#i do not ship tim and steph

[fanaticalthings]

[Jason and Steph hanging out at Jay's apartment]

Jason: So you and Tim are like, done, right?

Steph: Oh yeah, it's definitely over. It was pretty mutual, too.

Jason: Oh, thank God. I didn't wanna say it, but it was a bit annoying whenever I invited you over, and you dragged Tim with you.

Steph: yeahhh sorry about that

Jason: It's just nice spending quality time without the rest of the bats butting in. I already have enough to deal with whenever I visit the manor.

Steph: Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm gonna be 100% batboy/Robin-free from now on!

---

Steph showing up to Jason's apartment 1 month later with Cass in tow: So here's the thing-

[cassandracain52]

Your weekly dose of Tim/Steph content

Just a reminder that this is a real comic panel that exists

Detective Comics issue #938

“You want me to make fun of your last costume again, with the showgirl wings?”

“No.”

“Then keep moving”

[mamawasatesttube]

sjfhks sometimes i think about my own tastes and. you can really tell kon is my fav bc im like. oh i like him with tim best but also i think qp kon and bart, but also i love kaliber and kon, but also i think simon valentine definitely had a thing for him, but also what if he had a threesome with hero and leander, AND he could be in a qpp with cass cain, or he could--

meanwhile tim im just like. kon or bust. die of pining if you must. no sympathy. goodnight.

[living-la-vida-lesbian]

orange and green are my least favorite colors but steph and tim are slaying! good for them

[wisdom-walks-alone]

im so serious some t*m drake stans are so misogynistic when it comes to stephanie brown I'm not even kidding holy shit

[whalehouse1]

So I’m reading Tim’s 1993 Robin run (the longer one) and I’m on issue 10 and does he get any better? So far he’s treated Ariana like crap, cheated on her with Steph (it was just a kiss but still), told Steph she basically isn’t up to this, complains about hating the mask and secret identity despite forcing himself into it (I know he was younger when he did it but you chose this and you had to have known this with how much effort they put into their secrecy) and I was told that this is a good series if you want to get to know Tim and I’ll admit he faded into the bg a lot for me in YJ98 but he still had some fun stuff. Here, he just is striking me as a whiny douche and I’m hoping he gets better.

[eternal-watcher]

Dash may or may not start a fic shipping Danny with whatever hero abolished the GIW (or at least whichever one seemed nice involved)

Many people and even governments have tried to take down ao3 to no succes. So, that’s how the anti-ecto acts come to light. I’m thinking either Tim, Jason or Stephanie for this. Just scrolling on ao3 with the real life hero fandom or a specific tag they were looking at, and they come across works of one real life hero named Phantom. Que a heartwrenching 10k oneshot about the hero and his own selfdoubt about why he would continue while humans want to tear him down, his enemies want to tear him down and he seemed to have no support.

Well damn, this hero sounded interesting. Clicking on this specific hero, they start reading more of the hero named Phantom. Just… every story contains some mention about the government and something called the anti-ecto act??? What’s this?

That’s how the JL finds out about this and resolve to abolish the laws. When Danny finally meets the bat that had discovered the laws I imagine it going something like this.

Danny: thank you, I was starting to loose hope of ever being considered my own person. *starry eyed, very thankful and just a bit (giant bucket) of hero worship*

Tim/Jason/Stephanie: ehhh, *cough*, I mean, detective work. Yes, a good detective knows the ins and outs of the law, it’s only natural I found out.

Danny: *hero worship and complete trust* you’re amazing🤩🤩🤩

I think using AO3 fanfic is an under rated way of figuring out your governments atrocities. Do with this what you will :)

[dcxdpdabbles]

I really want to see what happens next in cave boy. How fast do they build a ship to take Danny home, and how embarrassed is Connie about his mistake

"Take care of yourself," Bruce says, smiling down at him. Danny offers back a grin, making sure to include all of the other Waynes. They surround the ship that has pre-program coordination to his home dimension.

All he would need to do was turn it on and fly it through the portal the Justice League had brought to the Batcave for him. Apparently, it was built a few missions ago for other dimension traveling allies.

The magic users have formed some kind of cult in Bruce's front yard but that wasn't Danny's problem. He got tired to explaining that he was plain old Danny Fenton, a halfa that got lost.

Apparently, a few demi-gods, Wonder Something and Captain Something (Danny stayed true to what he told the Bats. He doesn't want to be involved in their heroes' business. He wasn't paying attention when they introduced themselves) had gone around telling people that he was a god and to show him proper resepct. That just drove even more colorful charaters to camp out in Bruce's yard.

It looked like a music festival out there—the ones his parents claim they couldn't remember despite spending an entire weekend at. Sometimes, Danny is violently reminded that his parents were a lot more party animals than Dan, Jazz, Dani, or he turned out to be.

Thankfully, not everyone was acting weird around him; many heroes coming and going to help set up the final steps. Tim spearheaded the effort, and after building the ship for him, everything was finally ready.

Danny was finally going home.

All his things were packed and on board, waiting for Danny to take off. He was surprised the Waynes were willing to let him take everything they had bought or sent to him by fans. It wasn't worth millions, but it was a generous amount.

He will miss them after all the lies and theft that he done, Danny had spent a long time with the Waynes. He still wasn't entirely sure he and Bruce were the same person just a counter part of one another but they were so sure he was willing to let them think that.

"Thank you for everything," Danny tells the group, allowing Dick and Steph to step in for a hug.

"Thank you for allowing us to see Bruce as a child," Cass counters patting Danny's head around Dick's body. "You were entertaining."

