#i didn't say it was gonna be happy LOL
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Mark Alan, Count of Queanbeyan
+ explanation & lore
Okay first I'll explain the drawing itself, and then go into Mark's lore a bit, so stay with me!!!
First of all, yep. Mark with long hair. When I first conceptualized how he'd look in this au, I just genuinely could not imagine him with the typical long curly wig. And that irked me, bcs its just sooooooo historically inaccurate for him to have had short hair, no wig. I sketched him and Jense out as chibis, I drew Mark with short hair, and literally wrote "haha wow he looks so bad with long hair!!" Hello, can I take back that statement? It's actually shocking how good he looks???? Maybe it's a testament to my skill that I could make this work. But I did! And man, shameful to admit, but this might be my best portrait ever 😭😭 Funny tho, guy I've barely drawn, and never as detailed as this, ends up being one of my favs. Mark, you bastard!!
^ lmao as you can see, I tried out a more Seb type wig and then realized ahhhhh nah, he needs a different style. And it worked so, yay!!! I've thought a lot recently, "man it would suck back then if you looked shitty in a wig" and I rescind that. I'm telling you, you think a man would look bad in a wig? I say think again, you're just not conceptualizing the right type of wig for him.
Also wow, its crazy thst I can finally actually visually see what he would look like next to others like Seb and Fernando in this au. Hehehe look at them!!! The boys!!!! Just need Jense :,)
Anyways, I digress, some lore notes about Mark since I don't think I've really talked about him in this au on main much.
He is, of course, Seb's closest servant. His Groom of the Bedchamber(yes that term makes me feel rabid.) He's actually also based on a real guy, whom was described as the Emperor's "favorite" and despite not technically having very important positions, he had a lot of influence because of his closeness and connection with the Emperor. So, yeah, I think that's gives a pretty good pic of Mark in this au :)
He's actually pretty satisfied with his role, but he does feel a bitter and jealous when interacting with others like Jenson and Fernando. Because Mark doesn't have a title, well not in the same way. He's a count, not a King, not a Prince. Yes he's nobility, but not in the same way. And he's satisfied being under Seb, because that's what Mark was raised to do, take care of and keep Seb in line. But often realizes he's never going to be on par with him, not in the same way Fernando can, even if he's Seb's closest confidant.
To build on that. He's very satisfied with his role, and even continues to be satisfied when Fernando comes into the picture. Fernando and Seb don't get along, Mark is always going to be the closest to Seb, always going to know him the best, take care of him the best. But he realizes, he would never get to marry Seb, he's not ranked high enough for that. He was raised to do what's best for the Emperor, he's never going to be able to compete with Seb the same way Fernando can. He really wants Seb and Fernando to succeed! To grow closer! But it still really hurts sometimes.
His closest friend, other than Seb, is Jenson of course(and eventually Fernando, after they stop growling at each other like they're Seb's dogs.) But he does get bitter about Jenson sometimes. Jenson is a prince, who had some great performances in battle. But eventually got tired of that lifestyle, and "retired" to being part of Seb's court. Mark can't really understand that. How do you throw that level of prestige and freedom away. How do you just become the Emperor's servant, when that was never what you were born for. But also, I think Jense definitely uplifts him, they just get along so well, and Jense truly cares for him, no other motives :)
LOL sorry I realize how depressing this sounds 😭 I think all of the above is just Mark at his most bitter, but he's genuinely pretty happy. Think of the whole "not bad for a number 2 driver thing", that's him in this AU. He knows his station, and god damn it, he's gonna be the best, most loyal groom there ever was!! He just cares for Seb so deeply, and it truly is his life path to serve him. Seb cares for him too, feels like he can always rely on him and always be reassured by him and his eternal presence in Seb's life. It's nice to have someone you can always fall back on. Sometimes literally. Yes he makes Mark carry him to bed.
Not to stray away from just Mark, but aaaaahhh the Martian in this AU. Just Mark having to put up with Seb's brattiness all the time, and care for him all the time :) He's so tired of catching Seb naked tho...Seb please put clothes on, this is not befitting of your station. Seb takes Mark with him everywhere, and they share the same bed on trips. Mark is always the first Seb goes to to ask his opinion. I said earlier that Mark feels like he cannot challenge Seb in the same way Fernando can, but Seb really wants him to honestly! He loves hearing Mark's thoughts and opinions. Mark is widely known as Seb's favorite, and is often seen as the second authority in the palace and in the court.
