#* oh wait i meant its Fortune who loves my wolf (his dad)

[spinnysocks]

vita shows me a stick :]

[essford]

Together in Fear

On March 30th at approximately 4:21 PM, my father and I were officially checked in to room 149 at Motel 6 in Fife, Washington. Fife is a city of almost 10,000 people on the eastern end of Tacoma, existing as the gateway between King and Pierce Counties. It is the home of Emerald Queen Casino, where my father, Chris Ford, recently purchased tickets to see Blue Oyster Cult, the hard rock band that has gone on to create a profitable, if not ultimately predictable, touring career in the casino circuit over the past two decades. I always wondered what it would be like to wind up in that environment, as in, paying money to see a band with two surviving members play a small collection of hits compacted into an hour and a half set in the back of a crowded casino, where the combined odors of urine, sweat, and booze indebted belches are barely detectable inside the multipurpose showroom, just beyond the rows and rows of slot machines, black jack tables, stuffed shoulder to shoulder with salt of the earth workers, local natives, tourists, the sloshed and slobbering, the dismal and desperate, draining savings, collecting earnings. Everybody burning money together in the name of luck.

This show would mark Chris’s sixth time seeing Blue Oyster Cult, and for him, this was business as usual. BOC was coming to EQC, and it was my mission to join him on this quest. There was no one else I could imagine myself sitting next to as “Don’t Fear The Reaper” was performed with precision to an adoring audience before someone, like surviving members Buck Dharma (age 71, with vocal cords intact) and Eric Bloom, who perhaps feared reapers of their own, so to speak. I couldn’t help but think of young Chris, sitting around at age 16, puffing a joint listening to Agents of Fortune for the first time at my Nana’s house in West Seattle. We had to hit the casino. This was a good time to lose some money very quickly.

Room 149 was furnished with two twin beds that faced a modestly sized LG TV screen, set against the center of the wall. Underneath the screen was a bare desk. Before Chris placed down his bags, as well as his cooler, filled with 1 bottle Crown Royal (with bag intact) and somewhere around 9 (?) Budweiser 12 oz. cans, he picked up the television remote which was placed on a small nightstand between our beds. Less than one minute had passed before he turned on the TV, turning up the volume. I chose the bed closer to the bathroom. Out of some instinct, I pulled back the bedsheets, and noticed three thin, stranded hairs. I am fairly certain that one of them was pubic. For no discernible reason, I then turned on the bathroom light and wondered how many people, upon entering a new motel room, inspect the bathroom out of a similar instinct. It was then I realized I forgot to bring a toothbrush.

“Oh, I love this show,” My father said, sitting on his bed, Budweiser newly cracked and a healthy slug sat in his cup like a monument. He was wearing olive cargo shorts, nondescript sneakers with Nike socks, a Washington State Cougars shirt, and a hat with a camouflage bill (not intact), emblazoned with a Cougar logo. As his eyes began to glaze, I turned my attention to what he was watching. It was a show called Live P.D. The premise of the show was similar to that of Cops, in which camera crews across America follow police officers in the line of duty, dealing with the day in, day out mayhem that one has expected to come across as a citizen of the United States. It was a livestreamed television show, hosted by a cast of three commentators, all with backgrounds in law enforcement. One of the hosts looked a lot like Paul Ryan. After each corresponding clip of real time crime, the camera would cut back to the three men, nonchalantly giving analysis on what had unfolded. Car thieves in Ohio, domestic disputes in Florida, drunk and disorderly folks flinging themselves through the streets of Baton Rouge are caught, not only by the claws and sharpened talons of the law, but on camera, and after having their rights read by stern and foul mouthed officers, they are detained, and just as if they never existed before that moment in time, the scene CUTS to a slow fade, panning to the next adrenaline fueled saga of American Crime..

