we see Asari and Salarians, and they’re in reddish-brown and white, which really isn’t the best look.

Bioware continues to push the story forward.  We get enough to know that Udina is kind of an ass, and the Council isn’t going to just trust what some guy says even if he is the representative for billions of people.

And finally, after this, we’re set free.

The Citadel I think is one of the coolest locations in like almost any game I’ve ever played.  They do a great job of both making it feel huge, but also accessible.  Enough bridges to get across to places you need to get to, and after you walk somewhere once, Citadel Rapid Transit is great.  I still choose to take elevators about 80% of the time even when I can CRT somewhere, just because I like the squad conversations and news updates. There’s a shorter elevator rides mod that helps, too.

There’s so much to do and see, and having one of the main areas just be such an awesome combination of scifi futurism and lush greenery + water is both trippy and breathtaking.  I think, especially with the updated graphics mods/settings, the Presidium especially holds up fairly well.  I mean it definitely feels more populated and modern in ME3 but, I just consider this to be more of a residential / professional area of the Presidium and most of what we see in ME3 is a more retail section.

It’d be annoying to be a groundskeeper here, though.  Lots of green areas that you’d really need to climb to, or garden on a steep slant. :p

I always found it interesting that the natural first place to head to is into the ambassador’s office next door, where we find some friendly aliens, and one not-so-friendly one.  But honestly, this is a great place to find out the different ways other species view humanity, and how there’s apparently tiers of respect given to various species.

I always kind of hoped the Elcor would feature more prominently into the world in future games, but at least we got Hamlet.  I have SO MANY QUESTIONS about how Elcor like... do things?  We never see it but you have to assume that their hands have opposable thumbs and they’re able to stand on two legs, right?  I want to see what an Elcor ship looks like and Dakuna specifically.  Give us more elcor, Bioware!

BTW, the Mass Effect: Annihilation (aka the book that was supposed to be based on the Quarian Ark DLC that never happened in Andromeda) is totally worth reading just for the elcor character in it.  It’s also probably the best of the Mass Effect books, in my opinion.

Din Korlack’s got a point though, they not only have to share an office, but their view isn’t nearly as good as the human’s.  This is especially bullshit for the volus, who could stand on that railing and probably STILL wouldn’t have a view.

I love how Mass Effect 2 takes her from a completely forgettable character to making me think  “Sorry you’re gonna die in a few weeks, your mom’s really gonna miss you.” every time I see her.

PALIN DESERVED BETTER.

I don’t remember which ME3 mod it is, maybe the Spectre Expansion Mod or maybe EGM, but thank you whichever modder it was who made Palin’s story and death more clear in ME3.  Sorry Udina got you killed.

Also, it was good to get a dissenting opinion on Spectres from him.

Avina is such a good, optional way to get more loredump.  Yes, you can again ask them about Spectres if you want to hear about them again.  But I liked that each Avina terminal taught you a little more about whatever you were nearby, and the state of the galaxy in general and since they were programmed to be information dumps, it felt more natural to get information this way.

Don’t these people have jobs?

I love the Krogan statue, and the Avina terminal nearby telling you about it.  But now every time I see it, all I can picture is Grunt and his buddies climbing it.  So good.

Managed to get a clean shot of the crew without the UI in the elevator, thanks Flycam!  You have about a half a second to get this shot though, because the camera is stationary while the elevator is not.

Oh hell-lo Pailin, who is your charming-looking friend there?

This entire conversation needs to be longer. It’s a nice, quick introduction to Garrus, but, well, let’s spend a little more time with the main characters!!

I mean how can you not just not immediately love that?  Hey remember how bad Garrus’ face texture used to be?  Thanks, modders.

I just really love the Citadel tower.  Absolutely beautiful and atmospheric.

SO the thing is, if you can pretend that Saren isn’t, you know, already half Reaperized, 100% the Council is right to not just go throwing one of their longer-term agents in jail because Shepard had a bad dream and a random dockworker said the guy who killed Saren looked like this.