As for Webbonso? I think they really dislike each other in the beginning just because the roles that they're in. They both feel like they're pitted against each other, and ir doesn't help that Seb loves to tease them and often favor one in front of the other(he later realizes how shitty this is, and tries to rectify it, because he never intended to make them actually jealous, he just loves being bratty.) Eventually they realize they're in extremely similar situations(both beholden to and stuck eternally with the Emperor), and find comfort in each other in that.
Yep that's right...the palace is honestly one big polycule djkfkglg. But I hope thay explains Mark in this AU well enougg???? All you need to know: Seb's long-suffering servant.
#heres mark in a wig. if thats your thing! a thing that. no one asked for :)#BUT WAAAAAHHHHH MAN IM SO PROUD OF THIS HONESTLY#how the fuck does he look so handsome???????#i never in a million years thought this wouldve worked. but yep! it does!#but i will say. bro looks like he should be on a dollar bill dhfkkglv#okay anyways yes i understand that this is extremely niche and very confusing to anyone outside my circle#but i hope you like it even if not????? im super proud of this one 🤭🤭#my first time rly drawing him honestly. every other time has been chibis or an obstructed view#BUT THIS. THREW MYSELF INTO THE DEEP END. and i didn't drown!#gotta draw jense next. and his silly bicorn hat. cause hes that kinda guy#i was gonna put mark and jense together. but man i hate keeping art to myself that i finished already#im proud of it! must click post! no hoarding!! or ill never post it lol#aaaahh man im getting drawing men im surprised#im so happy w his expression. w his squiggly eyebrows. he looks very introspective#f1#formula 1#mark webber#boy king au#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#*sometimes I realize. man if i just took away the historical clothing and wigs and stuff#my art would have such a wider appeal 😭😭#but then i realize. nah i dont give a shit. i draw what i want!!! and you guys will take 1700s Mark and you will LIKE IT
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PHIGHTER 15!!!!!!!! don't know much about the game tbh LOL! i just watch my friends play it and follow their hype. love the characters in that game though, even if i don't really know much about their personalities or lore or anything. but coil got announced today!!! i love their design so so much so i HAD to draw this like IMMEDIATELY. hope you like it!
#again i know like NOTHING about this game and i'm definitely not gonna be a phighting artist sorry not sorry LOL#so here's my little gift to all of you guys out there. a couple of sprinkles on your ice cream. (unless u don't like sprinkles of course!)#used that new paintrbush i made on krita that i hopefully talked about in my last post? hopefully.#but if i didn't at least you can see it way more clearly here!#save me texture brushes.... texture brushes..... texture brushes save me..... /REF#but either way i'm really happy with this actually!#even if i tried to keep my normal crazy ass rendering to a minimum lol#trying to get better at colouring without relying so heavily on like 40 different blending mode layers.#i'd say i'm doing a pretty good job!#but anyways enough of my ramblings#i gotta get outta here! /REF#so have a great day!#my art#digital art#art#fanart#phighting#coil phigthing#phighting fanart
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hey
#so i've been dealing with some irl stuff recently#nothing too bad. it was just really frustrating and exhausting for me. and really putting a damper on my mood and my art#and i'm sorry if i've been acting a little weird or not saying too much or anything#or if i've been kinda inactive for the past few days#but i'll be okay!#i just wanted to let you guys know what's been kinda going on#i'm slowly working on something really sweet involving Hugo and Noa. so that's been making me feel better#i need something happy and soft between them lol#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!#the writing is kinda stupid and almost all of the characters act like they don't have a brain. but that's what makes it so fun!#and i'm pretty sure the devs did that intentionally. to make it seem more like a campy monster flick#i'm really enjoying it so far! the werewolves are really cool!#also it's really funny to me how they just pop like balloons whenever they're transforming#i thought it was gonna be a slow transformation. but no. their skin just immediately explodes off#and then they somehow get it all back when they turn back into humans? idk how that works but it's pretty rad#also also! the thing with the tarot cards is really cool!#i missed a lot in the beginning because i didn't know what i was looking for#and the fortune teller lady in between chapters kept getting mad at me for not finding any#but i eventually started to get it! when the game decided to really put one in my face in chapter 3 lol#and the thing with the tarot cards representing the different characters in the game got me thinking about what card Noa would probably be#i think Seven of Swords would be right up her alley#because it's associated with deception. dishonesty. betrayal. and acting strategically#and it could also signify self-deception and confessions. which is all very true for her character#aaahh now i wanna make a tarot card design for her!#but that's an idea for another day#anyway sorry for sorta rambling a bit#i hope you all are doing okay
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Ce n'est pas de John Jackson qu'il faut attendre grand intérêt pour Diderot, Stendhal ou même Flaubert, mais ce courant qui ne sait guère la poésie n'est pas en France aussi vaste qu'on pourrait croire, il y a souvent chez nos prosateurs, aussitôt en cela les plus musiciens, les plus grands, le besoin de réparer dans leurs propres œuvres les dégâts que la prosodie dite classique du vers régulier et de la rime à outrance a causés dans la sensibilité poétique, et de Rousseau à Proust en passant par Chateaubriand ou Nerval l'étude de quelques-uns de ces poètes de la prose est aussi la voie qu'a suivie John Jackson dans nombre de ses essais, voie proche d'une autre où il rencontre Hölderlin ou d'autres aspects du romantisme allemand.
