#i cant tell what that hit was supposed to be | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sage-is-in-fact-very-tired · 2 years ago

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"Then it's time to do the blood-"

*blood just. appears under their eye*

"Oh."

*shrugs it off like that is entirely normal*

Sherbert.

I.

#i cant tell what that hit was supposed to be #but it sure was something #/pos #fable smp #fsmp #sherbertquake56 #a tag to help find my own posts

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koobiie · 8 months ago

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shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

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kiwibirb1 · 11 months ago

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Sorry for the absolutely shit quality (not even tumblr this time its just my art) but here's some amphibia fan art (aka the stuff I keep talking about with little talks)

Oh uh I guess I should add the song that the lyrics are from. Lyrics are at roughly 1:50

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tazzmanian-devil · 5 months ago

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im so scared of the future. i dont know what im going to do with myself. i am not mentally capable of working enough hours to support myself without killing myself. i truly believe that if i lived alone i would burn my house down. i cant work jobs that require a lot of standing or interacting with others. i dont have the autism that makes me good with computers to do something online. i have no idea what im good for. i dont even draw well or often enough to do commissions, and i feel too guilty about not being in a difficult financial situation to even offer them.

i dont know how to apply for disability or what it would even grant me besides tax benefits. one of the questions on the website is for employment status, and the two options are employed and unemployed/seeking employment. i do not think i am capable of working a regular job, and i have no idea what IRregular jobs there might be. i tried reaching out to my school's employment coordinator, and her ONLY advice was to sell my work. i am trying!

maybe it would be different if i felt more direct and specific pressure of a problem to solve and less general pressure to do what im supposed to without knowing what that is. im living with my grandfather and aunt right now, so im not feeling housing pressure. my parents are paying for my education, so im not feeling pressure to pay that back. why do i need that? what is it for? what is my goal? i dont know. i have money from student loans in my bank account paying for my groceries.

i feel like a horse whose ass has been spanked. something is driving me forward, but i dont know what or which direction to run. i have no idea whats coming, and its horrible. i dont know what i want or what i should be doing next, except for 'get a job' which is such a vague instruction that its leaving me spinning my wheels.

i should get a job so i can live alone...but i dont want to live alone. i dont think i CAN live alone, unsupported. what is any of this for??? i start taking steps forward, and im haulted each time by myself asking why? why am i doing this? whats the point? what do i want from this? nothing? i want nothing? im only doing this to satisfy external pressures? then whats the point? cant i just watch movies all day instead? whats the point?

#talking #i dont know!!!!!#i dont know what im doing!!!!!#i do have one want. i want to move to portland to live close to my friends. in a beautiful city. in a timezone that lets me be awake before #noon.#but what the shit am i supposed to do to work towards that? what would my family say if i told them that?#i WOULDNT have any help from them if i did that. i WOULD have to get a job. i would have to figure out how moving to another country even #WORKS>#let ALONE one as hostile as the us let ALONE trying to get DISABILITY.#but its like. the only thing i can think of.#being so far away i have no fucking idea what looking for an apartment or a job would look like.#everything sucks. except no it doesnt! my life is awesome!!!!#my life is so fucking easy!!!#it is CRAZY how priviledged i am and how easy my life is.#and yet every day i think about assisted living or a psych ward(i hit myself for that one. those arent places to fuck around with) because #im struck with the overwhelming feeling that I CANT DO THIS. I CANT DO THIS. WHATEVER EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING? I CANT. I CANT. I CANT DO IT.#I DONT KNOW HOW. SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO DO IT #.

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raspberryjellybrains · 1 year ago

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yknow I've been thinking about what dream looks for in friends and lovers and I've noticed that it's not necessarily people that are mean to him, but people that are direct. dream himself deals in metaphor and manipulation, it's simply what he is, so just about everything within his realm that he's encountering consistently will be such that as well. considering both his own tendencies, the environment it breeds, and his whole Thing about guilt and choice, it makes sense he would choose people who are clear and honest with him. he wants someone who will tell him how it is, but not what to do with that—even when it's not really what he wants, dream knows it's what he can need. I think that's why figures like lucienne, matthew, death, and yes, mervyn can be important! on some level, dream knows he's convoluted and shifty by nature, and he's tried to combat that with concise words and mind-melting beauracracy, but it can't fix everything. he likes people to keep him in check and I think that is the most self-awareness he has ever been capable of. so... clap? no? idk. nod acknowledgingly.

