#i don't let myself be mad at people when i know i should be at least a bit frustrated
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btw guys the 'friend' i had a catastrophic falling out with while i was staying with her is the person from all these posts...... yeah i should have fucking known she sucked lmao
#i let soooo much of her shit slide#and now this..... yeah i'm better off without her aren't i#when she was ''coddling'' me about my job chances and giving me ''advice'' she said i should ignore other people and focus on myself#because that's what *she* does#i should have said yes bitch i know you don't think about other people!! you're thee most inconsiderate person i've ever met lmao#and i don't think it helps u succeed it just makes your friends mad at you#🧃
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I'm gonna be a little quiet on here until after I start playing Dragon Age. I don't want to be spoiled and the urge to click on posts that have DA tags blacklisted is mounting. And just like with Inquisition, I want to go in totally blind.
#[static]#I can't wait to see what my friends and mutuals think. it's always so much fun to watch folks play new games together#I've seen a few reviews. but I ultimately want to decide for myself#I've already seen people bickering about really inane stuff just to have something to be negative about#and while there are incredibly valid criticisms of EA among other things ... the stuff I'm seeing -#- is typical fandom stuff that I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole#it's kind of funny how much people can rattle on about a game that isn't out just because they want something new to complain about#and people are 100% allowed to have their opinions and feelings on if they thought a game was good or not but the stuff im talking about is#- like being mad at folks getting invested in characters or talking about how bad they know it's going to be even though they havent played#i think i just hate when people talk with such conviction about how other people should enjoy things that it pisses me off real bad#i saw a take on my for you page about how it's wrong of people to be writing fics about things that havent happened yet#because what if they're wrong and then theyve wasted their time and are gonna be ruinously upset. instant block lol#i thankfully dont see any of this on my dash ... usually just in the dragon age tags or on the for you page which I rarely frequent#just let people enjoy something without getting wound up about it not being the right way. it's just drama for drama's sake#but also feel free to hate it and hate it loudly! so long as you understand it's also ok for others to have a different opinion#it's just the super-online 'everyone is wrong but me' takes that leave me reeling
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also i've noticed that i tend to act differently in my dreams than i do irl
i'm usually very quiet and keep most of my thoughts and everything to myself but for some reason i just let all that go in my dreams, like it's very consistent that i just end up being more confident and actually voice my thoughts and act on things that bother me i know i would never irl
and it feels good to let go which is the worst part bc i do realize that i need to work on being Myself i guess. but it sucks bc. yknow, i don't like making people upset ever under any circumstances. i am very well aware i seek aproval from literally everyone and shit but dude it's frustrating that this feels like just within my reach and then i wake up and i gotta hold everything back bc ofc
idk, i've been thinking about it today bc of a dream i had today
#personal#it's so fucking frustrating to know what's wrong with me but not knowing how to act on it or having the courage to actually go through w it#it's a problem#i feel like i'm holding back parts of me in every interaction i have with people ever#i don't let myself be mad at people when i know i should be at least a bit frustrated#then i guess it bottles up and some things make me blow up every few months when i can't bottle it up anymore#when that happens i just go hide somewhere or do whatever i was doing elsewhere where i know my family won't see me while i calm down#yeah#i should really learn to know when to let steam off so it doesn't get to that point#like i can avoid it for a while but not forever#this stuff probably contributes to my sensory overload if it's not the entire reason i experience it#anyways i'm done#just needed to get that off my mind
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Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic

TW: Violence, Kidnapping, Alastor eating bitches
Description: Alastor's X Wife!Reader who gets kidnapped and how he deals with that
Alastor's relationship with you is a strong one, the two of of you drawn to each other in an almost supernatural way
But you also trust each other's strengths and aren't prone to stepping in each other's fights
Regardless of how powerful you are
I got your pinkie fingers bby go kick his ass
Holds your shopping bags for you while you go kick ass
Unless of course you ask him to
He likes it when you fix his hair afterwards, preening like a giant rooster as you do
THE POINT IS-
It's not like Alastor spends all his time glued to your hip or sending you out with bodyguards
You can take a damn walk by yourself
You do have a target on back though, if not because of your own strength/actions, then because of your husband
So it's not unusual when someone tries to pick a fight with you
But when you're suddenly ambushed and kidnapped, against the fact that you fought hard to avoid it
Fucking holy weapons
That's new
Well I suppose you'll just have to wait for your husband to come and get you out of this mess
*spits out blood*
Not you bragging about how fucked your kidnappers are once Alastor gets there
He's already going to be mad that they kidnapped his wife, but the fact that they've now put hands on you??? Made you bleed???
Oh they're so fucked
So just sit back and look pretty while you wait for your boo to come and rescue you
And you do look pretty
Keep your damn hands off
Alastor knows something is up when you don't come home, knows that someone must've gotten to you
If the old geezer watched tv maybe he would've known a little sooner
Maybe he would've known that your little fight made the news
Tf was he gonna do?? Wait for it to show up in the papers??
BREAKING NEWS!! RADIO DEMON'S BABE WIFE GETS KIDNAPPED AFTER EPIC BATTLE!
But when Angel shows him that you've been kidnapped Alastor literally just-
Makes this face:

Oh he's getting his wife back
RIP Angel's phone 😭
He's visibly very calm about the whole thing though, which makes the others even more worried
"Well then! I suppose I'll have to get Y/N back myself, won't I? You all wait here, I won't be long now~"
Alastor does give them a chance to give you back before he comes and hunts them down
It's one of the most terrifying radio broadcasts people have listened to but this is his WIFE we're talking about
On the inside he is VERY ANGRY
Even if they do bring you back he still eats them
Fuck them he never promised them anything
They took and HURT HIS WIFE
If they don't bring you back then they're going to be subjected to slaughter like they've never known before being eaten
Not him using his massive demonic form to rip apart their safe house
Anyone who doesn't know Alastor like you do will think he's being surprisingly playful about it all
But as his wifers you know he's raging by the look in his eyes 👀 not merely playing with his food
Not wifey just sitting back and admiring Alastor while he works 💅✨️
Damn this is really doing it for me
Admires how elegantly you stretch and rub your wrists after your bindings are undone, so graceful even after taking a beating
"Thank you, Alastor~ Right on time as always~"
He begs to differ
"Anything for you, my dear."
Won't really look at you until you grab his chin and force him to, Alastor giving you a guilty smile
Le kiss
Leans in to touch foreheads with you, the two of relaxing in each other's arms amongst the carnage
Casually licks the blood off your face to ruin the moment before taking your arm
"Now let's get you home, my darling~"
Doesn't leave you alone for the rest of the night, trying to hide the fact that he's fretting over you
You want to take a bath and get cleaned up? He'll help you!
You want to lay down and rest after a stressful day? He's actually pretty tired too so you two should go to bed together
Will 100% broadcast their screaming souls as a warning to anyone else who wants to try that little stunt again
Falls asleep to it actually, one arm wrapped around you as he drifts off so that when he wakes up, he'll know you're right there with him
He doesn't think any less of you, he's been beat before too
Don't remind him
Will absolutely call himself your hero for like a week straight and land himself in the doghouse by the end of it

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Questions To Ask Yourself If You Want To Become The Best Version of Yourself
What do I really care about? What things are really important to me?
What am I good at, and where do I need help? What am I strong in, and what could I get better at?
What do I want to achieve soon and later? What things do I want to do soon, and what are my bigger, long-term goals?
Am I trying new things and not just staying comfy? Am I doing things that might be a bit scary but good for me?
How do I deal with problems and when things go wrong? What do I do when stuff doesn't work out?
Am I nice to myself when things don't go well? Do I treat myself kindly, especially when things are tough?
How do I use my time, and what's most important? How do I plan my day, and what things matter the most?
Am I learning new stuff regularly? Do I keep finding out new things?
Do I have a good balance between work and fun? Do I make sure to have enough time for work and for things I enjoy?
Do I have good friendships and avoid bad ones? Am I friends with people who make me feel good?
Do I take care of my body? Am I eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough?
Do I think about my feelings and thoughts? Do I pay attention to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking?
How do I deal with stress and make myself calm? What do I do when I'm stressed out?
Do I help others and make the world better? Do I do things to make people's lives nicer?
Do I have good habits and get rid of bad ones? Are there things I do every day that are good for me? Are there things I should stop doing?
Do I learn from what people say about me? When people give me advice, do I listen and try to get better?
Do I say no when I need to? Do I tell people when I need space or when something isn't okay for me?
What makes me really happy? What do I like to do that makes me feel great?
Do I use money wisely? Am I good at saving and spending money in smart ways?
Do I believe I can improve and get better? When things are tough, do I think I can get through them and learn something?Am I being kind to others and making them feel good? Do I treat people nicely and make them happy?
Do I learn from things I do wrong? When I make a mistake, do I figure out how to do better next time?
Do I try new things, even if they scare me a little? Do I give things a shot, even if they seem a bit scary?
Am I spending time with people who care about me? Do I hang out with folks who like me for who I am?
Do I eat healthy foods and move my body? Am I eating good stuff and getting some exercise?
Am I sharing and helping others when I can? Do I give stuff to others and lend a hand when I'm able to?
Am I paying attention when people talk to me? Do I really listen when others are speaking to me?
Do I take breaks and do things I enjoy? Do I give myself time to rest and do things I like?
Do I say sorry and make up if I hurt someone? When I make someone feel bad, do I apologize and try to make things better?
Do I imagine good things for myself in the future? Do I think about cool stuff I want to do?
Do I stop and relax when I'm feeling stressed? When I'm worried, do I take a moment to calm down?
Do I ask for help when I need it? Do I tell someone when I can't do something on my own?
Do I try my best, even when things are tricky? Even if it's hard, do I give it my all?
Do I pick up after myself and keep things tidy? Am I good at cleaning up and keeping things in order?
Do I use my time for things that matter most? Do I do important stuff before other things?
Do I think about good things that happened today? Do I remember all the nice things that occurred?
Am I okay with making mistakes and learning from them? Do I know it's okay to mess up sometimes and learn from it?
Do I show appreciation for the people around me? Do I let others know I'm thankful for them?
Do I take deep breaths and relax when I'm upset? When I'm mad, do I breathe and try to calm down?
Do I believe I can do better and keep growing? Do I think I can get better at things and keep getting smarter?
Am I happy with who I am right now? Do I like myself just as I am?
Do I feel okay when things don't go as planned? When stuff doesn't work out, do I stay calm?
Do I think about good things about myself? Do I focus on the nice parts of me?
Do I let go of things that make me sad? When something makes me upset, can I move on from it?
Do I notice when I'm feeling worried or scared? Am I aware of when I'm feeling nervous or frightened?
Do I believe I can do things even if they're tough? Can I do hard things if I try?
Do I try to make my mind peaceful? Do I relax my thoughts when they're racing?
Do I find things that make me feel relaxed? What can I do to feel calm and at ease?
Am I patient when things take time? Can I wait without getting upset?
Do I talk kindly to myself in my head? Do I say nice things to myself in my mind?
Am I curious about things and want to learn? Do I like to find out new stuff?
Do I think about good times and happy memories? Do I remember fun things that happened before?
Do I try to understand how others feel? Can I tell what others are feeling?
Do I imagine nice things happening in the future? Can I think about good stuff that might come?
Do I take time to rest and be by myself? Do I give myself breaks and quiet time?
