#i could never give you peace (would it be enough?)

[daycourtofficial]

Tell me I’m the only, only, only, only, only one

Pairing: Eris x reader x Azriel | WC: 3.5k | warnings: none

Summary: secrets threaten to swallow you whole as you work up the courage to tell Azriel about being his mate. Unfortunately, you aren’t the only one with secrets

Author’s note: this came from a draft I found BURIED okay I was looking for a different azris x reader draft but found this and had to finish it

Today was the day. Everything lined up - Feyre and Rhys were at the River House hosting an overnight play date for Nyx and one of his friends. Cassian and Nesta had taken some of the Valkyries to Day to see the pegasi. Mor was somewhere on the continent. Amren was likely at her apartment, but she came by less and less frequently these days.

The sun had just set, the night sky bright and endless as it hovered over the House of Wind. You and Azriel had the entire place to yourselves.

It was a sign from the Mother. You had to tell him. You stood before your mirror, wanting every piece of hair to fall perfectly into place. You took a few deep breaths, failing to calm the beating of your heart.

Everything was going to change. You smiled at your reflection, certain that everything will work out. It had to.

So what if Azriel had pined after two females that weren’t you? That didn’t matter. Not when he was always so kind to you, seeking you out during parties. He always sat next to you at dinner, the two of you fully engaged in conversation the entire time.

His pining toward Mor and then Elain always felt strange to you. It never happened around you, you hardly saw him even glance their way. You only knew about it from Cassian’s love of gossip.

“It should be you he focuses on - the two of you are so similar. And so annoying.”

His words likely meant nothing to him - especially the end when you had stolen food from his plate. But his words echoed in your mind, echoed around the string nearly suffocating your heart.

The two of you were well suited. You complemented each other. Surely, if he didn’t love you now, Azriel could grow to love you. It should be easy.

Would you want someone who had to grow to love you? You shook the thought from your head, certain the Mother wouldn’t lead you astray like that.

Your thoughts led you outside his door. The words had laid dormant on your tongue for too long, weeks going by without admitting the truth to him.

You knocked on his door quickly, not wanting nerves to get the better of you. You couldn’t help lightly bouncing on your feet as you waited, listening to the shuffles behind the door. Each sound of footfalls made your heart rate quicken.

Azriel poked his head out the door, a small smile when his eyes fell on you.

“Sorry to intrude, but can I come in? I want to talk to you about something.”

Surprise at your demand showed on his face, but he opened the door wider, letting you come in. The sight of you in his room wasn’t unheard of, but you had never so boldly asked to come in.

You walked through the threshold, noticing immediately a suitcase on his bed, nearly full before his shadows quickly closed and latched the lid.

“Are you going somewhere?” You couldn’t stop the question from coming out.

“I was going to take a few days to myself. Enjoy some quiet at my cabin.”

Your heart had been bursting with secrets lately. Months ago Azriel had confided in you he had a cabin somewhere he liked to hide away in when he needed to get away.

That tidbit of knowledge was secured deep in your fantasies, a story you told yourself before going to sleep about him whisking you away to his cabin.

“Oh - well, I hope I’m not interrupting your need for peace.”

“Nonsense. I find your presence quite peaceful, anyway.” Your heart was in your throat at his words. His casual admittance giving you just enough strength to be bold.

“That is very kind of you. I find your presence to also be peaceful and delightful.” He smiled down at you, his full attention on your words. That was always what drew you to Azriel the most. You have always had his full attention whenever you spoke to him, and he always recalled the smallest of details from your conversations.

He saw you. He noticed you. The Mother made him for you and you for him.

“Well, Azriel. We are friends, right? And friends tell each other things and are honest, right?” You wrung your hands with your fingers, needing something to expel your nervous energy.

“Yes. I am always honest with you.” His words came out with a slight chuckle, a tilt to his head, wondering where this was going.

“Great. I have actually been keeping something from you for a while. At first I had to take some time myself to understand, and then I was waiting for the right time.”

“Go on.” He looked radiant with the light of the moon cutting across his face. No male could compare to his beauty. His words of encouragement and his smile at your nervousness were all you needed for the words to come tumbling out.

“I am in love with you. I have been for a long time, and I kept it to myself, but a few weeks ago, the mating bond snapped and I-“

“A mating bond?” His words were sharper than you had ever heard him speak to you before. His shadows swirled around your feet, occasionally jumping and leaping to reach you, but never quite making it.

“Yes, it-“

“You’re certain?” His words were making you shrink ever so slightly. The shadows had now begun swirling around the two of you, like they were trapping the two of you into a bubble.

“Yes, it-“

“To me?”

You tugged hard on the bond, pulling as hard as you could to release him from the shocked stupor he was in. It knocked him off balance, his feet stuttering forward before he righted himself. His scarred hands rubbed absently at his chest, his brows knitted in confusion.

“Let me finish, Azriel.” The shadows that had been swirling around the two of you floated down, sweeping across the floor. A few moved toward you, swirling around your body, helping you stay upright.

He didn’t listen to your words, only shook his head in response. He dragged his fingers down his face, muttering something you couldn’t quite make out.

He looked once more at you before he reached out, his hands taking hold of your shoulders before the two of you were whisked through space in his shadows.

“Azriel!” You pushed off of him the second you felt solid ground beneath your feet, putting distance between the two of you. “This is not what I hoped-“

“Be quiet.”

Your eyes widened at his words, taking a moment to take in your surroundings. He winnowed the two of you right in front of a cabin door, the structure surrounded on all sides by thick forest.

“Okay Azriel, you could have just rejected me - not bring me to who knows where.” You ignored his command, irritation lacing your words.

“No, I just- wait here.” He shut the door quickly behind himself, leaving you alone. Your heart felt heavy as you looked about the woods, uncertain if you wanted to know what laid in the darkness.

Whatever scent lingered from beneath the door was familiar, but you couldn’t quite pinpoint it. You were stuck - you could winnow home, you supposed. But why did he bring you out here? Would he leave you out here, wanting to know how long you’d stay and wait? Surely the bond would make him protective enough to let you die from the elements, right? The thought caused the string around your heart to play a sad, out of tune note.

You weren’t sure how long you were standing outside, a brisk breeze making you well aware of your lack of coat. The door opened once more, Azriel coming back out before he quickly shut the door behind himself, not letting you see inside.

“Az, what are we doing here?”

He held out a hand to you, his other back on the knob of the door.

“I have never brought anyone from the Inner Circle here.”

You grew frustrated at his words, a tiny hint of pride at being the first of your family to visit here. You accepted his hand, noting there really wasn’t any other decision you could make.

He opened the door and you took in the space. It was small - just the one room connected to a kitchen. It held a massive bed - somehow larger than the ones in Velaris. There wasn’t much in the way of decorations - the house was void of any indication of who lived in it. Your eyes stopped on the redheaded male who was moving about the kitchen, the sight of him short circuiting your brain.

“You said you’ve never brought anyone else here before.” Somehow amidst all the confusion, that was what your brain settled on.

“He said no one from the Inner Circle had been here. The door’s not as thick as you are, Azriel.” Eris’s voice was full of chastisement, clicking his tongue at the end to accent his point. You glanced between the pair, even more confused now that Eris had opened his mouth, the comment almost affectionate.

You shook your head, dismissing the thought. “Look, Az, I get it, this is something you don’t want-“ “Now I didn’t say-“ “so we can just go back to Velaris and I can move out.”

“What is she talking about?” Eris’s voice was loud to accomodate for the banging of pots and pans. He was cooking something, the cherry on top of ‘well, why not this too?’

You looked up at the ceiling, fighting back tears to what has quickly become the worst moment of your life. This was all so strange, you were certain you had hit your head somewhere, your body likely unconscious in Azriel’s room. Maybe none of this happened, and you fell on something in your room.

When you woke up, you were certainly never confessing to him.

“Tell him.” Azriel’s prodding words confused you even more. You looked at him in bewilderment. He had the same look on his face he does when he’s about to win a card game - no matter what move you make, he’s right in his assessment.

“Tell him? Azriel I think telling someone they’re your mate and them not wanting it is embarrassing enough, why do we have to drag in a spectator?”

His face fell slightly, something pooling in his eyes you couldn’t quite make out.

“Why do you think Azriel is your mate?”

You cocked your head at Eris, never having officially met him. You would recognize him anywhere - the long red hair, the ornate clothes decorated with autumn leaves, the scent of bonfire and whiskey stuck to him.

No one in the Inner Circle had ever told you how stunning he was, his beauty making other males look like mortals next to him. Except Azriel.

“I assume we can skip the pleasantries, Eris. Every facet of this night is more confusing than the last. Why are you cooking?”

“Because otherwise I will die of starvation. Or be even more intolerable due to hunger.”

You wished for a wall behind you to bang your head into. They may have omitted his beauty, but they weren’t wrong about him being difficult.

“Why are you in Azriel’s cabin?”

“I asked my question first.”

“Well, Eris, if you must know the inner workings of my personal life, Azriel is my mate and instead of being happy or even indifferent he brought me here to you for some reason. Can I go now?” The tears started forming in the corner of your eye, your fist clenched as you spoke.

“No,” they replied in unison, not looking at you. They both mirrored each other, their crossed arms not giving anything away as they silently argued, unsure when Azriel moved closer to Eris. You could make out a few words from the hushed tones, but it was impossible to hear them.

It took you a moment to realize Eris had stopped cooking when Azriel approached. He was giving him his full attention as they spoke to each other.

This was a very odd dream indeed.

“I’ve felt a pull to you.” Azriel was still looking at Eris, and you weren’t certain who he was talking to until he shifted his eyes to you. “I have always been drawn to you, needed to be near you. I didn’t want to think we were mates, because Eris is my mate.”

You blinked multiple times, the idea trying to make itself comprehensible to you. You looked around, certain to find some trace Rhysand had built this imaginary reality as a practical joke.

“No, that's not possible. If it’s not me, it had to be because of Elain or Mor.”