if i may just whimper pathetically for a second. first of all this one sentence, which could very easily be made into three sentences, is 128 words long. secondly there's a comma splice (which is allowed in formal written french but definitely makes things harder to parse). thirdly it took me like ten minutes to figure out that the subject of "a causés" is "la prosodie" because i missed the "de" before "la rime" and so thought the subject of "a causés" was the plural "la prosodie et la rime", which is not the writer's fault except insofar as it is easier to miss a word when there are 128 of them. fourthly that "et de Rousseau à Proust" is really rude because, coming after a comma instead of in a new sentence, the "de" feels like it should be referring back to the last de in the main clause, which was "le besoin de", but that doesn't make any fucking sense, and you have to wait several more words to find "l'étude", which isn't even set off by a comma. fifthly the "sentences" (not pictured) directly before and after this one are not actually sentences as none of them contain a main verb, something also allowed in written french but imo really rude to do in excess. this guy is like "a sentence is EITHER five sentences in a trenchcoat OR a lone noun phrase (with subordinate clauses of course)." dude can we not just split the difference. i'm suffering here.
sixthly even after eventually managing to parse the syntax i still had no idea what he was saying because i confused réparer with repérer. that's one's definitely on me though.
#this is from the preface of les fleurs du mal. everyone who voted for that one in the poll i hope you're happy#there's like 60 pages of preface and introduction so by the time i get to the actual poetry i'm gonna be so fucking done with prose#not that poetry is EASIER to parse lmao#well we shall see.#french#my posts#syntax#i'm not even saying this guy has broken any of the rules of formal written french. i don't think he has. the problem is that#the rules of formal written french are not conducive to the production of sentences that make any fucking sense to me lol#the one convention that helps is that of basically paraphrasing what you just said#which is helpful because if i didn't understand the first time maybe i will the second time lol#but also makes everything much longer than it strictly needs to be for my anglophone sensibilities#because in english conciseness is a lot more valued than it is in french#so i'm also not saying it's french's fault...it's the conflict between what french prioritizes and what i am used to#i wish this were three sentences (at least) instead of one but i also understand that the connection and flow within a single sentence#is valued in french. it's just HARD FOR ME TO FOLLOW!!!!!#also a me problem. I GUESS
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Snuggling near the fire
Click for better quality
#dexdark#dexter's laboratory#dexter's lab#dexter#mandark#I AM SO HAPPY TO FINALLY POST THIS LOL#near christmas time for them and they're currently hunting down ole saint nick but dex fell asleep and mandark is taking care of him#ty cherry for the inspiration of just mandark staring lol i kept thinking back to it and it got added lol#earlier that day they played in the snow and made a snowman and mandark stole his gloves the snowman lmao good luck finding them later#mandark also put sticks together to replicate the M on his hair#psst they're newly weds that year by the way. their rings >:3 it's not on the correct hands because i wanted it shown loll#i love the fire so much i wanted it to look good this year since last year i wasn't too confident to even make one#monkey didn't get one a stocking because he spent christmas with that agent instead#mandark makes his own wrapping paper and ornaments it just wasn't shown#blanket is important to me later haha that feels like a spoiler...#the pictures in the back was originally be a marriage photo and a protrait of ducky but they were quickly changed to another drawing i made#and sims 4 photo i have of them. that idea was my sister's in order not to spend too much energy on the drawing#i think the atom tree topper is gonna be a reoccurring item i just really like it and there's lord vader's helmet in there too!#mandark's sweater says “I'll deck your halls.”#dexdarkholidayevent2023#dexdarkmas2023#flame draws
