#everything sucks. except no it doesnt! my life is awesome!!!!

[tazzmanian-devil]

im so scared of the future. i dont know what im going to do with myself. i am not mentally capable of working enough hours to support myself without killing myself. i truly believe that if i lived alone i would burn my house down. i cant work jobs that require a lot of standing or interacting with others. i dont have the autism that makes me good with computers to do something online. i have no idea what im good for. i dont even draw well or often enough to do commissions, and i feel too guilty about not being in a difficult financial situation to even offer them.

i dont know how to apply for disability or what it would even grant me besides tax benefits. one of the questions on the website is for employment status, and the two options are employed and unemployed/seeking employment. i do not think i am capable of working a regular job, and i have no idea what IRregular jobs there might be. i tried reaching out to my school's employment coordinator, and her ONLY advice was to sell my work. i am trying!

maybe it would be different if i felt more direct and specific pressure of a problem to solve and less general pressure to do what im supposed to without knowing what that is. im living with my grandfather and aunt right now, so im not feeling housing pressure. my parents are paying for my education, so im not feeling pressure to pay that back. why do i need that? what is it for? what is my goal? i dont know. i have money from student loans in my bank account paying for my groceries.

i feel like a horse whose ass has been spanked. something is driving me forward, but i dont know what or which direction to run. i have no idea whats coming, and its horrible. i dont know what i want or what i should be doing next, except for 'get a job' which is such a vague instruction that its leaving me spinning my wheels.

i should get a job so i can live alone...but i dont want to live alone. i dont think i CAN live alone, unsupported. what is any of this for??? i start taking steps forward, and im haulted each time by myself asking why? why am i doing this? whats the point? what do i want from this? nothing? i want nothing? im only doing this to satisfy external pressures? then whats the point? cant i just watch movies all day instead? whats the point?

[artificialac1d]

aswhoa there big ol spirit phone post whoaaaaa. (I WAS ORIGINALLY DOING ALL OF THE ALBUMS BUT THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG SO I’LL DO INDIVIDUAL POSTS FOR THE ALBUMS) (NOT INCLUDING MASHUPS SORRY :[)

alright lets go sorry if theres spelling mistakes i am tired and my keyboard hates me ;[ spirit phone - ok so VERY COOL the first half i feel is supernatural and the second half is more like.... a comment on capitalism?? yeah,, idk either thats what most people say lol. thanks neil!! lifetime achievement award (ebiccc). very long (ab 6 minutes) BUT the length is worth it!! the lyrics are jammin not to mention the instrumental!! the singing is very chefs kiss let alone the effects on the singing!! very cool song. touch tone telephone!! (ttt) so ttt is VERY jammin but its a little overrated. I GET WHY, but it is definitely not the best song made by lemon demon. well i guess thats mostly up to interpretation, but its not the best. the message is cool!!! conspiracy theorist going fucking batshit crazy?? hell yeah!!  cabinet man (😳) how the fuc did this man get in cabinet???? hfgbrfj.. ANYWAYS the beep boop instrumental is one of THE BEST on the album next to the very epic instrumental of as your father i expressly forbid it. anyways, the lyrics and beat are v nice v satisfying!! i love singing this song like, only third to as your father and soft fuzzy man!! singing is hard :[ no eyed girl (where are her eyes???) neil is a monster/alien fucker and you cannot change my mind. no eyed girl is one of my favorite songs!! i mean all of the lemon demon songs are one of my favorite songs but... um,, ANYWAYS. imagine being some guy who just like, made the world get destroyed bc you were horny over an alien. when he died (holy fuck what is up with this dude) the amount of mysteries that are brought up in thius song is AMAZING. when i listen to lemon demon on alexa the only albums i have access to are nature tapes and spirit phone (because i use spotify and not apple music) and i hear this all the time!! its ALWAYS a good time very bangin very jammin 20/10 sweet bod (aha 😳 what do you mean im eating a dead body) neil?? are you sure it isnt sexual??? super synthy and cool!! the funk never ends!!! funky town!! never go down!! (im sorry) the idea of drinking dead bodies to cure cancer though not very cash money. wowie zowie capitalism!! the lyrics make me uncomfortable if im listening to it with someone else BUT if im alone i will  scream sing this song eighth wonder!! (goofy mongoose ends humanity) i heard like in the commentary that neil was proud of this song and honestly, i dont blame him. VERY jammin. i keep saying jammin but i dont have synonyms. i havent read that news article about gef but i should sometime!! the way the song just is is just mwah  ancient aliens!! (caveman go aaaaa) i dont have much to say about this one because it isnt my favorite. NOT because it doesnt jam hard but its just not as good as other ones. man i am mostly just praising neil. this is fun to sing!! instrumental is VERY cool bery epic,,, soft fuzzy man (hhhottie 😳) this is my FAVORITEEEEE i can say SO much about this song on how it JAMS. the little beep boop after the first part is GREAT I LOVE IT. the chorus lives rent free in my brain. singing this is the best source of serotonin !!! ahhh the lyrics and the message!! very cool!! i love that neil made this song as a comment on dudes who think being mysterious is cool (yucfky ew) one lyric taken out of context makes me feel weird but like idk i just link it with something not great (once you go hazy you’ll understand i’m your soft fuzzy man sounds like he roofied someone) BUT i can ignore that because that wasnt the intention of the lyric!! very ebic songgg. as your father i expressly forbid it!! (neils my dad???) whoa,, neil scrEAM,,,, honestly i cant stop thinking of neil’s daughter while listening to this (sorry) but umm THE INSTRUMENTAL IS THE B EST!! the little beeop boop>?>?? YES i love it sorry about like not being able to get ideas across my brain is old computer stalling noise rn i earn my life (he damn earned it) this is my moms favorite!! (yeah she likes it too surprisingly!!) this song is really nice,, verry cool little instrumental bits!! awesome!! singing it is a 10/10 experience!!! reaganomics!! (baby, baby. YEAHHHHHH)  whoa!!! ronald reagan?? and he wants to take you for a ride?? anyways, whoa!! instrumental!! i can tell that neil puts a lot of effort into his songs because ALL of the main tracks are bangers.  man-made object (shit i caught insomnia from looking at the moon😔) SO big ol giant tower towering over everything!!! i kinda have a bad experience with this song because when i drew fanart for it my friend misconstrued the tie i drew with... a sexual organ. (hes fucked up) does NOT mean the song is bad but i get reminded of that whenever i listen to it. very COOL SONG!! YES!! build that giant skyscraper girl you go spiral of ants (im im caught in the spiral of ants girl) whoa last song... ON THE MAIN TRACK AHAHA!! just kidding i cant do the bonus tracks. ANYWAYS whoa!! a tornado of ants? count me in! the lyrics are very epic!! and fun to sing except for the AND WE BECAME A HURRICANE because its a high note and i suck at high notes 😔i did it once but i cant anymore 😔😔this sounds very nice i love it!!  if you read this all the way,, fucking,,,, thANKS because this is hella long im sorry i hope you liked my opinions bye!! <3 i’ll be doing more album stuff in the future (possibly even tonight because i have nothing to do with my life.

[stevetwisp]

What do you think of the school 6? Have a favorite? Thoughts?

I LOVE THEM

the episode “what lies beneath” was like such a treat to explore their fears and have them help each other out like-

what i loved so much about their introduction was that it was *about* them and their friendship and it’s honestly just been about that ever sincei’m glad they didn’t stray too far from them to tell an interesting story- like

i know i complained about cozy glow not being chrysalis, but it was a really good decision to make her just another pony who goes to school with our new student six because if she was, in the episode, the ending wouldn’t be about our NEW characters doing something

it’d be stuck in the past making starlight and the mane 6 more important- which in this episode, they are the B plot and that’s ok!!! 

i’m happy to see the student six like.... get a lot of time to shine, show case their personalities and how they interact with each other- while also not being like one note characters with no depth 

yona; is adorable and i think the thing i love most about her character is how willing the other characters are to help her out- like it’s so easy to have yona be kinda like the odd one out but it never feels that way, i love yona, because her friends love her so much and thats so special to me

silverstream; i honestly thought silverstream was going to be really one note- like trying to be a halfway between pinkie pie and skystar and while she sort of is- again what makes her shine is how she interacts with others, its nice to see her eccentricities not treated like she’s the “weird” one that no one gets (like s1 pinkie pie??) seeing her get scared and have the lasting effect of the storm king be showcased while also having gallus talk to her about her fear without solving her problem for her? like!!!!! this is just really great way to make these characters feel real and different from the previous main characters 

ocellus; IS PERFECT AND IS GONNA BE THE NEXT CHANGELING QUEEN, i wish more was done with ocellus- she’s a changeling and i wish she’d... *change* more- i know that part of introduction was like she’s gotta learn to “be herself” but even that i wish they explored more so im hoping if the student six get another season they explore ocellus a lot more c: I WANT AN EPISODE AND IT’S JUST OCELLUS AND YONA

gallus; gallus could have been some bratty idiot who makes everything cringy and terrible BUT NO gallus has a heart of gold with a sad backstory and they waste NO TIME letting you know that- which i think is awesome likethere was no way i was going to sit thru a bunch of episodes of gallus being horrible only to have some “very special episode” about how hes abused at home and then never have them talk about it again like, NO no im not going thru that shiti like that instead he’s mostly a decent griffon, he can be a little curt- and at first he’s a little mean- but it’s nothing that a little friendship can’t soften and i’m glad that that’s exactly what we see, gallus, content and happy to have friends and to tease them and have fun- while still having all that sad home life in the backthere’s nothing worse than a show- with a mean character who treats all their friends terribly and the show just keeps telling us like “oh this one’s damaged so it’s ok that theyre awful” without ANY growth 

sandbar; i don’t have much to say on sandbar, i wish they’d really play up his beachy-ness more, like i was really ready for like a borderline stoner character but to be honest sandbar can be a littleeeeee bland, which kinda sucks bc he’s up against the coolest characters the show has seen- like little kid griffons and changelings ??? sandbar’s got competition!!!!! so i hope again if they get another season, we get to see *more* of sandbar and what his deal is? on the other hand, i was so afraid that the show would just *forget* he’s a pony?? like in the finale i was afraid he’d be locked up with the others and no one would address that he’s a pony but they don’t! like he uses that to his advantage which is really cool and very topical for the sort of uhhhhh “theme” these story arcs are going for i also really like his relationship with the mane 6, i like that he’s just some teenager who thinks the world of them bc theyre like hometown heroes to him and it’s always special to see boy characters who admire girl characters for their work and achievements and not,,, idk literally anything else. 

smoulder; when i saw “what lies beneath” i was so afraid of what they were gonna do with smoulder, like you see the tea party and i was like ‘oh no, theyre gonna drag girly stuff in a show,, FOR GIRLS’ but nahi like the reveal of smoulder being really into that sort of stuff like- originally smoulder was a cool character to me bc she was like a less socially inept ember, she’s not really mean just likes to tease- like gallusbut most importantly is that she doesnt see herself as “too good” for the pony stuff- or even “too tomboyish” for it- she doesnt do the whole “im not like other girls” smoulder is just smoulder- she doesnt have some big commentary on her place in the society she just does what she wants and offers help when she canshe’s really... a very very nice dragon, despite what she might try and say about itand with the reveal of her “fear” it adds a huge amount of depth to her character without having to point directly at it and try and comment on itsmoulder acts tough because she’s a dragon, she has to act that way to survive, but now she lives in ponyville and she’s realizing she doesnt have to be tough all the time, she’s allowed to do the things she likes and be the dragon she wants to beit’s tiny but one of my fav lines of hers is in “father knows beast” when she just says “i sleep in the school now, nothing says we have to sleep outside” like; she’s a dragon, but nothing says she has to be a dragon in the traditional sense, she can be a pony-like dragon like spike, she can be girly if she wantsshe can be whoever she wants to and that’s real special 

i think what i like about the student six is not what they’re *doing* with them, but what theyre *not* doing? like i’ve watched... a lot... of cartoons in my life and this season feels refreshing because we’re treading in sort of new territoryi get these expectations and when they’re not met, it’s not disappointing it’s really exciting to see them go in directions i didn’t predict! same with the characterization with the new students 

there’s so many things they *could have* done, which would have been.. an.. acceptable show, but it wouldnt be different or exceptional- itd just be the same stuff over and over again

i’m so happy we have tomboyish girl characters who dont see girly things as below them, happy to see characters who talk and act differently be accepted as one of the crowd rather than gawked at for comedic value, happy to see boy characters treat girl characters with respect and admiration rather than just love interests or decoration and just really excited to see what happens next 

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK I THINK I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE OF WHY I ALWAYS LIKE THE VILLAINS BETTER

Like man it always makes me so confused cos i mean im a soft AF person and i always end up having sympathetic redemption headcanons for them so its not like i like VILLAINY ITSELF but what else do all these characters have in common?

Thats it. Thats it, ursula helped me crack it.