Tim clears his throat, stepping forward with a binder. Dick and Steph detach themselves from Danny but not before giving him michvious smiles that make him slightly worried. If they were ghosts, Danny would think that they were planning on attacking him in the middle of class on purpose.

"I'm sorry about the way I treated you, Brucie." Tim starts twisting the binder a little before holding it out. "I figured you should have this."

"What is it?"

"The contingency plans I wrote about you. In case I had to neutralize you. All ninety-seven of them," Tim says, if that's even remotely normal. Danny is even more unsettled at Jason's smile of approval or Babarba's little coo as if she were watching toddlers play make-believe.

Is showing each other contingency plans a form of love for these people? Ancients Danny enjoyed his time with them but can't wait to get home.

"Eh, thank you." Danny manages to say, curling the binder to his chest. Tim's face explodes into a beam of pure unadulterated joy.

"You're welcome! If you ever come back, we can compare notes. I honestly think plan number fifty-two will give you a run for your money."

".....I'm a civilian, remember? Punching me would be enough to beat me."

Tim waves his hand in dismisal, before leaning in for own farewell hug as Damian scoffs. "We both know that's a lie, even without your god-hood."

"Father, did he fight off suitors since he was a child," Damian raises his chin, standing up straighter in pride. He's not quite puffing out his chest, but it's a darn close thing. He doesn't seem to mind when Danny wraps one arm aorund his shoulder is a makeshift hug. "You like will have the same suitors."

"Okay."

"Goodbye, Young Master Danny," Alfred says next, straightening his hair and shirt with a bittersweet gleam in his eye. "I will forever cherish your time spent with us."

"Bye Alfred."

Jason clapped a hand on Danny's shoulder, giving it a rough push. "Don't forget about us brat. We may not be able to follow you to your dimension, but once our worlds' divide stabilizes, you better come over for dinner."

The halfa shurgs not committing to anything. The way the Flash explained their worlds was that due to how similar their two dimesions were, having someone from either place visting for two long was cutting away at the diviation that seperated them.

If that fell, the two worlds would collide and rip each other's realities apart.

They would need to allow it to heal before any visitation could be done. Sadly, the divide would have to be healed naturally. It could be days, or it could be decades.

This may be the last time Danny would see them for a long time. Stupidly, tears start to well up in his eyes, at the thought. Duke punches his shoulder gentely, not calling him out on them when the other also has some tears.

In fact, the only dry eye in the cave right now belongs to Alfred, Bruce, and Cass. What a strange little family this was.

Danny bites his lip while gesturing to the ship that hums with power. "I better get going."

"Yes," Bruce says. "You have family waiting for you. Remember to cherish them"

Danny freezes from where he climbs into the ship hatchet door. He looks over his shoulder at the gathered group and suddenly realizes something. He can see the similarities between Bruce and Dan even if he has doubts. "I will. And maybe in a few years, I'll met the versions of you and have a even bigger family. Cherish your children Bruce."

The man offers him the softest smile he has seen grace Bruce's face. "I already do."

His children swing wild, crazed eyes at him. Danny can practically see the fines in the white of their eyes, and Dick climbs over a table so he can lean into Bruce's personal space. Batman leans away from his eldest son, looking honestly stricken.

Danny laughs, closing the door. He quickly settles into the lush seats, feeling the material of the cushion creak under his weight. The familiar hum of advance technology welcomes him with open arms as he wraps his hands on the steering wheel.

For a still moment, Danny wonders what he will do if this false, and he stuck here forever. A familair ache grows in the center of his chest at the thought of never seeing his family- his real one- again but with one deep breath he forces himself to press the on switch.

The portal blares to life in front of him- white and bright, unlike the Fenton Portal- and with a loud woosh, it rips open. He can see the front of his house, and it's like a physcial blow of happniess.

He slams his foot on the gas, flying out of the cave with a wave of laughter, feeling light for the first time in over a year. The bight clear sky of Amity Park, rains sunshine down on him as he crashes against a few parked cars.

The Wayne Tech holds true not allowing him to get any damage as it stumbles to a stop in a ironic perfect parallel parking spot right in front of his house. Danny is laughing so hard, so utterly free, that he feels mad with it, as stares out the window of his home.

He is home.

The last thing he hears of the Waynes is Alfred's calm voice in the communicator as it loses connection. The portal seals shut, self-mending the air as if though it was never there.

"Thank you, Master Danny, for allowing this old man to relive a memory."

The front door of Fenton Works is thrown open, a teenager with long red hair stumbles out of it, staring at the ship. She makes eye contact with the driver and then a scream of glee fills the air.

"Danny!" She runs as fast as her legs can carry her down the driveway, and Danny quickly fumbles out of his seat, desperate to get outside. They met halfway, arms encasing each other in desperate hugs as the to sob.

"Danny! Danny! You're back" Jazz babbles through her tears. Behind her Jack and Maddie are running toward them yelling and crying, and so utterly despreate to hold their boy.

The teenagers fall to their knees from the impact of their parents, and first the frist time in over a year, Danny can fianlly breath easily.

"I'm home," He whispers, pressing himself against his family.

[schrijverr]

We’re Adopted?!?

When Bruce’s kids end up on the Watchtower due to a set of unforeseen circumstances, Jason first tries to get the League to believe that they’re all biologically related to Bruce. He tries to avoid having Jason give everyone a sex talk by reminding him that he’s adopted. This leads to all his kids pretending that this is the first time they’ve heard of it, much to the horror of the League and the exasperation of Bruce.

