#I feel like a weird kid in the playground trying to find someone who plays the same way as me all over again fhdksjfa

[vaguely-concerned]

trying to look for a ttrpg group in spaces where I can't just go 'listen I want to play this shit in the tumblr fandom kind of model (gay subtext extremely welcome bordering on essential, mutual unhinged character psychoanalysis, we could create a novel of a backstory together to make this sadder, let's all play with our OC dolls together and also sometimes dice are rolled I guess)' and be readily understood and/or not be immediately side-eyed or denigrated for my inherent unavoidable tumblerinaness feels like such an annoying debuff to deal with on the quest. like I know my people exist out there but how do I express myself in the right way and wade through all the copious not-it (not for me) dynamics to find them!!!

[danadiadea]

To that extraordinarily rude poster who told you to take the stick out of your ass for quite reasonably pointing out that perhaps we shouldn’t ascribe sexual motivations to a 9 year old child looking ‘hungrily’ at another child…

Pre-pubescent kids can have innocent crushes, obviously. But *sexualised* behaviour (which the word ‘hungrily’ interpreted in a romantic context has undeniable connotations of) in children that young is the glaring giveaway sign of CSA. Maybe that poster should reflect on whether they think JKR intended to convey that about the abuse of young Snape, and if so, what that says about how the narrative and fandom condemns him for being ‘creepy’ in his hunger and valorises the Marauders who are then guilty of further assaulting a survivor and Lily who is complicit in that? Somehow, I don’t think JKR was getting at that as opposed to trying to convey the depths of baby Snape’s loneliness.

I’m someone who thinks he did have romantic feelings for her as a teenager. But there’s an obvious reason why JKR wrote them as a pre-pubescent friendship instead of writing them as meeting at school. And it’s to make it clear that sexual/romantic feelings, while part of it, are not the deepest root of the Snily relationship. She’s the Ron to his Harry (except, unfortunately for Severus, infinitely less loving and loyal than the Weasley king), the very first friend a neglected boy ever has and who he will therefore forgive anything and do anything for.

Didn't want to keep going on that because the OP indicated they are not comfortable with their post getting dragged so far away from the original topic, and I don't see the point in chatting with some mentioned people who find it acceptable to call others bitches, but on that matter:

Sev isn't ever looking "hungrily" at Lily. His look is described as "greedy" twice – once from the bushes when he hadn't approached her yet, and then when they chat about Magical world, with Harry noting he looks at her "as greedily as on the playground", specifically after he said she had "loads of Magic". I don't know how do people interpret it romantically (and sexually, because I agree that both words "hungrily" and "greedily" clearly imply sexualised subtext in romantic context, and that's basically a thing that had irked me). Severus is a child who sees a happy, healthy, cared for, joyful girl, playing and doing Magic freely. The one like him, the one who could understand him and appreciate him for telling her more about the Magical world. Obviously, Muggle kids wouldn't accept a weird boy who yapps about some made-up stuff for freaks, wears a girls blouse and doesn't fit among "brawny" working class boys – and Severus would naturally scoff at them back and hold on his magic as a source of pride and potential escape. Severus' parents don't even care enough to cut his hair properly, and find him a normal sencond hand clothes – worn, but his, not the wrong size and not a mockery material. And he sees a piece of his escape being right there, mere meters away – flying, laughing. Of course Severus would be mersmerised. Of course he would be greedy and hungry and longing – for someone to see him, to believe him, to validate him, someone special whom he could suggest something special in return. He doesn't even know her as a person! She's a concept, a perfect magical slate to project Severus' wishes onto. How is that Severus "greedily wanting Lily as in a human being Lily Evans in a romantic way"?.....

I am normally for platonic Snily (I love the HC of Severus loving Lily platonically but identifying his love as romantic himself, because he struggles to see the difference with his lack of experience in positive connections tho. I find a line between platonic and romantic attraction rather blurry and sometimes unnecessary, but imagining Snily in a long-term romantic relationship never works in my head, neither does Severus wanting Lily sexually, and I don't think he understood her good enough to love her and not something he made out of her in his head (both platonically and romantically)), but I am never opposing people who are in for romantic Snily, and I think it is a more canon compliant interpretation since it is intended by the author. My problem is with interpreting the behaviour of a child in a way unnatural for children. Like if Severus made her a stupid romantic poem about eyes like pickled toads, I'd agree he had a childhood crush, but we don't really get any of those adult mimicking, cutesy behaviours in Snily (how many affection did Severus even see to automatically replicate it?)

You should genuinely stop giving me headcanons of Severus as a CSA survivor, tho, because I am prone to writing some absolute whump shit sometimes.

(Also, unfortunately for Severus, she was in the opposing Hogwarts House. How the train meeting of Harry, Ron, Draco and CrabbeGoyle mirrors the meeting of Lily, Severus, James and Sirius, but Harry and Ron end up opposing Draco and CrabbeGoyle, when Severus alone ends up opposing Lily, James and Sirius, will never not be tragic)

[sparklyanchovy]

Is it just me, or are we becoming more and more reserved and isolated each year? It feels to me that when reaching out to other people was more difficult, and when it wasn't within the reach of a couple of taps on the smartphone, we would, contra-intuitively as it sounds, reach out to other people more, cause we would seize any opportunity to do it.

Someone from your school just made an account on this brand-new social media that you recently got into? Great, that sounds like a great reason to friend them and initiate a conversation (even if you have never actually spoken to the person in real life). It was possible back then that there would be not many people from your school or another social group on the media so just the fact that you were both from that group and both hung on this site made you bond. I still remember how random people from my school I never actually met would just reach out to chat. As well as finding online friends - I had a few, but I had them.

And nowadays, new people reach out online mostly only for two reasons - either they are in search of a relationship (mostly desperate creeps who are clearly out of touch with reality, by the way), or they cleverly try to sell something to you. Heartbreaking, really. And as for people you already know - just like I said, you can reach out to them any day, any time just with a couple of taps. And that's why… You usually don't. Aside from some of the closest friends, of course, but as for others, it now seems to be considered awkward. Desperate. Weird. Like, why would you even do that?

It seems like a kind of silent agreement that no one ever has declared out loud, but everyone understands. And it's not making anyone happier. It actually makes people feel more lonely and isolated than ever. But that's the reality.

And Internet-related socialization aside, sometimes I just miss how it was when we were kids - when any other child on the playground could just come to you, ask your name and age, suggest you go and play together - and bam, you're friends now. Maybe just for a day. But in any case, it was so easy back then.

The picture is, once again, from Pinterest.

[erotique-nightmares]

.....

"What do you really want, Natasha?" A rather impossible sounding question for me to answer, a daunting one that has followed me all my life. Because it never felt like 'what do YOU want' and more 'what are you ALLOWED'. It was a voice in the back of my mind continually. I rebelled against it, cried over it, screamed and fought but it always remained in the back of mind. A sense that my control in the world was painfully limited, to the point I would have to find 'tricks' both physically and psychologically to 'escape' such guards that lurked both in my mind and in reality, in flesh.

I remember at an early age feeling to some degree 'separated' from myself. I was aware of the fact I was a regular human girl, where I lived, who my family was, my parents were, recognized my face, connected to my name. That I was alive, I had form and function. But at the same time I continually felt as if in a dream, when I think back on that time, on childhood, especially early on. I don't remember entirely feeling there, only halfway, part of my mind always elsewhere. A sort of mental 'lazy eye' is what comes to mind. I remember crying a lot, but not understanding why, kids at school laughing at me and calling me a 'crybaby', weird. Clearly odd. I lived in the spookiest house in the neighborhood, with the family that hosted loud, boisterous parties with rock music and rough looking people, the father that ran up and down the street making a scene on more than one occasion.

Trying to circle this back to sex and sexuality, which this blog is meant to mostly be about. (But turned into more of a psychological exploration sort of journal) Trying to heal and explore my sexual psyche has mainly shown me firsthand how deeply impactful sexual abuse in early childhood can be. I'd read before on it, and ... Simply never ... It's hard to say, I never thought it could relate to me? A lot of it being denial or outright the traumatic memory being buried due to how young I was. But It's one major part of the pie when I think of the above psychological distortion I felt as a child. But as well, when I think back to first experiencing any sort of sexual sensation or engaged in any sort of sexual fantasy or play. It's hard to even speak of or think back to, with how society talks about these sorts of things. More in a salacious than sympathetic lense, if It's mentioned at all.

(It's the worst just remembering him pressing against me in the classroom and looking up at his weird blank expression and then his smile as he kissed me, and the revulsion I felt and how I just went kind of limp, feeling smothered and confused. It's the most vivid part to me, other than the feeling of his clothes and other stuff. I don't remember if the other boys there also did anything else, or if they just watched or laughed. I know it wasn't the only time, or that he was the only one.)

It's hard to think back to what I felt about it at the time, I think I just shrugged it off as the boys being 'mean' or playing a weird game I didn't like. I remember there was one boy I 'liked' since I thought that's what you were supposed to do as a girl, and what we did I knew was something only boys and girls were supposed to do? I thought on some level it was wrong, but I liked how it made me feel special. I was so lonely, desperate for attention and to feel close to someone. It's disturbing to think I was finger painting and engaging in such things, that I somehow had such knowledge. Standing around the playground, squinting in the cold sunny day, listening to kids talk about seeing pornography on television or who totally did what. I had some vague idea that sex was something 'taboo', which made it exciting to talk and hear about from them. I realize looking back the hypersexual behavior and thought I exhibited as a child that largely went unnoticed, even by myself, It's such a strange background noise that I've long since learned to ignore. It all always felt like everything happened in a television show, something misremembered and shouldn't have been seen anyway. But it was real.

[orlamccools]

the bookstore i work at is connected to a mall via gate, so at the end of the night we bring the gate down and lock it. ppl will sometimes still be milling about in the mall, and the last five minutes are basically you standing there hoping some idiot doesnt come traipsing in. so mac and i are standing there getting ready to close the gate and we see these two teenage boys by the children’s playground which is directly in front of our exit. one of them raises his hand but i dont wave back, bc someone said something over the headset, and when i turn around literally a minute later they are completely gone. i thought that was weird bc teenage boys who want to cause shenanigans dont usually run out but i stepped out and i genuinely couldnt see where they had gone. weird but alrigjt

so later im sitting in the back w my two coworkers as theyre doing closing stuff and we’re all talking and laughing and such when we all distinctly hear a door slam shut. im not talking like it shutting slowly, like it shut with force. everyone else had already left for the night, so i immediately hop up bc my very first thought is “oh, one of the others must have come in”

i run out of the backroom and call their names and then it hits me that duh, the front door is locked, and none of them have keys, so those three people couldnt have come back in. my second thought is then oh god, someone was hiding in the bathroom and theyre gonna try to rob us. so i run around the bookstore like a maniac, trying to see if i can find anyone and i cant. it is completely empty. i check our receiving bay and both bathrooms and theyre also completely clear. there arent too many places you could hide without being seen, so like im confident i didnt miss anyone there, bc inevitably even if we were playing cat and mouse i would have seen them, like it is physically impossible to stay completely out of view when someone else is running around in the way that i did.

so i go back to the back, and tell them i didnt find anyone, and mac is like “well maybe it was a mall cleaner dropping something” and like thats a fair thing to guess bc i did see them cleaning the kids pit but also like. it was very clearly a door closing, all three of us have been here for multiple years and we know what that sounds like. I know what that sounds like. plus, the force of the noise like shook one of the walls, and that wouldn’t have happened if someone dropped something in the unattached, completely free floating kid pit.

so yeah we lock up and leave but im still feeling a little weird abt the incident. ive definitely felt an energy in the store before, and like have had small things that like could be paranormal but also have a plausible explanation but like this genuinely is weirding me out. sure the boys could have gone down one of the side hallways, maybe they were in a hurry and i just didnt see them in time, but like. i know what a door slamming shut sounds like and that’s what i fucking heard. very weird and baffling

just had a bit of a spooky moment at the bookstore

[rocorambles]

Lost and Found

Pairing: Yuji x Reader

Summary: You’ve always wondered what happened to that pink haired boy who had become your closest friend in the very early years of your life and you finally get the answers you’ve been searching for.

A/N: This is for the Anilysium Server’s SFW collab. Masterlist can be found here!

The first thing you notice about Yuji is his pink hair. There are lots of kids your age playing in the park, laughing and talking to each other in the sandbox, on the swings, at the playground. But it’s that shocking head of pink that grabs your attention and with childish innocence and curiosity you make a beeline for the boy you don’t know, ignoring your mom’s warning to stop running. And it’s with embarrassment that your mom chases after you, profusely apologizing to Yuji’s grandfather when you grab a tuft of that soft pink hair in your little fist in awe.

But fortunately for the both of you, the older man just smiles and waves away your mom’s mortification and Yuji giggles, light brown eyes sparking as he grabs a strand of your hair in return, commenting on its color.

It might be the strangest greeting either adult has ever seen, but it seems to work as you both release each other’s hair and instinctively reach for each other’s hands as you race towards the sandbox, chattering about what the two of you can build together with the little plastic buckets and shovels sprawled about.

Yuji’s always been a social child, boys and girls naturally drawing towards his sunny disposition and outgoing nature. So it’s not shocking to see how quickly he’s befriended you. But what is interesting is how attached he is to you and his grandfather smiles in amusement when Yuji instantly searches for you first when he goes to the park each day, flat out ignoring the excited cries from his other friends to join them, either perking up or pouting depending on if you’re there or not. And to both his and your mother’s entertainment, you seem equally enamored. The two adults exchange knowing smiles when you practically drag your mom into a sprint upon seeing your new best friend.

Your parents take turns taking you to the park depending on their work schedules and on the weekends the three of you all go, enjoying a day off as a family. The Itadoris get to know both your parents well and the adults picnic and chat amicably and easily as Yuji and you romp and run around the park.

But it was only a matter of time before your curiosity got the better of you and for once Yuji is quiet when you ask him why it’s always his grandpa who brings him to the park.

“Where’s your mommy and daddy?”

There’s no malicious intent and you quirk your head in confusion when he doesn’t immediately answer what seems like an easy question to you.

“I don’t have a mommy and daddy.”

You’re not sure what to do or think of that reply, so you easily move on to your next question full speed ahead in a way only children can, leaving the weird feeling surrounding Yuji and you far behind. And this time it’s Yuji’s turn to cock his head in confusion with your next inquiry.

“Do you want to get married when you’re older?”

“Married? What’s that?”

“Married like my mommy and daddy! It’s when two people really like each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.”

The concept of a mom and dad aren’t foreign to Yuji. He knows it’s normal, knows he’s the odd man out even at his young age with only a grandpa to take care of him. But he’s never dwelled too much on why he doesn’t have a pair of parents, fully satisfied and happy living with his grandpa.

But marriage...that’s a new concept he can’t quite understand, something he’s never seen firsthand or grown up with in the household. And he listens in awe as you ramble on with your explanation.

Is that why your parents always seem so happy together? Is that why grandpa sometimes seems so sad? Because he isn’t married? Yuji wants to be happy too!

“Let’s get married!”

You stare wide-eyed at the enthusiastic boy staring intently at you, surprised by the decisiveness in his tone.

