#i cried tons

[httpiastri]

im crying so bad i hate f2 why is it always pepe 😭😭😭😭 tell me about your experience with him pls 🥨

1. i truly too hate f2 😭 esp because its ALWAYS PEPE 😭😭😭

2. this is such a bad pic but i thought i hadnt taken any pics but then i remembered a pic i took on thursday morning of all the bracelets i made sooooooo

idk i don’t like it a lot but 😭 good enough (and it didnt look like it was too tight around his wrist aaaaaaa so thankful)

3. I DIDNT HAVE TIME TO FOCUS ON HOW HE SMELLED AAAAAA I WAS TOO NERVOUS 😭 (and too focused on his hands-) i am pretty sure he smiled at me but it's all such a blur… plus he was definitely upset abt the races so :(( but no yes there were definitely smiles!!!!

4. okay story time!! i will try to cut this as short as possible but here we go!! sooo i was actually just casually strolling down the f3 paddock for no reason when i just happened to look into the campos tent and there he was !! he and sebastian just stood and chatted for a long time looking all cute as always, and i was cursing myself for putting the bracelet i wanted to give him in another bag because this is such a lovely opportunity……. but i rushed away the like 200 meters to my bag and got the bracelet and when i got back they were still there!! and then after a while of waiting they were separating and pepe got onto his little electrical scooter and was about to drive off and i was heartbroken because nooo what if he just drives off in another direction and i have no way to catch up?? (i was standing a bit away from the truck because i didnt wanna bother them too much)

and like there were two separate ways to the f2 truck… and what are the odds that he chose the way that was right where i was standing? like he was driving exactly up to me??? so i just took a deep breath and said his name… he had so much speed that he drove past me, and he just as well couldve pretended not to hear or just looked back and said "hi" before keeping driving, but he turned around and drove back to me 🥺 and so i asked if i could give him a bracelet and he said "of course!" 🥺 and i said i was sorry about the weekend but that he would come back in monza and just 😭 wait i actually cant write about this without tearing up a little 😭😭 idk he was just super sweet and we chatted real quick about the future and he was so cute and i just 😭😭😭😭 like i said, he seemed a bit upset still about the weekend (very understandable!!!) but he still seemed a bit optimistic! and as he drove off, he wished me a great day and i just 🫠🥺😭🥰🫨😭😭😭

[purplebehittindifferent]

I have added a quirky comment here for the last year and a half, however now… I have no words.

jk I have all these words 👇

I know it is very bitter sweet, but this is the end of Reconnecting. Thank you all for coming along on this journey with me. I plan on making a behind the scenes video on my YT sometime soon. Feel free to send any asks you have I want to answer them all!

Please know I am not going to dissapear! I still plan on making content consistently, and my original comic RULE 5 is already underway, and if you’d like I’m certainly not against writing some exposition fics for Reconnecting 💜

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[kdelarenta]

who, me? what am i thinking about? oh, nothing in particular - just penelope visibly upset after her one chance at an engagement had been ruined and her mother asking her what she did wrong to cause that, penelope downright asking her if she cared about her beyond having a ring on her finger and portia ignoring her in favor of her other daughter, penelope calling herself stupid and everyone around her calling her stupid for thinking she could ever find love, cressida ripping her dress, the ton calling her pathetic and constantly making fun of her, telling colin not to concern himself with the featherington girl because she simply does. not. matter. people ignoring her or scowling at her, colin asking eloise if she wants him to drop penelope and eloise saying no because he's all penelope has at the moment. penelope comparing herself to the dead stag on the wall.

[sheerakk]

a

[dylancameron]

Bitch, I cried so fucking hard in these scenes.

[kamapon]

I made these a while ago 🤭✨

[sharknark]

⬇️rant about a really good hengren (reverse renheng) fic i read. link at the bottom give it a whirl

i've never read a fic so well-catered to my tastes before in my life and the best part is that i was so caught off guard by how good it was cuz the tags and summary had me like "right this is some omegaverse-esque, rawr XD mating shit"

but from the very first paragraph i realized it wasn't just ao3-typical possessive mating shit it was (dare i say) IN CHARACTER possessive mating shit. underappreciated dan feng lore is the two hearts shit, duty expects him to smother his own empathy and perform cruelty obediently (and that being in his dragon form literally numbs his empathy towards mortals) but then it's flipped around and he's criticized for being too heartless

there aren't a great many english fics that take advantage of the 'numbed empathy' thing, so this fic using that to explore the toxic codependency that drove dan feng to making yingxing immortal in the first place is so!

dan feng's dragon heart prioritizing it's own indulgence and power, his human heart screaming against it for empathy and restraint, but both hearts united in this possessive adoration of yingxing... dan feng is possessive to the point of harming his partner, forcing them to take his affection, inherently contradictive to the protective impulse to see the other unhurt.

dan feng makes yingxing immortal in a really sketchy operation, despite knowing that yingxing is literally defined by his pride in being a short-life. he wants yingxing to be with him so badly that he does the one thing that would hurt yingxing the most, too blinded by possession, this sickly overbearing affection, to empathetically respect yingxing's death.