Do I let go of things I can't change? Can I forget about things I can't do anything about?
Do I believe I can do things even if I don't know how yet? Do I think I can learn new things?
Do I tell myself I'm doing a good job? Do I give myself a pat on the back?
Do I stay calm even if things are really busy? Can I be relaxed even when things are crazy?
Do I know that I can make mistakes and it's okay? Do I understand that everyone messes up sometimes?
#personal improvement#personal growth#personal development#self worth#selfhelp#self improvement#self love#self care#journal#level up journey#positive mindset#success mindset#high value mindset#self help#self esteem#self growth#motivationalquotes#motivating quotes
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inner child pac reading
🦀 pile one,,
I know we're used to being super helpful, but it's good to help yourself too. you should always make sure you're okay first. It's important for us to be okay, even if other people don't think so. we should think so. things are gonna be okay for us. they always are. I want to do the things we like. I don't understand why you care about what people think now. I think we should try doing what we like more, even if it's embarrassing. it doesn't have to take a lot of time. it's just good to have fun sometimes. maybe you can get back into some of our old interests if you want?
it seems like this pile had to mature quickly and was overly generous in childhood. this likely led to some people pleaser habits. when the world said "be nice" and "care about others" you took it to heart, but it felt like you were the only one who did. you felt like you had to be the adult in your childhood and care for other people around you. for some of you, you may have had to care for a parental/older familiar figure or your siblings. you're used to changing your words and your personality to be more digestible and gentle because this strong fear of conflict. you were scared of people being mean to you, so you avoided making anyone mad. it was like you were always tiptoeing over eggshells. now, you don't have to, so there's no point in worrying about people who don't worry about you. you'd be doing yourself and your inner child a favor by doing what you want. it might feel wrong to be yourself, but at least try. I won't delve too much into this part, but I believe some people in this pile also dealt with being oversexualized or being hyper sexual at a young age. I think it's important to know you're more than what you can give others for this pile. please also take a break for the love of god.
🐸 pile two,,
It's hard to feel loved if nobody shows you. at the same time, i don't think I'd want to be loved. it seems weird and uncomfortable. I'm not used to it so it's scary. I still wish that someone would care at least. it feels like nobody else cares. I'm really tired of things being silent and boring all the time. I want to do something fun. I want friends but I want to be by myself. people think I'm weird, but I think they're the weird ones. they can avoid me but I wouldn't wanna be friends with them anyway. it doesn't matter if it's lonely, I don't feel less lonely around people anyway. some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. i heard I look mean or I act mean sometimes, but what if that's just who I am? I don't try to be mean to people. I just don't want people to hurt me.
holy neglect trauma... there's a lot to unpack here 😓 first off, I hope you're alright. it seems like this pile never really learned how to interact with people and is probably still a bit of a people hater. this pile has had to keep strong boundaries and walls on to protect themselves from unfamiliar experiences (being spoken to positively.) if you've never experienced something, it can be scary but you have to stop thinking every little thing is gonna go wrong in your life. it's fine. separate note but I think someone's ancestors are very present here, might want to connect with them if you don't already. you can try to shut down the feelings of loneliness and pretend connection won't help but it does. you're probably not connected with your inner child or you're ashamed of yourself for some reason. trying to be cold won't undo anything or save you from the feelings you're hiding. you'll have to acknowledge them at some point. escapism and forcing ignorance wont help forever. hopefully it'll be sooner than later, but that's your choice. it's okay to be soft, btw.
🐕 pile three,,
I know what I'm talking about. I'm serious. I wish people would take me more seriously. i get good grades, I study hard, I always prove how smart I am. for some reason, people still act like I'm too young and stupid to have opinions or that what I say is just silly, especially with emotions. they act like having emotions makes you a less rational person. some people look down on me for who I am, too. it's not something I can change. whether it's gender, age, or whatever, people always want an excuse to ignore how I feel or what I have to say. I know I'm right though. I don't want us to stop expressing ourselves. I wanna share how I feel to the world.
this pile is extremely opinionated and knows how to share their emotions. this pile is for the "bossy" kids who "should have been lawyers" or "a CEO" according to every adult around them. you were emotional as a child and it was always ignored or joked off as if your feelings were invalid. this pile is definitely natural-born leaders so if you aren't/never have been aspiration-driven or "extra" this pile probably isn't yours. the most healing thing you can do for yourself at this point is speak up. continue to speak about everything. share your opinion more, it's safe now and people will actually take you seriously. be emotional, be too much, be annoying, be talkative, be over-opinionated, be everything you feel like being and don't let anyone talk you out of it. lead your life how you want to. call everything out, even if it means being weird. I definitely feel like some people in this pile had the gifted kid experience or liked to read a lot when they were younger. there's also some unresolved anger that might need to be taken care of. I think speaking up more instead of bottling feelings up will definitely help that, though. you're not stupid or weak for being emotional. just be yourself unapologetically and that's the best thing you can do for your younger self.
#chocoqtelle#tarot#pac reading#free tarot#pick a card#pac tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a picture#pick an image reading#tarot pac#inner child#nostalgia#childhood#free tarot reading#pick a card reading#pickacard#pick a photo#pick a card readings#pick a card tarot reading#pick a pile reading#pick an image#tarot pick a card#pac#love tarot reading#love pac#love tarot free#love tarot#tarot cards#witchblr
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Valentine's Day
Anyone else suck at writing summaries for their stories? Anyways, happy belated Valentine's! I hadn't planned on writing a Valentine's related story, but here we are. Hope you all enjoy! Constructive criticism is always welcome :D Find my masterlist here :)
Pairing(s): Paige Bueckers x female!reader Word count: 4.8k+ Warnings: a bit clinché, swearing, long-distance Summary: Valentine's Day isn't so bad when you get to call with your long-distance best friend, except things don't really go the way you planned. You're not mad about it, though. ------------
Valentine's Day. A day loved by many and hated by even more.
You belonged in the latter category. Why did couples need an extra day to celebrate their relationship? Why would you require an extra day to be nice to your partner when you should do that any other day as well? The only thing this holiday does is make single people feel bad. You’re not bitter about it or anything, it’s just a fact, okay fine, you’re a little salty.
Today is another Valentine that you’re spending single, but this time at least you have plans! While most of your friends were going to be off on dates, you were going to be calling your long-distance best friend and making fun of the whole holiday. To say you were excited to talk to the girl was an understatement.
Being a student-athlete wasn’t easy, Paige had complained about her busy schedule enough for you to know. Not that she had to, you could tell how exhausted she was whenever she found a bit of time to call you between school, homework, and basketball. It saddened you to know the blonde was wearing herself out completely to be the perfect student while also making sure she’s the best basketball player she can be. She barely ever has time to relax, and you’re scared she’s going to give herself a burn-out.
You were glad Paige found time today to hang out with you. You’ve missed her more than you thought you could ever miss anyone, not having heard her voice in weeks and only having gotten short messages to let you know she’s still alive.
“Everyone is gonna be out and about on friday after practice so I’ll have the dorm to myself, FaceTime at 10:30?” Her message had read last Sunday, and you’d immediately agreed. While you knew the Valentine’s Day hangout was just a friendly hangout between best friends, you liked pretending it would be a date.
When you met Paige, you never thought you’d ever fall for her so deeply, let alone be such good friends with her. But here you were, 6 years later, with the biggest crush on her.
When your mom sent you to a random month-long summer camp when you were 16, you’d protested with your whole being. You’d much rather stay home, bundled up on the couch all summer, re-reading your favorite book series, not going to a random camp out in the wild. “You’ll learn so much stuff! And you’ll make friends for life!” She’d said, making you roll your eyes. You didn’t believe a word she’d said, knowing that even if you managed to make friends, you’d only talk to them for that summer and maybe a month after.
You didn’t meet Paige until a week into camp. Her cabin was nowhere near yours, and so you weren’t in the same activity groups as her. One of your roommates had met her one night when she couldn’t sleep and went on a walk. She said you two would get along well, but the more she talked about the blonde, the less likely it seemed to you.
While you were shy, loved staying in, let people walk all over you, and were a bit of a teacher’s pet, 16-year-old Paige was the complete opposite. She was outgoing and friendly, and she loved teasing people even when she didn’t know them. She preferred the outdoors, getting restless when she had to stay in and couldn’t play her sports. She loved breaking the rules and always seemed to get away with it too, her charisma being able to charm all the camp leaders.
When your cabinmate had called her over during dinner, you were incredibly intimidated by the taller girl. She towered over you with a big grin, her blue eyes wide and full of mischief. She was loud and immediately set her eyes on you when she noticed your quietness. When your friends had joked about how shy you were, she’d only grinned wider, saying she was going to get you to come out of your shell.
She managed to win you over a lot faster than you dared to admit. After that dinner, she was always able to spot you in the crowd, coming over to tease you or introduce you to more people. Within a week, you two were glued at the hip. She managed to do what she said she would, making you a little less afraid to speak your mind, while you were able to bring a calm to her that no one knew existed.
You swore saying goodbye to her at the end of camp was one of the hardest things you’d ever had to do. You were quite dramatic at times. Sadly, you’d been right about the not staying friends thing. You two sent each other two letters once camp was over and called five times before life got too busy with school, extracurriculars, and new friends. After that, you didn’t talk for two years.
The next time you saw her again, you thought you were dreaming. You were touring different universities and had just finished the UConn one. Paige had managed to get even taller, her muscles were more defined, and she’d finally found her style. You thought you were mistaken at first, but then her bright eyes found yours, and a wide smile made its way onto her face. She excused herself from the conversation she was in and jogged over to you, not letting you say more than a hi before pulling you into a hug. You let yourself fall into the comfortable, familiar feeling, sinking into her as you hug her back.
This time, when you two parted and said you’d stay in touch, you actually did. Sadly, you didn’t end up going to UConn, instead choosing a university over two hours away from the blonde. Keeping in contact was easier now that you were older and more mature. You called each other multiple times a month, texting almost daily, and even met up IRL whenever you could. You’d attended quite a few of her games, and she even surprised you on your birthday last year.
That birthday is your favorite one so far. Paige had surprised you with flowers and a book you’d been wanting for ages. She spoiled you like crazy that day, even staying the night at your dorm before having to go back to UConn. The day after was the day you realized you were head over heels for her. You became aware of the fact that the butterflies you felt in your stomach weren’t just from being excited at seeing your best friend, they were actually because you had a crush on her.
You never told her about your feelings, however. You figured she only saw you as a friend and knew that there were hundreds of girls throwing themselves at her feet, so why would she choose someone who didn’t even live in the same state as her?
You shake yourself out of your thoughts as you readjust yourself on your bed. Seeing it’s already 10:28, you open your camera to make sure you look okay. Patting down the flyaway hairs, you smile at your reflection. Closing the app, you grab your water bottle to take a sip and calm your growing nerves.
Knowing you’ll be even more nervous if you keep staring at the seconds tick by, you open TikTok and scroll on your FYP to pass the time. You quickly realize that wasn’t the best idea, seeing as there are only edits of Paige on your screen. Your face becomes a bright red as you watch the videos and save them all. You close the app after seeing an edit that makes you feel certain things, fanning your face as you try to get rid of your blush.
When you look at the time again, you shake your head in amusement. 10:35. In the years that you’ve known the blonde, there haven’t been many instances in which the girl has been on time. Usually, it bothers you to no end when someone is late. It makes you feel as though they don’t respect you enough to be on time. With the blonde, it’s different, however.
