#i don't really read their relationship as romantic

[thepumpkinwolf]

[Image Description Start: Various screenshots of dialogue from Slay The Princess

Image 1: A dialogue option reading: "Honestly, the world sucks. People are a plague and I hope you brought a slow and painful ruin to them all."

Image 2: Four dialogue/action options reading:

"I know you want to kill me, but has anyone ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

"I just feel like I really get you. I like you. Romantically, even. Maybe we can hash this out over a date."

"How about you buy me dinner before impaling me to death?"

[Give her The Look.]

Image 3: The Narrator saying: I will mope about it, because moping is the only recourse you loveblind fools have left me with.

Image 4: The Voice of the Smitten saying: Besides what better way to die so very many times than at the sharp hands of a beautiful woman.

Image 5: Dialogue reading: Do I need to explain to you why decapitation is lethal?

Image 6: The Voice of the Broken saying: This is all just a sick joke. I hate existing.

Image 7: The Voice of the Hero saying: I don't know! How about we think about the nuances of interpersonal relationships when we're not being strangled?!

Image 7: The Narrator saying: You extend your hand to hers. For all her past cruelties, the moment feels gentle, tender even. I can't believe you just made me say that. I hate you.

End Image Description.]

Slay the Princess is a comedy

[laprasboat]

sometimes i read posts about dan and phil's relationship and all i can think about is how it feels like the person who wrote the post has 0 examples of loving, healthy relationships around them

don't get me wrong, certain aspects of their lives/relationship are special and unique

but often people point out stuff that should be normal in relationships, i don't mean this in a "their relationship is nothing special" kind of way, but it makes me sad to hear so many people say they don't think they'll ever have something like that in their lives

having a partner who loves you, cares about you and genuinely enjoys spending time with you, someone who looks at you like you're the greatest thing since sliced bread is not an unachievable feat, a privilege reserved only for the most special people

sure, you're probably not gonna meet them as a teenager and build a career together (and not everybody wants that either) but i don't think that dan and phil's relationship would be less meaningful or beautiful if they met when they were 30 or if they never made it on youtube

i think there are just so few examples of couples (especially queer couples) both online and in media in general, that have healthy relationships, not to mention that so many of us were never taught to communicate effectively (speaking about people in general, not a specific demographic of people)

and all of this just reminds me of the numerous dating coaches on the internet (this specific rant was triggered by one of them) especially the people who treat romantic relationships like a really complicated game

i saw a video one of those "dating and love coaches" made about how your partner should not be your friend and how you shouldn't feel comfortable enough to talk to them about anything and everything, that's what your "girl friends" are for

and maybe im a bit biased, growing up i watched my parents who were (and still are) very much in love with one another and absolutely are each others best friends, but i cannot imagine anything more sad than dating being nothing more than a transactional relationship

i know im just ranting at this point and can't even tell how coherent this is, but if you're still reading this, i need you to understand

and i cannot stress this enough

you absolutely can (if you want) have a relationship that makes you as happy as dan and phil's relationship makes them

no you cannot have a relationship just like theirs, because you aren't them, what they have works for them and you need to figure out what works for you, what makes you happy

but don't let anyone convince you that you're supposed to be unhappy and that you should just settle for the relationship that makes you the least miserable

[baphometsss]

the 'memories of a duet' codex is so interesting and not just because you can read it in so many ways. given that mythal is on the codex card i think you can safely assume it's about her, but it reveals so much about their relationship if you pay attention. this is a memory of solas learning a song/composing it for her, to remind her of who they are (were) when everything sang the same (in the fade, when they were spirits). she's doing her own thing at court but he does it all just to get a single happy glance from her, to see her remember the familiarity that is so integral to solas's understanding of who he is. 'seeing wholly, being wholly seen'. remember that spirits reflect: solas reflected mythal's benevolence, and mythal reflected his wisdom. they need to reflect to maintain their sense of who they are: it is not just about his love for mythal, but his way of retaining his sense of who he is, by prolonging the memory of that reflection even as she grew away from him.

the 'away from mindless worship and well-meant misunderstanding' is really fucking interesting too. it's a memory of a moment where mythal could forget her role of the charismatic all-mother, who was loved and adored by her children, and where solas could ignore the no doubt frequent insinuations from others that his devotion was romantic. it was a way for them to connect in a way where they could just be true to who they were and how they felt about each other: like branches of the same tree, like family. of course, this was before he rebelled, before mythal betrayed him by joining the evanuris--although how long before is questionable since they're only sharing glances at this point. it's kind of sad, too; it reads like he's already having to do so much to get barely anything in return from this person who is meant to be his family.

it also puts a lot of things into perspective about solas's feelings on the modern elves in dai. that feeling of kinship, the twinning he felt with mythal and felassan and no doubt other elvhen and spirits, is so precious to him. he doesn't want to share it with anyone in this terrible, broken world he created, as if to share it with them would somehow taint it. it's only by the end of dai and into datv that he sees he was wrong, that the elves may have forgotten their history, but they are of the same family: different branches on the same tree.

when he says to a romanced lavellan, you are unique, i have never found a spirit such as yours, you have a rare and marvellous spirit, etc. he's also saying that he hasn't felt this sense of kinship for a long time, that he didn't expect to bond with someone from this broken world in the way he did. it's a different bond to the one he had with mythal, too, because he says he never thought he would find someone who would draw his attention from the fade and by extension, his longing to be a spirit once again--something he constantly tried to get mythal to agree with him on and failed. with lavellan, for the first time, he actually wants someone in this overwhelmingly physical and romantic way--something spirits don't feel, apparently. cole doesn't get with maryden unless you make him more human, and he also says he doesn't feel any attraction as a spirit. solas is actually glad to be a person and not just a spirit, because it means he's actually able to experience romantic love and desire for the very first time (as the romance description in datv heavily suggests). what's more, despite his misgivings, he likes it.

as others have pointed out, lavellan's speech in datv is in hallelujah cadence like the dialogue with the other elvhen. the duet is being sung once again--in a different context, but no less meaningful. there's a song by bjork called stonemilker, where she sings: 'a juxtaposition in fate/find our mutual coordinates'. it really reminds me of this; the need emotional synchronicity, of being completely on someone's wavelength, understood totally, seeing wholly and being wholly seen.