Honestly though, this and OH A GOOD CHUNK OF MASS EFFECT 2 would be so much easier if Shepard wore a bodycam. :p

Also, I wonder who took the dockworker’s testimony?  Did Kaidan run back real quick while Shepard was sleeping?

This was an embarrassment for humanity, and I agree with Udina that we needed more to go on before making demands of the council.  The council is right to not convict based off a bad dream Shepard had.  Go get some real proof!  Also, do a bunch of sidequests!

And scan some Keepers for this shady guy!

Which is actually good quest design, because you really have to go to every nook and cranny in the Citadel to find them all, though it would have been nice if they showed up on the minimap.   Really gets you to explore and get to know the area like the back of your hand.

This time around, I forgot to grab the one outside Dr. Michele’s office and had to hunt for it before heading up to grab the last one at the docks.

Thank you, though, Barla Von, for telling us all about the Shadow Broker and telling us about Wrex.  See u in ME3.

Bioware please give us diverse-suited volus in a remaster.  Maybe I’m reusing a pic of Din Korlack, you’ll never know! :p

Thanks, texture modders, for really highlighting what the end of the hanar’s noses look like. 

The hanar are another species I wish we got more of throughout the series.  They are probably the most alien of all the aliens we interact with.   I mean, at least we got Blasto.  I’d really love to visit Kahje someday.  I know it’s in the comics, but you know, in-game.

Annnd let’s go visit Sha'ira.

I have very mixed feelings about Sha'ira.  On one hand, she’s clearly very respected, is probably making bank, in control of her own destiny etc.  On the other hand, she’s probably the asari we have the second most interaction with in this game after Liara, and after just seeing Benezia’s boob-tastic clothing and then heading to Chora’s Den soon to see the dancing asari we’re getting a very slanted view of the species.  I think Bioware course corrects in later games but oof this is such a dude-fantasy alien species in ME1 it hurts.  Especially since Liara is almost a born-sexy-yesterday trope.

Also... don’t touch me if I don’t wanna be touched. =\

Noveria advertisements... that just say Noveria.  I guess this is effective marketing in 2148.

Look how great those shadows from the tree are... actual definition in shadow... wow.

Raise your hand if you’ve missed this conversation in a playthrough before and reloaded like an hour or more past to make sure you get it.

It’s one of those little moments that they didn’t have to put in.  Just a little conversation reflecting on humans and humanity, and our place in the world, and showcasing Ash’s wit and Kaidan’s adorkableness.  Also making sure you appreciate all the work that went into this particular view.  It’s a pause in the action and all the things you have going on, and it’s so great for characterization and making you feel a part of the world.  

Speaking of the view... I decided to flycam it.  Warning, I spoil some of the “magic” below.

Pretty quickly, you see that the arms are actual objects, untextured on the non-visible side.

I decided to head for the closest line of “cars” on the bottom center-left to see what those “cars” looked like.

Flycam feels pretty fast when you’re trying to frame a specific shot just right... but when you need to travel a great distance, it feels verrry slow.

It took me probably close to five minutes of traveling to make it all the way there.

What I discovered was... a few of the buildings are real, the rest are a very good painting.

This is how far away the citadel is from the rest of the map. That grid would be that entire view from outside Dr. Michele’s office all the way to the edge of the shops on the other side, plus some extra.

So both the building that those “cars” (the string of white lights) are coming from and going to are... on the painting.  Neither one are physical objects.

Made some gifs.

You can see the lights moving at a mostly-downward angle, while it looks like they’re just heading south when standing on the Citadel.  Also you can see other lights moving farther up the map.

And here you can see the lights “disappearing behind a building” but they’re really just hitting an invisible wall, the dark angle of that building is just a part of the wall painting.   

Looking up from the wall...

So that was a fun distraction.