I just WANT THOSE TRAITS ON THE HEROES

I really want a nice confident sassy funny chubby trans auntie who promotes body positivity to our young hero and always gets to say the coolest lines and get the best moments and BE LOVED FOR WHO SHE IS

And like usually whenever you get anywhere close to seeing those "villain traits" on a hero they like.. Remove all the good parts. If you have a supportive hero aunt she's always boring and generically supportive instead, and has to look like the most stereotypical boring mess ans have a super small plot role and uuuugh thats IF SHES EVEN THERE i mean seriously aunties and grandmas are weirdly less represented as mentors than grandpas who are already REALLY HARD TO FIND and again OFTEN GENERIC AND UNFUN WHENEVER THEY GET TO APPEAR

And how damn often are we allowed to have a chubby gay aunt!! WHERE IS MY CHUBBY GAY AUNT!! ive met SO MANY chubby gay aunts in real life like 90% of all my psychologists have been either that or like.. The exact same but a straight lgbt ally instead. Sassy plus size aunties are THE BACKBONE OF OUR SOCIETY DAMMIT! I've had so much help thanks to sassy gay aunts!! And like even just looking at any damn crowd scene in a normal city centre youre gonna see so many chubby aunts and long nosed uncles and all those sorts of bullshit "ugly people" that mass media pretends are ugly and relegates to One Minor Role In The Entire Cast despite them being infinately more common than supermodels and NOT UGLY AT ALL GEEZ IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH

I cant believe im a fuckin disney villain fan cos of body positivity

Tfw u suck so bad at making hateable people that the fandom universally hugs all your villains and ignores your boring protagonists like fuckin TAKE THAT DIDNEY

God i wanna hug hades sooo bad he just needs a friend aaaaaa

And i mean its not just disney, every damn time ive obsessed over a villain its been because they have some trait thats supposed to be "bad" but its actually good and we dont get to see it on the heroes

Like my thing with science villains in particular is that when i first played ff7 i really liked the idea of an evil minion who's a bad sidekick not just because he's "dumb" or "bumbling" but because he's actually not interested in any of the evil stuff and he works against his own boss and is like.. Friendly to the heroes, i have no particular grudge against you and i wont stop you if im off duty and all. I liked the Turks for the same reason but in the origibal ff7 translation they were kind of stoic and serious and i didnt really become as much of a fan of them til i saw them being more goofy and comic relief in some optional sidequests and then their movie adaptation. But hojo was always being all "lol my boss's plan is so stupid amirite" and had that very memorable scene where he's just sunbathing and tells you everything you need to know to get to the next thing to ruin his boss's plan cos i mean fuck it who even cares im just here to soak up some sun while fully dressed in a turtleneck and labcoat. It sucked so much that he was such a reprehensible bastard with creepy sexual assault vibes and murder and child abuse and experimenting on people and basically just NOT A LOVEABLE VILLAIN but his CONCEPT held so much potential to be filled by a sympathetic character instead...

So yeah then cos of him i kept being obsessed with finding SOME CHARACTER SOMEWHERE that actually lived up tp that potential, and thats why i was instantly interested in charon from pokemon and totally on edge waiting for the slightest chance for him to become That Perfect Sass Gramps Of Legend. And then he was indeed sassy!! And had so little screenyime that there was potential for interpretation of him as potentially redeemable cos i mean the game never said he wasnt, the game barely said anything about him at all, lol. And he was so old and small and frail looking and i just wanted to protect him!! And then that one wifi event that actually hinted at synpatheticness!! Aaaa its a recipe for a Forever Fave~

And i guess maybe it all started with my grandma being awesome and me really missing her? Cos i had shitty abusive parents and she was my ONLY good family member who showed me what love was like. And she was also basically a supervillain. Like every damn supervillain trait except being evil! She was bombastic and confident and sassy and mischievious and loud and passionate about stuff and always had something funny to say and never gave up no matter how many times she failed. And she also used all that great power for the forces of good!

So yeh thats why i love sassy good guys and i hate that often even when a sassy villain gets redeemed they seem to lose all their edge and become more generic now theyre a good guy. Or they get totally sidelined with no screentime anymore, or they ONLY get to be comic relief and dont get the full and complex redemption they deserve. Or just a lot of bads!! Its never the simplest answer of just fuckin.. Keep the character the character. Thats kinda why i didnt feel too much for the maleficent movie even though the concept itself sounded like everything i ever wanted. The character in that movie is a very different person to origibal maleficent, she's more just a stoic tsundere mumsy figure than a hammy badass iconicness. Still a nice villain redemption but it felt like it would have been better as an original story instead of an attempted maleficent. Also i wish they handled it better with the whole "true love's kiss could be from your mum instead" thing cos i get sooooo grossed out whenever i see people shipping movie maleficent and aurora! Like yes sleeping beauty with lesbians would be great but not when one of them is old enough to be her mum and raised her like a mum and changed her goddamn diapers! Also why did they have to ruin the three good fairies just to make maleficent have the mum opportunity? Like just remove them from the story if you wanted maleficent to raise the kid instead. No need to rewrite them into incompetant assholes when they were everyone's fave part of the original! Dont sacrifice the rare and elusive Good Sassy Gay Aunts!! THEYRE LIKE THE ONLY ONES IN DIDNEY!!! (Incodentally merlin is the equivelant of this to hades as the fairies are to ursula)

Also also villains tend to have ACTUAL FLAWS in stories that have a more boring bland protagonist. I wanna see the story behind charon's neuroses and how he struggles with overcoming his temptation to be bad because of greed but ultimately manages to conquer his own negative side because power of friendship and such. Thats a great character arc that provides so much more than he does as a villain where they just wasted him entirely :(

SO BASICALLY IN SUMMARY

* villains are often more complex and well developed characters with flaws while the same wroter might make shitty heroes due to the illogical fear that nobody would root for them if they werent 100% perfect and successful at everything ever

* villains are also often made as negative stereotypes of minorities and other rarely seen traits, which means its easy to reach out to them and reclaim them as a more positive version when theres literally no other options for you to cling to

* the quite common accidental sympathy factor where a villain will seem to be hated more than they deserve for their actions, ir unjustly punished so much that they feel like an underdog, since the writer assumes you'll think theyre "more evil" for being a stereotype and if you dont agree that this thing is bad then it seems like they have way less sins than the story claims they do

* also sass. Sass is good.

But basically the whole root of it is that its stupid and cruel and doesnt goddamn work when you make villains bigoted stereotypes. It just makes me love them! The only person i hate when i see a stereotypical villain is the writer who thought that was a good idea, lol. Just imagine that meme of the samurai holding the cat but its me holding all disney villains!

Also even if a villain isnt outright intentionally meant to be "this minority is bad", it can still make me symoathetic to them if theyre still something thats rare amoung the hero side in the same series. Like charon being the "most unredeemable" villain despite being the most harmless and funny and his plan being so much less world destroying than cyrus, and also he's the only grandpa villain in like.. The whole of all. And he's drawn very much in that way thays supposed to be "ugly" i.e normal grandpa, vs that weird sort of younger than he looks grandpa that hero ones tend to be because blablabla beauty ewuals goodness anti body positivity whatever. Tho actually sinnoh was good with that, they had the best grandpa professor in my opinion cos he got to be sassy too! Rowan always reminds me of auron from ff10. Sinnoh was a good game where i liked a lot of both the heroes and villains even if i still had more villain faves cos i mean pokemon is always biased towards that for me since every game has a voiceless perosnalityless main character and often theyre the one doing most of the heroing with the supporting hero characters having surprisingly little proper screen time. Thats a big part of why i loved hau gladion and lillie in sun and moon! They felt more like a real friend group than any other ones before.

ANYWAY now im just going offtopic into more "i love lots of stuff about every pokemon game" so ill stop typing now

But just basically VILLAINS ARE GOOD COS THEYRE GOOD CHARACTERS and if those stories gavethe same character a good guy role then id still love them just as much, if not more. I dont specifically like villainy, its just that my definition of a good character is often considered a bad character by lazy writers, apparantly?

Also WHERE IS MY SUPPORTIVE GOOD GRAMPS CHARON GAME AND GAY AUNTIE URSULA GIVES YOU FASHION TIPS SMARTPHONE MMO

[sunfish999]

if y’all ever wanted to know anything about me... i tried

hm I’m bored (i say this as i should be doing geometry homework

1. read: probably the paladin prophecy, or the finisher (just books i’ve read like 500 times, idk about understanding but--) watch: the vampire diaries? (idk i watched the entire series in 7th grade wygonnad) or aquamarine movie? listen to: XYLO, LUME, more specifically Need Nothing by Verite 

2. bro i have no idea who they are actually but I’ve seen like 2 fanfic writers who write exactly like me and seem to think exactly like me i love that. also a reg writer? uh probably mark frost? i aspire to write like f scott fitzgerald but it never gonna happen hun (cos i wanna major in physics not literature lmao)

3. holy fuck lets pick like 3 fandoms, aight? uh first lets go w my hero academia? tokoyami ofc? next... percy jackson bich-- nico LMAO no maybe bianca? hm HARRY POTTER -- ginny prolly although i dont want to date harry (oops) The maze runner? tommy actually ;; naruto? fucKINH ROCK LEE BABE uhhhsdfhh star wars is anakin and voltron is lance (or pidge actually) i should stop buuuut yeao ok

4. i think my name is fine but i aint gonna share it here (also kinda wish my nickname was charly though thats all im gonna say ALSO yes laurel is a faux name yes 

5. human being because i do nothing. lol but yes i think that who i am as a person should be based off my actions, for it is how i act that shows other people who i am, not ‘who i am inside’ dont make fucking excuses for your actions people 

6. yea i believe in 1 god and i was raised as a catholic christian but i am accepting of all religions and views

7. i mean kinda??? idk im very polish and so i eat lotta polish food (gr8 stuff right there) but im just american so yea 

8. muscial artists, well bitch i only started actively listening to lots of music (aka spotify) like last year but i listened to ari grande when i was young ofc but i dont rlly feel connected to her. maybe like, adele? probably her yea 

9. yes i am a visual artist (preferred medium is watercolor) i looooove singing although i suck so i just do it for fun, i played the french horn for 2 years (also suck so not really lol) um i also write for fun and im good at writing informative essays (my school is big in the english program lol) i was also in 3 plays but i dislike theatre so no. also i like clothes i am a fashion artist wow

10. tf? idk? i have like 3 mottos: “if you want something done right, do it yourself” “the answer to existence is not why we are here, but how we affected others during our time here” “jack at all trades, master at none, better than a master at one “ “you don’t have to speak to be present” “consider how hard it is to change yourself and realize what little chance you have in trying to change others” “do the scary thing first, and get scared afterwards” “the very fact that you're actively looking for ways to become kinder, and attempting to understand your flaws and change them for the better is fair proof that you as a person, are kind.” OK YEA MAYBE I HAVE A CREED SO WHAT 

11. ideal day lol art, reading, and binge watching tv in bed while eating. otherwise spending the day meditating in a forest in spring where its warm but not too warm and just not speaking the entire day 

12. both. i have 3 cats and 2 dogs. love all of them dearly though i’d consider myself a human puppy vs a human kitty (im not a furry calm tf down)

13. outdoors, if you mean nature. if you just mean social activity, then indoors 

14. as i said before, i like singing even though i suck, in grade school i learned the ukelele, piano, and french horn. i remember none of that now 

15. influential books my ass. LETS GO: 1. into the wild (krakauer) 2. Fahrenheit 451 (cant remember author name but its fucking iconic and a classic and it made me think) 3. just gonna go an put harry potter because that shit changed my life 4. the hobbit? idk, iconic 5. i wanna read more literature-y books soon but whatever, i feel like i should say the great gatsby but honestly with writing my essay and everything i just dont give a shit anymore

16. ok i feel like if my parents werent as strict when i was younger id have less depression and be less stressed but then i would also care less about my grades and being kind and i like that about myself sooooo 

17. lol this is EXACTLY me guys because its fucking anonymous as hell because i know none of you (except for like 2 mutuals but ive never met them irl but they’re cool) i dont trust my friends. or family, for that matter

18. my patronus is a wolf thanks for asking; and my power animal: symbolizes instinct, intelligence, and an appetite for freedom. embody personal power and balance between self-control and animal instincts. a guide to inspire you to live more freely

19. im a gryffindor, i took the pottermore test twice and got it both times, also, i took it doing the opposite and got slytherin, so i aint them (but i love slytherin sooo)

20. fuck are you serious? honestly hogwarts would be awesome as hell but probably middle earth because it still got the magic but it gorgeous as hell 

21. yea i’d probably say i love easily since i like barely talk to my crushes and yet i think i really really like them because GODDAMN 

22. school. daydreaming. eating. phone. drawing. 

23. i feel like once i move out for college i’d like em a heck of a lot more, so probably like at least once a month? when i’m older? like at least once every 2 months? i love my extended fam though

24. oh fuck my friend from school and i fucking liked chinchillas when we were little, we always text each other the same thing at the same time, i always know what shes thinking and what the basis for her actions is. shes the bff that doesnt always act like it all the time 

25. fuck yes 

26. pansexual and PROUD but still in the closet except for the whole internet and 3 friends 

27. ok honestly i feel like i dress kinda like a basic girl just more minimalistic and modest but i kinda totally want the gays to recognize me and also i fucking want those patterned polos because hell to the yes. and also i want bangs but i do sports and i feel like id look ugly because everyone says they would (waiting til college, naturally) otherwise love my freckles and real dark eyes

28. honestly, probably like a 2-3. i don’t care SO much about what people think, but i’m fucking annoyed by really dumb things super easily. i’m just really good at hiding it so no one ever knows 

29. why music wtf OK: 1. need nothing - verite, 2. lover like me - off bloom 3. strapped - FOOL 

30. why the FUCK all my quotes are in my creed bitch lemme search :

“growing up is giving up” 

thanks for listening to my TED ED talk aaaaand i hope you know me a bit better and i hope i didn’t accidentally give away too much info and someone will come kill me ok BYE 

[shahedam]

Queen of the South episode 8 & my “Godfather” feels

Ok so I rewatched it today....Some interesting things.  I have watched a lot of gangster movies/tv shows and one of my favorite gangster movies of all time is Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather.  In no particular order.  