“I really like you and I want to play together with you forever!”

Well when he puts it like that…

You grab his hands in yours and excitedly nod your head.

“I really like you too! Let’s tell my parents and your grandpa!”

Three sets of mouths gape at the two of you when you determinedly stand in front of where the adults are seated, hands entwined as you announce that the two of you are going to get married. And then there’s laughter and your parents and Yuji’s grandfather are cooing and shaking their heads in amusement at how adorable the two of you are.

“Marriage is for when you’re older, so Yuji and you have to wait a little longer until you get married, okay?”

“Okay!” you both scream before running off to play on the slide, promise already pushed to the back of your little heads as you shriek and giggle about who can get down the slide faster.

Life continues on and despite how months pass and then years, the two of you never tire of each other, only seeming to become closer and closer. So it makes it that much more jarring when Yuji suddenly disappears.

Your parents don’t know what to do, cursing themselves for not exchanging numbers with Yuji’s grandfather and their hearts break watching you patiently sit alone on a park bench, refusing to play with or meet anyone else, telling everyone you’re waiting for your best friend. They hope it’s just a one day thing, but one day becomes two, two becomes three, and when Yuji and his grandfather never appear for an entire month, you also stop going to the park, the location only causing you more distress than good.

Fortunately this happens not too long before you enter middle school and your parents sigh in relief when you become too busy acclimating to a new school environment and making new friends to continue crying over the sudden loss of your best friend. Sadness is more fleeting in your youth and they’re grateful for this, warmly welcoming the new friends you bring back home after school to study with.

You never forget Yuji. You don’t think you could ever completely forget the boy who had been your first ever close friend. But he begins to become a distant fond memory, a mystery you think you’ll never solve. You think of him from time to time, especially as you get older and gossip about cute boys in high school, giggling and asking each other how many kids you want when you’re older, who you’re going to marry.

A wistful smile spreads across your face and you remember how sure you had been as a child that Yuji was going to be your husband, confident promises from two children who didn’t know the first thing about marriage and love. You wonder what he looks like now. Is he as happy and easygoing as he used to be? Is he as loud and talkative? Does he have a girlfriend?

You get your answer sooner than you had expected and you freeze in the middle of the busy Tokyo streets when a familiar shock of pink hair enters your line of sight. The boy’s back is turned to you and you tell yourself you’re being overdramatic. It’s Tokyo. People dye their hair all types of colors now. So what if someone else has pink hair?

But your heart tells you differently. It’s been over a decade since you’ve seen that little boy, but you swear it’s the same exact shade of pink you remember grabbing in your tiny hands back then. And before rationality can catch up to your soul, your body is already moving, drawing closer and closer to that broad back.

“Yuji?”

The name comes out softer than you intended and you wonder if he heard you. But then he’s turning and your throat begins to choke as a pair of familiar light brown eyes lock with yours. There are millions of people in Tokyo, hundreds swarming around the two of you as they make their way to the next destination. But at this moment, it’s only the two of you and before you know it he’s rushing towards you and you gasp at the feeling of a calloused thumb gently brushing your face.

“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s really you.”

You don’t even realize the tears streaming down your face that Yuji is desperately trying to wipe away. Oh, that’s why he looks so blurry right now and you give him a happy watery smile before flinging your arms around him, soul at peace when you feel him return the embrace.

He’s so different from the young boy you knew. Taller, bigger, stronger. And yet, despite the many years that have passed, you can’t help but feel like not much has really changed at all. It feels completely natural for him to lace his fingers with yours like he used to and you let him lead you to a nearby cafe where he prattles on and on about what he’s been up to since you last saw him.

It feels surreal, like a rose tinted dream, and you tightly clutch at his hand even when you’re seated across from each other, afraid that if you let go, he’ll disappear and you’ll wake up all alone again. Turns out he’s just as talkative as he used to be and you find comfort in the familiarity of his tone despite the fact that his voice is a few decibels lower.

His grandfather suddenly got so sick that they needed to send him to a hospital and with no other adults to take care of Yuji, he couldn’t go to the park and tell you what had happened. You only cry harder when Yuji becomes teary eyed himself when he tells you how he went to the park almost everyday when he was old enough to go himself in middle school, hoping to find you so he could explain what had happened all those years ago. And Yuji joins your watery breakdown when you tell him how you waited a month for him (eternity for a young child), how you sat alone and never played with anyone else because you were always hoping that he’d show up again.

When your drinks and food arrive, you sniffle and laugh, drying your eyes, one hand each still firmy locked in each other’s grasp on the table.

“No more crying. We’re going to make up for lost time.”

Your parents are stunned when you bring Yuji back home with you that day and there’s more crying when they find out what had happened and of Yuji’s grandfather’s death. But they’re quick to welcome back the boy in their little family and Yuji becomes a common sight in your household and at your dining table, joining your families for meals and birthdays, studying with you, watching anime and playing video games late into the night, helping your mom with cooking and your dad with chores around the house. And the confirmation that he’s part of the family is only solidified when your parents tell you that all four of you will be going to visit Yuji’s grandfather’s grave together to pay your respects.

There’s not a single dry eye as you all picnic and sit in front of the tombstone and Yuji gratefully accepts the forehead kisses and hugs your parents shower him with, never once letting your hand go as you chat to Itadori-san’s spirit. You give your parents some alone time, letting them talk at length to the old man they had grown so close to while Yuji and you had played.

The two of you reminisce on those carefree days, teasing each other about who can build a bigger sandcastle now. You giggle and ask him if he remembers promising to marry you, joking about how silly and innocent the two of you were then. And you turn to Yuji, expecting to see him laughing with you, but there’s not a hint of humor on his face as he resolutely stares at you, light brown eyes concentrated as they gaze at you.

“I still want to marry you.”

You gape at him, waiting for him to break character, laugh and make fun of your dumbfounded expression. But it never comes and instead he tentatively grabs your hands, holding them in his, thumbs brushing soothingly over your trembling knuckles.

You’ve never seen Yuji nervous before. You don’t think you even thought it was possible for him to be afraid of anything. But standing in front of you, light brown eyes uncharacteristically flitting about as he tries to find adequate words, he looks so vulnerable, so sincere, so genuine. And you wait with bated breath, hope fluttering in your chest.

“I like you, like really like you. I know I said that when we were kids, but it’s still true, just like it was true back then. We lost a decade together and I know we’re still making up for that lost time, but I can’t help but feel like what we have hasn’t changed a bit. If anything I like you even more now…”

He trails off and your chest feels like it’s about to burst in fondness when you watch him trail off, uncertainty and embarrassment obvious in the way he shifts from foot to foot, a pink flush gracing his cheeks.

“I like you too, Yuji. Like...really like you.”

You giggle at the pout he gives you at the teasing tone of your voice as you use his words against him. But then it’s your turn to shift your weight from side to side as you also try to wrap your tongue around the feelings Yuji’s stirred inside of you since your reunion.

“I think I know exactly what you mean. We aren’t little kids who only run around and play in sandboxes and playgrounds anymore. There’s a giant gap between then and now that we’re trying to bridge. But I feel like reuniting at this age and seeing how well and easily we connect even now only makes me like you even more. It’s like our souls have grown together in a way despite the distance, like we were always destined to be joined at the hips.”

You stifle a chuckle at the way Yuji perks up, looking all the world like an eager puppy who’s spotted their precious owner, anxious energy surrounding him as he waits on your next words.

“So I guess what I’m saying is TBD on marriage, but if you’ll have me, I’d like to try dating.”

Your sentence isn’t even fully complete before you watch in mortification and giddiness at how quickly Yuji drops to one knee, the picture perfect of a man about to propose (if it weren’t for both your high school uniforms making it very obvious that this isn’t a typical marriage proposal).

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

There’s only one answer and you simply utter a “yes” that turns into a squeal as Yuji practically lunges at you, sweeping you in his arms and twirling you around.

[arrowflier]

lmao we need the story now of Ian sitting in Mickey’s lap at the bench to piss of the housewife! 😂 love ur stories xx 💋

Expansion of a moment alluded to here. It got extra silly.

They’re stumbling home early one morning after practically spending the night at the Alibi Room, tossing back shots with the Gallaghers in celebration of Carl and his police partner securing the deed. Even with a handful of cops among them—can’t believe this place is a fucking pig pen now, jesus Gallagher—they had both enjoyed themselves, content that Carl wouldn’t let anyone mess with his family. Hell, Tipping wouldn’t either—he’d been staying in touch since he crashed their anniversary, and seemed to love having a couple of ex-con pals to shoot the shit with on a Friday night.

Ian stumbles as they get closer, nearing the edge of the park they take Franny and Fred to sometimes when they babysit, and Mickey grabs him around the waist with a laugh.

“Watch it,” he giggles. “You’re fuckin’ hammered, man.”

Ian twists so that they’re holding each other, swaying awkwardly as he gets his arms around his husband.

“Gonna hammer you,” he slurs, before nearly falling on his ass when Mickey pulls back with a snort.

“Gonna fucking hurt yourself is what you’re gonna do,” he disagrees, grinning. “You’re such a lightweight.”

Ian pouts, but Mickey just takes his hand and leads him farther into the park until they come to a worn stone bench, which he shoves Ian down onto unceremoniously.

“Sit down before you fall down, tough guy,” he orders after the fact, then pushes a pliant Ian over until there’s space to sit down next to him.

It’s pretty quiet this early as they sit together in a silence broken only by the occasional hiccup from Ian. There are a few kids on the playground already a short distance away, surprising for 6AM but not unheard of. The sun is up already, but weak, and it casts faint shadows that play over Ian’s face and hair as Mickey looks at him. It brings out the the varied highlights, making it look like a rainbow viewed through a red lens, and Mickey can’t help but reach up to run a hand through it.

Ian hums, and leans sleepily into the touch. Lightweight or not, now that they’re still, he’s coming down fast.

“Got some weird fuckin’ memories here, man,” Mickey says suddenly, eying the bench they're sitting on. It's familiar, and he runs fingers over the grooves left behind by someone's knife. Probably his old man's.

“Bad ones?” Ian asks, and he can feel Mickey shake his head.

“Nah,” he answers. “Not really. Just…weird,” he repeats. After a beat, he lets go of Ian and turns to face him on the bench. “Wanna help me make some better ones?” he asks, and Ian grins and leans in.

Their kisses are soft and light, a little sloppy with lingering drunkenness, lips tasting of cheap ale and stale breath. It’s perfect.

“Excuse me,” someone says loudly next to them, and they break apart. Mickey doesn’t grace the interruption with his attention, settling instead for stroking a hand up Ian’s back, but Ian turns to look at the woman who spoke.

She’s dressed in a sleek black tracksuit with pink lines down the side, bleached hair tied up in a stern bun on top of her head above a thick, velvety headband. One hand is on her hip, the other resting on the handle of a designer stroller, one of those fancy ones that looks like an old Victorian pram but with UV protection and a vented base. Ian tries not the grimace at the idea that it’s probably fucking wifi enabled or something, and could feed his entire family for months if they hawked it.

“Can I help you?” he asks anyway, just to be polite—though his tone is anything but, thanks to his diminished faculties. He doesn’t want to be an asshole, though, whether he likes the gentrifiers taking over his home or not.

Then she opens her mouth, and he immediately reconsiders that stance.

“Could you not do that around the children?” she says pointedly, gesturing to the playground a few feet away where a handful of kids are scrambling over the jungle gym.

That gets Mickey’s hackles up.

“Could you not mind your own fuckin’ business?” he returns, dropping his hand from Ian’s back to make a rude gesture.

The woman scoffs at them, and makes a gesture of her own. “It’s my business what you show my kids,” she tells him haughtily. “This is a family space.”

Ian looks from the woman to his husband, whose eyebrows are climbing his face, and makes a decision.

“Of course, sorry,” he says, ignoring the way Mickey’s head snaps back to look at him. “We’re being so rude, taking up this whole bench when families might need it.”

Mickey starts to grin, catching on when Ian gets up. His hands find Ian’s hips, keeping his steady as he plops right down into his lap.

“That’s not what I—” the woman starts, stunned by the display, but they’ve both stopped listening. Ian leans in and and licks obnoxiously up the side of Mickey’s neck, reveling in the disgusted sound that the woman makes, then Mickey is turning his head and capturing his mouth in a much more thorough kiss than what they had exchanged before.

They don’t even notice when she calls her kids over, two toddlers in matching designer play-clothes meekly coming when called. They don’t notice when they leave, the woman trying to keep the children’s backs to them as they walk away. They do notice the way she trips over the curb on her way out of the park, but they just huff a laugh into their kiss and keep going until she’s out of sight.

Mickey is finally the one to pull back, stroking Ian’s face with his thumb as he does.

“That was kinda hot, Gallagher,” he admits. “Gotta get you drunk and riled up more often.”

Ian laughs, pressing his face into Mickey’s neck where he leaves a chaste kiss.

“Don’t think that’s gonna be a problem with all these rich fucks moving in,” he offers, “but if you get me home, I’ll give you a sneak preview of what’ll happen next time.”

Mickey’s grin is slow and wicked. “Got yourself a deal, tough guy,” he says. “Let’s get your ass home.”

[abundanceofnots]

a little (just under 2k) playground scene with Lip and Ian as dads, as per @pink--and--white's request. i apologize to all actual parents in advance.

“How the fuck did we get here?” Lip asks through a huff of incredulous laughter.

Ian shades his eyes from the sun, turning to his older brother with a look of mock concern. “Your memory that bad already, old man? We drove here.”

It earns him a stinging smack on his thigh.

“Asshole,” Lip retorts back. “You know what I mean.”

Ian’s eyes flit back to the scene before them. “Yeah, I do,” he confirms a beat later, his voice more earnest this time.

This, by far, isn’t a new feeling. Lip’s had the exact same thought pass through his mind countless times in recent years, always in a momentary flash of warmth that filled up his whole chest. It happens all the more often now over the most mundane shit, though.

The first time was, probably, when Freddie was born. Then Ian got married, and Al came along, and Liam got to a good school—and after that followed every other quiet (not literally) evening when the whole family gathered up in the kitchen.

In those instants, Lip would stall himself for just a second, getting lost in the overwhelming sounds and visuals, and think, what the fuck.

He’s getting soft. That’s it, most likely. He’s getting soft and sentimental, going on with his extremely unexceptional life, wondering how in the hell did a piece of shit like himself get so lucky, and slowly becomes someone he’d gladly punch in the face not too long ago.

It hits him hard again, this strange sense of pride and wonder, as he sits next to his baby brother on a bench overlooking a kids’ playground.

This one’s the real deal. Everything here is child-proof and clean, with no syringe or dogshit in sight. Frank or some random homeless guy aren’t lying in a drunken coma by the swing sets. There’s not even one bullet hole in the slide. And maybe it’s not so hard to admit that this is actually pretty nice. That this is them now.

Still, the whole thing is, without a doubt, totally ridiculous. Here they are, Lip and Ian—the college dropout and the ex-con, the true sons of the South Side—sneakily munching on their kids’ packed afternoon snacks.

“Dumb luck, I guess,” Ian answers Lip’s question after some musing and takes a sip from Toe’s pink-colored juice box.

Lip hmms before he bites into a baby carrot. “For us, or them?”