Emily Wong deserved:

Better.

An entire shirt.

A mention in ME3 after she gave her life on social media defending Earth against the reapers while keeping her cool reporting on the invasion the day before ME3′s release.

That day before launch though... was amazing.  Bioware did such a great job on social media with the reaper invasion happening on twitter.  I loved that lots of fans got into it, too, posting photoshops and their own reaper invasion stories.  I remember being at work that day but not actually working very much.  A few friends and I had a google hangout going on to report in on anything we saw happening on social media and keep up with it and to be very hyped together online.  

We reblogged a bunch of it on fuckyeahbioware starting about here and working backwards through numbers.  

One of the ME3 mods, and again, sorry, don’t remember which, does give Emily a nice tribute through an email.  She deserves it.

Okay that’s enough for this post!  Will try to finish up the Citadel next time!

[crazynekochan]

Omegaverse Fantasy/Steampunk-ish AU: Kazuichi, Hajime, Mikan, Chiaki, Nekomaru, Imposter, Sonia, Fuyuhiko, Mahiru, and Teruteru are all working/travelling on a newly built flying passenger ship as part of the ship’s maiden voyage over a mostly uncharted continent to get to a major city on the other side because Sonia, Imposter, and Fuyuhiko are working as diplomats and Mahiru is a reporter recording everything for her readers (despite being the designer of the ship, Kazuichi is just /suffering/ here and spending most of the journey below deck, whimpering in misery whenever the ship hits turbulence).

While the ship is going through a patch of storm, it suddenly gets hit with a massive surge of lightning and crashes into the forest below, miraculously leaving all the crew unharmed (albeit scattered into groups of 1 or 2 around the landing site and all unconscious) and the ship fully functional with the exception of all the fuel (magical crystals that conducted electricity through them to operate the ship) being either spent or rendered non-functional.

They all wake up in a big old temple, all tied to each other in a circle, with Hajime, Kazuichi, and Fuyuhiko in the front, facing the back of the hall. At the front of the room, a group of young people in old-fashioned clothes are arguing with an elder in slightly more modern clothes in a language that no one understands, not even Sonia, but they can all tell that the argument is referring to them and the elder does not look very happy.

The group of young people are Nagito, Gundham, Ibuki, Hiyoko, Peko, Kyoko, and Akane, who were heading into the temple near the forest to do a “find your true love” ceremony when they heard a huge crash just a few minutes away from them. They all ran to check and found the ship crashed into a clearing with everyone on board unconscious and either still in the ship or scattered around. The group brought them to the temple to ask the elder, Jin, what they should do about them, since the last time newcomers came was when a young Jin and his baby daughter Kyoko ended up lost in the jungle on an expedition.

Everyone but Akane and Hiyoko has already fallen in love with one of the castaways (Ibuki fell in love with both Chiaki and Mikan) and they think that this is a sign that they should keep them as gifts from the gods. Jin is much more cautious since these people just crash landed and they could be confused and violent and he’s really grown to get attached to these kids (they’re all functional exiles from the main tribes either because of magical abilities (Gundham and Ibuki), odd appearances that suggest malicious witchcraft (Hiyoko and Peko), issues with their family debts (Akane and her many sibilings), perceived cursed nature (Nagito) or not being from any of the tribes in the area (the Kirigiris)) and doesn’t want them hurt.

Kyoko notices that the group is all awake and let’s the arguers know, which stops the argument for the time being. Jin tells the crash group everything that they need to know (the crash and discovery, why they’re all tied up, where they are (a forest near the coast of the uncharted continent), etc.). When Kazuichi asks about how their ship is, since they need to fix it to continue their journey or at least to get to civilization, Jin decides to have them all taken to the crash site, with the natives keeping an eye on them (everyone with a crush is mostly using it as an excuse to stay near their crushes) so Kazuichi could inspect it himself.