It’s cute to see her all flustered, apologizing again and again for her tardiness. It makes you laugh when she pouts at you, complaining about how her laptop had to do another update, how her alarm didn’t go off, or how Geno always has it out for her during the practices before a call. You grin when she leaves out the part where she was once again being a menace at practice, teasing her about it after Nika texts you to let you know Paige will be late and why.
You send her a quick text, asking if she managed to piss off Geno again, before checking to see if the Croatian had texted you anything. After another 5 minutes pass, you frown a little, slightly worried about the blonde. When your phone buzzes, you sit up straighter, fluffing up your hair a bit as you prepare to start the call. Grabbing your phone, you expect a “Sorry I’m late! You ready?” message, but you deflate instead.
“Hey, sorry I can’t call 2day, feeling exhausted, rain check?” It reads.
Of course, this isn’t the first time Paige has had to cancel on you. You understood that her busy schedule left her incredibly exhausted, and you knew she hated herself every time she had to cancel. Usually she pushed through, calling you anyway and falling asleep within 10 minutes of the call. She’d apologize profusely, a big frown on her face as her eyes turn a murky blue in sadness. You always told her you didn’t mind, you actually found it cute how her tired eyes would slowly blink at you before finally closing.
The fact that she actually canceled this time meant she didn’t feel good at all, so you let her know it was okay and that you’d talk soon. Once you wish her sweet dreams as she goes to take a nap, you close your laptop with more force than necessary.
While you typically wouldn’t mind all that much, you did this time. You missed her like crazy, you hadn’t had the easiest week, all your friends were out having fun, and to top it all off, you were about to have your period, making you even crankier than usual. You sit in silence for a moment as you try to blink away your tears. You press your palms to your eyes as you shake your head. Slapping your cheeks softly, you try to snap out of it. “Don’t be such a little baby,” you think to yourself.
You get up and stretch before pausing in the middle of the room. You look around a little lost, unsure of what to do now that your plans fell through. You bite your lip as you think about the tub of ice cream you left in your freezer for when you had a bad day. You pout as you realize you’ll spend yet another Valentine’s Day watching a cheesy movie that’ll make you cry into your ice cream.
Right as you’re about to open the freezer, you hear a knock at the door. You throw your head back, holding in a groan as you debate pretending no one is home. You knew it was most likely your roommate, who knew you were going to be home, having forgotten her keys again, so you make your way over to the door.
You take a quick peek into the mirror to check if your eyes look red from your mini breakdown, silently cursing when they do. Rolling your eyes at yourself, you open the door, ready to tell your roommate to not mention it.
You freeze as your jaw drops open. Paige is standing in the hallway, holding a bouquet of red roses and a big teddy bear, a wide smile carved on her face. “Surprise,” she says, her voice soft as she takes you in. You cover your mouth with your hand as tears well up in your eyes again. “Damn these hormones,” you think, blinking to make them go away.
Seeing your watery eyes, the blonde’s smile softens as she mutters a “C’mere.” You fall into her open arms, squeezing her tightly as you nuzzle your face into the crook of her neck. Paige leans her head against yours, pressing a gentle kiss against your temple. She slowly shuffles you backward into your dorm, using her foot to close the door behind her.
Once you realize the way you’re gripping onto her, you let her go, heat creeping up your face. You feel a bit embarrassed, but the feeling gets taken over by the happiness of finally being near the blonde again. “What’re you doing here?” You breathe out as you look at her in childlike wonder. “Wanted to spend Valentine’s with my favorite girl,” she replies, shoving the flowers and bear towards you. The butterflies in your stomach flutter around as you take the gifts with a wide smile, your cheeks bright red at the nickname.
You quickly put the flowers in a vase with some water before setting the teddy bear down on the couch. When you turn back towards Paige, you see her already staring at you with a soft look in her eyes. You skip back over to her, flinging yourself back into her arms, making her chuckle. “Thank you,” you mutter against her shirt, fondness seeping through in your voice.
You pull back slightly with a loving smile, looking up at her but not leaving her arms. She moves one hand away from your back, bringing it towards your face as she rubs your cheek. “Anything for you,” she mumbles as she takes in your face like she’s trying to memorize every bit of it. You can feel your face heat up, but you can’t look away. Your heart beats faster as you admire her, waiting to see what’s on her mind as you see different emotions swim around in her eyes.
Softly clearing her throat, she steps back nervously as she takes an envelope out of her pocket. She shifts her weight from foot to foot as she looks down at the envelope, her throat bobbing as she swallows harshly. “I, uh,” she starts, biting her lip before looking up at you with an anxious yet hopeful look. “This is for you,” she says, handing you the envelope. You raise an eyebrow at her as you ask, “What’s this?”
“Jus open it,” she says, fidgeting with her sleeve. You open the envelope tentatively, a little nervous at how anxious the usually confident girl is. Folding open the pink letter, you scan the page, smelling her perfume as if she sprayed it on the paper. You smile in adoration as you see the usual scribbly handwriting, this time a little less messy. Taking a quick glance at the girl, you see her rub her neck, nodding at you to read it. Your heart skips a beat as you read the words.
It’s… It’s a love confession.
You grip the paper a little tighter as you read about how Paige has had a crush on you for the past two years and how much you mean to her. Your eyes stay glued to the page until you reach the end. “Will you be my valentine?” The last sentence reads.
You look up at her in shock, excitement bubbling in your chest. The athlete is still looking at you, her eyes wide and hopeful. “Really?” You whisper, not wanting to break the intimate atmosphere. She nods her head as she bites her lip shyly. A broad smile spreads across your face as you nod enthusiastically. “Yes!” You say, your voice a bit higher as you’re unable to contain your joy.
“Yeah?” Paige grins, her confident, cheerful self showing again. She grabs you again, lifting you up as she twirls you around. You can’t help the laugh that escapes your lips at the giddiness you’re feeling. “Okay, uhh, I’ve made dinner plans for tonight, but I was thinking we could just chill here for a bit and then go get lunch in that cute little café we went to last time I was here!” The blue-eyed girl beams.
You’re already nodding your head before she finishes her sentence, knowing you’d do anything with the girl. Seeing as you still have some time before you need to start getting ready, you drag the basketball player to your couch. You let her sit down first before settling down next to her and swinging your legs over her lap. You’d been in this position plenty of times before, but those times never felt as intimate as this time.
Your heart thrums in your chest as Paige immediately rests her hands on your legs, rubbing them softly as she relaxes into her seat. You hold your new teddy bear against your chest as you watch the blonde fondly. Catching you staring, she sends you a smirk, making you look down with a chuckle.
“So, how’d you manage to get coach to let you skip practice?” You ask, your head tilted in question. “Oh, that was easy, he loves me, so he said he’d let me skip for once,” she replies smoothly. You huff out a laugh as she says that, mischief clear in her eyes. “You’re such a liar,” you grin back. “Okay, okay, maybe that’s not exactly how it went,” she rolls her eyes playfully. You look at her triumphantly as she gives your leg a little squeeze, more amused than annoyed that you caught her. “He said I could skip, but that my next practice is gonna be extra hard.”
You look at her in amusement but also slight worry. “You didn’t have to do this, you know? I would’ve been happy with just a phone call. I don’t want you to work yourself to the point of passing out,” you reply, your brows furrowed slightly in concern. She shakes her head, bringing one hand to your face to smooth out your frown. “I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. Besides, I think I would’ve gone insane if I didn’t see you soon,” she says, her voice more vulnerable than you’re used to.
Your lips curve back into a smile as she continues. “And stop worrying about me so much, I’m okay. If things get too much, I’ll let you know, I promise.” She sticks out her pinky finger, grinning at you as you interlace yours with hers.
You two keep talking until it’s time to get ready for lunch. Seeing as Paige is already dressed, you leave her on your couch as you walk up to your closet to pick a nice outfit before running to the bathroom to put yourself together. Once you’re satisfied, you return to the couch, blushing as you see the blonde check you out. You raise your eyebrow and send her a teasing grin, letting her know you caught her. She simply sends you a smirk back as she gets up.
There’s not a moment of silence on the way to the café as you two talk about the latest things in your lives. You talk about classes, basketball, family, friends, and the weird dreams you’ve had. The conversation continues to flow during lunch and into the afternoon as you walk around the city with Paige. A smile is permanently etched into your face as you stroll around with your hand in the blonde’s. While her hand is a bit rough from playing so much basketball, it’s still very soft. She rubs her thumb across your knuckles as she animatedly talks about the shenanigans she’s been up to with the team.
When you stop for ice cream, you order your favorite flavor before noticing Paige taking another flavor you love. It confuses you a little, knowing she doesn’t really like it, but you don’t really pay any mind to it as you continue rambling about what your professor did last class. When you sit down, you enjoy your ice cream as you listen to the girl in front of you. She takes small bites in between sentences, making her still have half of it left when you’re done with yours. As she talks, she starts feeding you some of her cup, making you smile at how cheesy you two are being. You don’t mind, though, this is exactly what you’d dreamed of.
When you notice the blonde isn’t eating her ice cream anymore, only feeding you, you go to protest. You don’t get the chance to, however, as the girl knew what you were up to. She quickly shoves another spoonful into your mouth when you open it to speak, rolling your eyes playfully. She grins as she shrugs a little.
Once you two are done, you walk back towards your dorm, silently thanking your roommate for having her own plans and not being home. Once inside, you guide the blonde to your bed, plopping down as you put on a random show for background sounds. You spend hours talking about everything and nothing, laughing harder than you have in months.
“So, this dinner, where are we going?” You ask Paige as you crane your neck up from where you’re lying against her. She pretends to lock her mouth and throw away the key, making you roll your eyes. “You’re so unhelpful, y’know that?” She laughs, knowing it’s true. “Can you at least tell me what the vibe is? Do I need to dress fancy?” You question as you get up and walk over to your closet. You rifle through your options as the athlete speaks. “Semi-formal, I guess,” she shrugs, getting up herself. “Where are you going?” You ask as she starts walking towards the door.
“Gonna grab my bag from my car, I’m not going to dinner in this outfit,” she replies, making you nod in understanding. Once she’s gone, you pause for a moment, pinching yourself to make sure you’re not dreaming. When you know for sure you’re not, you let out an excited squeal before calming yourself down and getting ready. Once you’re dressed, you sit down in front of your mirror to apply some light make-up.
You hear Paige walk back in, having borrowed your keys, as you’re applying mascara. Once you’re done, you look at her through the mirror and send her a bashful smile. She doesn’t smile back, too enthralled by your beauty. You shake your head as you giggle, grabbing your lip gloss. You lean in a bit closer to the mirror, applying a thin layer of gloss to make your lips shine. You glance over at Paige, seeing her eye the applicator as you glide it across your lips. She swallows harshly when you make eye contact, looking away sheepishly as she walks over to get ready in the bathroom.
You scroll through Instagram as you wait for the blonde, liking the Valentine’s Day posts from your friends. When you hear the bathroom door open, you glance up, your throat going dry. Paige always looked gorgeous, but right now, you think she’s never looked better. She smiles softly at you as you take her in. She doesn’t tease you about the way you’re basically drooling over her, knowing she’s just as enamored.
“You look beautiful,” she says, grabbing your hand and giving it a soft squeeze. “Says you,” you grin with rosy cheeks. Her eyes twinkle with happiness as she leads you to the door. “Oh, one sec!” You mutter, running back towards your dresser to grab something. You quickly put the tiny box in your bag before walking back over to Paige. “Alright, I’m ready,” you say, rocking back and forth in excitement.