“For us. Definitely.”

They’re just two regular dads who carry around lunchboxes and always have a wet wipe or a pack of tissues at hand, ready to blow noses and wipe off residue chocolate from chins and hands. There aren’t enough words in the English language that would describe how incredibly ridiculous this is, because once upon a time, not too long ago, still, Ian wore a jumpsuit with Dav on the nametag and believed this was it for him, and Lip thought the only way to get through life was by drinking himself through the ordeal.

How the fuck did they get here?

“Freddie! Hey, Freddie!” Lip calls out to his oldest, who hangs upside down from the monkey bars, effectively ignoring him. “Fred!” he tries again with an annoyed sigh, and the boy finally remembers how his ears work. “Can you help your cousin on the slide?”

“Okay!”

With a swift motion, Freddie pulls himself up again to grab hold of a bar, unhooking his knees in the process, and jumps down into the sand with practiced ease. He then immediately gets into a run, coming behind the red-headed girl in black overalls who’s been trying to climb the gentle ramp on her own.

“What was that about?” Ian inquires amusedly.

“Early puberty, I think. He doesn’t want us to call him Freddie anymore. It’s Fred. No Fredster, no Fredtastic, definitely no Fredosaurus. Just Fred. Apparently, I went to bed, and my son turned into a middle-aged man overnight.”

“Oof. That’s rough.”

“Yeah. The next thing I know, he’s gonna get a neck tattoo and his first STI. Al, buddy!” His younger son Alvin, at least, seems to have no trouble with hearing. “You need help? Want me to push you?”

“No, I’m good!” the blond kid shouts back from the swing, and to prove his point, he pushes himself harder off the ground to gain momentum.

Lip scratches his forehead. “They don’t need me anymore,” he comments darkly. “I am officially a bother.”

“You’ve always been a bother,” Ian notes before he stuffs his mouth full of grapes. “Come on, Lip. Freddie’s eight. He’s not exactly packing his bags to leave home. He’s still very much a daddy’s boy.”

“I don’t know, man. When I remember what I was already doing when I was his age….”

“Yeah, but that’s different. They’re not like us. They don’t need to be, and that’s a good thing.”

Ian’s right, but the concept of normal as something desirable, something he doesn’t necessarily need to rebel against, is something Lip may never fully come to grasps with. And neither does Ian, even if he says otherwise.

“We might be getting a dog,” Lip says after a while, pausing before he sinks his teeth into a cheese stick.

“No way!” Ian smirks at him. “Look at you, perfect American family and shit.”

Lip snorts at that. He and Tami are pretty damn far from perfect. “You not thinking about getting a pet? A friendly rottweiler for Mickey, perhaps?”

“No. First, I gotta talk him into having another kid.”

That takes Lip by surprise. He knows Ian absolutely adores his little girl, his mini ginger twin that everyone got to call Toe, short for Tomato, but he also knows the whole story behind how she came to be.

“Oh, yeah? You’d like another?”

“Yeah,” Ian admits, and as his eyes drop to his lap where his fingers fiddle with a paper straw, Lip realizes he sounds ashamed about it.

“Not as easy as poking holes in condoms with you guys, huh?” he jokes to release the sudden tension.

“Hah. No.”

“You told Mickey yet?”

Meeting his brother’s eyes again, Ian gives a noncommittal shrug. “I hinted.”

From experience, Lip knows that hinting in Ian’s case almost exclusively means Mickey is fully aware of his intentions and just chooses to ignore them before Ian confronts him head-on.

“Hopefully, you’ll have another girl,” he tells Ian after a quiet moment filled with children’s high-pitched screams and the steady screeching of a swing set. “It’s a lot more physical with boys. These two are already fighting like we used to.”

“Doesn’t really matter when you’re raising a Milkovich,” Ian remarks before yelling: “Hey, Toe? You wanna have a sip of your juice for me?”

The girl waves at them eagerly as she slides down the bendy chute. Getting to a run right as her feet touch the ground, she comes to a jolty halt in front of them, taking a good, hard look at the juice box as if only now realizing what’s expected of her.

“No, thank you,” Toe then peeps and skips off again.

“Polite,” Lip appraises.

Ian gives a low chuckle. “Fuckin’ weird, huh?”

“With Mickey as her dad? A little.”

They watch the kids play for a few minutes. Ian offers to exchange a cheese stick for three grapes, and Lip negotiates it up to five before agreeing.

“You think he’d be against it? Having another kid?” he asks Ian mid-chew.

“I mean, I wouldn’t blame him, after all the shit with Terry. Maybe with a second kid, he’d think there’d be twice the damage he could do. Dunno,” Ian surmises uncertainly. “I know how hard it was for him to even want a kid, and I get why he was scared. Don’t get me wrong, I’m shitting myself every day when I think of the ways I could fuck this up. But he’s a great dad. You saw him with Toe. She’s obsessed with him. The way she laughs at everything he says makes you think he invented comedy or something.”

Lip’s aware that their conversation turned sort of serious once again, but he can’t help not breaking into a smile. “Sounds like you’re kinda jealous of your husband there, Ian.”

“Oh, I hate his guts,” his brother confirms, only partially kidding. “I’m a fun dad, too, you know.” As if on cue, a figure coming their way catches his attention, and Ian nods to where his daughter’s playing, telling Lip: “Okay, watch this.”

Mickey gestures at Freddie with a finger to his lips, coming around the slide just in time to catch his daughter in his arms with a victorious roar.

“Daddy!” Toe announces the good news to everyone around with a loud squeal.

Ian gives his brother a pointed look.

“Fuck, man,” Lip huffs with mock seriousness. “You tellin’ me she loves her dad? What a nightmare.”

“Yo, lunch ladies.” Mickey suddenly approaches them with Toe at his hip. “How ’bout less chit-chatting and more kid-watching? Think I’d remember if I left my kid with a giant fuckin’ bruise on her forehead this morning.”

“Yeah. She’s had a bit of a scuffle with Alvin earlier,” Ian says, reaching out to soothingly rub Toe’s calf as if said scuffle and the tears it brought weren’t already long forgotten.

“The hell’s he doin’ fightin’ someone half his size?!”

“She started it!” Lip counters weakly.

“Okay.” Mickey’s mouth hangs open for a minute before he finds his figurative footing again. “I guess she had her reasons for that. And you should teach your kids to not fight dirty.”

“I go play now,” Toe informs him then, putting a stop to his rant and his bad mood in one go.

“Yeah! You do that!” Mickey replies as he puts her down, matching her level of enthusiasm. She heads for the extensive pirate-ship-like construction this time, watchful cousin Freddie already on her heels, and Mickey drops heavily next to his husband, letting out a prolonged groan into his hands.

“Tough day?” Ian asks needlessly.

“Igor’s a fuckin’ idiot.”

“Told you he was.”

“And I agree, so drop it, a��ight? Hey, by the way.”

“Hey,” Ian echoes before they exchange a quick kiss.

Mickey notices the juice in his hands then and perks up. “That raspberry?” he checks after he’s already snagged the box for himself, taking loud slurps from it to get every last drop. He finishes off with a belch. “Fuckin’ love raspberry.”

Lip finds that anything he’d say at that moment would only spoil the natural fucking beauty of it, so he just appreciates with a private snicker.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Toe yells from the top of one of the pirate ship’s smaller slides. “Come play!”

Mickey pats at Ian’s thigh. “That’s on you, man. I’m beat.”

Putting his fun-dad face on, Ian heaves himself up without a complaint. “Hey, jellybean! Do you think your dad can fit on the slide, too?”

Toe shakes her head vehemently, giggling as she watches Ian jog toward her. “No, daddy! No! No!”

“What, you don’t think I can?” Ian asks again, halfway through his climb up on the board. “Well, take off your socks now because they might get blown off! I’mma fit!”

“Daddy!” Toe howls with laughter as he bumps his head on one of the low railings.

Beside Lip, Mickey imitates the reaction, both his hand and the phone he’s holding with it to record a video visibly shaking. When he notices Lip staring, his grin falters a little.

“These two jokers,” Mickey complains after he ends the recording. “She always laughs at everything he does like he invented comedy or some shit.”

Lip answers with a knowing smile, his chest feeling full of warmth.

Seriously, how the fuck did they get here?

[sadlysoulx]

HAIKYUU CHARACTERS GOING TO IKEA

Part 2 (w/ Hinata, Kageyama, Sakusa, Oikawa, Ushijima and Tendou)

I really really like the idea of haikyuu boys going to Ikea, the part 1 is on my account so pls feel free to read it. As u can see. . . Double post😏😏😏 I want to spoil y'all coz ur my bbs😌✨ please enjoy ❤️ THANK YOU FOR 49 FOLLOWERS 😭💓✨

Hinata

Please this ball of sunshine's never been excited to go to a furniture shop

He likes it because he loves picking up mysterious tools.

GURLLL, THE MOMMENT YOU STEPPED IN IKEA HE GOT LOST😭

You got so nervous coz you can't find your boyfriend in the sea of people.

That is until the speakers blared out, saying:

"L/N Y/N, please come to the office, your child has been found,"

And you were like: wait I have a child???👀👄👀

But then you figured it's probably Hinata

So you went in the office to see Hinata pretending to crying his eyes out

And then when he looked up, he said to the staff:

"yeah. . . That's my mom,"

You:👁️👄👁️

Employees:👁️ᴗ👁️

Hinata: 👁️〰️👁️

After that, you made sure Hinata doesn't leave your sight.

He sat in that cart where your supposed to hang the yellow ikea bag.

Hinata likes to point to things you don't need and tries to convince you to buy them.

"Y/N. . . Please! Look it's so cool, you just have to spin this and then your pencil would be sharpened!"

"Ooooooh! Y/N we need to get that folding table!"

"WOW! Y/N, Y/N, babe! Look at that sofa that can turn into a bed, let's have one!"

But ofcourse you didn't buy them🙅

After buying things you need, you went to the Ikea food court to have lunch.

This baby likes the kiddie meal where you are given a colored plate filled with nuggets and french fries.

Please, Kuroo and Bokuto had a huge influence on him since they also like kiddie meals.💀

He also likes the Ikea meatballs<3

But then after that, he convinced you to let him go to the Ikea Kid playground.

Since he's a small baby, the Ikea staff let him in😭😭😭

(pretend there's no height limit)

Your watched through the window outside as he played.

He settled in the pool of plastic balls playing with other kids.

And then he went up climbing the big dust pan with those ropes and surrounded by plastic balls😖

He watched cartoons with other kids❤️

But then he immediately went out because he made a kid cry by accidentally cursing at them💀

Hinata may be a fluff ball but sometimes Tsukishima is a bad influence for him 🤦🏻‍♀️

Kageyama

ಠ_ಠ expression always on

When you wanted to show him something and ask if it's nice, he would nod and just be like: ಠ_ಠ

Seriously, when you show him a kitchen knife, he would nod and say:

"It's nice you should buy it,"💀

When you show him a useless kitchen tool, he would nod and say to buy it.

Help this boi✋🏻😭

He doesn't know how to shop😭

Buuuuut when it comes or the bedroom area, he would sit on it and lay down.

Kageyama would drag you on the bed and make you lay down beside him, not caring if people gave you weird looks❤️

He keeps on insisting to get a new matress because the one he's laying on is soft.

And then he mentioned how you need to buy a new bedframe because the both of you broke the ones in the house.😃

BECAUSE YOU WERE JUMPING ON THE BED SEEING WHO CAN JUMP THE HIGHEST.

He was bored whenever you stop by to check something out

So he stands behind you like🕴️

And one time he accidentally made a kid cry😭

He just tried to make the baby laugh with "funny faces"

But then he ended up making them cry¯\_( ˘_˘)_/¯

You know that part of Ikea where there are really tall shelves with full of boxes?? Yeah that one

It's so adorable how he looks up at them with his chin up in the air like how a child would look up on an airplane 😖❤️

Oh yeah and he insists on buying those cute tent playhouse 🎪. 😃

He even begs on his knees for you to accept to buy it.

When you stopped to eat, he wants to push the food cart for you, he find it exciting to out on the trays of the cart😣

he always go back to the line to get another carton of milk

He came back 3 times, back and forth just to buy another milk🤦🏻‍♀️

Kageyama likes the yogurt that Ikea sells, he likes the strawberries and berries decorated on top of it.

He doesn't have his own plate of food, he wants to share with you✌️

Sakusa

He doesn't want to go

But reader-senpai is so stubborn so you insist

He didn't want to go so you finally gave up, leaving him in your shared apartment.

But then at the last minute, he said he wanna come.

Yoomi-bby doesn't want people to touch you or even ask for your number.

What's his is only his so no SHARING 😤

He always scolds you on stop picking up things on everything you see.

So every time you drop the item, he sprays your hands with alcohol

Coz he doesn't want his baby to be sick😪

But when the both of you reached the bathroom/toilet models, he literally switched.

He finds them interesting😃

Like how the bathroom models are beautifully designed.

He finds it funny when the inside of the toilet is covered with plastic, so no one would really poop or pee in it

He laughs so cute 😖❤️

He laughs for straight 2 minutes and you don't really care, he's just adorable.

Please he collects Ikea pencils 😭

He takes more when he saw another Ikea pencil and ruler stall.

And then take some random paper and draws on it out of boredom.

He drew you😞

It wasn't the best but it's cute how he tries hard.

Kiyoomi also find the chair sections interesting.

He likes the rocking chairs and said that he would get one

How could you say no?❤️

He payed for it easily and it would be delivered in the apartment this night.

💸RICH BOI 💸

When you are in the rugs and mats section, he likes touching the furry ones

"Look Y/N! it's really soft. . . Touch it,"

But then he told you to leave the area immediately because it smells weird👁️👄👁️

It came from those leather and those cow skin looking matts💀

When lunch rolls by, he likes to watch kids playing in the playground 😣

He eats fancy so don't be surprised if you see him use knife and fork so expertly and eat steak with some sauce.

He gets so excited when going home because he can finally set up the rocking chair 💀

Oikawa

He loves shopping!

I can sense it, he radiates the vibes, you can't change my mind.

He picks up everything he sees and put in the cart.

And you have to get those things from the cart and put it back because you don't need them💀

He whines about how he needs all of them

And you have to remind him that they would just stay in the storage room like how the other things ended up he brought last time.

But nuh-uh

🎶He sees it, he likes it, he want it, he got it🎶

🎶I want it, I got it, I want it, I got it🎶

"Y/N-chan, I'll buy it with my own money! You don't have to worry about it!"

You know what are the things he buys?

A whole chandelier, an emergency lamp that charges by spinning the ledge, a WHOLE cabinet, some kitchen utensils–he doesn't cook💀 and some more things. . .😐

He actually bought the whole Ikea 😭

But then he came up to you and ask if you can buy him those dog stuff toys.

He pouted for it.

You gave in and bought two stuff toys for you and him❤️

And then you remembered why he asked you to buy it for him when he had no problem to pay the expensive things he wanted.🙄

"So that it would be special, Y/N, look it came from you!"

He likes the candle section.

He specifically likes the scented ones.🕯️

Oikawa keeps picking them up and smelling them😭

He ended up adding to cart once again🤦

He made a delivery truck deliver all the things he bought to your house.

