#i do feel better after that rant
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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do you guys ever have multiple projects or tasks you need to finish and have been putting off but the demotivation/depressive wave hits like a truck whenever you think about it? so you either can’t work on anything else out of stress, or you work on everything else out of a need to justify your own inability to do the original task?
ANYONE??? SOBBBBBB
#anyways hi chat i really want to write some fics#this is me craving to do anything but what i’m supposed to be doing#uh hi mini rant#if you ever feel incapable just remember that i exist and you’ll feel better🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶#ok but fr if anyone has fics they want written i’d consider it#i have a big thing i want to write but everything is so much work i’m not ready for that investment#also if you’re reading this#and you remember the dtiys#I SWEAR I HAVENT FORGOTTEN. i promise. and ill get to it. i’m so sorry#it’s causing me torment i need to change how i do dtiys after i complete that one crying#how does one stay on top of things but also protect their fragile motivation#kisses and hugs and pained screamed#you’ll see me posting more low effort things (as you have been) bcs iiiiiii#yeah#mwah#thank you to everyone who’s been so patient with me it means the world
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sorry him saying he has no idea where the misogyny thing comes from when ludwig just talked about how he sent him a big apology for calling his friend a whore when it was about THE WRONG WOMAN is funny as fuck
i dont think he realizes that the reason no one gives a shit about his apologies and honestly just straight up ignores them is because EVEN IN THE EVENT THAT THEY ARE TRUE he's been proven to lie soooooo many times to the point where you really cant believe a word that comes out of his mouth. he says something and im like "damn maybe i was wrong about that one... i'll look into it" and you get more info and go "oh. he just made that part up. and misworded that. and lied about that part... oh it was actually WORSE than i initially thought!"
#im sure tommy has done some dumb shit#i am MUCH more likely to believe he can change and grow as a person than you can 🧍#im willing to stick by him and watch him become a better person and own up to his mistakes#i have been trying so hard to see the good in you for like 4 years now and i just. cant. every time i think i might be wrong im right again#i HATE to bring it back to this bc it's such a non-issue and not very relevant but#the speedrun issue really was where he showed his true colors#the actual subject here doesnt matter im talking about the way he handled it. im still pissed off all this time later i'll never get over i#he cheats. BLATANTLY cheats. gets proven. sends his mob after the mods. denies everything#hires someone with all this money he has to say he didnt cheat (BUT THE GUY NEVER EVEN SAYS THAT HE JUST CLAIMS THE GUY SAYS IT)#(BC HE DOESNT EXPECT ANYONE TO ACTUALLY READ THIS DOC HE THINKS HIS SUMMARY IS ALL THAT MATTERS)#finds out he did cheat But On Accident (supposedly)#DOESNT SAY SHIT FOR MONTHS AND LETS EVERYONE CONTINUE TO HARASS THE MODS. GEO IS SUICIDAL#and then does a stream where he's like haha hey guys so umm i did an oopsie 😝 but i didnt cheat this isnt cheating it's just. lying!#anyways it doesnt matter bc this was so fun and i had a blast making content :) and besides it isnt a big deal anyways it's just a game :)#months of harassment didnt affect ME so you should be fine :D was a lot of fun thx guys :)#THAT SHIT was where i lost all respect for him#THAT was where i saw this same pattern every damn time#doesnt matter how big or small the issue is it's the same damn thing every single time#even when you're right. you've destroyed all your credibility by continuing this behavior!#yeah you're valid in thinking tommy downplaying your videos is just mean but. frankly i dont give a fuck!#you're probably right about a few other things too and again i just dont care!! he can change and grow and you never will!!!#i'm willing to give him a chance. you've had PLEEEEENTY of chances and havent taken a single one#chat#discourse#i guess? idk this is the only angry rant i'll do. i feel bad might as well add to it lmao
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finally got my pics back from the lil shoot i did at the japanese gardens earlier this month c: i honestly didnt know what other pose to do but other than that i think these look super cool! it’s my very first cosplay as well so i’m still figuring out how to be photographed and stuff
