#i don't deserve any of this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
No cool game tonight, no watching something on my watchlist, no answering my friends, only wallowing in self-pity 💅.... Again.
#johnny's vents#maybe i can read a bit through the tears💀#tbh I'm just waiting for the anon hate atp#but you are all so kind😭💜#I don't deserve any of this#why are you hereeee
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
First panic attack of the year!
So fucking fantastic, I just love my brain. <3
#sa survivor#tw sa#recovery#ed recovery#and in front of one of my new friends#in college#in class!#he was so kind and understanding#i don't deserve this#i don't deserve any of this#i fuckin hate Instagram
1 note
·
View note
Text
I am trying to escape my violent abusive family while fighting against chronic pain and fatigue. Not only that, I am still recovering from surgery and struggling with body image. AND I have to face my demons born from trauma every minute of every day. AND I am doing it all alone without a loving safe place where I can come to peace. Imagine how fucking exhausted I am. How am I even still standing???
#yes that's the rage talking#i don't deserve any of this#i'm getting help but it's going painfully slow#no wonder i dream of dying sometimes#trauma#toxic home#chronic pain#chronic depression
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
the men and boys are innocent too.
we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.
I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.
I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.
I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.
I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.
the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.
#I don't have words to describe how I feel for the men of Palestine#the things I have seen them do after everything they have been through goes so far beyond selfless#what do you call this? this prevailing goodness and willingness to give everything they have and more? what word even touches it?#I don't think there is one#islamophobia has conditioned us to see these men and boys as evil and dangerous#we see this in how we speak about Palestine#and we need to uncondition ourselves#they're just as innocent and of value and good as the women and children#so fight for them#they don't deserve this any more than the women and children#free palestine#palestine
70K notes
·
View notes
Text
every time a new SA allegation of a favored celeb arises, i'm reminded of the absolutely soul-crushing experience of the depp/heard trial in which i learned that dozens of ppl i loved + respected + trusted were also willing to engage in the basest form of misogyny if the woman Seemed Crazy Enough. there was a horrifying 2ish weeks on this website + much longer irl where i genuinely felt unsafe voicing my discomfort as i relived something eerily reminiscent of the aftermath of my own assaults playing out on screen, commented on by true crime youtubers like it was a red sox game.
it happens time + time again with every new allegation + it's truly the most agonizing + exhausting part of being a survivor. i am begging you all to consider that survivors are watching you engage with this stuff like theater + it erodes our trust in all of you + compounds our grief.
#one of the only things i still have blacklisted is depp/heard#the whole ~she's a borderline bitch who deserved whatever happened cuz she was the crazy one~#schtick is smth i never expected to have to watch play out on a public stage so much so that my 50 year old acquaintances would know of it#now every time it's a new Beloved Celeb i'm like i don't trust any of you fucking ppl
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
if you're a white person taking pleasure in the idea that Trump voters of colour are experiencing racist violence from white trumpers because "they got what's coming to them" I don't think you're anti-racist at all, I think you were just waiting for an acceptable target, and you're also fucking weird.
Bad Person Deserves Punishment For Their Sins give me a fucking break and get yourself out of the fucking catholic church. you're all prison abolitionists until you see someone you don't like.
#assholes still do not deserve to be victims of bigotry#people will crow this up and down until they find someone they think is a big enough asshole to really deserve it#watch your cognitive dissonance kids#i really am only speaking to white people here. as a white person.#POC can feel however they feel.#though i still don't think it's an appropriate sentiment to turn into Political Praxis there is of course a need to vent#like idk i don't find any marginalised suffering under fascism funny. i think it's fucking sad.#i think it is sad when right wing gay people experience homophobia and i think it is sad when right wing trans people experience transphobia#and when right wing disabled people experience ableism and when right wing women experience misogyny#leopards eating faces is funny when it's about like. rich people or misogynists or whatever it's.#do you understand that this is punching down?#why are we wasting our energy hoping for the victimisation of specific marginalised people#this would be a great time to do some outreach but instead everyone is just fucking MOCKING THEM#you're so fucking stupid you don't care about The Cause you care about Winning#this shit makes me furious.#have some compassion#the system speaks#USpol#Trump#racism#politics
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
EAT SHIT AND DIE
#original post#NO POST OF MINE IS AN “HONORARY TERF POST”#DON'T TOUCH MY POSTS#edited because the original screenshot makes it look like my tags#I censored their blog because I'd rather have them completely ignored#they don't deserve any attention
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Imo the best ending to Supernatural would have been to just stop with them alive on a random hunt or them finding jobs and living the life they just wanted or whatever.
And then the story just fucking STOP, because Chuck is not here anymore, so they are no longer part of a story they are finally free. And we could still write and read fanfic about how they live after they won.