Ofcourse he would, he 💸rich💸

After that you both ate

And he just had to insist on you feeding him because he wanted to make the lonely teen across him jealous 😭😭😭 slskskjfgh

He likes the bread bowls

No he doesn't put soup in them

He just likes the bread.

You don't have to go back to Ikea for a whole year because you remembered Oikawa bought the whole store.

Ushijima

He just follows you everywhere, stoic and not saying anything 😐

When you stop to check on something he'll be like🕴️behind you

He also picks up some things that interests him😖

And if her finds something weird, he'll pick it up also and try to find out how to use it

But he ends up breaking it, so he quickly put it back and walk back to you😭

He holds your hand and look around as if he's a lost puppy ❤️

Waka-waka takes those paper rulers and roll them into a tight roll💀 please I do that everytime

He also collects those Ikea brochures and still takes another one even though you have a lot at home 😃

You know those yellow banners that hung from the ceiling with the prizes labeled on it??

Like kenma from part 1, he jumps and hits it with his fingertips aww

He's a huge baby🤭

Until he breaks it and made it fall on the floor💀

The both of you quickly run away before a staff scolds you both

Everytime other time, out of the blue, he would hug you, telling how much you mean to him😢

You know those fake windows in house models where it's actually just wallpapers lightened up from underneath??

He thrash talked about who taught about it because it didn't look too realistic 💀

He likes the kitchen section because the kitchen tools amazes him nd he cooks in the house,sooo¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ushijima points at the things he find interesting and talk about them to you

"hey. . .Y/N. . . That thing is so cool, it can turn into a bed from a sofa. . ."

ANDDDD

He also likes the outdoor/garden section.❤️

He has his mini garden and he plants succulents😩

So he puts soils and other plant materials he needed for planting like pots and shovels.

He buys you plastic flowers too💀

It's not real but hey! At least it came from someone you really really love😏

He buys you unnecessarily a lot of those too😃

buys you things you needed, anything you want, he'll buy for you. . .

He'll just take out his credit card💳

When lunch comes, he always take the fruit salad because he likes it.

He would also feed you his own food•//////•

Ushjima always likes the fish with that kind of sauce

He shares food

So take it or leave it 😤

Tendou

Baki Baki ni oreeeee~

I love this boi, I don't get why people see him as a monster😤

Oki oki, he is sooooo excited to go around ikea

He takes a lot of the Ikea magazines

"it's free! So why not take many?"

He literally skips around beside you and gets excited over small things

"Ooooooh, Y/N! A rechargable light bulb!"

"Y/N! Y/N! Come here! Look, it's a chandelier that opens and closes!!"

He is very curious about things so make sure you stir him away from the kitchen section because that's where most of the weirdest things are.

Somehow you'd still end up in the kitchen section

He saw this weird looking scissors and he doesn't know what are the other features for.

You told him to drop it because he might hurt himself.

But no, he just had to figure out what is is for💀

He ended up hurting himself from toying around a scissors that separates each leg so that it can become a knife.

Of course he did hurt himself🤦

He run up to you, whimpering

And you just have to scold him😐

One time he got so curious about what that heavy door was for and he opened it

The alarm started going off🚨💀

IT WAS AN EMERGENCY DOOR

You made sure you don't let Tendou out of your sight again

When you stopped for lunch, you let him control the food cart.

But he accidentally pushed an old lady infront of the line with it.

Don't worry Gran is fine👵

What's with Haikyuu characters always liking kiddie meals?!😭

Yeah yeah he likes them❤️

But then when you two settled down to finally eat

He screamed why is his plate color is green, he wants red😭

You told him to finish his food quickly or else you'll leave him there

So both of you finished quickly and Satori wants to go home as fast as possible because he said he has a concert in his shower💀💀💀

My hands hurts😐

Anyways thank you for staying till the end❤️

Every like, reblogs and follow is appreciated 😏

This is my work so please don't steal in any way, not even turning it into a tiktok😐

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

[headheartbellarke]

EIGHTEEN | Charlie Gillespie

PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x sister’s best friend!fem reader

WARNING(s): mentions of abuse, trauma, fluff

WORDS: 3.9k

SUMMARY: “So kiss me where I lay down

My hands pressed to your cheeks

A long way from the playground

I have loved you since we were 18

Long before we both thought the same thing

To be loved and to be in love

All I can do is say that these arms

Are made for holding you.”

READ ON AO3 

OR READ HERE BELOW

    Charlie smiles, watching the sunlight dance on Y/N’s face, almost like little splashes of golden paint. She hums to whatever song is playing through her earphones, a faint smile teasing the corners of her lips. Her eyes are closed, and Charlie marvels at how peaceful and serene she looks. Her h/c hair surrounds her head like a halo, and he is tempted to reach forward and press a kiss to her temple.

  He doesn’t do that, of course. Instead, he gets up from his couch and joins Y/N on the floor, lying beside her. Her eyelashes flutter at his movement and quaint, kind e/c eyes hold his stare, eyebrows raised in question.

  “I thought you said that you were too mighty for the floor.” She teases, biting her lower lip to hide a smile. Charlie almost melts at that.

  “I never said that. Is everything okay up there?” He points his index finger at her head.

  The young woman of nineteen laughs mockingly. “Why, afraid you’re rubbing off your crazy on me?”

  Charlie rolls his eyes, and shifts closer to her, their arms touching slightly – and even that slight touch makes him feels butterflies in his stomach. It’s not uncommon, of course. Ever since he realized that he is indeed in love with her, anything that she does gives him butterflies. He doesn’t mind, of course – but he hates the fact that he is unable to tell her what effect she has on him. So, he resorts to ignoring or suppressing everything he feels for his little sister’s best friend instead.

  She pulls out an ear pod from her left ear and shoves it into Charlie’s ear. Eastside. She’s had this song on repeat, ever since she came to visit him in Vancouver, where he’s filming for the first season of Julie and The Phantoms.

  “I love this song. Reminds me of my first boyfriend. Remember him?” She says, softly.

  “Aaron. How could I forget? You begged me to cover for you at home so you could hang out with him.” He says, smiling softly at the memory. They were so young, Y/N just fourteen, and him sixteen. He remembers Y/N sitting beside him on the couch while he was watching a movie, all flushed and bothered, eyes continuously flitting to Charlie. He remembers saying, “I know you’re dying to tell me something.”

  She had nodded, looking around the Gillespies’ living room where they were currently seated in, apprehensively. “Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

  He had jutted out his pinky finger and wrapped it around hers. “Never.”

  “I think I really, really, super-duper like Aaron.”

  “Aaron as in your next-door neighbor?”

  “Yep.”

  Charlie had smirked. “He’s such a dork. I can’t believe that you like him.”

  “Shut up, Char. He’s the sweetest.”

  He chuckled. “His hobby is taking pictures of trees… if that doesn’t scream ‘dork’, then I don’t know what does.”

  She had glared at him while Megan had entered the room, plopping down on the couch beside Charlie. “What’s up?”

  “I’m telling him about Aaron, and he thinks that he’s a dork.”

  Megan shrugged. “What’s wrong with that? He’s really cute. Also, he was asking about you today.”

  “Really?” Y/N’s eyes brightened. Charlie laughed, shaking his head. “You girls are weird. But I approve. He’s a nice kid.”

  “I wasn’t looking for your approval?”

  “Yes, you were.”

  The girls had rolled their eyes at him and he had wrapped his arms around the two.

  Y/N’s voice brings him back to the present. “Simple times.”

  Charlie faces her. “Everyone after him were horrible.”

  She narrows her eyes at the boy beside her. “No, you were just too overprotective.”

  “Nope. They were all horrible.”

  They weren’t. Charlie just hated anyone who showed an interest in Y/N. At first, he thought that it was probably because he had literally watched her grow up. But a couple of months later, when he watched her kiss Levitt from the swim team, he had felt a smoldering rage rise in his stomach, along with his heart clenching. That day, he had realized that maybe there was more to it than watching her grow up. A couple more months later, on his eighteenth birthday, when she had kissed him on his cheek and handed him a present wrapped in shiny, blue paper, he had felt butterflies in his stomach. He also could feel the ghost of her delicate lips against his skin for days after, like the remnants of a fire brushing against his cheek.

  When he unwrapped the present, he found a vintage, hardbound copy of his favorite book, Les Misérables, along with a note, saying: ‘I might’ve read your journal. Only the part about how much you loved hardcovers and the part about how much you hated the fact that no bookstores nearby sold it. Well, I also might’ve read the part about how frustrated you are with microwave timers. I feel you, dude. But, yeah, remember when I said that I was going to visit my sister in Montoc? I lied, LOL. I went to a vintage bookstore in Fredericton. I’m sorry for lying, but ‘twas for a good reason, huh? Hope you like this. Also, you’re my second favorite person, after Meg. Happy 18th, Charles. Love, Y/N.’

  That moment he had realized that he was completely, utterly, truly, madly, deeply in love with his little sister’s best friend.

  It’s been about three years since that, and he still hasn’t told her how he feels.

  Now, Y/N looks at him, and rolls her eyes. “Sheesh.”

  She props herself on her elbow. “When are we going out today?”

  “Jeremy said that he made a reservation at 6. So, we’ll leave half an hour earlier.”

  “Okay. Is Owen going with us?”

  “Yeah. I don’t trust him to drive in Canada.”

  She grins. “He’s cool.”

  “Maybe sometimes.”

  “Savannah and Madi are the coolest, though.”

  “Definitely, yeah.”

  “You never told me that you had a cute roomie, though.”

  “Yeah – wait what?”

  Y/N flashes him a teasing smile and pushes herself upward with the palm of her hands. She brushes off her yoga pants and extends an arm to Charlie who is currently panicking inside.

  “Do you like Owen?”

  “What if I do?”

  Charlie must have looked as horrified as he had felt because she laughs and says, “I’m just messing with you.”

  “Thank god.”

***

  “Finally!” Y/N yells, kicking off her black, leather heels, which land near Charlie’s feet. He laughs, kicking them to the side.

  “You’re so dramatic.”

  “I dare you to wear heels like that for a day. See how you feel.”

  Owen pipes from behind them, closing the door to their apartment. “Oh, I did. My friend Dani made me wear them for a video. It was the most painful day of my life.”

  “See!” Y/N high fives his roommate as Charlie scrunches up his face. “How’d she find heels in your size, dude?”

  He laughs, and extends an arm toward the other two, who hand him their coats, muttering ‘thank you’ individually. He walks inside, yelling, “I’m fucking tired. Going to sleep.”

  “Don’t forget to check the stove!” Charlie yells back, hearing his roommate affirm his request.

  It’s just the two of them standing in the foyer now, and Charlie can’t stop staring at her. She’s wearing this beautiful red dress that compliments her skin perfectly, clinging to her body in all the right places – he had himself gifted her this dress on her nineteenth birthday. (Not really. His mother had picked the dress.)

  She hasn’t noticed him staring, though.

  “Ugh, I can’t wait to get out of this dress.” She walks inside.

  Charlie pauses and purses his lips, trying to stop himself from picturing him doing it. He breathes out raggedly and follows her inside – trying (and failing) to shove that mental picture away.

  Reaching the living room, he falls back onto the couch, which has been his bed for the past few days that Y/N has been here. She had protested, of course. But she already has so much trouble sleeping – she’s had it ever since she was a child.

  Y/N hadn’t had the best childhood. Charlie faintly remembers his mom pulling him and his sister into the kitchen one day when Y/N left their house after spending the whole day there.

  “Mom? What happened to Y/N?” Megan had asked, childlike innocence dripping off her tone.

  Charlie had nodded, saying, “How’d she fall down the stairs? That bruise looked nasty.”

  Their mother had sighed, and Charlie still remembers the pain in her eyes. “Honey. I want you to listen carefully, okay? And not tell anyone. You two think you can do that?”

  They nodded enthusiastically.

  “There are good people in this world – like Y/N. But there are also bad people, people who hurt the good people. And sometimes, sometimes, your parents can also be bad people.”

  “That’s not true!” Megan had protested, their mother smiling.

  “Maybe not for you. I hope so. But Y/N’s parents – they aren’t the best people, okay? They…uh… I’m not going to excuse their actions. They, uh, hurt Y/N.”

  “So, they pushed her down the stairs?” Charlie asked, his eyes widened. He could not understand how the people that loved you the most could do that to you, especially to someone like Y/N. He’s known her his entire life, ever since the Y/L/Ns moved next door when he was still in diapers.

  “I don’t know. Something happened. She was too shaken up to talk about it.”

  “But – but – she’s the best person ever! Why would her mom and dad do that to her?” Megan had protested, eyes welling with tears at the thought of her best friend getting hurt.

  “I don’t know, honey. I wish I did, I really do.” Their mother paused for a long moment. “I want you two to always be nice to her, alright? No matter what happens. Because, right now, she feels alone. I can see it in her eyes – she’s scared, confused, lonely. I know you two love her so much, and I want you guys to make sure that she knows it, okay? Make sure that she never feels lonely, all right? Make sure that she’s always safe and comfortable, as long as she’s with us, you.”

  They had nodded, their hearts welling up with love for their friend.

  After their mother hugged the two of them, Charlie’s twelve-year-old sister had run off to the other room, to call her best friend and tell her just how much she loves her.

  Charlie had lingered in the kitchen, too sad over what he’d just been told.

  “Maman?”

  “Yes, honey?”

  “Can’t we just keep her for ourselves?”

  “If we could, we would. I would like nothing more. But that’s absolutely not legal, mon chéri.”

  “Oh. That’s unfair.”

  His mother had flashed him a sad smile. He had taken both of his hands in his, and said sincerely, “I promise you, maman. I’m always gonna protect her. No matter what.”

  His mother had pressed a kiss into his tousled hair and whispered, “I expect nothing less.”

  It’s been more than seven years since, but Charlie still does everything in his power to make sure that she is always safe and happy.

  “Hey, Char?” Her voice brings him back from his childhood.

  “Yeah?”

  “That couch doesn’t look comfortable.” She shrugged one shoulder.

  “It is! I promise you.” He lied. It definitely wasn’t comfortable. The blinding pain in his neck is proof of that.

  “Don’t lie to me. Come on, sleep in your bed.”

  He shook his head.

  “You’re not gonna sleep on the couch, Y/N. Seriously. You’re right, it’s too uncomfortable.”

  “I wasn’t gonna. We’ll sleep together. That came out wrong. I mean, we can both sleep in the same bed, we’re both adults.”

  Charlie wanted to protest, but the hopeless romantic in him drowned all objections.

  “We’ll put pillows between us, okay? And it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before. Remember my seventeenth? We were so drunk that we thought that the bed was a magnet, and we were screws.” She continued, looking away.

  Charlie smiled up at her, remembering the feeling he had the next morning when he had woken up to find Y/N curled up into him, her head tucked into the crook of his neck. “All right. If it’s okay with you.”

  She nods, walking into his bedroom, with Charlie following close behind. Both them wordlessly change and freshen up in the bathroom, and Charlie falls face first in his bed.

  “Oh. My. God.”

  Y/N laughs, sitting at the corner of his bed. “Knew it.”