#tbh i don’t like my double chin though#i was considering editing it out but i decided against it. i feel like it would be disrespectful towards myself to do so#i’m still learning how to be phtographed in a way i’m satisfied with & i shouldnt be so hard on myself for not figuring it out immediately#i’m allowed to feel proud of these and want to show these off despite not thinking i look perfect or 100% like the character#though to make myself feel better i do hc maya as a bit chubby. she does love burgerd after all#anyway sappy emotional rant over#tuna stuff#ace attorney#ayasato mayoi#maya fey#ace attuna#gyakuten saiban#cosplay#ace attorney cosplay
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having a lavellan who is kind of an absolute demon in her own right is so much fun because sure that cut content of "oh solas didnt deserve a happy ending but lavellan did" is lovely and worth centering in the conversation.... but you know what else hits? "oh my god i dont even care anymore" "if this is what it takes for them to both fucking LEAVE thedas then good riddance"
#datv#oc: ashara#datv spoilers#insane rant incoming. this is very much abt ashara but like i hope u can all see the vision for lavellans in general#bc honestly... i am such a big fan of lavellans who ALSO deserve some fade prison time . JDFGJHKDFG#like obviously she could NEVER deserve it as much as solas and the evanuris do. but like. maybe a LITTLE... womens rights womens wrongs !!!#ashara having the potential to heal solas by being the inverse of mythal. everything mythal was NOT#........while still matching his own personal freak by several concerning markers😍#up until trespasser the inquisitor truly WAS one of the closest things this world had to a demigod. w all the power/authority#- and loss of personhood - that comes with it. and the inevitable OVERREACH.... the meddling in affairs that effect the world at large...#unwittingly setting in motion things that ruin lives! destroy cities and communities and worse! and u cant even stop to rectify it#bc ur too integral to the Big Picture. that bright clear line from A to B... stuck up on that lonely towering pedestal you were forced onto#cant get down now girl its too far to fall !!!!!#mistake after mistake after mistake... just like solas....#i love the line ''you two were good for each other'' that rook can say in act 3 bc yeah lavellan can fix solas but like#maybe solas could fix lavellan too. theyre BOTH better together. their spirits mirror and adapt.... IDK !!! IDK! !!!! FOOD FOR THOUGHT!!!!#i think its why i personally am able to enjoy the ending more than others might. bc if ashara was more blameless i'd feel worse for her#but tbh as it stands........... well. gestures to the crimes.#anyway this whole convo is irrelevant ultimately bc it quite literally wont be terrible if theyre together <3
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REGGIE IS TO VINH WHAT VINH WAS TO SAFI SO TRUE!!! and i think this concept is fascinating because the solution isn’t ‘maybe love this person you don’t love’ but it’s to move on instead and respect yourself more. i’ll never understand the weird vinh x reggie stuff pulled at the end of the game … what happened to them being ‘bad’ for each other ?? i do not mind vinh realizing how poorly he’s treated people and trying to be better, especially after his safi revelation, but i don’t understand how this immediately equals romantic love ??? anyway. sorry. your opinions are amazing as always, and i’m so glad someone else has a similar view of them
NEVER APOLOGIZE KING UR ALWAYS CORRECT AND YOUR OPINIONS R ALWAYS RIGHT!!
#but YEAH it really felt sooo left field#ik weve talked about it but again it really really feels like a punishment that reggie gets pissed off at you#surely reggie knows vinh fucks around with a lot of people?#why did reggie NEED to b there for that kiss...... dont get it. i just dont get it#also its entirely possible max doesnt even know like for sure they had anything going on#and any other confirmation comes AFTER the kiss and max is like oh. heheheh..... ooopsss guess i stole ur (not) man#like if u take a glimpse at Vinh's phone i think thats the only REAL confirmation theyve fucked around#otherwise its just reggie posting thirtsy comments under anything relating to vinh 💀💀💀#and vinh brushing him off or just straight up ignorin it LMAOOO#but yeah. vinhs road to betterment and reggies road to self respect do not and should not cross. in my humble (not so humble) opinion#LOVE reggie LOVE vinh but good god those losers shouldnt be together#anywayyys thanx for lettin me rant bestie <333#LIS#Life is Strange: Double Exposure#Vinh Lang#Reggie Kagan#[ 🗣 ]#[ 🐇 ]#[ RJ ]
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I think everyone needs to come together and congratulate DBK (and the rest of the Demon Bull family) for being the only ones to just give up. They DID quit while they were ahead. It's the only reason they're still alive.