In 15 minutes, we made 200 dollars disappear. Each slot machine screamed and beeped, strobing bulbs of hot light reaching out from all angles to flood my visual and aural senses. Beckoning me closer, I indulged. The miniature luxury of smoking a cigarette indoors. A soft drink simply known as “Alert” was an available option at the complimentary soda fountain. Swiveling necks in every direction could observe the multiple chins of the aging average American male. Camo garb draped flabby bodies, scores of tricep meat and missing teeth. 50 hour work weeks. Weak knees and pension checks. God blessed every vet.

My father called me frantically from a Wheel of Fortune machine. “It’s almost time for the show!” He burped into his phone, one eye on the slot, one on his shot. I happened to notice one of his chins from where I was currently losing my money.

To my right was a Hispanic man, winning big at game called WILD WOLF. “Amigo, can I use your lighter?” He asked, staring straight ahead.

His body was almost motionless, eyes unblinking behind wire framed glasses in a frosted stasis. A light Marlboro cigarette barely stuck to the dry surface of his bottom lip. He had just won a “Mega Bonus”, and for a moment his hypnotic trance was broken, but quickly returned by the next spin. I could tell he was very pleased with his current earnings, even through his glazed veneer. Fishing for my lighter in between my own failed attempts at WILD WOLF, I couldn’t help but notice this man’s special ritual. The only bodily movements he was seemingly capable of making was when he pressed down on the SPIN button, which activated his next bet, but more hypnotizing was the moments after, as he pointed and drifted across the machine’s screen with his digits, like a painter casting brush to canvas, drifting in small circles with smooth and fluid strokes, until resting with a period like pressure from his index finger on one of the 20 digitized squares that made up the game. I lit his cigarette for him as the scrolling shapes of 7’s and words like SUNOB and EMAG EERF scrolled over his glasses, slot machines themselves, consuming his vision.

I made my way closer to the Cult, and further from the life of the WILD WOLF. I couldn’t help but think about the Reaper and what he meant to the ticketholders I was standing behind and in front of. Who was he, and who really feared him? Did my father ever truly fear the Reaper, after losing his father and friends? Death and loss are made familiar through experience, yet its aura lingers beyond the confines of each individual life, leading to big questions, grander than casino floors, blander than plug in and play rock bands. In this place, everyone is free to live in fear, together. Fear waits beyond the corner, after last call, and after the last drag. After the last hit. Fear is the in between moments. Between pulls from a heartless machine, between paychecks, between distraction and destiny. The fear that we will never accomplish goals held in our hearts. The fear of not following through on every dream left unrealized. We imagine ourselves in our final moments, cursing time wasted, action untaken. Admittedly, I spend too much time pondering on death. I miss my friends who have passed too soon. I miss people I’ve never met. Watching my dad sigh heavily with impatience in the bar line, which was tended by a hardened middle aged woman, sleep deprived and numb from the crying machines steps away, reminded me of what brought us together tonight. This was life.

(REDACTED: Please include any pertinent details readers may find desirable regarding the review portion of the concert)

The next day arriving home, in true 21st century fashion, before setting down my bag or acknowledging my surroundings, I found my laptop and logged onto one of three social media platforms that have succeeded in controlling the minds, moods, and attitudes of our generation. It was around then I learned a former classmate had died the previous night.

Moments such as this, to friends and family alike, anyone with two eyes, aren’t so much moments we experience consistently, but moments absorbed in random blasts, often with explosive impact. A moment of fear in the internet age, bringing individual worlds closer in some small way, every second of the day. A moment of silence, a helping hand, a loving comment, all facing us, but all too far away to try and explain. We are here to remember life itself, which dangles by an ankle, from a cliff called humanity. We can feel it. Somedays, we are engulfed in flames, dragged ashore, blue lips kissing, with two eyes smiling. Shreds of memory flicker, spraying tangerine sparks to the cold concrete of shop class, only shrapnels of memory to bind our souls together. Moments like this, we get used to this.

Together in fear.

