#i don't know if this is helpful to anyone bc its very much my personal experience
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phagodyke · 6 months ago
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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littlestpersimmon · 6 months ago
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Am caught in a death spiral my lieges. I don't feel entitled to anyone's time, effort or resources but I feel so beat down. I am disabled, I am working so much I genuinely developed a hunched back. I am alone responsible for my autistic sister, her parentified sibling, and my two parents who are disabled with extremely limited movement. I have three jobs. I can't ask for help on twitter because people I work for follow me there. My work requires me to draw every day, without a day off, ever. I have a "morality clause" which means if I or the author I work with are deemed to be acting in any way the company thinks inappropriate, we are immediately fired and would have to return every single cent we have made. I feel at my wits end. My employers are american- but I am not. I live in the global south- government assistance in the Philippines is *nonexistent*
Last week I asked for help to pay for electricity. The other week I asked for help with my sister who had to be rushed to the ER.
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I doxxed myself and posted medical info to this blog, so many strangers know my address, my legal name, everything just for me to be able to seek mutual aid- Wallah I do not want to be this person, but if anyone could please, pick up a print from my inprnt, or subscribe to my patreon, I already have 300+ drawings up there and I upload thrice to four times a month, or if you could send direct tips it would make a world's difference. I will try to open commissions next week but as the world is being plunged into wherever it is we are headed, it's getting harder and harder to get clients.
Currently myself dealing with housing insecurity- we only have a year or two to fix our traditional filipino house as it is falling apart due to the philippine storms and termites- *please* help me and my disabled family of three. I feel I am rambling now bc there's so much on my mind, on my plate, I've asked friends and my partner for help, my sister and my cousins and my friends are all I have. My mom's side of the family cannot help as they are all extremely poor themselves, and my paternal side of the family have emotionally abused me and have members that committed routine csa on me. I do not take any of the help I receive here for granted, and I'm sorry. Reblogs are off as I am asking for help from followers as I feel very ashamed / embarrassed/ humiliated to still be stuck in this dark place . Sorry and thank you again
Inprnt is having a sale rn, everything is like at 40% off!
And my tipping jars:
Sorry and thank you again. If you can't donate or purchase its OK, just please please please include me in your prayers, make mi shebeirach for my health so I csn continue to work, or any prayers at all for me. Thank you
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fairyhaos · 5 months ago
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how seventeen act with their writer s/o
requested by anon ^^
masterlist
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seungcheol
he is begging. he is on his knees BEGGING you to pls let him buy you a new laptop because the one you use is literally on its last legs and makes ominous sputtering n whirring sounds like a dying cat stuck in a vent every time you start it up. you don't let him tho bc “no cheol the memories :(((“ cuz you've had it for years but he is nearing the end of his tether and who knows. in a few days ur laptop may mysteriously disappear forever and you'll be forced to let him buy a new one
jeonghan
he's like the pet cat you don't own who likes to slink into the room and make inquisitive noises as he watches you work. drapes himself over your shoulders and makes distressed huffs when you try to dislodge him. he's never usually noticeably clingy, but when you try to write, the clinginess always springs out and you can't go five minutes without jeonghan poking his head into the room to check up on you and see what you're up to
joshua
your biggest fan. buys every single novel you write, puts on his glasses, and reads them very seriously in one go on the very evening it's released with the lamp on beside him. he looks so serious every time, but he'll always peer at you over his glasses and then give you a big grin, telling you how much he loves it. gets you to sign a copy for him and brags to everyone he knows that he has your signed novels with special messages just for him that no one else can have
junhui
he's your personal general knowledge bank. when you're searching up obscure things and slowly losing hope on finding an answer, just ask junhui and he'll either a) know the answer or b) knows someone who knows someone else who knows someone else else who knows the answer. don't ask him how to spell words tho bc he's like. hopelessly bad. blinks at you going “what's an [insert word]” before you give up and google it yourself
hoshi
alwaysssss wants to know what you're working on right now. gets all whiny when you get possessive of your work and refuse to show him before it's finished bc come on, it's surely perfect already, why are you trying to hide it from him?? loves helping you do, like, the non writing stuff. writing out plot? nooo. building fantasy maps, figuring out political systems, getting lost on a tangent on figuring out the price of beans in the 1800s? hell yeah sign him up!!! 
wonwoo
knows all the grammar rules in the world. you can ask him stuff like “hey wonwoo can i put a comma here or no” and he'll amble over to peer over your shoulder and tell you whether you can or cannot, in fact, put a comma there. helps you curate all your writing playlists for the different moods you have. gently reminds you to get back to writing whenever you end up scrolling on instagram for too long
woozi
you're even more of a workaholic than he is when in the zone, so he gets to realise how unhealthy it is to be sat in front of a computer for hours straight with no break. you get to act as each other's “let's act like a normal human being now” reminders, depending on which of you is going through a work fixation. you guys both go on runs together in the mornings even though it kills you bc at least it gets both of yo brains kickstarted to spend a day being all creative in ur respective fields
minghao
you value his opinion above anyone else's. above your beta reader's, above your agent's, even above your editor's bc those are more like advice, not opinions. but knowing that minghao likes your work, and knowing which parts in particular he really likes, is so important to you because ultimately, you want the person you love to also love the things that you create. 
mingyu
brings up the fact that you're a writer in every conversation he has with anyone ever. “oh my god look, this menu has writing on it. speaking of writing, my s/o writes actual books as a job!!!!”. your agent made him sign a contract similar to an NDA bc he just keeps yapping about your books even when they haven't been released yet. loves the noises you make whilst you're writing. thinks it's the cutest thing ever when you make overjoyed “AHA!!” sounds when you finally realise what the plot is doing
dokyeom
more than willing to be your rubber duck and let you talk at him until u figure out your own plot holes. he could be in his room scrolling on his phone but the minute you call for him, he's leaping up and bounding over to you and pulling up a chair in an instant, more than willing to let you bounce ideas off him. sits there doing nothing but looking all pretty as you talk at him and work out the tangle you've gotten yourself into. beams and gives you a big kiss when you manage to figure it all out. 
seungkwan
he buys you a biiiig wheely whiteboard and a bunch of coloured board pens to help you plot your novels. when you get stuck, he comes over and stares at the board with his hands on his hips, very gravely considering your dilemma and what would be the best way to get you out of it. you two talk about plot holes like it's the most serious thing in the world and he just nods like a proud father once you both find a solution
vernon
at this point he's like. a professional tea and coffee and biscuits supplier due to the amount of snack runs he does for you. has walked in on you lying face down on the floor during a meltdown one too many times to bat an eye anymore. also great at helping you block out actions during scenes like. he's the perfect doll. lets you maneuver him into the weirdest positions in the world with zero complaints. he just loves helping you however he can, really. 
chan
reads through your drafts whilst you're in the middle of writing, accidentally gets hooked and is begging you every day to finish the novel bc he really wants to know what happens next. he's the best at spotting inconsistencies and plot holes in ur writing so before you even send it off to your beta reader, he gets to have his hands on the manuscript to check for any changes needed. also bc he needs to read the ending asap otherwise he'll probably combust. 
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reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @sea-moon-star @nonononranghaee @isabellah29 @mcu-incorrect @hrts4hanniehae @suraandsugar @pan-de-seungcheol @dokyeomkyeom @melodicrabbit @bananabubble
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churipu · 1 year ago
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𐙚 THREE TIMES NANAMI MADE YOU CRY ⋆ ˚。
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featuring. nanami kento x reader
warning. referral to the reader as 'wife'
note. i just felt so mellow today — because a lot of sad nanami edits have been passing by in my fyp and i'm about to have a mental breakdown because of it, when i catch gege >:( a lil note, i cried writing this bcs i miss nanami so much help
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✴ ONE : WHEN HE PROPOSED TO YOU
it took him a short time to realize that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you — he sees you cooking breakfast at the crack of dawn just for him before he goes to work, and he realizes that, yes, you were the one for him.
"do you want to marry me?"
your head turned to him slowly, eyes following just a few seconds after and you blinked, "i'm sorry, what?" you ask him.
nanami's eyes raised up to meet yours, "do you want to marry me?" he repeats his question calmly.
it was a day like every other — the both of you sitting on the couch, the television on yet nobody's paying attention to it. nanami has his eyes on the magazine in his grasp, and you were on your phone, scrolling through social media.
"yeah, of course i do."
nanami takes out a velvet colored box from his pocket and opens it up, you stared at him in confusion; wondering if this was a joke or not, is he actually proposing to you while you were in your pjs? but that actually didn't bother you — it was the fact he is proposing to you.
"marry me." he murmurs out softly, taking the beautiful ring out of its place, waiting for your acknowledgement.
your tears began flowing out and it took nanami by surprise, "sweetheart, i'm sorry. was it too sudden? you don't have to—" you shook your head at him, wiping your tears away.
"i'm just so . . . happy, ken."
that was the first time he made you cry.
✴ TWO : HIS WEDDING VOWS
your wedding was a simple ceremony. it was filled with fun and laughter, your loved people were there — his loved people were there, gojo and his students were there. it was just, a one fine day, really.
when it comes to the delivering of vows, traditionally; the groom goes first.
"y/n, i'm not good with my words, but you know me better than anyone else, so i assume you know that as well. we met five years ago when i bought a casse-croûte in a bakery you worked in; and if you had told me then that we'd be standing here and i'd be spending the rest of my life with you, maybe i wouldn't believe in you and told you that you were saying nonsense.
first and foremost, i would never thought that a one stop shop in a bakery would lead me to the love of my life — that day, i decided to stop by the bakery you worked in because my usual place was closed for the day, when i think about that, i get so overwhelmed; if my usual shop had opened that very day, maybe you would be standing here with another man, another man who is not me.
y/n, you are the most curious person i have ever met in my life. and i am pretty sure you are asking yourself now, what is kento thinking of right now? the answer is you. i am thinking about you now, later, and forever. from the first day you asked me if i liked casse-croûte, i have not once stopped thinking about you.
i was never a person who sought for relationship or thought of it a lot in the past, but when you came into my life. i began thinking of my future with you, making our own happy family, having kids, traveling the world, all of that. the moment i saw you take your time to wake up before me to cook me breakfast before i go to work, i knew i just had to make you my wife. i want to spend the rest of my life with you.
you love me and completed me in ways i do not know existed, and my love — i promise you, that from here onwards, i will continue to love you and every piece of you and for who you are yet to become. i promise to be your husband, your best friend, your partner in crime as you always like to name it, and your number one supporter, also as you name it.
above all, i promise to show you how lucky i am to have you in my life. i cannot wait to start a new chapter in my life with you, i love you."
it was safe to say that everyone in the room was crying, including you (and gojo, who had to be escorted out by megumi because the male was straight up sobbing loudly).
✴ THREE : WHEN HE DIED
shibuya. october 31, 2018. god, how much you dreaded every single thing that happened in there — just the thought of october coming after that year made your stomach churn in sadness.
the day a lot of people lost their life, including nanami.
nanami is a strong man, and you know so. you believed in him, never did you once stopped believing in your husband; but the whole time nanami was fighting for his and everyone's life in shibuya, you were back at home with your few months old son.
"daddy is going to be okay, yeah? he's gonna be back soon," you cooed to your son despite the rising wariness.
but no, nanami never came back.
the one to break the news was no other than itadori yuuji himself, the sole witness to your husband's passing — he knocked on your door, beaten up, although his wounds were tended to. you knew the shibuya incident scarred the young boy with something that couldn't be closed off now or maybe ever.
"he's not coming back, is he?" you ask the teen with a sad smile.
itadori broke down on your porch that day. and you, nanami's wife was the one comforting him, after all, watching someone you care die in front of you was traumatizing. but itadori blamed himself for nanami's death — he was baffled when you pulled him into a tight hug, "it's my fault y/n-san! i killed him. he's dead because of me."
as much as nanami doesn't display his affection to itadori, you were a witness to how nanami really feels towards the young boy. telling you how he wishes your son would grow up to be just like itadori, bubbly and energetic. nanami cares about itadori like the boy was his own — although failing to show it.
"did he . . . did he say anything before he . . ?"
itadori cried in your embrace, "he . . . said he was sorry. for not coming back. and that he loves you and your son so much . . ." itadori was barely taking breaths in, he was hyperventilating in your arms, "he said he was sorry that he won't be able to accompany you to malaysia."
"okay." you didn't cry as itadori was breaking the news to you, you couldn't.
nanami's death quieted you — you didn't cry the first week, still not believing he was actually gone. finding yourself sitting on the couch, waiting for the male to open the door and to call out for you, "y/n, i'm home."
but it never happened. nanami was really gone. he's really dead.
grief is such an odd feeling, you relied on itadori to look after your son for the first two weeks as you didn't find yourself in the right mind to be capable of taking care of your own flesh and blood. a day before your son was going back into your care — you went grocery shopping, to buy things both nanami and you used to buy.
it was a mistake on your part not to use a basket or a trolley, putting all the stuff on the cashier counter was hard work. and as the baby food you put on top of the pile slipped through your fingers and dropped onto the floor, splattering the contents everywhere, you can't help but to let a few stray tears out.
your silent sobs turning into a full blown breakdown in the middle of a grocery shop as everything began coming in, a reality check.
that nanami was no longer going to be there with you again, you couldn't feel him anymore, you couldn't hear him anymore, you couldn't smell his cologne anymore.
but the world doesn't stop for that, it will keep going and you had to go on with your life without him.