You walk towards the taller girl’s car in comfortable silence, your hand in hers, fingers interlinked. You let her open the passenger door for you, chuckling at her as she gives you a bow. “M’lady,” she tries to say seriously, but she can’t stop the smile growing on her face. “You’re such a dork,” you reply as you get in, hoping she doesn’t notice the bright color of your cheeks.
Once you two are on the road, Paige takes one hand off of the steering wheel, putting her arm on the center console. You look at it for a moment before grabbing her hand and interlacing your fingers once more. You take a peek at the blonde to see her reaction and feel your stomach flutter when you see her sporting a tiny, content smile.
Once you get to the restaurant, you look around in awe. It was beautiful. You still can’t believe that all of this is real. That Paige Bueckers, your best friend, is taking you out on a date and treating you like a queen. Your cheeks hurt from how much you’ve been smiling all day.
You two share a bottle of wine as you enjoy your food, letting one another taste each other’s dishes, grinning when you find the other’s food better. You giggle as you switch your plates around, not paying any mind to the looks you’re receiving. After finishing your meal, you order dessert, sharing the sweet treat, feeling pretty full from dinner.
Once you’re done, Paige pulls out a wrapped box with a tiny ribbon bow. For a moment you’re confused where it came from, but you quickly dismiss your confusion. “Paige, you didn’t have to get me anything! You’ve already paid for everything today,” you whine, feeling bad about how much the girl is spending on you. “Oh hush,” she says, “I love spoiling my girl.” “Your girl, huh?” You tease with a grin. She rolls her eyes lightheartedly. “Open itttt,” she says impatiently.
You giggle as you open it, letting out a gasp as you see the bracelet inside. “Paige…” you breathe out, “this is beautiful.” “Yeah? You like it?” She asks, hoping you’re speaking the truth. You nod eagerly, flashing her a toothy smile as you brush your thumb over the P charm. “I was scared it would be too possessive, giving you something with my initial on it for our first date,” she admits, scratching her temple. “I love it, P,” you say, letting her help you put it on.
You grab your bag, pulling out your own gift box. “You didn’t,” Paige grins as you hand it to her. “I did,” you grin back. “How? You didn’t even know I was coming today,” she asks, giving you a curious look. “I got this a while back and was just waiting for the perfect moment to give it to you,” you say, your heart drumming in your ears as you nervously wait for her reaction. Her face lights up at the sight of the new chain you’d gotten her. She lifts it out of the box, letting it shine in the dim restaurant lights.
She taps the tiny basketball pendant as it swings on the chain. The blonde sends you a radiant smile, her eyes shining with love. “Thank you,” she says, adoration clear in her voice. You raise one finger, making her pause. You rummage in your bag, grabbing a tiny plastic bag, before handing it to her with a smirk. She holds it close, laughing as she realizes what it is. Opening the bag, she grabs the tiny charm, twirling it between her fingers. “I see we had the same idea,” she smiles, her cheeks becoming a soft pink at the thought of wearing your initial on her neck.
You help her put it on before waving over the waiter for the bill. You begrudgingly let Paige pay, knowing you’d never win that fight against her. You hold her hand as you walk towards her car, squeezing it softly. Your heart feels like it’s going to burst with joy and adoration. Once you reach the car, you look at the taller girl as she pauses.
Her eyes flit over your face as she softly grabs your hips. She steps closer, gently pushing you against the car. She leans in closer, her eyes looking into yours with a questioning look. Your heart skips a beat as you nod lightly. The blue-eyed girl leans even closer, her lips hovering over yours for a moment to give you an extra second to change your mind. When you don’t, she presses her lips against yours in a slow but deep kiss. You grab her face, trying to pull her even closer as you close your eyes. After a minute, you pull away slightly to catch your breath. You move your hands towards her neck as you play with her baby hairs. The smile she sends you makes you weak in the knees, making you silently thank God that you’re leaning against the car.
“Be mine?” Paige breathes, her question sounding almost like a statement. You don’t need to think twice as you nod, pulling her into another kiss.
You know it won’t be easy, being in a relationship while you’re miles apart, but you know that it’s all worth it when you get to call this amazing girl yours.
#paige bueckers x reader#paige x reader#paige bueckers oneshot#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x you#oneshot#imagine#uconn huskies#uconn wbb#wlw fanfic#bapeach writes
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Come with us
Alexia Putellas x Cata Coll x Jenni Hermoso x Reader
Summary: Alexia, Jenni and Cata make a bet about you
Warnings: Smut Ahead 18+
WC: 2854

please read this text before going to the story please don't be so strict with me but rather write to me what I can do better or what you wished were different. also tell me if you find the story too long or too short.. Also write to me if you liked it. My requests are always open (and English is not my first language so don't be mad at me) and if you have any ideas for the future about who I should write please tell me… the topics I will choose by myself unless you have a request for one or two people I will Read everything.. in the next survey I will take a few ideas from the old survey and new ones…. now read and I hope you like it <33
It was your third course with the Spanish national team and you were nominated for the Olympics. You played your first group game against Japan. You won 2-1 and you were really relieved because Japan was an opponent you lost to in the 2023 World Cup
You all wanted to celebrate it (at least toast to it) even though it was forbidden to you all because the breaks between the games were so short. You all still sat down together in the hotel bar and celebrated. For some people it wasn't just a toast, they were visible drunk
During the three courses you had noticed a tension between you and Cata. Her hands were often on your hips or caressing your butt. She was always visibly close to you and was staring at you . Her eyes were always either on your tits or your ass, when you have seminars, her hand was dangerously close to your leg
Jenni and Alexia, the two best friends, of course noticed it and had some fun with it. You didn't know if they knew more than you about why Cata was like that, but they pushed you onto her lap or always tried to keep a place free next to Cata At movie nights you lie next to Cata or just nonsensical jokes
The four of you were sitting together at a table. The three of you were drunk. Your not very . Once again Alexia made a stupid joke
“Hey, Cata is touching you under the table,”
she says laughing and Jenni playfully hits her on the shoulder
“I bet y/n can’t even stand one night with Cata.” spits jenni shakily Alexia laughs and Cata curses something in Spanish in her direction.
Jenni rummages in her pants pocket and slaps a 10€ bill on the table "10€ I'll make her come more often than Cata ever will" she half screams and laughs loudly
"20€ I'll make her come more often than the two of you combined" snaps Alexia
„ 50€ she won't have an orgasm with ya’ll“ throws cata on the table
You sat there with your jaw dropped. You were shocked that they had actually just bet 80€ on who would make you cum more often
You don't know what, but there's something about it that you like. Jenni and Alexia exchange looks and Cata looks straight at you
You didn't think they were serious, but everyone suddenly looked at you, looking for confirmation
You were speechless but Alexia spoke up "Come with us, I want to win the €80" she said with a horny smile. You looked at Cata, her eyes were darker than you've ever seen them before and Jenni leaned back and raised her arms Cata who was sitting next to you grabbed your hand and pulled you up, jenni slap onto the table with a "vamos chicas let's win money"
you push your way through the mass of your team
Aitana held Jenni's shoulder and pulled her back "You all go, Jenni"
"Si Alexia and y/n aren't feeling so well, they must have had too much to drink," Jenni said, laughing and moving away from Aitana.
The way to the hotel room was quiet. Nobody said a word. You ran in front of the three. They gave you priority When you all Alexia and Jenni's room arrived, Alexia pressed the card against the sensor and the door opened. Cata came close to your ear, "Go ahead cariño" and hit you on your ass to push you forward
You knew full well that the rest of the night would be all about you because they bet on you and they will give you so many orgasms until you beg for them to stop. It's not about the money for them, no, it's about who is better the Three always want to be the best and it's not about money
Alexia stepped in front of you to pull you in for a deep kiss. Her hands were on your neck and your hands pulled lightly on her undershirt to keep her close. Her tongue slid through your lips and bit gently. You felt hands on your back You couldn't place who they belonged to but they pulled up your shirt and other hands pulled down your pants and thong. You broke the kiss with Alexia and looked back briefly to see that Cata was the one who pulled on your shirt and finally gave it to you Over the head Cata kissed the exposed skin and Alexia started licking your neck while Jenni kissed your lower back and one of her hands found its way to your clitoris she made firm slow circles and making you whimper
so many hands and so many feelings at once you didn't know if it was too much for you but you liked the tension you took your bottom lip between your teeth and let out a deep moan cata says in a light whisper "Let's take her to bed mh" Jenni and Alexia let go of you and push you towards the bed "on your back" says alexia dominantly you do as you are told and automatically spread your legs to put yourself on full display for the three of them they stand in front of you and watch your helpless little body jenni took your knees in her hands and bent over to kiss you, her hands rest on your stomach and you noticed that the mattress gave way left and right. Alexia took one of your breasts in her hand and Cata licked big circles and placed kisses on the other side. You bite Jenni's lip and breathe heavily “You will be a good girl for us and let us use you” Jenni smiles and attracts the attention of Alexia and Cata, whose hands are now squeezing your thighs
You nod eagerly and Cata bites your nipple hard and making you scream. "You'll use your words, you understand," says Cata, laughing and looking at the smiling Alexia. "Use me and I hope I'll know later which one of you is better in bed." Jenni smiles and looks down at you. She licks her lips as her eyes meet your dripping pussy. She leans down, giving Cata and Alexia leeway all over your upper body. She places kisses and bites on the inside of your thighs, making you twitch and you try to look down but alexia grabs your neck and turns your gaze into her eyes "you won't look down and you won't move until you cum" alexia says seriously and cata starts kissing your cheek "my god cata Finally kiss me" you say snippily and Jenni starts laughing "Cata she's trying to give you orders" Alexia laughs lightly and Cata kisses you hard so that you can hardly breathe and Alexia's mouth is all over your breasts
alexia is hard on your breasts it hurts but the pain turns into lust, lust for jenni, Jenni finally shoots her tongue into your wet hole and your lips tilt away from Cata to moan you have never felt anything so good "oh my fuck- Jenni fuck" you try to move but Alexia's strong arms hold you in place "Didn't you understand what Alexia said to you earlier, should I tie you up huh cariño" cata says with a eye roll you let out a deep sigh and your head falls back onto the mattress "I'm telling you she lets herself be handled like a submissive slut, right?" alexia says laughing You roll your eyes and try to concentrate on Jenni's talented tongue, which is getting faster around your bundle of nerves and you can barely hold yourself in place
your hips rock into jenni's mouth and you moan pornographically the whole room is filled with your moans "she's going to come alexia" cata says with a smile "make her beg cata i want to hear her begging for jenni" cata slides to your ear " Do you want to come, baby? You can't believe how long I've been wanting to see you come." Cata says and takes your earlobe between her teeth. Alexia grabs Jenni's hair and pushes her head closer to your pussy. "Fuck Jenni, your tongue feels so good. Fuck pleas - I'm-fuck"
