#i definitely think people find me weird | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amberdagger · 2 months

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my psychoanylization of ur big 3: ur weird af but going places

FAIR i enjoy this analysis

#i definitely think people find me weird #which is valid because i feel weird #just hoping the capricorn part of me will drive me to success #ask answered #✉️leev444

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buggbuzz · 9 months

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my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??

#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man #i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it #and anyways im not actually a guy #im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet #and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious #im a fucking student geneticist dude #i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways #probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders #codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales?#its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing #i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains #& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men #and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women #its an OLD study too #anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information #but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence #not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough #ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic #but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense'#figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet #and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right #it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi #i dont fucking care it makes SENSE #'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly #nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon #especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS??#are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude #that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley #combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like #nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology

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fallloverfic · 1 month

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So... on the subject of relative age in Delicious in Dungeon and Mithrun and fandom "jokes" I've seen folks complaining about. General manga and anime spoilers for character ages and names in the manga and anime below the read more:

On the one hand, I do get that people are (or at least were, I see it less these days) mad at the "Mithrun grandpa/old man" jokes/comments because "it's just cause he's disabled" and "relatively speaking, he's the same age as Chilchuck, and no one treats Chilchuck like he's an old man/something about how Chilchuck dislikes being treated differently, mentally, for his presumed age/state of mind".

Okay, yes. Relatively speaking, sure. There's a conversation to be had about the intersection of ableism and ageism and how we often baby (in a patronizing way) disabled people and the elderly, and how we prioritize youth and treat middle-aged people like their lives are over. (And maybe something about how he has silver hair, I don't know). On a more positive note, I love that, relatively speaking, possibly by Elvish standards, Mithrun is at/near middle-age (elvish age of maturity is 80 years, their average lifespan is 400 years), because that's a fascinating bit of world-building.

...On the other hand (please rest your pitchforks momentarily), Mithrun is literally 185 years old, he is the fifth oldest cast member for characters whose age we know as of the English release of the Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible (after the Elf Queen, who's 372, the elder Flokes, who are in their 200s, and Milsiril, who's four years older than Mithrun), and he is the oldest member of his group of the Canaries (he's literally 103 years older than his subordinate, Pattadol, and still 39 years older than Cithis, the next oldest Canary after Mithrun). And speaking of Chilchuck, who is, yes, a married father of multiple adult children... and also 29. Mithrun has lived over six times as long as Chilchuck has. (All ages come from Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible; Sissel + the other Golden Country residents don't have listed ages there, though they're at least 1000 years old, and the other elves don't show up). Mithrun was in recovery after the central watchtower dungeon for longer than at least five characters have been alive.

Age chart:

Elf Queen: 372

Tansu Floke: 210

Yarn Floke: 204

Milsiril: 189

Mithrun: 185

Cithis: 149

Otta: 137

Fleki: 130

Lycion: 126

Senshi: 112

Noor: 98

Totan: 95

Pattadol: 82

Gillin: 79

Brigan: 78

Holm: 76

Fionil: 62

Namari: 61

Daya, Invar: 58

Marcille: 50

Maizuru: 41

Chilchuk: 29

Laios, Toshiro, Hien: 26

Rin: 24

Falin, Benichidori: 23

Kabru, Mikbell: 22

Zon: 21

Kaka, Kiki: 20

Kuro, Doni: 18

Izutsumi, Inutade: 17

Leed: 14

Mithrun is older than Senshi, older than Marcille, older than Kabru's entire party, including Holm and Daya, and older than the oldest human we have an established age for, Maizuru (again, the first Adventurer's Bible doesn't list the Golden Country resident ages, and Mithrun is definitely younger than them, but also they're generally minor characters except for Yaad and Delgal). He's older than Senshi's former dwarf comrades were when they died. He's also apparently older than Flamela, the vice commander of the Canaries (she's 170, at least according to the fanwiki, which is possibly going off the Complete Adventurer's Bible).