1.  James is always prepared. He had a fire extinguisher y’all.  He is a very intelligent man.  But James the next time you are trying to put out a fire you aim at the base of the fire.  I loved that he is a mature guy.  He showed us that a man can be a gangster and a gentle man.  My heart almost burst when he had the finger on the trigger and she said no, we will kill them all when the time is right.  Who the hell does the sound track the music just has me in a mood.  Like yes.  For James he gives me Young Vito Corleone (DeNiro) feels.  

2.  Sherriff Mayo is a sad man.  Remember his conversation with Teresa.  He was beaten and bullied so much that it changed him into a sadist psycho.  

3.  Pecas is not a bad guy.  He is a boss.  He is the biggest narco in La Comision.  He is trying to protect his spot.  He sided with Boaz who disappeared so that connection to the Colombians went to Camilla so now he is working with Camilla who is supplying him with coke.  He never wanted Teresa in Arizona and he tells her that at the meeting.  Teresa wants the throne so she is going to have to get on some murder mami shit so it is what it is.  

4.  Taza.  I like Taza.  He seems like a good dude.  He wants to build schools and hospitals.  Too bad they can’t get the casino up and running.  Vegas is like 4/5 hours away from Phoenix so I don’t know why they can’t get it poppin but whatever.  Those cars were awesome.  I liked that him and Pote led them down Death Highway.  

5.  Pote.  Pote. Pote, if that is not a ride or die I don’t know what he is.  He is a soldado.  He is loyalty at its finest.  I love Pote.  Teresa and Pote have both been through a lot together.  The bond that they have is awesome.  At first when I watched the episode I was like wait a second Pote you done gave the green light and then the red light but as I watched it again and from feedback from other QOTS Jeresa fans, I realize that Pote was giving her his blessing. I see now that he needed to know what was up because it is important.  I also realized that he has never witnessed how the two of them get down for real.  I think in Chicago he saw it a little but he was kinda giving them the side eye but Guero was there...Pote was at the crib in the kitchen in Dallas mostly when they was on their day to day Bonnie and Clyde thing and when they bounced to Malta James wasn’t with them.  He doesn’t know that before the sex these two were always risking their lives for each other?*%!  He would die for you was what Teresa needed to hear just like James needed to hear that she didn’t regret sleeping with him.  He gives me Clemenza feels...

6.  Teresa.  I am a little torn about how I felt about Teresa.  She showed her grown ass woman side, sweetly checking both Pote and James for locking her in the cellar.  But, I didn’t like that she laid out the plan at the reservation after so many of them were against her plans which ultimately led to one of the tribe losing their life because he snitched the whole damn plan, she could have just left it at the I just want to let y’all know that we just gonna get this money and that’s all this is, we appreciate y’all help.  Ok Taza, back to what you were saying.  Feel me.  She up there talking about transporting coke, just doing too much.  Then ok just 48 hours prior Pecas sent a sicario to your place of business, said sicario killed your delivery driver on your property, you carve his tattoo from his arm and Fed Ex the skin tag to Pecas with a dove (I peeped you jumping Pecas when that bird flew out the box), that wasn’t a peace offering that was a message, you didn’t stop there you even put a little note up in there.  So fast forward to 48 hours from that delivery time stamp you actually sent your people over to negotiate some El Santo coke, I wasn’t surprised that he killed Tonto (RIP Tonto fly with the other silent sicarios, I don’t think I ever heard him talk except for when he busted Teresa in the mouth with the gun or was that The Charger.  My bad I digress)  Anyway.  Teresa you shouldn’t have sent them to do that.  Lil T need to be in the ICU right now, no offense Taza.  I feel for that young girl.  When James said she knew the risk I felt like I felt when he asked Teresa did you see what Batman hit you with I need to get me one of those.  Too soon babe.  Teresa was dead ass wrong for doing that I could see if it had been a couple of weeks ok maybe after Pecas got him some sweets (he love to eat) but nope that young girl might die and if she doesnt she has a Return to Sender tattoo on her back and that sucks.  Uh duh.  Michael Corleone feels.  Everything from the tragic death of her first love to her rise to become the Queen.

7.  Camilla.  I just have to give a hand clap to who ever dresses Camilla because I love her style.  Classy and always on point.  Loved that black kimono.  But forget all that jumping right into it, Camilla knows who the General is, but allowing him to record her that was sloppy.  Also the whole conversation with Pecas had me nodding my head because she wants her money.  She basically told him bitch better have my money.  Isabella was lying then coming and trying to ask for help but I thought you said that you ain’t seen Kique, he wasn’t taking your calls (meanwhile you in dusty ass garages running up on Kique talking about mi amour, go sit yo fast ass down somewhere don’t you got some homework to do.  Damn Isabella gets on my nerves).  I think that they should have just killed both the young lovers and put us out of our misery that is Isabella.  Kique was sad but, damn it, you sitting in a car in a dark ass garage and you didn’t have enough sense to have the doors locked I mean to me you was asking for it.  So stupid.  Then if General Cortez wasn’t going to kill you hell you gave him the idea telling him that he could kill you but that will not take your love away from Isabella, you out here giving the killer ideas...and then what took the entire cake was you bringing up Camilla playing him out.  Cortez is a horrible person and a straight pedophile.  I don’t like him.  He was always checking Isabella out.  Remember when Epifanio had to tell him to chill talking about her at her party.  While I might not like Camilla’s ways she is still a boss.  She still runs the south and she is about to be dealing with her crazy ass daughter who I wish Manuel son had killed but then Teresa wouldn’t have gotten the 10 million from Camilla and she wouldn’t have been able to pay El Santo and the little angel would have came back with Thanos to kill Teresa ass, that’s not his name but he was scary.  I’m excited to see how she gets out of this thing with Cortez and Isabella because he has definitely played his hands since he didn’t kill Isabella when he showed her Kique’s body.  Camilla gives me Don Vito Corleone (Brando) feels, the end is near for her but she is still running everything.

8.  King George.  Ok I love James.  I love Pote.  I like Teresa (see above).  But like I really ride for George, he is like all your day 1s he just has your back.  Again, Teresa is being extra sloppy.  You start a war and you got dough.  You need to tighten up on security for your whole squad that’s what a boss does.  Nobody ran up on none of them when they was with Camilla because like Camilla said it’s her job (The boss) to keep them safe.  Teresa killed the governor of Sinaloa and knew it was gonna be retaliation, stole Rocco’s girls, put a hit on someone Sherriff Mayo who survived said hit and all I see is that same little ass squad (no offense James and Pote) but there has to be some number that you can call and get you some killers, like the Continental Hotel or something for the cartels...George and Bilal should have had a squad with them not no whack ass phone call talking about be safe.  Now I know George got his own thing going on but I’m just saying they snatched him.  I guess that’s the friend in the cage.  He’s my Santino “Sonny” Corleone feels.  That is not a parallel or foreshadow of how I believe that King George’s character will play out on the series.  Because I loved Sonny’s character like I love George.  He is a mess but a beautiful mess.  Remember when George shot his shot at Teresa...You can be my Pocahontas or I can be your Pocahontas...I would make you my queen if Rico Suave didn’t already have dibs.  He called James Ken Kardashian.  I can’t.  I am hoping George AND Bilal survive...Until next time kiddos.  Bless

[kadyshackkk-blog]

Final Reckoning Episode One Review plus a little info from seasons past.

Hello World! Mtv’s Hit The Challenge Returned Tuesday July 10, 2018 at 9pm! This season is “the end of the challenge as we know it”. Which as of right now I’m calling total b.s. since well mtv the last few season has been “recreating” older seasons ie; The Challenge Invasion of the champions, a very sad and terrible attempt to recreate the iconic The Ruins. Then we went into Dirty 30, the longest season in existence and a horrible rip off of Free Agents which in my opinion was the last great season of the show. In the dirty 30 we had something called the purge aka lets fuck Darrell over and allow a bunch of idiots to run the show. Yes I am still bitter because Darrell was robbed out of a title that season and instead our winners were a racist and an anti feminist douche lord, I mean Camila and Jordan. Then we slide into Vendettas after that tragic second season of Champs V stars, which we won’t even talk about since it was a bunch of d list celebrities who i didnt even know and well the terrell owens aka the biggest bitch in the nfl. Moving along, on Vendettas we received a much needed invasion of new people from big brother and mtv uk! Be warned I have never watched mtv Uk shows or any big brother so I had zero idea who these people were but I was excited to see them! We also got from season 5 of are you the one Kam, Eddie, and Alicia. I loved that season of ayto and the people they chose to come onto vendettas made total sense. But what didn’t make any sense at all was the poor get rid of eddie they did. Now I will only say this once and the source that told me this is very credible since he was on their season of ayto he also doesn’t like either person involved however he dislikes eddie more. Simple fact is Alicia Lied, plan and simple. There was never a restraining order or anything of that nature. You can look it up online its public information in every state. Moving on from that, the additions from the uk were all very attractive, and before you gasp and say even Kyle?! Yes even Kyle , I feel like he looks better in person then he does on tv. The fights that season we’re beyond annoying . This was my face anytime Kailah or nicole spoke or were on my tv screen  

I give them both a chance every season they are on but they always make me regret giving said chance. The luggage throwing incident pissed me the fuck off. & Before you all go WeLL cArA dID iT To JOrdAn guess what she put a waterproof bag of his clothes in water omg get over it. Jemmeye Kailah & Britni Ganged up on kayleigh because of a rumor about her and bananas that Devin started to get Johnny thrown into elimination. It was not okay, it is never okay to touch someone elses belongings ever. I do not care, her stuff was broken and none of the actual apologized for it. 

Now for what you came for my review of the Challenge Final Reckoning Episode 1

First off I was hoping this season was a team season sadly it was just a rip off of the Rivals series which was only decent for rivals 1 and 2. Rivals 3 was ridiculous and a waste of time and energy. In the beginning we see everyone show up and Tj is all like guess what your partner is buried and you have to find them! oh and the last two teams will be sent home ending their time in south africa. Me as a view knowing damn well tj is full of shit 

We see Zach dig up his partner Amanda first. Listen I was very excited to hear that Amanda was coming back this season! I really was until all the twitter beef with cara, and unless you’ve been living under a rock you know exactly what I am talking about. (hint him and amanda won the challenge wooooooooh)

Here is everyones partnerships.

Zach & Amanda; Their beef seems a little forced since it’s about Amanda “making up” lies about jenna that even jenna confirmed was true. This team will go far if Zach learns how to work well with women.

Angela & Faith; I honestly don’t understand their beef, really over tor’i really. irrelevant ass team. Angela doesn’t have that same energy she did with Alicia when it comes to Shane and Kam. They won’t go far unless someone (cough cough angela sleeps with someone in power, pulling a veronica in the ruins when she hooked up with my favorite toothbrush twin evan.)

Dj Bald I mean Brad & hair plugs pathological liar I mean kyle; THIS TEAM MAKES ZERO SENSE YALL DEADASS MADE SOME SHIT UP. UHM HELLOOO DARRELL TAYLOR DID NOT WHOOP THAT ASS ON THE RUINS FOR ZERO REASON. Like mtv please stop calling kyle , he literally makes me want to stab him daily.

Cara & Marie; Listen these two have serious dislike for each other over a fucking tweet cara liked & it makes sense they are together. I honestly think this team will do well if Marie Actually fucking tries which i think she will. Tbh marie did campaign to be caras Partner.. However I feel like we as viewers deserved a coral cara team. Those two are both very strong women who need to work out their issues and become civil because I personally love them both.

Ct & Veronica; An og team, ct called v weak but she won more daily challenges then the majority of the girls on dirty 30 . A team to actually fear if they try and win 

Derrick & Tori; Yasssss my boo derrick is back!!!!!! Don’t tell tyler but i adore derrick and think hes amazing. I really like tori as well but her taste in men is just as questionable as mine. Back story tori cheated on derrick with jordan. therefor they don’t like each other.

Bananas & ??? : THIS LITERALLY COULD BE ANYBODY. I’m hoping its sarah so he can break his curse and retire because honestly no one can touch his record unless Landon came out of retirement or if production doesn’t keep fucking over darrell

Joss & Sylvia the sheep; Joss is Hot , and he voted sheep into the elimination and she got mad. damn well knowing she would’ve done the same thing. they do great.

Kam & Melissa; I love this team, this “rivalry” started over a misunderstanding I’m hoping they do well...