[shazzbaa]

Asking the FLoc crayon [neon carrot] bc someone has to.

neon carrot: if you could give them any npc as a spouse, who would it be and why?

THIS IS SUCH A HARD QUESTION.

To address the obvious answer given recent activities: no i dont think he should marry Feducci, but he… might, if given the chance. The man CANONICALLY sent Sam 12 cellars of wine with a note reading "TO PASSIONS UNMATCHED" i dont think anyone can blame him for feeling like they had something special!!!! Feducci seems like he could make him very satisfied intimacy-wise but would also almost certainly Make Him Worse.

Samuel's constant difficulty with Marriage is that he isn't really… romantic in the traditional sense. HE HAS A LOT OF PHYSICAL DESIRE but romance rarely does anything for him outside of stories, and he gets antsy whenever he's locked in to a particular life plan. HOWEVER: he is usually too Catholic(TM) to really embrace a no-strings-attached lifestyle, and his tastes are well outside the typical Veilgarden hookup anyway (one of his most sensual experiences was getting murdered by an actual literal lance through the gut, so…). The real reason he bought multiple viric dreams of the Bishop of Southwark was that he was trying SO hard to Want Marriage, but even with someone so physically intense and driven, that dream of settling down for life isn't what he really wants; he just wants the part where they're wrestling by the fire.

The other complication is that he has finally found partners he can be happily intimate with: Peter and Jack (@little-red-notebook and @reliably-derogaffectionate's characters, respectively), to whom he is essentially a friend with benefits. He was best man at their wedding somewhat wistfully, but since they've both assured him that they still want him involved in their relationship, it feels very easy to be with them; a closeness he wants without the expectations that come with being a Spouse. It's still, you know, making love outside of marriage, but Samuel has never been good at avoiding that, and at least here he knows he's not leading anyone on or cheating on anyone.

An Ideal Marriage for Sam would involve some amount of polyamory to give him room for these inevitable, ah, extracurricular activities, someone that doesn't tie him down, ideally someone he can do physically dangerous things with and, importantly, have sex (these two activities can be combined). But I also think in an ideal world he would have someone who respects his own principles and doesn't try to smother his hope for compassion with duty, which feels like the big sticking point for a lot of the aggressive characters (like Southwark and Feducci) that Sam's attracted to.

I don't remember well enough to say how many of these points she hits, but I keep thinking of the Zubmariner from the Sunken River ES, as someone no-nonsense in a way Sam really respected and found attractive, but who also has people she cares about. She might be too cool to fall for this soggy loser, though, and the chances of her turning out to be a lesbian seem high. (Also Sam left her behind…. that's a choice he regrets, and I kinda wanna replay that story at some point, with the idea of him actually trying to go back for her). But in general, the idea of Samuel marrying a principled pirate where they both know their first love will always be the zee feels like something that could turn out to be a genuinely happy partnership for him. BUT WHO KNOWS maybe in a year I'll come back with a totally different answer I never saw coming.

[like-tears-in-rain-storms]

Ok just had to share because I've been seeing these people all around and yet it had never happened directly to me.

So, great review of Nosferatu, and I get into A Situation with a person claiming that Orlok is a psychic pdfile rapist of child-Ellen and what's more, the covenant he tricked her into making with him symbolizes a marriage contract,thus Ellen is the analogue of a child bride and a denunciation of the buying and selling of women as brides through history and during that period in particular - also class analysis of how he's a parasite that sucks people dry, yadda yadda, we all know the class analysis. Now that's certainly....a take, and tbh I can see some elements of it sleekly fitting in with the way Eggers structures his themes, but to treat it so absolutely as THE explanation of such an intricate narrative....yeah. I had some issues with that.

And the whole affair ends with that person telling me verbatim, I kid you not, "you should examine why it is that you have a romantic reading on such an one-sided relationship between an undead rapist killer and his teenage victim".

And I'm like....what is this supposed to be? An own? Is it supposed to make me stop dead on my tracks and go "oh yeesh. Why am I romanticizing the goddamn gothic romance????? Am I some kind of monster? A ticking time bomb who'll listen tomorrow about a teen grooming victim of some degenerate and go "yeah but consider that she might have called on him on her dreams to liberate her and spread Covid around"???

To make a long story short, that passive-aggressive urge to self-psychologize with the hint that there's something wrong with myself did absolutely nothing to me,and I can explain it already as I did.

I had a romantic reading because I like gothic romance.

That's it, that's all the answer needed.

But I'm feeling rambly, so I'll elaborate. Because I like sounding the depths of the human mind and will and I like imagining it against powers that defy human measures. Because I like to imagine human nature as a universe, full of it's own destructive phenomena, natural disasters, secret cave systems and toxic geysers. Because in fiction I am free to do so, and can taste flavors that I would never seek out in the real world, like the vertigo of fulfilling the need for self-destruction, or the grandeur of being worth more than the entire world to someone, and what's more, I can acknowledge they exist, and can safely follow them to their logical limits from behind the safety of a book cover. Because on the page we can live out what can't be lived out in the real world even if we tried and because "some things belong on the page, others in life, and it's a blessed fool who can't tell the difference" and I don't know how others see themselves, but I am neither blessed nor a fool.

So needless to say, that wasn't the one it was probably intended as. Really interesting, though, to see such limited-minded puritanism take the stand on the event of Nosferatu coming out. Really interesting how, somehow, they are sounding more and more like crusaders of moral purity for the easily-deceived masses, only now dressed in some righteous "anti-abuse" garb, like abuse in the world will be affected if someone on the internet says that maybe the devouring embodiment of darkness that was rotting alive in the movie had some lasting and fatal effect on Ellen, and it didn't have to be love for it to be defining.