#it is also that he is autistic #i dont make the rules. its just true.#also didnt mention for sentence flow but this is 100% why i think he REALLY hates desire #theyre the only manipulator in the universe better at manipulating than him. and uses these abilities to fuck him over.#they know how to blend direct observation with subtly implied direction to get him to do what they want whilst thinking hes not #dream knows this and he HATES it. because thats like. his every fear confirmed. in someone who is supposed to care for him.#and desire simply sees this as an extension of their function and good fun besides without understanding how deeply this messes dream up #with the guilt and choice thing: dream wants someone clear to blame and he would prefer it not be himself #so he wants to be given the option to be left with no choice so he can escape all personal responsibility as disguising it for himself as a #personal attack. the problem is that this is an inherently selfish thing to do and his perception of reality is so warped by ass kissing and #paranoia (great combo) that he ALSO cant tell whats a personal attack.#see: nada rejecting him and dream damning her to hell for 10000 years.#that also hit some other stuff he lacks the emotional wisdom to grasp #but like. why else would mervyn exist. genuienly #mervyn knows hes made by an uncaring god for menial and unnecessary work. everyone else knows hes full of shit and kinda right.#if dream didnt like what purpose he served on some level he would just remake or unmake mervyn all together. but he doesnt.#mervyn is like a chainsmoking barometer of public opinion #like boyboss good for him but thats it #anyway #dream of the endless #the sandman #raspberry rambles

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fellhellion · 1 year ago

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The way Miles accidentally hits what seems to be - given the severity of Miguel’s reaction - such a huge fucking bruise with the “Are those claws? Dude, are you sure you’re spiderman?” and it’s this trigger for Miguel just fucking. Exploding with everything he’s kept under lock and key like. Resentment over the way he seems to feel deeply isolated in the emotional burden of what he does, blaming Miles for what he believes was the catalyst which led to him being in this position (RIPeter’s death), hitting back (verbally) to hurt with the anomaly comments when it’s like dude. If they keep your origin intact, you’re both the so similar, and because this kid is living proof of every doubt you’re trying to suppress.

#the breakdown genuinely fascinates me because like.#I see people pull this as a gotcha card against his argument when it’s like. I don’t personally think if it takes Miguel hitting absolute #emotional rock bottom before he flips over from ‘Miles is spiderman therefore to protect people he needs to adhere to canon’ to #‘miles ISNT spiderman in this framework he CANT be’ its like. something he’s consciously considering #or at the most it’s part of the doubt he’s trying to suppress #he hits emotional rock bottom and THEN flips hard #tries to cram his understanding of miles back into the canon framework but from the opposite side #from the side of someone who wasn’t ‘supposed’ to end up like this #IS THE PROJECTION PROJECTIONING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE MIGUEL #you lash out but what was said was literally fuelled by your own doubts #so you try force it all to still make sense within the same framework even if it doesn’t #it CANT #because you’ve fucking doublebind yourself into a path you’re ashamed of but believed necessary #and your lives experience is TELLING you there’s consequences to flouting this #so if there’s not in actuality #what does it mean. what does it mean about you. what does it mean about what you chose to do #you’ve doomed them all again regardless #my ass is extrapolating from my personal interpretation of him to be sure but. man. the mental illnesses this guy is carrying #tunes talks spiderverse

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jvzebel-x · 7 months ago

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🦋

#saw Another cat that had been hit by a car&am once again reminded of the fact that i am just Incapable of the level of nonchalance needed #to have an outdoor cat. i physically&mentally cannot do it.#forget every logical good standard reason ive always been for indoor only cats #now that i actually Have a cat the idea of my baby leaving this house to go wander the world is insane to me.#there are gardens w lilies&shit. every single year i see posts warning ppl to keep lilies out the house if they have cats bc theyll like.#die immediately from what i can tell of the info that gets spread.#&i am just supposed to be okay w my cat out in the world when FLOWERS can kill it?????????????#cant do it. obviously there are many Many good reasons to advocate for indoor only cats.#but even losing my cat in my house gives me heart attacks i literally cannot imagine a world #where i just allow him to come&go as he pleases that is just straight madness to me i couldnt do it.#SO grateful he hates going outside unless its straight to the car.

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the-acid-pear · 8 months ago

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Mental illness is insane I'm just having dinner w my father eating this a little too spicy pasta enjoying the Yeowch on my throat and the silence and suddenly I'm like yeah I'd kill myself.

#luly talks #i mean it came from out of nowhere grieving but it's so bizarre #like i just got hit by this very heavy rock in my skull this overwhelming and genuine urge for a second that yeah that'd be ok #that's the correct path to take and there's no physical changes i just kept on chewing on my all too spicy bc he used the wrong condiments #pasta. like sure i was a little zoned out maybe if you paid close attention you'd have seen my eye getting lazy or something but like. thats #it. and i always in zoning out #like this wasn't even an intrusive thought those come out of nowhere and just are echoing chambers of fear and shame #this was a calm resolution like yeah. that's the way to go alright.#y'know kind of unrelated but i always wish i had someone to talk about some mental health things i cant w my therapist #more on the speculative diagnosis thing. if you dont know what i mean shame on you for not keeping up with the Luly lore /silly #it's really hard being neurodivergent and im not talking about autism rn that i can manage but gestures vaguely its hard when it's #a group project. it's hard when everything is so fuzzy #because sometimes i tell myself i only think of this bc im all day alone and thinking but like #what. am i supposed to be getting non stop stimuli 24/7 least i realize i hsve something in my skull going on?#i blame my mother for that one she always made me ashamed of being sick or whatever acting like it was my fault #like me noticing symptoms was equivalent to me making them real #as if that wasn't just absurd like. the symptoms are here you twat. I'm not placebo effecting myself w shit #even the ppl who do like. the symptoms are real.#aaahhh siiiiigh yet another common L #brain stuff

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pentaghast · 2 years ago

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if im honest i like king alistair w a warden queen! theyre happy ur honor!!!