Kazuichi declares the ship pretty much functional but almost completely useless except for shelter and the remaining food and medicine because all of the fuel is just gone, which makes everyone who crashed upset.

Jin offers to let them all stay at their mini-village for the time being, since they can’t get back to their regular lives right away. After some deliberation, they all accept but not before removing all their stuff from the ship because Kazuichi’s not super sure that it won’t explode or start leaking noxious fumes from the destroyed fuel crystals.

The castaways end up spending about 13 months in the village, learning about everyone in the exiled youth village and their larger civilization (It started from a travelling group that split off from the standard civilization about 800 years before. Their culture has so much nuance and brilliant architecture and art, it’s amazing) and teaching the village about their civilization and technology in return, once Jin manages to teach them enough of the native language to not have to communicate solely through hand gestures and facial expressions.

Along the way, people end up falling in love and become mates, the first being Kazuichi and Gundham, once Kazuichi managed to find out that Gundham was trying to awkwardly court him (which he didn’t realize due to obliviousness and cutural differences), who had a lovely mating ceremony where everyone attended, Nekomaru and Fuyuhiko cried (Fuyu cried a little, Nekomaru cried a lot) during it, and Akane and her siblings had to be bribed in the reception feast by Teruteru to not interrupt the ceremony with commentary.

Meanwhile, everyone who knew the castaways is absolutely freaking the hell out (a princess and some of the most brilliant minds of a generation were all on that ship) and searching for them like mad, with Izuru leading the head search party, which included some of the friends and family if the castaways to at least get some closure if nothing else. Their efforts were mostly fruitless until they finally find the crashed ship with Kazuichi and Gundham inside because Kaz still wants to keep the best invention of his life in tip top shape. After some very enthusiastic reunions when Kazuichi and Gundham take the search party back to the village and most of the castaways meet their friends and families for the first time in months, Izuru investigates just how the ship crashed, since Kazuichi couldn’t find anything even after 13 months and those fuel crystals were supposed to outlast the ship itself. Izuru uses some of his magic to trace back whether the malfunction was magical in nature (Kazuichi can’t use magic, so he wouldn’t know if it had something to do with magic and Gundham doesn’t trust technology) and immediately gets hit with a force of malice and most importantly Despair and recognizes it as Junko Enoshima. Junko, a manipulative sorceress, wanted to drive the world into despair by killing off some of the greatest minds of the generation and maybe start a few wars while she’s at it by blaming rival countries for shooting down the crown princess and a few other diplomats from two wealthy kingdoms. But the spell didn’t wreck the ship or kill anyone, just wrecked their fuel and left them stranded.

After making a solemn vow to get rid of Junko when they get back to civilization for trying to kill his brother, Izuru gets a bunch of spare fuel crystals from the search party’s supply and helps Kazuichi reinstall them into the engine, bringing the ship back to fully operational, which is great because the search party has been in this jungle for around a year at this point and they are really getting homesick.

Everyone, including the villagers, who all decide to come along, all pack up their things and arrive to the ship’s original destination much to the surprise of everyone who thought they were dead and they pretty much became famous for discovering an entire civilization, with Mahiru’s pictures and Jin’s story giving an excellent look into the culture and lifestyles of the people living there. And yes, the villagers all experience life in the ‘modern’ day, with some definite and absolutely hilarious culture shocks that are mediated through having a bunch of friends who can navigate through it, even after being missing for over a year. And yes, Izuru did get rid of Junko.

(A/N: I should really be studying but forget it, I needed to write this before I forget about it. Please leave some feedback!)