He is of course younger than Obrin, his older brother, whose age we don't know, but we do know that Mithrun is the younger brother. He is also obviously much younger than the demon.

I also find it interesting that people are jumping to the big assumption that he's middle-aged (relatively) due to... I guess just chopping the average lifespan of elves in half and assuming that's what they think middle-aged is? We know the average lifespan of elves and when they come to maturity. We do not know what elves think of Mithrun's age or what their concept of being middle-aged is, if they have one. He could be considered young by elf standards. He could be considered old. We have no idea.

Thinking about the conversation in Volume 8, Chapter 51: Dumplings 2, it's just about total/average lifespan and how near the characters are to dying by average race age, not middle age.

Chilchuck on p.37: "What's the difference between our actual ages and how old we look?"

Laios: "Well, dwarfs do live two and a half times as long as tall-men."

Chilchuck: "If our actual ages affect our looks, then... ...I'm curious about remaining life. Will we age at the same rate we did before? Or will it match our bodies now?"

They never get an answer for this. We do get rough estimates for what one race's age means to another by comparing Laios' actual age (26) to what Senshi thinks dwarf!Laios is, age-wise (his 60s), and both ages put him near but not at assumed middle-age for the respective race (for tall-men it would be 30, for dwarfs, 100), but otherwise they don't come to many conclusions about anything. They just guess and try to change back before something worse happens. Marcille doesn't even say anything in this conversation about elf culture. She just panics because half-foots live shorter lives.

I would not personally call Mithrun a grandpa and I don't particularly connect with jokes about it. By Elvish standards, and relatively speaking, he is perhaps not, arguably, old. ...But he's no spring chicken, either, despite how strong and fast he is. By the standards of most characters he is interacting with in the story, he is the oldest person in the room, by a substantial margin (heck, the age gap between Mithrun and Cithis is more years than Chilchuck has lived). That doesn't make him a grandpa, either. But I do find people getting mad about folks pointing out this literally 185-year-old being is you know... 185 years old... odd...? Especially when he's around all these by and large substantially younger people (younger people who are adults by and large!!!) for most of the story. Again, there's definitely a conversation to be had about the intersection of ageism and ableism, and how we treat people who are middle-aged as if they're elderly even when they're able-bodied, and about the way other characters in-universe treat him (though the one time I think his age is pointed out, it's about the stuff he knows, not to mock him for it; mostly people treat him badly due to his disabilities (e.g., Fleki with his aiming in chapter 55, Cithis in the Adventurer's Bible), not because of his age)... but it does feel very much like people are ignoring that he is honestly one of the oldest characters in the story, and not by dint of being the oldest youth, but because he's a character who has lived to be nearly 200 years old.

#mithrun #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #I think there's also a conversation to be had about how Flamela talks down to him #I'm not saying grandpa joke away but people ignoring that he's literally 185 years old is kind of weird to me #he's actually not exactly middle-aged #he's slightly younger than that #he is by some definitions young #but remind me when we decided people nearly 200 years old weren't by some definitions old #I think there's interesting things to explore in a character who's lived to be that old #interacting with more races who don't get to live that long but who have different experiences #than pretending he's got roughly the same amount of lived experience as someone who's lived 6x less than he has #like he was in recovery nearly as long as Kabru is alive and none of his caretakers knew to try a foot massage?#not a single one of them?#no wonder it was only Milsiril showing up that led to him having a breakthrough #kui's manga is among other things about how different races experience things differently #and take away different lessons and understandings #and have different values #and navigating those differences can be hard but is worthwhile #like with senshi and the dwarves or idk every single mixed race party #what I find fascinating about the changeling age scene is how Chilchuck DOESN'T say everyone is the same with relative age #he notes the different ways races experience aging #races in dunmeshi have different biology #and this is a core part of Marcille's character arc #she is literally terrified of her loves ones dying and hates the unfairness of different race aging processes #one thing that's important to kabru's arc and the story in general is how knowledge can be lost and hidden #especially by older races who hoard it #and how this can be abused so easily whether it's the elves or the demon #and we learn a little over midway through the story that dungeon lords can be cured or rescued because Mithrun was one and he got away