  Charlie grins at her, feeling absolutely euphoric, especially with the buzz from all the drinks he’s had tonight still lingering in his head like a tattoo kiss. She slides under the covers, burrowing her face into the soft pillows. “I can’t function anymore. Bye.”

  He laughs softly, squeezing her shoulder, to which she softly smiles. He slides under the cover, resting on his side to face her, or rather a mess of h/c hair and soft, rhythmic breaths. He closes his eyes, switching off the light, but he knows that he will not be getting much sleep tonight, especially with the fuzzy citrus scent of her perfume everywhere and the heat from her body consuming him.

***

  It’s 1:20 AM and Charlie can’t sleep. Turns out that being in the same bed with the girl he’s been in love with since he was eighteen is a very, very bad idea. He’s put as much space between them as possible, yet he still feels vigilant and hot. His mind is betraying him: all he can think about is how beautiful she looks when the moonlight streaming through his window is casting shadows on her face, or how she’s sometimes saying things (really, really weird things, though – Charlie doesn’t understand anything), how much she looks like a little cat while she’s snuggled into the covers, or how she flails her arms while she’s asleep.

  He considers crashing in Owen’s room for the night. But as soon as Y/N starts moving around, still sleeping, he holds that thought and watches her instead.

  He can see her getting agitated, as she tosses and turns. She continues murmuring something, but it’s still all jumbled, and it hits Charlie.

  He props himself on his elbow and leans close to her face. “Y/N. Hey. Come back to me. Y/N. Honey. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

  She gasps, as consciousness floods in her system. She looks confused for a second, and Charlie sits up, right beside her. “Listen to me. You’re safe. I’m here. It’s okay. You’re okay. Everything is okay.”

  She exhales, eyes closing for a second.

  “Are you okay?” Charlie asks when her breathing has turned cadenced.

  Her eyes widen and lips part. “I’m so sorry.”

  “You don’t ever need to apologize for that. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I just – ever since I left home, I’ve been getting these nightmares.” She says, softly. Charlie lays next to her, turning to face her, while she mirrors his actions.

  “What do you see?” He asks.

  “Mostly my childhood. You know, my dad pushing me down the stairs. Or my mother telling me that I’m a horrible person and no one will ever love me, and she should have aborted me. Or my dad breaking the mirror the one time I got a B in math. Or my parents fighting. Or – you know, just a montage of my parents’ greatest hits.”

  She breathes out shakily.

  “Getting away didn’t stop the nightmares, huh?” He asks, resting a hand on her warm cheek.

  She scoots closer. “No. They still text me sometimes, mostly to remind me that I’m a terrible person and that I’m gonna go to hell for walking out on them and not going to Harvard.”

  “Y/N, don’t you dare –”

  “No. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Walking out was the best decision that I’ve ever made.”

  He smiles softly at her.

  “You and Megan… god, you two saved my life. I would never have had the courage to get this far if it wasn’t for you guys.”

  “No, honey. It was all you. You’re the strongest person we know.”

  “Shush. Let me compliment you in peace. You guys are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know.”

  She smiles, reaching forward to tangle run her hands through Charlie’s hair. They were dangerously close now: Charlie could see the curve of her nose, the lingering red lipstick color on her lips and count the number of eyelashes she has.

  “You’re the best thing that’s happened to us, too.”

  Charlie can feel something in the space between them, something pulling them close. It is cold outside, but here, in the cocoon they’ve created, he feels warm and at home.

  “Like, thank you so much for pushing me to get into law school. Now, I’m learning how to help millions of little girls who are going through what I went through, and it makes everything worth it. I feel like I don’t say this enough, but Charlie. Thank you for everything.”

  He smiles, trying to retort something funny but her proximity has jumbled his mind.

  “I know you’re really busy with your life, but thanks for still thinking of me sometimes.”

  That breaks Charlie out of his daze. “What?”

  “You know. You’re in a Netflix show, working with Kenny freaking Ortega and all these incredible people – and I’m enormously proud of you, by the way – and… well, you’ll soon not have that much time for your little sister’s best friend, you know?”

  “You’re not just my little sister’s best friend, Y/N.”

  “Yeah, I’m your friend, alright. But soon you’ll be meeting celebrities and models and actors and then you wouldn’t have time for me anymore.”

  Charlie furrows his brows. “Where is this coming from, Y/N?”

  “I just had a lot of time to think today.” She turns on her back, facing the ceiling.

  He hates the fact that she is so unpredictable: he never knows what’s going on in her head or what she is feeling. That’s one of the reasons that he’s kept his feelings for her a secret for almost three years.

  “I saw you with that model today. At the bar. Uh. So, I thought that you’re probably gonna meet a lot of them in LA. Models and Hollywood girls and all that. So, you’ll probably not have any time for me anymore.”

  Charlie shakes his head, recalling the model he was talking to earlier today. Or rather, yesterday. Carol. She was really nice, sweet, and beautiful – and definitely interested in Charlie. But his focus had been on Y/N, who was having a dance off with Owen and Savannah, all evening – or rather, all the time. He had tried to focus on the Carol, he really did – but after an hour, she herself realized that he wasn’t into her and whispered a ‘good luck with her’ to him before leaving to go back to her friends.

  “Y/N, that’s not true –”

  “It’s okay, Charlie. It’s good. Your life shouldn’t be stuck in the same place. It should be getting better, and you should be meeting new people, you know? You’ve been alone for a weirdly long time and it’s freaking your mom out. So, I know you’re gonna fall in love with someone and then you’ll be too busy –”

  “God, Y/N, how are you so fucking oblivious?” Charlie snaps, annoyance coursing through his veins.

  Her eyes widen at his harsh tone of voice, and it shocks Charlie, too. He’s never, ever raised his voice at her.

  “What?”

  Maybe it’s having her so incredibly close that causes him to finally snap. “Y/N, I have been in love with you ever since I was eighteen. You’re the only person that I want, and you’re the reason that I’ve been alone for a weirdly long time.”

  He immediately regrets saying that. Y/N is sitting up, and she is looking around everywhere, trying to avert Charlie’s eyes. He hides his face behind his hands, sinking deeper into the covers and trying to create a hole and fall down to the center of the earth.

  “I think you’ve had too much to drink today.”

  He groans into his hands, glad that he’s under the covers and the girl can’t see his absolutely scarlet face. “Oh, for god’s sake. Dude. I wrote you an entire ballad when I was nineteen because I realized that this is exactly what’s gonna happen – that I’m always gonna be in love with you, and you’re always gonna think of me as your best friend’s older brother.”

  He feels the covers shift above his head, and is greeted with Y/N’s face, a vulnerable look in her eyes. “Do you really mean it?”

  “Of course, I do. You’re my family – do you really think that I’m gonna joke about something like this and ruin our friendship? The only reason I’m even telling you this is because I’m incredibly frustrated that you’re so oblivious and you’re so fucking pretty. And so close. See, this is exactly why I wanted to sleep on the couch. Because I knew that I would lose it.”

  There’s a sudden flurry of movement and her lips are on his’, and they’re kissing, kissing, kissing. Charlie is too shocked to do anything at first but as soon as the warmth courses through his system and the butterflies go wild in his gut, he pulls her closer, rising up. She sits in his lap, straddling him, their hands getting lost in each other’s hairs – both of them trying to be closer, closer, closer to make up for all the lost years and to keep feeling the contentment that they feel from just being close to each other. She tastes like Charlie’s mint toothpaste and his dreams – like everything he’s ever wanted.

  As they separate for air, Y/N rests her forehead on his. “I thought you knew.”

  “What?” He’s surprised to find his voice hoarse.

  “That I’m in love with you.”

  He can’t stop the grin on his face from escaping. “What?”

  “I thought Meg told you. Or your mum. Or anyone really. Everyone’s called me out on it. I’ve always had a crush on you but dating all those guys in high school made me realize that I was kind of, you know, in love with you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Same reason as you. You’re my family, Charlie. I didn’t wanna lose what we have just because of… you know.”

  Y/N slides off his lap and lies on the bed, next to him and he mirrors her actions, and she rests her head on his chest, the frantic beating in his chest her background music. He drapes an arm around her shoulders, desperate to have her close.

  “We’re both cowards, eh?”

  She giggles.

  “Wait. Meg knew?”

  “Of course. She’s my best friend.”

  “You know, one day I got drunk and told her that ‘I’m 100% attracted to your best friend sexually and emotionally and everythingally.’ I kept wondering why she was laughing.”

  “I hate her.” She buries her face in Charlie’s chest, giggling.

  Charlie laughs and pulls her in for another kiss, desperate to hold her again, to feel the high he only feels around her. She smiles against his lips, before a thought occurs to him. “Wait. You were jealous of the bar girl, weren’t you?”

  “Shut up, you dork.”

  They’re only half aware of the snowstorm raging outside from the warm cocoon they’ve created in each other’s arms. Maybe miracles really do exist.

***

drop a message in my ask or in my messages if u wanna be on the jatp taglist!! requests are also open <3

[scary-senpai]

Saw this on reddit and sorta thought of you, I kinda want to hear your thoughts on this theory because I think it's pretty neat:

Ooh! Thank you so much for sharing this with me, Thoughtful & Cherished Internet Stranger! That’s an interesting theory, for sure, and I had some fun thinking about it... haha, I’ll be honest, you did inspire a headcanon where Saitama, Garou, and Genos are all kids on the playground acting out the most amazing fight they can come up with and Saitama tells Genos he has to play dead for the whole scene because “you already got to fight Garou, now it’s my turn, and you keep interrupting my imagination with your stupid facts!” Anyway, it was the bit of levity I needed before getting my heart ripped to bits again. So, thank you for that--you were an unexpected muse!

While I am holding out that we’ll get a cheeky, in-canon explanation for the re-draws (it’s on my bingo sheet!)--or maybe Murata/ONE will eventually spill the tea on what exactly happened with this panel--I’m hesitant to say that the past few chapters have taken place in Garou’s imagination. If Garou happens to be thinking aloud, he’s painting an awfully specific picture full of characters that definitely exist outside his imagination (like God and Blast) , even though Garou hasn’t met them yet. Garou would also be telling a story that relies on information he doesn’t have (the way God operations, and that Genos is Saitama’s disciple). It’s implied that in Garou’s heart of hearts, he understands that his quest for ultimate evil is destined to fail (and possibly a thinly-veiled suicide mission), but the last couple of chapters portray an exceedingly specific type of failure through a series of complicated & unfortunate events. I realize this ask came in before the latest chapter dropped, but if all this were happening in Garou’s imagination, then I’d also expect him to be less surprised to suddenly find himself in outer space.

...I could imagine Saitama telling this story to Garou, though. Like, perhaps he’s eaten the weird pickled egg things in the upper left and he’s just spent the last couple of chapters tripping balls as Garou morphs into his Final Form, which is Mom Friend :-/

In any case, Garou doesn’t look like he’s ready to talk in this panel. There’s no indication that you asked me this question because I majored in feelings Social Work/Psych, but I’m going to get up on my little mental health soapbox anyway, because if I’m out here voluntarily writing entire thesis statements for serotonin Fanciful Internet Points, I may as well slip in something that is actually true and helpful so I feel better when my predictions go horribly wrong.... anyway, what we’re learning now is that talk-therapy is actually counter-indicated for some folks, particularly people that have experienced trauma (like Garou has). This is because when you recall a painful / unpleasant memory, the same neurological channels activate as when you initially experienced that thing, meaning that you’re literally reliving that moment--in which case, you tend to trigger a fight-or-flight response, or shut down.

That’s what I see when I look at this panel--a person who is so overwhelmed their body has shut down to protect them from the pain that’s coming. I think Saitama might have had better luck just lying down beside Garou in the water as a silent-but-comforting presence rather than planting him on one side of a table and asking him to share. I understand the rationale (visually being equal, the metaphor of coming together and seeing each other face to face) but that setup of having someone staring at you while you try to bare your soul can actually be super uncomfortable/intimidating. There’s a reason “this character turned their face away” or “they turned aside” is such a powerful and significant action when you encounter this in a story/stage direction/shot. It’s a moment when a character hides/shields themselves or their companion from an unpleasant truth. For better or worse, there’s some agency in having the freedom to move your body that way. And if you notice Garou’s posture from the start of his interactions with Saitama, Garou almost never faces Saitama directly—Saitama stands wide open but Garou keeps his body angles to the side (like he’s halfway towards a fighting stance)—essentially making himself smaller, ostensibly so there’s less of him to hit, even early on in the scene when he dismisses Saitama as a non threatening, low ranking hero.

All that being said, I do understand the appeal of this theory. I want everybody to come home in one piece after having learned a valuable lesson about friendship/teamwork/etc. But that’s kind of the rub, and one of the reasons why these sort of plot twists are inadvisable: when something happens in a character’s imagination, there are no stakes and no risk. It’s hard for a general audience to get invested in the journey when a narrative is framed that way--and it’s also harder for a character to learn from scenarios they’ve independently fabricated… because if they had that kind of foresight, they generally have all the knowledge they need to be successful, and since plots usually hinge heavily on character growth, a character knowing all there is to know about their situation usually signals the end of the story.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are exceptions to everything—I, for one, would love to know how much forethought Garou put into this whole ultimate evil thing, but I’d be content to know what he daydreams about, and since you planted that idea in my brain I’ve had a little fun imagining how one might implement that. But while there are no hard-set rules to storytelling--only tools--this kind of plot twist feels like something that would get nixed by an editor/producer/other commercial stakeholders because it is generally regarded as heavy-handed, if not cliché.

BUT. I do think we’ll get some sort of battle that takes place in Garou’s mindscape--a bit like Mob Psycho (Mob vs. Minori)--confirming his demons and making better choices to come through to the end. I suspect that’s separate from the Saitama battle. While I’m sure Blast has a cure for Garou (assuming Saitama doesn’t punch the Devil out of him, first), it seems like part of Garou’s battle needs to come from harnessing his own willpower and fully committing to his “true self” (if there even is such a thing--as humans, we’re all just a mess of ever-changing electrified brain meat)... since temptation (to inflict pain on others, to obtain power) got him into this mess, it follows that resisting temptation would get him out of it.

So, thank you so much for the ask! I really enjoyed thinking about this, and I hope that doesn’t come across as disheartening or anything :-/ I have been very, very wrong about things before, especially the Magnus Archives! I am actually a fan of stories that frame low-stakes situations in high-stakes ways while still encouraging character growth! I’m thinking of Community, where the episodes lovingly and expertly spoof things Mad Max or Spaghetti Westerns through a campus-wide game of “The Floor is Lava” or “Paintball,” respectively. Even if the setup is clown-shoes, the character’s emotions are usually real and that’s what really carries the plot through. In “The Floor is Lava” episode, Abed tries to prolong the game forever because he knows that when it ends, his best friend Troy will be leaving community college to go on his next adventure. The ending is Abed and Troy coming to terms with that, and it does actually make me tear up when I watch it... or here’s another classic Troy and Abed moment where the writers mash up the traditional zombie movie (“Troy! Be the first Black man to make it to the end!”) and splice it with a heartfelt star wars moment (“Abed, I love you.” “I know”) and even though (in theory) it’s a moment of life-or-death self-sacrifice, we just know and trust that everything will turn out okay.

so yeah, if we did have this as a plot twist, then I think ONE/Murata are one of the few folks I’d trust to pull it off in a satisfying way. ONE, in particular, is a breaker of tropes and for sure, this arc has taken us to some wild and unexpected places, so, who knows?