Natalie & Paulie; I don’t care enough to waste my time

Nelson & Shane; I’m actually started to like nelson, my dislike for him comes from my loyalty to tyler.. I love shane he is the sassy gay bff that I need in my life. This team will do well if nelson and shane both keep themselves in check

Mama Day & Jozea; I’ve never watched big brother but this team is by far my favorite big brother pairing, I follow both on twitter and they make me laugh daily. underdogs i stan

Britni & Chuck; The hotmess express team. Clearly still feelings there, chuck sucks for what he did to her, they will need to find a way to get past their issues

Jenna & Jemmeye; One of the best moves in challenge history caused this feud. they will do well, jemmeyes brain and jennas brawn.

Kailah & Kayleigh; Failah likes to bully others kayleigh was her victim last season. they’ll probably be out pretty early..

Now to the results of the challenge

Amanda and Zach won.

I’m not to sure about the rest of the order except for the fact Day & Jozea came in last but before jem & Jenna and Chuck & britni.

it was chucks fault him and brit lost 

it was jennas fault her and jem lost

but was anyone really in shock

So then we hear bananas yelling for help since his partner left due to family emergency everyone goes digs him up and if it was up to me he wouldve been sent “home” and not brit and chuck since they almost beat day and jozea.. after they get bananas hoe ass out tj announces that amanda and zach are able to send another team home! And out of all the teams these two dumb asses pick day and jozea. like uhm helllooooooo!!! ya’ll deadass had the chance to send send strong teams home... I can’t the stupidity of these two i can’t. SO  then the three teams leave and “go home”. Everyone goes to the house and already a fight breaks out between shane and angela, over a fucking shelf. Homegirl didn’t have the energy with shane like she did with Alicia , but we already knew she was a fraud. Then cut to outside where Joss and amanda are already flirting with each other. I will give credit is due, Amanda is a beautiful girl but has a very ugly soul and joss is very smart to hookup with her, camera time is everything and why not hook up with one of the most dramatic cast members ever. Cut to Syliva saying this could go great for her alliance or terribly for her alliance at least shes smart. The Que the amanda and joss makeout session. Then we cut to bananas cara and hair plugs talking about cara and kyle. Everything out of kyles mouth is a lie and garbage. Kyle states hes gonna sleep with other people and caras like cool whatever . The cut to faith and hairplugs making out, then faith gets into hottub and johnny being johnny brings it up in front of cara, and cara pulls a queen move by being like if he doesnt want me im not gonna wait around. boy bye best choice shes ever made. Then baby girl proceeded to go into a room and make herself look bad by trying to get at paulie. Like oh no baby what is you doing go to sleep and leave him alone..

Then we cut to the best part of the night in my opinion, first we see melissa walk in and try to be civil with kailah, failah wants zero part in it but melissa still tries because melissa wants to be nice then failah pushes melissa and melissa molly whopped her then they were pulled apart 

Everyone but kailah stans on twitter 

Then the teams who were “sent home” arrive at the redemption house and tj explains some shit i wasn’t paying attention because i didnt care at that point 

Then they go to the photoshoot day and Tj shows up which is never good..

Tells melissa and kailah they are both out ..

Now we dont know kam and kayleighs fate, we find out next week..

Over all this episode was awesome , the cliffhanger was needed , we had a fight some hook ups and a twist.

this season will be interesting to say the least. 

[gaymafia]

I’m legitimately curious why people didn’t like the last Jedi? I saw it and thought it was okay? Is there something I missed or? Like it wasn’t great but it was passable?

ok so i wasnt gonna do this here bc nobody fucking asked but u asked so thank u but also strap in ur ready for a while ride

TLJ spoilers, obviously. also my issues are going to be numbered in no particular order bc my thoughts on this movie are so fucking scrambled but here we go

1. Kyle Ron. First of all fuck Ryeanne for making me see so many goddamn closeups of Adam Driver’s ugly ass face. I did not need to see all that he is so goddamn ugly especially that fucking shirtless scene where he looks like a block of pasty ass pale wood.

But for real, Kylo Ren. I don’t actually take issue with his existence, because Kyle really does excellently represent rich ass white boys who have everything handed to them but throw a hissy fit when they face the slightest adversity an throw tantrums all the time. It’s nice to see a villain that represents most people real-life nightmares instead of like, a Sexy Temptress or Old Evil Man or whatever. That being said, kyle is not given the villain’s treatment in this movie. if you cut out all the scenes where ryan is not actively sucking adam driver’s dick and jizzing all over himself over kyle’s angsty white boy angst, the movie has virtually no real plot (”oh no we are in space with no fuel, nobody is going to do anything except get mad at each other, miscommunicate, and deliberately make all the characters of color worthless while separating Finn and Poe bc fuck the gays”). So much of the movie is spent not just establishing how kyle became kyle (which is good! backstory for villains is good!), but trying to get us to like, sympathize with him? which is the shitty part. I dont care that Luke “”””tried to kill”’’’ (he didn’t) kyle. kyle had turned to the dark side before luke’s mistake. kyle had a million and one chances to change his mind from the start of TFA to the end of TLJ, and he never did. Kyle is an evil guy. We need one of those. He’s a great evil guy bc he’s got so many shitty qualities. But ryin doesnt want us to hate kyle, even tho hes the villain. why the fuck doesnt reean want us to hate kyle? bc rayan is also a shitty little man who thinks giving ur white boy a sob story makes him a sympathetic villain and sidelining ur characters of color will help.

also again the fucking shirtless scene what the shit man that was so gross

2. Will be broken down into A, B, C, etc. bc TLJ treats its characters of color like SHIT. 

2A. Finn. Finn gets put in a coma bc why would anyone want to write anything interesting for john boyega its not like hes the MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN and the MOST TALENTED ACTOR who is being sidelined bc ryun hates black people. Yeah Finn is totally into Rey and he wants to save her and is willing to desert the rebellion for her. that happened in the first movie but why give your characters real arcs when you can recycle old ones to jerk off to kyle ron. the rose thing happens, shes like “we can disable the tracking” and like TWO SECONDS after he was dead set on desertion he’s totally down to risk his life for the rebellion at rey’s expense? that sure is a quick 180 with no real reason why and no writing to explain it! then there was the whole “separate finn and poe” thing ryain pulled for the shits and giggles.

2B. Rose. I was pretty chill with Rose, she had a dope backstory, her sister was badass, and I liked that they made that connection off the bat. I’m not mad about anything rayn did with her character but i genuinely believe thats only because i havent thought about it enough yet. give me a week and i’ll figure out how rain fucked it up. open to suggestions.

2C. Poe. Full offense but was I supposed to be mad at Poe for coming up with a plan when that bitch Holdo was like “I’m not gonna tell you my plan sit tight and be convinced we are all going to die :)” i legitimately did not understand how I was supposed to be mad at poe for doing what he thought was best for the rebellion after he asked holdo what the plan was and she was deliberately obstinate and refused to even be like “dont worry i have a plan” she was just like. so dumb. Also poe got thrown around a lot and i am A Little Suspicious of how much physical violence he experienced compared to many other characters.

2D. You guessed what was next! The slaps! Super awesome how the two men of color were slapped by white people!!!! So deep!!!!!!! For real tho uh the second time i saw this movie someone in the audience laughed when poe got slapped by space hitler hux and uh??? not funny. not funny or cute or clever to use the guy you built your entire nazi imagery on to slap the one black man on your cast. i dont care if it was supposed to make us “hate hux” or whatever more. i already hated hux reyn. you could have used that screentime in your 3 fucking hour long movie for something valuable, like giving finn a character arc, or literally anything else besides that goddamn slap. i was livid watching that.

and then with leia and poe? i get that part of the conflict was internal in the resistance and one of the major themes was how failure is the best teacher and all that but like? maybe stop physically assaulting all your characters of color? maybe uhhhh at least think about that first??

2E. like i mentioned before one of the obvious themes was how failure is the best teacher so naturally all the major characters had to fail at something, and then learn from their mistake to be better next time. with luke it was fucking up with kyle, with rey it was being naive enough to think kyle could turn, with poe it was the dreadnaught thing, finn was left out of this because raan dooesn give a shit abt finn bc hes a racist bastard, etc. but it was incredibly transparent how all of the white characters’ mistakes meant either personal losses or something small scale with one person, while the mistakes of the characters of color (poe/finn/rose) were all ones that cost the rebellion the vast majority of their forces. rey got out of her fight with kyle and snoke unscathed. luke got a lot of guilt and character development. What did finn poe and rose get? the deaths of like 99% of the resistance on their shoulders. A little too coincidental that even though rey LITERALLY GAVE HERSELF OVER TO SNOKE she was totally fine a-ok no real scars, finn and poe and rose doing their best to save the rebellion while admiral holdo refuses to tell them anything costs the resistance so fucking much. rey does the DUMBEST FUCKING THING with no real consequences and finn and poe and rose try their best and are punished severely for it.

2F. Really convenient how everything finn, poe, and rose did ended up being useless and just cost the rebellion lives, whereas at least rey’s mishap got snoke killed and taught her a lesson. reeeeaaaalllllyyyyyy convenient how finn, poe, and rose’s plan was a huge waste of time. it would have been much better for us to see an actual plot line with them that contributed to the story and their characterizations instead of “send them on a goose chase, make it pointless in the end, physically brutalize them along the way.

3. R*yl* bullSHIT: ryyn had a really fun time with a lot of very rape-y scenes in this movie. the whole force-connection thing with kyle and rey was soooooo uncalled for, it reeked of non-con fantasies, catered to the r*yl*s like nothing ever before, and was so goddamn gross. the obvious invasion of privacy and lack of consent was nasty, using it as a shitty device to make rey “come around” on kyle was NASTY and that whole thing was nasty. i know im not articulating this well but there was so much about that whole thing that bothered me. i just know reyhan was so fucking into it, inserting kyle into rey’s life, forcing her to completely drop all of her characterization in the first movie to suddenly thing kyle can be good, acting as if rey hasnt seen all the shit and known what hes done. the whole thing was gross and a really obvious example of why men shouldn’t be allowed to direct movies.

4. killing snoke was a dumbass fucking mistake. kyle is a tantrum-throwing temper-losing toddler. snoke was evil and mysterious and shit idk. we knew he was powerful as fuck, he looked like a testicle which is a great villain imo, he was the darth sidious and they killed him off while kyle is still in like. ep2!Anakin levels of angst. i get that kyle is already powerful or whatever but like. hes not cold and calculated the way snoke was. kyle is a good villain, but a weak main baddie bc hes dumb as fuck. he let the rebellion get away bc he was pissed at luke. that was dumb as fuck. kyle is ruined by his emotions, and snoke was a scarier main baddie bc he wasnt so fucking dumb lol

5. it was so fucking long. there were so many scenes that could have been cut or shortened. why did we need to see luke milking the tiddy of that weird alien cow thing. why did we need to see kyle ron shirtless. why did we need so many goddamn shots of the fucking porgs.

6. ya the porgs are cute or whatever but like. that whole “look at how sad the cute big-eyes porg is when chewie is eating his friend” thing was so dumb. i dunno why but i hated that the most. that was the worst thing the porgs did. they were cute but like chill disney u know they like ran algorithm after algorithm to make that porg the cutest it could be with science or some bullshit and like? thats dumb.

7. i get that the humor in star wars movies is shifting but i felt like there was too much of it and it was dumb. a lot of the riffs werent funny and there were too many of them for a star wars film. star wars usually doesnt take itself too seriously, but this one was a little too much for me.

8. there were too many plot twists for shock value. the story went on too long. it should have ended earlier but it didnt. i dont know why ryenn decided to have like 6 different climaxes but it was too much. should have let there be one climax buddy. thats it.

9. holdo. besides holdo being the white feminist icon why didnt she just fucking tell poe the plan. why. why was so deliberately obstinate when it was doing no good. like yeah of course poe sent out a crew to try to save the rebellion all u told him to shut up and let you handle it! obvously what she did in the end was badass or whatever but like uh hun next time dont be a piece of shit and then get mad when people react to you being a piece of shit. i would have been okay with all that happening if holdo wasnt treated like some hero who never made any mistakes. she did make a mistake, and that was refusing to tell poe what her plan was when she knew he was absolutely the type to do whatever he could to save the rebellion whether he had her permission or not. also apparently holdo is a lesbian or bi or not straight or something in like the comics or whatever and like 1. classic bury ur gays but also 2. no more word of god gay characters if a character is not gay in the movies i will not give you the gay cred for it sorry homophobes

10. i didnt buy the story w luke and kyle at lukes jedi training facility or whatever. surprisingly, i was ok with lukes story line and character development, and actually agreed with it for the most part, but i just like. i dunno i didnt feel like that was something luke would do. not because luke is infallible (even tho he is my gay dad who has never done anything wrong ever) but because the entire original trilogy is luke believing darth vader could be saved. and while im not opposed to luke changing his mind about whether or not everyone could be turned away from the dark side (luke was young and optimistic in the original trilogy, and as he grew older he would learn more about the jedi and their history like the whole speech he gave rey about how the jedi have to end bc theyre lowkey shitty). i actually kind of liked luke’s hot take on the jedi, because it was lowkey my hot take on the jedi (esp the prequels jedi who were shitty as Fuuuuuck but we are ignoring the prequels for now lbr) but also because i could believe it was a view luke would come to as he aged. but impulsively drawing his lightsaber to kill kyle before he had actually done anything bad, after suspecting that kyle had darkness in him for a while, even though he felt like he had failed? it just didnt feel like luke to me. i felt more like raeyn had chosen that particular backstory to try to make kyle a more sympathetic villain rather than give a believable and in-character back story for the characters. i understand that luke’s failure ultimately has to lead to the creation of kyle ron in this story line, but that didnt feel like the right failure to me. maybe this is just me being nitpicky but that felt off to me too and i dont know if i can quite pinpoint why.

