#i don’t consider myself a feminist but i feel like

[pro-birth]

Simone De Beauvoir should be to feminists what Sigmund Freud is to psychologists: important to read from and learn about for the context of the modern field but fiercely detested for their sexist BS infiltrating our society.

[cowchickenbeefpork]

It is fascinating to me that Edward nygma is the only man who has someone in love with them kill their lover and justify it. Every time this happens to a character besides from Ed it happens to a female character. The fact his own desperation to not face responsibility for doing that action toward a woman makes this more tragic

[mywordstovictor]

It’s just a little bit soul crushing when I come across trans men talking about how much they hate men. Apologizing for being one. Like ‘haha I guess I’m a trans man yep that means I, as a man, suck, just like all other men haha feel free to vent your frustrations about the patriarchy at me. I can’t help being a man I hate men why would I choose to be one?’

I remember being there. Hating the gender you belong to is exhausting. It’s worth deconstructing I promise, even just for your wellbeing. Here’s a start:

Manhood isn’t inherently tied to misogyny and violence. Misogyny and violence are choices. Just choices that men are disproportionately conditioned into making. Men can and do rewrite that conditioning all the time. Manhood isn’t the problem. The problems are misogyny and violence. You’re not a bad feminist because you let go of the hate you have for the manness of yourself. Your manness doesn’t make you violent or misogynistic, being violent and misogynistic make you violent and misogynistic make you violent and misogynistic. Testosterone HRT doesn’t turn you into the archetype of male violence. Testosterone isn’t the driving force of misogyny and violence. Do you understand what I’m saying? Misogyny and violence are not inherent and inescapable to anyone, regardless of identity. Being a man doesn’t make you evil.

Treating misogyny and violence as inherent to manhood excuses men for being violent and misogynistic. Accountability is real hard when you consider doing bad things a fundamental nature tied to an identity. If men are sexist, can you blame this man for being sexist? That’s just how men are. Do you see how this is boys will be boys hidden behind a couple layers of pseudo feminism?

I spent years dancing around manhood because I believed the second I labeled myself a man I was the enemy. The number of ways I found to describe my masculine identity that weren’t man. The number of times hearing ‘at least you’re not a man’ set me back. The number of times I came so close to manhood, but ran into an explicitly trans inclusive ‘I hate men’.

I think the best word for how manhood feels to me is settled. Being a man feels like home. Masculinity feels so gentle, in a big ol’ teddy bear sort of way. Growing a beard and letting your little cousin stick flowers in it. Making sure none of my students think it’s okay to make fun of the kid who cries a lot. Answering ‘boys don’t cry’ with ‘I’m a boy, and I cry every single time a dog in a movie is sad’. I want to be so kind. I want to be the man someone chooses to start working on their dog’s fear of men with. I want to be trusted to watch a drink and to walk with people to their cars at night. I want them to find a cure for cat allergies so I can get that patting-tiny-animal-with-hairy-hands gender euphoria without eye irritation. Cardigans and top surgery scars. Wrinkled hands injecting testosterone. My dream life closes on sweet if eccentric old man.

I may have tangented a bit, but just… you don’t have to hate the man part of you. It doesn’t do any good. It’s not a moral responsibility. You can let that go because ‘man’ is just a gender. It isn’t a fundamental evil that exists deep within your being. The only evil masculine urge I’ve ever felt is the desire to wear athletic shorts in the middle of November. You’re not doing anything wrong by existing as a man I swear.

[ramblings-of-a-detrans-woman]

Why I will never support the radical feminist movement, as a detransitioning woman.

note: this is not meant to be any sort of hit piece or slander, I respect every feminist, even ones I disagree with. This is just my reasoning for why I do not like the radfem movement.

For a bit of context, I’ve indentified as trans since I was 12. At 18, I’ve decided to live my life as a lesbian woman, and i’ve never been happier with that choice.

Now, being a young trans man, I interacted a lot with pro trans content online (of course I did), and so of course I’ve heard about radical feminism. A passionate branch of feminism that takes a unique approach to women’s rights- deconstructing gender entirely. It sounds wonderful in theory, because of course gender is oppressive, most notably of women. I would know, being one. Even when I was trans I had to worry about being out at night. I even got chased once, and a man attempted to lure me to his truck another time. It’s brutal. But radical feminists devote their activism to ending this in a straightforward, logical way.

So why do I, a woman who has experienced both misogyny and transphobia, not support that? I feel that this is a good question for both trans allies and radfems alike to to ask. Knowledge is power.

Well, I’ll be direct. Radfems are some of the most depraved people i’ve ever met. I know, that sounds like a lot, but there’s no other words I can use that don’t perfectly encapsulate my experience with radfems. It’s depravity.

For weeks, I was harassed by transphobic radfems. Radfems, who are insistent on their love and support for TIFs aka trans men. It’s strange then that they would be so cruel towards one, wouldn’t you say?

Detransition is hard enough. It’s difficult to tell family that you were wrong. It’s difficult to reconnect with my gender. Hell, i prefer the term detrans over cis just because i have such a disconnect from my gender. So why do I have to deal with transphobic radfems sending me gore and death threats?

Thankfully all of the accounts doing this seem to be deleted or repurposed. But it’s only a matter of time until a new account is made just to send me an ask telling me to kill myself or a message about how much of a loser i am.

It’s this reason alone why i’ll never be a radfem. They’re just sick people. They don’t want liberation for women, they just hate trans people. It’s not even thinly veiled, their accounts are fully based around how horrible trans women are.