#honestly they'd be dead like Spider Queen LBD (if she IS dead) and Azure Lion if they hadn't lol#LIKE. GIRL THEY SAVED THEMSELVES FROM THE NARRATIVE#HOW DID THEY DO THAT#The answer is they stopped trying to live past the end of their myth. They accepted the world as is.#And they run man. They run and after they failed a second time they just like#Went back to their house and stopped#which is really based of them.#Now they eat popsicles on the beach with Wukong and Co! Objectively better outcome#more antagonists should learn from them if they want to stay alive (yellowtusk) (maybe peng but I have a feeling no)#(peng out here with his ''The world could use a little chaos!'' bullshit. Okay. You said the c-word dude that's not good)#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk rant#imp tag
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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nope nope nope not candace flynn slander showing up on twitter!! why must we go over this every time? Canonically, Candace Flynn:
loves her brothers
cares more about protecting them than busting them
...actually has a leg to stand on ngl. her little brothers literally build spaceships and roller coasters. you'd want to tell on them too.
cares about her friends
suffers a lot. have u seen that girl. have you seen what she's been through.
helped save christmas (!!) like actually!!
Santa was literally in an episode and they didn't interact, but there was never an indicator that she was on the naughty list. I'm so tired of these only-child-ass Candace Flynn takes when she is SUCH an interesting character and feels very real as an older sister. Candace's relationship with her brothers is one of the most important parts of the show. They're not "gaslighting" her and she's not of evil fun-hating monster. They're siblings who love each other
Also, I know this is just a random twitter account and it's not even Christmas, but. They literally put Doof on the nice list. Which I do agree with, but come on! God forbid teenage girls do anything I guess
#it's like 3 am what am i doing actually. ranting on a tumblr i barely even use rn about a twitter gimmick account#anyways i am gonna come back just uh#after finals#candace flynn#phineas and ferb#pnf#also that cropping is such a hack job like damn get a better screenshot for starters#sklee if you see this...... feel free to add on i guess
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to put a long story short: at the end of ffxiv's base game, literally Directly before the beginning of its first expansion (heavensward), there is a series of quests and story arcs that eventually snowball into an hour-long cutscene in which the entire thing comes to a head in the literal worst way possible. like, "the hero's plans all go horribly wrong and several major characters die onscreen, with others going missing (presumed dead), eventually culminating in the player character being framed for the murder of the leader of a nation-state and being Literally Forced To Flee The Country" wrong.
heavensward leads directly on from this plotline. you arrive at the major location of the expansion in the midst of seeking asylum whilst being a wanted criminal everywhere else in the world right now. it's like. A Whole Thing. the game makes such a big deal out of it all. the fandom does as well. and for good reason!! it's a really good moment!!!!!!
and then roughly 1/3rds of the way into heavensward you find out that literally none of it mattered. nobody important actually died, no changes were actually made to the status quo, and nothing comes of being literally kicked out of the country for (what is implied to be) several in-universe weeks, if not months. None Of It Mattered. None.
TLDR; the bloody banquet is a major, exciting, and very infamous twist that seems like it's going to segway into a MAJOR upheaval of the status quo and some really intriguing ramifications for the story as a whole... and then heavensward does away with literally all of that and practically writes the entire thing off as a waste of time.
you may be able to see why i'm so salty about it.