“No,” Alexia says quickly and snidely. “Make her beg,” she adds "beg for jenni be a good girl for us all you have to do is beg and jenni will save you, do it for me i want to hear you use your pretty mouth" cata says between kisses against your face "Jenni let me come, I'm so close"
“Something is missing,” says Alexia seriously "please jenni please i need you so much let me come" "Then come for me" Jenni says against your pussy and the vibration sends waves through your body. Alexia pinches your nipples and with a deep scream you come and your back arches upwards. Alexia kisses your neck and praises you for how well you're doing
jenni slowly moves away from you and kisses you the taste of your juices makes you whimper "let me sit on your face and cata take care of you mh" you nod eagerly Alexia grabbed a bunch of your hair and pulled it you moaned in pain "we told you earlier to use your words" Alexia spits you roll your eyes again and say slightly annoyed "Cata please use my pussy until you're finished" Jenni stands up and takes off her pants crawls back onto your chest she moves her body over your face you wanted to put your hands on her strong thighs but she pushes them away "don't touch me I'll use you" says jenni and sits down She takes your head in her hands and moves you to where she needs you. She lets out a deep moan and you feel strong hands circling your wet hole "cariño you are so wet, did jenni fuck you so well mh?" Cata asks you and you answer with a "mhh" because your mouth is full of Jenni's pussy
Jenni starts to rub against your mouth and Alexia has sat down on the back of the bed to watch how good they make you feel. One of Cata's fingers dives into you, not quickly, just very deeply. You moan against Jenni's pussy and reach into the bed sheets breathing faster jenni looks down at you with her mouth open "bonita you're going to make me cum do you hear" with these words jenni comes into your mouth and rides her orgasm out on your face she gets off of you and admires your glistening lips cata adds another finger and slowly get faster which makes you moan hard "Cata don't stop you feel so fucking good" you moan loudly you don't know what to do with your feelings and look over at Alexia and Jenni who has now sat down next to Alexia and with her head pressed on her shoulder you look into Alexia's eyes and she looks at you like what’s happening here is all she's wanted since you've been here
Alexia whispers in Jenni's ear "Touch me Jenni, I want to feel you" Jenni looks back and forth between you and Alexia. You lie there and moan so loudly that you can hear it in the next town. Cata is so good with her fingers, Jenni strokes Alexia's thigh and presses her head against her neck. One of her hands slips into Alexia's hands and starts to finger her. Alexia's head falls back against her neck and lets out a quiet whimper from her. Cata hovers over you and takes your neck in her hand. "Look at me I want you to look into my eyes when you cum " you look deep into Cata's eyes and moan her name softly. Cata's hand grips tightly around your cheek and she inserts a third finger into you. You moan soundlessly and roll your eyes back Cata's face comes closer to yours "I said look at me when you cum if you don't look at me I will stop I swear to you"
Cata says breathing hard you find it hard to keep your eyes in place you do your best to look at her Cata says "come baby come on my fingers" you let go and your legs start shaking hard you're a moaning mess and When you come down from your high, you look over at a moaning Alexia who has already had two orgasms from Jenni's fingers alone
Alexia dedicates herself to you and moves. She wants you. You know it very well. She wants you begging and crying. Your whole face is red and you are out of breath after just two orgasms. She slides over to you and caresses you. "I know Bebita pshh, let me use your pussy and i cum inside you mh and you'll make cata feel good" cata and jenni know exactly what's coming next jenni pulls you over to her by your hips cata takes off her pants "get on your knees and hold your ass in The air for alexia“ cata sits down against the backrest and spread her legs Jenni pulls you onto your knees
Alexia comes back with a strap on around her hips. You hear her feet running on the floor. You try to move backwards but Jenni grabs the back of your head and leads you to Cata's middle. Cata's head falls back and she lets out a deep sigh. "She's good with her mouth huh"
"She's not just pretty, she can also do something" says Cata moaning slightly. Alexia Knits behind you and gives you a slap on the ass, which makes you moan against Cata. Cata's legs start to wobble and she pushes your head closer to her. Alexia you by doing this she moves her fingers back and forth on your hole jenni rubs your back and kisses your temple alexia slowly inserts her strap into you and you hold on to cata's thighs and breathe openly against cata jenni whispers encouragement to you "look how good you are cata "Let Alexia come inside you." With a deep moan she comes and Jenni rubs Cata's stomach. Cata comes down and takes your head in her hands and lets it rest on her thigh. Alexia grips your ass harder and becomes faster. Your moans become audibly louder and Jenni doesn't stop her back for a second to fondle
Alexia grabs your hips tightly and pushes harder and harder into you. She lets out a sigh. "Do you like being taken like that, so exposed in front of us?" she says and hits your now red ass again. "Fuck Alexia, yes please come inside me wants to feel you" alexia speeds up and starts to moan jenni spreads kisses down your back and cata slides through your scalp your legs start to give in "alexia i'm close-" you stutter "wait for her" cata says and pulls up a little your hairline "I'm close too, just a little bit Bebita, you're doing so well" Alexia praises you, you become hazy, your vision becomes unclear until you feel your release getting closer and closer "Cariño come for Alexia, show her how good she makes you feel" after these Words, you only needed a few more thrusts until Alexia pushed you both over the edge. You moaned her name and her hands squeezed your hips. She let go of you and only moved away from you when you had come down
Jenni turns you onto your back and lays you gently next to Cata and gives you a small kiss on the forehead. Your breathing becomes more regular. Cata hasn't stopped stroking you and she pulls you into her arms. After a few minutes Alexia comes back and lies down “When are you finally going to reveal your love” says Alexia and Jenni starts laughing “Who actually won now?” you tease back playfully and snub against Jenni. Everyone laughs "Shut up or I'll fuck you until you forget our names and don't know anything about this shitty bet" says Alexia laughing. Cata got you something to eat and Jenni ran a bath for you
I hope you enjoyed it <33
#lucy bronze#patri guijarro#woso#woso community#woso fanfics#fitblr#woso appreciation#woso blurbs#woso imagine#woso one shot#woso x reader#woso smut#woso soccer#alexia putellas#alexia x reader#cata coll#cata coll x reader#jenni hermoso#jenni hermoso x reader
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i have this hc that the rest of the batkids are getting comfortable in going to Jason and Roy's place, and just know that Jason won't get mad because of Lian's presence.
[i promised myself i won't make the scenerios too long]
---
Jason walks out the room to get some water from the kitchen, when he hears the kitchen cabinet open.
and viola, it's Tim and Steph opening a box of fruit loops cereal.
Jason, tries to keep his voice low: What in the actual fuckery are you both doing here in the middle of the night?
Steph, munching on some food, raises both of her hands: This was Tim's idea. I'm innocent.
Tim, shrugs: Lian said I could have some of her fruit loops.
Jason: I swear, Replacement, I'm going to-
Lian, walking from behind the counter, rubs her eyes: Don't be mad, Jayjay. I told Uncle Tim and Aunt Steph they could take some of my food.
Jason, frustrated at this point: Did you wake her up?
Tim and Steph both shake their heads.
Roy, from their room: Jaaaaaybird, let the kids eat!
Jason, sighing, takes Lian's hand slowly: Let's get you back to bed, Princess.
Lian, sleepily: Don't forget to add to the swear jar, Jayjay.
Tim and Steph laugh quietly by the time Jason and Lian disappear for their sights, and continue to eat.
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at 5 in the morning, Roy shrieks from the hallway. Jason immediately goes out to check.
Roy, a hand on his chest: Damn it. Cass scared the living hell out of me.
Jason, raises his brow: Cass???
Roy points to the living room. Cass is sitting comfortably on the couch, still in her Black Bat suit, but cowl off. Lian has her head on her lap as Cass runs her fingers softly on her hair.
Cass looks up at the two men, but doesn't say anything. then smiles down as she sings a low lullaby to Lian.
Jason: Uh, I think it's best if we let her be.
Roy, nods: I agree.
---
as Jason and Roy are getting comfortable on bed, Lian knocks on their bedroom door.
Jason: I already put her to bed. I think it's the chocolate milk, Roy. She gets a little hyper before bed.
Roy, getting up from his position, chuckles: Maybe munchkin got hungry. Again.
Jason chuckles with him, putting the blanket higher on his upper body.
Jason is not too sure, but he dozes off for a few minutes. and reaches for Roy on his side, but he isn't there. thinking, Lian did get hungry, he stands up from the bed and exits the room.
he should have just continued to sleep.
on the couch, there's Dick, still in his suit, a few bruises on his face and a bandaged leg, and Duke, on his suit as well, a few bruises on his face too, but no bandages whatsoever. Lian is sat between them as the three of them watch an animated show on the television.
Jason, standing a distance from the couch, crosses his arms on his chest: Last time I checked, this is supposed to be a private apartment for three people. This isn't a vacation home-
in sync, Dick, Duke and Lian shush him, their eyes glued on the screen.
Roy laughs from the kitchen.
Jason, approaches him: What's going on here?
Roy, wipes his hands on the kitchen towel: Lian let them in. Dick is injured-
Jason: Good.
Roy, pulls Jason close by the waist: Dick, your brother, is injured. I patched him up. Duke thought it was a good idea for them to stop by here to rest.
Jason: And they're ruining Lian's sleeping hours.
Roy, kisses his temple: It's a Saturday, Jaybird.
Jason, murmurs: Sure.
Roy, smiles: You're such a dad now.
Jason blushes, hiding his face on Roy's shoulder.
---
as Roy brings Jason on top of him, they hear Lian's loud giggles from outside their room.
Jason, looks down at Roy: I thought she's asleep already.
they both stand up to check on Lian.
and it's her and Damian on the living room floor, a kitten between them. the kitten is wrapped with Robin's cape.
Jason: Looks like the brat found another kitten.
Jason and Roy stare lovingly at the scene for a few minutes. Lian smiles brightly, patting the kitten gently. Damian is also smiling, caressing the animal on his arms.
#the next week it's bruce's turn to visit the apartment#he brings some toys and jelly beans for lian in his suit#cute moments for this family#they deserve it#batfamily#batbros#jason todd#roy harper#lian harper#jayroy#tim drake#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#dick grayson#duke thomas#damian wayne#batman#dc comics#yel chronicles#batkids
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unexpected. SMAU. LH44. part one.
lewis hamilton x tattoo artist! reader
in which reader is the last person someone you expect to find in the paddock and that is what makes him drawn to you. or lando's tattoo artist friend visits the paddock to tattoo zak brown after the miami gp win and the internet goes mad.
warnings- cursing
part 2
main faceclaim is ryan ashley malarkey
y/ntattoos posted two stories


story one written: lando keeps on trying to get me to wear papaya.
story two written: because apparently my current outfit is not "race ready"
f1wags


liked by user 4, f1fan7, landofan3 and 52,318 others
f1wags: a new face was spotted in the mclaren hospitality suite. admin snapped this picture and then watched as the woman took a picture. admin asked the other woman in the picture who the girl was she explained it was y/n y/ln and then rushed off. who is this girl?
landofan3: admin i would have expected you to know that. this [email protected]/ntattoos she is best friends with lando's cousin jenna and has known lando since he was born. her being in the paddock makes me think that zak is getting that tattoo.
user4: whoever she is i hope she isn't a wag, the face tattoos are a bit much
user7: she is just a tattoo artist not a wag don't worry
f1fan7: omg y/n is in the paddock, zak brown better run
user10: who is she?
f1fan7: one of the best tattoo artists in the uk, celebrities fly to london just to get tattooed by her. she is the artist behind harry styles' fern tattoos and she did rhianna's hand tattoos.
user23: so idk really know who she is but did you guys see the video of the other drivers when she walked past with lando. i stg lewis almost broke is neck and daniel's jaw dropped.