[livinginncity]

if we were human

♚: lee rang x reader

❡: fluff??(angst, pure angst)

ⱳƈ: 2.5k

⚠︎: besides it being really bad? none really. like, literally a couple swears. it was fluff, and then it became angst, so...sorry, but not really because if i’m crying, so are you.

children could be heard all around the park. some screaming and laughing as they run behind, others crying after they tripped, only to soon be comforted by the gentle holds and hushed assurances of their mothers and fathers. a bit further away was a small dog park, from which came all kinds of barks and growl, as well as cooing of the passerby. and there at a bench, located slightly closer to the swings and slides attracting the younger humans, sat a man that looked less than pleased to be where he was.

“Guess who.” a female’s voice rang out as a soft hand covered his eyes. he merely rolled his eyes beneath their new coverings and proceeded to drag the small wrist away from his face. “y/n.”

the young woman sneered and scoffed before yanking her hand out of his grasp to walk around and join him on the bench. “I don’t like you.”

“I don’t like you either.” a smack to the back of the man’s head could be felt soon after the words left his mouth. “Yah!”

“What are you doing here anyway? I never took you for the people watching type.”

“That's because I'm not. As if they deserve that much attention.” a hand lazily lifted in the direction of a familiar little boy, the action bringing a smile to the woman’s face.

“Ahhhh. But that one’s the exception? I thought you didn’t like little kids with runny noses, something I heard you have in common with your brother actually. Is that a gumiho thing or a family thing?” the man she addressed turned his head to look at her with an unimpressed look.

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much? Or that you ask too many questions?”

“Well considering that was one of the first things you said to me when we met, I’ll just assume you know the answer to that already.”

she turned to look where the man’s gaze had previously been fixed and he followed suit. their eyes moved as they followed the movements of the young boy whose energy seemed to rival that of a puppy’s. ‘how fitting’ was the thought that came to the pair. minutes passed before they changed positions—the girl moving to settle her head on her company’s shoulder. said company shook her off before she repeated the action, leaving her be the second time. and he stayed in place even after she dragged his head to rest upon her own.

“Rang-ah.” the man simply grunted in response, urging her to continue. “I hate this.”

his eyebrows furrowed slightly at the sudden proclamation. “The kids? The families? Parks? I don’t really like them either. The first are messy and demanding, the second is an extremely unrealistic dynamic, and the last are way too loud and crowded.”

“No.” she took in her surroundings before speaking again. “This. I love all of this. I want it all. The kids are adorable and it feels so rewarding to be someone they rely on and look up to. I’ve had my fair share of family drama, but I’ve always wanted my own that I could cherish—pointless fights and all. And parks are probably one of my favorite places because it gives me everything I need to imagine what it’d be like if I had the first two.”

“What?” at her words he lifted his head to look down at her.

“I hate all of this shit that’s going on right now. It was one thing when you were just this occasional menace to your brother, but now the Imugi is involved and Lee Yeon refuses to let Ji Ah go again. It’s caused so many problems and with them, questions to be asked. Things could be so much simpler. Don’t you ever think about what life would be like if we were all human? This would all just be some petty high school drama. Like, Lee Yeon got class president in school and now, years later, both he and Imugi are CEOs competing in the nightclub industry or something like that.”

“You’re starting to sound like Lee Yeon. I guess you’re just as lame as him. Or maybe even lamer because really? That’s the best you can do with this fake drama?”

“Did I ever tell you that I ran into Soo Ho before you got the Tiger’s Brow back from him?” she ignored the questions, but her own annoyed him slightly. before he could respond. “I asked him if I could try them on and walked to the nearest window I could see myself in.”

“So, what’d you see? What were you? A Snake? A rat? Pufferfish?” her only response to his teasing was a pinch to the side. she shook her head before continuing.

“I saw a child.” her face changed to a solemn one. “All I saw was a snot-nosed little kid that the world seemed to have it out for. I didn’t even live long enough to have many firsts. And no one was ever there for the few I did. Well, there was one. Towards the end, I think my final year, I met an old lady. She lived alone, but she took me in the moment we crossed paths. She gave me my own room, let me help her cook, as much as a child could help, and she would always tell me these stories of her husband who had passed about a decade before. In just a few months, that woman gave me what felt like a lifetime of love. All while I was slowly dying, she made me forget the hardships, the neglect, the hatred, and by some cruel fate, she died first. But before she went, she said to me “treat my death as not another result of this terrible world, but take it as a sign that even when we know that our end is inescapable, we are able to cherish the temporary moments in which we are truly happy should we allow ourselves that much.” And so,”

the woman finally lifted her head from the gumiho’s shoulder to look into his eyes. “I think, if I could be reincarnated as a human again, I would. But since it’s probably never gonna happen I want to live like one. Get married, have a family, get mad when someone doesn’t show up for the holidays. I don’t know if I’d make it as a human with everything I know now, and I honestly don’t want to be human right-right now because I probably wouldn’t get to be around you. And I also just can’t imagine how you’d get by without seeing me every day.”

“Don’t act like you’re anything special.” he scoffed and looked back at the playground.

“You don’t have to admit it.” she stood up from the bench, looked over to the young boy he had taken in, and turned back. the woman grabbed his face and, after looking at the man for a few seconds, leaned in. “I know you love me.” and then she ran. “Soo Ho-ah! Let me play with you, that old fox is being mean again!”

“Yah!” he didn’t get up to chase her. she was right no matter how much he thought about it. somehow that weird girl wormed her way into the list of people he more than tolerated. and as he sat alone with his thoughts, he watched her play with the reincarnated boy, the latter seemingly winning their current sword fight.

does he ever wanna be human? no, it seems way too boring. does he like kids? he likes one, so that’s good enough. will he get married at some point? well, it’s just some rings and paper. and it’s not like he isn’t in love with that girl in the park.

bonus;

“Hey, y/n. If you’re watching this then...you know. I figured a couple good deeds might do me well in the afterlife, so what better way than finally letting my brother be with the girl he’s waited hundreds of years for.”

“You crazy bastard.” those were the only words that she could force her mouth to speak as she looked down at the small screen.

“I know you’re probably cursing me right now, thinking ‘this crazy bastard.’” somehow they both managed to let out a chuckle. “You know I don’t like vulgar words, but I’m not there, so i told Soo-Ho to pinch you for me every time one leaves your mouth.”

“Of course you did. It’s already a habit of his now.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye. Especially to you, Yu Ri, and Soo-Ho. I didn’t get to say thank you, either. You’ve all helped me more than I’d ever care to admit, but I really am grateful to have shared part of my life with you. I got to help Yu Ri like Lee Yeon helped me, got to meet Blacky again, and I got to experience so many things with you.”

the tears in her eyes were already brimming and it was clear they wouldn’t stay there long. “y/n.” she looked back to the screen as he called her name.

“go to the nightstand on the right of my bed and open the drawer.” the girl got up from her place at the edge of the bed and walked over to the wooden table. with her phone in her left, she used her right to open the drawer, and she could feel her heartbeat stutter as she laid her sights on the black velvet box that sat in it. she reached a shaky hand to pick it up, and when she flipped it open she couldn’t help dropping the phone as she brought the other to her mouth with a choked sob. all she could do was shake her head and let the tears subject themselves to gravity.

“Do you remember that day in the park?” despite not being able to actually see through the endlessly flowing tears, she managed to scramble around and find the device that had slipped from her grasp. “You were talking about all this stuff like marriage, family, kids—what it’d be like to be human because things would be so much simpler. And while I don’t think anyone could ever convince me that being human would be fun, I figured we could at least do some of those human things. We were kind of halfway there, you know? You practically live in my apartment, and Soo-Ho took over the living room with his toys, so it was only a matter of time for him to get his own room so I could stop stepping on legos—maybe get a door with a lock from the outside so I don’t have to worry about waking up covered in stickers.”

she laughed as she recalled the memory, his interactions with the little boy, and their goofy smiles when things were calm for once. “You dorks were made to follow each other into every life.”

“I was gonna propose to you after this whole thing was over. Once I knew Lee Yeon was safe and not being targeted by a wannabe dragon. I’m sorry I couldn’t give that to you or...our own kid, though I think the one we have now is pretty great. And I’m also really sorry that I’m finally telling you this once it’s too late, but you were right. About what you said that day.” her breath hitched as she saw the tears glisten while they slid down his face. “I love you.

as if it were clockwork, a sob made its way from her throat and the tears began again.

“Yah, stop crying already. Please. I’d be upset if I was the cause of it.” and she tried, she really did, but it wasn’t as easy as he made it sound. “And, I know this is probably asking a lot for all that I’ve put you through, but can you wear it? At least for a little bit. Just think of it as a way of honoring my memory—the better parts obviously. You can keep my apartment if you want, too. Soo-Ho might be a job better-fit for Sin-Ju and Yu Ri, but if he says he wants to stay with you, you better let him.”

another laugh emitted from between the sobs as she listened to his final message.

“I really do love you, y/n. And if there is ever a chance of us finding each other again, I’ll tell you every chance I get. Anyway, I think it’s time for me to go now. I only have a couple more minutes and I don’t think the others are gonna make it in time. I’m scared if I’m being honest, y/n. I’m afraid of being alone, but you helped me not feel like that all the way up to the end—I finally had a family. So thank you. Love you.” and he smiled his big, child-like smile before adding on, “And don’t tell Lee Yeon I said sorry, or thank you, or I love you that much in under ten minutes.”

and just like that, it was over. no more, dumb family feuds, no more naengmyeon with no eggs because someone would always steal it, no more Lee Rang. she stared at the paused screen for what felt like hours before setting it to the side on the bed, to do as he had asked. carefully,  she took the ring out from the safety of its cushions and slid it onto her left hand. she let out a shaky breath as she stared at her ring finger and she said it back, hoping that somehow, someway, he would hear it. “I love you too, Lee Rang-ah.”

it was a while before she moved from that spot—getting on her feet only to answer the door that had just rung. opening it, she could have seen the man who had taken the place of Lee Rang’s in the living world, but all she saw at that moment was an older brother who had also lost someone he loved.

“Lee Yeon-ah.” it was then that the male finally took in her appearance. she wore jeans, one of his brother’s sweaters, and her hair was in a bun that had clearly seen better days. but what really caught his attention as his eyes traveled, was the black box in her right hand, and shining silver band on her left. then he lifted his eyes back to hers to see just how tired she was. “Lee Yeon-ah. I miss him.”

the man simply brought her into his chest as she sobbed. and she cried, and she cried, and all the while he stood there with her in his embrace. it was all he could do, he couldn’t offer her words of comfort just yet because, even now she may be much stronger than he is. because she’s strong enough to live without the promise of his reincarnation. she knows she may never see him again, but won’t risk exchanging her life just so he won’t go through the same thing.

“I miss him so much.” her voice cracked as the words came out, and he ran his hand over her hair.

“I know, I know. I miss him, too.”

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Common Myths

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published.

Next Excerpt

Everyone knows about ghouls, right? Everyone grows up hearing scary stories about us, from parents telling you to brush your teeth or the ghouls will get you, to your friends on the playground lying about how they saw one with their own two eyes and it was so scary no really even scarier than that, to - eventually, as you get older - news stories about mass murders and human slaughterhouses and graverobbers digging up your grandma and biting open her bones to get what’s left of her marrow.

The stories are terrifying and vivid and mostly sensationalist garbage. It’s kind of a shame, honestly - a lot of them are really well-written. With the best ones, it’s hard to tell sometimes if they were written by a human with an overactive imagination, or by one of us.

Weird, right? You wouldn’t think we’d want to spread stories that make us look even worse to the rest of humanity than they already think we are, but as far as I can tell, we’ve been making up horror stories about ourselves forever. Our records are spotty at best - oral histories don’t always get passed on before the person carrying them dies, and there are none of us who can trace our family line more than a few generations before it gets too muddled by death to trace any farther. And as for physical records, those are even more vulnerable. Those can’t just be lost - they can be stolen. Used against us. As far as I know, there has never been a written record of ghoul lore circulated. Not until this one.

{Editing Note: Too dramatic? Maybe. But I like it. I’ll think about it}

That being said, though, I think we used to tell these stories to enhance our reputation. To keep humans too scared of us to mount a serious resistance when we came hunting. If they believed we couldn’t be beaten, they wouldn’t try as hard. I think we lived more openly back then, back before automatic firearms and high explosives and kevlar body armor and chemical weapons leveled the playing field. Back when those of us who chose to could hunt humans with near impunity.

{Editing Note: I don’t like ending the paragraph there. We weren’t all killers then any more than we are now. But we did kill. We did hunt them, and I think we hunted them more. I need to make them understand us, but how can they understand us if telling them the truth just makes them hate us more? It needs another pass}

Even then, there were a lot more humans than there were of us. That’s basic ecology - there have to be more prey than predators {Editing Note: I need to find a better way to say that. There are gentle ways to be truthful, and there are hard ways. Do better}. Working together, humans could threaten our existence even then. The stories helped, I think. If they were too scared to work together against us, then we had a better chance of surviving another day, another month, another year.

Times are different now. Fear is no longer a tool that helps us. Human fear threatens our existence. But we still make up these stories and spread them. I spread my share on the elementary school playground. Whenever any of the other kids told a scary ghoul story, I could always come up with a better one. Scarlet’s were even better. He’s always been able to make words dance.

He was my best friend growing up. We were the only ghouls in our grade, maybe even in the whole school. I couldn’t tell for sure - we didn’t see the other grades as much. But he was enough. He was someone I could be myself with. I didn’t have to pick all of my words carefully, or make sure that the thing I was telling him was a normal human experience. It was such a relief to truly be me, even if it was only outside of school hours and well out of earshot of anyone nearby. It didn’t hurt that we actually had some common interests, you know, like friends do. We used to play imagination games together. He’d conjure dragons into existence with his words, and he’d help me use mine to slay them.

{Editing Note: My academic advisor would rip this into shreds, but this isn’t a research paper. This can’t be dry. This needs to be full of heart, not just information. They need to understand. But I might have gone overboard a little}

Scarlet’s an aspiring author now. I’ve read a few of his short stories. Horror and romance, always hand in hand {Editing Note: That’s too identifying. Make that less specific}. I asked him why he thought we still told these stories about ourselves, why we still want them to think of us as more terrifying than we are, why we make ourselves seem larger than life.

He told me that it’s because they hate us. Because there is nothing we can do to make them stop hating us, so why not give them something more worthy of their hatred? Why not give them a comically exaggerated monster - one that bears only a passing resemblance to us - to hate instead? This way, we can laugh at them for their foolishness amongst ourselves, laugh at how little they understand us. If what they hated was closer to our truth, we wouldn’t find it as easy to laugh at. It isn’t always easy as it is, to look at the world around you and know that 98% of the people you see burn with hatred at the mere thought of you, and to meet that with laughter. How much harder would it be if what they hated was who we really were, complex and vulnerable and as human as them? How would we ever endure it if they beheld us for all that we were and still called for our annihilation?