(Mod: I hope your studying is going well ♥

Omegaverse, steampunk and fantasy in one, I have to be in heaven because these are my three top favourite AUs/tropes of all time ♥

I feel so sorry for Kazuichi. He build that airship and has to probably sometimes check if everything is working as intended but the poor guy would feel so sick on a constant basis and simply be in hell instead of enjoying the marvel of his groundbreaking invention

The terror everyone felt when the ship suddenly got struck by lightning and causing them to fall out of the sky and to crash into the middle of nowhere must have been pure horror for them all. When they then also wake up alive, but realise they are tied up in a temple and surrounded by some people in strange clothing things couldn’t get any worse. They survived a crash landing to presumably be tortured to death in some temple by some ancient tribe. Since no one can speak their language it’s also impossible to reason with them. But most of them couldn’t deny that they at least looked good, but doesn’t make the possibility of death much better. Luckily Jin can actually speak Japanese and so everything is quickly solved

The “modern” group probably had a lot of fun in the middle of a gigantic forest because of all the wildlife and dangerous nature around them ^^” All of them grew up in towns and cities and at the max only saw a small forest which is nothing against this. They probably had to have one of the natives always accompany them before any of them got lost or ends up seriously harming themselves. Also I could imagine that Kaz would for his life never understand how Gundham could look at a deadly animal that happens to cross their path and decide that this is his newest pet. Btw nothing better than Kaz being an oblivious idiot in love

Also I love the backstory that you came up with for the tribe members, giving everyone a different yet believable reason as for why they are in their current mismatched tribe

I can just imagine how Izuru is in the meanwhile taking every part of the continent apart together with the royal family and the other big name families, while their missing relatives are happily courting and mating some native tribe members in the middle of nowhere. Izuru would also stomp everyone who even dares to suggest that his twin is probably dead into the ground without mercy because there is no way that Hajime died. I could also imagine that his stoic face completely broke when he actually found Hajime safe and sound after searching for him for over a year. Like just imagine how sweet it would be that Izuru actually is brought to tears from relieve to finally seeing his twin again and just hugging him

At least until he notices that Hajime’s scent changed and that he has a mating mark on the back of his neck, because then he would glare at Nagito who’s scent matches the one sticking to his twins whole body. Luckily Hajime would quickly calm his twin that everything is consensual and that he and Nagito are willingly mated because they love each other)

[sophygurl]

WisCon 43 panel Antisemitism at WisCon

   Over the course of its existence, there have been many examples of antisemitism at WisCon—a trend often echoed in other leftist spaces, where microaggressions to naked hostility to just plain erasure keep occurring. Let's talk about why this continues to happen, why it's so rarely talked about, and what we can do to prevent it.

Moderator: Becky Allen. Panelists: Gerri Balter, Paul Goodman, Jessica Plummer

Disclaimers: These are only the notes I was personally able to jot down on paper during the panel. I absolutely did not get everything, and may even have some things wrong. Corrections by panelists or other audience members always welcome. I name the mod and panelists because they are publicly listed, but will remove/change names if asked. I do not name audience members unless specifically asked by them to be named. If I mix up a pronoun or name spelling or anything else, please tell me and I’ll fix it!

[Quick Notes: 1) This panel was created in large part (though not exclusively) due to a panel that I also attended last year and wrote my notes up about - which can be found here for my tumblr post and here for my DW post - each having their own replies/comments for anyone who wants to see those. The panel last year, called The Desire for Killable Bodies, went sideways when one of the panelists started spouting nazi apologism and other awful things. There’s a context for all of this, which is why I’m linking to my panel write-ups as they served as a space for others to share what they heard and experienced so that you can understand this context and also understand that this wasn’t just a couple of people upset - there was a large audience for this panel and lots and lots of us were upset, and lots of us made reports to the concom, and there is a consensus about what happened. 2) I add all of this because the panel I’m about to write up also had a disturbance in regards to what happened last year and I want to make sure there is full context for what happened with That, as well. 3) Also of note: I had to edit out the tags “nazis” and “antisemitism” for my linked post to appear in my own tags on my own tumblr blog so fuck that noise. I’m getting angrier and angrier about tumblr’s tagging rules - we should be able to tag shit like that for content warnings for fuck’s sake. Anyway, on to the actual write-up. 4) Well, one last note - the panel is, obviously, talking about incidents of experienced antisemitism at both WisCon and in other leftist spaces and it was hard for me, who is not Jewish, to take that all in. So be prepared that this is a difficult, but very important, conversation about to be reported on.]