Eris scoffed, his annoyance clear across his face, his movements becoming more hurried as he added things to a pot. “Sorry to disappoint the both of you by not having breasts.”

“Eris.” An admonishing hiss from Azriel caused the Autumn heir to roll his eyes, not even looking at the glare the shadowsinger sent him.

“Forgive me. Forgive my mate for his deceits being so well done it fooled even his female mate.” Eris refused to pull his focus from his cooking, hardly acknowledging you with his body.

“Azriel and I have been together for some time, a rouse that is perpetuated by his supposed infatuation with the other females close to you.”

For some reason, his words stung. Azriel had been faking affection for them? If he could do that, why didn't he fake them for you?

As if reading your thoughts, Eris continued. “He was feeling something for you, something he hardly wanted to admit to me. But we have been looking into it. It seems no one has ever had this.”

“Had what?”

“Two mates.”

Your head was reeling, a migraine forming as you tried to process every bit of information you were given. Something gnawed at you - some insecurity making itself known in this odd circumstance.

“Were you getting close to me as an experiment?” That drew Azriel from his silence, his steps moving toward you.

“No - gods no. I like you, I like spending time with you. I’m drawn to you - I can’t help it.”

“He yearns.” Eris’s voice was flat as hid words came out, Azriel quickly spun on his heel and looked toward his mate.

His other mate, you supposed.

“I do not yearn.”

“You complain about missing her when you’re here.” Azriel’s cheeks heated in embarrassment, the first sense of affection you've felt from him since arriving.

Eris stopped stirring, turning his full attention toward you. His gaze left heat all across you, as if his eyes could penetrate your clothes, seeing your body and soul beneath. You can’t tell if he’s making the room warmer or if that’s just you.

“In the concept of honesty, I have to say you are… something.” His words broke you out of whatever stupor you had found yourself in.

“Thank you, Eris. That is the best non-descript compliment or insult I’ve ever received.”

“It’s not an insult.” You scoffed, uncertain how to respond. He straightened himself, standing tall as he continued. “Do you wish for me to wax poetic about my mate’s new mate? Divine, delectable, take your pick.”

Was he flirting with you? The notion made no sense, but something Azriel told you about Eris years ago had always stuck.

If you want to get anywhere with him, you have to play his game.

“My mate has a very pretty mate.” It was true and something Eris was more than aware of about himself. He scoffed, picking up a spoon and going back to cooking, but you continued. “Should I wax poetic about you, hm? Tell you all about how you look like a predator prepared to pounce and I’d be more than willing to be beneath you?”

Eris stopped his cooking, his spoonclattering as he took his time drinking you in.

“I thought you said she was timid and shy?” His question was directed at Azriel, but he kept looking at you. His gaze stayed on you, not wavering, seeing something he found interesting.

“That’s because Azriel runs at the potential for intimacy, I had to ease him into it.” Something close to a laugh escaped from Eris. His gaze finally moved toward the shadowsinger.

“I like her, Azriel. We can keep her.”

“I am not some toy to claim ownership to.” Eris paid you no mind, turning back to his cooking. You couldn’t figure out what he was making, but it smelled divine.

“Of course not, but you are my mate’s mate and that means I have to like you before making decisions about you.” Your heart stalled at his words, the air getting thinner around you.

“What do you mean by decisions?”

“Eris.” Azriel cut in for the first time in a while, and you would have forgotten about his presence if it hadn’t been for the bond humming.

“Well, I mean he is my mate already. He’s accepted the bond with me. If I didn’t like you, he’d just reject you.”

“He wouldn’t just-“ your words stopped, your statement unable to continue. Your throat went dry with the look Azriel gave Eris. It was a split second, but it was enough.

They clearly had discussed it - some topic they had mulled over several times, working through every scenario. Eris’s words were of such nonchalance, such subtle cruelty.

They would decide to shatter your heart without any thought or input from you.

It was getting hot, your clothes too much on your skin. Your breathing rose again, too shallow to fully take in a breath.

“So you’ve been- what? Keeping it a secret for months that Eris is your mate and that I’m your mate? Were you test running me this whole time?” Your voice came out squeaky, but you were too upset to care.

“No, I didn’t know-“ Azriel was scrambling, his eyes pleading with the truth. “I didn’t know, I was curious-“

“I mean, I knew you kept secrets, but this is- Eris and-“ your breaths were coming shorter and shorter, the cabin swaying slightly as it got harder to breathe. This couldn’t be real, it had to be some fictional reality. The bond in your chest was crying in agony, desperate for you to be closer to Azriel and to stop arguing.

“Azriel, she's self-destructing.” Eris didn’t move from his spot, continuing his cooking as if you had made an astute observation about the weather.

“I can see that.”

“Do something. She’s your mate.”

You pushed the hair from your face, straightening your shoulders. You blinked slowly, trying to clear your gaze. You had been a fool this whole time, that much was true. You were an experiment to Az - this whole time he had his suspicions, and you were nothing but a test subject he could drop at a moment’s notice. The collateral damage of your heart meant nothing to him.

He had Eris. Why would he want you?

“It’s clear now that you already have your hands full, Azriel. I’ll bow out respectfully.” The words came out cold, not a hint of the warmth you felt for Azriel laced them.

“Sweetheart-“

His shadows swirled around you, desperate to keep you close, to pull you closer to him. You batted them away, not wanting their comfort.

They knew. Azriel knew. Eris knew. This was all a joke to them.

“I’d be a fool to compete with Eris Vanserra over anything, including you Azriel. You’ve told me a hundred times how Autumn Court males sink their teeth into things and don’t let go.” Had his words been a warning? Had he been mated to him when he told you that? How far did these lies run? “Clearly you know from experience.”

You winnowed away, Azriel’s hand inches from where you stood. His shadows exploded, several moving around Eris, the Autumn heir batting them away with little effort.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Azriel directed all of his anger toward Eris.

“You were my mate first.”

“You practically pissed all over me, marking your territory. You couldn’t keep your mouth shut for me to speak!”

“Shall I hike up my leg? I thought such things didn’t interest you.”

Azriel breathed deeply, clenching and unclenching his fists to keep his anger in check.

“Besides, you wouldn’t speak. You clammed up.”

“We discussed this. You knew how important this was to me. This all went wrong.” Azriel was tugging at his hair, the bond swirling in his chest with your despair.

“Yes, yes. I know how my mate was quite taken with a female he lives with. Forgive me for not being thrilled.” Eris let the tiniest hint of hurt show on his face, his first display of emotion all night. Azriel spotted it immediately, his anger dissipating slightly.

“She might be your mate, too.” Azriel’s words were a whisper, a soft hope he was speaking into existence. The Mother wouldn’t give him two mates who hated each other, would she?

Eris gave a dismissive look Azriel’s way. “I suppose we’ll never know now.”

Divider by @tsunami-of-tears

Author’s note: any ideas for part two 👀

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Eris taglist: @magicstrengthandcourage @book-obsessed124

Azriel taglist: @brieflyclassymortal @thisiskaylin @magicstrengthandcourage @slytherintaco @userxs-blog @emryb

[moonlight-prose]

“please don’t make me say it if you aren’t going to say it back” with a desperately in love with joel reader would hit so much…

weaved around your finger like yarn

a/n: me writing for joel again?? this has sat in my inbox for over a year and i never meant to actually take this long with it. but i finally figured out how to write this concept. and now i am actually obsessed with the small world of softness i created for these two. this is yes jackson joel, but nothing bad happens ever to him because why would it? it's all fine right?

summary: he never made space in his life for love in the aftermath of destruction. the after of his life he once thought would extend past decades of gray hair, smile lines carved in around his mouth now set in frowns and sneers. but snowfall and alcohol blur the lines for both of you when winter comes to jackson.

word count: 1.6k+

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: not explicit, love confessions, heavy makeout sessions, alcohol consumption, tipsy joel, sad joel, laughter at the end of the world, hope.

He can't remember laughing until his stomach hurt. The ache that spilled into his chest, warming his insides with a sun like quality that left him shivering. He can't recall the feel of his cheeks pulled so wide the sensation became a phantom pain seconds after. He knows it happened. He can distinctly recall the jokes, the joy. But the laughter lingers like a ghost at the back of his mind—translucent and gray and distorted enough to feel false.

Alcohol simmers in his stomach with a rueful intent. A malignant aftermath that would hit him in a few hours after two months of attempted sobriety. Ellie insisted, he accepted. Easy enough to say. Difficult to follow through with.

He had his days where whiskey sounded better than the flavor of bacon Tommy would bring him in the early mornings. But the dismay in your eyes helped him hold off, regain his awareness of a world not yet shattered. For once in quite a long time...he finally lived. For you, for Ellie, for Sarah.

He lived to see his hair grow longer and the grays appear more frequently. To drink coffee in the mornings on a porch you were already settled on. To help you fix small things here and there in your cabin next door. He lived for your smile, the light in your eyes. The curve of your lips as they pulled up into bolstering peals of laughter—the furrow in your brow as you frowned from endless frustrations on long hard days.

Joel Miller lived to love you.

He existed to dig his heels in and wait shit out—it's what he was good at, what he knew how to do. But for you he relented quicker than ice on a hot asphalt driveway back home in Texas. His mind became sand that slipped through your giving hands—heart a fluttering mess that sang a tune he could never get right on the guitar stashed in his living room.

Days bloomed into weeks which grew into months. Eventually a year passed and what used to be difficult and awkward to be around people again, felt like breathing the fresh winter air. The jackets he managed to find hung on hooks by the door, a pair of heavy boots beside the small table Tommy crafted him.

The mornings were nice. When hot water hit ground coffee and the aroma plagued his kitchen for hours at a time. The evenings called you towards him—simple cooking skills shared in the confines of a home he pined for you to reside in.

Life was a sliver of peace he never imagined he'd get again. But the hole in his heart never faded, the pain still rang out sharp enough to have him clamping down on the inside of his cheek. And your smile made his stomach ache with a longing deep enough to scar.

Tommy told him to buck up and do something. Ellie called him a fucking idiot.