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halo-eater · 1 month

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#in the kindest way possible i think that some of your guys' queer microlabels are predicated on incorrect assumptions #about what is or is not typical of most people's gender and attraction.#you can call yourself whatever you want.#but just be aware that Straight and Gay and Transgender and Bisexual and Man and Woman and Nonbinary and other 'boring' labels #have always held capacity for more nuance and diversity than you've even thought to imagine #rigid definitions of queerness are a new and generally unhelpful development in the history of our community #and i promise that people before the internet era didn't just all have a simpler relationship with gender and sexuality than we do #again. you can call yourself whatever makes you most comfortable. that's the goal.#it just makes me feel weird when people demand or assign microlabels to historical figures or celebs who have not IDed themselves #or strangers on the internet/in their class.#apparently at my brother's very progressive middle school there is such a culture of everyone needing to neatly label themselves #that he just picked a sexuality to tell his friends even though he doesnt know #(which is pretty crazy because my middle school experience was only a decade off and a few miles #and there was definitely still homophobic bullying. but anyway)#i doubt that that's an uncommon story considering how you can log into tiktok #and find pages run by 11 year olds confidently stating a list of queer labels #people absolutely do figure out that they're queer/trans/gay at that age to be clear. kids been be queer and know it and that's incredible.#what makes me worried is kids feeling like they have to scramble to figure themselves out and clearly identify themselves to their peers #so they can be neatly categorized and as an expected virtue signal #<- is aware that this still isn't a problem in most parts of the world and that this is a much better problem to have #than homophobic bullying and internalized homophobia/transphobia #idk I'm rambling here

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hanzajesthanza · 1 month

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nooo like reading maria janion's such comprehensive overview of vampires and what defines a vampire and how the myth changes through times and authors, as entirely expected, has contributed to my regis brainrot.

because though it's obvious how many tropes regis subverts as he literally talks about himself, it's more overwhelming when they're all summarized focused on examples from across history and the literature canon, and pretty much hitting none of them or fucking with all of them. because it's not that he just doesn't fit in within his own fantasy universe, but that he doesn't fit in within the broader canonical definition...

"my personal vision of fantasy (...) he is not the typical vampire bloodsucker, according to the dictates of the canon" ... uggghhhh sapkowski, in his witcher, by challenging all genre expectations and tropes, creates all of these characters that don't fit in anywhere, neither in their universe or in the broader canon. and thus, can only find fraternity with each other

i was just reading like 'so... so he doesn't fit in *anywhere*... 🥺'. regis in baptism of fire explaining how he doesn't conform to either vampiric expectations of vampires (socially, for his personal principles) nor of human expectations of vampires (biologically, for his literal existence). but it even goes farther when you look beyond the witcher and to the broader literary and mythological canon. in practically every understanding of a vampire he would not be recognized as one of them... and does he even want to.

#> not a vampire by the majority of definitions #> born a vampire #> doesnt live as a vampire #> when people find out they are curious and apprehensive abojt him being a vampire #imagine some bullshit question like ‘but do you FEEL like a vampire’#honestly. this is how i feel about my gender <3 #'and then people fetishize me and it's weird' - he literally understood everything there is to understand. regis honorary lgbt #'honorary' ... im jk lol #isn't this most of the heroes of the witcher though #milva: 'i just feel like i dont even fit the definition of a woman' | regis (not-vampire): 'felt' | cahir (not-nilfgaardian): 'felt'#the elbow-high diaries #i would stop thinking about regis but also i cant sorry :p #c: regis #everyone in the hanza and their duality... they're all half-one thing half-another #call my favorite characters coffee... because you know you put that half-and-half into them #me: biracial and nonbinary crying 'idk why i relate to these witcher characters so much'#witcher characters: cannot be defined by one half and live inbetween two worlds not fitting in either #WE UNDERSTANDED !#every time i start thinking abt this again i start humming 'here on the island of misfit toys...'#witcher/baptism of fire is like: moreso than how you personally identity your identity is determined by your social group views and actions #and that is why i love it sm. on top of being anti-war and also being funny and introspective and beautiful