mclaren posted two stories tagging y/ntattoos


story one written: the artist
story two written: the art
y/ntattoos









liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, lewishamilton and 923,459 others
y/ntattoos: so i have noticed that since i was pictured in the paddock and posted on mclaren socials i have gained a lot of followers so i thought i should introduce myself to all the new people on my page.
hi! i'm y/n, i have been tattooing since i was eighteen (seventeen years). i specialize in ornate jewelry pieces but i do love all aspects of tattooing. i am a dog mum to a five year old pomeranian called lilith.
i know the question on all of your minds is "why the fuck was she in the paddock", the simple answer is that i have known lando since the day he was born as i am best friends with his cousin @.jennanorris and when he won in miami he called me and asked me to do the honors of tattooing one zak brown (who didn't cry like i thought he would)
anyways it is lovely to make your acquaintance and remember to congratulate lando on his podium.
view all 52,392 comments
user12: she really said, if you are going to talk shit about me online then at least get to know me first
user32: shit she is talented
lewishamilton: roscoe would love to meet lilith sometime
y/ntattoos: i'm sure that could be arranged
user16: go on lewis get yourself a hot tattooed girlfriend. we believe in you.
user29: idk still don't like the idea of her being around the drivers. she has bad influence written all over her.
user16:she is 35 you teenagers need to leave this grown woman alone
mclaren: we expect to see you back in the paddock when oscar takes his first win
y/ntattoos: yes boss
landonorris: i was dissapointed, wanted to see zak cry like a baby
y/ntattoos: well you won't even let me tattoo you. so maybe you are the baby
user4: i love her already
#f1 x reader#f1#f1 fanfic#formula 1 smau#formula one smau#f1 smau#f1 fandom#f1 fic#lh44#lh44 x reader#lewis hamilton smau#lewis hamilton#sir lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton x you
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fuck it ill do it myself
Being in a Relationship with Someone with NPD for Dummies
**I would like to open with the preface that if someone is not willing to work on their NPD or to work through elements of their mental illness that strains your relationship, then they are not ready to be in a relationship. I got super lucky in that my partner was over-therapised tbh and so is able and willing to make the accommodations I mention here but that will not be the case for everyone. Think it through carefully. Everyone deserves love, but they should never feel like they need to sacrifice their own wellbeing to give it and get it in return. Be safe and look after yourself**
This is written for people in romantic relationships but with some editing, it could be useful for platonic relationships also
So, the first thing I want to explain is Narc crashes. Maybe you've heard about them, maybe you haven't but understanding them is, I think, the most important piece of groundwork you could have. Think of NPD as a hard shell over something very soft and gooey. Anything can cause the shell to crack, even the most gentle of taps. And those cracks can vary in size, so that sometimes only a little bit of the insides ooze out, and sometimes a lot pours out all at once. Someone with NPD has built their ego and external image to shelter a typically very young and fragile version of themselves. And when that shell breaks, it can feel like an attack on that weaker part. NPD crashes look different depending on the person. For me, as an example, I get this overwhelming feeling that I am going to be discarded and left alone. Which is particularly unhelpful in a romantic relationship but we'll get there. For other people, depending on the severity, they could lash out, get very defensive, or start having ideas about self harm and suicide. I don't really get that bad anymore, but I also haven't crashed so catastrophically in recent months.
On to specific advice!
Make a plan of what to do in the case of a crash. This can be anything from, 'tell me that you still love me and that you aren't going to leave' to 'leave me alone, I can't regulate around other people'. It could be physical comfort, it could be getting them something sweet to eat when they are calmer, or it could be a bath. Have a conversation about it when you are both in a good mental state and make a plan. Keep in mind the differences in severity so that you know what to do and how to react.
When you have a problem, bring it up gently and carefully. When they are doing something that you want to question or ask for them to do differently, remember that they will take it badly if you handle it wrong. I don't mean 'just let them do whatever they want forever'. That is both unhelpful and unrealistic. Of course there are going to be things you need to discuss. Just be cautious about your words being interpreted as a threat to them. This can be another thing you discuss together ahead of time so that you can formulate a way of phrasing such things in a way that they feel more comfortable with.
Keep your emotions under control. If you are mad at your partner with NPD for something, get a hold of that anger by yourself first and then bring it up with them when you are calmer. Getting angry at someone with NPD creates a loop of them feeding off your anger, getting anxious and overwhelmed by the perceived aggressive nature of the conversation, and immediately going into defense mode - which tends to make you angrier and then it just loops around again and no one benefits from that. I mean, I think this applies to all relationships but taking out your own emotional responses on your partner is especially damaging when they have NPD. It hurts us much more deeply and for much longer.
To break those things down to their base components, you need to have a lot of patience and emotional maturity. Which is a big ask, and I'm sure there are people out there who have made it work somehow without those things. I don't know of any personally, but I'm sure it has happened before. Either way, make sure that the relationship works for you too. If you have to go to all this effort for the one you love, they should be willing to do the work for you too.
People with NPD deserve to be loved, but no one deserves having to hurt themselves to keep loving the one who is doing that harm in the first place.
Mental health is complicated. Personality disorders are complicated. Frankly, people are complicated. Maybe some of what I've said is valuable to you and your partner, and maybe none of it is and you are still able to be in a healthy relationship, even if it looks different to mine. And that's great! As long as it works for you both, do whatever you want forever.
Just be safe and take care of yourself first and foremost.
#cluster b#actually narcissistic#actually aspd#npd#actually npd#aspd#npd safe#aspd safe#cluster b safe#relationships
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hi gorgeous!!
could i request poly!marauders with a reader who has been avoiding them a bit? she’ll text and call them, but not see them in person? maybe she tells them she’s really busy and they finally get her to come over or maybe catch her somewhere out n about and find her with a ~mysterious~ black eye? she finally ends up telling them abt it and she’s so embarrassed by how she’s got it and didn’t want them to fret over her? they poke fun of her a little, but it ends with hugs or cuddles on the couch?
(this is so definitely not self indulgent!! i absolutely do NOT have a black eye currently because i was wearing fluffy socks and tripped over my own foot and went flying into a doorknob!!! pfffftt, what kind of idiot would you have to be to pull that off…)
Hope the black eye you don't have is healing well babe!
cw: injury/bruise
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 984 words
“She said she was too busy to even come over for breakfast this morning,” Remus frets. “I don’t know if we should be bothering her.”
“She’s putting too much on herself,” James says certainly, can-do attitude in place and a bag of your favorite pastries in hand. “She won’t let herself relax, and it’s our job to help with that.” Remus only chews his lip, so he looks to Sirius for backup. “Right, Pads?”
“Sure.” Sirius shrugs. “I don’t know, I still think she’s avoiding us. Any plan that gets us to see her sounds good to me.”
“Well, don’t talk like we’re about to bust down her door,” Remus says, rolling his eyes as they come to a stop in front of your place.
“Course not.” Sirius grins, and slams his fist extra-loud against your door to make Remus squirm. James smothers a laugh when he hears a curse from inside, the sound of something falling to the floor, and then shuffling footsteps headed in their direction.
“Hi.” You sound surprised, half of your face visible in the crack of the door. That’s…oddly shy, for you, and the first threads of concern begin to wind their way around James’ ribcage. Has he or one of the others done something to upset you? Maybe Sirius is right, and you have been avoiding them. “What’re you guys doing here?”
“Hi, sweetheart.” James gives you his most guileless smile, holding up the bag of pastries. “You’ve been working so hard lately, we thought we’d bring you a treat.”
You all but melt against the doorframe, the eyebrow James can see scrunching in a cute pout. “Aw, thank you.”
“Can we come inside for a bit?” he asks, but Sirius is already pushing at the door, nudging you out of the way as he invites himself in.
You flinch away from the door as Sirius says, “Christ, angel, we haven’t seen you in so long I’d begun to think you were…” he trails off, and Remus and James both hurry in behind him to see why. The half of your face that had been obscured a second ago by the doorframe (intentionally obscured, James realizes now) is marred by a dark, purple-and-yellow bruise.
Remus inhales softly, all three of your boyfriends nearly frozen in place.
Sirius has gone tense all over, but his voice is gentle. “How’d that happen, baby?”
It doesn’t help matters that you get so clearly anxious at the question. “I—um, okay.” You look at them abashedly, shoulders gravitating towards your ears. “It’s not as bad as it looks, but you can’t get mad.”
Sirius sucks his teeth, eyes darkening. James knows his mind is running through all the various people you could be asking them to not get mad at for doing this to you; he’s thinking along similar lines. “Why would we be mad?” Sirius asks, noncommittal.
You brush a strand of hair behind your ear, going to sit on the couch. “I, uh. I ran into the kitchen and hit myself on the cabinet door.”
Remus hisses through his teeth. “Fuck, honey, the corner?” He sits down next to you, angling your face towards the light. “Is that where this little scrape is from?” His thumb brushes over the small cut with painful tenderness, and James watches with satisfaction as you go so soft you nearly forget to answer him. You give a nod, and Remus hums sympathetically.
“Jesus, babe.” James leans closer to peer at it. “That’s gotta hurt.”
Sirius pouts at you, sitting on the back of the couch. “Why would you think we’d be mad about that, darling?”
The look you give Remus is guilty enough that he withdraws his hand, raising his eyebrows at you.
“You know how you tell me not to run in my fuzzy socks?” you ask him.
Remus’ lips twitch, but he narrows his eyes at you sternly. “I do.”
You shrink away. “Well, I was sort of sliding around in those when it happened.”
Remus rolls his eyes, but he lets his lips twist into a begrudging half-smile. “Christ. Learned your lesson now?”
“Learned not to leave cabinet doors open when I do it,” you say, and James tugs you to his front protectively as Remus lets loose an appalled sound that’s somewhere between exhale and laugh.
“Our poor sweetheart,” he coos, pressing a kiss to the unharmed skin beside your bruise. “I can’t believe you avoided us for days just because you didn’t want Remus to be upset with you. You’re rivaling Sirius for dramatics with that one, lovie.”
“Oi.” Sirius jabs at your side meanly with his foot. “Don’t start taking my titles. There can only be one master of theatrics in this relationship.”
You draw your knees to your chest, entirely in James’ lap now, and he suspects you’re snuggling closer to him because you prefer his coddling to the other boys’ teasing. He’s more than happy to indulge you, brushing his lips ever so gently over the colorful skin by your eye and giving you a good squeeze with his arms around your middle.
Sirius makes a soft pitying sound. “That really looks awful. Did you at least put ice on it?”
You blink up at him, and James wants to chide you and smother you with love at the same time. Remus looks like he feels the same, the exasperation of his sigh diminished greatly by the fondness in his look as he gets up. “You’ve got a pack of peas in the freezer, don’t you, love?”
You confirm, and Sirius takes Remus’ place on the couch, squinting his eyes at you playfully. “You’re not allowed to avoid us when you’ve hurt yourself ever again. Clearly, you can’t handle it on your own.”
You seem like you could disagree, but James takes the opportunity to attack you with kisses again, and you don’t protest much after that.