You...gave no indication you felt the same way. So silent and reserved he would remain.

Your feet slid on icy, fingers gripping tightly to his jacket with a yelp in a quick attempt to save yourself from slamming to the ground. Joel snickered loud and brash and a wash of embarrassment burned under frozen cheeks. Dragging you up, his arm looped tightly around your waist—hand pressed harsh and insistent to the small of your back. You swallowed the butterflies at the sight of his face flushed red—eyes shining from the effect of too much whiskey.

"We were bad tonight," you muttered, breath forming a cloud between your faces.

He grinned—skin buzzing at the close proximity of your form. "Only a little bit."

"You're not supposed to drink Joel."

Leaning in he traded his smile like a secret; you tucked it into your chest with a sharp breath. "I won't tell if you don't, darlin'."

"Joel..."

"C'mon. No one's gettin' in trouble here."

A blade pierced your heart brutally—spilling crimson along pale white snow. Even as Joel remained entirely unaware of how you clung to him. How your body called his name—your mind plagued with thoughts of his being, with images of his smile, with the sound of his raspy voice. He'd never know the way you cherished each moment with him. The mornings tucked away from an unruly world—the nights shared between friends who might one day be more.

Your teeth scraped along the cracked skin of your bottom lip, eyes cast up to the curl of his lips. The words sprang forth faster than you could drag them back. Your chest of secrets unlocked and bared to the man who drowned you in his small flecks of joy. Later you'd blame the alcohol. When the headache ravaged your head and an ache lingered between your thighs.

Later you'd comb over every small glance and breathy word.

"I like spending time with you Joel," you breathed, fingers toying with the front of his leather coat. "I like...um..."

The breath caught in his throat, gaze desperate to catch yours. "Yeah sugar?"

"It's a hard thing to say." Another cloud of your whiskey tinged breath filled the air.

"You can tell me anythin'. You know that right?" Even as hope flared bright and scorching through the width of his chest. "I'll listen."

Hesitation spilled into the night, your voice a soft whisper he barely caught. "Please don't make me say it if you aren't going to say it back."

Oh didn't you know?

Did you not see how his gaze dug beneath the layers of flesh and bone, of tendons and veins that clung to your form? Did you not understand he would take a bullet for you? That he'd bear the wound of a warrior's death to keep you alive? How could you not know that his love stuck to his tongue with a saccharine bitterness he swallowed down like the drugs he once took to numb his mind?

You healed pieces of his soul you never broke. A marred and fucked puzzle that was meant to find a home six feet underground. By his own hand no less. He was destined to die—born to suffer—yet you swathed him wool with the promise of a peaceful life.

A future etched by the hands of love.

"Say it," he pleaded, frozen hand cupping your cheek.

"It's more than just that." The breath you took shot adrenaline down his spine. "I like our mornings. I like our dinners and conversation. And even when you come into town with me. But I...I love..."

The glossy nature of your eyes created by unshed tears that pooled at your waterline dug the knife deep enough to meld it within his heart. You didn't know. You couldn't have. His silence, his hesitation, swallowed every emotion he might have told you—every secret uttered in the shadows of night that told only half his story.

He told you about Sarah. About their life together, about her smile. That in itself felt like a proclamation of love—a key to the heart he thought stopped beating long ago.

"I knew it would freak you out," you muttered, pulling away from his hold.

Only for him to panic. His hand gripped the back of your jacket, pushing you towards him hard enough for your feet to slip again. But your gasp was swallowed by the cold press of his mouth to yours. Lips chapped by the winter air slid against your parted mouth as you froze against his chest. Your hands hung listlessly at your sides. He kissed you tenderly, attempting to wake you from the spell of shock, but to no avail did it bring you back.

"'M sorry." His words were muffled against your chin, forehead pressed to yours and eyes squeezed shut. "I shouldn't have–"

The press of your fingers into his cheeks jolted him back—eyes wide as you dragged him back with a stifled moan. Your mouth found his tongue hot and wet along his bottom lip in a pleading motion he complied to instantly. Stepping forward he fell into you with a deep groan. One that echoed and vibrated right down to your stomach—one you savored with a lick along his back teeth.

Hands cupped your ass with an insistent need to mold you closer, fingers digging into the plush flesh he longed to bite and taste. You tasted like whiskey. You smelled like him. It made him dizzy with want, anxious to lead you back to his porch—to seat you on his kitchen counter in the mornings while the coffee went cold.

"Fuck I wanna take ya home sugar," he grunted, biting at your lower lip with a grin.

Your breathless reply made the hair stand on the back of his neck. "You can."

"No." He shook his head, stealing another kiss with a gritty moan. "Not tonight. 'M gonna do this proper."

"Proper," you smiled, tugging on the longer curls you refused to let him cut. "You're such an old man Miller."

The large breadth of his hand cupped your chin, pushing the cheeks he lightly bit into together. "Won't be sayin' that tomorrow when I ain't got all this fuckin' alcohol in me."

"Yeah?" The droop of your eyelids—the darkened iris now filled with lust—set his teeth on edge. His body hummed with a new buzz he craved since meeting you. "Prove it."

"Oh I will." He grinned sharply, licking his teeth like a wolf waiting to pounce. "Don't you worry 'bout that."

A glimmer in your eyes caught his attention, the grip on your face loosening. "You know I love you right darlin'?"

You smiled—big and bright—and Joel felt another piece of his soul set back into place. "I love you too Joel."

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

⋆.˚ ☁︎ TEENAGE DREAM ☁︎︎ ⋆.˚

—sometimes at eighteen, young love is anything but a teenage dream.

genres・fluff // young love // awkward confessions // meet cutes. summary・love is embarrassing, especially when you're in high school. from the cozy coffee shop to the local campus, eight boys stumble through the awkward world of crushes—trying, and failing to confess to you.

a/n・I haven't been on here for a little while, but I wanted to do something silly and fun to celebrate 500 amazing followers! All of these ideas are still in the works, so the plots may change, but I'm having so much fun writing them. I get hit with a pang of nostalgia every once in a while, remembering my very first fanfiction, haha. If you want to be tagged in any of these, just comment down below or send me an ask—and always remember to support your content creators; it means the world to us!!

☁︎︎ COFFEE CUP ☁︎︎

BANG CHAN loved being a barista; not only did he get exceptional employee discounts but it was peaceful—he handed people their coffee, they said thank you and walked away—nobody ever bothered him. that is, until one night, ten minutes before closing, you walked in with your bright smile and garrulous chit-chat. It only took you one sentence to have him hooked, eagerly waiting for your next late-night visit. what is bang chan going to do when he finally works up the nerve to write his number on the sleeve of your coffee cup, only for you to toss it away without ever seeing it? (coming to your shelves December 10th)

☁︎︎ ROSE ☁︎︎

LEE KNOW was famous for being the star quarterback turned heartless bachelor—or so everybody thought. nobody could have guessed that the reason minho chased every woman away was because, hidden 60 miles from home, there was the animal shelter where he volunteered. the reason he drove an hour every day to nurture abused pets? you. what is minho going to do when, no matter how many roses he gives you, you just can’t take the hint? (coming to your shelves soon...)

☁︎︎ MOTORCYCLE ☁︎︎

︎SEO CHANGBIN. there’s nothing he loves more than his motorcycle—well, that’s not entirely true. he probably loves you more, but his motorcycle is certainly a close second. with prom looming, changbin finally gathers enough courage to ask out his long-time crush and childhood best friend. what is changbin going to do when, halfway through, he chickens out—and, in a panic, ends up ramming his motorcycle into your mailbox while trying to back out of your driveway? (coming to your shelves soon...)

☁︎︎ MY MUSE ☁︎︎

HWANG HYUNJIN has been in love with you for about as long as he’s understood the word love; stuck in the seat beside you since elementary school, hyunjin grew to adore the soft curves of your features. one day, in the middle of art class, he's struck with the urge to draw you. overcome with the fear of never getting the chance to tell you how he feels, hyunjin stuffs the picture in your locker. what is hyunjin going to do when he overhears you talking to your friends about the drawing—and you mention his enemy's name, and not his? (coming to your shelves soon...)︎︎

☁︎︎ LYRIC BOOK ☁

HAN JISUNG is dedicated to securing the top spot in his songwriting class, and nothing is going to stand in his way. that was, until three years ago, when you walked through the door, head held high, speaking of your goals as if they were already part of the present. jisung never thought there would be any competition—until there was. now, he doesn’t know whether to write songs about his overwhelming hatred or his overwhelming ardor. what is jisung going to do when, one day, you’re paired with him for a project, and you discover all the love songs he’s written about you? (coming to your shelves soon...)

☁︎︎ SUGAR AND SPICE ☁︎︎

LEE FELIX, the school's sunshine, the universe’s fallen star—nothing was going to get him down. well, except for you. no matter how hard he tries, felix just can’t form a sentence around you; his tongue twisting into sailor’s knots whenever you look his way. what is felix going to do when he tries to confess through a cake, baked fresh in the culinary class you share, but trips over his shoelaces and smears the cake all over your shirt instead? (coming to your shelves soon...)

☁︎︎ BASEBALL ☁

KIM SEUNGMIN worked with a focus nobody else seemed to reciprocate, constantly practicing to be the best pitcher this world has ever seen. his teammates respected him, his coach loved him, and the school only ever saw his poised manners—not the awkward teenager he really was. that is, until he meets you—equally shy and almost as painfully awkward, studying on the bleachers every day after school. there's something about your concentration, the self- assured direction you set for yourself, that makes him want you even more. what is he going to do when, one day after practice, he scrawls his number on a ball and chucks it toward you? and for once, the ball doesn’t go where he aimed. instead of landing in your lap, he nails you right in the forehead. (coming to your shelves soon...)