The truth being, trans women aren’t bad people at all. It’s easy to think they are because the news and media cherry picks some of the worst ones, but every community and minority group has bad people in it. some of the sickest people you could imagine, really. yes, they can be trans. but does being trans make you a sick person? does it turn you into a predator? no, it doesn’t. it just means you’re trans. trans or not, it’s up to men to be mature and take accountability for their own actions that they consciously make. a cis man is as capable to walk into a women’s room as a trans woman is.

if radical feminists cared more about women and detrans women, i could consider getting along with them. but sadly, all these passionate and dedicated feminists care about is hating trans people with a fiery passion. and i’ve been a casualty. it’s very difficult for me to sympathize with radfems when they’ve upset me to the point that they have

let me make it clear that gore and death threats don’t upset me, i’m not easily offended. So it’s not the threats that make me angry. It’s just the principle. The fact that radfems are spending their time scrolling reddit for gore pictures to send to fellow women instead of supporting us makes me SICK. it’s heartbreaking to picture a woman, raped and beaten by her boyfriend, and a radfem standing in front of her, readily available to help, but choosing to yell at a passing detrans woman. It’s really sad.

hopefully those reading this can take my words into consideration and use it to improve yourselves or your community (if you’re a radfem). i love womanhood and being a woman and i would love to share that joy with my sisters, but i just can’t when these issues i’ve experienced are in the back of my mind. I want radical feminism to be a safe space, a place where sisters can go to talk to women, relate to women, cry with and support women. but so far, the only love and support i’ve received has been from the trans community. that speaks volumes.

i am going to post more about my experience with finding my womanhood again in the future, so if you’re a detrans woman yourself, trans ally or not, consider following me :) i’d love to build myself a little community

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

[littlemisssatanist]

on the topic of me being team green

a bit of a different post for me, considering what my blog is, but i was honestly so offended at being called a misogynist i made a fresh google docs page and typed out 1634 words of me ranting.

is there a real reason to post this? probably not, but i felt the need to establish myself as team green, considering all the posts i've been liking and commenting on lately. (if you are team green, and you see this, feel free to be my friend. in fact, i am begging you to be my friend. i have no tg friends and i need to see the light).

beware, typos and repitition are probably aplenty.

Whenever I see people talk about being TG, I always will see TB stans in the comments saying something along the lines of “Oh, you must be a misogynist, then.” And you know, it never happened to me until a few days ago when I commented on a TikTok post about Rhaenyra beefing with two-year-old Aegon. Someone replied to me, saying that I only brought it up because I’m a misogynist.

And. You know, I’ve been insulted before. I’ve been called ugly, stupid, immature, whatever whatever. But I honestly can’t think of a worse thing for someone to say to me, that I’m a misogynist. I know this isn’t that commentator’s fault, because they obviously don't know me. But the irony of calling me a misogynist when I am the most misandristic person to exist on this earth. I pray for the downfall of men daily. I make fun of them. Whenever I see an AITA post on TikTok, I am immediately on the woman’s side, regardless of what she may have done. 

It’s because I distrust men to a certain degree. You know what’s different for ASoIaF, though? It’s not real. It’s all fiction. TB stans will come on the internet daily and complain about TG existing, calling us misogynists, elevating the conflict between us to that of a literal genocide. Are y'all delusional? Are you guys stuck so far up Rhaenyra’s ass that you can’t tell reality from fiction? 

Y’all love to preach about how Rhaenyra is the number one feminist girlboss of Westeros, without realizing exactly how exactly you’re falling into the trap. You uphold a woman because she’s the heir, meanwhile she steals Rhaena’s and Baela’s inheritance in order to put her illegitimate sons on the throne (which, btw, is treason). But of course you guys wouldn’t care, because you like to think Rhaenyra is the exception to the rule.

That’s the thing. She’s only the exception because of her father, the king. After Viserys dies, she suddenly finds herself back in the same patriarchal world that y’all love to claim she’s trying to overthrow, that she’s trying to change. 

I don’t hate Rhaenyra because she’s a woman. I hate her because she’s a stupid woman. She knew exactly what it meant to be a woman in Westeros; she gets forced into an unwanted marriage (and even in that she gets far more freedom and will to choose than other women), she is undermined for being a woman, and others view her as unfit to rule. I would sympathize with her if she did absolutely anything to change that whatsoever. 

Y’all love to say that she’s so iconic with her dragon scenes, but what did that really accomplish aside from showcasing she is unfit to rule? She has three illegitimate sons who look absolutely nothing like her. Even if Viserys was on her side, everyone knows that they are bastards. Like, at least Cersei’s bastards looked like her. Rhaenyra was a white woman with white hair married to a black man with white hair, and her first three children are white boys with brown hair. Girl, if you were going to have bastards, at least do it with someone that bears at least some resemblance to your husband, or yourself. She purposefully made it harder for herself.

And for those of you guys who will bring up something about Laenor being gay. I genuinely don’t know how to tell you this, but if they truly cared about keeping up appearances, they would have had children. I say this as a queer person myself: If I were in Laenor’s shoes, I would have children with my coverup. Afterall, that’s what a coverup is for. And also: I could find nothing about Laenor being infertile. 

And for those who will also bring up Laenor accepting the Strong boys as his own, I literally couldn't care less. Everyone and their grandmother could see that those boys were bastards. Laenor accepting them and Viserys being delusional doesn’t change the fact that they were illegitimate, and everybody knew it. Secondly: Rhaenyra would need to admit the boys were bastards in the first place for anybody to claim them, something she did not do. In fact, she went so far the opposite way, I wouldn’t be surprised if she managed to delude herself that they were legitimate. 

And this I don’t understand. How do you shoot yourself in the foot, not once, not twice, but three times, with three obvious bastards, knowing that people would oppose you, people already oppose you, and still think yourself fit to rule? Every decision Rhaenyra makes is so stupid, it’s almost mind blowing to me. To live in Dragonstone for years while your father, the king, is sick (in which case, btw, the heir is supposed to step in to rule). Instead, we see Alicent ruling the kingdoms from behind the shadow, because Rhaenyra does nothing but live out a couple of years of bliss and comes back to King's Landing expecting everything to be handed to her. She does absolutely no politicking, absolutely nothing in order to sway the lords to her side. Should she be so surprised, then, that she is met with such resistance? 

Y’all TB stands love to call TG misogynistic because we don’t worship your perfect little dragon lady, as if her uncle-husband isn’t Lord of Fleabottom and grooms and rapes her from a young age. As if Daemon hasn’t called women whores and bitches, and his first wife, Rhea Royce, ‘Bronze Bitch.’ Like, is that not disgusting to you? Y’all love to preach about how Daemon loved Rhaenyra, as if he didn’t choke her the moment she disagreed with his methods. As if his first instinct everytime is anger and death and war.

(In case y’all couldn’t tell, I am extremely anti-war. I am under the impression that if you can’t solve things by talking it out, then you are definitely not mature enough to be ruling a kingdom, and Daemon is one of the most immature rapist misogynists I’ve ever had the displeasure of seeing).