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#okay I'm gonna get a bit personal here lmao#so i used to have a childhood best friend whom I've known basically since he was born lmao (he's 4 years younger)#he's always been like a little brother to me and we used to be inseparable until like 11 years ago#and then the friendship stopped sooo abruptly basically from one day to another#and i literally have no idea to this day why#i mean idk at that point those 4 years were a BIG gap me being 15 and him 11#but I'm not sure if that was it or if his parents didn't like it or some completely different reason#we're actually neighbors and it's crazy to me that we haven't had any in person interaction since then#we say hello if we see each other and wish each other a happy birthday online but that's it#and today me and my dad went over to the neighbors because..#(well I'm not gonna elaborate here because there was some police action in the neighborhood and i felt like i was in an action movie#and that's what brought the neighbors together whatever it's a long story)#and he was there and i realized i miss him lmao#i mean I've always missed him i never stopped missing our friendship#and i really really wanna reach out and say “hey you wanna grab coffee some time?” and just catch up#but I'm scared lol#like what if he says no#what if he doesn't wanna do anything with me#idk the rejection would feel awful a second time#am i being irrational here am i overthinking#maaaan idk#i never share anything too personal here so this feels weird lol#personal
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excerpts from the Lambda Literary Award winning 2 Trans 2 Furious: an extremely serious journal of Transgender Street Racing Studies
#2 trans 2 furious#not even half the entries sampled here & not even hitting all my personal particular faves#something to say about Everything. including like bonus materials / interstitials lol#they keep emphasizing to every contributor to consider themself a lammy award winner too. okay! and with my ao3 hugo#X WILL STILL. BE. DRIVING. i was still learning about the concept of mattering; so i didn't push the issue of basic respect at the time.#always a wink and a laugh. always a scowl and an exit. always a thing. always not a big deal; really. never a burden. never burdened.#cool-tempered yet hot-headed. jason statham will call my dad a pussy in fast 12. can't wait to find out why they were gonna kill that baby#cam stone#fast & furious crossroads#ya never know. happy pride
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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so sad for absolutely no reason
#👆 girl who stayed up till 3 am talking to her bestfriend about how depressed and trapped we both are for about 4 hrs#it's like that gracie lyric#you have to laugh before you start to cry😭😭#like ab toh funny bhi nahi lag raha jokes bhi nahi banaye ja rahe#oh but i love her so much i absolutely LOVE people with whom i can just be sad#im tired of people who constantly try to make the sadness go away or try to cheer me up#like sometimes you just gotta sit with your feelings na#at one point she was ranting and i said mere paas kuch kehne ke liye bhi nahi hai kyunki it literally feels like im listening#to my own thoughts on my own lying in bed at 2 am like hum itna same kaise sochte hai😭#and she laughed and was like but ye sahi hai na aise sochna like it feels wrong but it's the truth and im like i don't even#know but oh it's so good to not pretend to be okay#we're so similarly hopeless and tired cause like one point mein inevitably we talked about#the future living together our apartment and then i was like mujhe bhi ye chahiye but mujhe itni umeed uth chuki hai life se#ki koi excitement bhi nahi aa rahi like i already know ye sab kuch nahi hone wala and she's like haina same like i want to say#ki we'll do this and that but im like lol not gonna happen ab i can't look forward to things in the future im like if im living it then ok#then i can accept ki oh ok this is really happening im happy now wow but usse pehle nope#and we were talking about ki like yaar future toh ab dikhta hi nahi hai kya hoga it all feels so blurry and like a dark tunnel#atleast bachpan se we knew what was next school college but now it's like now what?#i know all these thoughts and feelings are pretty common and probably everyone's facing this but bhai.#it's fucking hard i didn't know life was gonna be like a constant battle where it kicks you down#again and again and again and you're bloody and no energy can't get up but you still have to because if you don't you'll sink#soooo deep in that state ki bahar nikal hi nahi paoge#OKAY 8 hrs sleep mandatory for me what the fuck why am i writing a ventpost at freaking 11 am girl go have lunch or something 😭
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I know I spent the last month of my last semester crying and complaining about it like a little baby but I'm *SO* happy to go back to uni tomorrow :)
#this semester i'm gonna make sure not to start a new job during my midterm/finals that's probably gonna help lol#i'm less happy about redoing medieval philosophy but oh well it is what it is#i didn't even disliked the class per say i just went to the exams and realized i had litterally not understood a single thing lmao#i actually found a tutor tho so that should help a lot#but yeah i'm really happy to go back to school
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WE JUST GOT THE VOLUME 23 COVER?!!!