☁︎︎ THE BOOK WAS BETTER ☁︎︎

YANG JEONGIN lived in the library. on the days when he wasn’t cramming for an exam, he was relaxing with a good book. the library had always been peaceful for him—a sanctuary that students rarely ever touched. that is, until one random morning, he sees you walk in—captain of the cheerleading squad, with your tiny skirt and sparkly eyelids, jeongin almost expects you to laugh at him and his pathetic seating arrangement—all alone. but then, checking to see if anyone’s watching, you pull a book from the shelf, and begin to read it. that's how it started—now, every day during lunch, you come and read your book, safe in the shadows, creating a home nobody else knew about. what is he going to do when he starts falling for you, through the notes he slips into your book after you leave? And what will happen when the wrong girl comes in and tries to take the book? (coming to your shelves soon...)

a special thank you to @jeonginsleftcheek who helped me flesh out all these ideas. I couldn't do any of this without you!! I hope you like these stories <33

[jweekgoji]

Hiiiii, I really love your Yan! Sentinel x Prime!Reader, also your SentinelxReaderxStarscream are the best as well! I am a huge fan of both works and both characters, your writings are so *chef kiss* Can I request a somewhat mix of both please? Maybe the Prime!Reader are close with Starscream and it makes Sentinel angry/jealous? Obviously you don't have to, but if you do write for it please take your time :3

Prime!Reader/Starscream/Sentinel

tw: jealousy, rivalry (between Starscream&Sentinel), gender neutral reader. word count: ~1270 a/n: good to know you enjoyed my other fics~ sorry for making you wait too long! the last weeks are exhausting ~_~

Being one of the 13 Primes is no simple task when you have to stand between two fires.

The incoming attack from the Quintessons didn't give you a single cycle of peace either. Over and over again, you've had to brainstorm a new plan with your brothers and sisters on how to push the enemy away from Cybertron. It's exhausting.

At times, you long to lock yourself away in your own chambers, switch off your audio receptors to finally get a break from it all. But luck never seems to be on your side. Every new day started with a new problem, and for some reason, you only had to hear about it from two bots you knew.

Starscream and Sentinel.

Your day could start with an early call from Starscream, where your subordinate, though not literally, hinted at having him accompany you at all times. His presence is absolutely required!

Well that's just Prime.

But when you hear a knock on your door, you don't have to guess twice to find out who it could be. When you finally open the door, standing before you is none other than your faithful servant, Sentinel.

“You look as beautiful as ever,”  Sentinel smiles as he looks in your optics. “And your armour is so wonderfully polished, as I can see.”

Starting your afternoon meeting with compliments was something he was used to, even if his attempts to charm you with his speeches never worked. You are many cycles older than him, Sentinel's behaviour only amuses you at best.

“Zeta Prime would like to discuss something with you, let me escort you to him,” he holds his servos behind his back, taking a couple of steps back from the doorway.

“Zeta wants to see me?” you have a momentary thought. In the current time, that means another long meeting, hours of planning and working out...You nod.

“After you,” he humbly motions for you to go through first, his bright blue optics just drilling your own.

As you walk through the long corridors of the tower, the loud clacking of heels comes from somewhere behind you.

“There you are! I've been waiting for you for like practically half an hour now! Where were you all the time...’ Starscream says in annoyance, his wings twitching faintly as the high guard notices...him.

For a moment, a spark of competition runs between your two subjects. Fortunately, or not for them, it never caught your attention, though perhaps you simply preferred to turn a blind eye to it. You have too many responsibilities right now to waste time on those two.

Sentinel still holds that casual pose, helmet tilted slightly, as if the mere sight of the enraged flyer gives him some kind of enjoyment. It doesn't even help that he's standing behind you, you can't even see that nasty grin on Sentinel's face! Oh, how that slimy, hypocritical glitch is annoying-.

“Not now, Starscream. I'll deal with this later. Wait for me here,’ you calmly respond, then turn around and disappear behind the doors of the hall, where the rest of the Primes are already waiting.

The door slams shut, leaving the high guard and the advisor alone. Starscream frowns, his red optics aimed at Sentinel, who looks equally displeased.

Even though Sentinel was lucky enough to see you first today, the advisor had to come up with all sorts of excuses for you to pay the slightest bit of attention to him. He's occasionally lucky because you prefer Starscream's company to his own! Or so he thinks at first. As one of the Primes, you spend a lot of time on the battlefield, which makes you more often accompanied by Starscream.

Sentinel hates that. Most of the Primes, even Zeta himself calls on him far more often than you do! He's YOUR advisor, how can you care more about some guard?

Knowing Sentinel, if you were even with him for almost all of your time, any side glance would make him extremely jealous.

“You're doing this on purpose. Wasting their time on something that isn't helpful in the war,” Starscream crosses his arms over his chassis, not even hiding his displeasure.

“Me? I would never ,” the Sentinel makes an indignant look that is painfully unserious. “I'm just a mere asvisor to them, helping out with a word here and there. Are you afraid of getting screwed, perhaps?’

“To whom, you? Don't be ridiculous,” Starscream rolls his optics, then steps closer to the Sentinel. “They hardly notice you.”

“You want to bet, Screamer?”

“Bet.”

You don't know how long it's been since you left them alone, but by the time you arrive, Starscream and Sentinel are there, waiting for you. Not a hint of hostility between them, which is surprising. Whatever had happened there during your absence, they had found another target.

After that day, you completely forgot about such a concept as “peacefulness”. Every day, personal space was violated by one of them. If Starscream insisted on accompanying your every move, Sentinel would surely find another reason to distract and then steal you away from poor jet.

It went on like this time after time until you decided to end this madness once and for all.

When Sentinel unexpectedly received your message, he was hardly strong enough not to give the slightest sign of how extremely pleased he was. You, waiting for HIM, in your chambers? Oh, how much that could mean....

How surprised he was to see none other than Starscream at the door- Oh, lovely. Just when he's fantasising about nice things, you find a chance to ruin his dreams.

Had you left them alone for a split second, another fight would surely have broken out, but luckily neither of them have time to utter a word before you suddenly open the door.

“Come in.”

Starscream and Sentinel throw each other a quick fleeting glance, but not another word and they enter your room. It's large, rich, in your style. They've rarely had the chance to be here, even for a moment.

You stand beside your desk, seated in the centre of the room. You can recall many nights spent at it, searching for solutions to Cybertron's problems. Your gaze is neutral, though inside you are far from calm.

“May I ask the reason why you decided to call me and...’’ Sentinel pauses briefly before looking at his colleague again. Starscream gives him the same look, as if daring him to make yet another annoying comment.

“Your behaviour,” you begin first again, closing your optics for a moment, trying to remain calm.

“It's all Sentinel's fault,” Starscream blurts out sharply, pointing at the blue-and-gold fur.

“Of course— stop. What?!” Sentinel exclaims, now it's his turn to be outraged.

“Incompetent, arrogant toady, he should have been removed from his position a long time ago, ” Starscream continues to recount, which can't help but cause Sentinel's optic to twitch.

“I'm talking about the both of you.”

Well, that certainly got their attention. And thankfully, so did shutting up.

No matter how tempting the idea of removing the two of them from their positions and sending them away, you can't raise your hand and dismiss them. How lucky you are that one of your brothers, while drinking high grade energon, blabbed to you about everything and gave you some wonderful idea.

“Whoever completes as many of my errands as possible during the week will receive a special reward from me.”

You pause again for a moment, watching their reactions. Both of your best subordinates look startled, but, extremely interested. For that reason, you continue.

“I expect excellent results. Don't disappoint.”

[kkayyerr]

Not me checking everyday to see if you posted, im obsessed with your stories!

can i request Reader throwing a tantrum, and lke, i think in the regular being Rafe's girl it's a pretty toxic dynamic, and he is often rough with her, yanks her and stuff, just being not too soft and gentle with his touches when he's in a bad mood, a slight bad mood even.

And you know, childs usually pick up habits from adults, so when she regresses and she throws the tantrum she is like agressive with rafe like trying to push him or hit him and let's say its the first and only time that happens!:3 thats my scenario you can mold it however you want

Tough Love.

Summary: Rafe had always been tough with little!reader, but he got very surprised when he found out that his little girl is just as feisty as he is.

Warnings: Age regression, Dark!Rafe, non-sexual spanking, slight angst, unhealthy relationship. All SFW!!!

Author’s note: Thank you so much for your sweet words, I hope you’ll like this one!🫶🏻🥹

Rafe was very unpredictable the last couple of weeks. One day he could’ve spoil you, and the next day the only emotion that he would show towards you was anger. His touches became rough, somehow violent, even though he didn’t actually hit you or abuse you in any way. It was just who he was. He had never been very gentle. You knew him for a long time now, and you knew what you were getting yourself into by starting the relationship with him. What you didn’t know is that you would feel so small and overpowered by him all the time. Most of the time you felt weak. You knew that being with him was stressful for you because of his establishment. Rafe also seemed very tensed and anxious almost every day.

You started regressing more often, trying to hide from those thoughts and feelings, but they had only grown bigger. 

It was a peaceful evening for you and Rafe, until you felt the urge to throw a tantrum out of nowhere. Of course it wasn’t out of nowhere; you were just tired of everything and severely overwhelmed. You needed to let those feelings out by crying and screaming, but Rafe didn’t know that. Your tantrum was just another irritating thing for him that he needed to stop before it would make him freak out. 

 

„Baby, calm down.”

 

He said, approaching you, when you suddenly did what he wasn’t expecting you to do. 

You hit him. 

You slapped his face with the full force. 

He just wanted to lean closer to you, so you would feel more grounded and comfortable, but you might’ve feel comfortable enough if you decided that you had a right to lay your little hand on him. He was surprised by your audacity. After everything he had put up with, he got a fucking handprint on his face?

Rafe’s eyes immediately darkened, and the loving look disappeared completely. He was pissed. However, he didn’t hit you back. He didn’t shove or push you. He just went straight to the couch and set down, patting his lap and looking at you. 

 

„Over my knee.”

 

Your skin immediately covered in shivers. He had never used psychical punishments before, especially not spanking. The room was silent; you could only hear how fast your own heart beats. You were terrified of Rafe right now. Somehow that empty look on his face was much scarier than the anger that you got used to. You didn’t want him to hurt you, but he would either way, so you just made your way to the couch, carefully laying down on his lap.