(As an aside, I am not blaming Rhaenyra for her relationship with Daemon. Yes, I do find that most of her actions are stupid, but I cannot deny the fact that she was groomed and raped by him-- yes, raped, because she was a child, and children cannot consent. That is in no way her fault, and Daemon is the one responsible for this).

Y’all praise Rhaenyra for her maternal instincts while simultaneously hating Alicent for hers. Of course, an eye for an eye is unreasonable and far too much, but a son for a son is totally reasonable and to be expected. Rhaenyra protecting her children is being a good mother, but Alicent (rightfully) assuming that her children would be persecuted if Rhaenyra ascended the throne is her being a jealous bitch. Y’all blow her “sweet sister” line so much out of proportion, saying that she wouldn’t have killed her siblings if they just came over to her side. As if Alicent’s children, Alicent’s family, would choose Rhaenyra over her. Because “Helaena was the only good green” and “if only she just joined Rhaenyra”. Why would she ever do that? Because Aegon was a bad husband? The show literally stated that he only ever laid with her when he was drunk, because he couldn't do it otherwise. Obviously neither of them sought any pleasure from it, but they are still family. Helaena only had Aemond, Aegon, Daeron, and Alicent. Why would Rhaenyra ever be worth what her family is worth to her?

On a similar note, TB stans will constantly say how “oh, I feel sorry for younger Alicent, but not older Alicent.” As if Alicent wasn’t a 14 year old girl groomed and abused, as if she wasn’t twice pregnant by 17. As if Alicent wasn’t a victim doing her best in a world specifically designed against her.

That’s the difference between her and Rhaenyra. Both were victims to a much older man, but Rhaenyra considered herself an exception. Alicent had no choice but to be the bad guy, and despite how much y’all love to ignore it, Rhaenyra should have done the same. “Oh but Alicent was jealous of Rhaenyra!” Like you wouldn’t also be jealous of Rhaenyra? Rhaenyra, the perfect little princess, loved by her rapist daddy the king, who had everything handed to her on a silver platter. Would you not also be infuriated by her attitude, the entitled way she views the world? I’m sorry, but if your “strong female character” needs every other female character to agree with her, then she’s not that strong. Or a girlboss.

In conclusion, Rhaenyra sucks and is a terrible role model. True feminists love Alicent Hightower. Also, negative comments will be deleted, bc yk what is so fun about the internet? You can block people. I know, crazy concept. If you don’t want to see me or other TG on your for you page, consider blocking them. That tends to get rid of the thing you don’t want to see. I will also be doing this to anyone who thinks they’re smart enough to argue this topic with me. I do not care, hope your day goes terribly. <3

Btw, please never call me a misogynist again. In fact, you can call me Little Miss Misandrist, because there is no universe out there where I side with a man over Alicent Hightower. Or any woman at all, for that matter. 

(Except for maybe if the pickings were between Rhaenyra and Criston. If you’re one of the media illiterate TB stands who consider Criston to be an incel, you should also go ahead and block me, your stupidness is draining my brain cells).

Stay mad, xoxo.

[happysleepyhypno]

Hiii everybody!!

Thanks so much for 100 followers 💕😵‍💫💕

I figured now would be a good time to introduce myself! 

You can call me Happy, or Happy Sleepy.  I am a bi, non-binary hypno switch in their late twenties.  I loooove getting stoned and watching / making hypno content 💕

You can use any pronouns you like for me!   

I’m just here to try to make fun stuff and get better at making hypno content.  I will make and share content for whatever I’m feeling at the moment, but what I’m into includes some taboo stuff.  

Consider this a warning that this blog will share hypnotic and erotic content that is inappropriate for minors, and content that may be harmful for those with photosensitive epilepsy.  This blog may share content that sexualizes misogyny, forced feminization, forced gender transition, and forced gender detransiton.  This blog may also share Bambi/Bambi adjacent content and similarly intense hypnotic content.  Please engage at your own risk.  If you don’t like it, please just move along.

 - - serious IRL type talk below, if you’re not in the right headspace for that, skip down to the row of heart emojis- -

For your comfort and safety, I want to state explicitly that I am doing it all for the kink, especially the pro-misogyny and detransition content I share.  IRL I am a feminist who most people perceive as a cis gay man, and I was assigned female at birth.  

Coming of age into a misogynist society as a girl/ closeted trans person broke my brain, and now I think that playing around with misogyny between consenting adults is hot 🤷‍♀️  

In this day and age, I strongly believe that women and trans people deserve to fully relax and fully engage with their sexuality when they have the bandwidth to do so.  Relaxing and letting go in our private lives is necessary in order to stand our ground in a world not made for us.   

So keep dropping deep here, letting go of your worries here, so that you can keep surviving out there.  They make this world fucking hard for us, but we will keep going.  

I love you.

anyways… 

💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕

here’s a run down of what I’m into and what you’ll see on this blog:

💖

-Being horny for all genders

-Hypnosis

-Mind control

-Feminization

-De-trans feminization 

-Misogyny kink

-breeding

-cock worship

-bimbofication

-intox kink (420)

-praise kink

-dom/sub

-bondage

-cnc as it relates to hypnosis/ mind control 

-pet play

-light age play

❌

-bodily fluids (excluding cum)

-extreme pain or degradation 

-gore and vore

-incxct 

-non-hypnotic cnc

-hypnosis where the idea of it being permanent or harmful to you irl is a central theme (exception for if it’s framed as a fantasy)

-pxdo/zoo obviously 

My inbox is open but I probably will not reply consistently!  Would LOOOVE feedback on the files I make of ideas for future files! 

Thanks for dropping by!

💕😵‍💫💕

[gayeilgeoir]

Being a genderqueer radical feminist is the most confusing shit ever.

I don’t consider myself trans, I have gender dysphoria, but transitioning implies I wish to change my gender, I just want to be free of gender. I’m more butch than anything else

I feel like I’m the only one who can acknowledge problems in the trans and radfem communities. I see that acceptance ONLY can cause problems, but I think those problems are highly over exaggerated by reactionary terfs. Select few horrific trans people are often chosen and spread around to represent every trans person.

It’s impossible to address trans topics without nuance. Each trans person is different, making legislation virtually impossible.