NOT ONLY IS THERE OUR ANGEL KENJI BUT ALSO CHUUYA. I REPEAT WE GOT VAMPIRE CHUUYA ON THE COVER
#atsushi ily#aku's also there but I don't care for him as much#at first I didn't know who was the person behind atsushi lol#he's so <333#AND CHUUYA GOD#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd 23#bsd cover#also if anyone's interested I got this photo from the trailer!#hope this is the final cover 😭🙏🏻#I can die happy now. Esp that Sigma's animated#bsd season 4 trailer#edit: hmmm some people say it could be Jules Verne and not Kenji and omg 👀 THAT'D BE SO COOL IF HE WAS INTRODUCED TO THE MANGA#tho I still think it's Kenji as he plays a big role in this volume#edit 2: I saw sb saying that it's kinda scary how Chuuya and Aku are grey... Yes it is scary I'm scared now#it's gonna be okay 😄👍🏻
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"i know we shouldn't be killing rhea and i personally am against it and my gut tells me this is wrong but i'll do it anyway because nobody else uses logic on this route anyway!"
#DCB Three Hopes Run#this is no thoughts head empty route so she's just going to blindly trust claude who has faced plenty of pushback#for his decisions and go ahead with helping him and the others kill rhea for reasons they have zero and sometimes negative evidence of#like rly why wouldn't she just be like hmm I don't agree with this can I sit this one out. nope she's gonna get involved anyway#it would've been more interesting if marianne disagreed and grew backbone and sided with the church instead#they try to write the routes as like... everyone is happy with their leader (unless you're dimitri#bc then felix gets to talk shit for half the game in houses and ppl ate it up like pie)#and they don't ask questions. when they do ask questions it's a brief answer that just shoots it down#even lorenz in gw saying they should just leave edelgard for dead was ignored#for all the proper reasoning he gave everyone else just went lol you're like (edelgard or claude depending on your choice)!!!#and then went on about the uwu classmate thing (even tho they didn't rly even know each other at all in this game as classmates#and by the timeline edelgard left the monastery before even the lions so she was around them the least amount of time)#like... actual reasoning in this game gets shot down so fast so it's no wonder marianne didn't actually DO anything#and didn't stick by her actual feelings/beliefs but it's still annoying that she didn't#maybe it would've made claude and friends think twice abt the whole thing if they had to cut marianne down too#for refusing to go along with it bc she she didn't believe it was the right thing to do
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fiance got me a kindle for my birthday <3
#val comes out of hiding#with a case and a grip strap (that interferes a little with the case but i'm making it work lol)#it'll be great for my arthritic sad poor hands lmao#and i can download ebooks to it! including fic <3#so like i have backup copies of my bookmarks and i threw them all on there#and threw one I planned to read on there too which i rb'd a few mins ago#it's great because we tend to be into those huge fantasy novels that I 0% can hold and take up a shit ton of space#like bringing brando sando books with me while traveling has been a PAIN lmao#now all i need is a battery pack to make sure it doesn't die. which is its own downside of course#and it means I can pirate so many ebooks. my god so many.#anyway to start with i think i'm gonna go back thru and re-read all my bookmarked fics i haven't read in a while#i'm quite stingy about bookmarks so they're all good (tho i have a soft spot for fluff in hindsight lol)#maybe i'll make a detailed rec post when i'm done?#in regards to fic too though I need to reach out to someone and say sorry for not being a very responsible beta.you know who you are.sorry:#but tangentially related; last night I had one of those core memory moments#it was bed time and fiance was snoozing half-asleep and i was reading fic on the kindle which works great in the dark btw. so dim#and i got up maybe 3 times in 30 mins or so go to the bathroom; get shit i forgot in the other room; etc etc#he's a light sleeper so he tends to wake up a lil#at some point he swapped our body pillows. i have no idea which time i got up it was. i didn't even notice for so long#i use a regular pillow and he has a longer actual body pillow so it was very obvious in hindsight#he loves to mess with me like that. little things make me laugh etc. and in the moment i realised i was just so happy#i'm here in this comfy bed with the man i love reading great fic with the gift he just got me and he's half-asleep and still trying to make#me laugh. and i laugh and laugh and laugh for like 5 mins because i'm so unobservant i didn't even notice it's not my pillow#and not even in a mean way. he loves that about me because he loves me. and he is just so good. so good.