Based on this post.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

It finally happened. After years of successfully keeping the League from finding out about all the kids he has, they’ve finally met. And in the most dramatic way too. In a way it’s very suited for their family, but that is a detail Bruce had hoped to keep from the League.

However, it happens anyway and now his two teams have met.

They’re sitting in the common area of the Watchtower when the Zeta-Tube suddenly whirs to life and the Batmobile comes crashing into the area. It spins to a stop as if it had been in the middle of a chase, before the teleporter snatched them off the streets.

Bruce gets out of his chair and makes his way over. He isn’t too worried about them, since they’re here and while that might have meant danger before, they are safe with him now. If one of them had been terribly injured or left behind, they would be screaming and yelling already and that isn’t happening yet.

His eyes meet Tim’s, who is standing next to the car, his costume a little singed, hair askew and looking a little worse for wear. Apologetically he greets: “Hi, Justice League, promise we have a good reason to be here.”

For Bruce, this is quite normal chaos and these are his kids, but he notices that the Justice League has formed a defensive barrier around the Batmobile. They perceive his kids as a threat. It’s so absurd that he is quiet for a moment.

In that moment, Superman steps forward and demands to know: “Who are you and how did you get up here?”

“With a car no less,” Hal adds, sounding a little impressed, which doesn’t make Bruce smug in the slightest, no sir.

He is about to tell everyone to stand down when the doors of the car open and his kids come spilling out. It’s a bit of a car clown moment with how many vigilantes fit inside.

Dick nearly falls out of the side, with Damian following after him. Both of them have soot in their hair and scratches on their faces.

A singed Jason stumbling out on the other side as he loudly complains: “This is the last time we’re letting Spoiler drive.”

Steph’s costume is a little flame tattered too as she swings open the driving side and says: “I’d like to see you do better, asshole. At least it wasn’t like Signal’s first driving attempt.”

“Hey,” Duke exclaims, coming out of the car after Jason, looking a little banged up. “Just because I didn’t know where the missiles were, doesn’t mean it was terrible.”

“I didn’t eject anyone,” Steph pouts.

“Yes, you did!” Duke exclaims. “You very much did.”

“Well, not by accident,” Steph argues. “It was part of the plan.”

The other front door is now open and Cass is next to him. He puts an arm around her and pulls her into his cape. Then he decides to step in, because it seems the League doesn’t know what to do when they’re not viewed as an authority.

“What happened?” he asks.

Six heads snap his way, as if his kids had forgotten where they were. It wouldn’t be the first time, so he doesn’t even bother rolling his eyes.

Tim reports: “The Riddler broke out of Arkham, along with like a bunch of b-rate villains. They caused havoc, but we rounded them all up. Riddler took the time it took us to round them up to set up his trap. He went with a fire theme.”

“Is he contained now?” Bruce asks, a little concerned.

“Yeah, no problem, B, we got ‘em,” Steph assures him casually with a thumbs up.

“Sorry, uhm, excuse me, Batman, do you know these people?” Clark asks in that awkward, polite way of his.

Bruce contemplates for a second what he should answer. Then decides that he wants to know what happened and doesn’t want to deal with questions. So he just says: “My associates. Now report, how did you end up here?”

“Associates,” Jason snorts.

However, he is ignored by his siblings as Damian reports: “We have caught the Riddler, however we did so without solving the last of his riddles. So, he sprang his trap after we took him down and we became the target of some missiles.”

“Oh my god, are you okay?” one of the League members exclaims under their breath.

“Tt, of course we’re okay,” Damian spits back. “Unlike you, we have been trained.”

“And we learned our lesson; always solve all of Riddler’s riddles,” Steph grins, giving them all a thumbs up.

“I already said that, but who listens to Red Robin? Nobody,” Tim complains.

Before it can turn into a squabble fest again, Bruce clears his throat and Dick jumps in to get them back on track, explaining: “We tried to get away in the Batmobile, but we couldn’t outrun it forever. So we decided the best way to escape was to use the Zeta-Tube connection.”

“It was great, Spoiler sent replacement flying so he could put in the code,” Jason laughs.

“I wanted to beam us to the Cave, but with the amount of time we had, just taking us to the most recently used coordinates was smarter,” Tim explains. He checks his arm computer then says: “The chatter on the police coms is that the missile made impact where we disappeared. No one was in the area when it went off, but there is property damage. And a few of the new recruits are convinced we’re supernatural, since none of our remains are being found.”

That last bit gets a few laughs from the assembled vigilantes. Most of Gotham PD have resigned themselves to the fact that the protectors of Gotham are humans, who seemingly pull of the impossible from time to time.

However, there are always newer members, who come up with great conspiracies about how they aren’t human and that’s why they pull it off. Bruce knows that it’s a bit of a game between his kids to see who can get them to believe the weirdest shit about them.

So, he just lets them have the moment of amusement after what must have been a highly tense moment.

Then he asks: “Where is Bluebird?” since he hasn’t seen Harper among the crowd, which is weird, because she’s on the night shift, while Duke is on the day shift.

“She the one, who figured out where Riddler was and caught him,” Dick says proudly. “She was escorting him to Arkham when she noticed he was being off. Without her we would’ve never made it to the Batmobile on time.”

Bruce makes a mental note to thank her for saving his other kids when he sees her.

“We also let Oracle know we’re okay, so she can inform her and Batwoman when she gets back from her mission, just in case she saw the news,” Dick goes on.

“Wait,” they get interrupted by Hal. “How many more heroes are you going to pull out of your sleeve? What happened to Mr. I Work alone? Am I being crazy here? Why are you all just standing there?”