[pokegyns]

Reclaiming “TIRF”

now i won’t say i personally call myself a tirf, and i absolutely respect the choice of any radfems who refuse to call themselves tirfs because that sounds like radfeminism centers trans people, i believe transmascs deserve to feel safe & respected within feminist spaces, as radfeminism (despite being heavily misrepresented) does have a tendency to mistreat transmascs & dismiss their struggles, as well as pretend dysphoria isn’t real/cannot ever be neurological. gender critical transmascs & their allies should have the right to reclaim the term tirf, similarly to how radfems who aren’t actual transphobes but have been called terfs have the right to reclaim the term terf. true nuancefems, who can be critical of gender whilst still not being discriminatory to trans people.

i understand that a lot of radfems who aren’t close-minded on trans topics call themselves terfs in an ironic way, to mock tras when they start with the harassment. but we also have to keep in mind that there has been a slow, but rising trend of conservative women co-opting our terms. they are downright right-wing & bigoted. they often tend to also target intersex women, detrans women, black & brown women– and generally everyone who they can call a “dirty male invading (white) women’s spaces”. their ideology is built on vulgar materialism, eurocentrism & white supremacy. they support transvestigating, and they want to achieve their goals of “total female protection” through invasive measures such as inspection of genitals. we shouldn’t jump to say “this never happens”– it does. mainstream tras often protect horrible people within their community, fearing that even simple criticism of “their own” will destroy their reputation, when it would actually improve it. they refuse to outcast those people, while outcasting others who merely disagree with them on an ideological level. this proves their corrupt immaturity & inability to conversate with understanding & nuance. we shouldn’t be like them. we need to outcast the genuinely hateful people, and show that they have no place in our community. they aren’t our allies. while i don’t believe that women can systemically harm trans women (i do, however, believe they can systemically harm trans men, though in a very very limited way, but the focus should be directed at cis men & not at them when talking about antitransmasculinity), women can definitely be hateful & still perpetuate & uphold bigotry & discrimination. these people also often use ableist slurs & call disabled people sensitive when they call them out, as well as using fetishistic slurs against trans people, especially against transfems. they often use conservative talking points & portray trans people in a weird & derogatory manner, mocking surgeries & bodies.

on the other hand, there are a lot of women who aren’t intersexist, racist, or otherwise bigoted– but they still tend to be close-minded on trans issues. they are often 100% anti-transition under every circumstance. i don’t believe ostracizing & outcasting them would be productive, as they often are detrans women who empathize with dysphoric people, but because the affirming-model harmed them, they harbor a lot of pent-up anger & express it in an extremist way. we should be conversating with them & exchanging opinions, but we still should be very careful not to harm the trans people in our own community & we shouldn’t force one-on-one conversation if the trans people in our community feel uncomfortable with that. i myself used to call myself a terf, but i feel quite uncomfortable with that, being trans myself– although i’ve been called one on multiple occasions. nowadays, simple things such as acknowledging biology & sexuality are considered terfy, it’s laughable.

i felt aversion to the term “tirf” for a little while, as there has been a recent boom of liberal feminists realizing that militant feminists are starting to mock them, so they started co-opting feminist branches. some of them call themselves intersectional feminists, although intersectional feminism is not its’ own school of theory. others call themselves marxist feminists without reading any theory, as they believe it’s simply the trans-inclusive alternative to radfeminism. some of them are starting to call themselves radfems, but they are always extra careful to preface that they are trans-inclusive. of course, libfems don’t give a damn about dysphoric people– they just weaponize our pain & scream “choice!” at everything they encounter. they are simply afraid of being mocked by feminists. there is, however, a portion of tirfs who are generally just afraid of being judged by tras. i do not think they can be considered real radfems (even if they express otherwise radfem views; anti-porn, anti-sw, anti-beauty industry, etc.), as radfeminism is inherently gender abolitionist, but we need to be welcoming to them, as they are usually nicefems whose fears should be understood. a lot of us were once in their position. being mean to them is counterproductive, we should let them go through their own journey of peaking.

i still personally feel levels of aversion to the term tirf, but if more actual nuanced radfems start using the term, maybe it will boom into some unexpected rising branch of nuanced radfeminism. radfems who, despite not actually being transphobic, can feel free to call themselves “terfs” in a mocking sense, as i believe it’s harmless. we shouldn’t mimic mainstream tra behavior & lock ourselves up in another echo-chamber, except this time instead of it being a tra echo-chamber it would be a magical tirf echo-chamber or whatever. shouting “op is a terf!” would just bring about unnecessary alienation. it would just remind me once again of the times i felt pressured to repress my beliefs & add a “terfs dni!” disclaimer every time before making a slightly-more-than-mainstream feminist point. but we should still be careful of making the trans people within our own community feel safe, and not letting actual genuine transphobes (so, not gender criticals & gender abolitionists & homosexuals, geez, i mean the actual hateful transphobes) in our spaces. i feel the term “terf” is not a good enough descriptor anyway, since the people who co-opt our terms to make bad faith (often conservative) points are not only discriminatory against trans people, but also people of color, intersex people, disabled people, detrans people & often also gay people. we can call out hate & bad faith points without alienating ourselves from our community, and we can outcast horrible people within our community without using meaningless terms to throw at them, the very same terms that are used against us 24/7 anyway as well.

– mod zoroark

[femsolid]

I have a confession. I’ve considered myself a radical feminist for almost a decade. I try to abide by my feminist values in every area of my life, from what media I consume, the friends I keep, refusing to date men, never dressing uncomfortably, no makeup, speaking up for women, volunteering, etc. But despite all of this, I think I am going to get plastic surgery and I feel really guilty about that. The thing is, I am frequently called ugly by strangers when I go out, despite grooming myself well and dressing competently. I was also bullied in school of course, but for some reason I get worse abuse as a grown adult. Groups of people, usually men and teens, will harass me in the street, even when I’m in my car, calling me hideous, telling me to cover my face with a bag, stuff like that. Lots of people have told me I look better with a mask on. The other day, I was volunteering, and a small child talking to his mother mentioned that I had an ugly face. Even my friends, when I had them, would overtly pity me for the way my face looks.

I honestly can’t take it anymore. I need the comments to stop, I am not strong enough to deal with this whenever I try to go out and do something with myself. I don’t even want to be pretty or anything, I just want to be average, unremarkable. I hate the idea of giving money to a plastic surgeon and putting my face in their hands, and my parents will also be ashamed of me for doing it, but I have to do something because I can’t live like this anymore.