You were scared, and the fact that you were regressed right now was only making the whole situation worse. Much worse.

Rafe’s hands landed on your back, and he caressed you a little bit in the soothing manner before giving you the first slap with his other hand.

 

„I hope you understand that Daddy don’t like punishing you, little one.”

 

The second slap was louder than the first one and felt just as painful. But this time pain mixed with the feeling of guilt. It was your fault; you shouldn’t have slapped him and shouldn’t have given him a reason to punish you. You wanted to be his good little girl after all. 

 

„Why did you hit Daddy, hm?”

 

You felt tears falling from your eyes when he hit you once again. You covered your mouth with your little hand to muffle sniffling and crying sounds. Rafe had hold his laughter back, so he won’t be called a „meanie” later. It was cute how hard you were trying to keep on the strong girl act, even though he knew that it was all just a facade. You were way too vulnerable to be called strong. 

 

„C’mon, answer me.”

 

Rafe said, giving you a last slap. He then immediately helped you sit, pulling you closer while you were on his lap, even though he knew that sitting might’ve been a little difficult for you right now. He gently took your hand away from your mouth, and you let out a couple of loud sobs, before finally answering.

 

„Wanted to feel stwong and big like you!”

 

Those words sounded funny because of your high-pitched childish voice, that was also still trembling from the crying. You didn’t sound like someone who is strong and big, especially not after you just got spanked. Rafe smiled softly; he almost felt sorry for you. How could someone be so stupid and so cute at the same time? 

 

„But strong girls don’t need daddies. Do you want me to leave?”

 

Of course you didn’t want him too. You knew that you simply wouldn’t survive without him. You needed your Daddy, no matter how difficult it was to stick around him lately. You remember him also being there when it was hard to stick around you. 

You shook your head, quickly hugging his neck, so that way he wouldn’t leave you or disappear. His calm breathing relaxed you. He was there, close to you, and he wasn’t mad. 

It was strange to admit, but it was the first time in the last couple of weeks when both of you were calm and happy.

Taglist: @tinylilacbun @rafecameronsloverrrrr @aew-regression-cove

[satorushellokittypjs]

💙Boyfriend!Toji x Fem!Reader💙

•

Scenario: You Wore His Hoodie

‼️MNDI 18+ Warning: kinda NSFW‼️

•

•

Toji huffed, he was staring at you with a blank face. Yet the vein on his forehead was increasing in size.

“So..explain to me why my favorite hoodie has mustard on it?” Leaning into the couch, his arms on both sides of the back, he looked towards you. Too calm, Too peaceful, you knew that this was his expensive hoodie.

And now you’re gonna have to confess you’ve been wearing his hoodies in secret for a good while now.

You fiddled with your thumbs, hands clasped together and sweaty. This shouldn’t have been a problem right? It wouldn’t have been if you’d been more careful.

“Well..i had a corndog today..”

His eyebrows furrowed, oops maybe you should have started out with a different sentence.

“Babe..” he sighed and leaned his head on the back of the couch looking up at the ceiling. “How does eating a corndog..get mustard on my hoodie that’s SUPPOSE to be in my closet?” He lifted his head, “hmm? Lil’ mama i need some answers. You know how much that one in a life time hoodie costed.”

You gulped, yes, you knew it was his favorite custom made hoodie. The one that had his name engraved nicely into it. Very nicely, too nicely. And it has the kind of fabric that’s hard to come by.

He’s worn it all along. He’s never once gotten a stain on it, never once has he ever took it off unless he’s off to work.

And yet, here you were, deciding to wear IT of all times to that fair you went to with your friends yesterday. So, you know you’ll probably have to pay it all back.

You began to tear up, because your pretty brain went to the worst thoughts and so you began to cry out.

“I’m sorry!! I was wearing it yesterday to the fair because i wanted you to be there but you were at work. So as i was eating i accidentally dropped the mustard on your hoodie!! Please don’t break up with me!!” Tears were pouring as your cheeks were tinted and flushed as well as your nose.

Toji’s eyes widened, he sat there for a moment. Were you serious? He chuckled softly, “hon, calm down, calm down..” he leaned over and put his arms on his thighs, tilting his head. “So, you wore it that one time? Just so you would feel like i’m there?” He blinked softly. “Mm..i may let this slide..”

Your eyes widened and the tears ceased so easily. “Really?! Thank goodness, i won’t wear any of your hoodies or shirts or anything never again!”

Toji smirked, “so you do wear my things often? How cute..i should have known i’d have a little thief..” he leaned his hand over, holding your face securely.

“You still gotta repay me though, darling..what are you gonna do for me hmm?”

Your eyes widened as you stare into his serious ones. You didn’t know what to say at first. “I..i mean..what would you like me to do?” You whispered soft.

You suddenly see that look, the one he always gives you before he pounds you senseless into a mattress. The look that could make you come undone instantly. The look of pure insanity for you and you alone.

“Let’s just say for the whole night, you do as i say? Yeah? Does that sound reasonable enough?” He cooed, damn this man had a plan up his sleeve.

You begin to blush, not being able to hold back any naughty thoughts and thats what he wants you to think. Slowly, you nod your head.

“Good girl, now come with me, night starts early in winter”

•

•

[submattenthusiast]

for you dealer!chris

it had been a week since your last encounter with chris; yes the one where he left you for a crucial deal— nothing out of the ordinary. the shortest amount of time you had been away from him, usually it would take longer for him to come wreck havoc in your somewhat peaceful life. this time was different.

the cold air filled the once warm space as you opened the door for him. there he stood with a wad of cash in one hand and a bag of weed peaking out his windbreaker. a blunt shoved under his black beanie near his ear. the cherry on top being the large bag filled with your favourite foods. your jaw was hard to keep shut, stunned by his presence and the gifts he brought. "y'gonna let me in or keep starin', it's brick out here"

you watched as he laid everything out on the coffee table, it was too much to process."what is all this for chris" you ask cautiously, not wanting a fight with him. placing down money he sighs, hoping you wouldn't ask for some odd reason. "was shitty to leave you for some business, m' givin' you everything the guy gave me and the money from every deal i've had this week plus extra's" he said with a wink, pointing up to his ear. "i'm real sorry mama, this ain't even close to what you deserve but i'm tryin' "

your tense posture softened at his makeshift apology. it was unexpected for chris, he never apologized like this and this grand gesture of giving you his hard earned money was so — different. you couldn't even think of anything to say. "thank you" just wasn't enough for this. you motioned him over to the couch out of instinct, not wanting to be far away from him in a moment like this. he settled between your spread legs, back resting on the bottom of the couch.

"chris you didn't have to do all this... i mean, i did want you to own up to your shit and apologize but giving me your money and weed that you could be dealing wasn't necessary" you sigh, rubbing his shoulders. nonchalantly shrugging you off, he took his beanie off and rested against your thigh. "those are just words, i'm forreal tryna show you i'm serious—i'm off dealing now and the money is just money i have enough of it ...i'm tired of the back and forth w'you. it was dumb of me to prioritize dealing over you. i want to make this work, i want you".

[jayzioxx]

If closure existed after pain

Wanderer x male!reader

[Name] who was not originally from this world. The only one whom the fate of Teyvat didn't affect. Yet, he wished it did. Memories erased from irminsul remained for him, and forgotten pasts failed to cease to exist to him.

The balladeer? Who was that? He shouldn't know. Nobody knows. So why does he know? Why?

"Why me?" He asked himself.

"Why am I the only one?"

"Why did he have to do that to himself?"

Why did he give up on himself? Why did he not remember his one true believer, the one who would do everything to hand him the world on a silver platter?

[Name] begged him to stay. He groveled on his knees, yet no one understood. Why did Buer send him on that mission? Did she really not know? Why, why, why!?

"Whats up with that guy?" Whispered a man on the street to his lady love.

"Is he dying?" An innocent child asked her mother.

"He seems like he might croak right in the middle of the road." Said a merchant to his fellow.

"I can hear all of you. You fools."

Words he only spoke in his head.

"You're treading on the world which should belong to him."

Unjustly his.

"Why did he have to be sacrificed for vermin like you?"

It's unfair how fair his pain was.

The black cloak covering [name] head to toe saved the passersby from his hateful gaze. He couldn't ruin the peace his lord- his love, brought with his sacrifice. He dragged his broken, battered mortal frame away from the city, stepping closer and closer to the high ledges of Sumeru's terrain.

"He's gone. Face it. You failed." He muttered to himself. Truly, he's become a madman. The 6th harbinger's trusted aide, his right hand man, the one to dish out anything that was too unclean for him, despite him never commanding the man to.

"I suppose I should pay for my sins, just like he gave himself up for the world." He uttered what were supposed to be his final words and took a step towards the ever so beautiful death he desired.

Before he could finally meet the sweet death he desired, he felt himself being pulled back by the neck of his clothes.

"Whoever 'he' was, surely he didn't exclude you from his world."

[Name]'s eyes widened, filled with unshed tears. That familiar, beautiful voice. Was he hallucinating in his final moments? Or was he already dead? Did he die while falling?

"You think he 'gave himself up' just so you could die?"

"Stop."

"You think he didn't love you enough to die for you?"

"STOP!" The cloaked man cried. "Stop it! Why can't I just feel some closure! Why do you appear even in my death?! Why am I so happy to suffer for you, you bastard!"

He wept till his eyes turned dry and red, till his lungs nearly collapsed, till he couldn't find a morsel of strength in him.

"Are you real? Or have I gone mad? Are you really him? Are you lord Scaramouche?" He asked, his face buried in his knees. The other man sat beside him, placing a gentle hand on his head, stroking the hair sticking to his forehead back.

"I'm not him. I don't plan to become him either."

For the first time in years, [name] finally felt himself crack a true smile as tears continued to fall from his eyes once more. "Good. I don't think I could try to give you the world, just to fail and watch you suffer again." He said between sobs. Wanderer only continued to stroke his hair comfortingly

"It's not your fault. You don't need to do anything again either. Just wait and watch me give you everything I can possibly gather with these false hands."