#they should have just STOP before fucking killing them all#that might have stopped the story with no possibility for a revival#so I'm not sure#but I would be fine not having any revival if the end was satisfying enough#it would still be better than what we had anyway#an open ending would have been better#because they would be ALIVE and FREE#they deserved to be happy#spn#supernatural#spn 15x20#Carry On#there's no carrying on when everyone is fucking dead#don't mind me#I'm still bitter about that ending#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#jack kline#eileen leahy#destiel#deancas#saileen#if you don't ship those no hate please#my random thoughts about spn
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Appleseed PDA montage to save you from reading endless pages of unimportant politics that don't amount to anything
also because I have nothing better to do, I'm bored, I'm moody, my gaming laptop is still broken so no BG3, and it's too late at night to start drawing after doing animation clean-up all day.
#Manga#Appleseed#Shirow Masamune#80s#This is literally every single one of these moments in the entirety of the manga's run#including bonus material#There's some great character writing hidden among all the infodumping and technobabble as well#But like I said before all it accomplishes is to make you frustrated#Because despite being written so well#Masamune was more interested in waxing philosophical than actually giving his characters the attention they deserve#Despite them displaying an insane amount of depth and complexity whenever they are able to#it's a very rare case where the characters are EXTREMELY well written and almost every moment they are on screen is amazingly well done#But the manga keeps demanding you listen to completely different side characters talk about politics for endless pages#while at the same time none of these politics have any consequence or relevance to the actual stories that happen on screen.#So it ends up with the majority of the manga is like listening to some guy you don't know on the bus reading the headlines of a newspaper#at you about political tension between two countries you have never heard of and will never feature in your life again#How do you write such great and well written characters and then be completely disinterested in actually putting them on screen?????
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.
#disability#disability advocacy#and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem...#...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder...#...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you...#...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking...#...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability...#...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers#i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience#like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities...#...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out...#...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking...#...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors?#i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Still some doodles of them :DD
#What's great with tua is that you can make any aus and say that it was one of the canon Timelines#five hargreeves#ofc he is the easiest one for me to draw I can't draw adults to save my life dshjds#Viktor Hargreeves#he deserves to be more violent on screen#allison hargreeves#there is one braincell for all the siblings and she has it most of the time help her#diego hargreeves#ben hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#my art#once again do not take this too seriously it's like half au/half hcs#idk how to explain but for me Five is as 58 as he is 13#He's making the biggest effort to tell his siblings where he goes for once#while bringing a gun of course#Luther and Diego makes me wanna jump off a roof to draw but I love them a lot too#tua#tua fanart#the umbrella academy fanart#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#hargreeves siblings#the hargreeves#they make me very emotionnal I love them#ghost ben I miss you#I miss you sm n6 Ben#I shouldn't have given Klaus a shirt it was a reflex sorry Klaus#disclaimer I don't draw with references sorry I really try to :'))#they don't have the same faces every two doodles it's normal for now ahah
653 notes
·
View notes
Text
yeah you support trans people but are you normal about trans men who choose to get pregnant
#i'm not a trans guy who evr wants to get pregnant but#the amount of queer ppl and other trans people i see joke around about like#how weird mpreg or men getting pregnant is#and use it as shock value shit#is really disheartening#like damn dude! it's almost like men CAN get pregnant and there IS a lot of men who choose to get pregnant !#they don't deserve any less respect for that#and their existence shouldn't be made into a joke#ik mpreg doesn't have a great history but like#it just weirds me out to see people treat the idea of men getting pregnant as something baffling#idk normalize it. stop treating it as some weird alien thing#my textbox#a little bit upset. sorry#discourse#pregnancy#<- for filtering
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, THE NEXT BOOK 7 UPDATE FOR THE JP SERVER IS SET FOR MARCH 1ST.
HOW WE FEELIN LADS!?!?!