I know going through with this will be hypocritical so I guess I will have to stop considering myself a radical feminist, and that hurts too. But I’ve hit a breaking point. I need things to change, now, and I’m willing to take the risk and throw away my values if it will grant me a chance to make the comments and stares and abuse and pity stop. I just can’t take it any more.

We all make compromises in life. I'm an anticapitalist, yet I work for a corporation because I need a roof over my head and food on the table. You think women should not care about their looks and that plastic surgeons exploit women's insecurities, but you want to get plastic surgery so that people stop harassing you. Ultimately, we are humans. And we are living in a world that doesn't necessarily share our values.

There are a lot of people who are mocked for their appearance in the world. People who look unusual, people who have a certain ethnicity, fat people, hairy women, disabled people, etc. We're not all going to the plastic surgeon, obviously. Most of us live as we are. I think it's money you could use for better things. I think it's not worth risking your life. And I think the only work you need is in not valuing the stupidity and cruelty of idiots who are not worth it. Obviously, it's your life, and you decide what you do with it. Cosmetic surgery is legal, unfortunately, so if you want to do it you can.

[mxjackparker]

Masterpost of my articles and other publications on sex work, for those interested in hearing a sex worker's perspective who want a place to start or who enjoy my writing and want a reference point!

The writing below comes from my own website as well as several magazines and outlets, covering a wide range of topics. Descriptions are provided. All articles are free to read!

Art by heyweeirdo (@ heyweeirdo on instagram)

The law (decriminalization, the nordic model):

Dear Home Secretary: A Plea for Sex Work Decriminalization No More Perfect Victims: Solidarity and Incarcerated Sex Workers “Bottoms and Tops We All Hate Cops” - the way queer people and sex workers need to have solidarity and refuse police presence at events, and the history of rejecting police by both groups. Decrim Means Decrim NPCC Sex Working Guidance - a breakdown of current guidance given to UK police on sex work. Age Verification Bills and the Chilling Effect A Guide to (Legally!) Lying About Selling Sex How the Online Safety Bill Will Harm Sex Workers Criminalized Friendships Sex Work and the Labour Movement in the UK

Stigma:

Whorearchy 101 - all about the hierarchy that sex workers are placed into and who faces the most stigma (and why). When We’re Not Murdered: The Dangers of Deviance Secret Sex Work: When Sex Workers Don’t Tell Our Partners Aileen Wuornos and the Danger Sex Workers Face

Trans people:

The hidden trans men in sex work (Irresistible Damage magazine) - how trans men are invisibilized in discussion about sex work despite frequently engaging in it, and the problems we face as a result. Transmasculine Guide to Sex Work Sex Deception Guidance: The Impact on Trans and Intersex Sex Workers - about the recent guidance for the law in the UK around considering "deception as to sex" a form of rape and the impact on sex workers. Working While Trans: What it’s Like to Transition at Work How to Support our Trans Sex Working Siblings - aimed at other sex workers! Trans Solidarity with Sex Workers Losing Online Platforms Means Trans Sex Workers Lose Out Trans Masc Workers and the SWERF to TERF Pipleline Why “Feminist” Anti-Trans Advocates Also Hate Sex Workers The Pressure to Pass - what it's like for trans sex workers who have to cater to chasers for their income. Transmascs Rentboys and Why We Hate Ourselves How to Book a Transmasc Sex Worker

Advice/info for allies:

Is It Okay To Say Whore? - what language is often considered offensive when speaking about sex workers and why. My Friend is a Sex Worker and I Have Questions! What Can I Do to Support Sex Workers? So, You Have Feelings for a Sex Worker? How to Talk About Minors Selling Sex Sex Work Slogans What is Survival Sex Work? The “Happy Hooker” Narrative Empowerment vs Objectification: A False Dichotomy

Sexual health:

How Sex Workers Keep Working on Our Periods Selling Unprotected Sex Hookers Carrying Diseases? Intentional Condom Breaking - clients who break condoms despite sex workers insisting on using them, or stealthing.

Issues Sex Workers Face & Personal Experiences:

Pre-Prostitution Jitters - how I deal with the stress I experience before selling sex, especially after a break. After Client Aftercare - what I do to take care of myself after seeing clients. Nowhere to Hide: Facial Recognition and Sex Work - the impact of facial recognition on me, as well as sex workers more broadly. An Open Letter to Sugar Babies Post-Client High - the adrenaline rush that often comes after meeting a client and getting paid. Who Has Time For Sex Worker Rights Activism Anti-Capitalists Selling Sex Paying to Advertise: The Costs When Selling Sex Clients Cancelling Attention Deficit Hooker Disorder - A discussion about how many sex workers have ADHD and why that's the case. Lesbian Hookers - why lesbians sometimes choose to sell sex to men. My First Brothel Experience How Underage Sex Work Really Feels

Porn:

How to Build a Healthy Relationship with Porn Viewing Porn as a Sex Worker Who Makes It How To Get Rich Making Porn - why the promise that sex work is easy money is a lie, and the reality of what people are likely to earn. Porn and Sex Addiction - a breakdown of the concept of porn and sex addiction, discussing why the framing of "addiction" doesn't work for these issues.

Studies and data:

No Data on Prostitution? Just Make It Up! - A look at the ways people who write about sex work or create legislation to regulate and criminalize it often make up the data they use to justify themselves. The Problem with the Data on Sex Work

Racism:

Wealthy White Women and Sex Trafficking Anxiety Stop Saying “The World’s Oldest Profession” - a discussion of why the phrase "the oldest profession" is racist. Racism Among Sex Workers

Advice for writing about sex work(ers), in both fiction and non-fiction:

How to Write Sex Worker Characters Fiction About Sex Workers How Non Sex Worker Characters Can Be Relatable to Hookers Responsible Reporting on Sex Work

SWERFS:

The Ideal Nordic Model Poster Child Why Julie Bindel is Wrong About Sex Work Bullshit Radical Feminist Arguments About Sex Work Trauma Fantasies about Prostitution - how SWERFs fantasize about sex workers being harmed and use this commentary to convince others to support their legal positions. “All Prostitution is Rape”: A Response Who Are You Calling a SWERF? - why sex workers are sometimes mislabelled as SWERFs for discussing our own trauma and how to recognize actual SWERF rhetoric.