#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x fem!reader#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders x y/n#poly!marauders x self insert#poly!marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders fanfic#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders drabble#poly!marauders scenario#poly!marauders one shot#poly!marauders oneshot#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#james potter x reader#sirius black x reader#remus lupin x reader#the marauders#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#hp marauders
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have. If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
19) In my head he’s the responsible one. (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
22) I trust him. When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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Femjay you say 👀 how about the classic "you're alive?!" confrontation with a sprinkle of pining
sprinkle of pining you say-oh dear! i've dumped the whole bag in! along with a jar of erotic violence! whoopsies...
female!jason todd x afab!reader. violence, angy jay, reader being held down, crying, reunion. remember that girl best friend you had highkey lesbian tension with? yeah.
****
It's her eyes you recognize first, oddly enough, through her cracked helmet. You shouldn't recognize her at all, with how everything about her has changed. Even the way she looks at you is different. You've never seen Jay Todd so ferocious.
"You weren't supposed to be here!" she screams.
It's true, you weren't. You stumbled across your dead best friend by accident, found her hissing and vicious with a shattered helmet and a smoking gun. Four dead men surround her.
"Get out."
All you can do is stare. She's alive. She's back. She's yours.
"Jay..."
Okay, you lied. This wasn't an accident. This was fate that you played a hand in. This was what was bound to happen after Jay got too close, let herself get seen. You've had an itch for months, eyes on your back. You're a civilian now, sure, but you loved a bat once.
She pries off her helmet and your breath hitches. God, she's beautiful.
"What is wrong with you? You could've fuckin' gotten shot."
Your legs start moving. Your arms part. You expect the feel of a soft cape between your fingers, black curls to tickle your chin due to a height difference you never let her forget.
Jay drops her gun, grabs your wrists, and knocks the wind out of you in a graceful takedown. You can't even be mad.
"You're alive," you choke out.
When she was Robin, you had a slim chance of physically overtaking her. Now, double in size and muscle, Jay keeps you pushed to the ground with no chance of getting free. Her hands hold you by your wrists, body hovering close so you can't move much.
Her eyes are wild. A mix of blue and green. More green than you remember. Her irises have swallowed her pupils and her curls are knotted and frizzy. You feel inexplicably hunted.
"How dare you?" she spits. "How fuckin' dare you come here?"
"Jay," you say softly, unable to keep your eyes fixed on one part of her. You're afraid to blink and make her disappear.
"I could've shot you," she says. "You could be dead right now."
"You're a good shot."
You mean it as a compliment. Jay only seems to get angrier.
"I have to be. I'm the only one keeping myself alive," she says. You make a weak noise in your throat.
"I should've looked for you," you say.
She scoffs. "Don't say stupid shit. You're smarter than that."
"I should've," you insist. "I should've found you. I felt you."
"Yeah? Feel how I could tear you apart? It comes so easy now, you have no idea. 'M fuckin' soaked with blood."
You stay silent. Jay's eyes flash. She leans in, breath hot on your ear.
"Are you scared?" she asks like she knows the answer.
But she doesn't.
Your legs part further so she can kneel comfortably. You shake your head.
Jay snarls. "You should be. I've killed people. I'll keep killing."
"It's okay," you say. "You're angry. It's okay to be angry. I don't blame you. No one does."
"Stop talking like that!" she yells, tears in her eyes. "Stop talking like we're friends. We aren't friends. You don't know me!"
"But I do," you say, limp beneath her, like a lamb caught in a wolf's bite. "Jay, I do."
"No, you don't," she snaps. Her voice is mocking, brittle. "You know your fancy publishing job in a big shiny office, away from this shithole, and-and fuckin' Paul from Marketing who brings you banana pancakes from the diner."
Your breath comes out in a careful exhale. "You've been keeping tabs on me. How long have you been back?"
Jay's mouth quivers as she bares her teeth. "I took you to that diner. It was mine first."
"It never stopped being yours," you say quietly.
"You—" Jay growls in frustration. Her hands squeeze your wrists. "This isn't how it's s'posed to go. Hate me, hate me. I'm a monster."
"You're not."
"You're fuckin' deluded," she says, eyes glassy with tears. "Fuckin'—sleep so heavy, like I can't slip in and smother you. No one would know. Make tea in your-your robe, don't even pull the curtains shut. I can see you. Anyone can."
"I missed you, Jay," you say, a heart-shaped lump in your throat.
"And so what?" she asks, tears falling down her cheeks. "So fuckin' what if you missed me? You kept living."
You try to pull your hand free, and to your surprise, you do. Jay lets you slip out of her grip. You use your free hand to hold her scarred cheek, wipe her tears with your thumb.
Jay is perfectly still for several moments. Then she wraps two big hands around your ribs, pulls your shoulders forward like nothing, and rests her cheek on your chest. She shakes into your skin, kneeling between your legs.
You hug her head, smell her new-old smell, and let her curls tickle your chin once again.
#Jason Todd x reader#female Jason Todd x reader#red Hood x reader#female red Hood x reader#rule 63#batman fanfiction#dc fanfiction#blurb#inbox
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haii could i please order a pizza with sicillian crust with red sauce, and jalapenos, chicken, and tomatoes and my drinks are mtn dew(dom), beer and diet coke. Served by Max Verstappen please!!


Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
sicillian crust dating red sauce rough sex jalapenos "always such a fucking brat" chicken "awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" tomatoes "do you enjoy pissing me off?" mt dew dom (reader) beer edging diet cock recording kink served by Max Verstappen
Max Verstappen x Dom reader
AN: I am so pleased with how busy the Pizzeria has been! I work at night today so I'm gonna get a couple fics more pizzas done before I have to go in.
TW - edging, sub max, dom reader, begging, unprotected sex, filming, taunting
WC 2100+
Y/N POV
I've been watching Max from the other side of the bar for the past 15 minutes while he talks to Checo about something having forgotten about the drink he was supposed to be getting me.
Another 5 minutes pass before Max is finally waving the bartender down to orders drinks and another 3 minutes before I watch Max approaching with his puppy smile trying to sweeten me up once he saw the cold stare I was giving him.
"Max it's been almost half an hour since you told me 'I'll be right back just gonna get your drink' right back my ass" I saw while rolling my eyes and talking the drink he was offering me.
"M'sorry, Checo was talking about the car," Max tells me sheepishly. I could tell he was sorry so I decided to brush it off and pull him to my side before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.
"It's fine, just stay on task next time," I tell him softly whispering into his ear.
I don't know how or when it happened but there had been a shift in max and I's relationship. At one point in time, Max was a young curious boy doing any and everything he could to dominate me and 'keep me in check' but as the years progressed there was a switch and he was no longer the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Most people just assumed Max was whipped but the very few who actually knew about the dynamic just understood it. To them it all made sense, on track, Max was a dominant force that instilled fear in his fellow drivers but off the track, he just needed an outlet to be taken care of.
"I promise," Max whispers before placing a kiss on my lips.
"Love you," he says when he pulls back. "Love you too"
As the night progressed Max had done really well about doing what he's asked but then Lando showed up and I knew instantly I was gonna lose him in the crowd.
I trust Max and I have no issues with him going off but being left at a table by myself surrounded by people I had never met was making me grow more anxious than I would like to admit.
It was about an hour later when I finally saw Max approaching the table with a dopey smile across his face letting me know he had definitely had another drink or two.
"Hi baby," Max says while plopping down right next to me not picking up on the annoyance radiating off of me.
"Do you enjoy pissing me off?" I ask back watching as the smile on Max's face instantly falls.
"Wha- huh? Wait, what did I do?" Max stutters, struggling to try and figure out what to say.
"You just disappeared for over an hour. You left me alone at this dan table and you didn't even tell me where the fuck you went or ask if I wanted to join," I tell him back piching his thigh slightly under the table.
"M'sorry. I promise I've been trying to be good. Don't wanna make you mad, schat" Max mumbles clearly feeling the shame of the verbal lashing he was gonna get later when we got back to the apartment.
"You're gonna be in tears tonight," I reply back straight faced not cracking a normal smile.
"Please just one more chance," Max begs knowing I meant every word.
"I gave you a chance with Checo. I don't understand how you hanging out with Lando somehow always results in you getting punished. Maybe we should send him a video of you tonight to let me know he's a terrible influence," I tell him while looking into his eyes before placing a soft kiss on his cheek to throw him off.
"You wouldn't" Max says with wide eyes of the threat of sending a sex tape. I just shrug my shoulders playing along with the bit.
"I don't know, I think he would love to know that the man he's fighting to get the World Driver Championship is just a needy whiney little bitch," I reply back making Max whine.
"You're a meanie," Max mumbles.
"And you're a brat. Don't we make a perfect pair," I saw with a smile on my face.
When we finally get back to the apartment for the night Max was pretty much sober knowing I would wait until morning if he wasn't sober. He chose take his punishment now versus the morning when he would be nursing a hangover.
"Go into our room, make sure the cats are out of the room, then strip down and be laying on you back in the bed. I'll be there in 5 minutes," I say the second the door is closed.
Max makes quick work of disappearing into our room where I assume he listened to every word I said.
In the 5 minutes, I stripped down into the lingerie set I had chosen to wear under my outfit before making my way down the hallway where I find Sassy sitting by the door staring up at me curiously. I give her a quick pet before slipping into the room to find Max exactly how I told him to be. I look around the room and found a neatly stack of clothes letting me know that Max had folded them up instead of throwing them arounf our room.
"I see you remember some of our rules," I saw while staring at the clothes so Max understood what I was referencing.
When I start climbing into the bed with Max I can see him tensing slightly in anticipation.
"You know how embarrassing it was tonight?" I said before spitting onto Max's cock and starting to jerk him off making him instantly grow hard under my hand.
"I was sat there all alone for over an hour. I looked dumb as fuck. I'm sure the Monaco gossip is gonna eat that up "Max Verstappen disappears leaving his long-time girlfriend alone at the table' You know how media is, they're gonna make it seem like there's trouble in paradise. When in reality it's just little Maxie being a brat. Oh! I almost forgot," I stop my teasing to grab my phone which I brought with me into the room.
"Say hi to Lando," I say while pointing the camera at Max's face. He's giving the camera such a pained yet slutty look it makes me laugh at his desperation. I wait a couple seconds before my voice booms through the room, "I said, Say hi to Lando." While verbally reprimanding Max I send a quick slap to his inner thigh close to his dick before pinching the same spot making Max squirm a bit.
"Hi, Lando," Max mumbles barely audible.
"Try that again. I hear the way you yell at your engineer. Such a disrespectful boy," I tell him with a raised brow.
"Hi, Lando" Max finally says in a loud enough voice to be heard.
"Good boy," I tell him while moving my unoccupied hand back to his dick making sure I have the perfect angle to get Max and his already wet with precum ccok.
"So needy. You're already dripping for me," I say with a smirk on my face.
"So good, schat" Max whines making me speed up slightly just to watch Max's breath hitch.
"I love it when you get like that," I mumble while squeezing Max's cock a bit harder.
"M'close," Max mumbled making me speed up just slightly before pulling my hand away and watching Max's eyes roll into the back of his head and tremble slightly from his pleasure being ripped away in a matter of seconds.
"No," Max whines dragging out the O sounding so desperate.
"Awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" I tease while starting to jerk Max off again while zooming the camera in on Max's cock dripping with precum.
"Schat, please," Max says already starting to beg.
"Oh come on, you can handle more than one," I tell him while leaning down and kicking softly at his tip collecting a bit of his precum.
I shuffle down the bed slightly to start pulling Max into my mouth and down my throat taking all of Max's length into my mouth making sure to bob my head slightly before bringing Max to the edge all over again.