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transfemgeorgecostanza · 9 months

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finished the new walter moers book last night, and i loved it. it is not flawless - some of it feels a bit too familiar within the series - and he may perhaps never again reach the heights of Rumo, City of Dreaming Books, and whatever Der Schrecksenmeister is called in English, but it feels like a return to form. it's less about plot and more about dabbling in the sending up of northern german island culture/tourism, but more focused, more engaging, more Zamonien than, say, whatever Prinzessin Insomnia und der albtraumfarbene Nachtmahr is called in English, or the two thinner volumes of Zamonia novels that felt more like writing exercises than actual writing.

#walter moers #german stuff #zamonien #SOME people have the theory that Moers is not Moers but rather a collective / someone else writing and the writer of the first five novels #as stopped writing them #which i find very weird #and dont believe #MY theory #and this is really nothing but a theory #is that moers has some sort of mega writers' block perhaps brought on by 'external' reasons like illness (or depression or sth)#which is why he a) had someone else draw Prinzessin Insomnia and write sth that is definitely not Zamonien #b) afterwards wrote those two thin books which as mentioned felt like exercises of trying to get back into it #and c) also sorta why the second part of his two part Dreaming Books sequel has still not made it out after what. 12 years?#including i think changing publishers after the first of them? or around that time at least.#we will never know probably #but this makes me hopeful for a future of the series #maybe even that sodding second part.

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pandora15 · 11 months

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hm

I wonder if I'm getting a bit sick of star wars

like there are the things that make me happy about it, especially obi-wan and the prequels and tcw but also like

I'm frustrated about what they did with ahsoka, and then I'm also just not finding fic that I can vibe with and the fandom just feels so…empty?

which is wild because it's definitely got bigger since I joined, but idk, it just feels like in the obi-wan fandom circles, it just feels like it's shrinking. and I think part of it is everyone being really busy with irl things (myself included) and then whatever is left in the sw fandom in general is just stuff i don't vibe with

but then I keep seeing it over and over and over again so now it's just irritating to me

like. yeah there are ships/tropes that I don't vibe with at all and I usually try to steer clear of them when looking for fic to read, but these days it feels like that's all I can find. so now I'm frustrated and tired and not really getting the fic fix that I want

and normally my solution to this is to just write what I want to read, but I don't have the mental space to do it, so I'm just. stuck.

a part of me feels bad to complain about this, but idk I'm gonna put it out there anyways. it's just like the fandom feels completely different than it did when I first joined, or even like 2-3 years ago, and I'm not sure if I'm happy about it.

#i think a lot of this also has to do with being firmly in the post kenobi show era and trying to figure out how to move on from that #like i don't feel much excitement for any upcoming sw content now #that might change depending on what they announce yet but. idk the ahsoka series really put me off #like idk if i'll continue watching mandoverse stuff. kinda feel like i'm done with that stuff #i'll definitely watch andor s2 and i'll definitely play the third jedi game #and then when it comes to fic i think it'll help once i have the brainspace to write #but i feel like i'm right about finding fic to read #which to be clear is no one's fault exactly #people are gonna write what they wanna write and they SHOULD #but as a reader i'm also gonna read what i feel would appeal to me most #and right now it's very difficult to find anything that does #even when it doesn't feel like i have a lot of things that i'm looking for maybe i am? without realizing it at least #idk #anyways #i have a weird relationship with sw. moral of the story #pandora's ramblings

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buildacatboy · 12 days

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Proship is a mindset and just means you don't go around harassing people over fiction. There is no such thing as a "proship ship".