#and i was reading a fic about finding someone in any world. i would find him in any world. i would#and i just said 'i love you' and he cuddled into me and went to sleep.#<33333333333333333
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柄本 佑 || 「光る君へ」 (2024) · 第十五回 「おごれる者たち」
#柄本佑#tasuku emoto#光る君へ#hikaru kimi e#1x15#made by me#fujiwara no michinaga#藤原道長#I know he's up to SOMETHING but the first scene is really fucking moving#the way he told michikane there's no need to be the fall guy anymore😭😭😭the soft 'aniue. I want you to be happy'. how I screamed.#and when he said that father's not with them anymore his eyes seem tearing up a little...just kill me pls#he swallowed and his adam's apple rolling..ughhhhh#also the last one he stared at sadaijin-sama's hand for a beat#I wonder if he ever thought about how he didn't get to do this with Kaneie😔#bc kaneie is that kind of fucking domineering guy who valued vanity & dignity too much to die as an ordinary man#the archery scene is A++#and I feel like he's sort of back to being Saburo after that scene like. saying it was childish to beef with his nephew#this is such a Saburo thing to say. something harmless and self-mocking. sometimes white lies#but dude you're dark as fuck. the last shot w the 'I'm gonna be Kanpaku' statement? scare the shit out of me#I'm gLAD michitaka stopped him😱#anyway they're just two dark souls atp#michikane wants to kill his older brother and michinaga's gonna keep him on a leash and let him be the fall guy like kaneie told him to#man...dairi is so fucked up. hardest place to survive#I get that it's the same with the forbidden city in my culture but still. this is way too dark#p.s. the 9th one's funny to me bc Tasuku-san's knuckles...like those are boxing knuckles! so out of time & place😂#(kaneie's out there somewhere in the stars and I still can't stop talking about him lol. I miss him :( )#(do I even believe that he's up not down? maybe. he did become a monk b4 he died.)#I've no problem with heavy power intrigue plots tho I've seen Tasuku implying his scenes lately were all about power struggles in dairi#I mean I do care about the mahiro storyline but the godfather -ish shit is just better
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the latest chapter
#who is THAT?#who are you?!#also what does it say about me that i can already predict yuko's gonna die just from the scene with the birds#flocking to her#i saw that and my brain automatically arrived to the conclusion that she's gonna die there#i just... didn't expect for her to die like... THAT#someone's already theorizing it might be octopus again but#idk man... it doesn't seem that likely#but yeah was it another devil? or was it chainsaw man's avid fan?#we'll just have to wait i guess#also.... yuko and asa's friendship#ah i'm glad fujimoto put that moment there#these two deserved happiness even just for a tiny moment#i nearly cried when i read these two being able to laugh it off amidst all of the chaos#so precious#anyway... new chapter is wild#and i can't wait to see what the fuck is going on with the imposter and all that shit#(also glad to see fujimoto didn't forget nayuta 👀 even though it's just her little head lol)#chainsaw man spoilers
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I want to thank my wife for making me see the color pink in a new light; making it a joyous event for me, instead of something I roll my eyes at. Associating it with her is the best thing that could have happened to my relationship to it. It's genuinely happy for me now, because I know it makes her happy. And I feel protective, and in that feeling, grows a defensive stubbornness to have more pink and more softness.
My heart just burstssss 💓with the desire to surround her with all the pretty things. With all the soft, blooming pink adornments i could find, to make her feel light, loved, and more precious than the stars.