Clark says: “Well, it’s obvious Batman knows these people and they do not seem like a threat to us, so I was going to wait until they’d given a report before demanding answers.”

“And we will demand answers, Batman,” Diana adds, making Bruce swallow a little. “We are your friends, we hoped there would be some trust there. You seem to have a whole different team of warriors. That is something you share.”

“Don’t mind, B, he just comes with permanently built in paranoia, it’s nothing against you,” Dick tells them.

In the background, Jason snorts: “Did you hear that guys? We’re his team of warriors. His associates.”

Damian huffs at that: “These imbeciles obviously do not know what they are on about and I refuse to be referred to as such, when I am the blood son.”

“I don’t know, Robin,” Steph laughs. “It almost starts to feel like he cares. I mean, he obviously has been bragging about us.”

“He has not spoken a word about us,” Damian exclaims.

In the background, Bruce can feel a headache coming. He has tried to keep his kids away from the League for their own safety. They can’t use his kids against him, should they become compromised, if they don’t know they exist.

However, they do know now and not only that, it seems like his kids are here to cause trouble on purpose now that they finally get to meet, who they refer to as, ‘his work friends AKA the only friends he has’. Delightful.

Indeed, the League has picked up on the words Jason set Damian up for, because Hal repeats: “Blood son?”

And Clark frowns: “They do seem quite young.”

“Batman, are you employing babes to protect Gotham with you?” Diana exclaims in horror.

“I am highly trained, who dares to call me a baby,” Damian protests immediately and while his siblings would usually laugh at him, they now also feel offended.

All of them have had to defend their age to people, including Bruce. They don’t like being questioned. So all of them are falling over themselves to defend their position as protectors of Gotham.

Bruce decides to help them, explaining: “There are more teen heroes, most of you have or had a sidekick. These vigilantes keep each other safe, they have the safety of back up and I also provide good gear. They’re not running around without a clue of what to do.”

“Ahww, I knew you cared, old man,” Steph coos, while Cass taps a genuine thank you in Morse code on his arm.

“Batman, I appreciate that you look out of them, but most sidekicks have had superpowers that are related to one of the heroes and sought out a mentor to help,” Clark says gently. “You have no powers, where did you get these kids?”

And in hindsight, he should have known better than to hesitate. However, at the times, he does, because the circus, the streets, the neighbor’s and some villains, are not really good answers to that question, no matter how true. And he doesn’t know if he wants to explain.

Still, he has to admit that he melts slightly when Cass speaks up to say: “His kids.”

Plus, it’s kind of funny how most League member jump out of their skin at the sudden voice, since none of them had spotted Cass before. Not even those with superhuman senses. His daughter is so talented.

Arguably the funniest reaction is Hal, who shrieks: “Where the fuck did you get these kids, Spooky!” as he violently startles backwards.

However, Jason jumps on the opportunity, sending Bruce a shit eating grin before he does (he might still be wearing the helmet, but Bruce knows him). He says: “Well, when two people love each other very much, they-”

No, just no. Absolutely not.

The League already thinks him to be a bit of a weirdo, who is steeped in paranoia. They respect him, but they’re always a little wary of him too (which is good in a way, he doesn’t want them close to his secret identity with the threat they could pose). Still, he doesn’t want them to think he practically bred an army of shadow-y vigilantes to protect Gotham. He’d never live it down.

“Hood,” he quickly cuts Jason off, before he can continue with his nonsense. Then he tiredly reminds him: “You’re adopted.”

“WHAT!” Jason shrieks, ripping his helmet off to reveal a shocked and betrayed face even with his domino mask. “How could you keep that from me?”

It seems like everyone needs a second to recover and process after the outburst. However, Jason is gaining steam and dramatically barrels on: “For years. Years! I lived with you, you fed me, you cared for me. You are my dad. At least you were. Was that all a lie? Some ruse? How- Why- I deserved to know.”

Bruce is shocked, unable to form words. His relationship with Jason has been rough, though getting better. It’s still tentative, though, so to hear Jason refer to him as dad throws him off in one of the best ways. Until he realizes Jason is fucking with him.

Even then, it is kind of nice that Jason is messing with him. When he looks, he sees that Jason is having fun under the mask of betrayal. It doesn’t have a bitter undertone, like it would have a few months ago. Instead, it feels a little like all the times Jason messed with him in front of Commissioner Gordon, back when he was Robin.

So, later Bruce will cut himself some slack for basking in that feeling for long enough that the others catch on and join in.

It starts with Steph, who has never claimed him as her father a day in his life, but will always be committed to a bit. She sniffles: “I can’t believe you’d lie to our brother like that. Soon you’ll tell us we’re all adopted.”

“Spoiler,” Bruce warns, hoping to deter anyone else from joining in.

That doesn’t happen, instead, Dick pulls Duke into a hug and exclaims: “Yeah, next you’ll tell us Signal here isn’t our half brother, like you didn’t leave his mother at the altar.” He narrows his eyes and adds: “I was the flower boy too, I can’t believe you did that to her.”

He sees Duke’s calculating gaze, flitting between Dick and himself and knows it’s only a matter of time before he picks a side, so he grunts: “Signal, don’t-”

“She talked about it until her death. Don’t tell me she made it up,” Duke suddenly says, picking the side of his siblings. Bruce would be more glad about him getting along with them, if it weren’t for the fact that in joining him, he left Bruce.

“You monster,” Jason butts back in again, not having had the spotlight in too long. “Look what you’ve done. You can’t just drop something like that on us. You can’t just pull the rug out from under us. Adopted. Or am I the only one? Huh? Is that it? Are all of them your real kids except for me?”

