#and in front of one of my new friends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

my-yellow-world · 11 months ago

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First panic attack of the year!

So fucking fantastic, I just love my brain. <3

#sa survivor #tw sa #recovery #ed recovery #and in front of one of my new friends #in college #in class!#he was so kind and understanding #i don't deserve this #i don't deserve any of this #i fuckin hate Instagram

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padfootastic · 24 days ago

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can’t help but think of how, if we choose to go by sirius’ characterisation as a private, arrogant teen who only lets a select few into his circle, sirius’ post-azkaban life just have been such an utterly humiliating experience for him.

especially OoTP. when he has all these near strangers in his childhood house, that he hated and loved and ran away from and couldn’t ever escape. if he spent his entire pre-azkaban existence building a cold and aloof persona, not letting people know what his home life had been like, then to have all of these people get a front row seat to it because of kreacher and portrait walburga’s shenanigans must have been near unbearable. to have the entire order, including snape whom he disliked and mistrusted, hear the kinds of names he’s being called.

not only does he have to deal with the retraumatisation of his childhood, but also the fact that he’s flayed open for everyone to see. it’s not only his freedom, innocence, dignity that has been snatched from him but his privacy also. it’s such a cruel thing to experience, on top of everything else.

to have literal children, his godson who he has been kept away from all this while, whom he presumably wants to be able to look up to him, to have him see into the deepest parts of his soul. to have to be so weak in front of him. not only is he subjected to such vileness but he also cannot do anything about it.

sirius has not had a moment of peace in all the time we knew him. it is indignity upon indignity that is heaped onto him. every other character has gotten a moment of respite but him. it fully breaks my heart.

#sirius black #i am in the mood to sob tonight clearly #i just #was reading a fic #where it recounted walburga ad kreacher’s screams and taunts #and it suddenly hit me how humiliating they are?#like #even if it’s an inanimate object and a house elf #to be called an embarrassment and shame of my flesh and filth #by the only remaining members of your family #and to have it be traced back to your family #to know that your mother was alive but did not care that u were in azkaban #and that everyone else knows it too now #to walk around in every corner of your childhood house and be able to see exactly how u grew up #no boundaries no limits #to have other people keep touching parts of your family with the audacity to throw them out #and move it around #to call your home names #i just. cannot imagine.#the level of helplessness he was operating with #is it really any wonder he was the way he was #hell. he was actually so much better than he should’ve been #lesser men would’ve been catatonic or going off on a rage fuelled warpath #it’s so embarrassing to have your parent even correct u in front of friends sometimes #and to hear all this abuse. shouted at you.#and not one person ever stands up for him #or shows him any empathy #i’m actually amazed that even after all these years i’m able to find new tragedies in sirius life #HAS THAT MAN NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH #pen’s notes

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yardsards · 8 months ago

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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage

#eliot posts #dunme #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao #but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here #i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying #tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number #(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a #plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time #and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars #and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75 #the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???

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dhmis-autism · 2 years ago

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Hey hello!

Here are some colored doodles of the fun little DHMIS bodyswap idea thought up by the very fun, very smart @escargon! I did them way back when and wanted to finish them up to add to the fun lol.

It was sooo much fun to draw and I hope I made it clear whos who by the body language/dialogue but if not! I put a helpful little diagram in there. Also,as well, I think if Duck had access to a relatively-normal sized body like Reds’ that duckman is dressing up and NO ONE can stop him. So that’s the last two.