The real question is, why when your limit is the sky and you can make playgrounds out of your mind, do people feel the need to bring everything down to the unromantic, pedestrian and depressive reality that surrounds us whether we want it or not? As far as passive-aggressive urges for self-reflection go, I think that's a much more potentially productive one.

[shiningmystic]

Welcome to the little space I created for you singles to see what's coming next in love! I hope this finds you before valentines day and always be open to the possibilities that the world has. I am an energy reader and will use the energy you are giving off now to see what you are attracting into your future. Prediction readings are not a guarantee especially with energy shifts so be open and to see what comes up. Enjoy the reading? I have a small shop on Ko-fi that you can order another reading from to support me. Check pinned post for all about me as a reader!

Ko-Fi I Shmfeedback I Pinned Post

This reading is for 17 year olds and older! Minors DO NOT INTERACT or assume this is an accurate reading for you!

Thank you for your support! I send luck in love your way <3

Theme Song: Die with a Smile by Lady gaga featuring Bruno mars

First Rose: Strength, Nine of Cups (rx), The Moon (rx), Five of Swords

Clarifying Cards: Queen of wands, nine of coins (rx)

For you my first rose I do see someone coming into your life but they might not be who you imagine. I see you hold onto a lot of past judgments from your previous relationships (familial or even romantic) these judgements towards yourself are projected onto others unintentionally. I see you using this defense mechanism for helpful moments but what you desire and what you truly want isn't fully aligned. I see your expectations are high and you may wonder why this person you have been manifesting isn't here. It may be because you aren't seeing the full picture or maybe you do and see to much of peoples flaws to let them in feeling like they are just not a right fit but you really don't know; many people are good at hiding there own true selves like how others are good at hiding there not so favorable traits.

There is a difference with having high expectations to choose the right person and those high expectations being used as a way of defense instead of being helpful. I'm NOT saying to lower your expectations or standards but there is this idea you continue to hold that hinders you from finding anyone that could fit your "list". Maybe there is a job or a certain requirement this partner should have to be before you accept them and everyone who may not meet those exact lines is out of your mind. I do not think this is shallow at all, I think your just doing it to not get hurt by someone that you previously have had to abide and cater to and you want to make this relationship more worth it. I see you have been patient and strong for yourself trying to choose the right one when the right one could be anyone; you do have to let go and trust when it comes to loving someone which is something I have to learn to. Trusting yourself that you will do everything in your power to leave if you choose the wrong one. Love isn't easy but it can be simpler with the right outlook. Your dream person will come along and maybe they will surprise you but pushing others away will only push that person away as well. I am also getting the message specifically for some of you that you are learning to trust yourself and that is beautiful yet you still hold onto judgments that make you feel like your can't trust yourself. Its funny how we can pick out insecurities of others because we are insecure of those flaws in ourselves.

I've said this on my blog many times "you are worthy of all good things happening even if you did nothing to 'earn' it." Take care of yourself and do physical things to build your confidence like getting a facial, exercise, start a new hobby; build yourself up and this person will pop into your life without you realizing it. Trust me, my sister found one of her soulmates when she was done with searching for a partner (after many many years of yearning for a true lover) and I am so happy for her.

Second Rose: Temperance (rx), The Fool (rx) Judgment (rx)

Clarifying Cards: Page of swords (rx), Four of wands

For you my second rose I see no one in particular coming into your love life for multiple reasons; I'm sorry to the singles who were really hoping for something soon but do not worry love can still come this is about the future after all. The future I say is always fluid which is why you can't really pinpoint certain things, just big themes and from there its up to us readers to interpret what is going on. For you my second lovely pile I see a reluctance. For some of you you have broken up with someone recently or have seen a relationship end very ugly so in your mind you have this understanding that you won't let any of that happen to you which leads me to this block that I feel in this spread. You're kinda like the first rose, you may need to reevaluate why you desire for a person; Is your life upside down and you desire peace? Has every relationship you have jumped into always surface level amazing and it ends up in a break up? The four of wands card is usually a marriage card but it can be seen as a setting of stability and finding a place of peace which may be what you truly seek at this time. I would like to say quickly that any reason is valid to desire deep love and to know you desiring a person has nothing to do with this block, it is just the approach to love that seems to hold you back and is a cycle that keeps repeating. The judgement reversed could also talk about you having a lot of self doubt and have someone on your mind but you have fear holding you still. If you have a person on your mind know that your fear is valid yet it shouldn't dictate your happiness and you won't keep sitting there asking "what if?"

Maybe your confidence is weak compared to your desire so when there may be a chance you may shy away. It's always about confidence and knowing your worth when it comes to attracting a person who will see you for you and if your ashamed of yourself? it will only hurt you and them especially if they like the you that you may judge harshly. I see many of you my second rose is that you are way better at connecting in person then online, that the internet may feel like the only way because of low self worth or confidence when you need more physical connection and communication. There is also a pressure on yourself for some of you, like you are running out of time; your soulmates and soul family are out there always so do not doubt the untouched potential within you and outside of you. This new beginning in love holds a lot of defensive energy like the first pile but I also hear, 'They wouldn't want me...who would see me as desirable?' but you are! we all are desirable to people and you would be shocked at how many people admire you. I also need to add that for some (maybe even all of you) have been working on this and I know its hard, just keep discovering and pushing. This is pretty general reading but I've seen horrible people find love so why can't you? (I'm referring to some of my family members who are married lmao) so reevaluate what love is to you and follow that love to find someone who aligns with that type of love. Don't deny your worth, you are lovable, you are worthy and you will find the courage to find the one.

Third Rose: Knight of Wands (rx), The Tower (rx), Page of Coins

Clarifying Cards: Ace of Coins, Two of Wands (rx), Nine of cups (rx)

For you my third rose I do see someone coming in and they are quite a lovely and rambunctious individual. I see you will love how they look and enjoy the fun side of them but I also see you learning a lot from this relationship. I sense a lot of stress going on and this person will lift a lot of it and give you perspective on love that you never would have witnessed before. I think you will not stay with this person (take that with a grain of salt because I hate saying that when things can change) but I see you discovering a lot about yourself and how stable you want your love and relationships to be. I see this person giving you a taste of this stable love and I see you enjoying your time together.