I could tell when he was getting close again because his thighs started tensing under my hands making me rip away from Max's cock to watch him thrash around while bucking his hips to try and gain some kind of friction.
"Fuck no," Max whines staring straight at that the camera that I angled perfectly on his face.
"I love watching you get progressively more needy," I say with a smirk while gripping onto his cock and giving it a rough couple jerks before pulling Max into my mouth again.
I didn't give Max much time to calm down so he was on the edge rather quickly.
"Please, I'm gonna cum," Max says making me bod my head a bit faster before pulling away and watching Max try and chase his orgasm on his own by moving his hand to go and finish himself off but I quickly get a grip on his wrist and giving Max a look that says knock it off.
"No more," Max whines making me smirk slightly.
"Can you give me one more?" I question with a raised brow making Max whine but slowly start to nod his head.
"Yes, I can give one more," Max mumbles softly making me smile softly.
I started jerking off his cock softly making sure I'm filming everything again. I loved it when Max got like. The noises, his hips bucking, and the pure desperation in his eyes always seemed to turn me on.
I could tell Max was getting close but I wanted to push him farther than previous so I continue my movements till the second I know Max will cum I rip my hand away and watch as Max lets out a roar of desperation while jerking his body around not being able to gain any friction as I moved away slightly.
"Please, I need it. I can't do it anymore. I need to cum baby, please," Max begs making me smile softly.
"I'm gonna let you cum in a minute," I tell Max softly while rubbing his thigh in a soothing manner making Max whimper at the touch.
I turned the video off and tossed my phone away from us. I was still sitting in my lingerie set which is completely soaked through both from just witnessing Max get to the point of begging and also because I had snuck a couple fingers into my folds and teased my clit while giving Max head.
I stand from the bed softly and strip down completely before climbing back into the bed and climbing on top of Max before instantly sinking all the way down on Max.
"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel Max stretch my tight walls. I knew neither of us would last very long but looking at Max's face he was completely blissed out.
"So good," Max mumbled making his accent come out a bit thicker.
"So big baby," I moan while softly grinding my hips to gain some friction but not enough stimulation to bring Max or I to an orgasm.
"More, please" Max begs and I give him exactly what he wants because I start bouncing my hips slightly making both Max and I moan at the pleasure coursing through our bodies.
It doesn't take me long for the knot in my stomach to grow alerting me of the incoming orgasm. I look at Max's face and can tell he's trying to hold his orgasm off until I was cumming.
"Cum for me baby," I whisper out bouncing harder on Max's cock throwing me off the edge and into a violent orgasm.
The way Max's hips were erratically thrusting and the feeling of him filling me up sent me over the edge into a shaking orgasm. I'm shaking on Max's cock trying to ride both of our orgasms out.
"So good baby," I whine softly still feeling the aftershocks of the intense orgasm I just had.
"Thank you," Max says softly through staggered breath still trying to catch his breath again.
"You did good for me," I tell Max softly while pulling off his cock and laying down on his chest.
"You're not gonna send that to Lando right," Max mumbles softly making me chuckle a little and shake my head no.
"You know I would never, but I did love watching you get desperate on camera. Might start having to do that more often," I tell him softly looking up to watch his face. I could see the conflict in his eyes but he still nodded his head letting me know it was something he would be willing to do again.
#formula 1#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x you#formula 1 x you#formula one imagines#max verstappen x you#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x reader#f1 smut#max verstappen fanfic#mv1 imagine#mv1#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic#mv1 x you#mv33#red bull racing#mv1 smut#mv33 smut
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content note: this post talks about eugenics, incarceration and institutionalization, and violent ableism
tangent from that post because i didn't want to start writing an essay on someone else's post and this is about a conversation i had irl this month, not intended as a reply to that post. but i actually feel very complicated about the idea of whether or not we should be pushing for more "accessibility" in jails and prisons and psych wards and institutions. i put that word in quotes because i don't think there is ever a way that being incarcerated is actually accessible to our bodies and minds; it is a disabling experience on so many levels. i'm not going to list out all the reasons why on this post; i've made so many posts talking explicitly about the harms of institutionalization before and i don't want to do that again right now. Talila Lewis has given several interviews about ableism, incarceration, and disability that are really worth reading and go more in depth into what that violence looks like. Liat Ben Moshe has also given another interview about disability and incarceration that goes over many of the same topics. given that these places are intense sites of violence towards disabled people, it feels difficult for me to claim that they could ever truly be accessible in any meaningful sense of the word.
what's also true right now is that institutions and prisons are incredibly inaccessible for physically disabled people in particular. i've been arrested with a wheelchair, i've been institutionalized with a feeding tube on top of that as well, i've been held on medical floors for psych treatment before, and i know very well exactly how bad it is. i've watched myself and so many other physically disabled people almost die in these places because of sheer neglect. i have physically disabled neighbors who were killed in these places. it is so dangerous for physically disabled people who are locked up in these places, yet at the same time, often psych wards are so inaccessible that physically disabled people just can't even be admitted because wards refuse to take people with mobility aids, medical devices, specific types of medication or care needs, if you have some kinds of terminal illness, and on and on and on.
what's also true is that when these places are so inaccessible that many physically disabled people are excluded and unable to even access them in the first place, it doesn't mean that we then somehow access other types of care instead. it just means that we're also discarded and left to die. this also is a really similar dynamic for a ton of other marginalized groups that get excluded from psych care--many of my comrades who are people of color have also experienced this same type of denial of care. initially i think that can seem like a confusing contradiction--how is it that psych wards are locking up some people up against their will but refusing to take in other people? but when you start thinking about the underlying logic at the core of these systems, it makes sense.
psych wards operate under this idea that madness must be cured by any means possible, up to and including eradication. institutions are a way of disappearing madness from the world--hiding us away so that we don't disturb a sane society, and not letting us free again until we either die in there or are able to appear like we've sufficiently eradicated madness from our mind. preventing physically disabled people from accessing inpatient treatment is operating under the same assumptions--except that this particularly violent convergence of ableism is happy to just let us die, both because it eradicates madness from the world and because they view our lives as unworthy of living in the first place. eugenics is still alive and well in the united states and it's still fucking killing us; both inside institutions and outside of them.
i would never tell someone that they're privileged for getting institutionalized--i think that would be a cruel thing to say to someone who has just survived a lot of violent ableism. and at the same time, our current systems of mental health care are set up in a way where not being able to access inpatient care can be a deadly logistical nightmare. there are some partial hospitalization programs that have such a long waiting list that you can only really get in if you just got an urgent referral because you're getting discharged from inpatient care--how the fuck are physically disabled people supposed to access those programs? if you need meal support for your eating disorder 6 times a day and the only places that offer that are residential treatment in a house with stairs, what the fuck are you supposed to do? if noncarceral outpatient forms of treatment like therapy, support groups, PHP programs, peer support funding, etc etc etc are often prioritizing people who have recently been discharged from inpatient care, how are you supposed to access any type of mental health care at all? (to be clear i know that not all forms of outpatient care operate in this way, but a lot of state run/low cost programs that accept Medicaid/Medicare operate in that way, and i've seen it cause enough barriers that i know this is a very real problem.)
so when i think about what it would take to actually ensure that physically disabled people can access mental healthcare, there's a lot that comes up for me. on one hand, so much of my work is about tearing down institutions and ensuring that no one is forced into these places to face that type of violence. on the other hand, so many physically disabled people need care right now, and we have to figure out some way of making that happen given the current systems we have in place. i will never be okay with just discarding physically disabled people as collateral damage, and any world that we're building needs to be one that embraces disability from the beginning.
i keep thinking about the concept of non-reformist reforms that gets talked about a lot in the prison abolition movement. the idea behind non-reformist reforms is that usually, reforms work to reinforce the status quo. they're usually talked about in liberal language of "improvement" and "human rights", but when it comes down to it, they're still giving more power to harmful institutions and reinforcing state power. an example of a reformist reform is building a new jail that is bigger and has "nicer" services. or when the cops in my city tried to get funding for more wheelchair accessible cop vans. these are reformist reforms because when it comes down to it, it's still giving more money and legitimacy to the prison system and increasing the capacity to keep people locked up--even when people talk about it using language about welfare for prisoners, that's not actually what's happening. having more wheelchair accessible cop vans would be dangerous for the disabled people in my city--it's helped us out a LOT that it's so difficult for the cops to arrest multiple wheelchair users at once.
non-reformist reforms are the opposite of that--they're reforms that work to dismantle systems, redistribute power, and set the stage for more even more dramatic transformations. They're sort of an answer to the question of "what do we do right now if we can't go out and burn down all the prisons overnight?" Examples of a nonreformist reform are defunding prisons, getting rid of paid administrative leave for cops, shutting down old prisons and not building new ones, etc. they're steps we can take right now that don't fully abolish prisons, but still work to dismantle them, rather than making it easier for the system to keep going.
so, when we apply this to the psych system, what are some nonreformist reforms that could help make sure that all disabled people are having their needs met right now? Some ideas I'm having include fixing the problem of PHP/outpatient care requiring referrals from inpatient, increasing the amount of Medicaid/Medicare funding for outpatient mental health care, building physically accessible peer respites that allow caregivers to stay with you if needed, increasing SSI/SSDI to an actually liveable rate, creating more disability specific mental health resources, support groups, care webs, and a million other things we'd probably need to actually get our needs met. non-reformist reforms for people in psych wards right now might look like ensuring everyone has 24/7 access to phones and internet, ensuring that disabled people have access to mobility aids in these spaces, making sure that there's accessible nutrition for people with dietary restrictions and/or feeding tubes, and more.
when i see people saying that we need to ensure that psych wards or prisons are made accessible it makes me feel nervous. i worry that the changes required to do that wouldn't actually provide care to disabled people, i worry it would just make it easier for increasing numbers of disabled people to get locked up and harmed all while people claimed it was a success story of "inclusion." i worry that it would just continue to cement carceral treatment as the only option for existing as a disabled person, and that it would make it harder for us to live in our communities, with the services and adaptations we need. when i think about abolition, i'm always thinking about what can we do right now, what do disabled people who are incarcerated and institutionalized need right now, what can we do right now to ensure that everyone is surviving and getting their needs met. i'm not willing to ignore or discard my incarcerated disabled comrades in the moment because of my dreams for an abolitionist future, i'm always going to support our organizing in these places as we try to survive them.
overall i guess what i'm saying is that i think making inpatient psych care accessible would require dismantling and fundamentally destroying the whole system. I can't imagine a way of doing that within the current system that wouldn't just continue to harm disabled people. and that as a psych abolitionist i think that means we have a responsibility to each other right now to fight for that, to understand that physically disabled people not being able to access mental health care is an incredibly urgent need. I refuse to treat my MadDisabled comrades as disposable: our lives are valuable and worth fighting for.
i'm also going to link to the HEARD organization on this post. They're one of the few abolitionist organizations that does direct advocacy and support for deaf and disabled people in prisons. if you or one of your disabled community members ever gets incarcerated in jail/prison, they have a lot of resources. donate to support their work if you can.
#personal#psych abolition#survivingpsych#ableism#psych ward tw#eugenics tw#disability justice#antipsych#antipsychiatry#prison abolition#i just have a lot of thoughts about this all the time. it makes me so mad how often the answer to things is just#'we don't care if disabled people live or die.'#and how many systems are set up based on control. coercion. fear. instead of care
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