Scarlet’s always been good at giving words to truth. I hope that I’m as good at using words to make a new truth. I want to make him wrong. So here is some truth for you. Here is the truth beneath the myths about who and what we are.

Ghouls eat people

This is true, at least in part; we eat human flesh. That isn’t always the same thing. I’ll go deeper on our dietary needs later, but for now, know that we don’t have to kill to eat, most of the time. I’ve never killed a human, and I hope I neve have to.

Ghouls like hurting people

Not as a rule. There are ghouls that like hurting people. There are humans who like hurting people too.

Ghouls don’t feel pain and can heal from anything

Ghouls have two foot long prehensile tongues

I can tell you from experience that this one isn’t true. We feel pain as acutely as any human, I think, though it does take a little more to hurt us. Our skin and bones are tougher, harder to break. Our muscles are a little stronger too. Not enough that the weakest ghoul is stronger than the strongest human, but it’s not an insignificant advantage. I was always one of the best performers in PE, and I’ve never worked out in my life. So we’re harder to injure, and our strength lets us push through some injuries that would incapacitate a human. But we don’t heal any faster than humans do, or any cleaner. 

Contrary to what the politicians said when they passed the Chemical Exterminants Act.

… I think this one started with a human fetish artist, actually. No. We do not.

Ghouls have two sets of teeth

This one is true, although most of the time you’d never know unless you did an autopsy on one of us. Fetish artists, go nuts with this one.

{Editing Note: Do I really want to directly address ghoul fetishists in the book that will redefine the relationship between ghouls and humans that has existed for as long as anyone can remember? Maybe. At least they have a vested interest in keeping us from being wiped out?}

Ghouls can’t eat human food

False, at least in the most literal sense. If we physically couldn’t eat human food, we’d have all been found and killed a long time ago. We can consume things other than human flesh, but they don’t do anything for us nutritionally, and they don’t taste good to us either. That doesn’t always mean they taste bad, though. If we eat too much it will make us sick, however, and some things will make us sicker faster, or make us more sick than other things. Some of us even have allergies. For example, grapes give me hives. A single chicken nugget will trap me in the bathroom for the rest of the day. French fries, on the other hand... I almost manage to enjoy french fries sometimes.

Ghouls have better senses than humans do

This one’s a mixed bag. Our sense of smell is definitely better. That’s how Scarlet and I found each other; we could smell the flesh on each other’s breath. But as for the rest… Some people say our hearing is worse, but I’ve never come across anything conclusive one way or the other. I might just have bad ears. Our sense of taste is definitely different, but I don’t think it’s necessarily better or worse. We’re just adapted to taste different things. I’m pretty positive our sense of touch is the same. As for sight, our night vision is better, but only sometimes. I’ll get to that in a minute.

Ghouls true forms are terrifying and inhuman

Definitely false, but there’s a tiny kernel of truth a little to the left of this one. Most of the time, we look indistinguishable from humans, which is definitely an evolutionary advantage. But we have three traits that help us when we hunt. They mark us as distinctly inhuman, so it’s a good thing that they only come out when we want them to. First, our nails are a lot harder than human nails, and we can cause them to extend, like claws. They can rip through flesh and most cloth without breaking. Second, that second set of teeth I mentioned earlier. They’re sharper, better for tearing flesh. Our mouths have to distend a bit to make room for them, so that’s a dead giveaway when they’re out. Third, our eyes. We can dilate them a lot wider than humans, and we can control their dilation consciously. That’s what I meant about better night vision.

Last one.

Ghouls are monsters. They must be exterminated

Keep reading. Maybe by the end of this book, you can answer that for me.

[quixotic-writer]

Lesson Plans and Challenges

Summary: Q thought it’d be funny to poke some fun at his girlfriend who works as a teacher. She makes him put his money where his mouth is and challenges him to work a day at her job.

––––––––––––––––––––––––

It started as him joking around about me organizing my lesson plans for the week saying ‘what are you stressed about? Coloring book page due?’ Then I challenged him to a day at my workplace. I went easy on him though, telling him he could come during a shift at the after school program I do for extra pay and he agreed. Here we are waiting for school to get out, classroom doors open with students looking outside at us with eager smiles.

“It can’t be that hard. I mean, you just spend these few hours outside and kids are constantly getting picked up so the population is always slowly lowering.”

“Coming from the man who doesn’t know how to talk to kids. Everyone knows this Bri. It’s very clearly shown on your little show you have.” I playfully banter with him.

“I have nieces and nephews, I know how to interact with kids.”

“Have you handled 38 at once?” His demeanor quickly drops the moment I give him a number and I start giggling, “It’s a whole grade level and it’s the largest group too. Did you not take that into account love?” He shakes his head and I see his nerves rise. “I’m sure you’ll make it out alive. The kids will find you hysterical. Just be sure to watch your foul mouth. PG settings on for today.”

“No promises that something won’t slip out.” I roll my eyes and the school bell rings and a flood of students make their way outside.

“Better clean up your act then because here they come.” I say with a smile and crack open the attendance book getting my pen ready with a wide smile as familiar faces run over to greet me.

“Ms. Sparkle! Ms. Sparkle! Look I have glasses now and I can see the board in class now!” One of the young ones jumped for joy as I marked him down as present in the attendance book.

“Well careful there Micah. Don’t want to break them right after you got them do you?” He shakes his head with a cheeky grin until his eyes dart over to Brian.

“Ms. Sparkle? Who the heck is this guy?” He points over to Brian and I try and stifle my laughter. “Who are you? Do you work here now? Most helpers are young and you’re too old to be here.” I couldn’t help but laugh audibly at that blow. Brian’s eyes went wide.

“And what makes you think i’m so old, kid?” He asks in a joking tone.

“Lots of gray hair and you have a huge beard.”

“Okay Micah, go take a seat and I'll dismiss you guys to play in a bit.” He smiles and trots away to go sit down against the wall and patiently waits for others to arrive. I shake my head and smile as I continue taking attendance. The wonders of working with kids. They just speak their honest mind and have no filter. It always makes for the most interesting conversations that I treasure.

“What’s with the ms. Sparkle thing?” Brian asks.

“Oh anyone that works in the afterschool program gets their own personalized nickname. I was dubbed Ms. Sparkle. Sami, another helper who works here, is called ms. raccoon because the kids said she looks like a human raccoon since she has dark bags under her eyes and the dark clothes she wears. Can’t wait to see what the kids come up with for you.” The line of kids continues as I check everyone off in the attendance book and they all line up on the sidewalk and talk amongst each other. Every student that comes and goes looks at Brian sideways before going off to the rest of the group. Some were more persistent with questions before I had to tell them that I'll be explaining shortly. Once everyone was accounted for, I turned to face the countless smiling faces. “Good afternoon guys, how was your day?” A mixed chorus of responses flood from all of them. Brian stands close to me and all their little eyes direct towards him. “So I have a special announcement to make for today guys.”

“Is that guy your boyfriend Ms. Sparkle?” My train of thought was quickly derailed as a student blurted out that question. A chorus of ‘ooh Ms. Sparkle has a boyfriend!’ comes from the students and Brian turns red and I snicker.

“This is Mr. Quinn, he’s my helper for today. We all remember how we treat others right?”

“The way we want to be treated!” They all respond. I smile and beam with pride.

“Awesome guys. You are all dismissed!” Just like that, the kids are quick to their feet and they all take off running to the playground. Both Brian and I stand together and watch as the kids congregate into their little groups and do their own things. Some were running around for a game of tag, some sat under the tree nearby with their toys and imaginations, and some sat near their bags with their noses in a book.

“So… What now?” Brian leans in and whispers to me.

“Well, make some rounds! Scope out the scene and keep an eye on them. Baseline rules are to be kind to each other, no bad language or toilet talk, no dangerous stunts on the playground.” I wave him off and with hands in his pockets he circles around the playground looking at all the kids unsure of how to start a conversation with any of them since they all seemed occupied with their own things. Around the corner pops in my usual helper, Sami. She gives a smile to me as she approaches and places her bag down. “You got an easy day today y’know.”

“Why’s that?” She asked as her eyes naturally darted around the playground making sure all the kids are in proper order and not getting into any mischief. I nod my head over to Brian who’s talking to a couple of boys off on the side of the playground.

“Brian came in to help for the day.” Sami snickers.

“Uh huh. And what do you mean by ‘help’?” She continues chuckling knowing all the stories I've told her about Brian’s history with kids. As I look up, I see kids climbing all over Brian like a jungle gym. One is riding on his back, two hanging and swinging off of each arm, and another connected to his leg like glue. He laughs as he tries to move about the playground with kids attached to him, each of them hollering out and laughing just as loud as he tries to shake them off. He seemed to be doing perfectly fine with the kids and something about that made my heart overflow with a river of love. Sami strolls off to give Brian a hand with the kids. With a few quick words the kids peeled off of Brian like water off a duck’s back, relief washes over him as he chuckles. My attention is quickly redirected to a few girls standing before me, the cute little clique of the sassy sweet ones.

“Hello girls, how was school today?”

“Ms. Sparkle, is Mr. Quinn your boyfriend?” Had a feeling this is what they’d be asking.

“Yeah! Do you like… Kiss and hold hands.” They all lean in with eager anticipation. I wasn’t sure how to answer this. I mean, it wasn’t a bad thing to tell the kids that I do have a boyfriend, but I wasn’t sure how far or how weird the questions were going to be. Kids just ask anything without a second thought.

“Mr. Quinn is my boyfriend. I love him very much.” Short, sweet, and to the point.

“Maybe you should date someone younger Ms. Sparkle. He has too much gray hair.”

“Well I like his gray hair. I think my boyfriend is very handsome as he is.” There he was with a bright smile on his face, talking away with a kid sitting on the rock wall.

“Gross.” And just like that, the girls were off to go and gossip elsewhere. I shake my head and laugh.

Time goes on and I watch with a smile as Brian starts warming up more and more to each of the kids as the hours pass. I didn’t interfere much or bother him because I wanted him to flourish by himself like I knew he could. He had a hard time keeping up with their more physically active demands such as games of tag, Brian being a human jungle gym, and showing off how strong he was by lifting kids with little to no effort. I’d occasionally see him hunched over catching his breath or scrunched down in attempts to take heaping gulps from the kid’s water fountain. It was funny seeing him, a fully grown man, crunching himself down a few sizes in desperation for some hydration.

He’d socialize with the kids too, answering some of their strange and unfiltered questions, telling stories about when he was a kid, and just listening to kids tell him all about their favorite things. Shockingly, it wasn’t all strictly firefighter stories like I expected it to be. Of course he did have a few of those stories to share, but instead he built off of what the kids were talking about and eased into the conversation rather than redirecting it entirely.

They dubbed him “Mr. Grizzly” because apparently reminded them of a bear. Very fitting in my opinion. My teddy bear.

Of course, there isn’t a day that goes by without a little bit of conflict. Part of me wished it was just a simple disagreement between two kids, a normal occurrence that’s easy to mediate and resolve. The wails of pain distinguished this as my other fear: an injured child. Immediately my head whips around to find where the cries are coming from and I see a circle of students right next to the walkway which told me exactly where the problem was. I quickly run over into the center of the circle to see Brian and Sami kneeling down with a kid that has a nasty gash on her knee from falling over. Tears were plentiful and cries of pain filled the silence. My heart broke as my adrenaline rose.

“Sami, grab a first aid kit, some paper towels both wet and dry.” Brian quickly took charge of the situation, as he tried calming down the student with calming words of ‘hey, it’s okay, i’m gonna fix you right up.’

“What happened?” I quickly asked.

“Seems Lily here took a nasty f–” the ‘f’ was dragged out. I knew exactly what he had been planning on saying, but he quickly switched up his words back to PG family friendly mode, “fall here on the sidewalk running.” Sami was quick to bring over everything Brian had asked for and he took them all in hand. “Thanks Sami. Now, let’s get to cleaning this up, okay?” He washed away all the blood, patting it with a wet then a dry paper towel. He dug through the first aid kit to grab some neosporin and a band aid and quickly patched Lily up.

“There… We… Go!” With a smile he leans away to take a look at his handiwork. His eyes look back up to Lily’s. She thankfully wasn’t crying anymore and he took another paper towel to carefully dry up her tears. “Does that feel better now?” She nods her head, still frowning a bit. “Oh now we can’t have a sad face on you anymore. I know what’ll help though!” He holds out his arms to her and she jumps right in with a smile as he wraps his arms tight around her and rocks her back and forth, “Mr. Grizzly bear hug!!” Lily was giggling and smiling as she was encased in his arms and I couldn’t help but smile and laugh along. Soon he released her and she was back to her old self and took off running to rejoin her friends.

“Look at you Mr. Grizzly.” I tease his new name and he smiles. “You handled that super well you know. I’m proud of you.” He lights up and if he were a dog, I just know his tail would be wagging like crazy.

“Well working in the FDNY has helped prepare me for times like these. No big deal.” Kids call to him and just like that, he was pulled back in to entertain the little ones.

The day flew by a lot quicker after that. No more incidents, no more sad faces, nothing but smiles and laughter came from the kids from then on. The day came to a close and the last kid finally went home, waving goodbye to me and fellow staff members they recognized before hopping into their car and riding off home. I place my binder away and file away everything from today that I needed to. I said goodbye to everyone and sent Sami on her way. Bri and I got into the car and he eased back into the seat of the car.

“What’s wrong honey bear? Did the coloring book page tire you out?”

“You too with the bear names?” He chuckles. “You know what, I see what you mean babe. That was tiring as hell. I almost slipped a few swear words here and there. I know for sure I'm gonna be feeling it tomorrow, felt like a human jungle gym. The kids were all over me. And you do this every day?”

“Mmm, I don’t do the after school thing every day. Just sometimes because I know the after school program is understaffed on certain days. It’s easier than actually teaching. That’s a horse of another color.”

“I bet. After this, I don’t think I can imagine that.”

“But you know, I love every moment of it. Good or bad. I wouldn’t trade this job for anything.”

“I would.” We both burst into laughter.

“Well you did great today Mr. Grizzly, you did everything just right.” With that we decided to head on home. I made my point today that my job wasn’t coloring books and glitter, but I also brought out a side of Brian that I never thought I would. One that actually does love kids despite him being too stubborn to say it.

[marastriker]

for the OTP ask: all of them. I'm not even kidding. Gimme gimme hrnnggg 🖤🖤🖤

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO

💚 First off, who is your OTP?

Electraboose <3

💐 Who tends to worry the most?

Electra, they're such an overthinker and a worry wart.

💋 Who is the most physically affectionate?

CB can not keep his grubby little gremlin hands to himself.

⛈ Do they enjoy dancing?

More than you would think, but I think Electra enjoys it far more than CB.

🌹⛈Who has the most nightmares and how do they deal with them?

CB definitely does. He has constant nightmares regarding his past and usually can't sleep afterwards. He's tried splashing cold water on his face and all that, but Electra being beside him and caressing his back helps far more than anything else ever could.

🌺 Do they go to sleep at the same time as each other?

No. Electra is responsible and gets a full 8+ hours of sleep every night but CB is a bit of an insomniac. He stays up and tinkers or asks weird questions until he can actually fall asleep.