#also worth noting that the nation-state leader (who's death was The one you were framed for)#was assassinated specifically because she was trying to reform her country's merchantile incredibly corrupt leadership system#into a more bearable democracy that would give voice to the people instead of the greedy scumbags currently in power#one of the members of the syndicate (a group of rich people who at this point have more power than the sultana- her)#tried to kill her bc. well. obviously reformation would mean they wouldnt be in control anymore.#and so her supposed death is the big crux of the bloody banquet#and then. THEN. heavensward goes OUT OF ITS WAY to reveal she is not only ALIVE AND PERFECTLY FINE#(she got drugged with the classic fantasy eternal sleep that looks like death medication)#but that her plan for reformation was ACTIVELY STUPID. she DOESN'T GET TO DO IT. NOTHING ABOUT THE STATE OF UL'DAH CHANGES#THE GAME JUST TELLS YOU BETTER GUYS ARE IN CHARGE NOW AND EXPECTS YOU TO BE FINE WITH THAT?#AS THOUGH THE ORIGINAL PLAN TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM ENTIRELY WAS THE FLAWED PART OF THIS EQUATION?#god. i hate it so much. if you're not gonna change the status quo at least have the balls to kill off a character for christ's sake#i can rant abt it all day. it's just such a travesty on every level#yin-thoughts#ffxiv#also for the record ''bloody banquet'' is a fan term. the whole thing isnt called anything in-universe iirc#it's just a catchy title for an infamous sequence wherein people die at a banquet. you know how it be#it's just. god. something about it is just so utterly vile. the game all but looks nanamo (and to some extent the player) in the eyes#and goes How Dare You Try And Change The System. You're Stupid For Thinking This Could Work.#it feels so disingenuous and mean spirited and now the entire thing just leaves the worst possible taste in my mouth#and it SUCKS. because the bloody banquet scene itself is INCREDIBLE. but the way the game handles it after it happens is just#so bad!! it's so bad!!!! aughhhh it's so so so so so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the ffxiv writers are so in love with preserving the norm and so terrified of changing it up and/or killing off established characters#ive ranted abt it before and knowing myself i'll rant about it many a time again. it just sucks man#ffxiv crit
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“if nothing ever happens again” “if this is the end..” shut up shut up SHUT UP.....they took the blows and did it their way....in the face of oppression say fuck you.....GET UP COWARD..... UNKILLABLES.....ARE YOU NOT SEEING IT......
#*charlie day board meme.jpg*#wow anna said something#this cant be the end like fr#the dichotomy of 'yes it conforts me much more to lay in the foundations of decay* to the roaring "GET UP COWARD*....this is the song they#chose to come back with clearly abt their journey (ignore the beggining of the next tag)#and their journey.....nothing is a coincidence with them HOW COULD THEY STOP NOW....THEY'VE NEVER BEEN BETTER#THEY'RE REVIVED WITH A NEW SPARK A NEW FIRE THERE'S LIFE PULSING THROUGH MCR AGAIN DO YOU NOT SEE IT#FOR ONCE THEY'RE ACTUALLY GENUINELY HAVING A GOOD TIME WHILE REAPING THE PRAISE THEY DESERVE FROM THIER PEERS#*THEIR#AFTER BEING OSTRACIZED FOR BEING A VOICE FOR THE OUTCASTS THEY FEEL STRONGER THAN EVER#mcr#i cant keep ranting in the tags bc ill run out but just know i have a lot of feelings abt this#my chemical romance#anna's shitposts#mcr return#mcr reunion tour#mcrosaka#txt#oh noooo my tags got ruined hold on#tags got ruined again hold up#Greatest hits
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sometimes i forget that people on here don’t know i’m visually impaired/legally blind, or that that’s even a thing with people with albinism (i’m actually like…blind. not in the “oh haha i’m like a bat, i can’t see the board!”, it’s the “i’m never going to be able to get a drivers license unless it’s extremely, extremely limited to daytime and two lane highways only, needs an iep, can’t read less than size 24 font without squinting, reads braille because my eyes get tired, can’t see snow/rainfall, can’t see 3d, can barely see my keyboard” kind of way) so when i try to make a blind joke it doesn’t hit as hard as it does if you know me irl. sigh.