#DHMIS #don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis duck #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #I have SOOO MUCH TO SAY ABT THESE BC THIS CONCEPT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO MY ANY WAY YOU SLICE IT #so im just putting it here bc. i said everything nessecary I think.#anyways i think yellow in reds body would just be crouching down the whole time. not used to the height and is a lil scared of standing up #also think he would mouthbreathe so hard he'd get the whole front of yarn wet itd be disgusting shkdsh #i think either ONE of them in yellows body is like 'OW WHY DO I SUDDENLY HAVE A MIGRAINE'#and I absolutely think Duck in Reds body would be a literal actual monster #He would let the new height go to his head SOOO FAST its not even funny like. just absolute menacery #and obligatory getting to wear normal clothes of course. again. mad with power imo.#also i DID draw but didnt finish the idea that Red would hate both of the other twos clothes. like just be so viscerally uncomfortable #i drew a lot of stuff that didnt make it here but yknow what thats just stuff only my good friend Bear shall know i suppose............#my dhmis postings #me art

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impostorsshow · 7 months ago

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I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me

This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["

#also object shows are the new mlp community change my mind /ref #from what ive seen a very large part of the community is centered around death/gore or mature topics? it reminds me of the mlp infection au #that and smile hd and everybody keeps saying object shiws are kids shows - if kids are making this stuff then good for them /gen #every fandom has its toxic/proship/18+ side obviously but from my pov gen alpha needed something they coudl handle age appropriate extremes #with - its just alot harder to make compelling emotional angst/gore with newer ultra sanitized shows or w/ mascot horror #and like thats a whole nother tooic but its obvious to me younger kids have flocked to mascot horror so harshly because average kids tv is #much more afraid of tackling any big topics to the point that the ones that DO [bluey] immediately are pushed into front and center #but i mean i also rewatched a few episodes of the shows i grew up with and ngl i think we need shit like ren and stimpy and invader zim #i hate ren and stimpy and i didnt grow up with zim but i grew up with pbs kids shit and that shit looking back was hella boring i never #cared for any of the tv shows i saw aside from elmos world and even then i was hoping that something gorey would happen. at like 5 yrs old #im rambling anyway im not sure if im actually going to get into the os communitg but i AM horribly attached to tape to the point that its #maybe possibly becoming harmful to my mental health so im gonna stick around for him for like months #just know that if im not posting anything its because im obsessed with this guy #oh also DID/MALE SA REP LETS FUCKIN GOOO #I LOVE PSYCHOLOGY AND IVE HAD LIKE 4 FRIENDS WITH DID/OSDD I NEED MORE POSITIVE REP OF STIGMATIZED/COMPLEX DISORDERS !!!!!#art #tape dispenser #search for smos #talk talks #EDIT NO. NO DONT SAY IM THE ONLY PERSON ON TUMBLR WHO HAS USED THE SMOS TAG NO. OH MY GOD #PLEASE BEING OBSESSED WITH SOMEONE ELSES OC IS SO GARD DONT LEAVE ME ALONE DO I NEED TO BUILD THIS FANDOM FROM THE GROUND UP??? NOO

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outlying-hyppocrate · 4 months ago

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MY SCHOOL SCHEDULE ABSOLUTELY FUCKS????????

#random thoughts #I BARELY HAVE CLASS ON WEDNESDAY AT ALL. JUST ART FROM 1PM-3PM. ASTOUNDING #AND I ONLY EVER START AT 8AM ON MONDAYS. AUGH I FUCKING LOVE MY LYCÉE THANK YOU FOR CHANGING.#also just had the most wonderful time out with friends. went to buy lots of lovely drinks and such #then we sat in front of the church and talked a bit. it was quite nice [:#home now!! one friend has gifted me a bubble wand and a grape-flavored mogu mogu. amazing.#i feel better than i have in weeks. like i'm opening a whole new chapter in life. so warm and filled with life <3 #even though my stomach suffers presently. a chronic tragedy.

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weezerlvr228 · 26 days ago

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hi fam !!