We are here

To remember so much, just before the eclipse

Losing oxygen, wasting breath in equal measure

To fear the reaper,

Is to never have had the pleasure,

To face it himself

[scoutstilinski]

Off Limits (Part 2)

A Liam Dunbar Fan Fic

A/N: Part 2 is finally up so sorry about the wait! I did something a little different, I hope you all like it.

Warnings: Cursing, sexual content.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

To my fortunate surprise the day went smoothly all thanks to Mason for getting my papers ready. I played it safe and simply introduced myself, went over the syllabus, and tried to get to know each class. Most of the students were nice, some of course could have cared less, and then there was one who stood out. Liam Dunbar. The whole time I spoke during 1st period his eyes never left mine, like he was genuinely listening and interested in what I had to say. The little stunt he pulled before sitting down that first day still rings through my head, he called me hot. His words clouded my thoughts, I had to shake him. Come on get it together y/n. He is a student, you are 5 years older than him. He is off limits.

A week later….

Liam’s P.O.V.

“So the new anatomy teacher, she is really cool and not to mention hot. Definitely a 10.” Stiles said from across the table. My eyes shot up to see who he was talking to. Scott smiled and replied. “Yeah, she is nice and just so happens to be gorgeous. It will be an easy A.” The boys high fived each other. Malia spoke up this time. “I thought you guys already took anatomy?” Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I hated the thought of them talking about her like that, okay so maybe I am jealous. “We did. We are taking her AP course for extra credit and I need it for college.” Scott replied. Oh yeah he was going to be a veterinarian. Makes sense. Stiles is just a nerd wanting extra credit. “Liam don’t you have her too?” Malia asked. “Uh yeah 1st period actually. She is pretty great.” I said trying to play it cool. “Oh come on dude, you know she’s hot. Don’t deny it. You aren’t with Hayden anymore. You can talk about other chicks now.” Stiles said with his trademark grin plastered on his face. “Okay yeah she’s hot. Very hot. “ I finally admitted with a defeated smile. “Scott your little beta is blushing! Look how cute! Liam has a crush on Miss Y/L/N. That’s adorable.” Stiles yelled out while laughing. My blush faded into a scowl. Scott must have felt my chemo signals because he told Stiles to shut up. I wanted to punch him but I knew that would end badly. My anger is seriously my only weakness, well it was now its that along with her.