Ok, now to focus on the big message of this pile; You will be growing into your own, really getting to know yourself when it comes to this person being in your life and developing a dynamic with them. For some of you this person will show you things you may not want in love and may be a little to chaotic for your tastes even though I see this person also bringing fun so its a mixed bag. You may be in that energy too, going wild and living life but I think this relationship will bring you much love and happiness. Whenever I see the page of coins I think of my sister taking a leap and learning about what works for her and what doesn't in life that relates to routine money and stability (even in relationships). The earth element to me speaks about comforts and this person will bring a new comfort that you will enjoy so really live in the moment with this person ok? Always be open to what the possibilities are and if this person is a long time partner always be open to learning and communicating even if your feelings feel 'ridiculous', they are valid and should be spoken to the person that you are putting your heart and trust into. I do sense a big emphasis on communication which is interesting when I don't see swords in the spread but communicating is key in this new relationship coming your way (as it should be in every relationship). Trust in yourself and just be honest, if they aren't open to that then you know what is best for you.

Tarot Decks used: Tarot of the Divine By, Yoshi Yoshitani

[letteredlettered]

In an answer to an ask, I was describing a WIP of mine that's about a friend of the protagonist who is completely in the dark about the protagonist's relationship with another friend of theirs. The fic is about the fact that though the friend is very close to the protagonist and thinks deeply about their feelings, they are still not able to see what is going on.

I think the reason I was interested in this fic was I really dislike the tropes like "A/B think they're being sneaky about dating but all their friends know," or "their friends knew A/B were meant for each other before they did" or "their friends try to get A/B together because they know A and B like each other." The fic I wanted to write was sort of the opposite of all of those, where the friend, despite being very close to the protagonist and deeply concerned about his welfare, is wrong about everything.

I think I have a lot of feelings about the tropes I listed, some of which are related to what I think friendship is and should be, others related to what friendship has been for me, all related to how I operate in this world, I think. First of all, most stories that employ those sort of tropes have friends going behind their friend's back and manipulating them. I would hate to find out that a friend manipulated me into some kind of meet-cute or confession instead of just having and open and honest conversation about it.

These stories often also have friends mistrusting their friends and not believing them; the protagonist will say, "I don't like him like that!" or "I don't see how we'd work as a couple!" and instead of taking the protagonist at their word, the friends decide they know the protagonist better than they know themself. And you know what, sometimes your friends do know you better than yourself; it can be very helpful that they do. It can be very helpful when they nudge you in a direction you thought you couldn't go, because you didn't know you could handle it or didn't know you needed it. But in the end, I find it offensive if someone doesn't believe with what I'm saying, if they're not engaging with what I'm thinking, if they're deciding they know better. Because even if they do know better, I still think and feel these things, and I want my feelings to be addressed, not ignored--even if they're wrong sometimes.

Which brings me to how I move through the world. I often feel I move in darkness. I don't know what other people think unless they tell me or make obvious demonstrations. And I feel that way partly because I so often feel misunderstood, because people read my expressions, or my tone, or don't listen carefully to the nuance of my words, and they assume things about me that I don't feel, that don't describe me, that have more to do with them than with me. And then there is so much of me going on under the surface that I don't know how to express in day to day life, things I feel and think about that other people don't guess. Lots of times, other people don't even seem interested.

I've never had people in my life speculate about whom I might be romantically interested in--at least, not to my face, unless they were my wife. I've never been asked if I like someone after middle school. I didn't date for 35 years, and was never asked to my face why, or whether I was interested, or why I wasn't with anyone, except a few times very gently by my mother. When I started dating a woman, no one said anything about me being gay. No one had questions. No one seemed interested in my sexuality or journey to get there.

Throughout my life, I never felt like I have been treated like a person who could have a romance, a person who could have sex, a person who could have a relationship. Was I too ugly? Was I too fat? Was it because I didn't present in a feminine way? Was I too loud? Was I too confident? Was I too intellectual? Was I too weird? Too awkward? Too unlike those around me? Was it because I'd never been with someone? Was it because I didn't talk about wanting it? Was it because I was too content, too happy? Was there something about me that screamed asexual, aromantic, this is someone who will never have a love story?

Around 10 years ago, I was talking to a friend with whom I'd never talked about any of this. We talked about work and our mutual acquaintances, her kids, my theater, and art. But one day she brought up a mutual friend of ours who was in her thirties, wanting to have babies and get married, but was having trouble finding a partner. My friend said something that gave me pause, something like, "Everyone wants to be with someone; no one wants to be alone. She just wants the life everyone has." And I said, "I don't have that life." And my friend instantly said, "Oh, but you're different."

I asked her why, and she couldn't say, only that I just didn't seem to want it. But what made her think that? What was it about me? I could understand if she was surrounded by people saying "I want this" over and over again, and she had never heard me saying that, maybe she drew some conclusions about me. But it felt strange. It felt hurtful--not because I need marriage and babies, but because I am automatically sorted in the category of "different" in this person's mind. They were just one person, but this seemed to also be the case with dozens of other people. Hundreds. Everyone wants this; it's normal--except for you, lettered. You're obviously different.

I know I'm actually very lucky. Many people would love to have my "problem." Many people who are asexual or aromantic, many people who haven't figured it out yet, many people who have been in a series of bad relationships and feel hopeless, many people who can't find someone to date at all, might love to have been in those shoes. They would love to not be asked "who are you dating, when will you marry, when can I expect grandkids?" they would love to escape "why don't you settle down? why don't you have a boyfriend? how can you still be single?" Maybe they would love to be told by my friend, "Oh, you're different, in the world of people we all expect to be paired up with other people, you just don't count."

But knowing that's what other people get asked, knowing that other people get constant questions about their love lives, so much so that it's annoying for them--and then knowing that no one ever asked me (except for my mother, gently and kindly, a few times, careful not to exert pressure) feels bad. Was I the sidekick in some story, the one no one expects to have a love story of their own? Could no one imagine me as a romantic interest? A sexual object? Am I the platonic ideal of a woman, untouchable and perfect in every way? Am I Mary Poppins?