help??? somebody getting offended because i hate rape and incest in my fiction when i want to jork my peanis. Waiter there's a weird little gooner anon in my soup

#boy i bet you think lolis are weird but you don't think its weird when you do it #sometimes people needs 2 ask themselves questions that they arent comfortable with. like “if im jerking it to kids does that make me a pedo”#there is definitely such thing as a proship ship my brother but i also agree that it is a mindset designed to feed on abuse-#-and substantiate it which i find repulsive and in the nature of self harm !#ask #anon #asks #proship tw

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licorishh · 1 year

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Genshin characters age headcanons masterlist (updated)

Yeah. I could give you many reasons why I believe some of the more debatable/"controversial" ones are very sensible and Good based on just freaking paying attention to context given in the game but for now I'll just compile a basic list. If you'd like to hear my reasoning for some of these you're welcome to ask as long as you're polite about it.

List under the cut.

Aether/Lumine: 19

Amber: 18

Kaeya: 22

Lisa: 33

Barbara: 17

Razor: 16

Xiangling: 16

Beidou: 29

Xingqiu: 15

Fischl: 19

Ningguang: 31

Bennett: 18

Noelle: 18

Chongyun: 16

Sucrose: 20

Jean: 21

Diluc: 22

Qiqi: 6-8 (Hard to tell given she's a zombie and talks and acts differently from normal)

Mona: 20

Keqing: 21

Venti: 20 (biologically)

Klee: 7-ish?

Diona: She's so hard because she literally runs a business and acts like an adult but she's super short. I have no idea.

Tartaglia: 21

Xinyan: 19

Zhongli: 37

Albedo: 21

Ganyu: 23

Xiao: 20

Hu Tao: 18

Rosaria: 23

Yanfei: 21

Eula: 24

Kazuha: 20

Ayaka: 18

Sayu: 9- or 10-ish maybe?

Yoimiya: 18

Kujou Sara: 24

Raiden: 28 (biologically)

Kokomi: 18

Thoma: 20

Gorou: 18

Itto: 26

Yun Jin: 19

Shenhe: 23

Yae Miko: 30

Ayato: 26

Yelan: 24

Shinobu: 20

Heizou: 21

Collei: 16

Tighnari: 22

Dori: Super hard to tell, because again, she lives alone and runs a business by herself despite using the short girl model.

Candace: 24

Cyno: 23

Nilou: 21

Nahida: 7-9

Layla: 18-19 (she seems to maybe be in her first year of college - definitely in college, I'm just guessing the year here)

Faruzan: 24 (I know she's like a hundred years older but she was stuck and didn't age and I'm talking biologically still)

Scaramouche: 21 (biologically)

Yaoyao: 7-ish?

Alhaitham: 26

Dehya: 25

Mika: 17

Kaveh: 27

Baizhu: 34

Kirara: 20

Lynette: 20

Lyney: 20

Freminet: 17 (Don't know how much younger he is than his siblings, just guessing based on context and the way he talks and acts)

Furina: 21 (biologically)

Neuvillette: 36 (biologically)

Wriothesley: 32

Navia: 26

Clorinde: 27

Sigewinne: Basically impossible to know as she's a Melusine and not a human

Charlotte: 21

Signora: 29

Dottore: 33

Arlecchino: 31

Dainsleif: 22 (biologically)