11. rey was a dumbass fucking bitch in this movie. rey could not be a dumbass fucking bitch to survive as a scavenger who was orphaned at birth on jakku. rey would have had to be smart and not as fucking DUMB as she was in this movie. now im getting heated so i cant articulate this well but she just did so many dumb things that anybody who had to raise themselves would have never done. she would never have delivered herself over to kyle ron like what a dumb fucking idea. who wrote this goddamn movie. fuck u ryeen.

12. why did yoda come back as a force ghost. where is anakins force ghost. he would be so fucking pissed at kyle right now. he would be mad as hell. he would have ended this thing. he would have called kyle out like the shitdickbitch he is and put him in his place. i get that yoda is more like ancient and orginal star wars jedi knowledge shit or whatever and like more of an authority on the jedi but like anakin is off in like force ghost hawaii drinking force ghost martinis while his shitty fucking grandson is being a piece of shit?? nah man anakin would have shut that shit down they better bring him back for ep IX and i expect hayden christensen himself to show up to bitch at kyle about what a fucking dumbass he is.

tbh theres probably more like i know there’s a ton of little things i hated but as scathing as this review is there were things i liked. visually speaking it was a very beautiful movie when we werent getting atrocious close ups of adam drivers ugly ass face. i originally hated but have come to appreciate the darker tone, since it mirrors the mood of TESB in that the rebellion seems dead but obviously isnt bc this is star wars. i liked luke. i dunno. i had a lot of issues with the movie obviously. to be quite honest i cant actually think of anything else i liked atm which is telling.

anyway if anybody actually reads this long ass fucking post feel free to respond with what you hated abt TLJ

[baebeyza]

I wanna learn more about Szorkach! because tbh i think he's my favorite out of your OCs so far (and he's totally not my phone wallpaper atm) 💙

Okay sweetheart, lemme just add a bunch of my favourite art of him:

XDDDAnyways, to his story:Szor’s story begins with the fact that in my story undead’s have the same status as everyone else, but only on the surface - if you didn’t live in the undead country Nera, you had a shit life as an undead.But let’s say you are a “worker” for a farmer and you escape from the abuse and get refuge in Nera to have a better life, it wouldnt be guaranteed, because the Nerarian Ruler had so little power that they couldn’t say no if the Farmer you worked for previously wanted you back on his farm.That’s the kind of shit that came over the years of the other countries opressing the undead country.BUT there was one way to guaranteer your stay in Nera - having a child born on Neranian ground - because the law in Nera says that every child deserve a guardian and if someone is born in Nera they are automatically a citizen of Nera and therefore it’s not allowed to take the parents of that child away from them.That law is the ONLY reason Szorkach was born.His father, Istvan, came from the country Varona and joined a refugee group who travelled across countries to gather some undead’s and to then travel to Nera together.Szor’s mother, Soo Yeon, came from the country Bwara and was used as a sex slave since she 12 and Istvan saved her from her abuser.But because Istvan feared her abuser would try to get her back, he had sex with her, even though she didn’t give consent (she was also only 16 years old by that point, he was over 20)Anyway, they did arrive on Nera and Szorkach was born, and because of that they are not only save from the outside, they also get a house for contributing to the undead population.Their “happy life” went along for like 2 years, but Soo Yeon, being deeply traumatized and mentally ill, set a fire in the house during a craze, and Istvan died from that.Soo Yeon and little Szor were saved, but Soo Yeon, once she gained her sanity back, refused to take care of him any longer, saying she couldn’t and would only hurt him as well.So their saviour, a Morvar Pixie called Shiya, brought little Szor to the Chief of the Morvar’s and asked him what to do with him.About the Morvars: They are a small undead race who made it their goal to be servants. Not like cleaning servant’s and such, they mean being the right hand man of a special person, protecting them, guiding them, being there for them, with their awesome super powers - mind reading and magical dragon powers. (they are also called Dragon souls)Thing is, since they are a race, you can’t actually turn an outsider into one, right?Not really, because all the superpowers and original features (blue skin, black scelera, things like that) are being put into them, after they are born.The only thing these people wouldnt have is the genetical “brain washing” that makes it impossible for Morvar’s to ever use their power’s for their personal gain. A thing which was invented by the first Morvar because he thought the powers they had were to powerful.But the Chief decided to still turn Szor into a Morvar, because the King at that time would get a child soon, and they wanted Szor to become that child’s servant, so that he could have a very happy life as the servant of a prince.(PS: the master’s are almost always people their age, you get a master chosen for you before are right after you are born and most of the time that master isn’t born either at that time)So much to that, he did have a rather nice life as the servant of a royal member, but the guys 82 old at some point, he sure had an eventful life, but that’s so much detail, so now I will just talk about some personality shit xDSo Szor knows that he isn’t like other Morvar’s and because of that forces himself to make an effort to think of himself as a servant who only want’s to do what’s best for his Master Lysander. (Lysander himself isn’t so serious about that). Buuuut, he does stuff with his power’s for his personal gain ALL THE TIME. He uses his mind-reading to blackmail people a lot, just to get stuff for free or get his way in certain situations. The other Morvar’s know this, but they dont actually give a shit and don’t say much other than “stop being an asshole man.”At some point Szor also made the choice to make Lysander his actual priority and protect and serve him forever, that was because Szor got kidnapped and tortured when he was 17 and Lysander saved him and cared for him without break, til got on his feet again.What the kidnapper’s wanted to to with Szor is to use his already given dragon nature to turn him into an Lycanthrope, (but not as in werewolf, a were-dragon).The process was looooong and really painful for Szor, but Lysander saved him soon enough for him to not have changed much. But there are still some features from that, like the picture on your phone, they way half his face is weird, that comes from that kidnapping.He also has enhanced senses from that. That’s why he wears sunglasses, his eyes react too extreme to sunlight xDAlso little info on that:Lysander didnt save him like some knight or something, he was kidnapped with Szor and held there to keep Szor under control.During those few days they were kidnapped, he managed to kill the kidnapper’s via necromancy - he sucked out their life force, making them rot.As an adult he can do that with no effort within seconds, that makes him actually more dangerous than Szor, despite being disabled.About Szor’s more evil nature:So remember the law that made him exist? He hated the whole thing.He hated how living people treated undeads and he hated how little power his foster-father, the King Lysandro, had.He also knew how his real mother was treated, and using undead as sex slaves and for prostitution are things Szor also hated. (and still exist)His goal is to get rid of that oppressive system and free all undeads who are forced to work in the sex industry. And once they are saved, he and Lysander make sure they can get work, a home and care for them til they can live on their own.A lot of them also work for Szor and help save even more abused undeads.Sounds heroic, but Szor also kills all the people who are involved in the sex industry, from the owner’s of a whore house to the people going there.He made sex between living people and undeads illegal and punishable by death, just so that he is allowed to kill those people.And what if a undead sex worker’s doesnt want to be saved and likes what they are doing?Szor kills them as well, because they support a system other’s are abused from.The thing is, he doesn’t fight to protect innocent people, he fight’s to punish guilty people.And he does everything for that, regardless of who get’s hurt by itAnd since he and Lysander gained the power to make new laws, he has, lawfully, all the rights he needs to kill whom he wants to.That makes him lawful evil.In one story of mine he even is the villian and kills two people the main heroin liked dearly, but because he has every right to kill them, she can’t do anything against him. In front of a judge, he’s in the right.PS: ABOUT WHY HE HAS POWERThat’s because a group called “warriors of Light”, who believed undeads are monsters and must be get rid of, murdered almost every member of the royal family of Nera, to make the destruction of the entire country easier.The only people who survived were Szor, (who, together with some other’s people who protect the royal family, killed the assassins) Lysander and his niece Syra, Lysander’s wife Shanna and their unborn son Dominic.As an answer to this killing Lysander gathered every force he had to find every member of the Warriors of Light and decided to kill them all.

Which wasn’t hard, since Szor, and all other Morvars who assisted him, could read minds.Thing is, the Warriors of Light were funded by the King of Arath and his entire family (except for one child called Nicolai) and so they were also on Lysander’s list.And with their knowledge from the mind reading they killed all the people they wanted to kill.But it didnt stop there.Lysander than gathered all the other Rulers and showed them the dead royal family of Arath and threatened to do the same to them, should they not sign a contract. (he also killed some people with necromancy to scare them :D)That contract includes:- Lysander has the right to add new laws to the other countries - They have to make sure that udead businesses in their country get treated fair- remove the refugee laws in Nera (the one I told about in the beginning)- return every undead to Nera that was brought back because of said Law- and each country ruler (and they descandants) have to promise Lysander to grant him and his offspring one favour they can’t refuse- Morvar’s get special treatment as judges (that’s why Szor can kill people without court)And yeah, that’s why Lysander, and with that Szor, has so much power :D

[askluxnovalibra]

Part 1 Hey can you please help me, I'm a libra sun sag moon scorpio venus and mercury (and dominant) and nobody has really seen me cry or sensitive and I feel like nobody rly knows me except for my brother, cousin, and two closest friends... but they kinda suck at opening up too, and my brother has enough psychological problems. I always get perfectly along with scorpios and capricorns and yin moons bc i understand how underrated and misinterpreted their suffer and pain are

Part 2 And there are these two friends: sag suns with scorpio/pisces moon… and they are so omg im sorry but its so freaking painful. They both have their problems but they both are so fckin shallow seriously. The pisces moon just doesnt understand what life is and is brutally ingenuous. And scorpio moon is such a b**** rly. She has a tough backstory her brother has always been a jerk (he’s mentally ill) And i though she would be great bc she always says she understands pain and etc.Part 3 And here comes the deal: I have been exposed to mentally ill ppl, ocd hysterical and completely evil people who happened to be my beloved family. At 14 I stopped having them and found out they were everything I didn’t expect them to be. I lost my whole childhood (wich happened to be my basic reason to live). At 15 I went to a sports school. They were our friends, we trusted them. One year goes by and once again I am betrayed by my friends and fall on the ground.Part 4 Then, comes the BEST part. As ive said im a scorpio venus. I fell in love at first sight with a boy that totally corresponded. Small detail: he had a gf. He now broke up with her so thats kinda nice (not to sound mean, rly) for me but whatever; I was 15 and I had been betrayed by everyone. At 16 I was dead inside. I didn’t get attached i didnt live i didnt like to be even awake i cries everyday before school and after school and before going to bed.Part 5 I even got to a point of cutting my arms bc i enjoyed knowing the pain i was going through was actually real and not “sumthin you have to go through, its life.” I met the scorpio moon. At first she seemed awesome. Until getting upset at the smallest thing. Im a scorpio dominant and i know i dont need to be like that. I know she just does this because shes immature and has no clue of life. Im sorry im doing this long ask but rly i need help. No one literally no one knows this.Part 6 No one knows i cry no one knows i ever even cut my arms. And no one even notices. Thank god tbh. No one knows and imagines what it is to cry and scream and DIE for a dude you don’t even know. I know it sounds exaggerated but its the truths. I cant fall in love with anybody else since im 15 and im 17 (turning 18 this year) I live in a house ik im moving out of but i dont know when. I live with my mom in my grandmothers and she is also mentally ill. My mom too is always mentally unstablePart 7 She’s been through everything no one should go through. My dad is f****d up with this house and always hides very well we actually don’t have lots of money. My brother is an amazing soul an exceptional person who fell in love almost 5 years ago and still has anxiety bc of what happened (he didn’t know her too) and has too many psychological problems. I’m stuck with myself and no one seems to understand. I’m so sorry for this post. I’m so, so sorry. It’s just I’m done. I’m tired of pplPart 8 Im tired of ppl making me cry Of ppl being shallow Ppl hurting me and seeing me as A B*TCH I just need someone that actually knows. That actually can tell me they understand me and they too hate it all like me. Im so sorry and thank you for having the patience to read this. ❤️💖———————————————————–

It sounds like you’re going through a really challenging time in your life. I know it can seem endless, and it can seem like everyone is out to get you. Once you feel betrayed, it can be hard to trust people again. It is all too easy to be stuck in our own extreme emotions. After losing faith in someone, it’s tempting to write off everyone in your life as fake, shallow, and naive. Constantly replaying the betrayal in your mind will only do you harm. It’ll only make you more angry and more likely to adopt the “me against the world” type of attitude. You’re 17. You’re still young. You still have a long life ahead of you, and it would be remiss of you to go through life with that sort of attitude. You’ve been wronged, and it is alright to acknowledge that, but you must now think about the situation with your heart, perhaps not so much with your heart. The heart can be easily mislead, easily angered, easily fooled, easily spiteful, easily misguided. Consider moving into a stage of forgiveness. Forgiveness in this sense is not saying that those people’s actions were ok, forgiveness is more for your own sake. Start to detach yourself from the pain those actions caused you. Continuing to obsess over the transgressions of others will hinders your own progress. If the wound is to ever heal, you must stop picking at the scab. Let yourself move on. One way you can do that is to write everything down (as you have bravely shared with me, a stranger) on a piece of paper. Write out every hurt, every frustration, everything that keeps you up at night. Then tear it up, burn it, or throw it away. It clears the energy. It’s no longer a problem, it’s out of your head, and you are free to move on. Detach yourself from people you can’t trust. If they’re actively causing drama or unpleasantness, leave the situation. If you can, slowly stop reaching out to them, or say you don’t feel like hanging out. If you want closure, you could meet up with the, to talk. It’s harder when they’re your family members because you can’t really escape them, but you can still with them and talk out your problems. You can say “I’m having a hard time understanding why you did this …” or “I’m confused about this situation…” or “I felt hurt when this happened…”. You must also realize that most people aren’t complete bad. In a lot of what you described, I couldn’t help but think that perhaps some of those people aren’t actively out to get you. I think you may be too close to the situation. I would advise you to get an outside perspective. You reached out to me, and that is a great start, but I only have a limited understanding of the situation, and only from your perspective. I think the best course of action is to seek real, professional help. As someone who harms themself and who is surrounded by the effects of mental illness, I would seriously consider seeking out a therapist or counselor. I am not a professional. I do not know you personally, and so the advice I can offer is very limited. Seeking someone who has gone to school for psychology will be able to help you much more than I can. It is brave of you to share this, and it’s a good sign that you’re willing to reach out to others. Consider asking for professional’s help in your area. Likely your school has access to counselors and can refer you to a full-time therapist.