It’s a little too close to home, so Bruce stumbles: “No, of course, you’re always my kid. But this isn’t news to you. To any of you.”

“So we are all adopted?” Tim shrieks, stumbling forwards to clutch Bruce’s arm. “Those people you took me away from, were they my real parents? Did you lie to me?”

And this is just unfair. They’re not allowed to gang up on him like this and be dramatic. They know he doesn’t know what to do when they get like this. He gave them a home, he kept them as safe as he could, he loves them. What has he done to deserve this?

Dick and Duke are still embracing each other and Bruce is pretty sure Dick is weeping. Steph is definitely fake crying, while Jason is consoling her. Tim is still clutching his one arm, babbling about being taken from his parents.

Cass is his favorite right now, because she isn’t playing along with her sibling, just quietly huddling into his side. Damian would share the spot, but Bruce knows that the only reason he isn’t playing along, is because he doesn’t know what their game is and how he can use it to his advantage.

Indeed, he joins in – though not entirely purposefully – because he asks: “Father, I am your true son right? I am the blood son, not these imbeciles.”

Jason is definitely hiding a snort as a sob and in that moment, Bruce is tempted to disown Damian, just so he doesn’t have to deal with all this.

He can see how shocked the Justice League is, their eyes wide with horror, none of them having truly recovered at the sudden appearance at a gaggle of kids, who are now seemingly breaking down over the surprise news of being adopted.

He should’ve just let Jason give the League a sex talk.

So, he is tempted to not recognize Damian as his own, however, he knows how much Damian values his heritage and how insecure he is about his spot in the family. And he does look genuinely worried about what’s happening. So, Bruce has to sigh and reward the vulnerability that he shows with compassion, saying: “Yes, Robin.”

Jason lets out a pained groan and says: “So it is true? We really are adopted?” then breaks down crying. It’s almost impressive how well he can sob on demand. How well all of them can, Bruce wonders when they learned that and who taught them that.

The League, meanwhile has also apparently reached their limits and Hal suddenly explodes: “Fucking hell, Bats. Is that how you’re telling them that? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Around him all the others start to nod in agreement and Bruce knows that some of those shaking shoulders of his kids aren’t sobs but laughter at this point. He wonders if it’s wrong to return any of them, despite knowing that he would never give any of them up, even with all the gray hairs they’re giving him.

He does think about it though, especially when Clark cautiously says: “It seems unnecessarily cruel, Batman. They’ve just been chased through the streets by missiles. You could have waited.”

“Yes, it is very cruel,” Diana agrees. “And I do not know you to be cruel.”

Usually, Bruce has an image to maintain, but that image includes him working alone and having no sense of humor or humanity, so obviously it’s incorrect. Besides, any reputation he might have had has just been ruined by his kids. He doesn’t have to take this judgment from his friends.

So, he throws his hands up and, bordering on a whine, says: “I’m not cruel. They all know they’re adopted. All of them were over nine when it happened. Hell, not even all of them are adopted. Not all of them wanted to be. They know! They’re just messing with me.”

It’s quiet after his outburst.

Both the League and his kids blink for a few times. It’s clear that the League doesn’t know what to believe, but his kids are luckily done with the chaos. Though, Bruce doesn’t know if he’s happy with that when he sees some of their faces morph into grins.

Dick decides to put him out of his misery first, letting go of Duke to skip forwards and sling an arm around Bruce, which he grudgingly allows. He never says no to hugs from his kids, no matter what stunt they’ve just pulled.

“He’s right,” Dick smiles at everyone. Then he jokingly tugs on one of the ears on his cowl – something he has done since his early days as Robin – as he teases: “He didn’t mind. Right, B? You are a softie under there.”

“Who cares if he minds,” Jason says loudly. “That was hilarious, did you see everyone’s faces when replacement told them he’d stolen him out of his home. Golden. I’m gonna ask O for that footage the second we get back.”

Now the League is looking at them with even more confusion. Unsure of what to do now.

Bruce wants to let them suffer, but he also doesn’t want to give his kids room to do something else to embarrass him. So, he takes the reigns saying: “Just to clear it all up; this is Nightwing, my oldest.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” Dick gives the League a bright smile.

“My second or third oldest – we’re not sure – Red Hood,” Bruce continues on, gesturing to Jason, who just gives them a salute. “And, again, the second or third oldest, Black Bat.” She waves at them, startling some again, since they’d forgotten she was there. Hm, they might have to do another stealth and awareness training day.

“This is Spoiler, she is not one of mine technically,” he continues on introducing everyone there.

Steph grins at all of them and says: “I eat his food and steal his money, but I’m not having him sign shit. All of the perks, none of the accountability.”

“And how you remind me of that,” Bruce sighs, before gesturing to Tim and saying: “This is Red Robin, my fourth kid. He is adopted, but also emancipated. And I did not steal him away from his parents.”

“Technically, he did, because they were kinda shitty, but only legally when they died,” Tim corrects, which is not necessary and Bruce will be answering questions about that for months. Judging by the smug look on his face, Tim knows.

Deciding not to engage for now, he moves on to Duke. “This is Signal, he is my ward. He normally works the day shift.”

“Hello,” Duke squeaks awkwardly.

“And this is Robin, he is the youngest,” Bruce finishes his introductions.

“I am the blood son of the Bat and the one true heir,” Damian exclaims proudly.

“Yeah, yeah, we know, brat,” Jason rolls his eyes. “You were once B’s sperm. Whoop-die-doo.”