"It's the least I could do after everything I put you through."

This may be closure for myself cuz of how heartbroken i felt that he had to give himself up after everything

[parmahamlarrie]

HI lovelies. I don't think there is much to say these past two months. They've been long, hard, and so sad - both in fandom and in my own life. I've been finding some comfort in fic, and if you are finding that comfort there too, then I hope you enjoy these. My inbox is open if you are looking for anything specific. Be kind to yourself, and each other. 🤍

🍂 Down the Line || @sunflouwerhabit || 279.9k 🍂 Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Famous/Famous, Baseball AU, American AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Healing, Hurt/Comfort "Louis still hates Harry. Totally. But he may tolerate him a bit today."

🍂 would it be enough if i could never give you peace? || hemakeshimstrongx || 129.9k 🍂 Famous/Famous, Singer Harry, Footballer Louis, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff, Taylor x Travis AU "Louis is sure he's flirting, and it's cute. It's definitely working, regardless of if it's intentional, that's for sure."

🍂 Sharp as Sugar, Sweet as Spice || @holdingontochaos || 60.2k 🍂 Age Difference, Strangers to Lovers, Single Parent Harry, Sneaking Around, Angst, Jealous Harry "'Rock climbing was a terrible lie. You never voluntarily exercise.' Well, she's got him there."

🍂 Cuddlebug || sun_flowr || 19.4k 🍂 Omegaverse, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Established Relationship, Kidfic, Adoption, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff "Harry laughs lightly. 'We are watching cartoons when the pup isn’t even awake. We’ve definitely fallen head first into this parenting thing.' 'We sure have,' he smiles, 'and I wouldn’t have it any other way.'" 

🍂 A Morning in the Frathouse || @marchessa || 2.4k 🍂 Omegaverse, Established Relationship, Fratboy Harry "'Louis?' 'Hello!' 'Oh, it's just H's wifey,' someone shouted at the top of the stairs."

🍂 Do You See What I See || @allwaswell16 || 2k 🍂 Vet Louis, Plot Twists, Humor "Dr. Tomlinson coughed. 'Um, Harry?'  'Yes?' Niall burst into laughter. 'Do you see what I see?' Harry got the feeling he was missing something." 

And for a bit of fun inspired by @starrysaturdays, here are my stats this month:

Words read: 421,026 - 242% up from August

Number of fics read: 4 (53 fics less than August) (Down the Line and the sequel are long oops)

Number of authors: 3

You can find past months rec list HERE and you can find a Directory of all the fics I rec HERE!

[yeahspider]

SWEET LIFE

A/n- this is so self indulgent. like seriously. maknae line x f. reader fluff yes plz! might get a hyung line version bc I like the concept (maybe if yall want it) but this is just a vibe so vibe with me. nsfw (weed mention) . enjoy and feel free to visit my inbox as I am taking requests. <3

Your apartment was a little crowded today. Considering it was everybody's off day. The boys decided to spend most of it at your place. Your apartment for them was a safe haven away from prying eyes and demanding schedules.

You didn't mind having them all over as you hated when you were alone. The noise they brought provided you a piece of comfort. After grueling rehearsals all week and your never-ending day job, this was a much-needed moment of peace.

“Someone take the scissors out of Jisung’s hand thank you very much!” you say as you prepare yourself for the task of taking down your braids. Your next appointment is in the upcoming week and you wanted to give your hair some time to breathe. With the length they're at, it was going to take a while. But of course, your boys are ever excited to help you out. Well most of them.

I feel like you’re scamming me babe.” says Seungmin as he grabs the scissors from Jisung. No one wanted to risk your wraith if he cut too high.

"I don't know what are you talking about Minnie I'd never scam you beloved," you say in your defense.

"yeah because five dollars is a completely reasonable nonscamming price," he says with a smile. Taking your braids gently out of the bonnet you had them in. Seungmin didn't want to pull on them if he could help it.

Jisung, now scissorless, took a seat beside you on the floor. Setting the blunt wraps on the coffee table in front of you. Preparing to roll for you and himself.

"I wish you would let me help more," he said with a pout on his face. You wanted to kiss it off him.

"you are helping sungie your presence is enough. It keeps me calm. Plus no one else rolls a blunt for me as good as you do." you comfort me as you kiss his now smiling lips. That seemed to satisfy him enough as he started the rolling process.

Felix came bounding into the living room from his napping spot in your room, flopping himself on the couch and picking up the remote to the TV. Channel surfing for something interesting to watch.

"Ugh, nothing is interesting to watch on TV. Felix complained while sliding down the couch to the floor as if he was melting in boredom.

"You could always just hook up the game and play Mario Kart or something. Go see if one of the boys wanna play with you," you suggested. Smiling at his antics as he crawled across the floor to give you a kiss. "You always have the best ideas, babe." He said as he practically skipped out of the room. Making your face flush at his praise. Just waving it off as Jisung teased you for your reaction.

A soft moan left your mouth as Seungmin got to the root of a braid. His hands gently unbraiding and giving your scalp a little rub to loosen up the tension. His hands felt so heavenly on your head after the rough week you had.

Felix took his time dragging a sleepy Jeongin into the room. It seems as if he found his gaming partner, although unwillingly. Going straight to the TV to set everything up, meanwhile, Jeongin sleepily made his way to you. Placing his head in your lap as he pulled himself closer to your stomach. You just laughed softly at his cat-like antics. Reminding you of a certain someone.

"Tell Felix to let me sleep." Jeongin groaned. His warm breath hits the exposed skin on your stomach. Hands hin his hair as you stroking softly.

"Now you know once Lix has his mind set on something there is no telling him anything." you comfort the boy.

"But I'm so tired and you're so warm and comfortable Don't make me go over there to that heathen."

Felix can get kind of crazy while gaming but before you could even suggest a solution the sunshine boy dragged the sleepy one out of your embrace. A groan erupts from the latter. There was no saving him now.

An object in front of your vision distracted you from the two gaming boys. It was the blunt Jisung rolled especially for you. To take the edge off a rough week. Encouraging you to take a hit he placed it right between your lips. Murmurung a "There you go. good girl." as you inhaled. Normally you would correct him for goodgirling you but today you didn't care. So you let him get away with it. Plus he could roll one hell of a blunt. And it was kind of hard to be cross with his hand on your thigh and Seungmin'd in your hair. In fact, you were quite content.

"Chan texted he and the hyungs should be home in a bit," Felix said from in front of the TV.

"Good, that's just enough time for Jisung to roll another one," you suggested. Tugging on the hem of his shirt. Maybe you were too high, because you really wanted him to take it off. Yeah, you were so high.

"Hey, I'm not rolling for those losers! I roll for you, and for you only! They have their own hands." Jisung protested as he offered it to Seungmin to which the younger declined, stating that he had to stay focused on your hair. Something about his statement made your heart swell. It's a nice feeling to be cared for.

Jisung then offered to blunt the other two in the room. They on the other hand accepted his offer. It was often he shared his blunts with anyone other than his girl. He said it was the gentlemen in him.

Time passed as you all waited for the older ones to get home. The more that passed the higher you got, and soon enough everyone in the room was higher than you originally intended to be. You could tell in the way everyone was lying to each other. Felix and Jeongin are a pile of limbs, their game long abandoned. Music is playing from the speakers as they whisper secrets to each other, giggling like school children while watching random videos on their phones. You were still seated between Seungmin's legs. His hands still dutifully unbraiding. Ever dedicated to his craft. But you could tell he was contact high as well. You could tell in the way he would kiss your head ever so often. A gentle reminder of his affection for you.

Jisung was sitting in your lap, playing with random parts of your body. Your face arms legs had all been prodded by him, not that it bothered you in the slightest. His touch left sparks all over you. You were having conversations about whatever came to mind. And finding comfort in one another. The atmosphere is warm and cozy. You wish every day could be like this.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough pt 2 final

Neteyam sully x Reader mate

Pairing: Neteyam te sully x wife Reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood and injury

**************************************************

It was like a dream, weird swirling colors, buzzing noises, nothing really making sense but somehow you knew what was going on. You were passing on…going back to the great mother. Your finger had long left your neck. The silence afterwards sealing your fate. He didn’t hear you.. he wouldn’t come…

The swirling colors increased until your vision was completely obscured. Who knew dying would look so.. so beautiful…

You didn’t feel any pain anymore, just a calm numb feeling… it wouldn’t be long now… your eyes fluttered closed, the colors morphing into swirling darkness.

You accepted your fate, welcomed it even just a bit. Your only desire was to let go.

Something was making noise making you flinch a bit as the peace was disturbed.

The noise didn’t stop, something.. no someone was yelling something… a pressure on your face and body, something pressing into your delicate skin.

You tried to push it away, wanting to be at peace again but felt something holding your hands down,

Stop- mv—- please—- help someon-!

A voice in the distance muffled but somehow familiar..

Suddenly the numbness was gone and firey hot pain tugged you back to reality. Your eyes shot open but you couldn’t see anything, only blurs of color.

You cried out loudly trying to move away whatever was pressing on your wound making it hurt more.

“I know I know I’m sorry! Just hold on, I need to keep pressure, I’m sorry!” You couldn’t believe your ears.

“N-neteyam?” You sobbed out.

“Shh don’t talk, just stay still-why didn’t you say anything before!?”

That made you hurt worse than the wound,

“I-I’m s-sorry, please d-don’t be mad” you choked out more sobs.

“I’m- I’m not mad please don’t talk, just hold still please”.

You silently cried as he tried his best to apply pressure.

You squeezed shut your eyes trying to shut out the pain.

“I need to get you to grandmother”

You felt Neteyam move your hands and he instructed you to hold down, then quickly he gathered you up into his arms.

How ironic you thought, for months all you wanted was for him to embrace you like this.

You kept your eyes closed but from the air zipping past you you could tell Neteyam was running as fast as he could.

You could feel yourself weakening again, having no strength left your head rested on his chest.