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #this is largely aimed at people who are under the mistaken impression that any characters have a CANON age particularly the travelers #sarah miller-crews saying she was under the impression the travelers were 15 and then correcting #and saying “actually i don't know for sure that's just what i thought” has left the fandom with the mistaken idea that that is solid canon #and it most definitely is not #i find it much easier to believe the traveler is biologically 18 at the very least #largely because of that part in one of the mondstadt quests where kaeya is openly flirting with the traveler (obviously as a joke but still #he's clearly a young adult and would not at all be flirting with a teenager as a joke or otherwise #this is also why the way lisa flirts with the traveler makes me extremely uncomfortable (and i think it's intended to)#because even though i headcanon them as 19 she seems like she's in her late 20s and that's a bit much of an age gap #this is also largely aimed at one particular artist who keeps drawing neuvillette and wriothesley and making them both look like old men #it weirds me out because there's literally a line in the fontaine archon quest where paimon says wrio's younger than she expected him to be #and neuv is pretty nimble and uses the young male adult model so idk where that person got the idea that they're in like their mid 50s #calling them both “wrio” and “neuv” feels very cursed but there is unfortunately a character limit in the tags #it annoys me that the fandom is completely blind to context and just goes “medium height model equals teenager #and tall height model equals adult" because if the medium height female characters in liyue are any clue that is definitely not the case #ganyu and keqing literally work IN THE GOVERNMENT #hu tao RUNS A FUNERAL HOME #yanfei is a freaking lawyer #they would not be letting teenagers do that #heck this is the case in every nation almost #tighnari runs the whole dang forest ranger thing out in gandharva ville #cyno also literally works for the government and is like their frickin chief of police for the entire frickin country #faruzan is a licensed professor at arguably the most prestigious university in all of teyvat #layla is literally in college and as far as we know is normal college age and isn't doing advanced classes as a teenager #in inazuma ayaka runs their clan's GOVERNMENT WORK along with her brother #kokomi and gorou are literal generals in the army #heizou is a licensed detective

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romance-incubomp3 · 1 month

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aghhhh:(

#I wish I had known about bt when atsushi was still around:( like #getting into them so much has been like a source of happiness and comfort this year #but then I feel kind of bad because the reason I found out about them is because someone died #for a while it was just one of those things that’s like yeah #sometimes an artist dies and that’s how you find out about their stuff #and it’s nice for people to continue discovering and loving someone’s art after they’re gone #but I’ve been feeling more sad about that lately #like I’ve never found a band that’s just felt so much like My thing before #there’s plenty of bands and songs I love but #I’ve never really gotten this obsessed or invested in a specific band #so part of me wishes I had discovered them sooner or heard about them under better circumstances #and not cause I happened to be scrolling through tumblr during work and #saw goth blogs I follow posting memorial stuff #it feels kind of spooky and morbid too because I had been #thinking lately I wanted to find some goth bands from japan #if I had actually gotten around to doing the research I probably would have started listening to them #so it was weird timing #and I was showing my dad the climax together tour and he was kind of #lamenting that he had never heard of them when he was younger because he would have gotten so into their music #like. ah if my dad had any exposure to japanese rock when he was younger #I definitely would have grown up listening to a lot of buck-tick #and der zibet too probably #I was watching dz concert videos late last night #and issay was so cute and lively and full of energy #and then I thought about how he died in some accident and I started feeling upset #especially since one of my favorite movie actors died in a pretty horrific freak accident #it’s like I’d rather just not think about what might’ve happened (since there weren’t really public details)#anyway I’m just kind of like. having complicated feelings about all of it #different than sadness and grief I’ve felt over artists in the pass since it was all postmortem that I knew about them

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rotisseries · 6 months

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people are very weird about shockfics like what is up with that

#like. it's a hazing ritual almost cause every fandom has a shockfic so very fandom has that hazing ritual #AND IT'S WEIRD TO ME #you hear about some fic with just absolutely disgusting tags and strange sex acts or whatever #and it's very much NOBODY'S cup of tea and it's got the vibes of something that was DEFINITELY written #to get the “OH MY GOD WHO TF WOULD WRITE THIS⁉️” reaction #and people GIVE IT THAT REACTION #they go on the internet and talk about it CONSTANTLYYYYY #but they have to let you know just how traumatizing it is in a way that let's you think they at least tried to read it #like it's some sort of fandom rite. to have tried to read this fic no one likes #but they still have to let you know how horrible they think it is so you don't think they're into any of that #AND THENNN they follow that up by trying to trick people into reading it??#comments full of “you should try this fic it's so lovely😊😊😊” on the profiles of TOTAL STRANGERS #IS THIS A FUCKING HAZING RITUAL TO YOU GUYS??? BE SO SERIOUS #I genuinely think it's so weird to be telling any random ass fandom account the weirdest fic you can find and telling them to read it #cause like some of those shockfics are actually abysmal. trying to subject any rando to this is weird of you