I really do wish you the best 🌸

[teddy-feathers]

Saw a post "what would you say to your ten year old self?" so... Dont worry so much about being the odd kid out those people are pretty lame and hell dude youll learn this long before you can put it into words but people generally like you if you actively listen to them... But yeah they dont really get invested back. So do what YOU like always. Dont hold back, you did okay about that but theres no point feeling like you're failing. Being social ISNT essential and youre not missing out on much really because again THEYRE kinda lame dude. Like seriously theyre not interested about your books or games or dont want to geek out WITH you? Then... Whats the point? And it sucks i know but you were right all along - do you. Fuck bras, fuck caring about weight, appearance, what other people think about how you look act and like especially fuck your aunt whos going to make you doubt that. Because honestly? Image of you reflecting on the family? ISNT a fucking thing except in very specific instances and you already KNOW that. Look I'm over twice your age now and let me tell you may be i feel a bit weird when i dress uber sloppy/comfy and its the same feeling I get when I dress "fun" but ive never regreted being comfortable in what I wanted to wear. But every time I dress for someone else? For how I should dress? Completely felt like shit the whole time not worth it. Another thing you were right about. The whole "like men but not going to missout on true love or whatever if they happen to be a girl or more than one person or something" THAT yes. Also you dont like guys. Its gross sex stuff I know you dont care about right now, but I know youll want to know in about two years so I'll just say - you dont give two fucks about whats in the other persons pants, what they look like or anything. Hell youre only demiromantic let alone sexual. Hmmm that may not be helpful youre ten and like i said you wont care for two years so how about... You want strong friendships. That love. Sex. Well you know. Youll figure it out and try it out long before youre really ready to know but thats okay. Just. Dont feel bad or obligated to like people back. You just dont and thats okay. You can date friends or not date. No biggy. But that thing youre craving is friendship and youll get it. Dont settle for less though. Another thing youre right about - I'm telling you the things youre RIGHT about so hopefully you REMEMBER them instead of doubting yourself - you dont want to be the center of someones world. You dont want to be responsible for other peoples happiness and YOU DONT HAVE TO BE EVER. And you dont need or have to want anyone to fill you up either. Its totally okay to just want to be you, do your thing, and make friends. I know, i said they were lame right? They dont share your interests. They dont listen. They dont care. I know. It sucks. But dont try to please them by changing you. Dude you meet so many wonderful people who do like things you like. Just. Make friends with people you like. Yes theyre scary and your definition of cool. Its better than being the token girl, making friends with gross people youd rather avoid. News flash: boys arent cool. Girls arent evil. Asshats are asshats reguardless of gender. Again just go talk to people you like and fuck everyone else. Now the really important thing. You love to read. Keep doing that. Steal all the time and dont regret it im so proud of you for being that person. Write. Write your stories and poetry, pretend its class notes, invest in a notebook cause lose paper gets soooo messy and crumples but yeah. Keep writing. No you dont have to know spelling or grammer or anything. Write whatever you want. People who think its stupid? LAME people trust me I know so many COOL talented people now and writing? Writing is cool. And youre good at it. You dont have to share it. But dont think its cringy or stupid. Write. Its really good and... I gave up thinking like that. And now? Now Ive been writing for about a year now. 26 and i have days where every word is a struggle and it sounds bland and boring but... In a year? Ive gotten so much better and people actually like some of my shit. So you just imagine if you keep writing? By the time youre me youll actually have published if you keep going. Keep writing. Because youll have had ten plus years of experience. Lastly... Its okay to not like shit. To be angry upset bored... Yes it makes things easier to find reasons to like what youre doing even though its sucky chores or doing things you didn't want to be doing... But you can hate it. To not what to put up with it. You dont have to shove yourself into a cage and smile and pretend things are okay. Being in trouble doesnt mean your wrong or have to change. Oh hey see if you can learn that sometimes youre not the one in trouble. They are ;) Youre stong. Smart. Clever. Creative. Pretty. Tough. You're a hard worker. Yeah I know I always tried to get out of doing things but dude You - I - We've never done things by halfs. Tend to give our all. No wonder we dont want to do anything huh? Its exhausting. But we keep going. We're stubborn. And... Theres going to be a lot of shit we're going to go through but... Youre always going to make it out to the other side. Youre going to be okay I promise. ... Lying is a problem with us but thats okay. You know why lying what we're always doing? Its because they made the truth the problem for us. If you can... It'll change things and I cant promise you it'll be for the better but... Only lie to protect yourself. Tell the truth when YOU trust people, not to the people you "should" trust - never do things just because you "should" listen to your gut and do what YOU feel is okay or not. - but do try to be honest about other people to yourself and to others. Dont... Lie to protect people. Maybe thingsll get easier if you do. You know how your parents treat you like the worst combination of adult and child? That never changes. Because theyre just kids too. I know they feel like they know and experienced so much so they must be right and you must be wrong but... Theyre kids figuring it out as they go along so SURE theyre right that they fooled you into believing it. They have a good prespective to work from but so do you. Theyre never yelling about you. Its never about you. They love you but that doesnt mean your dads not an asshole. Your moms not always wrong she just gives up arguing. Theyre arguing about the fact they suck at talking to one another and that they each always have to have thier way. It has nothing to do with you. Fuck grades. Just learn what you want. Also just do everything in school and then "do home work" - that is whatever the fuck you want - at home. You DONT have to be busy doing something productive every second but sense thats how they seem to want it, just use it against them. Youre "busy" on "homework" that you already had done so just play you game read write whatever. Fuck grades though. You learn better when you stop caring about them. Dont get sucked into dads humor even if you mean it positively or as a joke. YES its awesome that some people date the same gender as them. YES some girls dont have what you think - think not know - of as girl parts in their pants. YES people cross dress. Hell do it like youre going to want to. It IS fun. But dont CARE or deride people about whats in their pants or who theyre doing what with. Oh and some people DONT want to do anything sexual with anyone. Again. Dont laugh. Because guess what? Youre one of them. Do your "dumb kid shit". Just do it. Brag about it. Laugh at anyone who gives you shit cause theyre LAME for not liking it. Trust me. Also cussing - dude youre an adult and can do what you want... Though its WAY more fun to use made up curse I promise. Snail snot. Holey socks. Fudge it all to fudgedom hall up on old fudge hill. I know. Not much of a cheat sheet and a lecture to rivial any dads ever given. But... I still dont have all the answers. And thats okay. And even if you follow all this only YOU can control and experience YOUR life. If you actually get to read this... Youll grow up into someone different. Just as different if I told you in detail what happens from then to now. People who give you road maps and tell you to avoid the pot holes... They just make you feel like shit because you SEE it coming and do it anyways. So do you. Keep some of this in mind maybe. Youll be pretty cool either way even on the days you dont feel like it. Be safe Teddy (best nickname btw just saying)

[sunggyushines]

11 Questions

Rules:

Always repost the rules Answer 11 random questions posted for you Create 11 new ones Tag 11 people tagged by @leesungjongg​ @flowrsoo​ @infnthoya​  @sungyours​ and @star-hoya​. thank you so much guys!!! <3333333333 tagging: @leesungjongg​ @flowrsoo​ @infnthoya​  @sungyours​ @star-hoya​ @jjonghs​ @princesungjong  @wonyeols  @inpinitaize @namstar @woohyung a lot of you have already done it so you don’t have to do it again!! even if you haven’t done it its alright if you don’t do this :) 

here are my 11 questions just so you dont have to go through a bunch of my answers 1. if you had one question you could ask infinite (as a group or towards a single member) what would it be and why? 2. Have you been to a concert? Who’s concert? What was it like? 3. Your favorite live performance and why? 4. What infinite member do you think has the personality closest to yours? the member that has the personality most different to urs? 5. Do you like getting up early or late?  6. What’s something you feel super passionate about? 7. Lead pencils or normal pencils or pens?  8. Sparkling water or still water? 9. Grab the closest book, go to the 11th page and read the 22nd word  10. string instruments or band instruments? 11. 3 reasons why you stan infinite

leesungjong’s Questions:

1. Are you a chicken nugget?  wait have u called me one ? i think u hve so i guess i am. or did u call something else a chicken nugget. my memory sucks

2. Can you whistle with your fingers (bc I can’t and I think it’s pretty darn cool)?  no! but when i was younger i used to able to whistle through my hand in like a fist? i had watched this elephant movie and they called the elephant like that i think...its been a while. anyways its like this guy right here! except not that good i could only make one or two notes. 

3. Do you know how to read or write in another language? Yessssss

4. What color is your room? Very white

5. Favorite quote(s)? Favorite Spongebob quote(s)?

All of hoyas rap in footsteps

“i’ll sail through the pouring rain. of course i’ll get wet but who cares, i’ll dance in the rain”

i havent watched spongebob enough to have a fav quote from the show (on the list of many banned shows as a kid hahah now that im grown up im lowkey glad my parents didnt let me watch it)

6. Do you wear makeup? Nah

7. Can you burp the ABCs? i havent tried but its not something i think id want to do ;D

8. Are you an alien? Can you beam me up your spaceship? i dunno am i? 

9. Highlighters (the makeup kind) are actually stardust. True or False? idk what they even do where they go what they look like so i have zero answers. 

10. Did you drink water today? Hydrate yourself and then finish this questionnaire.  i have drank water!! 

11. Someone comes from another universe and tells you about their world. From what they’re talking about, it sounds pretty awesome (despite a few aspects) and you’re thinking about visiting this cool place. The person asks you to come with them, but there’s two conditions. 1) Only you can go. 2) If you go, there’s a 50% chance you might not be able to come back to this universe. What is your decision? Why?

idk that planet doesnt have kim sunggyu’s music infinite so no (it is not an exaggeration to say that infinite is my lifetbh)

flowrsoo’s Questions:

1) If you could live in only one season, which season would you choose? Probably spring

2) Favorite flower? hoyahoyahoyahoya

3) Have you ever prank called someone? If so, what happened? OMG this statement just brought back a truckload of middle school memories of sitting on the bus to go somewhere for some club or something and the kids prank calling people. i didnt personally prank call anyone but ppl near me have hahaah. dont quite remember what happened

4) Have you ever danced in the rain? not that i know of but i feel like little me might have

5) If you could stop what you were doing right now and be somewhere else, where would you be and what would you be doing? playing music

6) If you could live in a book/movie what would it be? hmmm good question. its been a while and i think i’ll cheat and put down a tv series. avatar the last airbender lolol just bc i always have wanted to bend stuff...but i wouldnt want to live in warring time

7) What was the last picture you took on your phone? well it wasnt my phone but a random old phone which has like zero pics so i commemorated it with a pic of my dog lolol but on my phone its a pic of hoya during kcon

8) If you could have a superpower, what would it be? well not invisibility bc i already have that power ;D maybe time travel?

9) What do you think is your best trait? i dont have one

10) What’s your favorite song atm? atm?? dunno. all time fav though is def shine by kim sunggyu

11) What is something that makes you happy? shine by kim sunggyu  infinite

infnthoya’s questions!

1. Let’s say superheroes exists. Would you like to be one who saves their people from inhuman enemies like those in the movies? Why/why not? probably not. i think ur life would be in constant danger like 24/7. although itd be nice to have super powers, its not nice to constantly worry about ur life or something idk?