yingxing lived cramming every second he could into his craft and his goals precisely because he has so much less time than all the immortal species around him, but when he's forced into immortality, his hands are scarred and ruined past the point of ever crafting again. he suddenly has so much time, all this time he would've cherished as a mortal, but is totally useless to him now that his purpose for living and passion is gone.

so there being a scene in this fic where dan feng is moping "yingxing doesn't wanna fuck because he's glued to his workshop", being followed up with a scene of dan heng fucking blade while kissing his scarred hand and crying that he's "so sorry", yeah no shit asshole, his dragon heart got what it wanted, blade has all the time in the world to fuck and nothing competing for his now limitless attention and no one's happy about it.

as arrogant about being a short-life as yingxing was, it really is compensation for the discrimination he faced for it. other immortals looked down on him, so having dan feng, THE top dog, be so deeply enamored with him stirred his own toxic codependent urges. he was so desperate to have dan feng's eternal regard that he's willing to die for him (as in the sedition), his death being the force cementing his place in dan feng's heart forever.

so the fic having yingxing ruminate on this, that he had hoped for dan feng to love him even centuries after he inevitably died, only for the fic to end with:

yeah yingxing... you left an impression... he made you immortal.... everyone's upset by this

(that's what makes dan heng forgetting blade was ever yingxing to begin with all the more painful because, you went and turned him immortal and when it backfired horrifically you went on and fucking forgot, bitch i'd be pissed to the point of centuries long bloody pursuit of vengeance too.)

here's the fic go read it and leave kudos and a comment, technically porn but i got so invested in the character study that part barely registered. also yeah if you hadn't realized already super dead-dove:

blah blah "renheng is toxic" sorry that's why i like it

[whamss]

"Vampire bites secrete a venom that numbs the pain" cowards!!! I think when Kanaya bites Rose it should hurt like a bitch.

Is it not romantic? To let yourself be in agonizing pain so your wife can feed on you? To have to feel her long teeth penetrate your veins and drink your blood and endure every painful second of it, only to let her do it again and again?

[motleyfam]

PLEASE COULD WE MAYBE GET LIKE A VIBE OF WHAT THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SETTLE OUR BONES IS GOING TO BE ABOUT NO PRESSURE JUST CURIOUS

The vibe is it’s kicking my ass 😂

[jenna-louise-jamie]

thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.

i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.

i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.

where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.

while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.

[parkercore-69]

thank you J.R.R. Tolkien for writing the most devastating romantic subplot in your lotr books without even realising it

[bitter---wing]

this may very possibly be my nicest birthday despite my horrible age I love u all

[yee-haw-wizard]

welp i quit my job today (with no backup)

[thebirdandhersong]

my mother (a teacher) confirmed a few days ago that she's cried at every graduation so far. girls if I become a teacher (if that's God's will and call in my life), I'm so thoroughly headed down that same track.

[strangertheories]

Mike: Wow, El commissioned this painting?

Will:

[fadelikeclouds]

“Even if other people don’t forgive you, you need to learn to forgive yourself.” - Team’s mother

But Team can’t forgive himself. He doesn’t know how, and so he goes to Ton’s grave to look for forgiveness from someone who can’t give it to him. (I’m crying.) Not to mention the way he runs away when he hears someone else coming to visit Ton’s grave, like he doesn’t have a right to be there, grieve there. (I’m still crying.)

Then he’s crying behind that bush as he looks at the gold medal that should have belonged to Ton. He feels like he’s stolen everything from Ton from his life to this gold medal. He doesn’t feel like he deserves anything, or has earned anything for himself. It’s all a debt that he’s desperately trying to repay, because he survived and Ton didn’t. It’s all so overwhelming, and he wishes that he had died instead.

But in this dark place, he calls Win. Which is a big deal because Team avoids burdening others with his problems. Sure, he'll beg Pharm for snacks, and ask Win to treat him to a meal. But he doesn’t tell anyone about his insomnia and anxiety. He doesn’t tell anyone that he almost drowned recently. Win discovered these things by accident and because he cared about Team, not because Team told him about them. So just the fact that these two have cultivated a relationship where Team is able to call Win, asking for someone to hold him together while he falls apart, is just so immensely beautiful to me. Because whether Team realizes it or not, he already believes that Win will be there for him no matter what, that Win will catch him.

And here is a person who desperately wants Team to stay alive. Win doesn’t know exactly what happened in Team’s past, and he can’t make Team forgive himself. All he can do is tell him how much he means to him, and that’s just really lovely. Because what Team needs right now isn’t someone who will tell him, “it’s not your fault”. He’s not in the mindset to be able to process and accept that. He needs someone to tell him that his life matters, that if he were to die there’s someone who might be just as devastated as Ton’s mother is. He might not be able to forgive himself yet, but he can start to see that he is valued.

TLDR: I love these two with my whole heart. I love seeing Team reach out for help when he's in the depths of his self-loathing. And I love how Win's love and care have melted away the walls that have been keeping Team isolated in his own pain.