Anyway, the simple answer is probably just that people are mainly self-centered, and if you don't bring it up, it doesn't occur to them. And to tell you the truth, I didn't often bring it up because while I would like to have been with someone, but I really don't need it; I just thought it would be nice. It wasn't a burning interest of mine, so maybe I shouldn't have even felt so bad that people seemed to make assumptions about me. (I'm just glad my wife didn't make assumptions like that; everything changed when my fire wife attacked.)

But since I am already a person who felt largely in the dark about how others feel, and feel that others are largely in the dark about me, this aspect of myself just felt like another facet of a blind operation. I often feel that I'm trapped in my own world, and you are trapped in yours, and we are all groping blindly for things we can never fully grasp, because you can never fully enter my world, and I can never enter yours.

And I recognize that the "friends know about their feelings" trope and the "friends get them together" trope is in some ways wish fulfillment--maybe everyone feels blind, feels unseen, and unknown, and they wish people would see them in this way, and know them. They wish people would step into their world and offer a hand, and lead them to another person's world, where they will never be alone.

But I, personally, find it very comforting to read about that blindness, to know that I'm not alone because we're all blind, and yet we still find ways to reach out to each other regardless.

[vaguemouse]

I've had this insane rant about sarmenti and Baldwin perfectly representing the two facets of homosexuality on the back heater

Sarmenti is pretty much the person you look at and go "no way he's not a boy kisser". His sexuality is not only explicit but it's also performative. It results into him being both not taken seriously and expected to serve as an interesting refreshment from what the people are used to sexually-wise plus remain chill about it. Even if people aren't interested in him like this, he is still supposed to be this fun flamboyant speck of colour that cheers you up. But it's really, really hard when all you get for honestly doing your job (being "fun") is abuse and disrespect. In fact, it's inevitable to be traumatised if you are born into such circumstances, and Sarmenti still got hit pretty bad even so. And despite all he stays silly exactly bacause he can't change this part of himself and how society views him

And baldwin's character doesn't make sense to me if you don't read him as a walking homosexuality metaphor his story falls into this narrative too well. So at first he has this very strict upbringing that prevents him from not only forming any romantic relationships but close relationships too. Then he has all these duties and work to shield himself from understanding his nature until it's too late. And man, I won't be lying when i say i got very emotional when the narrator in dd2 said this thing along the lines of "he concealed it until it was impossible to conceal it". And with leprosy it just develops into another stage. Now that he has no other choice but to be seen this way by others he is seen as nothing but his affliction. Furthermore, he is disgusting and untouchable to most, he can only hope to somehow compensate with his other qualities but still, all of them are largely overshadowed by what others see him for. Also the fact that showing love (in a broader sense) is basically the reason of his downfall?? And that his people turned against him because of it?? And that he had to sever his bond with his homeland/family/whoever else because of it?? And we know he misses his kingdom oh my god

Homosexuality is deadly in some places of the world. Even if you don't get executed or killed just like that it's still a "hindering factor" since your quality of life inevitably deteriorates if people learn about your sexuality and it's a big part of them both. Something very ingrained into their nature that causes them so much pain but also something that they can't change

[penquinnpebbles]

Dysmorphio's Back At It Again! | Bill Cipher x Reader

Was feeling not so good today, but then I was inspired by a certain page in my Book of Bill! This is incredibly self-indulgent lmao

Synopsis: You don't like the way you look. Bill decides to cheer you up in his own weird way.

Content: can be read as platonic or romantic, established relationship (timeline is unclear but like assume he's just living with you or something), OOC Bill Cipher, talks of dysmorphia and self-deprecation, attempt at comfort, mostly lighthearted and silly, Bill's advice may not work for everyone!! but he does mean well (or is trying to anyways)

You feel like you're doing something wrong.

You stare at the mirror, eyes zoning in on every flaw. The more you look, the more things you find that makes your chest tighten. A zit there, some dry skin here...

Your hair is unflattering on your head, and your face shape reminds you of lumpy clay. Your lips are dry, and your eyes have bags that make it look sunken--like a skeleton or a corpse. Your body is awkward looking, and you're barely fashionable enough to pull it off.

Who are you kidding? Nothing looks good on you. The styles you try to copy off of Pinterest or any other site never end up working out: You never seem to look as good compared to the people in the picture.

...You don't get it. You thought that, by now, things would change. As a kid, you believed that you'd look better when you grew up. Nicer. More attractive. That was how puberty worked, right? You go through an awkward phase as your body grows, and when you become an adult, you'd be the stunning and most drop dead gorgeous looking person you dreamed of being.

Of course, you understand now that's not how it really works. Technically, yes, puberty is like that. But realistically, you're probably not going to turn into a super model. And that was fine with you.

Really, it was.

Until you saw your friends and can't help but think how lovely they look. Then you see the people around you and think that they look lovely, too.

Then you look at yourself.

And you can't help but think that 'lovely' is the last word you'd use.

You know that beauty is subjective. You know that your younger self's mentality of 'I'll instantly look amazing when I grow older!' is flawed, because good looks aren't something you can grow into.

But looking at everyone else, and how they all seem to grow into that 'good looking/attractive' person you imagined... Meanwhile, you feel like you're still stuck in the awkward phase.

You let out a quiet sigh.

You just want to see yourself and feel good about how you look. Is that too much to ask?

"Hey there, slick!"

You startle and let out a yelp, stumbling back. Bill laughs from his spot next to you.

"Wow, you're awfully jumpy! Too caught up in your self-deprecation spiral to even notice I'm here?" Bill summons his simple black cane and twirls it in his fingers, eye shining with mirth. "Be glad you evolved to be a predator species, kid. Being that distracted usually means you'd end up as someone's dinner!"

He cackles, and you calm down your racing heart.

"Anyways," Bill snaps his finger, cane disappearing. "I can't help but notice you staring blankly at yourself in the mirror for the past 2 minutes! You finally lost your mind after being around me for so long?"