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vaguely-concerned · 4 days

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trying to look for a ttrpg group in spaces where I can't just go 'listen I want to play this shit in the tumblr fandom kind of model (gay subtext extremely welcome bordering on essential, mutual unhinged character psychoanalysis, we could create a novel of a backstory together to make this sadder, let's all play with our OC dolls together and also sometimes dice are rolled I guess)' and be readily understood and/or not be immediately side-eyed or denigrated for my inherent unavoidable tumblerinaness feels like such an annoying debuff to deal with on the quest. like I know my people exist out there but how do I express myself in the right way and wade through all the copious not-it (not for me) dynamics to find them!!!

#I feel like a weird kid in the playground trying to find someone who plays the same way as me all over again fhdksjfa #(and if/when I find them -- how the fuck to approach them)#turns out there are so many ways to play rpgs that do not appeal to me in the slightest #there are so many dimensions -- creative interpersonal gameplay-wise -- where you can severely not match with someone lmao #with half of the people I've come across it seems like it would be a struggle just to agree there should be a session 0 :')#but I know I KNOW this could be exactly my kind of fun with the right people it's a little maddening #(my group of friends when I was 12-13 was like... we were trying SO hard to play an rpg without having an rpg to play #some from first principles but with no guidelines to help us stuff #and it was one of my rare 'oh fuck. oh fuck yeah this could be it!!' social moments at that time lol. clearly something instinctive there)#I have been lurking around in a discord server on a more national/local level but I'm not gonna lie... a lot of The Good Old Boys shit #dominating the conversation there. I really don't think they mean to take all the oxygen out of the room for everyone else but uh #it's kind of just what happens. I have seen seen hour-long debates over definitions so esoteric and navel-gazing it would haunt your dreams #trying to wade through that to find the people who might vibe more with me seems... so exhausting and I don't know howww!!#the high masking autistic blues plays again

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andragoras-in-vanity · 1 month

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ran wanderhome for the first time, idk if this group is suited to it but it was fun!!! once i figure it out better i think itll make more sense but at least they liked it

#wanderhome #might be an andy only game ngl but i have more people to try it with #hell maybe its just better as an online game too? comfort of my own bed while playing?#i love my grouo though ive missed them #definitely more chaotic without nat and jess around tho #i need to find some boys to join a group tho #its all he/theys and shes here #thats cool i love me a he they and a queen but hm. i like men.#i just wanna be around men and i think it would be really lovely to see more masculine people unwinding #but also my room is a weird temp and im sweating and shivering st the same time again #i. really hope no one noticed how much i was sweating #my armpits are GROSS

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vogelmeister · 1 month

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this is gonna sound so trivial so hear me out but i do not like it when somebody knows im a taylor swift fan and then they boil me down to the point where thats my only personality trait and i can’t like anything else more than i like taylor swift.

#i think i hate it when people boil me down to one thing i like #because i had this in my late teens wherein i was a harry potter (ik ik) girl and received merch up until i was 19/20 which by that point #i was over it #but with the swiftie thing i think its more than that #i actually kinda feel bad for non swifties because i think people see a girl my age and assume #but this conversation was bought to you by an uber conversation after griff last night #i was discussing all the concerts i had been to and i mentioned off hand that i was way more hyped for maisie than taylor #and my friend was so shocked ??? like ??? the eras tour wasn’t The concert for you ???? but you're a swiftie ofc it was ???#like idk she was shocked to discover i liked something more than taylor swift #but also i think i enjoy maisie more than taylor and while i love taylor and she’s definitely up there shes not my favourite #(this was the shit that made redacted pull the “im a bigger swiftie and deserve ur merch” card)#but people find out im a swiftie and assume she is and i must like no one more than taylor #this is so fucking trivial maar its an observation #and so weird to discuss on tumblr where everyone here knows me for something else #liking taylor swift is not my thing in the way people think its my thing #i like her. but i like other things more.#i also dont hate it if you're trying to connect with me by giving me taylor news thats fine #its just when people assume i dont like anything else more #taylor swift