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© CHURIPU 2023 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE
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genderqueerdykes · 4 months ago
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i love you so much i love the way u talk abt trans men and our struggles i makes me feel so seen especially bc youre older than me, i want to be understood , keep posting please
THANK YOU !!
i appreciate that. i feel like nobody (aside from some very cool bloggers on here) is advocating for trans men anymore. like unless its a trans man talking about these issues, it just doesn't happen. nobody advocates on our behalf for the most part. everyone just leaves us to the weeds. we have to help each other because most people just don't even understand what trans men and mascs want. like it's absolutely positively insanity inducing
when i was in college, at my pride group, there were just. no conversations about trans men. at all. in fact. at the time i was beginning to realize i was a trans man but i couldn't find support or acknowledgement of transmasculinity anywhere. whenever i would participate in the conferences, and large group meetings for LGBTQ communities in our part of the country... I was forced into queer women's groups. i did not identify as a woman or bigender at that time. i asked them where a female-to-male genderqueer person should go, and they put me in every queer women's group. i was not being considered trans. i was being viewed as a cis butch lesbian.
i was fucking pissed.
i learned the word transgender and what it meant and the example that was given was male to female, which was informative. i heard a lot of things about feminine transition, drag queens, cis gay male culture, bisexuality, pansexuality, and even asexuality. i want you to know that my college's pride group in 2011 - 2012 was more accepting of asexual people than trans men, which is insane for that time frame. i was actually allowed to help with a presentation on asexuality
i had to go online and research trans men, though. there were none to be found in the group that were at least out and able to talk to each other. we were all very stealth and nervous. my long term friends there ended up being gay men, lesbians, and a transfem agender person. i never met a single trans man there. it was heartbreaking.
i am tired of participating in transmasculine silence. i will not participate in self-erasure. trans men are trans. we're men. we're mascs. we NEED support, community, and care. we need to learn how to access transition resources, to comfort each other, to laugh with each other, to help each other find what clothes make us feel like ourselves, to say each other's names and pronouns, to see one's self in the other.
we need people who will protect us from misgendering. we need to be able to talk about our unique issues. we need to be able to talk about how yes, we experience misogyny, but also that transandrophobia is literally a thing. we need people who will stand up for femme trans men and gay trans men. we need people who understand that it's not okay to call every single trans man a confused butch lesbian and assume that they're a queer cis woman. trans men can be butch lesbians and that's okay. but you can't rip away a trans man's manhood for the sake of being a catty asshole. it's misgendering. it's transphobia. care about being transphobic. transphobia hurts all trans people no matter where it's directed. we all lose when you opt to deny trans men and mascs the right to community.
i am transmasculine. i am a trans man. i love being a trans man. i'm not ashamed. i'm not going back in the closet. i love my transmasculine brothers and siblings. i will not silence them. silencing them is a disservice to us all. i refuse to do that to us.
thank you for sending this ask. stay safe, take care of yourself, you're an important part of the LGBTQ community, don't let anyone take that from you.
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eddiemunsonsmum · 2 months ago
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Angel of Good Fortune | E.M x F!Reader
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Eddie Munson x Female Reader | Eddie Munson x Girlfriend Reader
Summary: Eddie is very tired. Regardless, he plans a special DnD Halloween oneshot for the guys that includes a special surprise visitor. But when it comes time for the reveal, things don't exactly go to plan... For anyone involved.
Tags: Fluff, Joking, Banter, Pranks, DnD, Halloween, Halloween Tricks, Established Relationship, Small amount of Angst (bc of who I am as a person), SPOILERS for the story tags here pls don't read if you want to be surprised> Dad!Eddie, Mom!Reader, Newborn Baby, Post-Partum, Breastfeeding, Sleep-Deprivation.
Words: 9.3K
A/N: A little Halloween Treat for you guys 🧡🎃 There is a reference to Reader's body in this story but no actual body size is mentioned. Just “the same size you were before” implication that could mean literally any size because I don’t want to exclude anyone. Just mentioning it to cover my bases because I know some people have triggers about any mention of the body. ❤
~
“Wow.” Dustin whispered as he pushed open the heavy door to the AV Room of Hawkins High. The door itself was sparsely decorated with fake spider webs and some plastic creepy crawlies that had been stuck crudely around the edging.
He hadn’t been expecting much based on the exterior appearance of the room that housed all the Drama Club’s props as well as the small table that the Hellfire Club used to play DnD.
There were two entrances to the room but the other was hidden in the back just behind the large curtain on the wall and was barely used. Dustin couldn’t help but wonder absently if Eddie had put more effort into decorating the other door since he had not prepared for the effort put into the interior based on the outside.
He supposed that was why you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover.
Inside the room was dark and lit up only by the usual candles and lamps Eddie set out for ambiance during their campaigns. But this time there was black tulle draped from the ceiling in random patterns. The fake spiderwebs weaved between them. Realistic looking bats and spiders hung throughout and there were jack-o-lanterns of alternating sizes in nearly every place that was big enough to house one.
The candles were abundant. Many more than usual and placed around on the floor as well as on shelves and in holders. Some of the Drama Club’s props that were usually hidden behind the large curtain had been repurposed to give the room a spooky edge and some had even been downright altered to fit the theme.
There was a giant cardboard windmill that some of them recognized from the 1983 School play. Eddie had pulled it out and seemed to have downright destroyed it with splatters of what appeared to be blood and other mangled remains that hung from the blades.
“Are those sausages?” Lucas whispered to the other guys, pointing towards the ‘entrails’ hanging from one of the fins.
Eddie had really gone all out for this one shot campaign they were playing on Halloween night.
His throne was adorned in warm toned fairy lights that, while not very spooky, did give it a chilling edge that they were sure would make him look even more menacing when illuminated from behind.
There was a rusted 1880s style stroller sitting behind the throne near the windmill. A headless doll hanging from the handles and another with a head- or, maybe just the head of the other.. Tucked tight into a blanket that was covered in Halloween themed items.
“When did he even have time to do all this?” Lucas asked as the Club sans Eddie followed behind Dustin into the seemingly empty room.
“When he was supposed to be graduating.” Gareth answered from the corner of his mouth, making Jeff snicker.
The clearing of someone’s throat caught their attention. Blood running cold as Eddie stepped out from behind one of the props with a tired look on his painted pale face.
“Thunny.” He said, simply. Plastic glow in the dark vampire fangs impeding his speech. 
“Altho, rude.” He added, frowning at his words and taking the teeth out of his mouth. “That is not gonna’ work.” He mumbled to himself. Fishing around for the pocket in the red and black cape he was wearing and shoving them inside it.
“It looks amazing in here!” Mike enthused as Eddie held back a smile. The fake blood dripping from the corner of his mouth moving into his marionette lines as he kept his glee at bay.
Vampire Lord’s did not smile when they received a compliment.
He didn’t think.
He would need to check.
“Yeah.” Jeff agreed with a laugh. “I’ve gotta be honest I wasn’t even sure you’d show up tonight with how forgetful you’ve been.”
A murmur of agreement rolled through the boys in front of him as Eddie scoffed at the statement. He may have almost fallen asleep driving to school this morning but there was no way in hell he could forget a campaign. 
“Come on in and sit down.” He said as unnervingly as he could muster after the stab at his memory. 
He reminded the boys of the narrator at the beginning of a Haunted House carnival ride that dared them to try not to be scared.
The difference was that they probably actually should and would be scared of Eddie.
Sitting on the throne in front of the table often flicked a switch in his brain that turned him into an unhinged maniac.
They knew they were in for some sort of Halloween themed mischief tonight. They just hoped there were no tricks to ruin their treat.
The boys did as they were told. Taking their places around the table and setting up their belongings as Eddie sauntered towards his seat and flopped down on it. Waiting with fingers intertwined atop the table for them to be ready for him to begin.
The candles flickered in the quiet room, highlighting the dark circles under Eddie’s bleary eyes.  
Anyone that didn’t know him would think he had painted them there as part of the costume and not just an everyday occurrence of late.
Once everyone was settled and the club was staring up at him with eager faces, Eddie stood. Tired body creaking as he leaned behind his chair to press play on the tape player he had hidden there. Soft, spooky music filled the room. Not very loud as Eddie still wanted them to be able to hear him talk.
“Wait…” Lucas said after a long moment of silence so they could listen to the ambient sound. “In the background… Is that… Carnival music?” He asked, looking up at Eddie with a puzzled expression.
The older man raised his brows in acknowledgement. Smiling proudly this time as he bowed to them all. Again putting on his best, most unnerving voice as he said:
“Welcome, to the Haunted House.”
~~
Eddie’s campaign was based around the guys being stuck inside the Haunted House Carnival ride. A ride that came alive with actual ghosts, ghouls and skeletons that needed to be fought off as they worked out how to escape it.
It was essentially a mini escape room without physical props to keep track of. It was unlike any campaign they had ever played before and it was clear Eddie had put a lot of thought and work into how it would turn out.
He had planned it to be short. Only spanning the one session that lasted about three hours absolute max. That was if they made a dumb move or got stuck somewhere. Otherwise they could probably be out of there in one.
He had alluded early on to the presence of someone that could help them through the puzzles. They figured they just had to say the right words or stumble into the right room to find them.
In true Hellfire Club fashion, it hadn’t taken long for things to go from zero to one hundred. Mike had made a call that nearly killed Gareth and Jeff, who was usually pretty quiet and mild mannered, had turned on him.
Eddie watched in delight as the club bickered amongst themselves about how they should have gone about the obstacle Eddie had placed in front of them.
He of course knew exactly how they should go about it but he was keeping that little tidbit of information to himself unless someone rolled a 20.
“Okay! Okay!” Dustin shouted suddenly, holding out both his hands in a ‘stop’ like motion as he tried to quell the argument between Mike, Jeff and Gareth. 
Lucas sat quietly on the sidelines ignoring the chaos as he wrote something down on his character sheet.
“It doesn’t matter! Okay?” Dustin shouted when all attention was on him. “Look it’s like a foot tall, What if we just step over–”
A shrill sound rang out from somewhere behind Eddie, cutting Dustin off mid-sentence.
The sudden sharp cry startled the group. They jumped in unison. Looking between one another and then to Eddie as they waited for the reveal. 
What trickery had he rigged up to breathe even more life into the campaign? 
“Oh! Eddie said excitedly, leaning back to stop the tape player from making the eerie sounds.  “Looks like our guest has arrived.” He explained cryptically, pushing away from the table. The feet of his throne scraping against the floor was barely heard above the repetitive sound growing louder and more frequent.
Eddie moved around behind his chair quickly standing in front of the rusted stroller and dipping his hands inside.
The guys watched in confusion. Waiting for Eddie to pull out another tape player or a walkie talkie and turn it off to stop the shrieking sound. But instead he ducked forwards pulling the pile of fuzzy halloween themed blankets to his chest and shushing it softly.
“Were we too loud?” He murmured to the blankets. Looking down at the pile in his arms with eyes that sparkled in the candlelight.
The whining cry from the baby in the blankets was calmed by the comfort of a firm chest. She cooed quietly as Eddie swayed on the spot and tapped her back with his palm. The soft thump of the repetitive motion reassuring her that she was safe as large brown eyes that matched his own fluttered closed again in his arms.
Eddie looked up at the group in front of him. Ready to apologize for the interruption and make his announcement about the game but he was taken aback by the shock on everyone’s faces. 
Furrowed brows, wide eyes and mouths hanging open around the table as they all stared at him with questions on their lips. Stunned into silence, no one moved until Jeff finally cracked.
“What…” He asked bluntly, pausing for emphasis. “Is that?”
He was pointing towards the blankets in Eddie’s arms. Being ever so gently rocked up and down by strong hands that were made for shredding on an electric guitar or rolling dice, not holding a doll.
“Who? Is that?” Dustin corrected when Eddie narrowed his eyes at the question.
“This…” Eddie said, also pausing for emphasis. “Is your way out of this ride!” He said as excitedly as he could. Somewhat affronted by the rude phrasing of the question. “It’s your lucky night. You’ve been visited by The Angel of Good Fortune.”
The silence in the room was loud as Eddie looked over them all with eagerness, waiting for someone to ask another question so he could introduce his surprise NPC in the way he had planned.
His face fell as no one made a move. The silence stretched almost to the point of being uncomfortable until Eddie spoke again.
“It’s Daisy.” He said bluntly. “She’s the angel.” He explained as if that answered anyone’s questions and didn’t raise at least six more. “Do you guys want to hear what she has to bestow on you or not?” He chuckled, shaking his head as he circled back around the throne and plonked himself down.
If it wasn’t for the humming of the stage lights above his head or the gentle crackle of the candles by his side, he swore he would be able to hear the crickets outside chirping.
“Okay…” He said simply. A sudden rush of foolishness knocking down his resolve when no one spoke. “Well I guess no one wants any fortune then.” He said bitterly.
This was not going at all how he had planned it. 
He shrugged weakly as he scooted forward to the edge of the seat and looked over his notes before speaking again.
They just continued on he supposed. He had been planning to give them all special abilities that helped them throughout the rest of the house. But if they were going to be dicks about him bringing the baby then they could get by without them.
He didn’t really want to be there anymore right that second anyway…
“Right so…” He sighed. “Dustin, you were about to try and step over the obstacle. You can’t do that by the way–”
“No.” Gareth said simply, holding his hand up in front of him as Dustin had done to him earlier.  Eddie’s head snapping up at the declaration. 
“No, we’re not doing this.” He laughed, pointing an accusatory finger at Eddie now. “Come on Man. Put the doll down.”
Eddie frowned at him as the rest of the group murmured in agreement. Nodding their heads and putting forth the same sentiments of Eddie’s Halloween prank being over now. He’d had them at first but going back to the game like nothing had happened with a random ‘baby’ in his arms and expecting them not to ask questions was too far.
“Not doing what?” Eddie snapped, frustrated at the insinuation that he was the problem when it was them and their weird reactions to his surprise.
The baby in his grasp stirred at the words. Loud and sharp not far from her little ears. She could feel his frustration and wanted to join in on the complaining.
Her eyes were open again now, bottom lip trembling as Eddie realized his mistake and quickly tried to shush her. But he’d already fucked up. New babies rarely went back to sleep a second time. Especially when they could feel that their parents were frazzled.
“Ah shi–” He behan. “Shoot.” He corrected,, looking down at her with a sad pout as she began to cry again. “You’re hungry aren’t you?” He asked rhetorically. 
Yeah, this was not going to plan in the slightest. It would be his luck that after the failure of his reveal, he couldn’t get her to calm down for him due to her being able to sense his agitated state.
She shouldn’t be hungry again so soon. If he just took a breath, he should be able to stop her getting too worked up.
He shuffled her into the tight grip of one arm as he fished in his cape pocket with his other hand. Producing a pink pacifier and holding it up in front of her. “May I interest you in a pacifier?” He asked politely, pressing it against her wailing lips and waiting with baited breath to see if she took it.
She did, briefly. Spitting the dummy quite literally as she took it from him for a quick second before hucking it out and sending it shooting across the table. The heads of all the players following its journey as it bounced once on the game board before rolling the rest of the way to land in front of Grant who stared at it as if it was diseased. 
“Nat 20.” Eddie laughed hollowly as the rest of the table slowly turned back to him at the same time and stared with matching horrified expressions.
“How did you do that?” Grant asked softly, barely heard over the baby's cries as Eddie pushed himself up again and began to pace back and forth in front of the throne in an effort to calm the little one.
“Do what?” He asked again over the cries, this time just exasperated at his lack of understanding their line of questioning.
“Throw the pacifier like that without moving your hands?” Gareth asked as if it was obvious. 
Eddie balked at the statement.
“Are you daft?” He asked after a moment of stunned silence that Daisy gladly filled. “She spat it out, you saw her.”
“She’s not real!” Gareth argued, slamming his hands down on the table and pushing himself to stand, the rest of the members following suit.
“Yes she is.” Eddie defended weakly, stopping in place and rearranging the blankets in his arms so the guys could see the baby's face. “See.” 
The six men in front of him took a step closer.
The baby in the blankets blinked at them all from her place in Dad’s arms. Her cries dying down as curiosity became her main focus. The growling in her little tummy became a background sensation for a long few seconds as she looked over at them all with wide eyes that matched Eddie’s.