You open your mouth to say something, before thinking better and closing it. Bill takes in your silence with a hum, eye raking over you.

"Ohh, I see what's going on. You don't like the way you look, huh?"

You turn to face him. Wow, it's like he read your mind. Though, knowing Bill, he probably did.

Bill only shakes his head. "Looks like Dysmorphio's back at it again!"

Your face twists into confusion. Dysmorphio? Bill catches your expression and his eye crinkles like he's smiling.

"He's from the mirror dimension," Bill clarifies. "And let me tell you, he's a real piece of work! He's the reason why people stay inside because 'your face looks weird today'." He does air quotation marks and rolls his eye, and scoffs. "Pretty stupid, if you ask me."

Bill's words make shame trickle in your gut, and you look away.

He falters at that.

"Hey, c'mon, I didn't mean that you're..." Bill trails off, hand outstretched and voice softening just a tiny bit.

Bill almost touches your shoulder before he stops himself, fingers curling into his palm. His eye looks to the side, contemplative... Then he steels himself with a familiar spark of confidence.

Bill grabs your collar-

"C'mere!"

-And drags you in front of the mirror. You let out a strangled noise at the sudden movement and try to find your footing when Bill lets go.

After you balanced yourself, Bill clears his throat.

"Alright, kid, there's no easy way to break this to you. I know it's not hard for creatures like Dysmorphio to get in your head- I mean, look at me! I got in easy peasy!" He leans forward, finger pointing at you. "But that doesn't mean you should ACTUALLY listen to him!"

You perk up at that, and Bill leans back casually, floating at your eye level.

"Here's the truth, slick. You are disgusting."

You deadpan.

"BUT!" He quickly adds, "Guess what? So is everyone else! If you think about it, you're ALL just a bunch of meat computers in a slowly deteriorating flesh prison. So why not FLAUNT it? Here-"

He grabs you by the shoulders and turns you to face the mirror.

"Repeat after me," Bill says. "And I mean actually repeat it. Don't just read my words, alright? Actually repeat after me, or I'm going to eat your hair while you sleep."

Bill clears his throat, looking at you in the mirror.

"I am a REPULSIVE BEAST OF UNFATHOMABLE WRETCHEDNESS!"

Bill waits for your response. You sigh and decide to humor him. His eye lights up when you do, and he continues.

"I FEED ON YOUR DISGUST!"

"I AM REPUGNANCE INCARNATE, AND SHAME CANNOT CLAIM ME. Don't forget that last bit, that one's important!"

You repeat his words as you look at yourself in the mirror. The sheer goofiness of it all makes you feel... Lighter.

"There!" Bill pats your shoulder, proud. "Doesn't that feel better?"

You nod.

"Good." Bill lets his hands fall to his sides. "Now HEADBUTT THE MIRROR TO SHOW HIM WHO'S BOSS!!!"

You give him a look. Bill huffs.

"No?" You shake your head in response. Bill crosses his arms. "Fine... I'll do it for you!"

He points a finger at the mirror and shoots out blue flame like a gun. The mirror shatters, glass shards flying everywhere as Bill laughs maniacally.

Thankfully, none of the shards hit you, considering an invisible shield comes up to protect you and Bill. You wonder whether or not you were safe because you happened to be near him, or if he included you on purpose.

The thought makes you smile.

Bill dusts off his hands, "Welp! There's your lesson for the day, slick. Beauty is overrated and fake, because EVERYONE is revolting! Try reveling in your own horrifying nature for a change. It's great, trust me!"

He slings an arm over your shoulder, eye shimmering in satisfaction.

"Embrace the weirdness! Be proud of your fleshy outer shell! And don't forget to DESTROY all mirrors to taunt Dysmorphio on how he TOTALLY FAILED to get to you!!!"

Bill starts laughing again, swaying you back and forth in his hold. You look down at the floor and spot your reflection on the several glass shards scattered around.

And you find that you like what you see.

Yeah yeah cheesy ahh ending or whatever IDC!!! /lh

This was honestly just written as a personal pick me up, because I was feeling down. And what better way to make urself feel better than to write about your blorbos!!

Also, first time writing for Bill Cipher!! Dont think I got his character quite right, but eh, I'll get better at writing him in the future.

It's also wrote this in the middle of the night, so it's barely proofread WAHHSHSA I hope you still enjoyed it, tho!!

[messmagu]

The guy doesn't know what personal space is, i think

[arcane-ish]

I'm not an expert on internalized misogyny, but I think it's not so much about not being allowed to have a negative read or take on female characters. I think it's more "okay, why do we make excuses for mediocre men". Why don't we apply the same harshness to Jayce for example?

Devil's advocate: he's just marginally less privileged than Caitlyn. His sponsors are the most powerful people in Piltover. Yes, he angst about his life, but so does Caitlyn. Yes, he defends some undercity people he likes, but so does Caitlyn. Yes he gets put through the ringer, but so does Caitlyn. Yes, he is willing to sacrifice himself to get the big win, but so is Caitlyn. He pitches himself one of the most powerful positions in Piltover, he kills a kid, he continues to give weapons to the enforcers, he is the one who ends up acting as boss of Piltover in the end and who invites Zaunites to act as canonfodder for Piltover.

Why would we read him clearly as "he's just trying to help people" vis a vis "Caitlyn is just out for revenge". Why don't we read "Jayce became a scientist because he was just into mysterious/feeding his own magic kink", "Jayce rose in the ranks to feed his own ego", "Jayce is callous and duplicious", "Jayce uses people left and right to rise up in Piltover's society", "Jayce arms up the police", "Jayce poisons the undercity with this hybris", "Jayce kills a kid and it doesn't cause him to turn his back on violence", "Jayce probably is also motivated by fear and revenge after experiencing multiple terrorist attacks on Piltover".

This isn't to say that I think Jayce is actually that bad, but questioning, how much are we NOT having those reads just because he's a run of the mill hot dude with a pretty face? If Jayce was a woman, would we perceive her as way more of an asshole than we do Jayce?