2. A song that makes you think “I wish i was the one who wrote the lyrics to this”? hmm i tend to focus on musicality more than lyrics (and how the lyrics influence the musical decisions and stuff). honestly having a hard time thinking of a song where all of the lyrics really resonated with me. oh time spent walking through memories. i love the lyrical progression of the song. the imagery is so ridiculously pretty  3. An mv that makes you think “I wish i was the one who shot/directed/wrote the scenario to this”? hmmmmmmmmm again i spend wayy too much time focusing on music rather than filmography and stuff. i’ll just say white confession by infinite. bc its one of the few infinite mvs where they are just being happy i guess? like other mvs have gore and sadness and all that stuff id be very sad watching it. but the white confession mv had some genuine moments of ot7 and i think id love to have been the one to see that irl.  4. Is there a song without an mv that makes you create your own in your head? If yes, which song and what would be the mv like? shine by kim sunggyu. jkjkjk as much as i love the song im not sure if ive created a mv for it bc  i feel like the live version would be MV quality worthy honestly. now that i think of it, for a lot of songs i just kind of imagine ppl singing it? or rather the colors and feelings that are evoked by it. like habitual irony sounds like a sunset thats the imagery i get from it. so i’ll just say habitual irony with a sunset theme i have no idea.  5. Something that made you happy recently? HOYAS PERFORMANCE AT KCON I JUST KSDJLFKSJDLFK 6. Something you bought for yourself just for pleasure (not a necessary item) recently? (Pics if possible) recently? nothing but i did by the reality album + poster like when that came out (lol guess whos pc i got ;D)  7. Does your bias look better in formal or informal clothes? Convince us with pics! both??? 

8. Movie recs? i really don’t watch movies hahaha

9. If you could form a duo with someone (not necessarily a singer/celebrity) who would it be? Why? kim sunggyu  i have no idea maybe someone who could duet with me on an instrument thatd be cooll...except my instrument skills are so subpar. i honestly cant think of anyone bc i feel like id bring every partner down

10. Dream job? a musician but im already way off that track and i’ll never get there ever hahaha 

11. Something you’d like to say to anyone (just one person) right now? (Except for me. Since im the one who asked, i dont wanna sound like im forcing you guys to say something to me xD) recently flowrsoo gave me some awesome advice so i want to thank her for that <333

sungyours’ questions :) Are you more of a cat or dog person? i have a dog...but idk if i am more of a cat or a dog person Sweet or salty popcorn? idk i really like butter  Is tomato a fruit or vegetable? A FRUIT FRUIT IS EVERYTHING THAT HAS SEEDS. CUCUMBERS ARE FRUIT. AN AVOCADO IS A FRUIT  Your favourite subject at school? bio or chem probably (music is where my heart is though) An idol’s body you wish you could trapped into for one day? hmm eunji? shes a great singer i wantt os ing like her A social media you use frequently (other than tumblr)? nothingggghahaha ok twitter bc i have to keep up with the romeo fandom ;D A talent you wish you could have? EVERYTHING OH MY GOD i wish i was like brilliantly skilled an something but an instrument would be ideal so then i could major in music without hesitating. Something that could instantly turn you off from other person? being mean Your ideal weekend? sitting alone i guess What did you dream about last night? idk what i dreamt last night, but the most recent dream i remember was that there was some sort of musical that i had to rap the rap part in “day by day” and i kept searching for the song on my phone but i couldnt find it and i kept getting distracted by other things and then it was my turn to go on and the dream stopped. i woke up and realized a) there was no song called day by day that i knew b) the song i was thinking of was day after day c) that song does not have a rap part Any book(s) you would like to recommend to me and your followers? ive stopped reading books unfortunately :( so no :( 

starhoya’s questions

Are you usually early, right on time, or late? usually early!  Tell me who your 2nd bias is and why you stan him/her? 2nd bias in infinite? (sunggyu) i blame his music 100%  What was the last thing you ate? hmmm ithink salad?  Do you like spicy food and what’s your tolerance to spiciness? this might sound a bit weird to ppl who dont eat my cultures food on a daily basis like i do but i literally dump plain yogurt on everything and eat it. not bc its spicy but bc i need the calcium and i like the taste of how it tastes with everything...so over the years my spiciness tolerance has gone down a lot.  Recommend 3 songs to me please (it can be any language/genre). :) habitual irony~nell btob ~ spring day’s memory (remember that is the english title i think) house of cards ~ bts  tried to keep it to non infinite songs What concept are you hoping INFINITE’s next comeback will be? honestly infinite has yet to disappoint me with a concept. as long as it has the classic infinite flair i dont mind whatever concept it is...(though there is one concept that would give me hard time to get used to) Can you play an instrument and if so, what instrument and why did you learn it? yes! a bunch of them and all for different reasons! violin bc i wanted to play an instrument in 3rd grade and someone i knew chose violin so i chose violin lolol. then piano bc i got a keyboard for xmas one year so i picked it up. and then viola bc i thought it was such a pretty instrument. and then xylophone/vibraphone/bells/other misc percussion bc i was in the pit in our marching band bc i thought itd be cool to learn instruments  Is there any movie you’ve watched more than 10 times? oh wow maybe a miyazaki movie? i literally grew up on those  How many people do you follow on Tumblr? 270! Tell me about something you’ve achieved? hmm what have i achieved? lolol not much recently but when i was younger i got a black belt so thats cool :D Do you wanna build a snowman? :D COME On LETS GO AND PLAYYYY im p sure ive never made a sucessful snowman in my entire life so if u can teach me how to as well, that’d be great ;D 

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

//what the fuuuuuuuuck??

i feel like i just walked into a different game

-

‘a foreigner’

well 

like

maya is the direct descendant of freakin Mystic Ami 

man i really hate Kooraheen

-

“I wonder if Maya has matured any since the last time I saw her?”

oh they tried, phoenix

they tried

but that shit doesnt fly 

...apparently growing an inch well after you've naturally stopped growing does, though. oh well whatever

MAYAAAAA

-

“its on top of a mountain and its freezing”

“i think i can handle it”

bullshit phoenix youu fucking liar exercise and cold are your least favourite things

-

ahlbi: dont go in there that river is full of souls

phoenix: lol but what if i did

jesus phoenix 

-

all this stuff about prayer has got to be taking the piss

i cant tell if this game is against religion or just... i have no idea

-

“it’s been many a day”

yeah like i dunno just a DECADE 

many a day??????? what the fuck is this

-

“you have to train in Kooraheen because this is where the technique originated”

oh yes, totally not in Kurain, the place Mystic Ami, the founder of the Kurain Channeling Technique, founded. No way. 

-

“all i learnt was to look like a nun”

yeah because youre iN THE WRONG PLACE MAYA

-

“seat-of-you-pants, come-from-behind wins”

UM

-

“ok so it wasnt my finest hour. sue me.”

id marry this man 

-

“yep! completed the full two years!”

wow so i guess the Incredible, Amazing-Special and Highly Spiritual Kooraheeneese training regimen is the equivalent of an associate degree. 

-

“the high priest practically begged me to do it!”

mayas going to jail and he's the killer isn't he. 

-

i love that theyre like “lady keera isn't like the deities we think of from back home; she was a really real person!!”

and its like 

ah

awkward for jesus.

-

I WANT PICTURES OF LADY KEERA! (slams table)

-

“sightings of her go back 2 years!”

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 

-

“you think some regular cosplayer could take on a bunch of guys in costume alone????”

well i mean essentially every super hero is just that so

“thats why she's real!!”

ok, wearing a cloak and kicking a rebel in the balls now makes you a god. you heard it here first guys

-

something about all of this just makes me rly uncomfortable and i cant put my finger on it

-

“can we leave my hair out of this?”

once again phoenix worries more about his hair than... well, being called edgeless i guess 

-

maya’s wearing a robe and she punched a lawyer in the face... i’d say that gets her canonized at least.

-

♫ he's got spurs, that jingle jangle jingle (jingle jangle) ♫

-

“Look! Its Acolyte Zeh’lot!”

me, wincing from the pain of the pun but also yelling: ITS FUCKIN AANG HLY SHIT

-

phoenix wright’s new fun personality gimmicks include: destroying foreign monarchies and having Unexplained Broken Spine Syndrome 

I’d like to think capcom beat him with a gold club while reminding him that most of the oldest living attractive-enough-to-be-a-protagonist people in Ace Attorney are like 40

-

i dont know why but the image of a few brightly coloured monks hauling phoenix’s unconscious ass down a mountain is making me wheeze like nobodys business 

-

ahlbi: miss mayas been arrested!

phoenix: (completely unshocked) what

-

(brutal murder has just occurred)

praying man: do you think we should get up??

praying man #2: nah were just part of the background.

-

ema failed the forensics exam because she continually took fingerprints without consent. confirmed

-

phoenix: i never thought id have to do another trial where the defence was unwelcome

you'd have to quit to achieve that kind of peace, phoenix 

-

“he's calm and kind and almost always has a smile on his face”

correction; he’s haughty, condescending and almost always has a holier-than-thou smirk on his face.

-

theres so much cursing and exploding into flames in Kooraheen.

-

‘iii guess thiiiiis is what its like to live in a deeeeeeply religious society, huuuuuh’

oi

i dont know how to feel about this

-

poor baby faces his least fav things; cold and high

-

oh crap not figure skater princess

oh dear god. this is ominous as fuck. phoenix is just like “that looks like...” and then its just. one huge EXAMINE button followed by her being the only choice.

I'm feeling deeply uncomfortable 

-

“we know the killer is one of your own!”

HER ANCESTOR INVENTED–– AGGHHHNNN never mind

“in my country suspects are innocent until proven guilty”

we’ve all said it once and i’ll say it again

bullshit, capcom

-

“phony baloney” 

-

“tweedledum and tweedledee did a number on her impression of foreigners”

what the fuck does that mean

who the fuck is he referring to

this is the tuna boat all over again

-

“who taught you to demonize a whole group of people anyway”

just sounds really stupid when the “people” in question are lawyers.

-

...is this the kooraheen version of (positive adjective) people

its marginally better than the regular SOJ (positive adjective) people  

-

oh lady Kee’ra is katniss everdeen. she's even got the mockingjay and everything!

-

this reminds me a lot of Bridge

even figure skater princess is a bit like assistant!Franziska. but less amusing.

she’s rather helpful though, to a disgusting scum sucking lawyer like me.

-

idk Kurain village felt a lot more atmospheric than Kooraheen does. I’m not quite sure why... Might’ve been the music (which was awesomely spine-tingling)

but also something about just... the general feel? Like the strict rules of Kurain village felt more claustrophobic and stifling than the almost cartoonish seeming Super Prayer Aesthetic of Kooraheen. (who knows; maybe there are countries that spend 15 hours straight in prayer but idk them) 

maybe Kurain village felt more realistic in that a single town housing nothing but mediums seems within the boundaries of reality, but an entire country completely based upon it does not. 

Kurain felt like a small part of a bigger picture, whereas i feel like Kooraheen is a big picture with nothing much in it.

-

when is a medium-based case not a locked-room mystery???

-

cleared away snow... a broken lantern... gosh!!! THAT... REMIND ME OF SOMETHING

also phoenix taking more pictures is [100 emoji]

-

“almost... boggles the mind...”

he didnt seem scared but his vision did blur

maybe he got 

high

haha h ah hah hah ha

-

a full body poncho is a great fighting outfit

-

i wonder if spider-kee’ra is a fella in disguise 

-

“I wonder if he has amnesia”

either youre sherlock fucking holmes or that was rly forced. he said like 2 words to you.

-

characters who look like theyre gonna shoot u thus far: 

-Precious bobby

-dirty hobo eating lizards

-

mind reading lizard eating hobo

-

hes a power ranger!!!

-

you ask this man, phoenix wright, to move on???

you fool

-

“all my tools were confiscated at the airport”

oh except this HUGE SPRAY BOTTLE OF LIQUID

-

ema: (backhandedly mentions klavier)

me: (clenching fist with a tear in my eye) someday 

-

“Who’d have thought you’d get caught up in something like this? And so far from home?”

phoenix pls

-

“Besides, I thought you’d be used to being the usual suspect by now!”

[wheezes] that was like 3 lines before this unholy contradiction 

-

(cries) the bars are so wide he can hold his pwecious bffs hand thru them

like. if he wanted to.

also the music is surprisingly nice and atmospheric. very subtle and gentle and not an atonal mess like the investigation theme.

-

oh fuck i forgot you were here rayfa

-

maya just called herself a foreigner. fuck you capcom.

-

“ive never eaten anything better in my life”

MAYA HOW COULD YOU FORSAKE BURGERS

NOOOOO

-

fucking fuck rayfa 

she's 

the master

of the kurain

technique 

-

oh i see. she's been keeping her talent a ‘secret’

cant FUCKING WAIT to find out what the bullshit excuse plot twist is!!!

-

“I found this”

and why do you,,,,, still have it maya,,,, while ur in jail

kurain guards suck ass 

-

why did she... bring up the ladder argument 

it came right the heck out of nowhere after she says she's gonna ‘keep it real’ from now on. is she saying that was stupid and frivolous?? damnit fuckin fuck SOJ dont mock the most precious running gag in the series thats poor fuccking taste

-

priest is a rebel isn't he

-

“We’re not in Kansas anymore...” 

could’ve fooled me, y’all

-

“All Abord the Phoenix Freedom Express”

that omnibus sure came a long way...

-

rayfa doesn't speak japanifornian very well, only khumerican.

-

yikes, another ‘examine person’ scenario.

-

“are you she”

..........................phoenix

-

everyone’s so shocked that a woman is communicating with the dead in a country wHICH REVOLVES AROUND COMMUNICATING WITH THE DEADKJ HKFH; GHHL /

-

Wait, Datz isn’t kooraheenese?