She probably wasn’t actually looking at them. Baby’s couldn’t see very far in front of them when they were so young. But that was what made contrasting colors interesting. Eddie guessed she was gaping at the fuzzy bright orange spots she could see throughout in the darkness of the room. The candles he had lit to add to the ambiance, calming her as the lights flickered with all the movement in the room.
“What the fuck?” Mike asked candidly. Saying what they were all thinking as they watched the actual infant child Eddie was holding, look around the room and move her little arms around in a way that Eddie couldn’t fake even if he wanted to.
Eddie squinted at them all, eyes dark as the realization began to dawn on him that they all had no idea who Daisy was or what she was doing there with him.
“Do you guys like…” Eddie trailed off as he shook his head at them. Lips pressed together hard as he shrugged, baby moving up and down with the motion as he spoke again. “Listen, when I speak?” He asked slowly, tilting his head in a way that was probably meant to look condescending but really just made him look like a sad puppy.
The silence was enough of an answer for him. Not even Daisy daring to make a sound as her janky little movements had her staring back up at Eddie. The sound of Dad’s voice taking her away from her pretty lights and reminding her that she was hungry and he was not delivering.
Her little lips shook again as Eddie frowned at his friends. Her expression unknowingly mimicked his as she began to cry again and Eddie scowled at the six people in front of him. 
The best friends he had in the entire world.
That apparently didn’t know his daughter’s name or that she even existed despite him rambling about nothing else for the last two weeks straight.
It made him want to join Daisy in her howling.
“What the fuck?” Eddie asked suddenly, as brazen as Mike had a few seconds earlier. Looking between them all with a mixture of hurt and disgust on his face as they all stood quietly and mentally prepared themselves for the scolding of a lifetime. 
But instead Eddie’s voice was small. Barely heard over the wailing of the baby in his arms.
“I thought you were my friends.” He said simply, embarrassment welling in his chest at the way it had come out. The vulnerability he had shown with that one sentence that perfectly encapsulated how he felt about it all without having to actually say any of what he was feeling.
“Okay!” A voice rang out from somewhere in the corner of the room. Startling them all, including Daisy who went suspiciously quiet at the sound. Everyone turned at once, surprised to see…
You.
Having just jumped out of your hiding place behind the windmill. 
“I can’t do it anymore!” You shouted. Holding out your arms and making grabby hands towards Eddie. “Give her to me!” You instructed as Eddie stared at you as if you’d grown two heads, trying to figure out where you’d even come from or what you were doing there.
“What…” He asked weakly as you strode towards him and wrapped deft fingers around your little one. 
He let you take her. His arms falling limp by his side when they were empty.
“Where did you–” He began, cutting himself off. “How did you–” He started again. “WHY did you?” He decided on, tone changing from shocked to frustrated. “Were you spying on me?” He asked incredulously. Sounding a little more wounded than he intended as you turned away from all the prying eyes in the room and pulled down the neck of your shirt.
Intending to give Daisy what she needed to restore the beginnings of peace in the room.
“No!” You clarified, flicking your head towards him as you tried to get Daisy to latch and catching the hurt as if flashed through his eyes. “Well, not intentionally.” You added softly.
“You were!” Eddie gasped. “You don’t trust me?” He asked. Ignoring the rest of the people in the room as his one track mind got stuck on your appearance and he momentarily forgot he was in the middle of an argument with some of the worst friends in the world.
“No, that’s not it.” You argued back, not looking at him as you spoke while you were trying to encourage the baby to work with you.
“You don’t think I can take care of our daughter on my own?” He asked, not waiting for your answer before he continued. “You too?” He asked, nodding at you and then his friends as he remembered they were there.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “What the hell is wrong with everyone tonight?” He shouted as your guilty eyes turned back to him.
“I just wanted to see you surprise them...” You explained softly. “But… It wasn’t going to plan…” You winced, baring your teeth in a cringe as you used Daisy’s blanket to cover your modesty.
Yeah, you were right. None of this was going to plan…
All of the guys had met you before. Most of them remembered you from your senior year. Even the Freshman had met you once or twice since joining Hellfire. Had hung out with you and Eddie together over the small holiday break between the first semesters of the year.
And look, okay… Maybe you weren’t around as often as you used to be and maybe Eddie didn’t talk about you as often as he wanted to. But you both knew it wasn’t for lack of wanting to brag about the fact that he was yours. 
It was his circumstances he didn’t want to think about. The fact that he had a girlfriend in College only served to remind him and everyone else of the fact that he had failed to graduate twice now and was on a fast track to his third failure. 
It reminded them all that he was College age and should be running around on campus with you instead of in the schoolyard with them. 
Except you weren’t at College now. You were at home or… Supposed to be. Tired, cranky and hormonal. Six weeks postpartum and ready to lose your mind when Eddie had said he was planning on going out on Halloween night.
Which meant you would spend your favorite holiday sitting at home alone with the baby.
Eddie had felt bad when you’d pointed that out and offered to take her with him. The guys hadn’t met her yet anyway and he figured the creepy old stroller in the AV Room was probably safe enough to let her sleep in until she woke up hungry and he could introduce her to everyone while he fed her dinner.
However he obviously hadn’t anticipated his friend’s not knowing what the hell he was talking about.
He had told them you were pregnant and how excited he was for Daisy’s arrival. He’d had a month off school when she was born. Only returning 2 weeks earlier and when asked about his time off he had babbled nonstop for an entire lunch break about how perfect his little one was, how happy she made him and how tired you both were. 
Because damn were you both tired. 
You weren’t sure where Eddie had pulled this campaign from or the energy he had used to decorate the place. You were worried most mornings that he would crash on the way to school. The way he was barely able to keep his eyes open, falling asleep at the kitchen counter and nearly drowning in his cereal.
You were pretty sure he hadn’t learnt a thing at school since he’d been back. He was so exhausted, he could barely hold a conversation. 
Not that you could talk. You were just as bad and right now, you weren’t even supposed to be there. You were supposed to be home, sleeping.
As far as Eddie was aware, you were. You had left the AV room over an hour earlier. Saying goodbye to him and your Bub.
You did intend to go home and sleep through all the trick-or-treating door knockers.
But it was the first time you had been away from Daisy since she had been born and you hadn’t anticipated the overwhelming feeling of guilt that had washed over you as you’d closed the door with her on the other side of it.
You would have gone back in immediately if Eddie wasn’t so insistent that 1. He let you rest and 2. He was going to introduce Daisy to the guys.
He had a plan on how to do it dramatically. You had chuckled at that. Because of course he did. 
He wasn’t just going to have them walk in and be sitting there on his throne, holding a baby. 
He had written her into the campaign. When they made it to the specific spot in the story where it would be perfect to introduce her or when she woke up. Whatever happened first was fine. He was going to present her to them as a surprise NPC that afforded them all special bonuses. 
It was a very cute idea but it hinged pretty heavily on the ‘spooky’ atmosphere with the doll hanging from the stroller being a red herring and the guys not noticing your actual baby sleeping in the bed of it.
If you were honest, you thought the guys would still see it coming from a mile away but you hadn’t said anything. Wanting to let the sleep deprived new Dad have his small amount of fun. Even if the guys clocked her immediately and didn’t end up being surprised. It would still be a nice little moment for him.
You’d felt yucky about leaving Daisy behind as you walked to the parking lot. You trusted Eddie with her whole-heartedly but ‘Mom guilt’ as the midwives had called it, was strong.
You had fed her to sleep just before you left and knew she would be fine for at least two hours even if she didn’t sleep the whole time. Eddie had promised that the campaign would only take around that long and if she woke up before then and desperately needed you, he would walkie and you could drive back over since you guys only lived a couple of minutes from the school.
He had a bottle of formula in the diaper bag just in case he needed it for her. But you weren’t sure if she would even take it for him. It wasn’t an issue for her to have it. You’d just never been away from her long enough before for someone else to need to feed her. 
Not even Eddie.
You had made it almost all the way to the car before you’d stopped in place and stared at the cracked bitumen under your feet for a long moment. Not sure you could actually go ahead with leaving her.
You’d sighed, deciding to head back inside. Intending to sit in on Hellfire if Eddie didn’t outright postpone the start time to drive you home and put you to bed.
You were about to turn around when you heard someone call your name. The Hellfire guys had arrived sometime during your contemplation and were running towards you excitedly. 
You hadn’t seen them in a really long time. Probably since you were in your first trimester of pregnancy.
You had found out you were expecting in the middle of your first year at College and you were determined to finish at least one year before the baby arrived. So trips home to see your love were rare. When you did make it back to Hawkins you were so exhausted from working overtime to get your coursework done that you just wanted to spend time at home with Eddie. Enjoying the last of your quality time together before you became a family of three.
It was nice to see the guys briefly in the parking lot of Hawkins High like old times. It cheered you up somewhat and you spent a long few minutes catching up with them.
However, it had become apparent pretty quickly into the interaction that they had no intention of congratulating you on the birth of your first child. A very strange interaction if you were honest but you kept up the friendly face as if nothing was amiss.
It wasn’t until Gareth had rolled his eyes and said:
“You know he’s telling everyone you just had a baby.”
The rest of the guys had chortled at the notion, making you frown as he continued somewhat candidly.
“So obviously that’s not true.” He said derisively, gesturing towards your body and making you bristle. You supposed the implication was that you were the same size you had been the last time they had seen you and there was no way your body could have grown and nourished a child over the last nine months and then gone back to looking the same as it did before within such a short span of time.
These assholes…
You’d thought to yourself, not replying as the men in front of you all nodded in agreement with Gareth’s statement. 
Did they expect you to suddenly shape shift into a different person just because you were a Mom now?
I guess they will be surprised.
You’d concluded, smirking to yourself as you bid them a terse goodnight and watched them walk inside the building with the belief that Eddie was lying about his personal life.
Well, you certainly couldn’t go home then. It seemed like Eddie was going to be able to put on quite the show and you wanted to see how it panned out. 
Afterall you figured you’d probably only just make it home before you were being called on the Walkie to come back.
You had snuck into the AV Room via the second entrance and hid behind the curtain at first. Moving closer and dipping down behind the windmill as you tried not to laugh at the sound of Eddie talking with fake fangs in his mouth.
You had slumped down on the ground and waited way longer than you had thought you would have to. Not proud of the fact that you had nodded off once or twice. Jolting awake after a particularly loud exclamation from someone at the table and hoping you hadn’t been snoring.
You guessed this was probably the typical newborn experience. Baby never sleeps more than an hour at a time except for when you, yourself could be sleeping but had chosen not to because you had been convinced she would need you again within minutes.
Just when you were starting to think you’d have to ruin Eddie’s surprise by standing up and checking that the baby was still breathing, she had begun to cry and you had done your best to shuffle out of view so Eddie didn’t see you when he moved towards the stroller to pick her up.
He was too distracted by her to notice you anyway. Thank goodness because you had not thought about the implication of hearing the baby cry and your body responding to it, ready to do its job. You had been distracted by your aching breasts and the milk leaking into your bra that Daisy could definitely smell from her place on Dad’s chest about three feet away.
There was no way he was getting her to settle now. Mistakes had been made and you knew then that it was only a matter of time until you had to reveal yourself to help Eddie out. It was just the matter of when exactly to do it so that you didn’t ruin the moment Eddie had been planning all week for.
Luckily for you, you supposed, the guys had ruined it for you. Being rude and not believing the baby was even real.
You felt bad for not correcting them in the parking lot. But you hadn’t done so on the premise that Eddie would get to have his fun reveal moment.
“Happy Halloween…”  You grimaced at the guys, turning to them and taking in the shocked expressions around the table. Each boy appeared to be in a different stage of grief as their eyes roamed from you to Eddie, to the baby in your arms, back to Eddie, back to you.
“But…” One of them began, trailing off as Eddie looked between you and the guys as well. Trying to figure out what he had missed. 
“Wait…” Someone else started, also trailing off as they tried to make sense of the situation.
“What the fuck is happening?” Eddie murmured under his breath, just as confused as everyone else. 
So you weren’t spying… But you didn’t go home? What did you mean Happy Halloween? Were you pranking them? Was that directed at him or the guys?
A thousand questions ran through his mind at once. He opened his mouth to ask some of them and was immediately cut off by Gareth.
“You don’t look pregnant!” He shouted, again gesturing at your body and making your eyes darken dangerously as Jeff elbowed him in the ribs.
“I’m not.” You replied curtly. “I was.” You clarified, one hand tapping against the baby’s bottom to make your point. “But I’m not anymore.”
“But you didn’t…” He gasped out, winded from being elbowed. “You didn’t say that–” He tried, voice strained.
Eddie turned to you with a questioning gaze. Brows raised as he waited for an explanation.
“Didn’t say?” He asked you, specifically. “When did you even see them?”
You sighed softly, deciding to explain to the whole room and answer Eddie’s question all at once.  
“Eddie wanted to surprise you.” You huffed to the group, as if that much was obvious. “I figured if I corrected you when I ran into you earlier that you would know straight away that Eddie had the baby because she wasn’t with me and the surprise would be ruined.” You said with a shrug, finally turning to Eddie. “I ran into them in the parking lot and it was obvious they didn’t realize you were telling the truth about Daisy so I let them run with it for the sake of the dramatics.” You said apologetically. “I just wanted to see how that played out before I went home.” You added, peeking down at Daisy under the blanket covering her and making sure she was alright. “But, it didn’t go as I expected.” You admitted.
“Oh.” Eddie replied quietly, following your eyes to the blanket and frowning to himself as the room fell silent once again.
He appreciated the sentiment but it hadn’t exactly helped him. Although he supposed, you were right and it probably wouldn’t have helped him keep his surprise if you’d corrected them either.
Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.
He had been so excited about his little Halloween oneshot. But none of it had worked out anywhere near how he thought it would.
He was feeling defeated.
“I’m sure it was all a misunderstanding.” You continued loudly, interrupting his thoughts as your eyes bored into each of the men in front of you in turn. Desperately trying to get them to say something that corroborated your ‘theory’. “Because they are your friends and they do listen to you.” You added through gritted teeth when no one spoke up.
“Yeah!” Grant defended quickly, catching your drift and jumping into action. 
“We are.” Gareth agreed.
“And we do!” Jeff piled on.
The freshman nodded along as well. Big smiles on their faces as Eddie scowled at them all, looking a little too sad for someone that was dressed as a vampire.
“It’s just that like…” Jeff began, looking to Gareth and Grant for back up.
“You fuck with us a lot.” Gareth finished, a murmur of agreement making its way around the table as Eddie scoffed at them derisively. 
“I do not!” He argued meekly. Shrinking under the collective tired stare of the group and also your knowing gaze from by his side.
“What about when you said your Dad hatched an elaborate plan to steal drugs from his former partners and sell them to Rick for a quick buck?” Jeff asked, arms crossed over his chest.