After finishing up with the pack I decided to head home. Walking on the side walk I couldn’t help but think about what just happened. What if Stiles tries flirting with her and she flirts back? After all he is 18. Ugh why do I torture myself? She has only been here a week and I am already a mess. The sound of a vehicle slowing down beside of me yanked me from my thoughts. I looked over and noticed it was Miss Y/L/N. “Hey Liam, its getting ready to pour the rain. Do you need a ride?” She yelled out through the passenger side window. She was smiling and looked absolutely perfect. I glanced up and noticed the sky was completely grey. “Uhm yeah sure thanks!” I replied while hopping in. I felt myself becoming nervous almost instantly. She was wearing a black dress with a red cardigan over it. Her cleavage was hidden enough to be suitable for school but my eyes were still glued to what I could see. Her hands gripped the steering while and I pictured them wrapped around my di…”So Liam how am I doing so far?” She spoke up. “Wha? What do you mean?” I replied. I barely registered what she had said. “How am I doing in class? This is my first year teaching. I don’t want to be so boring that I am torturing you guys.” Her voice was like a song and I could listen to it all day. Little did she know that just being in the same room was a form of torture to me. “Oh no you are great, really. I mean you are far from boring, the complete opposite actually. I love 1st period. It’s my favorite class now.” I said trying not to sound so desperate but I failed miserably. She blushed like crazy at my response. I made her blush. How was this possible? “Well thank you, I love hearing that. Especially coming from you. I always look forward to 1st period, I enjoy having you in class Liam. “ I couldn’t believe my ears, she was actually saying this. I knew my wolf ears were not deceiving me. Okay I have to calm down. She is just saying that in a teacher to student way, not is a flirtatious way. “Seriously? I mean cause I feel the exact same way, you make me want to come to class. ” I said while looking down to fidget with my hands. “I have to be completely honest with you Liam. I heard what you said on the first day. I’m not mad. You don’t have to be embarrassed. I’m very flattered. “ She spoke so sweetly but she had a hint of something else in her voice. My werewolf senses started picking up on a very familiar chemo signal. No way, she is attracted to me….sexually. The scent was intoxicating as it poured off of her. “ I really meant it Miss Y/L/N. You are hot, beautiful, beyond sexy actually.” I spoke lowly, my voice sounded more rough now than before. She was making me crazy. A burst of adrenaline shot through me giving me more confidence. My hand instinctively went to her thigh where I rubbed soft circles onto her exposed skin. Her heart suddenly started to race. I could hear it pounding from her chest. “Liam you are going to get me into a lot of trouble if you don’t move your hand. This is a warning.” She said seductively. She didn’t really want me to stop but I did. “Sorry I couldn’t resist.” I let out a breathy laugh. I think I was holding my breath, I really didn’t want to overstep my boundaries. “Its okay, I’m not mad. Trust me. Okay now where do you live? I should get you home, its late.” She spoke now in her teacher tone sounding more professional. I told her which turns to take since she was new and wasn’t very familiar with Beacon Hills. We pulled into my drive way and I was sad that I had to get out of the car and leave her presence. “Okay so this is me, thanks again for the ride Miss Y/L/N. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Just as I went for the door handle she cupped my whole package into her hand. Her grip tightened and I couldn’t fight my now growing erection. “Here’s a little something to help you out later tonight.” She rubbed up and down my cock and moaned while she bit her lip. Then she took my hand, shoved it down the front of her dress and made me cup her bare breast. I almost came in my pants, she felt amazing. Her nipple was perfectly hard, I rolled it between my fingers. Gasping I lunged my hips upward to gain more friction. I had little self control. I wanted her so bad. “Fuck that felt so good Liam.” She called out. Hearing my name fall from her lips was heavenly. I gave her nipple a soft pinch, earning a louder moan this time. “Okay that’s enough. I have to stop. You are driving me insane.” She completely pulled away from me. The loss of her warmth made me mentally frown. “Bye Liam. “ She said as she fixed the top of her dress. I jumped out and gave her small wave as she pulled out of the drive way, she smiled back and winked. I watched her drive away, not caring that the rain was starting to come down harder. My erection was still making itself known and not going away anytime soon. I threw my bag over my crotch and walked into the house. “Hey buddy how was school?” My step dad yelled from the kitchen. “Uh it was fine. I don’t feel so good. I’m going to take a shower.” I replied. “Oh okay well dinner will be ready in about an hour if you feel like eating?” He asked. “Yeah its just a headache. I should be fine after a hot shower.”

I quickly jogged up the stairs and into my bathroom. I stripped my clothes off and threw them in the hamper. I turned the shower on and waited for it to heat up. Images of what just happened with Miss Y/L/N were racing through my head. I needed some sort of release. Right now. I hurried in and let the hot water run over me, my hand went straight for my length. Slowly I started moving up and down. I imagined that was her hand not mine as and that she was kneeling down in front of me. I grew harder by the second. All I could see was her face, biting that bottom lip and giving me the heart stopping eye contact that she was famous for. Pumping faster I so close but I needed a little more of a push, I pictured her taking my member into her mouth, swirling her tongue all around and sucking lightly on my tip. That was all it took, I came undone right then. Releasing what I had into my hand I moaned out her name, it sounded more like a growl. I finally caught my breath but still I was thinking about her. Getting myself off didn’t help at all. Fuck I’m screwed, I said aloud to myself. How was I going to get through the rest of the year now? All first period I am going to stay horny and distracted. The only solution was that I had to have her, no matter the risk. I was going to make it happen.