Pop culture:

Feminism 101 and Barbie's Plastic Ceiling Love is Blind (and Whorephobic) - on the topic of the attitudes among contestants on Love is Blind towards sex workers and sex workers among past personalities on the show. Hazbin Hotel: An Analysis on Sex Work Themes Sex Work Themes in Interview with the Vampire We'll Make a Game with Dragons... and Hookers! - Dragon Age Origins and how it treats sex workers. RuPaul's Bigotry is a Drag

This covers the majority of my articles about sex work, though there are a few more on my website!

Published works:

If you'd like to read something longer and more comprehensive about an element of sex work, I have a couple of books published! Working Guys: A Transmasculine Sex Worker Anthology - a book containing essays and personal narratives from 21 transmasculine sex workers, alongside chapters explaining common issues trans people face in the sex industry. (£5 for the e-book, £15.99 RRP for a physical copy.) Contemporary Prostitution: Study of a Social Question - a translation of the original French book from 1884, by Léo Taxil, all about what prostitution was like in the 1800s in Europe. Physical copies available at online bookstores! (Free or pay-what-you-can for e-books!)

My newest book, Hooker Mentality, is not yet out but you can read more about it here and sign up to be notified when it becomes available for pre-order if you want! It's a book containing thoughts on society from a sex worker perspective, including hookers' insights into the systems which control us all and revealing why so many of us become radically left-wing after we start selling sex.

[banishedchildofeve]

,, warning, a rant post,,, mentions of s*x work and p*rn in our society below.

A girl at my work asked me why I wasn’t agreeing with her as she and another workmate of ours discussed modern feminism. I was listening, to be polite, as there was nothing else much to do and no customers, and not saying anything. I’m usually quiet at work, but she seemed to take offence to my silence, as if I should be interjecting into the conversation to express how much I agreed with her.

I told her that I don’t believe modern feminism is always a good thing, and before I could even explain myself, she gave me a horrid look and said “right, because it’s easier to do nothing and get all that male approval, isn’t it?”

It was mean and I blinked at her, affronted and confused. Usually people let me explain when this topic comes up and I voice my opinions, if I have to, as I like to not cause conflict. Normally, I explain how I feel, very politely, about issues that feminism has brought up for women like the normalisation of abortion, contraceptives and dangerous hormone-changing pills, not marrying or even trying to find love, ‘sex work’ being seen as powerful etc etc.

I usually use my example of “girlboss” culture to help people understand how I’m not trying to be hostile or anything, but this workmate didn’t even let me and walked off to go talk to the manager who we’re all really good friends with. The other workmate I was with looked confused too and she joked about the awkwardness of what had happened, and I brushed it off but on the train home I was thinking about it again.

I was thinking about how often wives, mothers, homemakers and nuns/sisters/friars etc. are looked down on, often by feminists because they aren’t some business woman who only wears tight office-chic blazers and gets drunk every weekend and posts bikini pics. I thought about the young girls who dream of homemaking and wifehood, and the women who choose it over a career, and who are sort of viewed as pathetic or weak or ‘old fashioned.’

I’ve been told firsthand that my dream of being a mother isn’t good enough and how I “need to decide on a real career path,” or “something other than that, at least.” I’ve been made to feel small or stupid or that I’m offending all the women across all the generations who worked hard for our rights.

And this hurts, because I love women. I look up to who I consider to be the best feminine influence in all of human history, Mother Mary, daily. And I felt confused as I thought, because isn’t it all about choice?

Why is my choice less valuable than hers? Why is my choice to abstain until marriage, not drink coffee or try this pill or that drug or this drink something that I should be embarrassed about? Why is my modest mufti day outfit at school earning me stares and causing snide remarks? Why are we bringing up girls to believe that being a p**n star something empowering, something to do to “make a quick buck.”

Why are we letting young and influential girls believe that their worth comes only from their body, their aptness at reeling in boys, the size of their boobs, the way they dress and how many drinks it takes them before they’re throwing up at a house party outside on the lawn?

Why are we letting men, husbands, boyfriends believe that their wife/girlfriend/fiancé’s body is something that they can both benefit off if they just film that one video, or take that one photo? Why is it okay for a man to watch p*rn while his wife sleeps next to him?

Why is “she has an OF,” an insult, or something that takes away from her worth? Despite the fact she doesn’t feel beautiful unless a man is complimenting her body? How is this her fault? What could she have possibly done? She’s been taught that her body is all that guys care about. She believes that if she doesn’t do this act or send that photo she is wasting his time, she’s not worth his time.

It makes me sad. I hear younger girls talk in the bathroom at work while I’m in their cleaning or whatever about how this boy sexted them this, or how this other boy’s invited her over to his house on this time and how she’s been watching tutorials on how to … well, you know.

It makes me feel sick. These girls don’t know the danger they’re in. They’re being raised in an online world where it’s trendy to wear tiny shirts and post photos of your butt.

Most of the girls I overhear talk of things like this look 14-15.

This is not their fault.

They’re not to blame. It’s the world we let them indulge in. It’s a world where they’ve seen and heard and tried so much before they’re even able to legally get behind the wheel of a car and drive. Before they’ve even taken a proper exam at school.

When our frontal lobes detach, we become so ignorant to danger. Teenagers drive fast, do drugs, dance on the railings of bridges above highways and believe they’re invincible. It’s natural, sure, to an extent. But this is the time when so much can go wrong. Innocence cannot be returned.

I hate to think of how many girls will realise just how groomed and shaped they were by this toxic culture that surrounds us as a society later on and wish they hadn’t done this or that.

I want to protect these girls. I want to comfort them and keep them from these horrible, evil ideologies and that fuel harmful industries and create dirty, satantic fetishes in which people profit and people enjoy.

I want the girls who only dream of marriage and having kids to be safe and protected. I want girls who think it’s cool to smoke cigarettes and steal their parent’s booze to be safe and protected. I want the girls who dream of being billionaires and dating 40 men to be safe and protected.

Young girls are so influential and I wish there were better role models to show them that there is life and beauty and comfort and promise in the life that is ‘old fashioned’ and ‘anti-feminism.’

There is new life in Christ, always, of course. But I really wish the evil didn’t get there first.

I want to raise my own daughters in a world where it’s not okay to watch p*rn and use social media and consider sex work “empowering.”