Multiple faces contort at that, with Tim and Steph both exclaiming how gross that is and how he didn’t have to phrase it like that and how they never want to hear about Bruce’s sex life ever again in any way, shape, or form.

Hal comments: “Wait, you actually have a kid?”

Bruce fights the urge to facepalm as he deadpans: “Just a second ago, you were willing to believe I had seven or more, why do you seem surprised?”

That renders Hal speechless, which is good, because Bruce doesn’t want to be here anymore. He wants to check up properly on his kids, check up on Gotham, and be as far away from the League and their questions as he can.

So, he uses the silence to says: “Now, as interesting as this has all been, we are going home. I have a city to check on and kids to ground.”

All around him protests start up about how he either has no power over them and can’t ground them or that they’re too mature and well trained fro childish things such as grounding. But Bruce is great at tuning them out when needs must, so he types in the last of the Batcave coordinates and lets the Zeta-Tube take them home.

~~

A/N:

I love coming up with convoluted reasons of why the batfam would be in the Watchtower lmao

Also Alfred totally taught them to cry on command, knowing they would use it for evil <3

[cassandracain52]

My shipping guide for the Batfam fandom because some of these ships are getting out of hand

(This post goes out to the person who told me they legitimately didn’t know Tim and Jason were brothers and thought they were a canon couple🤢)

Acceptable/non-incest/legal ships:

Tim and Stephanie, Barbara and Dick, Bruce and Selena, Bruce and Talia, Basically Any Pairing That Is Not Adopted Relative/Adopted Relative or Child/Not Child Is Ok It's Not Rocket Science, Dick and Kori

Incest/Batcest ships:

Jason and Tim, Dick and Jason, Tim and Damian, Jason and Cass, Dick and Cass, Tim and Cass, Bruce and any of his children that is their FATHER, Bruce and Alfred, Bruce and Kate, Mari and Damian

Ships that should be illegal/personally give me the ick:

Barbara and Bruce, Jason and Barbara, Tim and Barbara, Duke and Cass, Jason and Talia

Ships that are a whole ass felony:

Dick and Damian, Damian and Stephanie, Honestly Damian and Most People He's a Child, Bruce and Stephanie

[mamawasatesttube]

just remembered how megfitz made tim think about how bernard is so much better than all the other relationships he'd "settled for" and was once again briefly consumed by rage. meghan you apologize to zoanne wilkins right the fuck now

[edmundpevensiesqueen]

reblog for wider sample size! tell me who you picked and why in the tags or replies ☺️

(ship chosen based on what i perceived to be the most popular fanon ship for batfam members)

[necrotic-nephilim]

just read the lobotomy fic and i adore the way you write all the characters. i relate to tim already but the way you write him was like you lobotomies me and out my brain guts on the page. please tell me you have more

thank you so much! i'm glad you loved it! it's delightful to know the fic was... immersive in that was, lol. it was fun to write!

i do have other dead dove fics you can find on my masterlist here, but that fic is the only lobotomy fic i have. i have plans for a lot more dead dove-esque fics i'm working on to come out hopefully soonish, though none of them are going to feature lobotomies. i might add more to that fic though, i've got some ideas i want to explore, but there's so many other things i'm working on first. i have a whole rough schedule of fics to work on. but if people really like the lobotomy fic™ i can definitely prioritize writing more for the universe! or other lobotomy fics in general, i've got some other vague ideas in that vein.

[vigil-antes]

Do you like have any good comics recommendations or anything to do with the bat fam, I don't have many DC friends so idk where to start

hiii omg ive been WAITING for this. you didnt give me any kind of parameters for what kind of fics you want so im going to list some of those i like most. its going to be a long one so buckle up:

My DC Fic Best Pics:

Short & Sweet (Oneshots/Less than 10k words)

Send to All: Crack, the bats have a sex pollen release form

glucose guardian: Funny, Tim being the caped community's accidental sugar daddy

A Brief Interview: Sweet, Damian & Tim Ageswap

curiosity and the cat: Cute, Timbern Catlad AU

Dead Meme: Crack, Jason centric, Jason keeps referencing dead memes

Have I Told You About Minnie?: Sweet, Bruce&Steph

Multi Media Marketing Mistakes: Crack, Social Media AU

an inappropriate explosion: Funny, Superman calls Batman to reel in his unruly son (Red Hood)

though your eyes will need some time to adjust: so sweet GAH, Bruce&Steph

Girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?: Funny, Timbern after the disaster with the chaos cult

Tim Drake: Bisexual Awakener Extraordinaire: Funny, YJ experiencing the mandated Robin-Induced sexuality crisis

Brotherhood: Tim&Damian, Damian Time travels right into Jason's attack on Titans Tower

Priceless: Crack, Nightwing&The Bats messing with Bane

User SuperRob: TImBerKon. Need I say more?