#weezer #rivers cuomo #brian bell #patrick wilson #mikey welsh #ahhh omg :( i just fumbled so bad socially #and i just need to like. never speak again i feel.#and i’m trying to comfort myself because like. my friend started talking badly about me #and said i only use her to vent which makes me sad because i didn’t think that was true and i try to do sm for her #i made physics study guides for her ; compliment her when she posts ; and post her on my story a lot and always wave to her and talk to her #and i dunno. it makes me sad to think that but i can’t help it; you know? i just need to be alone sometimes and not speak to anyone #and it isn’t like i don’t wanna be her friend ; of course i do but like. it just hurts my heart she doesn’t wanna be my friend anymore #and it hurts my heart so bad and i dunno what im meant to do. and yesterday i had a party #and i said a bad joke in front of the wrong people and i just. accidentally embarrassed one of my good friends and i feel so bad #and everyone js went quiet and it’s just. i feel awful and need to be like. beheaded.#and i try to comfort myself like oh it’s okay. today is a new day. but today i feel even worse about it and there’s nothing i can do #to fix this; like on one hand THERES NOTHING I CAN DO TO FIX MY BLUNDER!!! but on the other hand; there’s nothing i can do and i have left #my imprint in their minds and it’s so bad. i wish i was like. dead or something; yk? like not even weezer can make me feel better and it #sucks so badly . i wish i could just not think anymore and ignore everything in my life. i just hate myself so badly right now ; and i can’t #even be sure that i’m gonna be better cuz i just lack so much social awareness. i wish #i was more socially aware . i just hate when i get too comfortable. i wish i awkwardly sat in the corner and #didn’t speak to anybody the entire night to spare myself from any awkwardness. i hate parties!! i shouldn’t have gone :(#SORRY FOR THR BENT POST I JS NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE AND LIKE. GET KT OHT YK?#it’s just so. ahhh i hate everything sm rn :( but liek me and the friend joke like that all the time and idk. im just. :( i feel terrible #and i’ve apologized and he said it was okay but embarrassing cuz some ppl looked at him for his reaction #and i dunno. i just feel awful and need to just. focus solely on academics until my brain is fried and i can’t function or something !

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larabar · 1 year ago

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when sonic willingly is corrupted by the cyber energy its all blue because thats still him hes doing this for his friends and he will make sure theyre ok even if it means going all out. because he loves them

#dont talk to me im SICK #/pos #its like how sage turned blue whenever she was doing something for someone else or just. full of love #hes got all this power yet hes still got his friends at the front of his mind #because he loves them #because hes here !!! reaching far across these new frontiers !!!!#“in my hands i hold the ones i love” <<< !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GH sorry sorry. please talk to me about the dlc im. exploding #sth #rambles #sonic frontiers spoilers #frontiers dlc spoilers #THE MUSIC actually just give me one more second #at the climax. when hes fully corrupted and eggman is lining up the final shot #when it seems like hes gone #the vocals weve been hearing the whole time come back full force over the instrumental #giving everything theyve got.#just as sonic is #MAN i wish i knew music theory so i could actually put this all into words. but the way the vocals represent sonic and his goals #and how they come back even after such an aggressive guitar solo #just !!!#h. idk. thats all #go on with your day ill just be here #im he-💥

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magentagalaxies · 23 days ago

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creation of adam but it's this photo of me handing scott the martini before his buddy cole set in the KITH toronto show