I want girls and women to see that their worth does not come from how they look; but from within. From their heart, from their charity, from their kindness, from their humility, from their love of helping others, from the words they choose each day.

Of course this means we must make changes now, and step by step, starting with ourselves and our behaviour and headspace and habits. Changing for good can change others for good, inspire good, produce good, spread good.

Our daughters are relying on us.

Okay rant over, God bless all who read this. I hope you’re okay.

<3

(i wrote this awhile ago and just let it sit in the drafts. sorry it isn’t structured well. i was getting v emotional when i was writing this oop lol. i’m not here to have arguments, i hate arguing and it’s even worse online w literal strangers. i just am so sick of all this evil and damage being disguised as “pro women” and “feminism” and to speak out against it is to sound like a woman-hater, which is the last thing i am. the last thing a girl my age could ever be smh).

[1yyyyyy1]

i’m sorry for dumping this here, but i don’t know who to reach out to who’d actually give me a profound and logical answer like you. i feel like existing in a female body is a curse. at this point it doesn’t really matter why we developed this way, whether it is due to males selecting the weakest females to reproduce with or because females were already ‘weaker’ from the start; what matters is that we have to live with less strength in a world that worships power. (1/2)

just reading about how women are more sensitive to pain than men is enough to blackpill myself into oblivion. seriously it’s so depressing. i don’t even have problem with menstruation or other female ‘issues’, i don’t mind having breasts or an uterus. it’s just the fact that having a vagina coupled with less muscle makes life so damn dangerous. i feel like women will never be taken seriously as long as we are shorter & have higher voices. as much as radfems claim it’s not crucial it is.(2/2)

This is most likely not the answer you are looking for, but you are not more at risk of bodily harm than a male because we do not live in a material world where people's livehood is up to chance or is at the mercy of another human being. People experience both positive and negative events according to their karmic background, and while I cannot guarantee that you will never experience bodily harm, you are highly unlikely to experience a life-threatening event unless you are harming people yourself in some horrible way behind closed doors.

If you don't want to consider the spiritual perspective, I would say that the best thing you can do for yourself right now is start taking your outlook seriously because your concerns are perfectly valid, and removing the stress that comes with doubting your own perceptions is something anyone can start benefiting from at any point in time. Women are most certainly not prone to having a rational outlook on their physiology or making decisions that benefit women long-term, which is why I have personally stopped looking for validation from feminist communities and women at large and tailor my environment according to my own concerns, like not associating with men and viewing it as reasonable. I see no value in being taken seriously by anyone either as I do not believe it to be a precondition to improving your living conditions, and would personally give up trying to project some kind of respectable image of myself or women as a class altogether.

For the most part, the most immediate solution for any woman with a similar issue is to remove her doubts about how she perceives her body and the validity of her safeguarding concerns, as many would call me paranoid for being wary of men to the extent that I am and taking these opinions seriously would have prevented me from distancing myself from men altogether and living a relatively stress-free life in the past. Even though you may not be able to do anything to persuade women into ensuring your safety and mental well-being, you can always start trusting your instincts and intuition which will only benefit you in the long run.

[possiblyunhinged]

Honestly, there’s always been an unsettled feeling in my stomach when it comes to the way progressive men talk about capitalism. There’s such a fixation on class—with blinkers on. Seldom do they acknowledge how race and sexism shape these power structures. And when conversations turn to violence against women and girls? Progressive men are often nowhere to be seen.

I’ve written on and off this website since I was 13 years old, and most of the “engagement” I’ve experienced has been from men; some even became my IRL friends... well, apart from the 40-year-old man from Maryland who would ask for pictures of my legs and attempt to groom me. Back then, I wrote a lot about capitalism because, let’s face it, I’m a one-track record. But whenever I shared something about being assaulted or anything remotely feminist? The men who constantly engaged with my other posts were nowhere to be seen.

This trend has followed me throughout my life. At university, the men I knew would happily perform progressiveness—until it came time to reckon with their own role in systems of oppression. And I say this as somebody who really struggled to come to grips with my own privilege. I understand the simmering discomfort people feel in conversations such as these.

I saw myself as someone who grew up in poverty, had undiagnosed autism, lived in a domestic violence household, and was homebound due to agoraphobia—so how could I possibly be privileged in any understanding of the world? It took me a lot of time to read, listen, and sit with uncomfortable truths to understand why I was contributing to something so painful for so many people. I found it deeply embarrassing to be confronted with my ignorance and, in many cases, to realise how I had chosen it when I had the option to learn. It emboldens people’s oppression when “good” people do nothing.

I started truly engaging with the words of women of colour, in particular, and even now, I have to constantly poke myself on the shoulder when it comes to topics about justice. I remind myself to think about how these structures of oppression, more often than not, are even more pervasive when considering the influence of racism. I learned to sit with that discomfort and hold myself accountable—and to this day, I’m checking myself and making a deliberate effort to be conscious of race.

If the core reason you care about critiquing a capitalist system is because justice matters to you, then that same principle should apply when thinking of the experiences of women and people of colour. If your moral foundation is strong, why would it crumble when confronted with forms of oppression that capitalism exploits and deepens? It shouldn’t be about appearing virtuous—it should just matter because it’s morally wrong.

I just wish men were truly there in the conversations. I wish that, instead of relying on women to exclusively speak out—and then becoming the recipients of relentless trolling and pushback—men would take on some of the burden. Every day, women navigate the behaviour of men they don’t know. We’re not avoiding certain routes because they’re inconvenient or “dangerous”; we’re avoiding them because if we’re attacked, raped, or harassed, we’re left wondering: will anyone stop them? Will our screams even be heard?

Too often, it feels like when we speak about the violence we endure, society’s response is to hold up a sign that reads: “Please shut the fuck up, you’re making us uncomfortable.” It doesn’t inspire much hope, to put it lightly.

And men may roll their eyes reading that. But even when women are murdered by their partners—when their bodies are blended or dismembered—they are rarely given the dignity of their name being used in news articles. Instead, the narrative focuses on the man’s shockingly “unlikely” profile as a suspect. Maybe it’s because our understanding of why violence against women and girls is so pervasive is chronically outdated. There isn’t a “type” of man who does it. We just choose to ignore sexism at its molecular level, to overlook its breeding grounds, and to use the inevitable results—women being killed, harassed, and stalked—as opportunities for collective sighs before continuing to do nothing.