The Mystery of the Superboy Shirts: TimKon, Tim keeps stealing Kon's SB Shirts

Thicker Than Water: Funny, Batbros slice of life-ish

Big Bird, Commence Attack!: Crack, Jason's revenge plan involves dressing up as Big Bird

World’s Saddest Breakfast Club: Sweet, Batkids Bonding

red chrome: Funny, Tim's health is concerning enough to stop Jason from attacking him in Titans Tower

Hot Dog, French Fries: Tim&Damian, Damian gets dosed with truth serum

#SoftRobin: Funny. Damian-centric Social Media AU

Hurry Up Don't Take So Long: Sweet, DamiJon through the years

Paris vs Gotham: Crack, Social Media AU Ladybug crossover (no ships)

Can I tempt you?: TimKon, Light angst, Sweet

Bedtime Stories (15-50k Words)

Baby Birds and Bat Caves: SO funny, genuinely one of the best fics ive read, Tim-Centric, Meta(?)/Cryptid Tim, inspired by Welcome to Nightvale

Gotham Knockoff: Tim-Centric, Alley Kid Tim pretends to be the Drakes' kid to get closer to the Bats

In This or Any Other Universe: Nightwing ends up in the The Batman (2022) Universe

Dangerous and Noble Things: Kid Tim gets kidnapped by the League of Shadows. No one realizes until, four years later, the Bats notices something wrong

In this Town We Call Home: Kid Tim attracts Batman's attention to get adopted

With Violet Light: Jason finds a ring of power and becomes a Star Sapphire

Little Birds’ Wings: Jason&Other Batkids, Jason comes back from the League to a drastically different Gotham

the pact of our youth: Reverse Robins Au, TimBerKon after Tim dies (and comes back different)

Pretty Boys and Identity Problems: Sweet, TimKon, To get away from his crush on Robin, Superboy gets entangled with Gotham pretty boy Tim Drake

let's get mischievous: TimBern, during the chaos cult ritual, Bernard gets possessed by Dyonisus

It Wouldn't Be Make Believe (If You Believed In Me): DamiJon fake dating AU where they don't know each other and meet while Robin is investigating a case in Metropolis (they're uni aged btw)

I’m Pretty Sure Tim Steals Clothes: An Elaboration In The Form Of A Long Fic: Cute, TimKon, Tim keeps stealing Kon's SB shirts

Into the Deep Dark Night: Tim-centric, Tim&Jason, Tim dies as a kid and loses a bit of his humanity

Alcatraz, But On Hardmode: Sweet, Tim-Centric, A YJ mission goes wrong and Tim has to rely on Jason to get him and his team out.

His Head is Bloody, but Unbowed: Jason-centric AU where he never stole the batmobile tires, but ends up meeting the Bats anyways after he saves Robin

A Good Place: Very soft, Damian&Bruce, Damian time travels to Batman's first year of activity.

Fairy Godbrother: Sweet, The batboys time travel to each others' pasts and help their brothers when they were younger

best laid plans: Tim&Jason, Tim finds Jason after he crawls out of his grave, bt they get goth taken by the league

Mystery Man: Cute, BirdFlash, The bats aren't known to the JL, Different first meeting

One Eternal Round: Super original, Bruce&Robins, My Hero Academia crossover where Aizawa, Midoriya, Kirishima, Todoroki and Bakugo remember their past lives as Gotham vigilantes

A Meditation on Railroading: Tim-Centric, Tim's dad leaves him stranded away from Gotham with no way back. Jason finds him and brings him home

the ship of theseus: Jason-Centric, Percy Jackson crossover, Jason and Percy are secretly twins

Why They Shouldn't Have Social Media: Crack, Social media AU

Cracked Foundation:Soft, Jason&Damian, They get stuck under a collapsed building together

Monolith: Bruce&The Batfamily, The birds aren't known to the JL, The JL meeting each member of the Batfam for the first time

Loading and Aspect Ratio: SO GOOOOOOD, Batfamily, The bats use wing prothesis but everyone think they're metas

Three’s a Crowd (But I’m Here if You Are): Cute, Funny, TimBerKon

A Softer Gotham: Steph&Bruce, Steph-Centric, Steph time travels to a time before Batman, becoming Gotham's first vigilante

greatest of ease: Dick-Centric, POV Outsider, Dick Grayson as seen in the eyes of the people surrounding him

Yesterday's Voices: Bruce&Batkids, Bruce's memory of the past five years gets erased leaving behind a softer man, one who doesn't remember Jason's death

show me yesterday, for i can’t find today: Jason-Centric, Jason&The Batfam, Robin!Jason and Red Hood switch places

Eat Your Heart Out, Social Life (50k+ words)

Vultures, Squirrels, and Other Flying Menaces: So good, AU where instead of becoming Robin, Tim hires Deathstroke to kill Joker, leading to the assassin adopting him and the other Batkids.

I’m alone here, I think: TimKon, Witch Tim, Tim is erased from everyone's memories and leaves Gotham. Kon finds him anyways.

You, Me, and the Humanity in Between: Soft and sweet, Bruce&His kids, Non-Human Batkids

cards on the table: Tim-Centric, Tim&Batfam, Tim's parents fake their death and leave Tim behind. He uses his stalking skills to become a fortuneteller scammer. Against his will, he ends up befriending the Waynes

Roasted: Funny, Cute, Dick-Centric, Talon AU, Dick&Batfam, Recovered Talon Dick opens a coffee shop that ends up becoming Rogue-Vigilante neutral grounds

Code Bat: Batfam, The bats aren't known, they have an emergency code to only be used in emergency case when revealing affiliation is inevitable (idk how to explain but its good trust me)

Minimum Height Requirement: SOFT, Bruce&His kids, Batfam, Batman doesn't let his kids become vigilantes before they turn eighteen

Running Headlong into My Arms: Soft, No Capes AU, even without Batman, Bruce finds his family

Liminal Space: Tim-Centric, Tim&Bruce, Tim&Batfam, Tim ends up in a softer and kinder version of his world

Robins and Other Flightless Birds: Bruce-Centric, Bruce&His kids, A Batman without kids is visited by another version of himself. He finds tha he, too, wants kids.