“That happened!” Eddie justified, throwing his shoulders up as the guys all exchanged sneers. 
That did happen. 
You hadn’t been dating at the time but you knew about it from your place on the sidelines. You opened your mouth to defend him but didn’t get it out before another example was being thrown around.
“Well, what about when you told us that some assistant to a big music producer.” Gareth paused, waving his hands around to emphasize how silly it sounded. “Came to The Hideout and scouted Corroded Coffin before I joined and tried to take you to L.A to become a rockstar?” He laughed, turning to the guys for support and frowning at Jeff’s grimace.
“That did actually happen, I was there for that.” He interjected, one finger pointing towards the ceiling.
“See!” Eddie gestured towards him with his whole hand.
“Okay well guys come on…” Gareth continued. “He also said that Chrissy Cunningham tried to buy drugs from him the night she died.”
“She did!” Eddie exclaimed, voice higher than usual.
“And don’t forget that he’s apparently friends with Steve Harrington now.” Grant laughed heartily, the older guys erupting into laughter as the Freshman exchanged anxious looks with one another. 
“That’s also true!” Eddie argued incredulously before Dustin piped up:
“Yeah, that one is actually true too.” He said, hissing through his teeth.
“It’s all true!” Eddie shouted, desperation in his tone. 
“Look, the point is Eddie you lie like, all the time.” Gareth justified weakly, gesturing around the room as if any of them had actually managed to come up with a solid lie Eddie had told that hadn’t been corroborated by other person in the room. “So…” He said, dragging out the word.
“But I’m not lying!” Eddie argued, bordering on whiny. “All of those things happened to me! Including this!” He added, thrusting his hand towards you and the baby.
Silence fell on the room once more. The slap of Eddie’s hand falling back against his thigh seemed to echo in the small space as he shook his head at them all. Turning to you with pleading eyes as if to ask you to convince them he was telling the truth.
You felt bad for him, smiling apologetically as you slowly slipped down to sit in his throne. Your tired legs giving out as you waited for someone else to say something. You weren’t sure why they still seemed to look unconvinced or what you could even say to persuade them. 
You were literally holding the baby in front of them. All the evidence they should need to understand.
A sniff caught your attention and you looked back up to Eddie quickly, horrified at the thought that he had potentially begun to cry. But to your surprise he was now looking back at the guys, a puzzled expression on his face as the sound happened again.
Your own head turned to look them over, watching in confusion as everyone stayed so defiantly staunch that the quiver of Dustin’s lips and the small change in his breathing was as obvious as if he had just burst out into laughter immediately.
Mike’s elbow connected with his side gently. A motion that was meant to be discreet but again in the stillness of the room seemed as blatant as if he had just tackled the other boy to the ground.
“I can’t keep it in…” Dustin ground out, his eyes wide as the other guys all began to huff and sigh. The barely contained laughter of the kid that was decidedly, Eddie’s best friend, was infectious. Lucas sniffed as well and snowballed Grant into a snort that triggered Jeff.
Slowly one by one the group began to laugh. Soft murmurs of mirth at first that quickly turned into the hearty sound of chortling as they all nodded at one another knowingly, as if making a silent decision before Dustin turned to the head of the table.
“Trick or treat!” He shouted, throwing his hands up and leading the rest of the club into doing the same.
“Trick or Treat!” They mimicked. Shouting in synchrony and throwing their hands up in unison as if welcoming the guest of honor into a surprise party.
Eddie balked at the exclamation, not expecting it and certainly not understanding it at all.
Was he the guest of honor?
“What?” He asked tiredly, shaking his head and slumping his shoulders. He had no idea what was going on. Exhausted with the shifting emotions in the room as the guys all seemed to delight in the notion that he still didn’t understand.
“The ultimate trick!” Gareth clarified, pointing at the DM with a brave finger as Jeff and Gareth clapped each other on the back. 
“You fell for it.” Mike laughed, seeming genuinely surprised.
“Damn, I guess having a baby really does mess with your brain.” Dustin theorized as you and Eddie shared a look of bewilderment.
“Wait…” It was Eddie’s turn to trail off. “What?” He asked again, mirroring the way the guys had asked it earlier. “What’s going on? I’m so confused.” He complained, rubbing at his forehead with one hand as he tried to make sense of the situation.
“Oh damn.” Jeff laughed, wincing. “I feel kind of bad.” He mumbled as Eddie scowled at him.
“Dude…” Grant said loudly, commanding Eddie’s attention. “We were pranking you Man.” He laughed, gesturing towards you and the baby. “For Halloween?” He said slowly, dragging out the words as if Eddie was too simple to understand them. 
“Of course we know who Daisy is.” Jeff laughed awkwardly. “How could we not?”
“Yeah you haven’t exactly shut up about her since you’ve been back.” Mike added, groaning as Dustin got him back for the elbow earlier.
“Yeah I didn’t think you’d fall for it.” Jeff admitted uneasily. “Honestly I thought Mama Bear over there was gonna’ murder Gareth for the comment he made outside.” He said scandalously as Gareth had the decorum to shoot you an apologetic look.
“You look amazing by the way.” He said quickly as both sets of eyes turned on him and Eddie had to stop himself from asking what the comment was unless he wanted this to become an actual haunted room.
Although he wasn’t too worried about Gareth’s ghost disrupting his sessions anymore than alive Gareth already did.
“Wait so…” Eddie said again, closing his eyes and making the group groan collectively as he desperately tried to make sense of the situation. 
“Okay, this has kind of spiraled from fun into mean.” Mike interjected, looking around at the other guys and all of them nodding in agreement. “We knew you guys were tired but we didn’t realize you were that tired.” He said with a grimace.
“Yeah…” Dustin agreed as both you and Eddie stared at them all blankly, trying to wrap sleep deprived brains around the situation. “It was meant to be a really simple prank. Like opposite day or some shit.” He laughed uncomfortably. “We didn’t think you’d take us seriously, I mean we’ve seen a picture of her for Christ’s sake.” 
Eddie had momentarily forgotten about the polaroid he’d taken of Daisy not long after she was born. Currently residing in his wallet after having been passed around the lunch table six times over until he finally decided she’d been given enough compliments and took it back.
“Oh.” Eddie hummed, ruminating on his first week at school and remembering, vaguely, the interaction.
He didn’t remember too much of the last six weeks in general if he was honest.
“That was mean guys.” You murmured with a frown. Trying not to be too hard on them since you were honestly just glad that they hadn’t truly believed Eddie was lying about his personal life.
You looked to Eddie. Waiting for him to say something but instead you were faced with the blank stare of a man that you were pretty sure still didn’t truly understand what was going on.
Dustin took it upon himself to take a step forward.
“We knew you were going to do something insane tonight. It wouldn’t be Halloween without you trying to pull the wool over our eyes somehow and we kind of thought you had been setting us up for a big prank for the last month so... We all agreed to just roll with whatever it was, no matter how insane we looked and prank you back.” He explained, waving open palms over his face in big exaggerated movements to show the scale of their operation.. “But now it’s sad.” He said with a nod, lips pressed together and brows raised in concern as Eddie narrowed his eyes at the other man. 
The kid ignored it, placing a grounding hand on Eddie’s bicep. 
“Congratulations man.” He said definitively, watching as Eddie’s brows shot up in surprise. “You’re a lucky man.” He said, nodding at you and the baby.
Eddie took in a sharp breath, turning himself away, unexpectedly overcome with emotion at the statement.
It was really all he wanted from them in the first place.
An acknowledgment of his new life and how lucky he was to be living it.
“Yep. Thanks.” He said quickly, refusing to look at them. “You know you’re supposed to let me choose if I want a trick or a treat right?” He asked, his sentence clipped with the terse edge of someone that was trying not to cry. “You can’t just yell trick or treat after tricking someone.”
“You tricked us first!” Gareth argued at the statement. Jeff’s hand landed heavy on his shoulder as Eddie whirled back around to face them suddenly. Emotions forgotten or maybe just consolidated into anger as he took offence at the blatant lie.
“It wasn’t a trick!” He gasped, scandalized. “It was a surprise!” He panted. “With treats!” He added, throwing his arm out towards the unfinished game in front of them. “The Angel of Good Fortune had gifts for you all!” He exclaimed, gesturing wildly at all of them at once as he stared incredulously at the ungrateful group before him. “No wonder the poor thing was inconsolable, you ingrates wouldn’t accept her presents.” He said pointedly, crossing his arms over his chest as you stifled a laugh at the statement.
Yes, that was why. It had nothing to do with Mommy hiding a few feet away and leaking dinner into her bra.
You didn’t say anything, letting Eddie have the win as you looked down at your little angel and realized she was finished eating already.
You shook your head at her. 
The audacity to make all that fuss and only feed for a few minutes. 
She obviously wasn’t hungry and should have taken the pacifier but all the yelling from the club had startled her into wanting Mom when she knew she was nearby.
Or maybe Eddie was right. You conceded privately. She was just upset that the guys didn’t accept her gifts.
You smiled at the thought of Daisy growing up to DM just like her Daddy.
No doubt she would be just as dramatic.
You shifted her in your arms as the boys argued. Covering yourself up again and removing the blanket so she could breathe easy now that she was content to lay still in your arms.
She blinked up at you with milk-drunk eyes, lids falling closed slowly as she began to drift off again. Her little lips sucked at the air and made you smile.
“And another fucking thing!” Eddie began, startled by you tugging on his cloak and jerking your head towards the baby in your arms.
“Language!” You chastised gently. As if the poor thing hadn’t been listening in on some of the most intense arguing you’d ever witnessed for the first hour of the session. 
“Oh, sorry.” Eddie said quickly, turning back to the guys. “And another… Thing!” He repeated, omitting the swear, this time stage whispering as he pointed at them. “Your ass- Uh, butts, are still stuck behind that obstacle!” He whisper-shouted. “Good luck getting through them without the Good Fortune she would have afforded you.” He snipped, waving his hand towards the baby.
Silence descended on them all once again as all eyes in the room turned to look at Daisy.
“Why can’t we just step over—“ Dustin began to ask, being cut off by Gareth.
“Can’t she just give us our fortune now?” He asked with a shrug, looking between the baby in your arms and your boyfriend who looked as though he was ten seconds away from a conniption.
“No!” He snapped, exasperated. “You lost that privilege when you decided to pretend she wasn’t real.”
“Oh come on Eddie, please!” Mike pleaded, turning to you instead when his pleas fell on deaf ears. “You were as much at fault as we were!” He defended weakly. “Can’t you convince him?”
Eddie’s attention snapped to you quickly, a warning in his dark eyes as he wordlessly told you that no, you could not.
“Well…” You began, Eddie’s eye twitching at the word. “I think maybe you should let Daisy decide if she wants to give you her good fortune.” You said casually, making the teen scoff. 
“But she’s a baby?” He said in a weird way that was halfway between a question and a definitive statement.
Eddie gasped suddenly, turning back to the guys with glee in his eyes as he smiled at them with the unhinged grin they had come to both love and fear.
“Yes.” He said breathlessly. “Yes, let Daisy decide!” He said a little too excitedly. “You’ll probably have to beg.” He added, unable to keep the mirth from his tone as he leaned down to you and gestured for you to move closer to the edge of the chair.
You did so, scooching forward and holding the baby a little further from your body as you angled her towards the guys,
“She won’t stay settled like this.” You warned Eddie. “Better make it fast.”
“That’s the plan.” He murmured so only you could hear.
You sniffed out a laugh. 
Of course it was. 
Anything to make the club suffer a little harder after they’d pulled one over on the DM.
You figured you’d probably be taking Daisy home now anyway. May as well let Eddie have his fun watching the guys beg as penance for their sins and then deny them their fortune that would help them get out of the haunted house ride before midnight.
They were going to have a hell of a time with all the disadvantages Eddie gave them after Daisy cracked it from her uncomfortable position and he could claim that not only did she refuse to give them her fortune but that she had handed them some misfortune as recompense.
“Alright, who’s begging?” Dustin asked jovially. Hands on his hips as he turned to the group, ready for a manly discussion only to find that all eyes were on him. “Oh come on!” He shouted, throwing up his arms in exasperation. “Fine!” He sighed, a little too quickly, taking a breath and turning to you with conviction.
He knew he wasn’t winning that argument and he wanted to get this over with as fast as possible.
“Please!” He exclaimed suddenly, dropping to his knees in front of the throne and pressing his hands together in prayer. He bowed towards Daisy. Trying his best to ignore the unhinged smile forming on her Father’s face and the disappointed look on yours. “Please oh Goddess of Good Fortune–”
“Angel.” Eddie interrupted, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.
“Oh Angel of Good Fortune.” Dustin corrected, “Please choose to still mpart us with your wisdom–”
“Gifts!” Eddie said sharply.
“Gifts!” The kid corrected again, looking up at Eddie with narrowed eyes before turning back to the baby. “Please impart us with your generous gifts and help us through this obstacle we are stuck behind and are not allowed to just step over.” He said derisively, making the group behind him chuckle.
“What do you think Baby?” Eddie asked Daisy directly, bending down and resting his hands on his knees as he stared at his newest love with doe eyes. “Should we still give them your gifts?” He asked, voice gentle and softer than they’d ever heard before as he cooed at her.
Daisy blinked up at him. Paying no mind to you or any of the other people in the room, least of all Dustin as she shifted uncomfortably. Little lip beginning to tremble.
“Well.” Eddie laughed, pushing his palms off his thighs and standing straight again. “I think that-” Eddie began, looking at Dustin smugly.
“Oh my God!” You gasped suddenly, cutting Eddie off and making his head snap back down towards his daughter. He watched, mouth agape as she moved her little head up and down. Seemingly nodding in response to his question.
“What the fuck…” He whispered hastily, recoiling.
“Language!” You chastised again, tone wavering as you also stared in shock at your newborn that had apparently understood her Dad’s complex question.
Now that was spooky.
“How did you do that?” Eddie asked Dustin quickly, reminiscent of the way they had asked him when Daisy had spat the pacifier across the table.
Dustin shrugged, looking just as bewildered from his place on the floor. His hands that had previously been outstretched as if in prayer were now withdrawn to his chest as he leaned away from the baby.
Wary of her.
He turned back to the group slowly. All of them standing there in shock as they watched the interaction between their teammate and what appeared to be a completely conscious baby.
“Well, it’s settled then.” Gareth said quickly, everyone turning to him slowly as he shrugged and gestured towards the table with one hand. “The Godd- Uh, Angel, has spoken.” He smiled, looking around at the other guys and jerking his head towards the game. “Shall we?” He asked, pulling out his chair and sitting down in front of his character sheet.
No one else moved for a long moment. Not even you as you stared down at your little one and tried to figure out if she could understand you or not.
“Uh… Sure.” Eddie replied when no one else made a move. He turned to you with worried eyes. “Did you want to…” He trailed off as you snapped back to yourself, realizing Daisy was probably still uncomfortable as she wriggled around in your arms. You repositioned her, nodded at Eddie’s question with an equally concerned expression.