⚡ What are their nicknames for each other?

CB calls Electra: Lex, Lexi, Thunderdome, Sparky, Livewire,

Electra calls CB: Ceeb, Ceeby, Boosey, Gremlin, Cherry Pie, Cherry Bomb

🍃 What do they do when the other is stressed?

When Electra is stressed, CB tries to distract them with humor. It always works, CB is genuinely very funny and it helps Electra destress to just take a breather and laugh.

When CB is stressed, Electra gives him a massage and gets him to talk about anything other than what's stressing him out. Even something as simple as, "tell me about this piece of equipment, it looks complicated."

🌻 How do they spend time if the other is gone?

CB usually spends his time working on radio equipment or art, he's gotten into painting/sculpting as a type of therapy.

Electra spends time with their components, but enjoys giving themself a nice spa day to relax without the little gremlin around to interrupt. (They love CB in spite of how obnoxious he can be, but they definitely do need a break from time to time.)

🎮 Do they have a favourite video game they enjoy playing together?

CB loves first person shooters like Borderlands, but also plays some occasional Fortnite because he is 12 at heart.

Electra likes simple platformers and finds Undertale to be extremely fun, but has recently gotten into more fantasy esque games that still match their preferred gaming style. Ori and the Blind Forest is perfect for them. They love the little puzzles but the art is just so incredibly beautiful too.

💍 Would they ever get married?

They absolutely would eventually and Electra would be the one to mention it first. CB joke proposed with a ring pop, but Electra knew he was serious about wanting to be together forever, so they buy him a ruby ring and officially proposes. (They also have three kids, a girl who's a caboose and twin electric boys).

✨ Who proposes?

Oops already answered this lol

👑 Who is the meme lover?

Oh god that ain't even a question, CB. He is a memelord.

📚 Who likes to read?

Also CB, he may be silly, but he's still very smart and enjoys reading what most people find boring. Electra is spoiled and kind of thinks it's a waste of time if they can just look it up in their database.

🎩 Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

Electra bothers CB all the time when he's trying to read. Electra is just like, hun I can just look that up for you, you know. You don't have to waste your time reading that big book.

Have you considered that I want to read the big book

........no?

🌼 How do their personalities complement each other?

CB's wild energy and Electra's calm, cool, collectedness balance each other out. Sometimes they do switch, when Electra is throwing a tantrum and CB thinks whatever the issue is is silly and not something to worry about. They just know how to approach things how the other wouldn't think to and it helps them solve their issues together a lot better

🔥 Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

Electra won't just punch, but zap whoever dared to shit talk their little gremlin

💀 What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

While GB and Dinah would do more classic couples costumes, CB and Electra would do the dumbest couples costumes. Like a plug and an outlet lol.

🌈 What are their favourite colours?

Electra loves blue and CB loves red obviously, but Electra has a soft spot for pink colors and CB really likes yellow.

🌹 Who is the hopeless romantic?

CB, but not in a traditional sense. He wants to share all of these things that he THINKS is romantic, but Electra is just like??? Babe why are we at a playground

I WANNA PUSH YOU ON THE SWINGS

🎭 Who is the dramatic one?

Electra, it's just in their nature to be a diva.

🎈 Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

100% CB. He doesn't know how else to handle tough situations other than completely breaking down.

💝 What do they love about each other the most?

CB loves Electra's class and poise. He wishes he could be that composed and intimidating.

Electra loves CB's childlike wonder and insane genius. They're actually kinda jealous to admit that CB is smarter than them.

👓 Who googles everything?

Electra. It's how they come up with quick answers to everything.

🌙 How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

Electra reminds CB by all means that he is NOT alone. Not anymore. If he's ever having trouble or feels helpless, Electra is always there for him no matter what.

CB makes sure that Electra is able to rationally approach the issue instead of resorting to short circuiting.

🍂 What is an inside joke they have?

They call "having sex" some of the weirdest things. CB suggested it, since he's already so used to speaking in code.

💟 What do you think makes them perfect for one another?

They balance each other's shortcomings out really nicely. CB teaches Electra to have fun and be a kid again. Let loose. Not worry so much about looking perfect all the time. And Electra helps CB be more grounded and adult when he needs to be. They fit each other like missing puzzle pieces <3

🌷 Are you nervous to talk about your OTP? Why?

no i could talk about these idiots all day

🧵 Is your OTP Oc x Canon?

...I choose to believe it is canon........

🎵 What's a song (or songs) that remind you of your OTP?

Accidently In Love by the Counting Crows

Anything for You by Ludo

THANK YOU so MUCH for the ASK i love THESE IDIOTS

[sluttbuttsstuff]

LA SQUADRA BACKSTORY HEADCANONS PART 2

Here’s everyone else’s backstory,  part one with Melone and Ghiacchio is here

 https://sluttbuttsstuff.tumblr.com/post/652486890343268352/la-squadra-backstory-headcanons-part-1-ghiacchio

WARNINGS: dark themes, SFW

None of this is Canon of course, just speculation

PROSCUITTO AND PESCI:

I’m combining theirs because they’re so intertwined.

Prosciutto is a few years older than pesci, and they grew up in the same neighborhood.

By the time Prosciutto was in high school, Pesci was in 2-3rd grade, basically

Prosciutto was the younger of two children from an old school mafia family. 

Pesci was the only child of a teen mom, and mostly raised by his grandmother.

To be honest, Prosciutto was kind of annoyed by Pesci when he first met him.  He was a weird looking kid who was annoyingly clingy and kind of a crybaby

Pesci wasn't well liked by the other kids his age, and when they did hang or they usually either teased to poor kid or used him

Prosciutto was liked well enough by his peers, but he spent most of his time with people older than him- his father’s “associates” and new mafioso initiates.

There was one that Prosciutto became particularly close to- his uncle.

He was younger than most of the other mafiosos, and a lot less uptight than Prosciutto’s father.  

He made Prosciutto feel like he was already apart of the gang, trusting him with family secrets, teaching him how to shoot and care for a gun, even bought Prosciutto his first pack of cigarettes

Prosciutto’s uncle made him feel like he was the capable adult and badass gangster he so desperately wanted to be.

Prosciutto’s father, of course, loved his Brother and wanted him to have a good relationship with Prosciutto, but he didn’t approve of his son’s involvement in the family business, at least not so young.

In truth, turns out Prosciutto’s uncle was a scumbag with a lot of gambling debts, and ended up getting himself into a lot of trouble

He was always bad at money, and thought he could get some from his brother, but he refused

Angry, Prosciutto’s uncle killed his brother, Prosciutto’s father, hoping to get some inheritance or at least steal some off of him

Prosciutto happened to hear and see everything, and in a rage, killed his uncle and mentor

Angry and betrayed, Prosciutto decided not to join his family’s gang, but to make a name and life for himself, and ended up settling with passione.

He had a difficult time, struggling to survive and make a name for himself, especially when he first got his stand.

Initially, he thought it was a useless stand; he didn’t see any potential in a stand that just makes someone get older

But then he realized he could disguise himself, age others into dust, and was promoted to hitman

Prosciutto learned a lot from his experience, and realized something very important

He and Pesci, the small boy who lived in his neighborhood, were one and the same

Used by their peers, potential ignored, betrayed by their family- the next time he saw Pesci playing by himself on the street Prosciutto treated him VERY differently

Pesci was surprised but nonetheless happy; his grandmother was nice to him, and his mother worked hard to support him, but he didn’t really have anyone to teach him how to be a man.

Prosciutto didn’t encourage Pesci to become a mafioso, but he never discouraged him either.  He let Pesci decide for himself

Prosciutto tried to be a mentor that was the perfect mix of his father and uncle-strict with high expectations, but also caring and gentle when necessary

Pesci was able to stand up to his bullies thanks to Prosciutto, and Pesci idolized him for helping him so much

So naturally he wanted to be just like his mentor Prosciutto, hence joining Passione

In truth, Pesci is naturally gentle and kind, but at the same time, he knows there are lots of people being bullied and hurt like he was as a child

Its Pesci’s dream to not only live up to Prosciutto’s expectations, but to make sure he’s never weak and taken advantage of again like he was as a child

And also? He's never told anyone, but he secretly dreams of being able to protect and mentor others like Prosciutto did for him

It’s true that he can be cowardly and has issues with self-esteem, but he wants to make prosciutto proud, and I think he could have become a very capable, firm but fair mafioso like he wanted to

ILLUSIO:

Illusio is the oldest of two children from an average middle class Italian family.  

From a young age, Illusio was very aware that both of his parents preferred his younger brother.  

He was smarter, prettier, stronger, more charming etc and His parents didn’t bother hiding their preference

Illusio would work hard to earn their approval, helping around the house with chores and trying his best to do things that would make them happy, but his brother did it better

It aggravated Illusio to no end

To make things worse, his brother noticed the preference as well, and instead of sympathizing with illusio, or even just ignoring his effect, he was very cruel to Illusio

He would complain to his parents that Illusio’s room was bigger, and he would get illusio’s old room.  

Illusio had a girlfriend?  His brother would steal her away, just to spite Illusio.

Obviously, this gave Illusio a GIANT inferiority complex, and he grew to hate his brother more and more everyday

Finally, one day Illusio snapped, it was something insignificant, to this day Illusio can’t remember what it was that set him off

But he ended up strangling his brother to death.  

It wasn’t planned, but he didn’t regret it.  He quickly packed up what few things he had and ran away from home

Illusio hasn’t made any contact with his family, and they haven’t made any with him to this day.  It’s probably better this way

He joined Passione soon after for protection against the law, and manifested Man in the Mirror

Man in the Mirror was obviously influenced with his fears of inadequacy, as well as manifesting a safe space from him from others

He would isolate himself when he was having issues with his family as a child, and that manifested into the mirror world when he received his stand

He’s become obsessed with himself and his self-appearance to overcompensate for his lack of support and care as a child, which is why it’s mirrors

Because he was so often gaslit as a child, he is able to physically control who comes or goes into his “World” as  a means of protection and self preservation

FORMAGGIO:

 Formaggio’s mom was a single parent, trying her best to raise him

She kept trying to find a husband, but she had a bad habit of picking awful dudes

Best case, Formaggio got ignored, worst case, he got hit a few times by his mom’s partner

Eventually, Formaggio’s mom landed a man who was willing to marry her and adopt Formaggio

He was nice enough to his mother, but he really wasn't interested in raising Formaggio at all

It didn’t help Formaggio was a hyperactive annoying child- he couldn’t help it, he was left to raise himself

Formaggio’s stepfather was fairly wealthy, and did regularly spoil him and his mom with presents and money

But he still mistreated  Formaggio- purposefully ignoring him, beating him if he acted up

He and Formaggio fought a lot, and unfortunately Fomaggio’s mom sided with her new husband

She still worked most of the day, and had lost several boyfriends due to Formaggio’s behavior, so she thought that was the case here

Even if she wanted to, she literally couldn’t afford divorce- she needed his money

So Formaggio’s relationship with his stepfather got worse and worse

It wasn’t until Formaggio was a teenager, however, that Formaggio found a solution

He hung around a lot of bad kids,and got involved with Passione.

He found out that his stepfather had pissed off some higher ups in Passione 

He ended up killing his stepfather to gain the favor of the gang, and that was how he got into la squadra

Also, He ended up leaving home, and never actually finished high school

Little Feet is a way for Formaggio to feel the control that he never had as a child, and to put his enemies into the same position he was in for years with his mother and stepfather

Like his mother and father, he still has to deal with monetary issues- he has problems saving money and wants to live it up while he has it.

Just another reason he was so eager to kill the boss and take over Passione

RISOTTO: 

Risotto was the only child of his two parents, who died tragically in a car crash.  Despite just being a baby, he was able to survive with minor injury, but his stand was awakened as a result

He was adopted by His Mother’s sister, and lived with his Aunt uncle and their own child.  

Their family was HEAVILY religious, Roman Catholic of course, and very strict with Risotto and his cousin

His cousin, a few years older than Risotto, was the only one openly warm with him

His Aunt and Uncle were cold and distant, and it wasn’t helped by the fact that Risotto seemed to be “Cursed”

Accidents, though relatively small, followed Risotto like the plague 

Kids who teased Risotto’s bizarre eyes would end up stepping on a nail at the playground

People who yelled at Risotto and his cousin on the street would get unexplained nosebleeds

Risotto’s aunt was starting to believe he was possessed by a demon, or being punished for some unknown sin

They started disciplining him whenever anything bizarre happened, and taking him to church 

They even tried having an exorcist perform on him, but it continued

Risotto’s cousin didn’t believe it though, he knew Risotto wasn’t evil and wouldn’t hurt anyone

Without him, Risotto didn’t have a friend in the world

His eyes were odd, he prematurely greyed, and he grew very tall and large from a young age.  

So he got a lot of weird looks, followed by random accidents and bloody injuries which got worse and worse

It started to become too much for Risotto, and his cousin realized this

He knew he and Risotto had to get away from his parents, so he got a driver’s license, saved up money, and made a plan with Risotto to escape 

On the day they planned to leave, their Parents caught them, and got into a big fight

There was lots of yelling, even some violence, but Risotto and his cousin managed to escape

As they were leaving, Risotto’s aunt called out that they were disowned, and that Risotto was an evil monster

In the car, Risotto’s cousin tried to comfort him, who was visibly upset, but he just couldn’t stay calm.

As if possessed, His cousins arms moved the steering wheel, screaming in pain

Nails and Razor blades were poking out of his skin, and he lost control of the car

They ended up crashing the car, and Risotto’s cousin was dying

Risotto’s cousin looked at Risotto like he never had before: Afraid.

He called him a monster, that he must have really hurt all those other people, and now he had killed him

His cousin died in Risotto’s arms, and Risotto lost everything

He destroyed the car he and his cousin had been in, and everyone assumed he had died in the wreckage

Eventually, his talents were noticed by Passione, and he worked his way up to head Capo of La Squadra Execuzione

Risotto never fully recovered from losing his cousin, and became obsessed with controlling his powers and emotions

As a result, he became a cold and ruthless leader his men respected

However, he can’t help caring for his squad, they’re all he has left at this point

His job, his teammates, they’re all his life consists of at this point.

Why is his stand like that?  Who knows, he was just a child when he manifested it

It wasn’t his choice to have this power, but he’ll make the best of it, for his team’s sake

SORBET AND GELATO: 

Sorbet grew up in a poor family, and spent most of his time on the streets trying to earn a living.  He dropped out of school early to join the workforce as soon as possible, and joined the military to leave his family.

He doesn’t hate his family or anything, they tried their best, but there’s just too many painful memories of starving and helplessness.

He met Gelato in the Military, he came from a long family line of soldiers

Gelato learned from an early age how to fight and defend himself, and had to deal with a lot of toxic masculinity and violent older siblings

Sorbet and Gelato ended up bonding, just friends at first but after a time they figured out their feelings

Tired of Military BS, they decided to desert, and ended up joining Passione

They don’t do a job without the other, and either share a room or their own apartment

They’ve dealt with a lot of discrimination because of their sexuality, but Passione doesn’t judge them for it, even if they don’t pay as much as they should

Besides, killing is their specialty, what else would they do?