#misc#maybe it’s my sign to stop making an ass out of myself#whatever i don’t believe in signs#i do know braille tho#like it’s not the quirky “lol so blind” thing#i genuinely cannot see#idk how to explain my vision either since i don’t have normal people vision#so it’s hard to compare to smth you’re not accustomed to#i dunno this is a ramble#ok the driving thing is complicated#technically…i can kinda sorta drive#if i wear my contracts AND glasses AND and extra set of glasses with a bionic in it#and i’d have to go through tests to see if even that works—and even then i have to go in front of a driving judge to see if they approve it#and if it got approved then i’d still have to go to “special” drivers ed#and at the end of all of that my license would be limited to daytime and no more than two lane highways#BUT i can’t even try that because if all went according to plan i’d lose my services and iep#so i’d have to wait til after college#which given all of that…it’s not worth it#sure i feel like an idiot riding the bus in my junior year and needing to be picked up from clubs (and i’ll feel worse my senior year)#but i guess its better than getting my services repealed#this turned into a rant#…oops#i’m really insecure abt not being able to drive mb lol#i mean get at least i’ll never have to be designated driver—and the school can’t take my nonexistent license for “low grades”#ignore the tags this is a ramble abt my personal insecurities-—i’ve never ranted abt the visual side effects of albinism 😭#alaska’s irl bullshit
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just got past the fairygrounds again and. do you think they forgot oliver almost mcfucking drowned because like. if i was an autistic 13 year old that got launched into a river out of a mountain-high cannon with confetti and a shitload of fairies yelling about it right after fighting a massive jellyfish i'd be freaking the hell out. like logically i know they probably couldn't have made that go done how it probably would have but Man
TRUEEEE i think level 5 forgot everything about oliver when they were making wotww. and i think everyone should go play dotdd
#this is hyperbole oliver's character is still done. well.#before i played dotdd i thought he was perfect and a really well done character and i still think the latter#but now that i have played dotdd.#he's just so much better in dotdd that now looking at wotww oliver it's like .................. you're TOO perfect.#like they filed him down. he's too nice.#and i think it really shows in the segments of wotww that aren't in dotdd (like the fairyground)#where they DO forget he'd probably have some kind of reaction to the river!#and while i LIKE the choice for him to leave drippy behind it feels a little weird to me#because if i imagine dotdd oliver doing it it doesn't feel right.#meanwhile during the dotdd arc that the fairyground replaced#oliver physically cannot contain his laughter at esther and swaine arguing after just making up five seconds ago#and it's SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER MOMENT because it does multiple things it first of all shows oliver falling in love with ni no kuni#and their journey#and second of all it shows he has a terrible poker face. which is a known character trait. he's blunt and can't lie to save his life.#anyway. my point is dotdd oliver >>>>>>>>>>>> wotww oliver#ask#sorry for the tags rant but it's typed in here now so i'm not putting it in the main body
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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Technically I am fluent in French but my reading comprehension… not the best especially with older texts.
Anyways to the point, I was rereading Barbot’s version of beauty and the beast (she’s the original author but also that’s subjective since you could argue she based it off off east of the sun west of the moon and that that was based off Eros and Psyche) and because my French isn’t perfect I admittedly misunderstood a lot of smaller parts of the plot.. but from that I got such an interesting concept
Essentially when Beauty is in the castle she starts having dreams about this handsome “Unknown” man and she falls in love with him. He is of course the beast and I knew this but there was a passage where Beauty is thinking about her unknown and her mirror (the one that she watches plays from (so real of her) (she’s a theatre kid like me) (she probably does other stuff with the mirror) (that I just missed) (since again 1740s French)) and for a while I interpreted that as the “Unknown” being like a mirror version of the beast
And then it got me thinking of if the unknown was the pre curse beast. Like still narcissist and egotistical. Which could be such an interesting beauty and the beast adaptation/ retelling
#rant sry#I lowkey want to make a script for this#let me tell you how lost I was when it switched to telling the beasts backstory#because I just did not realize#and I was so confused why it was suddenly in first person#and there was a second fairy#but it wasn’t made clear#and I thought they were the same person#I want someone to incorporate this for Rosabella’s character#also rosabella is a lot like barbot’s beauty#ik I always give shit about eah beauty copying Disney#but literally the only difference is that Rosabella probably wouldn’t go to the castle#since she feels she has better things to do with her time#beauty and the beast#ever after high#Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve#Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot#eah#Rosabella beauty
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
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[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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