Yes, you definitely wanted to go home and yes you would take the baby so the guys could finally finish their ill fated journey through the haunted mansion. 
Even though you were honestly a little scared of her right now and wished Eddie would come with you.
Maybe you’d go and visit Wayne instead…
“I’m sure Eddie can speak for The Angel.” You chuckled awkwardly. “She needs to go home and get some proper rest in a quiet room.” You explained, leaning towards the diaper bag Eddie had stashed under the table and stopping half way as he dove for it instead to save your back. 
“I will speak for The Angel…” Eddie began, frowning as he helped you get up from his throne. “Even though I am starting to wonder if she can speak for herself…” He added quietly, sounding skeptical. “But first I’m gonna walk these guys to the car.” Eddie said apologetically, placing a hand on your back and turning towards the main entry of the room as you bid goodnight to the club.
“Oh!” You said, stopping by the door. “The pacifier?” You asked Eddie. Watching as he pointed a finger in the air and turned back towards the guys.
“It’s right he-” He paused, sidling up between Dustin and Mike and staring at the blank spot on the game mat where it had landed earlier.
“Here!” Gareth interjected, finishing Eddie’s sentence as he held up the pink paci and made a motion like he was going to throw it. 
Eddie held out his hands in response.
“Thanks man.” He said, as he caught it between his palms. Returning to you and leaving the club in stunned silence as you both left the room and headed towards the parking lot.
“Really?” Dustin asked, sounding exhausted but impressed none-the-less. “Using the pacifier to make the baby nod?” He asked as Gareth grinned from ear to ear and each of the other members of the club began to catch on to what transpired earlier. “You realize they’re scared of their baby now?” He asked. “That’s diabolical.”
“Not as diabolical as you pretending we all planned a prank and totally knew what the fuck was going on earlier.” The other teen shot back immediately, looking around after he spoke in fear that Eddie had somehow returned without them noticing.
“I’m just surprised you all caught on to be honest.” Dustin said earnestly as they all argued back about the statement.
“Seriously though…” Grant began when the shouting died down. “Did any of you think that baby was real for a second?” He asked quietly, eyes flicking towards the door as an affirmative murmur moved around the table.
“God no.”
“Not a chance.”
“Nope.”
“Absolutely not.” 
“Good.” Grant nodded. “I stared to think I was the only one that thought Eddie was full of shit.” He admitted, falling silent as the sound of Eddie’s footsteps coming back up the hallway forced them into a huddle to discuss how they were going to move through the obstacle they were stuck behind if Eddie decided they really didn’t deserve Daisy’s gifts.  
“Sorry about that guys.” Eddie sighed as he slumped down in his throne once more. He leaned back in his chair, ready to press play on the tape player and resume the ambient sounds. His fingers sliding over the buttons and furrowing his brows as he picked it up instead so he could look at it. “Ah shit.” He laughed, holding it in his lap.
“What?” Dustin asked, looking between the DM and the device.
“I thought I stopped it, but I guess I hit record instead.” He sighed. “Oh well, I guess it’s a good thing.” He shrugged. “Daisy will get a kick out of your prank one day.”
~
A/N: I hope you guys like this little Halloween Treat. Please let me know if you did. I don't really write x reader fics anymore so would appreciate the encouragement. xx
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gabrielapazlima · 4 months ago
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Why do i ship Cuddlejump⚡️❤️
(Hoppy hopscotch x Bobby bearhug)
And how i see their dynamic being like!
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if you guys follow me for a while you guys may already noticed my very normal adimiration for the ship between hoppy hopscotch and bobby bearhug from the smiling critters...its not like they are 90% of my art gallery and that i cannot shut the fuck up about this ship hahaha right?
well,yea,i really,really,REALLY like them- its a ship that i pratically came up with first than anyone and somehow other ppl ended up found of them....but why? Why does Gabriela da paz lima is so normally obcessed with the ideia of a green tomboy rabbit n a red carebear being a couple?
At fist you may think "Uhh it is probally because of the classic tomboy tough girl x soft girly girl archetype right?" and yea,i can see why ppl think that is a very famous lesbian ship dynamic i respect ppl that are solid into them bc of it.... but its deeper to me than that...first i want to talk abt hoppy n bobby's solo characters first!
Hoppy Hopscotch⚡️🐰
ngl when i entered this fandom she was like,my favorite...i still love her tho
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she is basically the energetic tomboy of the group acording w her official descreptions,she is also know as THE big motivation force of the critters,always pushing them out their comfort and have a very adventuous n positive spirit-
BUT she have very noticeble characters flaws as well,not only she is quite loud but she tends to be bossy n really impatient,being described as someone that can be "handful to deal with",and before the book release she is literaly the only critters with her character flaws listed-
i always liked how her personality is kinda complexish in comparassion to other critters,she is clealy have a good heart,very loyal n likes to help the others (which we can see in her cardboard line) but she can come up as rough n "overwhelming" in the way that she does it,she doesnt have the intention of hurt or being mean but she still comes as rude due her lack of patience n understanding( cof cof autism) of ppl's limits-
i really like her i feel like she is SO underrated:( you guys have to STOP make her a bully,she is NOT like that.)
Bobby bearhug🐻❤️
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i love bobby so much that is not even funny,she is my kin baby-
she seems to be the typical shallow love girl at first sight but...theres so much more abt this carebear....
in her descreptions she is basically the mom friend of the group,she is here to keep her friends together not matter what,she is very phisically affecionate,she is emotional inteligent being very patient n understanding ( which is kinda of what hoppy lacks 👀) n her compassion don't limits itself to only hed friends but to things,places n basically any living thing-
she seems to be pretty much the perfect girl right?...well yea almost....and then theres her voice lines that give a very tonal shift to her character....
"i love you to the moon and back!im CRAZY about you...im lost without you...i been lost a long time....please take me with you this time....you'won't leave,will you?!"
at first it seems some kinda yandere shit but reading more and more deep in that,it sounds so desesperate n sad tbh...i seems like she is not thay confident by herself n DEEPLY fears the abandoment...which is...very ironical for HER character...
"But these lines are about the bbis destiny" yea i know but these lines are ALSO reflected in their cartoon personalities,like kickin being scared n hoppy being impatient...it very likely that is ALSO linked to her canon personality as well...which also makes me think in what amber said about her...
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Damn thats....so relatable...i always try my best to be there for other ppl but im always so hard to myself when i know that i should not....thats a perfect irony to the "love character"...
she does not have that much of strong will for herself,she does not love herself in the same way that she loves everyone...she feels weak and defenceless n unwanted being at her own because she doesnt feel enough...
fuck,im crying...They will NEVER make me hate you,bobby bearhug.
🐰⚡️About Hoppy n Bobby's relationship🐻❤️
you see...they are both are very complex girls that love to support people on their own distinte ways,hoppy is the more of phisical support crittet while bobby is the emotional support critter- they deeply care about their friends and they want see them trying news things...i would say that they both valorize support over anything,thats their main atribute-
but they are also deeply flawed in very different ways,hoppy is impatient,bossy n can come off as rude bc of her lack of caring side....also very reckless as consequence....(kinda the reason of why she died) Bobby is very emotional dependent which causes her to panic over the ideia of being alone n doesnt like trying to push herself to do anything when she is feeling too alone( that also can be the reason of why she died)...
they flaws n qualities...weidly compliment each other well...hoppy needs more emotional inteligence n more understanding,not only of other ppl's limits but her own limits.... Bobby needs strengh will and motivation due her deep insecurities and self loath,she can be stronger than she is at her own,and hoppy can show that to her-
i feel like they dynamic is really strong and be summarized as "Besides all our differences,we value the same thing and in the end of the day,i really need you"
i just REALLY love comprimentary duos + opposite atract sorry- call me basic bitch.
💚More of their dynamic plus personal headcanons❤️
i like to think that hoppy would be sighly unconfortable with bobby's affection fowards her at first but she is slowly beggins to enjoy it and reciprocate it-
i also like to think that they would be the ones to come up with the group's activities together,hoppy tries to do batshit insane stuff but bobby tones them down to be safier-(they MIGHT go into lil fights abt it)
also hoppy really enjoys bobby's anger/tough moments because she is surprising REALLY strong but she always never show it-
hoppy also tends to be emotional but she nevr shows it util bobby find it by her own and she ended uo breaking her tough girl persona in front of her(which of course bobby accepts)
Bobby,hoppy n kickin were kinda of a trio and they basically the over loving girl,the cool "chill" guy and the hyperative dumbass...it fits them...
i have a MILLIONS of stuff to say about them but i would be here forever sooo i hope you guys have enjoyed my yapping about cuddlejump:)
BYE!!!
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tinystepsforward · 3 months ago
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automattic vs wp engine mastterpost
adrienne's GitHub recap is probably the best place to see a comprehensive timeline of what's going down. it's been kept up to date. my (very out of date) previous writeup is here.
what's happened/other links
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Matt has not logged off, just switched platforms, so there's lots on X/Twitter, Reddit, and Hacker News. it's really not worth wading through.
WP Engine actually filed suit.
the complaint includes some truly remarkable screenshots of Matt trying to blackmail the CEO of WP Engine.
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which... personally i would not happily work for someone who just blackmailed me while not even my boss, but that's just me. he hasn't denied this at all, in fact confirming on Hacker News:
I haven't doxxed any private texts from other parties like they have. [source]
and, notably,
I even invited her to my 40th birthday on Jan 11, another text message she decided not to share. [source]
this gives me the creeps. in the context of the rest of the way he's talking to her, and the ways in which he's interacted with women in general, it's. not great.
also he slid into an ex-employee (also a woman)'s DMs asking why she was being mean to him bc he'd never been nothing but nice to her, while also making legal threats. so y'know, pattern of behaviour.
a good writeup of the social side of things
if you don't care so much about the open-source stuff, Steph Lundberg's writeup is, like her previous one on Matt's Tumblr meltdown, pretty solid and people-focused.
Mullenweg has already demonstrated egregious lapses in judgment and abuses of power, it’s just that up until now he’s wielded his power against vulnerable populations without access to high-powered lawyers and their own massive platforms.
a more technical writeup
this one is melodramatic in the same ways Matt was (uses war terminology), which i don't agree with, and which led to some... internal arguments at Automattic. that part's not my story to tell, but a little more on that later. it's a solid writeup of the actual WordPress side of things. there's some seriously dodgy trademark behaviour going on here.
of note: this blogger locked comments on his post:
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and then Matt, uh, found a way around that:
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wild!
10% of Automattic leaves
that's a link to Matt's blog post. here's an Internet Archive link.
in short, staff were offered a severance deal of the higher of $30k or six months' salary. while that's very generous, it's still very risky in today's tech market, especially (for the same reasons i mentioned when Matt was melting down on here) for people outside the US, people who need the health insurance, or people with young kids. despite that, 10% decided with very little notice (they had two days to decide) to leave.
However now, I feel much lighter. I’m grateful and thankful for all the people who took the offer, and even more excited to work with those who turned down $126M to stay. As the kids say, LFG!
i'm thrilled to see some of my ex-colleagues make it out. i'm keeping the rest who have stayed on in my thoughts. i don't know anyone who's wholesale shilling for Matt.
Matt's been pressuring staff to post in support of him, @-ing the entire company to vote on Twitter polls in his favor, and so on. many of the people who stayed have written blog posts about it, all starting with "I stayed". people on social media have pointed out the very clear pattern of Automatticians jumping into discourse to defend Matt, and it doesn't look good.
i don't have a lot to say about those posts, except to highlight Jeffrey Zeldman, whose "I stayed" post is perhaps one of the more honest ones. (his Rodney King reference was in poor taste, and he... i don't like his role at automattic, tbc) but like. he's nearly 70. he helped shape the modern internet and develop its accessibility standards. he has often put his neck on the line for disabled staff who don't have as much clout as he does. given the financial troubles he talks about and the state of this market and how old he is, i personally have read between the lines of what he's saying in a particular way.
fuck, man. i'm sad. i'm sad for all my friends who are creaking under the strain and watching others leave but who can't do that. i'm sad that many of them are left in teams which are half-empty or divisions where significant senior leadership are just gone, with no time to document what they had in progress.
i'm sad for Josepha Haden Chomphosy, the former executive director of the WordPress Foundation, who was dealing with a personal emergency and ended up having to miss WordCamp US (where Matt started publicly starting shit with WPE). she came back from that to a gigantic fire in the community she's invested a decade of careful, Matt-negotiating, stewardship to, and decided to take the severance offer. she deserved better.
other things Matt's been up to
mostly linking to comments or posts which compile things here, bc it's too scattered otherwise.
blocking people from the official WordPress X account if they disapprove of his actions.
publicly talking about a vulnerability in ACF, a plugin WPE maintains, which could put thousands of sites at risk. this is not normal, and he met with so much horror even from current staff that he deleted his post.
saying he comes across badly because he's "a little ASD", which is driving me personally up the fucking wall. he's never once said it before and he really is turning into Temu Elon.
generally bragging that he still has more planned. jesus fucking christ
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continually saying that WPE's suit is against WordPress.org and the community, which is not true. on which note, his pinned tweet is certainly something:
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his choice of lawyer is uh. the kind of guy to defend nestle against literal child slaves.
as always, while i think WordPress crumbling will disproportionately affect websites in poorer parts of the world, there are certainly tyrants who are causing much more immediate and potent suffering. if you've read this far, please do send anything you have spare to gazafunds.com.
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azen13 · 5 months ago
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Your thoughts about yandere zhongli but in the au where you are the archon are tasty.... unfortunately, I don't think Zhongli will keep your Gnosis because it would be reneging on a contact and he is Contracts. But imagine... what if you sealed Morax away, and he (much like Azhdaha in canon) managed to split off a small part of himself to exist as a human, "Zhongli" the funeral parlour consultant? Your most devout worshipper.... until he frees your old enemy and friend, Morax. ♡
anon ur so real for this. i 100% agree zhongli wouldn't keep ur gnosis bc. god of contracts. the part about splitting off a small part of himself??? u truly ate. anyways here's a little drabble based on that idea! i had to rewrite it bc my laptop died and i lost my progress sobs
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
CW: Yandere Themes, Implied Stalking
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Every prayer made in your name is like a melody. They float across Teyvat, weaving together in a resonant unceasing chorus. From a young child wishing for protection for her father, to an old man begging for more time with his wife.
But beneath all the moving lines, beneath all the trills and mordents, is a peculiar prayer. A low, droning hum, one that seems to have gone on for centuries. When you listen to other prayers, you can glean out what it is saying. But while this one speaks in a language you know, it utters words you cannot understand. No matter how many sleepless nights you spend trying to decode its desires, they remain incomprehensible.