#just now i was feeling shitty and scrolling through youtube until i saw someone had posted a clip of the buddy monologue from that show #and the clip just happened to include my cameo!! so i may be just sitting in my childhood bedroom still unpacking from college at 2am #but on my phone is the image of me sharing the stage with my favorite comedian in front of over a thousand people #so y'know life isn't always one thing. i'm capable of being bored and stressed but also capable of THIS #i wanted to comment on the video to say hi but the original uploader's comments were off #but this did make me feel a lot better bc oh my god that was such a fun weekend #i should text scott soon to let him know i'm done with college. and see if i can make new year's a tradition again #i met scott on new years (and even tho i'd talked to bellini before it was also the day we met irl for the first time)#and last year i managed to convince paul to invite me and scott and some other friends over for new years bc i wanted it to be a tradition #not sure if paul's up for it this year but i did ask scott about it last time i was in toronto #when i asked his plans for new years he said he might be out of town (which is okay)#but then when i explained it was the anniversary of when we first met he was like ''no actually i'll be here'' which was funny #my friendships with bruce and paul are generally in a similar place to where we were at the beginning of the year #(like obviously knowing each other longer makes us closer but our dynamic hasn't changed which is still positive bc we were already friends #but holy shit december 2023 jessamine and scott are like unrecognizable compared to december 2024 jessamine and scott #and the fact that we technically haven't even known each other for two years is WILD like it won't be two years until the 31st #anyway i'm getting rambly i'm tired i should sleep. my circadian rhythm is messed up and the lighting problems in my room are not helping #goodnight everyone see you tomorrow for more nonsense

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opiumvampire · 27 days ago

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at my childhood best friend’s extremely catholic wedding trying not to cry too obviously and i look over at my dad and he has his phone out googling ‘cubs news��

#so rude #my mom was like ‘put your phone away!’ and he went ‘whaaaat :( its cubs news :(‘#the wedding was really nice but catholicism is weird and the pastor guy accidentally called the groom by the brides name #and then went ‘sorry buddy.’ imagine getting sorry buddy’d in front of god and everybody one minute after being wed #my friend’s mom was like So When’s Your Turn? :) and i had to be like Well Mary I Just Got Set Back Three Years But I’ll Keep You Posted

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theflyingfeeling · 8 months ago

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...😭

#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one #the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all #i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today #as i was absolutely useless today #and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again #i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again #i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it #i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn #and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now #also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely #and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends #for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations #on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed #i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely #please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby

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front-facing-pokemon · 2 years ago

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#another bonus under the cut where i got up under their big head to get 'em a little closer and a little more front-facing #aggron #aggron is just cool. a big metal bitch who *could* hug you but is probably actually just gonna obliterate you. is that anything #i think i prefer lairon more. it's kinda just a little metal creature and i think that's awesome but aggron stands up #and normally i'm a big big fan of when pokémon stand up. when everyone wanted sprigatito to not stand up i was like #please stand up. because i am a furry and i knew it was gonna become favorite pokémon material if it did. and it did and meowscarada is #wonderful and i love it and it's one of my top like 10 of all time. but aggron is like. i dunno. a little too gruff for me #i think aron and lairon are cute and i'm generally a fan of and user of cute pokémon but aggron is very. how you say. aggressive #and also… ron… aggressive ron. new show on netflix i just reinvented aggretsuko but for pokémon #also weirdly every furry on the face of the earth likes aggretsuko but for one i've never had a netflix account and for two i just #don't ever watch shows. it's just not something that works in my brain. having to get them‚ and then just taking the time to sit down and do #it just never does anything for me. the last show i watched was because i was over at a friend's house and he was like hey. we're watching #this show now. i want you to see this show. and it's a show that folks generally lamented for a lot of reasons so i was like iii dunno about #that one! but he was like no trust me it's fine. and then i was like. kinda uninterested at first but it turned out to be really good #and i'm still ashamed. that i liked it as much as i did. so i will not say what it is. it's not supernatural. it's a short-ish show #but like it was good and i didn't expect it to be. which has nothing to do with aggretsuko OR with aggron for that matter #literally idk. look it's distraction (AGGRON DISTRACTION)

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arikitari-josei-osaka-naru · 5 months ago

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Three final official cameo appearances of Naru Osaka. 🎀❤️‍🩹

Sailor Moon Cosmos:

Sailor Moon manga, Stars arc (Act 52):

and 90s anime Sailor Stars (episode 173):

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tittyinfinity · 2 months ago

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It's really nice having a free housekeeping service thru my Medicaid but ever since my regular housekeeper that I had for a year (now friend) got promoted in March it's like every other person I've had fuckin hates disabled people