AHHHHHHHH NOOO I'M NOT READY, I thought we'd be getting the fourth anniversary first and then Sebek's birthday and then maybe some more episode 7, I didn't -- I didn't think it'd be Friday --
oh god and they're rerunning the story cards, they didn't say this was the final part but it feels like...maybe the penultimate chapter? could the end of episode 7 finally be looming in the distance?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
#art#twisted wonderland#gif warning#gifs that accurately represent the inside of idia's brain whenever he has to have a social interaction#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#THE SHROUDS ARE BACK IN TOWN BABY#time to find out how the heck ortho managed to hack(?) his way into the dreamscape(????) via a couple of robot dogs(????????)#a-are they going to show us dream!ortho#i don't know if i want that or not. i mean i do but DO I?#(chanting softly) ortho fight ortho fight ORTHO FIGHT --#okay no we're cool we're all cool here#preparing mentally to get exactly zero answers to any of my burning questions#(i kind of suspect anything involving crowley-and-possibly-revaan is going to wait until the presumed episode 8....)#(FEEL FREE TO PROVE ME WRONG THOUGH TWST)#man i just want someone to say the words silver vanrouge at some point#60/40 on whether or not i think it'll actually happen but i want this for my BOY#HE DESERVES IT#he's been through so much just let him have this#...there is something a little bit hilarious about sebek's birthday coming AFTER a big episode 7 drop though#we're gonna be in the middle of like. sebek manfully clasping silver's arm and monologuing about how they are brothers in soul or whatever#and smash cut straight into sebek in a sparkly silver bowtie screaming at a picture of goofy falling down a toilet#my kingdom hearts brethren...i am beginning to Understand
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it’s safe to say Ranchers Win These
(In the silence between the last two panels, there is a 20 page comic in my head filled with flashbacks of every moment Scott teased, scolded, or dismissed Jimmy—and every moment where Tango was instead kind, patient, and proud)
#limited life smp#limlife#limited life#24lsmp#jimmy solidarity#Scott smajor#smajor#implied ranchers but I won’t tag it I suppose#Jimmy#solidaritygaming#solidarity gaming#Scott#art escapades#LISTEN I LOVE SCOTT SMAJOR TO DEATH NOTHING AGAINST HIM AND NOTHING AGAINST ANYONE WHO SHIPS FLOWER HUSBANDS#/gen!!! i honestly like flower husbands a lot#but I just think. that jimmy deserves someone who is kinder to him and that jimmy should be able to grow as a person and decide who he->#keeps in his life and who he moves on from#that’s all <3#nothing against any ship or anyone :]] i'm just being goofy and enjoy spinning things to my current preferences ehehe#please don't read any malicious intent! i have none! just being silly goofy and making art for a fun spin on this moment
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
I do not now, nor have I ever, expected Gideon to take a principaled stance on the forever war. I just don't think it matters to her. Ostensibly she's on her dad's side because her dad has been on a parenting kick lately, and the best she ever got from her mum was goodbye with a stay of execution. But if she were confronted with the ethics of the situation? Asked her opinion? I don't think she'd have one. She may be a prince, but at heart she's still the abused eighteen year old girl who fought tooth and nail to join the army just for a way out
#we've got other characters to have political opinions#paul. coronabeth. ianthe. even pyrrha#gideon is as she has always been—in survival mode#she has the political consciousness of an eggplant emoji#and I don't think that's changing any time soon#I don't WANT that to change any time soon#she neither deserves nor is equipped for large-scale ethical responsibility#the locked tomb#gideon nav#kiriona gaia#ntn spoilers#nona the ninth
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Weird thing that bothered me about Rebirth and I want to hear other people's thoughts.
Um... Why did they gentrify Gongaga? I can't be the only one who feels cheated by the chummy suburban development vibe in Rebirth.
OG Gongaga is an isolated village deep in a jungle. It's possible to completely miss the first chance to visit, because it's practically unheard of. All the young folks fled to the big city. A reactor blew up and killed most of the inhabitants, leaving the town in a state of decay. The houses are falling apart, the people are desperate, it's derelict and miserable.
An understated theme in the OG is how life is difficult without modern technology. Avalanche sets out to destroy these reactors without considering the consequences for their own futures, thinking "well it won't be easy but i'm sure it'll be fine." Gongaga is the story's way of showing you just how fine everything is going to be— despite being in a lush rainforest, long since violently cut off from Shinra's influence, these people still suffer immensely.
I wanted to see it in hd so bad honestly. The splintered rotting wood, the furskin rugs, the dirty brick walls. The unspoken yet unignorable trauma. The mournful purple twilight that quietly hangs over the whole village. I wanted to see the survivors' spiteful determination to make things work without mako.
Instead we got a squeaky clean Crisis Core rendition of Gongaga, with its down-to-earth upbeat stardew valley soundtrack and generic hard workin' country folk. The houses are like... twice the size i expected them to be. Neat and tidy, no holes in the roofs, no dishevelled interiors. No sign of struggle. Everybody is content at worst.
The reactor may as well have never exploded. Nobody talks about it. We hear some bullshit about Shinra trying to "make amends" or compensate people for the damages, and that's about it. Apparently everybody's just fine with this, because all of the original version's resentment and grief is gone.
Don't even get me started on the barker stationed at the town entrance. "Come experience nature's bounty!" Man... why are we treating it like a goddamn hippy tourist attraction. OG Gongaga would have had someone knock this kid's teeth out.
Idk I'm just sad. The melancholy is what made Gongaga so memorable despite its bump-in-the-road identity. I wish we could have gotten that instead of one big callback to CC.
#like. it's nice that we get to see cissnei#but... sigh.#listen i've said it before and i'll say it again: i am not an og purist#but the more i think about it the more i'm inclined to just... act like crisis core doesn't exist#and don't get me wrong. i love crisis core. this game is iconic it's hilarious it's heartbreaking#crisis core wanted to reinterpret stuff from the original and i respect that!!#but crisis core is also horribly tone deaf while trying to be dead serious. that's half the reason it's funny as shit.#why should we trust cc to set the standard for any reoccuring place or event throughout the entire compilation?#to put it bluntly: i do think cc's interpretation sucks in a lot of places and we have GOT to start retconning shit lmao#slightly related hot take: i think genesis and angeal are fantastic characters trapped inside of a game that couldn't do them justice.#anyway. gongaga deserved better rant over#ffvii#ffvii rebirth
313 notes
·
View notes