All that you know is that the person speaking it is deeply, utterly in love.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
You hear it one day when you walk through the streets of Liyue, masquerading amongst mortals to understand their troubles. The sun has barely risen, its first rays turning the eaves of homes a warm amber color as you walk through Chihu rock.
Then you hear it. That low, rumbling tone, like an earthquake. It's coming from all around you, but you can't see anyone in front of you, so you spin around.
All you see is a man dressed in fine clothing, a slightly confused expression plastered on his face. Harmless. Unassuming. Even still, you cannot help but think that he looks strikingly like Morax.
"My apologies, I thought I heard something." You offer a kind smile, ready to turn away quickly, but the stranger steps forward.
"You are quite alright. It is quite early in the morning, so some exercise must be cautioned," he says, Cor Lapis colored eyes gazing at you intently. He even sounds exactly like Morax. His voice almost brings you to tears, but you sidestep your sorrows. "Perhaps we could walk together if you are concerned about danger?" The stranger asks.
You shake your head. "Thank you, but I would hate to impose on your time," you say. For some reason, the stranger's face tightens, almost imperceptibly so, but you see it in the slight frown of his lips, the narrowing of his eyes.
"I assure you," the man says, taking another step towards you, "I have no plans this morning." His words have an almost godlike authority to them, though you quickly brush aside that thought. You sense no such power from this man.
Taking another step back, you look into his eyes, as beautiful as polished amber, and stand firm. "I insist, I'm alright," you say, faking levity.
There is a moment of silence before the stranger lets out a soft sigh. "So be it," he says, pausing for a moment. "At the very least, may I know your name?"
By this point, you already want to leave. This man, human or not, is simply off-putting by how similar he is to Morax, in appearance, in voice, even in mannerisms. Still, you manage to stay smiling. "I'm Y/N," you say, offering your hand.
The stranger grasps your hand quickly in an almost vice-like grip. "I go by Zhongli," the man responds. He holds onto your hand for just a millisecond too long, but you don't pay it much mind. Letting go, Zhongli gives you a slight, almost unnoticeable smile. "I sincerely hope we meet again, Mx. Y/N," he says, turning around and casually walking away.
Something tells you that you will, in fact, meet him again.
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jin-jamm-desu · 5 months ago
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*°•_:JJK Headcanons:_•°*
;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;_;
!!!Fluff, ❌🍋(no smut)!!!
Featuring/Pairing: Itadori Yuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kento Nanami, Inumaki Toge
(These are the (some) main people I absolutely know how to write for,
please give me ideas if you don't see someone/thing you'd like to see. <3)
*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::* °×•×°×•×°×•×°First Date°×•×°×•×°×•×°
Itadori Yuji: ° Your first date and 1 month' aversarry (1 month' anniversary) is gonna take place at a cat/pet cafe.
° No exeptions
° Itadori is gonna have a ball with you regardless of where your first date is, but he know how much you like cats/(other animals).
° All of his attention is on you as you take pictures of the animals and eat the cute food.
° He can barely take his eyes off of you <3
° He fell first and fell harder.
° He is the type of guy to bring you a bunch of unnecessary gifts (like Gojo) at random times
° Except his gifts are cuter and personalized (unlike Gojo)
° Love language is definitely Acts of Service and Quality Time
° He just loves seeing you happy and safe and that's all that really matters to him at this point.
° Honest to God, brags about how cute you are to anybody who'd listen: his friends, his teachers, your pets, somebody's child, random pictures YOU NAME IT
° Takes you to the movies afterwards (he looked for good movies with the help of Junpei (😭💕))
° Somehow ate 3 (full size) plates of food at the cafe before you had to ask him, "HOW DID YOU EAT ALL THAT? ARE YOU OJAY??? YUJI ITS BEEN 15 MINUTES SINCE WE SAT DOWNNN!!??!??!!"
° Gives you a soft kiss on the hand and then cheek once you get home
° Your name is filled with hearts and stars on his contacts bc it's cute
Fushiguro Megumi:
° He didn't know how much was too much so he took you for a cute park-picnic date
° He makes sure to bring lots of water and fresh fruit because its midday.
° He also brought (favorite cake flavor) to share <3
° Likes to look at all the dogs he sees and tell you everything he knows about them
° He blushes so hard when you compliment/flirt with him (if you dyed his hair he'd look like a damn tomato)
° (my headcanon) He talks about how he'd like to be a veterinarian when he gets older because he doesn't want animals to live the same life he lived at one point
° His point blank resting glare scares off anyone who tries to talk to the both of you
° Keeps getting the sneaking suspicion that Itadori, Nobara and Gojo are talking about him (he got really irritated at one point, that's how he knows)
° Has the cutest giggles when a bee lands near your nose
° Brings butterfly/dinosaur charms for you because he thinks you look cute when you talk about them.
° Leaves the picnic area better than he found it because he's just responsible like that
° Takes you too a pretty garden area where he gifts you (favorite flower)
° Kisses your hand goodbye (I faint)
° Told his classmates and teacher that the date was nice and nothing else (💀)
° Your contact has a picture he secretly took of you and thought was cute
Kento Nanami
° The epitome of class
° I swear he just keeps raising the damn bar
° Picks you up in the late afternoon/ evening
° Dinner at a nice restaurant (I think it's French/Louisianan cuisine)
° He bought a present for you because he saw it on the way to his car to pick you up
° A nice walk to set up for a good conversation
° He made sure that everything was so perfect, found a great path (walkable in flats/heels) that you can see the stars when you look up
° Calls you - My Lady - (see that capitalization?)
° Wanted to bust out in his singing voice when he heard MCR playing from somewhere (he's a diehard fan at heart and we all know it)
° Very excited to tell you about how much he likes bread (he prefers fresh made over store bought and loves to laugh at the silly designs on his sourdough)
° Almost choked on his spit when he thought he saw Satoru somewhere but it turned out to be flowers or sum.
° It was Satoru, he wanted to be a nosy bat and see what Nanami was doing since the couldn't annoy him today
° Very attentive to little details when you describe things things you (dis)like so he can be ready for future dates
° In his bag he definitely has chapstick, a notepad (he's so orderly), some mints and he made sure to pack a pair of slippers for you just in case your feet hurt at any point
° He's such a gentleman and he's so nice and respectful to the servers during dinner
° Makes sure to walk you to your door once he gets you home safely
° Puts a 💕 next to your name in his contacts.
° (Gojo is called 'The Annoying One 🤞😒' in his contacts, the only other one with emojis)
Inumaki Toge
° This chronically online ass mfker.
° He challenged you to a Fortnite battle
° It's a gaming date.
° So much mogging. You hit him with a 🗿🔥🐺 and he got quiet
° SALMONNN!!! 😭😭🙏
° POLLACK ROE 😤😡😤😤
° Rice 💕🥰😚😍
° MUSTARD LEAF¿¿‽‽!!¿??
° Then Super Smash Bros™
° Soon y'all we're laughing your asses off at the villager prisons on your newly created Minecraft server.
° The unhealthiest amount of junk food known to man kind
° I'm convinced he consumes Redbull and gummy bears like water and air.
° When a creep kept pressing you on the internet he took over as your big strong man (he's shorter than 5'9, I checked 💀😭)
° Legit kept calling himself The Skibidi Alpha Pack Leader™ and how much he want (the creep) to join his gang of Loners™
° Uses (🗿🙏🗣️🗿🌶️💬🥇📢🩼🎯🍃🐺🌘) religiously and unironically
° In all seriousness he does love you though. He's so glad he has someone he can laugh with and talk to (using text to speech- ofc it's set to Gigachad Voice)
° Absolutely the best at lifting you up when your sad because you humor has been marinated in the TikTok algorithm and is peak
° When he calls he uses facetime so you can see his reactions and his eyelashes that are always on fleek
° He passes little notes to you when he can't express his words through ingredients: "Your laugh is pretty <3",,, "That (game)skin is so cute, it goes well with your weapon",,, "Thank you for coming out with me, I like you a lot<333"
° Afterwards he gifts you little trinkets from when we was at the mall one time.
וװDid you like it?°×•× וװGot requests/recommendations?°×•×
*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*::*
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lovebvni · 6 months ago
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" ITS BRUTAL OUT HERE " - pick a pile
│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...
╰─────────────────
[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 14.8.22
[  ] published ⋮  14.8.22
˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•
┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !
┊     °
hey loves, so because i 1, got new tarot decks, and 2 want to call you guys out, im doing this. also - heads up before i even start - spirit said there's gonna be a pile where there are little/no callouts bc they're actually doing great. just some advice/motivation to keep them going
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Hello! Welcome to a pick a pile. This is a general reading, everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Hundreds of people may read this, everything I say in your pile(s) may NOT resonate. Today we don't have questions. we're just going callouts. so prepare yourself, i know some of yall are soft.
along with these questions i will give things that may draw you to your pile. the alice in wonderland tarot has different cards but pretty much the same meaning. dont be shocked if instead of the hanged man i say suspention or something like that. i will be using tarot and oracle cards.
now please take everything with a grain of salt!
breathe in, now out, now pick a pile or two.
pile 1 ; pile 2 ; pile 3
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hi pile 1!
confirmation for your pile: lowkey funny, life 'falling apart', consequences for your actions, business man/woman, equality, cycles, bakugou, passion, 'im always right, i know what im saying'
oracle: you are good enough - full moon in virgo
tarot: the hierophant, temptation, 7 of flowers, 5 of spears reversed, 9 of flowers
alright bros, the first thing i have to say is 1, you're not always the cause. bad things happen to good people and i know it sucks but it helps you grow. if only good things happened then you'd probably be boring as hell. i hear some of you guys can be because you cant keep a conversation going. the thing is, you may be a victim MOST OF THE TIME but that doesnt mean ALL THE TIME!! you can be wrong in an argument, you can be right in an argument. but it changes. you're a very driven, smart, confident person in most areas but that doesnt mean because you're the right person to be a firefighter but not a baker. 7 of flowers is saying dont back down from the things you KNOW you are right in, but when someone makes a valid point. take it, it can help you. being passionate is a good thing, but dont be ignorant.
temptation is something thats drawing you in, that one day will be negative. maybe its joining the football team but you'll get a serious injury. do not let anyone or anything tempt you that has high risks for pain in the long run. im not saying dont join that football team, but dont put yourself into situations that wont benifit you in the long run. there's a good and bad to everything. do not fall into or back into negative energies/things that didnt help you before. they sure as hell wont help you now
ngl i have no idea what this pile means during the second part
pile 2
alright so confirmation: tired, faking happiness, evolution, "PUT THOSE GRIPPERS AWAY", hawks, manifestation, abuse, Christmas, MHA, movies, memories, nsfw content, love desire, caring heart, makeup, procrastination, seven deadly sins
oracle: a time for healing - balsamic moon, expect powerful chance - new moon eclipse
tarot: 10 of spears, 7 of flowers, 3 of hedgehogs
so this is the pile whos done mostly nothing wrong. when i say mostly, i mean bc everyones made at least one mistake in their life. ofc theres still a callout. STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! STOP BELITTLING YOUR PAIN, YOUR TRAUMA, THE THINGS THAT HURT YOU MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY EVERY SINGLE DAY!! let go of the past, its gone. its ending. get over it. that friend isnt coming back, they weren't right for you. let go of the past, accept it, and move forward. thats just some advice.
pile 3
hey pile 3
confirmation: false/negative manifestations, intrusive thoughts, self destructive behavior, gay, peaches (that one song omg), yung gravy, emotions, love, communication or lack of communication, birthdays, parties, celebrations
oracle: believe in the impossible - blue moon
tarot: 2 of cups, 4 of flowers, knight of teacups reversed
okay i got flowers in every pile, anyways this piles energy is of a pair.. two people or two piles? maybe you picked another pile. but its a harmonious pair. you guys may be for a long time, maybe shifting together, maybe you work on a lot of projects together? i heard you guys dont talk much but when you do its fun. you guys are a great pair. hold on to each other. i feel like once this pile overcomes toxic/negative behaviors they will shift. it depends on how fast you get rid of them/start manifesting positively.
change the way you see things, the emotions and reactions you have to things that happen. if you wake up in your cr and not your dr say something like "bro what?? why am i in my cr? thats odd, hasnt been like this before." see everything that happens in a different light. if you think that you saw something that was a sign btw, it was. take it and use it how you think its fit. use your talents, you know you can! practice the fun things you want to do one day. practive makes perfect!! get off your ass and do something. vent through an art form. you dont have to use words. you're doing nothing right now. you NEED to do something, but take a break from stressing yourself. its not helping anything
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ur-fav-inactive-writer · 2 years ago
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𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 ____'𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞...
(A/N: Does not include Five)
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𝑵𝒐. 1 , 𝑳𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 , 𝑺𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆𝒃𝒐𝒚
girl next door trope
knew you ever since childhood
loves you to death
so soft with you
he's such a gentlemen
pulls out chairs for you and holds doors for you
butttttt you have to deal with his daddy issues
he always comes to you crying whenever something happens
a sweetheart with you though
he's very awkward at comforting you
he likes to cook for you
he's such a good chef ngl
he loves cuddling
he literally is always cuddling you
likes to be big spoon, don't get me wrong he needs comfort
but
the idea of being able to protect you by being big spoon is so validating to him
he's too big to be little spoon anyway
that is literally his one purpose
if he found you during the 60s or something and he had to leave you he'd never stop talking about you
"I miss (Y/N)..."
"(Y/N) would've liked this.."
"Luther, they're gone."
fml sobbing why did I write that
anyway his one purpose is to love and protect you
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𝑵𝒐. 2 , 𝑫𝒊𝒆𝒈𝒐 , 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑲𝒓𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒏
very jealous
if he sees you with some guy who is flirting with you he will literally glare daggers into him
he will then proceed to walk over to you, sling an arm around your waist and pull you in for a kiss
he doesn't give a shit if anyone's watching
he talks shit about him siblings to you
"Luther thinks he's so much better than all of us-"
"Diego chill out."
oh my god when Viktor wrote that book
he
was
SEETHING
(no hate to viktor , viktor is baby)
the shit talk increased so much
he would not shut up about it
help diego would be such a simp for you
like I'm not joking
pure simp
in his eyes you are sweet innocent summer child who can do absolutely no wrong
stabbed someone?
pfft it was probably just an accident
he brings you to visit grace
omg it would be so cute
grace absolutely adores you
she always makes sly comments about how you and diego should get married
he goes redder than the colour red
he wouldn't tell anyone but he secretly loves the idea
he loves kissing your forehead
it's literally his favourite place
you and klaus are besties
he has to deal with you when klaus gets you drunk
"oh. my. god. im upside down."
"(Y/N), you're standing upright. we need to go home.