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aggravatedanarchy · 3 months

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I fucking love video games that are buggy as fuck

Fucking around in Vault 3, helping those guys escape- I come back with the key and two of them are outside the cage and one of the Fiends is inside it instead. I'm like "wow okay," move on, unlock the cage.

And then I just. Get to watch them all crouch and "sneak" out of the cage, pushing up against and stopping in front of Fiends the whole way.

I genuinely don't know if they're supposed to just be fine once you open the cage? So like maybe that last bit is par for the course. But coming back to two of them just wandering that room, chillin with the captors? Incredible. 10/10 I recommend this game to everyone.

#queued #jay.txt #fallout new vegas #can i like. comment on a thing btw. here in the comfort and safety of my tags?#does anyone else find getting good karma exclusively from (at least so far as I've seen) killing Fiends a little. Not Fucking Great?#like. idk. when i first heard about them in game it was from betsy and she has that one line abt them and like. it kinda set a tone for me #+maybe. 'cause barring the fiends we're given specified crimes for (and thus I DO enjoy my good karma from) they're just. addicts?#idk it just rubs me wrong. especially walking around this vault without having aggro'd them. like they don't even get upset with you for +#+taking their chems??? which i expected to be a problem 100%. but no. they just let you do whatever. they're just Fiending as it were #i do recognize that like. They've Fucking Done Shit. like killing the original vault dwellers who apparently just invited them in. that's +#+horrible yeah I agree. but how am i meant to know/believe they were all 100% complicit in that? how recent was that also? there's possibly #+people in this faction who DIDN'T do that yk? idk. idk. I'm overthinking it but it just rubs me wrong. like you're not gonna give me good #+karma for killing the slaver faction but I can get it for killing addicts? sure. okay. definitely not fucking weird behavior #Rant Over it's just been on the mind. until I get a mission that makes me be aggressive w them in there I'm gonna leave them be I think #like rogues that just attack me? sure. self defense. but if they've not attacking me we're just gonna chill #(queued june 9th)#future/present me here with an update! Finally encountered something else that gave me good karma for killing it! it was a feral ghoul +#+trooper. not sure how I feel about that 100%? i think i lean mostly towards ''yeah fair enough.'' it does make me feel a little less Hm +#+about the Fiend good karma though. just a little. but seriously why am I not getting it from Legion troops-#(additional tags added june 13th)

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willgrahamismybabygirl · 3 months

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Vent post lol

Fighting for my life out here

(Afraid everyone who loves me will not care about me anymore once I transition, I’ll go from relatively pretty girl to ugly freak, I have no idea how to be future me)

#happy pride ig #vent post #also like I think freaks are hot💔 but it’s so hard to find other like actual genuine weird people irl #yall only live on timblr apparently #so glad the whole ‘I was never good at being a (gender assigned at birth)’ ‘I always knew from a young age’ narrative helps people but like #I’ve successfully lived as a girl for so long I don’t even know how to go about changing #I want to so bad I feel like I’m in drag but it’s so exhausting to live that way #Im so tired of doing it #but I have so much longer till I can start hrt #I feel so dysphoric about the way I talk/walk/am in general #like how do you even go about changing your mannerisms #like I know there’s no right way to be a man but also like the specific man I emulate is definitely not me #at least not right now #idk how much of that is like normal and fine or if I’m just weird lol #I’ve never really seen anyone talk about that part of being trans before so idk if I’m like super out of left field with this one

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