#ugh man. its 2:30 am i should be sleeping i have a class to retake at 11:50
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it was a small passing comment in the story but when its mentioned Sheila saw her dog get beaten to death when she was a kid and it made her feel like humankind was just like that (+ her sister's murder afterwards cementing that worldview)... augh.
#fugo.txt#like. idk i feel like im repeating myself but i cant stress this shit enough man. she was just a little girl#she was like 10#damn.#and like by that point she had already very much gone thru a lot of death. her parents were gone and the only family she had was her sister#and the only friend she had was her dog.#and then they both died. and she saw them die. right after the other. and then she was completely alone#idk looking at it thru that lense its not surprising at all that she decided to do all that. she was grieving and she didn't have anyone-#-to guide her in that. and the only logical progression she could fathom is that whoever killed her sister should suffer the same.#and deep down she knows she's doing this for herself because she doesn't KNOW what else to do. and she feels guilty. what would clara even-#think of her? and even if she's all oh illuso is dead and he suffered. so she can rest easy. you can SEE she never got any closure at all.#thats why she froze up when fighting against kocaqi. his sister also died right in front of him. but he did what she couldnt do#he gave her peace of mind. he gave her a dignified death. she died happy. clara didnt. and sheila can NEVER give that to her#all she can do is posthumously give her peace by murdering her murderer. but would Clara want that?#ugh man. its 2:30 am i should be sleeping i have a class to retake at 11:50#but. man..#please take the time to think of her tjis december
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