His heartbeat is so fast…

“Don’t fall asleep, stay awake please, we’re almost there!”

You hummed trying your best to keep your eyes open.

“Grandmother help! Kiri! She’s been shot-please!”

Moat had never heard Neteyam so frantic since he was a child. She quickly urged him over to a bed on the ground and wasted no time inspecting the wound.

“Neteyam hold her up I need to see her back”.

Neteyam muttered an apology when you groaned in protest.

“No exit.. the bullets still inside, we need to get it out quickly, she’s lost too much blood. Neteyam you need to hold her still, this will hurt..”

Neteyam as instructed moved behind you holding you tightly down.

“Be strong child…” you braced yourself but nothing could have prepared you for the pain.

You immediately screamed and thrashed but Neteyam held you down,

“Shh mawey mawey, it’ll be over soon, mawey mate” Neteyam spoke into your ear, heart feeling like it was being ripped apart by each and every scream.

“Hold her down!”

Neteyam nodded and held you even tighter, “shh it’s alright, everything will be alright, I’m sorry”

“There it is done..”

Neteyam let out a breathe of relief, “it’s over, breathe mate breathe..”

“Will she be ok?” You felt the arms around you loosen and guiding you back to lay down. Although the hand on your shoulder stayed..

Moat nodded, “the bullet is out but she has lost a lot of blood. She will be weak for awhile but I believe she will be fine. I will watch her closely, don’t worry child..”

“Here give her this to drink” Moat handed her grandson a wooden cup filled with a mushy green liquid.

You were almost asleep when you felt your head being lifted up, “Drink y/n, it’ll help with the pain..”

This time when your eyes opened they were able to focus on the furrowed brows of your mate. His glowing eyes focused on the cup at your lips. You choked a bit and he held you up a bit higher. A warm finger swiped at the liquid that dribbled down your lips.

Maybe you were dead…

Neteyam realized you were looking at him although words seemed to fail the both of you at the moment. With a clearing of his throat he settled you back down. You felt something cold and soothing being applied to your wound and soon you were lulled into sleep.

***************************************************

Neteyam watched as your breathing changed. He let out a sigh and leaned back. Hands running over his head.

“Neteyam!” The tent flap opened revealing his parents.

“What happened?!” Jake crouched next to his son eyes scanning over you before landing back on neteyam.

“She was shot…” Neteyams voice was tired and full of emotion.

Neytiri gasped and kneeled down on the other side and held your hand. “Will she be ok?”

“She should recover. We had to remove the bullet but it didn’t hit anything vital” Moat spoke up.

“Thank the mother…”

After some silence Jake eyed his son who looked like he’d shot her himself by his demeanor.

“You ok?” Jake placed a hand on his shoulder.

Neteyam glanced up, “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“She’ll be ok, she’s tough ya know.”

Neteyam stayed quiet, the one thought haunting him. Why did she hide it?

His mother ever so observant asked him, “what is it Neteyam?”

His eyes flitted up to her, then his father then back to you, guilt flooding his features.

“She didn’t tell me..”

“Didn’t tell you what?” Jake furrowed his brow.

“That she was hurt…”

Jake and Neytiris eyes widened, silently his mother got up and came to his other side pulling him in.

***************************************************

When you awoke the next morning you were in a lot of pain but not nearly anything compared to before.

Your mouth was incredibly dry so you tried to sit up to find some water.

You winced at the burning sensation.

“Stop you shouldn’t move yet!” Your eyes widened and whipped to the side finding Neteyam kneeling beside you quickly supporting your back and guiding you back down.

You tried to speak then quickly remembered the reason you wanted to get up in the first place.

“Here” he poured you some water into a cup and to your surprise instead of handing it to you he held it up to your lips in one hand and lifted your head with the other.

After you were done he set it back down. “How do you feel?”

“I’m alright..”

Silence

How you wished you could disappear this very moment…

“I um…I-I…” you hated how the tears were starting to come back so fast but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to apologize for so many things.

Neteyam looked a bit puzzled.

“A-are you in pain? I’ll call grandmother” he rose up quickly but you stopped him.

“No I-I’m fine…”

“Then what’s wrong…?” He kneeled back down a bit confused.

“I-I wanted to say I’m so sorry for everything… I know what I did was… I’m so so s-sorry”

Neteyam blinked, clearly taken aback by your words. His eyes softened, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of something — maybe forgiveness, maybe confusion — but you couldn’t be sure. The sincerity in your voice, the rawness of your apology, seemed to cut through the room like a sharp breath.

“What are you talking about?” he asked gently, his tone almost lost in the stillness of the room. He reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder, his touch warm and reassuring, even though the weight of your apology hung in the air between you.

“I… I should’ve told you… what I was feeling. What I was going through,” you whispered, your voice trembling. You felt exposed, vulnerable, like the walls you’d carefully built up around yourself were crumbling to dust. “I should’ve said something, Neteyam. But I kept it inside. I kept hiding it, pretending like it wasn’t happening… like it didn’t matter. And then, when everything went wrong, I… I thought it would be easier if I just…”

His fingers tightened slightly on your shoulder, urging you to stop, his gaze intense. “No. Don’t say that.” His voice was firm, but soft — the tone of someone who had lived enough to know that guilt could eat you alive if you let it. “Y/N, listen to me. You don’t have to apologize for any of it. Not to me. Not to anyone.”

“But I hurt you, Neteyam. I—" Your breath hitched again, the knot in your chest tightening.

He shook his head, a soft sigh escaping him. “You didn’t hurt me,” he said, his voice low, almost like he was reassuring himself as much as you. “I didn’t know what you were going through either. You weren’t the only one keeping things in. But I… I should’ve noticed sooner. I should’ve been there for you, in the way you needed me to be.”

The weight of his words — the unspoken responsibility he was placing on himself — made you want to shrink. But at the same time, it gave you a strange comfort, like a weight lifting from your chest, even if just a little.

He looked at you, his eyes full of concern. “Don’t carry this burden alone. Not anymore. You don’t have to.”

You couldn’t answer right away, the rush of emotions swirling within you. But before you could speak, he leaned in a little closer, his hand still gently cradling your shoulder.

“I’m not angry with you, Y/N,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, but somehow so steady. “I’m just… I’m scared.” His words sent a pang through your heart. “You scared me. I almost lost you.”

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time, they weren’t just for the things you hadn’t said. They were for everything — the fear, the love, the closeness you hadn’t realized you’d been missing.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered again, your voice breaking.

He shook his head once more. “No, no more apologies. You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

You blinked at him, confused, a small sob escaping you. “But… Neteyam, I’m not strong like you. I’m not like everyone else. I can’t handle everything, and I don’t know how to continue on like this.. I just… I just want to be okay… for us to be ok..”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he reached forward, his thumb gently brushing the tears from your cheek, a small smile forming on his lips. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, Y/N. You don’t have to handle everything alone.” His voice softened, growing tender. “I’m here. From now on I’ll be here”.

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and a strange calmness began to settle over you, as if his words, his touch, were healing something deep inside you.

“I should’ve told you sooner,” you murmured, the weight of the unspoken finally coming to the surface. You could feel his breath close to yours as he leaned in, his forehead resting against yours. The warmth between you was all-consuming.

“You’re not alone anymore,” he repeated, almost like a vow.

You closed your eyes, letting the feeling of his presence, his promise, wash over you. And for the first time in a long while, the gnawing fear, the doubt — the suffocating loneliness — began to fade, replaced by something far gentler: a sense of belonging.

Later that evening, after the storm of emotions had subsided, Neteyam stayed by your side, even as his parents left to give you both some time to recover. The fire in the center of the hut flickered softly, casting a warm glow over the room. The gentle hum of the jungle outside felt distant, almost like a memory.

You could hear Neteyam’s breath, steady and rhythmic as he sat by your side, watching over you. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt this safe, this cared for.

“I didn’t know what to do when I found you,” he murmured quietly after some time, his hand still resting gently against yours. “You were slipping away… I thought… I thought I might lose you.”

You could feel the weight of his words settle into the space between you, and you wanted so badly to reach out, to reassure him. But it was hard to find the words. What could you say?

You squeezed his hand, and when you looked up at him, you saw the raw vulnerability in his eyes. The emotion in his gaze was so pure, so sincere, that it made your heart ache.

“I’m here, Neteyam. I’m not going anywhere.” Your voice was soft, but strong, the conviction in it clearer than ever before.

He stared at you for a long moment, as if measuring the sincerity in your words. And then, as if you had finally said the one thing he needed to hear, his lips curled into the smallest of smiles.

“Good,” he whispered. “Because I.. I want things to change.. I want us to be better. I’m sorry I’ve let things go on the way they have been for so long.. and I know things won’t change overnight but I promise to do better.. to be better because I do care for you…”

You smiled truly for the first in months and did something you’ve wanted to do for so long. You leaned forward and kissed him softly. A silent promise that you’d do your best too.

So sorry for the long wait! Life’s been chaotic but I’m back! Hope you enjoyed:)

@iloverhestars @hey-girl-hey @misshale21 @misscaller06 @christinechikiee @crazytacokoala @freellamabeliever @hiddenworld666 @tatahungry @levi-09

[the-lying-heavens]

"Dating Dr. Robert Chase"

[Robert Chase x doctor!fem!reader]

Requested here!

Masterlist

Warnings: fluff

Word Count: 502 words

A/N: Sorry it took so long-I hope you like it!

Robert Chase wasn’t the type to hold back once he decided to commit.

When you two started dating, he absolutely showered you with everything you could need and want: gifts, food, dates, you name it.

It was like he had been waiting for years to smother you in his love(he did, but he would never tell you that).

Both of you worked long hours at the hospital, so it was pretty common to find little gifts on your desk or in your locker.

The first time you left a gift for him, well, you broke him a little. He was just so happy and excited.

It was a small thing, but he paraded it around the hospital, showing it to everyone, even though he knew the others would tease him mercilessly.

It was safe to say, you didn’t expect that reaction. Not that you minded it.

In fact, it made you get him even more gifts.