How much are JayVik fans making excuses for his motives because they want to fawn over his relationship with Viktor just like ViCait do with Cait and Vi?

That said, I do think there's a logic to why people may perceive Cait as "the worst" that goes beyond "people hold her to higher standards than the dudes from Jayce (already talked), Viktor (killed a fuckton of people), Silco, Vander etc".

1.) There is a way of hierarchical morality thinking that basically applies highest standards to the people with the most power/privilege (where just the passive act of having and being surrounded by power is considered a mark/a sin to be cleansed of) and makes the most excuses for the people with the least power. I think within fandom spaces we sometimes forget that not actually everyone shares this moral value system in the real world [in the real world you will find way more "same rules for everyone" or "no blame for passive crimes"], but it is a well established system. And within that hierarchical system season 2 establishes Cait as being highest/having the most power. (this was less present in season 1 when she was still below in rank to Marcus and her mother in some ways, but in season 2 we see she always had this authority via the scene where she demands the right to do her strike team [Mel is just slightly below her, she was born into Noxian privilege and she's a councilor, but she's a foreigner to the city, while Caitlyn is full birthright)

2.) When it comes to people hurting a partner, whether fairly or not, people tend to apply different standards to whether or not the characters are in a relationship. So people might be forgiving of Ekko trying to bash Jinx's head in because they are not in a romantic relationship, so "relationship rules" don't apply, but combat rules.

Again it's worth asking maybe a little bit why we judge "Jayce blasts Viktor" so differently even though they at least within fanon are supposed to have this almost most pseudoromantic bond compared to "Cait shoves Vi". Yes Vi and Cait have kissed, but they arguably aren't really in a full on relationship yet. But imo that scene happening so close to them sharing a romantic kiss just triggers people's "relationships rules/logic/standards should apply" instincts and within that logic system a shove can be judged worse than a murder attempt between people who aren't in a romantic relationship yet.

3,) I think Caitlyn's s2 dynamic of "after a terrorist attack I grow fearful of an entire group of people and start voting for fascists/bigger police complex/carpet bombing" feels particularly close to real life and so it feels particularly unsatisfying that isn't cleanly resolved. It's kind of the logic where people will sometimes judge characters who commit adulterly more negatively than characters who commit murder. Because for most people being cheated on feels like a much more realistic threat, something that might actually happen in their lives compared to being murdered. We react more strongly to things that feel close to home and we handwave things that seem far away or just typical fantasy bullshit (Viktor tries to mind rape the world) more easily.

Sooo I been thinking a lot about the fandom reception of Caitvi, and Caitlyn Kiramman herself, and how that reception is negative compared to other, equally or more morally dubious characters and toxic ships. More specifically I've been thinking about my perception of Caitvi and Caitlyn, because I wanted to do some introspection on why I dislike her and the ship compared to others, to evaluate if it really is internalized misogyny or holding female characters to an unfairly high standard or if there was an objective reason that made people react more negatively to this ship/character than others. I came to some conclusions, that if you've been curious about this discourse, you may find interesting, but it's kind of a long read.

While I think in situations like this there is always a factor of implicit misogyny, I've come to the conclusion that, at least for me, there are bigger reasons to why I dislike the ship (and Caitlyn) that may speak to other fans as well.

On the outset, looking at it objectively, Caitvi should be one of the least toxic ships in the fandom. They're pretty much the only one that at no point actively tried to kill each other (Ekko was going to kill Jinx on the bridge, even if he did stop himself, Jinx tried to blow him up along with herself like four times and also fired a machine gun at him. Vander and Silco,, well we all know what happened. Jayce blasted a hole in Viktor's chest. Viktor didn't try to kill Sky but he did. Maddie uhhh fucking tried to shoot Cait in the neck) I think Meljay is the only other mainstream ship from this show that didn't try to fucking murder each other at any point. So why is Caitvi disliked, or at least considered unilaterally less wholesome than Timebomb (who takes the cake for "murder attempts per ship" while also managing to be considered the least problematic in the fandom lmao)?

I came to the conclusion that it ultimately boils down to the ending. I loved Caitvi in season one, I really did, and I kept loving them throughout the beginning of season 2. Caitlyn made mistakes, and she was a cop, but it's a show and I can look past that, Vi made mistakes too. They started to lose me, not when Cait asked Vi to become a cop, but in the later scene where we learn from Maddie that Caitlyn had had Vi enlisted as an enforcer despite her outright rejection of the proposal AND after apologizing for said proposal. This is a huge violation, but Vi's lesbian ass was just touched that Caitlyn complimented her while doing it, so it never gets brought up and she agrees to go along with it? Don't love that. It's literally never brought up. Maybe I got the timeline bungled since it happens off screen but,, yeah.

We then see Caitlyn terrorize the undercity with fucking toxic fumes, as many people bring up. I actually don't think it's OOC for Vi to have gone along with this, she's shown multiple times that she is in support of any level of brutality levied against the people of the undercity as long as they're the ones she doesn't like. No, what got me was when she was aggressively threatening Huck with borderline torture in Stillwater, the thing VI HERSELF EXPERIENCED, and she pulls her aside not to reprimand her, but to make out with her and ask her not to change.

HUH?

Remember in S1 when Vi got incredibly mad at Jayce for "bandying the threat around" when he threatened to arrest her, and got justifiably furious at the unfairness of Topsiders who have no idea what Stillwater is like to wantonly throw people in there to rot? Where was that energy, girl?

Then of course is the part where Caitlyn strikes Vi in an already injured spot to punish her for not letting Caitlyn shoot at a child, which, characters in this show are always being violent to each other, every other ship is. If we can get over Ekko repeatedly pummeling Jinx in her FACE we can get over this, but here's the kicker-

She reduces Vi to her lower class status before hurting her. "I keep telling myself that you're different, but you're not."