Notes:

Becky began the panel by saying she was both sad and glad to be doing this. Everyone on this panel is Jewish, and everyone on the panel has experienced antisemitic microaggressions here at WisCon at some point or another.

Jessica said the incident last year was the most extreme one, but certainly not the first.

Paul introduced himself as a lawyer for public policy at a non-profit and said that he has experienced antisemitism here and in every progressive space he’s ever been in.

Gerri introduced herself saying that she is 74 years old and that she has experienced antisemitism her whole life. Her parents escaped the Ukraine after WWI and she grew up hearing horror stories.

Becky gave some background on what happened at the Killable Bodies panel last year. She added that safety did a good job at handling things after it all happened. 

Jessica added that she proposed this panel due to what happened at that panel.

At this point, someone in the audience popped in, asking if we were going to talk about the specifics of that panel and arguing about what was really said. It was clear that this person was friends with the panelist who said the offending comments last year and he was defending her and arguing with the panelists about their own experiences at that panel. Both Jessica and Becky worked to shut him down, and I noticed several folks in the audience standing up and getting ready to escort this person out if necessary. Becky finally said that if he kept on, he would have to leave - or he could be quiet and remain and listen. He chose to remain quiet, and remained so for the duration (at least to my knowledge - he was seated a bit away from me, but I didn’t hear any more interruptions, at least). 

Jessica went back to explaining about how she proposed this panel. She was worried there might not be enough people to be on the panel - some of the people she approached had said maybe, to go ahead and suggest the panel and put them on as possibilities. 

[As a side note - there are a couple of ways of staffing a panel like this. One, which is what Jessica did, is to suggest some possible panelists and programming can see about adding them to the list but other people can still volunteer to be on the panel. The other is to hand-staff a panel, which means the person proposing the panel has already specified who should be on the panel and it is otherwise closed to other panelists. This is often done when a panel absolutely has to have a certain demographic - such as a panel like this which necessitates an all Jewish panel or a panel about trans issues where you want everyone on the panel to be trans, etc.]

So, Jessica had gone with that first way and suggested some possible panelists, but there was a mix-up with programming and all of the names of the suggested panelists were listed as panelists, the panel was closed to volunteers, and private communication that Jessica had submitted to programming was also added to the published panel information. 

This was problematic for a number of reasons. One reason is that the people Jessica has suggested were all people in her own friend group, which included mostly people similar to herself. This was keeping voices different from herself from being on the panel, including people marginalized for other reasons. 

Another problem was the listing of names of people who had not decided if they wanted to be on the panel or not. For obvious historical reasons (and the panel gets into this in more detail a little later), public lists of Jewish people causes a lot of anxiety for Jewish folks. 

At this point, Becky and Jessica acknowledged that most microaggressions are not intentional. They don’t think, for example, that programming did any of this on purpose. 

Gerri said that she wasn’t here last year, but that she’s been coming to WisCon for a long time. She said WisCon used to be mostly people talking about books they’ve read. She remembers many years ago when she’d read Wandering Stars: A Jewish Anthology of Fantasy and Science and Fiction by Jack Dann and she was excited to be reading stories about Jews in space. 

Gerri recommended the book to someone at WisCon and that person kind of took a step back and said “I didn’t know you were one of those.” Everyone else in the group walked away, leaving her to confront this on her own. He then asked her if her name was her real name. 

Gerri was raised by parents who were always telling her to get ready for when she was no longer welcomed. But even living in a world with a lot of overt antisemitism, she didn’t really believe them about that until the moment described above.