Eventually, it became a game of who could get the other the most presents.

Your shared apartment was full of little trinkets.

There was something about you that made him want to go the extra mile. You might have found candles lit when you came home or a surprise date planned just for the two of you.

The most romantic moments were the simplest.

He isn’t great at expressing emotions. He mostly did it through actions.

He’d sneak his hand into yours while walking down the hospital hallways or give you a quick kiss before heading off to do rounds.

If you two were having a conversation and someone interrupted, he might playfully put his arm around you, as though claiming you in the most subtle way possible.

It was just his way of showing that you were his.

If you were ever stressed, he always stepped in and took care of things so you didn’t have to.

Whether it was helping with a difficult patient or just making sure you had a quiet evening to unwind.

There were moments when he got a little vulnerable, usually late at night when you were curled up together.

He just loves watching movies or reading books side by side.

He doesn't need anything big or extravagant, just being in your company is enough to make him happy.

Sometimes, after a stressful day, he pulls you into a tight hug, like he was absorbing all the bad energy from your day just to give you a moment of peace.

His playful side came through when you were alone, and you’d often find him teasing you with little jokes or sarcastic comments.

It was never mean—more like a way for him to just make you laugh.

And when you were apart, He’d text you little things throughout the day, just to remind you that you were on his mind.

Usually, it was a simple "thinking of you" or just something strange he had encountered.

Even though you both worked long hours you found time for each other.

You always had his back, and he always had yours. And you would as long as you lived.

Oops, you might've wanted to save that for the marriage vows.

[elizabeaufort]

⸻ Elizabeth looked at her mother, assisting the twins as she could, now helping Beau for a bit, and he was chatting quietly with Lilou mixing English and French, per usual. ❛ Yes. When they're playing 'sports' at daycare, they don't know which color is their team for instance. As I told you, they're still learning to talk, and recognizing the letters of the alphabet. At home, eating some veggies is a struggle, because according to them they are the color of poo, so it can be disgusting to them. When I go to the beach with them, they can't tell if they get sunburnt. So, it is just small things, that may become a big problem. Sometimes, they have homework, and when it is to paint something, they're very reluctant or fit into a tantrum. Also, they can't visually if some food is good or bad, like if it is overcooked or raw. ❜ She explained it to her. In truth, the younger Aussie does not know if because she lives with the twins, and they're her kids she is accustomed to guiding them to teach some simple stuff that became normal for her or is it too much for an outsider like her mother. Either way, they have mouths so if anything is wrong, she is sure neither of them would bottle up sentiments. She is certain both would communicate their frustration if anything wrong.

❛ Ice rink? ❜ She inquired. It was a nice activity although, she isn't familiar with small kids. That isn't her problem. She never brought them for ice skating. ❛ I have no clue, mother. You can check it. As long as you don't bring them with a broken piece, we are all good. ❜ She jests. ❛ They never ice skating. ❜ It could be an activity explored by grandmother and grandchildren together, and it would give her a moment of peace. ❛ She reminds me of someone. ❜ She refers to the comment about her grandmother. 'Never satisfied?' Elizabeth always had a feeling she never satisfied Stella. No matter how good or bad she could do to prove it, she always feels never is enough for her.

She was in silence when Stella opened up about the other members. It seems that she broke the pattern of being a shitty parent. She had a lot of bad examples to do exactly the opposite to her own babies. ❛ I'm sorry to hear that and of course your loss. She didn't make any effort to hide her preference? ❜ She inquired curiously. ❛ Papa had siblings. The very same week of your arrival, he told me he had an identical twin brother. But he got sick and died very young in the hospital. He died on 18 years old. His name was Louis. ❜ Liz had no clue if her mother knew about it or not. Claude never talked much about his family to anyone ( even his wife ) , except his sister Colette who also came to America, two years after he moved with Stella. The only thing he said he had siblings. Some people who know him, used to say that Claude died a little when he lost his brother and was reborn when he met Stella.

──listening to her daughter’s explanation, Stella nodded lightly; she liked learning little titbits about the duo, even more if she was going to be allowed more time with them so she could come up with age appropriate activities and things they would also enjoy to do —judging by their prior conversation, they liked tales and have a vivid imagination, so she thought that information could also come in handy when planning something to do with them. “do you find it limits them to do certain things or not yet?” she inquired curiously, her gaze shifting from her own daughter to her grandchildren for a moment, watched them a while as they ate and conversed with one another. “could I take them to the ice rink, maybe?” she asked as she looked back at Elizabeth; of course, she would have to look up one they could go that would be for children or babies around their age ( and maybe she would ask Claude to go with her for the first time, besides Liz still allowed him to be around the twins and they adored him and she also would feel less overwhelmed ).

another small smile graced her lips, somewhat hidden behind the rim of her cup as she took a sip of her Irish coffee. the following question made her scrunch up her nose a little, shrugged lightly as she held her cup between her hands. “not really,” she responded, truthfully. “my mother was a peculiar woman, to put it lightly. cold, never satisfied,” she laughed a little —how fitting, she thought, her mother had been terrible at being a mother to her and she had done the exact same thing to her own daughter; all evidence suggested that Elizabeth would break this pattern of failed mother figures in their family line. “I think she liked my brothers more than me,” she added after Liz’s following question, which was also a way to answer her query. “just one uncle now,” she elaborated. “my older brother passed away not too long ago,” she told her, voice lower so the twins wouldn’t hear; she had been very close to her older brother, who was the one who also asked her to go back home, and there were times she wished it had been her who passed not him that day.

[pinofdnp]

family that i chose now that i see your brother as my brother <3

[chefkids]

Peace x Sydcarmy

Links 1 2 3 4 5 6

[a-hazbin-spider]

With the typical customer-issued confidentiality, Angel had no problem keeping things quiet. Not even when he was alive. That isn’t to suggest that he was quiet in general, just that all the information would be kept with him until further disclosed. He’s no snitch, he’s a pest but he keeps the important things tucked away. Unless he had mad shit to talk about his boss, that was different. His boss was- a boss! Anyone had a right to vague complaints or bitching and moaning about it.

Either way, Angel’s image was never cuddly to the public, he hadn’t taken to being soft. But he did really enjoy this. Whatever the other decided he’d call it, Angel would take to it in a heartbeat. It felt peaceful. He felt an odd sense of security and warmth. He liked it, wouldn’t want to ruin a good thing like he is sure he had with so many others.

“Thirty-nine. That’s a pretty good number. You won that one between us, that’s for sure. Tha’ roof was pretty incredible luck too. There ain’t nothin’ easy when you’re on yer lonesome. An’ you kept it up anyway. You was smart, I’m willin’ to bet.” Angel didn’t have any doubt in his words, in fact, sounded pretty convinced. Not that the other gave him anything but a refined man to see and listen to.

It did surprise him though, a question like that one. He had… maybe thought of it, once upon a time. But, far as he’s concerned a funeral or grave- a service? He didn’t think past the fact that he would have been preserved for a bit in that blizzard dying as he did. His mouth opened to respond, but it took a good moment before he could find any words to pull out.

“A… grave? Yeah right..!” Laughing over it provided a less than charming snort, but he moves on quickly enough. “I dunno who would do it. I’d been on my own for a while at that point. And I doubt nobody had been lookin’. Who knows, I might be in a hole somewhere. May be under a name that might or might not belong to me. Can’t even tell ya if my Pops claimed the body. What can ya do?”

A shrug might give a light rock to their position, but nothing else. Deciding to answer that was making him crave nicotine. Weird. All his fingers do on that impulse is twitch however, he doesn’t just fish one out and light up, how rude would that be?

His eyes glance over the stag quickly, was that too much? He shouldn’t yap about it. It wasn’t his business really, but Angel didn’t shut him down. He got this far, why not? Not like it’s important.

“Ho-how about you? You think you had a grave? For your bones to stay safe in. It looked like ya had a few people that liked ya.”

Others are often so disappointed when he brings ‘boring’ life into things. Including interests of his, or- even Cherri had been less eager to hang out when he’d taken sobriety with more sincerity. He’d worried about telling anything like that for good reason. His whole persona he’d built was to sell others a good time and keep himself simple. This..? Nobody wanted this. Well, not until recent it would seem. He’s messy, complicated in all the most irritating ways. And had too much knowledge on sea life to be typical. But he thinks that’s a plus. Either way, his imagery isn’t one people tend to put in such wholesome scenarios.

Alastor’s comfort, his trust in the moment hadn’t been taken for granted. With Angel not liking his dirty laundry aired (which Al very well could Air something if he’d like) and finding a sense of peace in this for himself, he wouldn’t dream of letting a moment like this be blabbed about. Not that anyone would believe him even if he did. Intimacy like this was rare, and held a warmth to it that leaked pleasantly in his bones. He’s careful, testing any touch he’s unsure of. Clearly he knows what an unsung honor this is. At the same time, he finds that he’s benefitting from this too. More relaxed, comforted by the scent, and by the allowance to cuddle, to have a little tenderness.

When Alastor responds in kind to tell him that he’d died when he had, and how their lives had overlapped however shortly- it was oddly interesting to him. That and, he forgets sometimes, him being young like that, he never got to really age. And his position wasn’t great- he couldn’t help that he wonders sometimes what an average life would be. How glamorous even a civil kind of life could be.

“You got to be over thirty..! And ya got through tha’ crash, made it as an entertainer… that’s impressive. I’d lissen t’ more about that, if you’d let me.”

He sort of feels childish asking. But, normalcy- just about any kind one could think of, he can’t say he had insight. But, already Alastor made him remember not even his death was typical. How bout that.

“Mmh? Well, I dunno about that, I ain’t sure that nobody was too sad about it. One situation led to another, and next thing you know-”

One hand makes a vague ‘poof’-ing gesture. He would share if asked but… it is odd. Hearing someone talk about him like that. For someone who tries to laugh things off… this? Made his chest feel a little tight. Strange.

“I did everything I could, but it weren’t no surprise I ended up the way I did. Kinda wonder how long my body was buried in the snow before anyone found it.”