I love that she's the softest soul I've ever known. I treasure her unabashed love of cute things, pretty, silly things I wouldn't have opened my heart to before. She's the smartest and most knowledgeable person I know, and her humor matching mine was like endless cherries on top of what I already was incredibly humbled to be a part of with her. There's something so grounding about the light-hearted moments; I really started realizing that in the past months. She makes me laugh all day, and she laughs with me, and even what I do and what I joke about can make her smile to tears. I'm starstruck by it, because she's a wonder to behold in those moments, and because it makes me feel so liked... I go shy in my heart, and smile to myself. One of the greatest joys.
I'm in awe that I get to know all parts of her, equally. Her resolution of spirit, her encyclopedic brain, her balm of a laugh, her lazy touch, her corny jokes, and so much more... To have known and adored her as someone online, then a friend, and to now know and adore her intimately, constantly makes me feel so privileged and wonderstruck.
She makes me look twice at simplicity, and awards my heart with beauty and meaning that I wouldn't have found had she not pointed to it. Trinkets, patterns, details, words, and actions; I think life is fizzing within her, and she cares so much because she can feel it all for how invaluable it is. She lives through the kind of heart I've aimed to carry in myself. I cultivate the thoughts to behave with intention, but she truly feels it all, second after second, and to watch her is to love life a thousandfold.
I try harder because of her, I wait longer because of her, I give my body pause for appreciation of what's around me, of what beauty could be found in it. I watch her watch things, and take notes. I give pause to more, in general, to feel the length of moments and savor them, and I start to understand that relaxing and nothingness have value in them, beyond preservation, or restoration. Sitting there with you is a treasure in itself. I know it, but my instincts take me out of what I know in my core to be true, for fear, that just being here wouldn't be enough. You brush fears gently with your warmth, and keep me embraced for long enough to feel, that I'm right where I should be.
She brightens everything with her gentleness and her uncorrupted stance in herself, which I admire so greatly. Seemingly uninfluenced by trends and outside opinion, she remains so effortlessly herself that her taste is truly hers, and it's so rare, and inspiring. She's like a true free spirit. She knows what she sees in things, and in others, and she's not afraid to compliment and acknowledge, even the smallest things. Victories are a many, every day, when you are around her. It's so light, so unburdened. All a continuation of communication and cooperation, and sadness, and comfort, and good faith, and care, leading us to all the finish lines we ever start.
I want her warmth to be held and celebrated for the gift that it is. I long to spend all my time embellishing her world the way she does mine. My love is hers, always deepening, filling endlessly with memories to look back on. I want more pictures than one can store, and I'm so happy about it. I used to delete without care, and now I want to overflow in folders of us.
I'm more affectionate than I could have ever been; I feel it become part of me, my hand reaching for her like that's what it's meant for. I feel the eyes beyond us becoming irrelevant. It gets easier and lovelier and more necessary each time I see her face again. It makes me so happy, and proud, and I know it's thanks to her.
I realized recently that I finally understand this thing about not knowing where the other person begins and where you end. Fade into you, you know. I understand. It's beyond words, constant when in her presence, unstated, but here, in me, between us. I feel complete, I feel peace, I'm at home with her. Nothing comes close to this.
I love you, infinitely, Dusty. I love choosing you, every single day. It's effortless; it's the thing that makes the most sense in the whole world. I'm so proud of you, and in love with you. 2 years of giggly disbelief that you love me too. I'm so lucky, @dustlines <3
#It's our anniversary#We got together almost on valentine's day. We both were like uhhhh something is gonna happen but idk what or when but I Feel It#We watched Saving Face on valentine's day and my vid kept lagging and in those waiting moments we'd unfold the onion layers of tentative#declarations of love. We didn't finish the movie cause we wanted to chat more than to finish it. And she said some things and I wasn't sure#if it was serious or not but it Sounded serious. Like she talked about a ring to hear another person's heartbeat at a distance#And all day she showered me with valentine's gifs and I was over the moon happy and surprised and I joined in#Then the 15th was awkward lol And the 16th we might have finished the movie? But at night we were talking and she had sent me this#The Untamed valentine's card that felt suspicious so before going to sleep I thought I couldn't just leave without knowing and I ASKED IF#IT WAS A SERIOUS QUESTION#And poor babe was just about to walk the dog so she didn't reply for several minutes and freaked out xD but she came back and we talked for#About an hour I'd say and gradually came to understand that the love was very mutual and at same level which we kept having to reaffirm bc#Both couldn't believe it. I love her.#We talked about dancing together that night and I think that was the last straw for me I was like COME ON#I need to know#Dust#T
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