Paul talked about how 11-20% of Jews in the US are POC, that Jews are poor and middle class at the same rates as everyone else, and that these are things people don’t always understand. He also said they were not going to discuss Israel on this panel, adding there could be a whole entire con just about that, but that one thing that happens, especially in leftist spaces, is a conflation of Israel with Zionism and Zionism with Judaism and Judaism with every individual Jewish person. 

Jessica told about a panel a few years back about Agent Carter. The focus was on the lack of diversity, which was true. But season two heavily implied that Howard Stark came from a Jewish family who had changed their name. The moderator of that panel waved it away as not very important. Jessica, in the audience, had tweeted using the # for the panel about how significant that representation was to her. The mod saw the tweet during the panel and apologized. 

Jessica also said that friends of hers who were not here shared their own stories about incidents involving everything from off-color Anne Frank jokes to serious incidents that were brought to safety. 

Becky said that they all kept repeating that they know most of these things are not malicious, but she wants to acknowledge that they still hurt. She wants people to think harder about these things, but she’s not trying to call specific people out right now. 

Becky added that as a white Jewish person, she’s in a liminal space of privilege and oppression. She notes that leftists do these kinds of microaggressions a lot, but they’re the ones that should care about Not doing them.

Gerri talked about how fandom began with a lot of Jewish people. So when she got into it, she felt it would be safe. Many cons used to have spaces for services programmed in and one even had a Passover room with food they could eat during the holiday. She’s not sure how or when that went away, but she misses it. Some of it might be the lack of ability to accommodate all religions.

Gerri also talked about conversations that end up leading to “those Jews and their banks”. She objects, but has been told she doesn’t understand because she’s Jewish. “I understand I didn’t have toys as a child because we were too poor.” People try and take it back and it can be hard not to just say it’s okay. 

Jessica talked about more of these things people believe falsely about Jewish people. One is the “Christ killer” thing. In a poll she saw, 60% of Americans believe that Jews killed Jesus. Actually - it was the Romans.

Paul said intent in these things doesn’t always matter. For example, he was told Jews make the best lawyers - this is supposed to be a compliment, but it isn’t. 

Paul and Jessica talked about some of the antisemitic dog whistles that people use such as “globalist” and “lizard people” - it used to be “Hollywood.” 

Becky added that there are a lot of fannish memes that use the lizard people one - folks don’t get that it originates from antisemitism. (Example: “I, for one, support our new lizard overlords.”)

Becky also talked about growing up in a small town where hers was the only Jewish family. She was asked if she had horns, and was asked to come to church with friends so that she wouldn’t go to hell. 

Becky said that Jewish people are always in fear of when it might be time to pack up and leave. Trumpism is making that fear feel very real right now. The idea of knowing there are people in her neighborhood who want her dead is hard. But it’s also hard that with the people she organizes with politically - events are often held on Jewish holidays. “I can’t organize on Yom Kippur - I’m too hungry!” 

Jessica talked about a time she was in France and didn’t want to go with friends to the Jewish museum because she didn’t want to telegraph her Jewishness. She grew up in Brooklyn and believed when she was younger that all white people were Jewish. Then she moved to NJ and heard her first Jewish jokes, and learned about “looking Jewish.” 

Jessica told a story about a boy she and her friend both had a crush on. But then she heard this boy make a joke about someone who was Jewish, saying “oh he must be hiding in the oven.” Her friend said it was no big deal and that Jews should get over the holocaust. 

Jessica said that the holocaust was the largest manifestation of antisemitic genocide, but that is because technology allowed it to be. Jewish history is full of examples of genocide. The joke about Jewish holidays is “they tried to kill us, they failed, let’s eat.”

Paul brought up the concept of generational trauma. Even if it hasn’t happened to you or in your lifetime, knowing your culture’s history and being told about it from your elders instills trauma all the same.

Becky posed the question to the panelists of how they would like to see WisCon and other spaces supporting Jewish people.