"... no"
he never gets drunk
fun squasher
he says his body's a temple
boring
youre his nurse
he always comes home injured and gets you to patch him up
he finds it hot
yes, he's bleeding out. yes, he finds you playing nurse to him hot.
priorities ig
he's so soft with you
would kill for you
he probably has
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𝑵𝒐. 3 , 𝑨𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏 , 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒖𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒓
(refuse to make her evil so s3 allison will not be mentioned)
definitely gets you an acting job in one of her films
she buys you the fanciest stuff
literally you two have the best closet
and you have your own personal stylist
bc why not
you do interviews with her all the time
fans absolutely adore you
there's so many paparazzi pictures of you two together and they eat it up
especially if they include you being doting to claire even though she's not biologically your kid
omg her fans would absolutely love that
so would allison though
if she saw you reading claire a story or smth
her heart would just melt
she might cry ngl
her two favourite ppl in the world just being adorable
you're the cool parent to claire
both of you go to fancy parties and are the hottest couple
"Allison! (Y/N)! How does it feel knowing you're America's favourite couple!"
you're so flattered
allisons just like: yeah ik lmao
she kisses you a lot in public
she knows damn well people are gonna get pictures of it but she loves it
you watch her films with her a lot
if its a particularly old one, you make fun of it with her
"oh my god allison. why do you look like that."
"IT WAS THE STYLE."
she then proceeds to also make fun of it
you, her and claire go on lots of fancy days out
you may as well considering you're RICH
luther gets a bit jealous sometimes
you help her with her therapy
you comforted her when she custody of claire
you also fought alongside her to get her back
as soon as you do you're happier than ever
you are literally just the cutest family ahdhahfhaj
but then she loses you again when she goes to the 60's
she made it her life's purpose to get back to 2019 with the love of her life and claire
as soon as she accepts that it could take years upon years to reunite with you and claire she finds ray
she knew you'd be happy
but she also knew
she'd never truly move on
omg help I'm gonna start sobbing why do I do this to myself
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𝑵𝒐. 4 , 𝑲𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒔 , 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒆́𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆
you help get him off of drugs
ben adores you
he likes that you're there to help klaus
and that you don't ever drop to his level and just do drugs with him
he also likes how you never shit talk him when klaus starts ranting about how annoying he is
klaus is a huge fan of PDA
he is obsessed with the idea of holding your hands
he is constantly touching you in one way or the other
whether it be holding your hand
or simply having a hand on your leg
it matters to him
and that's why you love it
sweet baby boi has so much love to give
he likes being little spoon
he just loves being in your arms
it helps with his nightmares
diego also approves of you
you've saved him from having to go out and look for klaus in the middle of the night in fear he's high or smth
klaus rants to you every so often
quite often you have to help him through panic attacks
he loves you sm
like he is so lovesick
if anyone were to ever ask about you
oh boy
he gets this lovesick look in his eyes
and then starts rambling about how enamored he is with you and how great you are
it's adorable
he's very clingy but in the best way possible
he matches outfits with you
never a dull moment with you two
often it's you trying to solve whatever problem klaus has somehow managed to conjure up
and klaus just being a devious little shit
but it doesn't matter cause you love him
sometimes he questions why you love him
it makes you cry whenever he asks
"(Y/N/N)..."
you hum in response
"why do you love me...?"
sobbing and you start listing all the reasons
and then he's sobbing
and then you're both sobbing
but anyway
he loves dancing with you
he doesn't care what song
it could be some crappy pop song that's somehow in the top hits
or some classical music that's centuries old
he really doesn't care
he likes spinning you around
he loves seeing how happy it makes you
klaus asks you the most random stuff at 3am
"... (Y/N"
"yeah"
"lawyers hope you get sued, doctors hope you get sick, cops hope you're criminal, mechanics hope you have car trouble, but only a thief wishes prosperity for you."
"... go to bed"
"never"
you poor thing
you never get any sleep because of how chatty he is at night
he hates being away from you
if he isn't near you he will start whining to ben
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𝑵𝒐. 6 , 𝑩𝒆𝒏 , 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒓
omg it took him ages to admit his crush on you
he's been crushing on you since you were like 12
when did he admit it?
when he was 18.
he likes reading to you
he loves seeing you get all relaxed at the sound of his voice
it makes him fall even more in love with you
he likes PDA but not that much
just a simple touch is enough for him
this boy blushes so easily
you'll brush his hand and he'll turn so pink
sometimes you'll just be sitting there doing nothing of note
and he'll be staring at you in adoration
he's in absolute awe of you
thinks you're the most adorable thing ever
much like diego
thinks you can do no wrong
you're his sweet, precious girl
he knows everything about you off by heart
from your favourite colour
to your mums favourite song
you thinks it's endearing
he loves holding your hand
playing with your hair is one of his favourite things to do
don't get me wrong he likes when you do it to him
but he much prefers when he does it to you
he finds it really relaxing
he's usually pretty closed off about his childhood but he trusts you
sometimes when something that triggers a bad memory happens he goes to you to rant
he doesn't know what he'd do without you
you're literally his life
omg
when you kiss his nose
he just melts
it's the most adorable thing
he's so good at cheering you up
no matter if its something minor or major
he's always amazing at getting you back to your usual self
he loves taking you on cute little dates
he reads you poetry he wrote
omg he deffo writes a piece of poetry about how much he loves you
omg help this is so cute
overall he's a simp
and it suits him
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𝑵𝒐. 7 , 𝑽𝒊𝒌𝒕𝒐𝒓 , 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝑽𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒏
viktors a sweetheart
he gives you private violin shows
he also rehearses in front of you to see what you think
he tries to get you to critique him
if you don't play violin, you probably just say its all perfect
if you do, you probably give him little tips on areas to work on
you go on little dates to watch the sunset
he has to be little spoon
he just needs some comfort
just needs to be wrapped in your arms and feel safe
poor guy has been through so much
sometimes he gets mad memories of the incident with allison and you have to calm him down
he wouldn't get jealous
he'd just get rlly insecure :(
if he saw someone flirting with you he'd just get a bit sad
he would think the worst and think that you would want to leave him for them :(((
poor bby
opens up to you about how bad his childhood was
sometimes he regrets writing the book
you have to reassure him that it's okay and they don't hate him for it
sure, they did, but not anymore
klaus thinks you two are adorable together
you've got quite a few polaroids of the two of you together
he has them on those little string lights above your bed
he keeps at least one in his pocket at all times
he does that thing where you check if you still have something valuable and it's so cute for some reason
and when he checks and its still there it puts this small little smile on his face
omg it's just shfjsjfjsjf
you take care of him when he's sick
he hates it bc he feels bad that you have to take care of him
but deep down he loves it and will treasure those memories forever
but he'd do the exact same thing if you were sick
whenever you buy him something he always feels bad if he didn't get you something
"Vik it's okay! you didn't have to get me anything,"
"NO ITS NOT I NEED TO GO GET YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW."
it's absolutely adorable
Taglist: @book-place
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fairyhaos · 10 months ago
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seventeen as types of tea
requested by anon ! my tea knowledge is like. a little bit extensive. but only a little, so some of these r based off of what google says these teas taste like ++ the vibes they give me ^^
masterlist
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seungcheol
ginger tea. the warmth and the spiciness and the slight sweetness of the tea definitely give me strong seungcheol vibes. the fact that it's good for you and also super delicious? hmm yeah idk but it's giving scoups
jeonghan
honey tea. a gentle, sweet tea that melts on your tongue. it reminds me of being taken care of by my mother, bc she always gave me honey tea when i was sick. for me, its a comforting tea, and the lovely sweetness gives me jeonghan vibes. 
joshua
bergamot tea. most people know it as earl grey tea, and it sounds like it'll be a musky, tasteless old-people kind of tea, but its floral, citrusy taste is very vibrant and lovely. bergamot is also a nice stress reliever, and is also a vv nice cake flavour and idk. the vibes feel very joshua
junhui
jasmine tea. dude, everyone loves jasmine tea, and if you don't, then you're lying to yourself. and that's exactly like how i firmly believe that junhui is nothing except absolutely and utterly loveable. it makes me think of dim sum bc the cleansing taste of it always balances the oily food sooo well
hoshi
tea with lots of cream and sugar. it's almost horrifically sweet, but hoshi drinks it with a straight face and you can't help but wonder if, maybe, it's because the tea is so sugary that it's numbed his taste buds off forever. also he's totally the type to give himself a cream moustache. 
wonwoo
hibiscus tea. the slight cranberry-ish tartness of the taste feels very much like wonwoo for some reason? it makes me think of the shininess of glasses frames, the rough texture of books, and the gentle deepness of his voice. 
woozi
coffee disguised as tea. idk how to explain this bro but jihoon is Not Really a tea-drinking person in my eyes (not enough caffeine in it) but people keep telling him that having 7 coffees a day isn't good for his health so he's started drinking “tea” instead. except it's not actually tea and it's just.  coffee. hidden in his flask. 
minghao
matcha. matcha is lowkey just an aesthetic tea ngl but also?? it's a tea that's basically known for its health benefits bc it's just sooo so healthy and i feel like minghao, as a tea nerd, would love that. also matcha flavoured stuff is vv yum and makes me think of him for some reason
mingyu
masala chai. ive never actually had masala tea before, but i think the combination of richness and warmth and spices of it just suits him very very well. just the vibes of it make me think of mmingyu's undeniable presence and his warm, beautiful, colourful nature
dokyeom
peach tea. fruit teas are definitely more dokyeom’s style bc they're kinda attached to the idea of youth and smiles, cuz children r more likely to have fruit teas. also peach tea is just sooo so sweet and fragrant. especially iced peach tea!! to me, i think that it literally tastes like syrupy sunshine. 
seungkwan
rose tea. it's just such a delicate, floral, aromatic tea with veryyyy good health benefits, and not only does it give me seungkwan vibes, i also think that he'd really like to drink it. also the floating rose buds in tea are so very aesthetic. 
vernon
tea biscuits. i couldn't think of a tea for him help anyone who has anything negative to say about tea biscuits is gonna have to Fight me bc they're actually sooo nice and i can and will finish half a pack of tea biscuits in one sitting if you let me. vernon probably could do that too. 
chan
milk tea. idk man but for me, i think that the unambiguous milky taste of milk teas just make me think of the all-encompassing and reassuring warmth of chan. he's like the pleasant milkiness of the milk tea that stays on your tongue
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edelgarfield · 5 months ago
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god damn it all this Aeor and Calamity lore has me liking Ludinus a lot more than I ever wanted to. I find him so fascinating and compelling as a villain, in the way that he reflects a lot of my favorite characters' flaws particularly from CR2, but CR3 in Bell's Hells at times self-defeating pursuit of power in order to win.
I'm thinking abt a couple quotes from Essek, bc he & Ludinus obviously have so much in common. By Essek's own admission, it was his inability to trust people that made his pursuit of knowledge at the cost of others so appealing, that made him lose sight of the hurt he was causing
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In particular the second quote: feeling personally responsible for doing something because of your inability to trust anyone else. I think that encompasses Ludinus's ideology & motivation so well.
The idea of longevity/immortality being a barrier to intimacy is something that gets talked about with respect to elves a lot, and I think Ludinus encompasses that to its logical extreme. Ludinus is one of the last survivors who actually lived on Exandria during the Calamity. Most elves actually fucked off to the Feywild and didn't return until long after the fighting was over. Given Ludinus was a child when Aeor fell, I would assume that means his parents chose to stay on Exandria & he was born afterwards. (Which if that's the case, adds another layer to his resistance against the gods bc he was doomed to live through the war on the surface of Exandria bc of a choice his parents made before he was born.)
All the elves born at the tail end of the Calamity are dead by now, Ludinus lived at least 160ish years of it, and most of the elves born around that time would have been in the Feywild and wouldn't have the experience of seeing what happened to the world. Everyone else who survived the Calamity would have died hundreds of years ago, not to mention that only a third of the population even survived it in the first place. The thing that's saved the PCs (& Essek) time and time again is their bonds with others, having other people to support them & remind them that all the power in the world means nothing if you lose yourself in its pursuit, that there are good things in this world worth living for.
Anyone that might have had the chance to sway Ludinus from his path is long dead, either from the Calamity or old age. Liliana seems to be the only person he feels close to, but they're both bonded through their shared cause. Even other elves, the people with the longest memories, don't understand what living through the Calamity was like. They weren't there.
I know it was mostly a joke when Laudna suggested Ludinus go to therapy, but at the same time where would he go? One of the things that helps PTSD is a sense of community, feeling like there are other people who share your experience, but there isn't anyone that shares Ludinus's experience (Not to mention anything resembling a therapist on Exandria would most likely draw power from a deity, which Ludinus is understandably opposed to).
That sense of isolation is something that comes up again & again among CR PCs. CR2 is the most obvious, but it's something plenty of the CR3 characters have been through as well. Ludinus would have been alone in his trauma for hundreds of years. That's completely incomprehensible to us. He would have watched the world move on and forget something that's so deeply affected him. Any attempt to confide in someone about his anger & pain would often be met with "this is punishment for our hubris" "the gods love us" "don't question their will." The very, very few allies he had would die out over the years until one day he's the last and he would be the last for centuries more. I feel like that sense of isolation, feeling removed from the world, bottling up centuries' worth of emotion would make anyone numb. he withdraws further and further into himself bc he doesn't belong. he works for centuries at removing the gods, becoming more and more desperate as he grows older, without anyone else to provide perspective as his plans grow more and more ruthless. (i also have a theory that this loneliness is part of what makes him sympathetic to predathos but that's a separate post)
Given his age & being the last survivor of the Calamity, I think it's nearly impossible for him to connect with other people. The only thing that gives him any sense of connection or community is his crusade against the gods; he only feels connected to others through their shared pain & anger, which never allow him to move past it. He can't trust anyone bc no one else understands what the gods are capable of like he does, nobody else understands what's at stake. He's the only person remaining who does, which means he's the only one who can do what he believes needs to be done.
There's a sense of duty. He needs to eliminate the gods because he doesn't trust the future inhabitants of Exandria to be able to protect their world. He owes it to all those who've been trampled on by the gods to do what they no longer can. I think he genuinely cares about mortals & he wants to defend them from a threat that he believes only he can see, but I think he cares far more about the thousands of dead he carries on his back than anyone alive. He can't simply live a happy life bc everything that once made his life worth living is gone. He can't let go of that pain & anger and move forward. His trauma is what gives him purpose and meaning; healing from it would be a betrayal to all the people that have suffered beneath the gods.
I don't think he's wrong about the gods, but I think he's seeking freedom from the gods' control, not realizing that he's letting himself be controlled by the dead. I think it's been a very long time since he spared a thought towards actually living. Bell's Hells keeps accusing him of wanting to take the place of the gods, or wanting to be seen as a messiah, but I truly don't think that's it. I don't think he cares about what comes after, if he's even thought about it at all. I don't even think he wants to be a martyr. His goal has never been for him to live in a free world, it's to ensure that there will be a world after he's gone, forever. he thinks if he dies without securing that future, he'll have failed Exandria & all the souls that have ever lived on it.