We’re seeing young men becoming more radicalised, with a clear political distinction forming between young men and young women. Teachers are reporting shocking levels of misogyny in classrooms, and the impact of this is devastating. Silence isn’t achieving anything.

But, of course, the problem isn’t the influencers feeding them hatred or the systems failing them. No, it’s apparently young women’s fault—for not sleeping with them, for having “unrealistic” standards, or for waiting around for Jason Momoa. That’s the rhetoric these young men are being fed, and it’s both laughable and terrifying.

When my abusive father left our family home, one of the first concerns people raised was about my brother. “Who would he be without his dad? How would this loss affect him?” We acknowledge the enormous influence men have over other men, especially young men. We recognise the importance of mentorship in helping boys and men craft fulfilling, positive lives for themselves. Yet, at the same time, we accept silence from men when it comes to educating young men about sexism—a silence that enables systems of misogyny to persist.

And what is the cost of that silence?

Who pays the price?

I feel like I write something like this every so often, and the feeling is the same—exhaustion. Whether I’ve wanted to participate or not, men have truly been centred in my life since day one. Whether that’s my dad or feeling dutiful to men who hurt me because I was brought up being told their feelings were silent killers—so how dare I inflame them by not being docile or thoughtful to that, regardless of the pain inflicted on myself.

It just feels to me that society has collectively decided that women are simply collateral damage in an issue they don’t have the bravery or commitment to address. Clapping when a billionaire falls victim to a system they benefited dearly from, before a deafening silence when, yet another, woman is murdered by a man—and not thinking for a second why her name hasn’t even been used—is worrying to me.

Above all else, it makes everything else stink of disingenuous bullshit.

[annabtg]

I thought your answer on jily and whether or not they were in love or if it was abusive super interesting!

Personally I’m not the biggest jily fan but that has more to do with the main tropes being used that I tend to find tiring and outdated. But Ive been trying to get more into it recently and it’s been hard finding fics I enjoy because they are either too snape bash-y or feel anachronistic in how they portray the relationship. When im reading jily I actually prefer the writer to lean into the outdated tropes instead of trying to make it fit the modern readers ideas of appropriate courtship behavior, because otherwise it doesn’t feel authentic to me. Specifically it bugs me when they make James a super feminist that would never ask Lily out more than once (I don’t think he’d recognize that as sexual harassment as a teenager boy in the 70s). I get that this is popular fanon right now but it’s been hard to find a fic that doesn’t have this.

So my question is do you have any jily fic recommendations that fit this description (minimal Snape bashing and time period accurate)?

Hi there!

By your wording, I'm not sure if by "time period accurate" you mean fics where he actually asks her out a lot. The beginning of your post seemed to imply that, even though I would argue that it's not the only time period accurate headcanon. Indeed, there are plenty of reasons someone in the 70s may not have repeatedly asked a girl out - from his ego being bruised by her first rejection, to he actually took no for an answer and that doesn't necessarily mean he's a super feminist icon. Not everyone who takes no for an answer is. :p

You may have more luck with old-time fic, tbh - the "ask her out a million times" trope was much more prevalent then, and people were not as feministically aware :p though Snape bashing was much more common. I actually feel that in most newer Jily canon fics Snape is portrayed as a well-rounded antagonist, rather than bashed.

So I'm going to start with some oldies:

I recently read Commentarius by @bcdaily and, while I wouldn't say I got the perfect 70s vibe from it (more like the 90s - it felt very accurate to the way I grew up), I enjoyed seeing in it a portrayal of James that I think most people wouldn't dare write today for fear, exactly, of him not being feminist/respectful enough to Lily. I won't get into details to avoid spoilers. (Very long and incomplete, but considered a classic.)

I also hear The Life And Times by Jewels5 features an immature James who grows up throughout the fic, but I haven't read it so I couldn't tell you myself. (Also very long and incomplete and considered a classic.)

If you enjoy the idea of James being an outrageous little shit for comedic effect, you might enjoy Procrastinator-starting2moro's fics. I haven't read Obsessive Lily Disorder since 2006 so I can't say I remember it very well but the title should give you an idea of how insistently he asks her out in it :p though there may be some Snape bashing in it.

For more recent works, I will gladly recommend everything by @nought-shall-go-ill, who creates the most atmospheric depictions of 70s/80s UK, and also likes Snape and enjoys nuanced portrayals of Jily.

Other writers whose portrayals of James I thoroughly enjoy and who do a great job of presenting James as the little shit that he is include @annasghosts and @ohmygodshesinsane.

And to finish with some self-recs, anything in my James Potter Is A Little Shit tag should be a good bet. I would give a shout-out to my older fics Birthday and Fascination, and my newer ones Written In History and Drunk With Power as the ones you may enjoy the most. And I'll gladly tout readers' favourites The Great James Potter and Mistletoe Mishaps as examples where James is respectful to Lily in ways that I feel are natural and reasonable for the era, all while he's still a little cocky shit.

Hope this helps! Happy reading!!

[girlgerard]

something about last nights show specifically just felt so personal and vulnerable and intimate. but not in a timid way. in a loud and proud and "i'm not scared anymore" way. in an encouraging way. "BE WHO THE FUCK YOU ARE" because its the most powerful way to fight back in this world

something i’ve been talking with friends about over discord is that gerard’s demonstrated so many times he’s really really terrified of like. appropriating communities he’s not part of. obviously they’re white so they do it anyway but in issue’s of feminism and the trans community they’ve always used extremely careful language to not. take what they think they don’t deserve? like for example i remember this interview from 2016 where a woman asked him do you consider yourself a feminist and he gave this really winding answer where they were like ‘of course i support it more than anything but i can’t call myself the title because i’m not a woman and have never experienced what a woman goes through and i don’t deserve such an honor :((‘ which obviously. not how that works BUT that’s how they think of things apparently sbejfbejf.

anyway they did that with the trans community too. they couldn’t shut up about how much they loved trans people from 2014-2015 like they talked about it every single HA show. but he never used language that included himself besides that one time they said ‘we’.

but this tour. this tour feels the opposite. not only are they including themself in the language but they’re literally dressing as traditional ig ‘feminist icons’ like joan of arc and jackie o and most importantly they’re not explaining it. if this was an ally moment he’d let us know. it just feels so warm idk. again i have a fever so please excuse me if this makes zero sense