Paul talked about Jewish holidays not being recognized. Also - when antisemitic microaggressions happen - someone else needs to step in. It can’t only be Jewish people doing the work themselves.

Gerri said to simply think before speaking and if something comes out bad - apologize and mean it. Then work harder at it.

Jessica said she thought the idea of services was a good one. She added that she requested this panel be on a Sunday due to Shabbat.

Jessica would also like more recognition about the pluralism of Jewishness. And generally just more axis of diversity when it comes to all religions.She notes that even discussions of atheism tend to come through a Christian lens. 

Becky said that a lot of things that are considered to be secular or neutral are not. For example: Christmas.

Jessica added she’d like the removal of the phrase Judeo-Christian. It means nothing. If you mean Abrahamic religions, say that, and make sure you’re including Islam. 

Gerri advised asking questions so that you don’t unintentionally hurt people.

Becky talked about a panel this year about Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and The Good Place. Someone had said that Judaism was not used in the main character on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Becky had raised her hand to say that no, her Judaism was important. The panelist apologized and admitted they were out of their lane. It was a good exchange. If something is said wrong in good faith - it’s not an issue for it to be brought up.

Jessica added that one of the core values of Judaism is asking questions. 

That said, Becky said it was time for audience questions but set some guidelines first. No talking about Israel, as that’s a derail. No oppression olympics. The panelists are allowed to stop or to just not answer if they wish. And there will be no denying any of the panelists experiences. 

The first audience question was about how to better understand Jewish experiences. 

Gerri didn’t have a specific rec because each book or perspective is just one out of many.

Jessica talked about the difficulty in rec-ing a list of Jewish authors without creating a Nazi hit list. But she added that a lot of our pop culture is Jewish - comic books, comedy, musical theater, etc. 

Gerri rec’d an old movie - Gentleman’s Agreement with Gregory Peck. 

Paul said that a useful exercise is when watching media and a Jewish character is on screen - how are we being treated? Often, it’s not good. 

An audience member rec’d the wikipedia article on antisemitism. 

Becky said - what if we stopped having space Jews who are greedy, such as the Ferengi. 

Jessica said the only good Jews in space is Mel Brook’s Jews in Space.

Someone in the audience discussed the conspiracy theories about cabals and Jewish people having secret privilege. This undercuts the actual oppression of Jewish people. Antisemitism is getting bolder again, so we have to be more loud about confronting it. There is a culture of assimilation due to the fear of “being on the list” and the trauma around that. The audience member acknowledged they were layering questions within questions, but Jessica said “no, this is very Jewish, keep going!” 

Gerri said that when she was growing up, Jews were loud. Her mom would tell her to be more quiet or they’ll think you’re Jewish. She was like, well I am Jewish! But there can be a real fear that being loud might cause you to die. 

Paul recommends punching Nazi’s every day. 

Jessica advised allies to ask how to best support. She gave the example of the triple parenthesis issue on twitter, which was something supremacists were using to designate people they thought were Jewish. Some people started using the triple parenthesis on purpose in protest, but this was very upsetting to a lot of Jewish people due, again, to the issue of the list, being publicly Jewish, the generational trauma there, etc. Jessica said to speak for Jewish people when necessary, but never over them.

Becky asked the panelists for last words or rec’s.

Gerri said Isaac Asimov

Paul said there are lots of resources at Jews for Racial and Economic Justice.

Becky said Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, also the author Katherine Locke - specifically The Girl with the Red Balloon, a time travel book with Jewish characters. 

Jessica said there are too few YA speculative fiction books with Jewish characters. She does recommend early comics by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, etc. Superman, Spider-Man, and others are all based on Jewish themes. She also recommended the first Independence Day movie and Rose Lerner’s romance novels. 

And that’s all I got! Also my last write-up for this year. The other panels I attended, I just didn’t get enough decent notes down to make a write-up worthwhile. Might make a round-up post and add some comments on the panels I was on, but not sure.