He's been completely ruthless in his pursuit of power because to him, he is fighting for Exandria's survival. That's exactly the trap BH has fallen into in the past, pursuing power even when it hurts themselves & their friends, losing sight of the actual people they claim to be protecting. Ludinus surrounds himself with terrible people; Otohan and Trent to name two, bc he wants the power they hold without getting his hands dirty himself. but in doing so he immediately removes any possibility of emotional intimacy. the people he works with don't trust him & he doesn't trust them. the one exception is Liliana & unfortunately I think she just met him far too late.
so much of CR is about the importance of feeling connected to other people, how those connections remind us of what's truly important, and keep us grounded, how when we begin to lose sight of ourselves, it's those we're close to that remind us. I think of Caleb & Essek, they both had goals they wanted to pursue, but in finding a place to belong realized those goals wouldn't actually make them happy. Ludinus doesn't want to be happy, he wants to have a purpose, and I know I'm a bleeding heart, but I think there is something incredibly tragic in someone who can't even imagine what it would be like to live a happy life.
I think of Fjord & Percy & Imogen & Laudna & Dorian, people who nearly lost themselves in pursuit of power, but chose to turn away because living for their friends was more important that dying for the world. Ludinus is the pendulum swinging in the other direction. It's incredibly tragic bc imo his intentions are genuinely good; he's arrogant and selfish and ruthless but i think he truly does want to protect Exandria.
I think there was a point in the past where someone could have reached him & he could have chosen a different path. i don't even think he would have necessarily had to give up his goal of removing the gods. if he had other people working alongside him instead of under him, who knows what he could've come up with? if he had people to pass the torch onto once he was gone, maybe he would feel like there was time to come up with a solution besides Predathos.
But he doesn't and he can't trust anyone bc no one else believes in his cause as fervently as he does. he can't trust anyone else to make the sacrifices he's willing to make so he never tries. He denies himself the aid & perspective & closeness that comes with trusting someone and becomes further and further entrenched in his mission to remove the gods at any cost. He's the only one alive left to remember the trauma of the Calamity: he has to carry all of it because no one else can.
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wanderersmalewife · 14 days ago
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DR2 and DRv3 boys comforting their sick S/O
Characters: Hajime, Nagito, Kokichi, K1-B0
Warnings/content: G/N reader, mentions of vomit... nothing else tbh
A/N: So self-indulgent bc i have a fucking fever 😭😭
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🌻Hajime Hinata🌻
- Hajime is extremely concerned when he hears you're sick. His anxiety just makes him an easily worried person
- That being said, he is. So awkward about taking care of other people
- Hes never been around other people much and he's never had anyone to take care of him
- Very much hovering around you but never really touching you unless you're explicitly asking
- The moment you tell him you need him, that you want him by your side to snuggle... he's a bit hesitant, not wanting to be sick himself. But he'd easily give in.
- He can't resist when you ask so sniffle and... sad
- Constantly asking you if he can get you anything or help
- If you get nauseous or vomit he is also. SO AWKWARD 😭
- He just looks horrified (this diva...) but he'll kneel next to you and awkwardly rub your back
- very sweet, just a bit unconfident
Another coughing fit is expelled past your lips, facial features twisted into a strained expression as your throat burns.
Hajime frowns, brows furrowing with concern as he watches a bead of sweat trickle down your forehead.
He reaches a hand out to rub your shoulder before he stops himself, actions hesitant. "You should drink something. It might help..."
Somehow, you manage a small glare. You know he means well, but does it look like you have the strength to get something right now?
"Ah, sorry." He apologizes near-instantly, standing from the bed. "I-I'll go get you some water!"
You sigh softly, body slightly relaxing even as you watch him disappear into the next room.
Your eyelids feel heavy as your breathing slowly evens out, fatigue settling in.
You barely register the sound of Hajime's soft footsteps as he re-enters the room.
What you do feel, though, is his hand softly brushing your bangs back and his lips pressing over your forehead.
A soft hum leaves you as finally drift to sleep.
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🍀Nagito Komaeda🍀
- So so SO doting
- You don't even have to ask him for anything. He's immediately on it and making sure you have everything.
- Might forget a few things because of his dementia, but if you gently remind him, he's more than happy to go get it for you
- One of the best people you could ask for comfort
- Only thing you'd have to worry about is him getting anxious or self-conscious if he messes things up. Will blame himself horribly especially when you're already so unwell
- Nausea? No problem.
- The kind of guy to hold your hair back if you have longer hair
- constantly rubbing your back and whispering encouraging words and praise
You groan as you press your head against the pillow, pain throbbing against your skull.
Nagito is beside you in an instant, a patient smile over his face. "I'm sorry, my hope..." His tone is gentle. He doesn't need words to understand you're expressing your pain.
His prosthetic hand finds its way into your hair, cold metal scratching over your scalp. It's a much needed relief from the heat of your fever.
He chuckles softly as you lean against his touch, working his fingers over your head before he presses the back of it to your forehead.
You finally open your bleary eyes, and instead of pain flooding your mind from the bright light, slight relief washing over you as you see Nagito's angelic face.
His gaze softens, eyes meeting yours with adoration. "Good morning, my hope. I'm right here... promise."
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🎲Kokichi Ouma🎲
- what a little asshole
- somehow whinier than you 😭??
- acts like this affects him SO MUCH
- "You're sick? EWW STAY AWAY FROM ME I DON'T WANNA GET SICK TOO. WAHHHH!"
- i mean. That doesn't mean he's not worried. He hates seeing people he loves in pain
- He's also allergic to being sincere
- He's also genuinely worried about getting sick but that's a him problem
- You can tell he's cares though.
- Hes shoving like 15 different cough syrups, fever medicines and whatever else he can at you
- Also a squeamish asshat about nausea
- Literally fake gagging over you vomiting like he's gonna puke too??😭 wtf
- Threaten to puke on him and see what happens it'll be so funny
- Not the kind of person to comfort you physically or verbally if you're puking... but he will absolutely get you a glass of water afterwards so you'll stay hydrated.
"Ughh... Kichi..." You whine, voice nasally from congestion.
The smaller boy next to you, much to your chagrin, simply grunts, scooting away from your reaching hands. "Don't touch me! You'll get your cooties on me!"
Fucking brat. You lift your head from your pillow, glaring unhappily at him with a small sniffle.
He seems to shrink at that, a small flash of guilt passing over his face. One that only someone as close you were would notice.
Great. Latch onto that and make him give in.
"Mmmh... it hurts..." You whimper again, head flopping onto your pillow as you clutch at your stomach. Not fully a lie... your stomach is churning, but it isn't intensely painful.
Kokichi catches onto your theatrics almost immediately, scoffing as he looks away. "Yeah, yeah. I can tell you're lying!" He winks, smiling cheekily as if he wasn't neglecting his very poor sickly partner.
Alright. That's it.
With as much strength as you can manage through your sick stupor, you leap forward, arms latching around his waist.
Kokichi yelps. Loud.
"Ghh-! Dammit, [name]! Let go!" He squirms with small grunts, wriggling like a rat caught in a trap.
Despite this, you easily notice he's not putting his full effort into it. Kokichi may be small, but he could pack a punch when he wanted, especially against a sick person.
He wasn't making a real effort to get away from you.
Content with your efforts, you simply keep yourself latched around him until he stops, pouting. "You're so mean..."
Even as he complains, he huffs while sliding down into the bed with you.
His arms wrap around you too, head resting against your tangled strands of hair.
"Fine, I'll stay. But you better take care of me if I get sick too."
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🤖Kiibo🤖
- Oh lord hes so awkward. Save him
- He cares you soso much but he does. Not understand how being sick works or how to help 😭
- Does research as best he can. Probably ends up actually being overbearing
- You're bedside is suddenly filled with cough syrup, and tea, and cough drops, and Tylenol, and Ibuprofen, and soup, and water, and Gatorade, and-
- You have to politely tell him that's enough. More than enough. You'll be okay, You promise
- So anxious abt doing everything right. Asks if you're sure like 10 times and only stops asking when you pat his head softly and smile. "You're doing great, Kiibo. Thank you..."
- Immediate blushing mess as he eagerly nods , just thankful that he's helping
- Nausea. Makes his panic so much worse
- "O-Oh my gosh! Are you alright? Can I help at all!? Oh, that's a lot... oh my gosh..."
- Bro acts like you're dying.
- You ask him for water and he's back in a split second with it
- Once it's all out and you're just panting over the toilet bowl, he'll slowly pat your shoulder until you lean back against him.
- He just holds you until he realizes you fell asleep. He feels so bad abt waking you up to go to bed, but he 8snt strong enough to carry you
"I-Is that enough? Are you sure you don't need anything else?"
Your eyes scanned over the various items lined along your bedside table. Medicines, drinks, and tissues alike cover the flat surface, not a single spot untouched.
In all honesty, the cluttered area was a bit overwhelming with everything going on, but you don't have the heart to tell him that.
You just nod from your pile of blankets, (which Kiibo had also collected for you,) voice ragged from a sore throat. "Mhm. Thank you, Kiibo..."
Kiibo nods, and for a moment it seems like he gets the message.
But then, his brows furrow, and that anxious little frown finds its way onto his face again. "Are you sure? I've found plenty of other remedies that might work if these don't help enough! I--"
You cut him off, gently taking his hand. You press a chaste kiss to his cold knuckles, grinning with a soft gaze before you speak. "You're perfect. This is more than enough... Thank you."
You see that familiar blush creep up his face, and despite his lack of any real blood, his face feels warm. "Oh! I-I'm glad then! I'm happy I can be here...!"
You giggle and nod before you speak one last time. "Just one more thing. Could you stay...? Please?"
"Of course!" He sits on the edge of the bed, hand resting over your side.
"I promise, I will never leave your side."
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koko-canie · 20 days ago
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❥⠀Orin Ayo Headcannons 。。。
Warnings 𓎟𓎟  Mentions of Death regarding Drug use , Gun Violence , Body horror , Mentions of abuse , Cult mention ( obv ) , Kidnapping , Trauma etc
NOTES : Nothing is explained in super graphic detail of course but there's alot of dark themes here , its a horror mod so yeah. also some of these headcannons are personal !! don't take these seriously its just my interpretation
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DREAM / LIE :
Lie isn't an exact "personification" of someone's trauma , but really an unnamed corpse who like the others is a victim of Tab's cult.
He's called "Lie" by the others as they do no know his actual name nor origins.
he has no memories of his past life
Lie also doesn't talk either , not that he isnt able to but he simply remains quiet for the most part.
Nonbinary , but only bc they cant tell what his gender is ( however he still uses he / him )
HART :
Her and James ( along with Kurt ) have a sibling like bond , James lets her sit around him
is able to remember her past but often doesn't like to.
Before Death she used to be a dancer ( ballet dancer )
while she cant speak very well she does whisper , you can hear her when its very quiet
BAYLEE :
He's very sarcastic but given he's a statue head bust its not surprising
While he isn't chatty , Baylee may make one-off comments or remarks to anyone he happens to see
he cannot move at all , others have to help him move
he has no memory of how he died , nor why he's even in a the cult in the first place
his face being covered in clay prevents him from making expressions but he can change his tone of voice
HUE :
in my mind , his design is different ( /glowingparasite's design of hue is what he looks like in my mind bc his actual design sucks poo poo )
Like a Tiger , he makes a "chuff" sound when pleased or content
he also knocks a lot of stuff over just because ( dudes a huge house cat tbh )
When he talks it sounds more like growling
James sometimes tries to pet hue when he isn't looking ( James is a softy for animals )
PROTOTYPE 3 :
legit cannot speak , only uses sound effects to communicate
i don't have much for her sadly
ETHAN :
He could play just about any instrument
He has a tenancy to move his fingers around when standing ( he's got the tism )
Despite being blind , he still remembers how to play most instruments by memory
Type of dude to say "Wowzers" and "Aw shucks" unironically
has a lisp
HETY :
was originally a pretty devoted followers of the cult , when she died Tab decided to bring her back to life.
very mentally unstable
She does have a body under the mass of ferrofluid and wires , but its very hard to notice and see
she is able to use these wires to grab things and attack ( she attacked lilac so yeah )
Reasoning for attacking iliac was due to her being a big fan but lilac ultimately rejected seeing her because of her sneaking back stage without permission. this lead to Hety attacking lilac.
DOUGG :
His inclusion to the cult was simply because Tab didn't like him. Dougg didnt actually do anything.
before death he was a gambler
he's a pretty sneaky dude though , sometimes playing pranks on the others for the hell of it
Likes to mess with James because of his reactions
AZ-TF :
When they talk it sounds like two people speaking at once
AZ has the deeper voice and TF has the higher one
they have no memories of their past
They often bicker about small things
STANLEE :
Before his death , he was actually friends with Andrew ( and even lived with him for a while )
When Stanlee is sober he is surprisingly well spoken and actually pretty smart
His addiction developed at 21
Due to his now ferrofluid blood , he cannot become sober and is forever high
he struggles with his memory
ACHETURE ( FLICKERR ) :
Can communicate though words on its screen
despite being a TV , its still sentient
Acheture still retains its memories before death
KURT :
He's often around James or Hart as he doesn't trust the others. ( its like a sibling dynamic )
Originally he was very scared of James , this changed over time
He also likes to keep the duck around for comfort
Kurt likes to draw to show how he's feeling
His vision is very blurry
CRATZ PURR :
Oldest within the cult in terms of age
he's just everyone's grandpa
he's a nervous wreck however and tends to get overly worried about the others
his voice sounds sorta autotuned with an organ
LILAC :
She's a lesbian ( sorry but i cannot see her dating a man , i don't ship her with neester at all :/ )
she still has her guitar but she cant play it
She considers Ethan to be a little brother
she frequently argues with James due to him being rude to everyone
Before her death she was very influential in the goth rock scene
JAMES :
I already wrote some headcannons for him in this post but ill add more
he struggles with empathy and often disregards others alot
despite this however he is very nice to Kurt and Hart
he also likes the duck
DERICK :
He isn't able to speak , like at all
i don't have anything for him srry
DUCK :
She's basically the cults pet
James is responsible for feeding her
KASKI :
Bi disaster
Often makes internet references that nobody understand ( aside from Baylee and Ethan )
Meows at people ( vocal stim )
has attempted to plat games on prototype 3 before
The hands on her body are tattoos but they can move
ANDREW :
He's a very slow talker , his voice is also very low
He often sings sea shanties to himself
when alive , he lived along the coast. from there he sailed off for fun.
at some point he met Stanlee when he was alive and even let him live with him. the two were very very close. however one say Andrew would get high and fall off his boat , resulting in his death. this had lead Stanlee's addiction to worsen and lead to his death too.
Andrew often stays around Stanlee within the cult , even if Stanlee cant quite remember him. ( doomed yaoi oops )
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