#ACTUALLY im taking over the wardens story now. looking for a cure to the calling? whatre u talking abt #theyre supposed to have 30 years or so!!!!! granted alistair has only been a warden for 6 months or so when he says that but #and maybe joining during a blight also speeds up the taint but actually it doesnt ive decided. theyre FINE #anyway. alistair is fine bc of the therein bloodline ig? like how fiona is cured somehow bc of it #and.... dare i say..........#They Have A Child Sir. everything's a okay #ugh but the thing w morrigan. can u imagine wanting a child but knowing its unlikely to happen while one of u has one w a woman they cant #stand and the other still feels incredibly hurt #bc of the fact the morrigan knows the whole time #and i get it!!! morrigan is young and her mother is Flemeth and this is what she's been told to do and she becomes friends w the warden #knowing this so like. i see how torn she must be #she calls her a SISTER while knowing this and i can see it must tear at her but how can you just tell them that #oh it hurts. oh its bitter #i mean the betrayal of howe and then loghain has to make morrigans seem much harsher than it really is #and i dont think of it as really a betrayal from an objective pov but in the situation its already a lot what w the landsmeet and the news #that a warden has to die #i mean its all got to hit hard. there's no way ANYONES comin out of this in a healthy headspace #alistair thinks of his son he will never meet and rhia thinks of a stepson she never wants to meet and UGH.#i think they shouldve handled the whole thing differently. like morrigan should speak to both wardens instead of one #when u speak to just the hof and they have to go to romanced alistair it seems. unfair #ANYWAY!!!! IM NORMAL ABOUT IT #wytxt

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gaystardykeco · 1 year ago

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not ready to go back to work tomorrow but luckily im so not ready that my brain isn't letting it fully process and so im just kind of numb except for little moments when the panic breaks through again

#feeling more and more like a robot and less and less like a person the emptier my life gets #the future is so empty like its just work and isolation forever #i have one thing left at the end of this week and then after that its just work and family and alone #and i think numbing out completely is really the only way ill be able to cope at all #i didnt used to really be able to do that but maybe now im to the point where i just have to so its become an option #idk i also might just be lying to myself and be about to get hit really hard with how bad this all is tomorrow #job interview friday. but plausibly i dont think i can take the job even if i get it bc i just dont think i can move to nyc #i just feel like ive hit a dead end #like i was a side character in someone elses story and that person has moved on so im just like floating in stasis #bc my part of the story is over i wrote myself out of their lives so i don't really exist anymore #idk my brain is telling me all these things that i know are silly but feel so true and i just am tired and empty #sorry to be dramatic and complain again just dreading work so bad #i just dont see any path forward thats not this forever loop like i cant make or have real connections with other ppl #and thats whats supposed to make a life real and worth living #but ive never had the capacity to connect right and ive never had passion for anything and ive never been able to really love and be loved #and i dont know how to fix any of it bc honestly i dont think any of its fixable #ill always be an emotionally harmful drain on anyone i think i love and ill always be left when they realize that #and then ive just hurt another person and i dont want to be a person that just hurts people so i cant be around people anymore #but its so empty and its so lonely and i hate myself so fucking much #anyway. i sound like a pathetic whiny teenager lmao sorry i know how stupid it all is i promise

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thermesiini · 2 years ago

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so like the thing with hannibal is that hannibal lecter is supposed to be such a competent and charming presence that despite his really obvious hiding in plain sight thing everyone's confidence is so unwavering that they outright ignore his direct involvement in these murder cases. its. supposedto be a scary thing? and i dont know if its just mads mikklesens like silly demeanor or the framing but it just comes off as ridiculous its a big reason why hannibal is funny and it is supposed to be funny you know but i cant tell if this specific type of funny is intentional or not

#it especially comes off as funny because of the serious super horribly lit tungsten filter that chokes every scene #anyway the biggest thing about how hannibal lecter got away with it is not very perceptible when its supposed to be the most #perceptible thing about him. that hes easy to trust. and obviously they had no intention of having the audience fall for it because one #he is already an established character from the books and movies and most of the audience already knows his deal #and. i forgot what two was going to be.#well anyhow. the way all of the other characters who we are supposed to be believe are super smart react to the idea of hannibal having ill #intentions with anything ever is just really funny because theres no shared suspension of disbelief between #the characters and the audience. so the audience knowing turns it into a comedy.#but what im trying to say is. depending on the intentions with the writing which in this specific case i kind of cant tell #it isn't working in one way but that weakness ends up making hannibal a fun watch #im not good with judging acting which is why im like well i dont know.#so like i said it depends #honestly i can not tell what im trying to say but it doesn't matter. hit post

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decadentdreamlandcowboy · 2 months ago

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