In that moment, all of Caitlyn's "ally" sentiments to Zaun fly out the window. In that moment, Vi ceases to be "one of the good ones" to her and she resolves in her abject bigotry towards Zaunites. Vi is no longer worth the dirt at the bottom of her shoe because she's just a Zaunite, like her sister. That's the kicker. The Caitlyn from season 1 who genuinely wanted to do good is gone. She doesn't care about doing good anymore, she only cares about punishing Zaun for existing.

And I think this is why people dislike her, because with most other characters, they consistently wanted to do good and thought they were doing the right thing even if they were absolutely wrong.

Viktor thought that turning humanity into flawless, mindless robots would eliminate suffering.

Jayce constantly fucked up but every fucked up thing he does is because he thinks it will help people.

Ambessa wanted to protect her family and was willing to make any sacrifice to do so.

Singed wanted to save his daughter and was willing to make any sacrifice to do so.

Mel wanted to keep Piltover and Jayce safe.

Sevika wanted the Undercity to be independent and free

Silco is the most similar to Caitlyn in this regard, because his character was mostly motivated by wanting revenge against Piltover, but at least somewhere in his little rat brain, he felt like he was doing it for Zaun and so the people of Zaun could be respected, free, and prosperous.

Caitlyn just wanted revenge.

And then we get to the ending. In the last couple episodes every single character is punished by the narrative for their crimes. With only two exceptions.

Singed and Caitlyn.

Jayce, Viktor, Jinx, and Ambessa all fucking die (I'm not discussing theories of the first three being alive because this post is only going into what the show actually shows us so for the sake of this argument, they dead)

Mel loses the man she loves, has to kill her own mother, and leaves the city she loves to return alone to Noxus.

Ekko catches a glimpse of everything he ever wanted, gives it up to save his own timeline, and the girl he loves still fucking dies and he is left completely alone.

Vi loses her sister and what's left of her dad, and it's her fault Jinx dies, and she has to live with that, and the only support system she has left is her partner who called her a slur then hit her

Cait uhhhh *checks notes* loses her eye. That's. That's all that happens to her. I mean her mom died but that was before she went off the rails, not after, and I think the only character who ended the series with an alive mom was Jayce so it's not like that makes her unique.

Now I can actually see how making her disabled in this way would be an interesting narrative tool, similar to the end of the Comic Nimona, where the Cop love interest becomes disabled when he finally tries to fight for something good, and in doing so his disability frees him from the role of being a cop, without which he can live peacefully and happily. If they'd taken this approach with Cait it would have been very interesting, because she's a sharpshooter. If her newfound lack of depth perception compromised her ability to do her job, and she was no longer an enforcer, that would be an interesting ending.

But they do nothing with that. She's still a cop but she has a cool eyepatch now. Like what a fucking waste.

Now I do know that she supposedly learns from her mistakes. She clearly knows what she did was wrong, she lets Jinx go, despite Jinx being her white whale the entire fucking season, which is a huge sacrifice to make and she does it because she loves Vi. That's sweet, it is, and she gives Sevika her seat on the council I guess to show that she reformed her hatred of Zaunites. It's good that she did those things.

But the fact that she is never held accountable for the worst of the things she does, not by the narrative, not by Vi, not by any other character, and the story ends with her STILL being a cop indicating that she actually learned fuckall, and most importantly: The series ends with her, a cop, who has been violent and discriminatory with Vi before, being Vi's only remaining support system.

Her odds of becoming a victim of the 40% statistic don't look great.

So I hope this explains my and other people's issues with Caitlyn and Caitvi. Ultimately I don't hate the ship I just don't like it, and I'm not some anti who takes issue with other people shipping two Consenting Problematic Adults from "Problematic Adults: the Cartoon, inspired by Problematic Everything: The Video Game." I guess I just wanted to put out an explanation for why I and others don't like them in the hopes of reaching some understanding in the fandom. I'm glad to have my canon problematic lesbians at the end of the day.

[lucyshypemaster]

we genuinely need more platonic male-female relationships like the one brynne and aiden have

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Instruction on Courtship

[First] Prev <--> Next

[horsechestnut]

Villain Cass Arc bad, but I do think it's very cute that she is immediately like "I want Tim to be my partner. Surely he'll understand, he's brother shaped :)"

[supemaeve]

"You don't need powers, you just need to be human"

[yellowocaballero]

I said a little bit about this in a comment a few hours ago (hey kenny) and I actually really felt like saying more.

For all that gay people/Tumblr people/AO3 peope/waves hand are really, really into found family they are actually pretty allergic to conceptualizing familial relationships outside of nuclear family roles.

I see a billion posts on Tumblr about how friendships can be just as important as romantic relationships, if not more, but nobody ever actually writes the friendship as important as a romantic relationship. Or friendships are interpreted as romantic, or friendships are sidelined for the romantic relationship. It's always a weird disparity between what people say are important and people actually find important for me.

So when we do step out of romantic relationship and into gen relationships, we typically enter the trope world of #foundfamily. But the same kind of flattening of characters for the sake of shoving them into yaoi ghost archetypes honestly also really happens with family relationships.

There is always a dad. There's always a mom. There's always siblings (frequently the canon female love interest). Maybe an uncle? Ex-wife if we are feeling sexy that day.

I really rarely see people interested in #foundfamily relationships outside of those boxes. It is overwhelmingly, entirely American-centric. There's no recognition of the unbelievable diversity and breadth of human relationships, or the very many ways there are to love somebody. In fanfic, if there's a much older male character emotional close to younger characters, he's dad mode. And the relationship then follows the character and story beats of the father-child relationship intended to draw out those fuzzy family feelings. Damn, I read found family stuff to get away from the intense claustrophobia of the fandom's favorite ship, I'm not here to get family yaoi ghosted here too.

I think you can create a very unique and engaging relationship if you're wiling to engage with the unknown and uncomfortable. Make a path without the paint by numbers story beats and character arcs. Please stop letting tropes rule your writing instead of construct it.

Write stories about love. Write relationships about loving each other. Just start from there, and don't worry about anything else. Create a relationship that is its own. Let it breathe. It can stand on its own two feet. It'll be a richer relationship and a richer story.