Laughter Lines: JayRoy, Soft, Jason helps raise Lian, before and after his death

Stars of the Forgotten: Bruce-Centric, Meta!Batkids, Bruce&His kids, on the search for a missing Barbara Gordon, Batman stumbles upon five metahuman kids in need of a home

Latchkey: Sweet, Tim-Centric, Robin!Jason, BatWatch!Tim, The Waynes get concerned with their lonely neighbor, Tim Drake

Ain't No Compass, Ain't No Map: Funny, Tim&Jason, Borderline abandoned Tim Drake gets taken in by Crime Lord Red Hood. CPS tries investigating, with little results

And that's it for today. If you're still here, thank you so much and seriously, some of these are so good, so read them, trust me!

Sorry i took so long to get back to you, i had to organize the mess in my AO3 bookmarks and compiling this took me ages.

Let me know what you all think, and if you ever want more!!!! (Yes i have more. It's a problem)

[teddypines]

Fleep

------------------------------------------------------------

sumary: Y/N wanted something, she didn't have enough money, Jason being a sweetheart and buying it for Y/N.

Note: I really wanted this fleep, i don't have the money for a fleep, so we write about Y/N getting a fleep.

All credits for the fleep and bumble corn plushies go to Meg's Mashables. The picture above is their's too.

------------------------------------------------------------------

A little while back Y/N saw a tiktok of a fleep plushie, a sheep flamingo hybrid. Damian let her his phone to entertain her a bit. And the moment she saw it, she wanted it. She didn't know it was expensive. She thought she could use her pocket money from her piggy bank.

So finally after begging everyone for weeks to look up the fleep plushie. Jason finally helped her look it up, also because Damian was complaining about the constant fleep videos on his fyp. They looked and Y/N saw the price, looked at her money and cried. She couldn't get the fleep plushie.

Jason didn't think the plush would be this expensive. He hated seeing Y/N’s so upset. The 35 dollars plus shipping didn't seem like a lot to Jason, but to Y/N with a mere 13 dollars and 75 cents to her name, it was a lot. She understood she couldn't get it and just put her money away and sadly left Jason and his room. 

On impulse Jason bought the fleep plushie the moment Y/N left his room. He even bought the double pack with a bumble corn in it and stickers. He just couldn't see his baby sister so sad.

During dinner everyone knew and saw how upset Y/N over not being able to get the plushie she wanted. She did cry about it a bit more before bed, Bruce needing to hold her a bit longer then normal to calm her down. She did fell asleep after a while and lots of crying. Bruce hated this and quickly, but quietly left her room.

“We really need to do something about this, I hate seeing my princess like this” Bruce said as he made his Way to the living room. “No need, I already bought the plushie, and extra's” Jason said as he pulled up the order conversation. 

“When did you do that?” Tim asked as he looked at the bright pink plushie and the other blueish one. “Right after she left my room. I couldn't deal with those sad eyes. I need to see her happy again and if that means spending almost a 100 dollars and so be it.” Jason explained.

Dick rolled his eyes, but he knew he would have done the same for Y/N. Bruce sighed and sat on the couch with his boy's. “That is very sweet of you Jason, I was going to say we could let her do some chores, give her some extra money so she could buy it herself.” 

“That would have been the reasonable option, yes. But this is better” Jason answered, he was rather proud of his actions.

“We could also just have bought it and saved it until her birthday” Damian said out of nowhere. He looked up from his phone. “There were a lot of options, demon spawn, but I chose this option!” Jason hissed at his younger brother. He would have done the same for Damian if it ever were to happen, but he didn’t need to know that.

<---------------------------------------------------------------->

A few days went by with Y/N being sad, but it got better with time. Jason's order was still on the way and would probably still take a while. Steph saw the order Jason placed when Dick was explaining the story to Duke and the girls. Steph was the most proud of Jason, and thought Jason said he disliked the praise he secretly liked the praise. 

Damian on the other hand was still getting fleep tiktok videos on his fyp. It's been more than a month and they still showed up. They were hunting him and he hated it.

<-------------------------------------------------------->

Finally the day arrived that Alfred carried a big package into the living room. “For the young misses” Alfred said, already knowing what would be in the packages. Y/N was surprised as she looked at the big box. Both Dick and Duke were smiling as Y/N tried to open the package on her own.

“Why is it so big and hard to open!!” Y/N yelled out of frustration. She ripped some of the tape and the box was now open. “Ow… that was easy…” 

Y/N looked inside and froze before giggling in excitement. She grabbed the fleep first and then the bumble corn. Holding both plushies up to Dick and Duke while jumping in the air. “It's fleepy!! And the unibee!!”

“DADDY!!” Y/N yelled as she ran up the stairs towards Bruce's study. “Daddy! Look!” Y/N yelled as she bursted through the door. Scaring both Bruce and Tim as they were discussing bat business. “I fleep make with the Alfred mail!!” Y/N yelled as she waddled up to Bruce and Tim. She quickly settled onto Bruce's lap with the plushies In her arms. 

“Wow Princess, that is amazing. Did you order those yourself?” Bruce asked Y/N as Tim tried to hold back his laughter. Y/N froze for a moment and then got off Bruce's lap and ran towards Jason's room.

“JAY!!!” Y/N screamed at the top of her lungs. Jason quickly opened his door as Y/N crashed into his legs. Hugging him with both the plushies. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!” she kept saying over and over again. Jason smiled down at his baby sister and picked her up. “Anything for you Princess. Did you see the stickers and coloring books that came with it?” Y/N gasped and shook her head. “Well, let's go check those out.” Jason said as he carried a very happy Y/N down the stairs.

[spacedace]

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

—

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!”

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“…Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”