-

three hole??????? three hole????? duhhh.... three hole.......... i dont know huhuhuhuuh

-

“theres an unusual custom”

not depicting a religious figures is an unusual custom????? they have got to be taking the piss

-

“I think its stunning!!” so stunning that i will steal the poster hahahaha

-

HSHFGSJK AAAHHH THE PLUMED PUNISHER

KILL IT 

KILL IT WITH FIRE

(weeps in relief)

thank you for.... dousing the pain with the original.... my soul is cleansed.

-

so what if she called herself lovely

she is lovely

let a gal have some confidence in herself, phoenix. 

-

eyyyyy psyche locks and their badass 2013 theme. I'm down for this 

-

a three pronged arrow is such a stupid fucking idea. they do know that the shape of an arrow is designed to go in easily and be difficult to pull out, right?? 

-

 Rayfa knows words like “Meritorious” in English, but not the implicit meaning of Freedom Express. 

-

youve gOT BALLS FOR A LAWYER

THIS GAME CAN GET AWAY WITH “YOUVE GOT BALLS” BUT APOLLO CANT SAY ‘FUCK’????

-

Inga’s like Redd White but less funny. amusing in that he calls phoenix ‘white’. 

also what kind of cigar is he smoking that has wax on the end??? that cant be healthy

[dual1pa]

Request: Niall and y/n's families are longtime friends. Y/N doesn't like Niall cuz he's always used girls and now he's a frat boy. Y/N's mom doesn't like him either. One day, they're back from college and Niall seduces Y/N. When he has her submitting to his will he takes her to her mom's room and tells her she's gonna suck him off. Lots of dirty talk and toward the end y/n's mom comes home so Niall finishes on y/n's face and then walks out the room and winks to the mom. I want him mean :)

hope you like it :) thanks for your request.

I saw Niall walking around campus with his frat buddies, I wasnt sure how he was still in school since he rarely never attends classes, or that’s what I heard from my roommate, Rebecca. Rebecca is the same major as him, law. It boggles my mind him wanting to be lawyer. I was a psychology major so I rarely saw him around campus, only on occasion. Rebecca had the biggest crush on him, until she found out that he only uses girls for sex and is never really seen with the same girl. It pisses me off to see him use poor girls like that. I would never hook up with him. The downside to all this was my dad was best friends with Niall’s dad because they work together, whenever the Horan family comes over to visit, Niall isnt with him, only once in a blue moon does he show up. When he does show up all he does is get on my nerves. He acts like he knows everything and is very cocky and you didnt like it at all. He would always talk about the awesome party his frat would through almost every night, or he would give you these looks like he wanted to hook up with me. It got annoying and it got annoying fast! Though sometimes, you hated admitting it but you fantasized about him more than once. 

Everytime the Horan family would leave after a long night, my mom and I would roll our eyes and thank the lord that “he” is finally gone. Though I didnt mind Mr. and Mrs. Horan, they were very, very nice and Mr. Horan is practically one of my dads best friends and he’s really happy when he’s around him and thats all that really matters to me. 

One night, I decided to go home for the weekend just to escape from the dorms for a while, even if it was just for a few days. I pulled up into the driveway when I noticed that the Horan’s were here. I pulled up next to the car so they had room to get out when they left. I sat in my car for a few minutes praying that he wouldnt be in my home. 

I walked in and into the living room to see Niall and his family sitting around the dinner table talking about my dad’s work, everyone turns their heads to look at me which was sort of uncomfortable. 

“Y/N! Welcome!” my dad gets out of his chair and walks over to me giving me a hug. 

“Hey, dad, sorry to interrupt. Thought I would come home for the weekend” looking at the faces that were staring at me. 

“No need for apologies, sweetheart! Go into the kitchen and grab yourself a plate and sit down wherever there is a free seat open!” my dad went back to talking about something about his job. 

I came back in with a plate of food looking around for a spot to sit, the only seat available was next to, of course, Niall. He winked at me and patted the seat next to him. I gave him a fake smile and sat down next to him. Everyone seemed to be held in a conversation except the two of us. 

“SO” Niall said loudly. “How’s college life goin’ for ya?” 

“It’s fine, i guess. You?” even though I didnt like him very much, you tried to be nice so I didnt seem like a giant asshole. 

“Good, you know, gettin them A’s what can I say. I’m probably the smartest one in that class” he said with a rude tone. 

I breathed heavily. Doesnt he never go to class?? It didn’t matter, really. I dont care what his grades are, I dont care if he goes to class or not. 

He continued the conversation, but took a different approach. 

“You gotta boyfriend?” he smirks. 

“No, do YOU have a girlfriend?” I ask back in the same tone he asked me. 

“Oh hell no, I don’t do the girlfriend thing, I only have sex with girls” he smirked again. 

I honestly can’t believe he said that. I didnt really know how to respond to that type of statement. So I just nodded my head. 

A few minutes later after more awkward conversation with him I feel his hand on my thigh. Damn, why did I decide to wear a skirt tonight?? 

I slapped his hand away. “What are you doing??” I whisper. 

“Oh, relax darling, you don’t think I notice the way you look at me when i’m over here, i know ya want me” he whispered back putting his hand back on my thigh. I honestly didnt know I was giving him any signs that I wanted him. I would be lying if I said I wasnt enjoying it. His hand moved up further and his finger tapped my center and found my clit and started running tight circles. I let out a small moan, but not loud enough so anyone heard me. He pulled his hand away and got up whispering in my ear to meet him in my parents room. I was second guessing my decision to actually go and meet him, but, fuck it. I said I was finished eating and I was going to go upstairs for a while. I said goodbye to the Horan’s and quickly ran up the stairs. 

I opened the door and was suddenly pushed up against the wall.

“I know you want me” he whispers putting his lips to my neck. 

I couldnt think of any words at the moment so I let out a moan as a reply. His core was pushing up on your stomach and you could feel the erection in his pants grow bigger. 

“Listen to me, I want you to suck my dick, and you suck it good. Do you understand me?” he says firmly in my ear. I start to back him up and push him down on the bed. I’m not really sure why were are in my parents room, but I didnt care. It’s not like they are going to come in here while there is company downstairs. 

I unbottoned his pants and grabbed the hem of his jeans and his boxers and pulled them down together, his dick popped out and landed on his stomach. My mouth watered at the sight of it. You placed your hand on him and started pumping him. 

“Put your mouth on it!” he shouted. I raised my eyebrows at the tone of his voice, but I did as I was told. I took as much of him into my mouth as I could. Taking him out of my mouth to use spit as a lubricant. 

“Fuck” he muttered under his breath. 

I knew he was coming close because he was breathing heavily. I decided to bob my head faster and deeper. I gagged a few times but that wasnt going to stop me. I wanted to be different from all the other girls he was screwing, I wanted to be better and I wanted him leaving here wanting more. 

I looked up at him to find him watching his dick disappear into my mouth. 

“I’m gonna come all over that pretty face. Stop, and come lay down, now.” 

I do as I was told yet again. I layed down on my parents bed as he got on top of me with his dick super close to my face as he was pumping himself a few more times. 

“Are you ready for my cum, Y/N, it’s gonna be all over your face” he says. 

With him saying that last word, I was covered in his cum. Thank god none of it got on the bed sheets. 

“Y/N!” I heard my mom yell from down the stairs. Shit. I didnt want my own mother to see me with Niall Horan’s cum all over my face. I quickly ran into the bathroom and grabbed a fresh towel out of the bathroom closet and wiped your face clean. I hid the towel in the way back of the closet, I’ll come back in here tomorrow so I can throw it with my laundry. 

Once I came out of the bathroom, Niall was gone. Damn. Kinda wanted a goodbye kiss but whatever. It was Niall, what am I thinking? You came of your parents bedroom to see your mother glaring at you. Shit.

 “What were you doing in there and why did Niall just walk downstairs winking at me?”

“I was just in there to go to the bathroom and I don’t know why Niall winked at you, it’s Niall Horan mom” She bought my lie. 

“Im going to bed, goodnight.”

[tumblunni]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tfw u have another game idea AGAIN i think my brain hollowed itself out for more idea space at the expense of everything else like ability to actually create my ideas or ability to remember to eat :P

this kinda isnt a NEW idea, its just something floating around in my brain that ive now got more of a concrete idea for, i guess? playing Oxygen Not Included reminded me of it and made me feel maybe people would actually be interested in it, yknow? and its probably not something i could ACTUALLY make, cos it’d require like.. a lot of my own programming. not really easy to just make in a helpful gamemaker enginey thing like rpgmaker. tho it is an rpg... kinda...?? ehhhh im not feeling very good today, sorry my writing is... bad

ANYWAY WHAT WAS I SAYING

Well the idea I has was for kind of a roguelike tower climbing rpg, like Azure Dreams or Persona 3 The premise would be that there’s a mysterious underground civilization, trapped for generations with no memory of the surface world. Between them and sunlight is this potentially-infinate magical labyrinth that nobody has managed to make it through. (At least as far as anyone knows. Everyone wants to believe that friends who dissappeared in the labyrinth actually made it to the other side, rather than.. well.. the other side.) So the game would be about tackling this labyrinth in multiple short sessions. My favourite genre: roguelikes that actually have some form of progression in them! Even though you’re dying a lot, you retain a small amount of what you gathered each time in the form of townbuilding progressyness and ~friendship routes~ and ~ETCETERA~!

But then after playing Oxygen Not Included I kinda have a burning desire to see a game that has the good bits of that and not the... Frustration. To say its a roguelike without progression is understating it, gahhhhhhhhhh! Roguelike sim game of 8 hour game sessions that get destroyed cos of one stupid mistake and you have to be all perfect and lucky and YOURE ALWAYS STARVING and gahhhhhhhhh THIS IS MEANT TO BE MY GAME IDEA NOT VENTING ABOUT THAT GAME Anyway I was thinking how it’d be really cool if a game like that actually DID have a sense of progression. And an actual end goal. Like.. if you were actually digging towards the surface! With periodic savepoints and characters that dont die so easily and have more personality to them and you get all attatched! I already got all attatched to my dumb sim characters and then just got really upset how they kept dying and the game seemed to not give a shit :P

But yeah its not like I can just completely copy that game, lol. Even if I wanted to, I dunno how to program a simulation type engine thing from scratch! So i was thinking like.. a regular roguelike randomized dungeon generator actually IS possible in Rpgmaker, so I dunno.. I could find a way to make that work with some kind of ‘you are actually creating the dungeon’ type thing. i really like the idea of being able to dig your own path through the thing and have it permenantly etched there forever. I was thinking it could be an awesome idea if in the postgame you could come back to the now-empty labyrinth after everyone’s escaped to the surface, and be able to walk through it and have a big ol nostalgia trip. One that’d be unique to every player! And like.. maybe even be able to see changes, like it being reclaimed by nature and flowers? And you could upload a dungeon seed for your own personal dungeon, so that other players could play it, and that could be the postgame replay value~!

game name ideas i guess Catacomb Crawl Boundless Down

and I was thinking the protagonists could be two kids and be a grumpy older sibling who’s a jerk to their well-meaning-but-immature lil sib, but loves them deep down, and has to learn a lesson about becoming a more responsible sib, and etc like.. yeah.. basically inspired by over the garden wall i didnt really like that show, and i felt bad about it cos everyone was telling me it was a masterpiece. alas! :P aaanyhoo they’re not very developed yet, except older sib being a bit of a comical greedy coward type of person and lil sib actually being quite wise but always underestimated. Like, they have more common sense than their big sib even though they are a lil naive sometimes cos theyre so optimistic. Both sibs get each other into trouble pretty often, but they balance out perfectly to save each other each time! And lil sib is kind of a pushover who just obeys big sib unquestionably and can never stick up for themself when big sib is being all ‘ugh ur so immature im totally better'. They’re just like... the sort of person who’s so scared of their friends leaving them that they let anyone hurt them as much as they want as long as they stay. Very relateable to Bunni! Also they sorta try and pretend to be the dumb sidekick and class clown. Cos again theyre worried if they disagree or try and stand out too much then their sibling will hate them. Quite often their ‘dumb mistakes’ are actually the older sib’s fault, and they’re stuck like ‘AAAA I CANT TELL THEM TO STOP COS ITD BE OUT OF CHARACTER. I NEED TO BE THE CUTE BABY.’ And its all super complicated cos older sib acts like they resent them for never growing up too, its like.. cant ever win. This whole thing has kinda turned them into an anxious mess deep down. part of big sib’s whole redemption arc would involve them having to realise that their actions arent harmless, and treating such a young child this way actually has a permenant effect. And like... big sib doesnt know how to take care of little sib on their own because they’re immature themself! Being able to admit that instead of trying so hard to be all fake ultra mature and infallible, thats another big character arc. As well as aknowledging that lil sib is indeed growing up and becoming someone intelligent and independant. And realizing that the reason they keep putting them down is so they can try and deny that, and the reason they’re denying it because theyre JEALOUS! Jealous that little sib might have their emotions more alltogether than them, scared that their emotionless facade of perfect big sibness will be broken, and scared that without that they’ll have nothing left. Need to become more comfortable with trusting and relying on your lil sib, need to actually talk to them about this stuff, yo! Ideally I’m gonna try and write it in a way that doesnt make big sib seem like a completely hateable villain. Their backstory is gonna involve being from not exactly the nicest family, and both struggling to escape what they’ve been shaped into. And trying to learn how to take care of each other as a real family, when they have no real frame of reference for what real love looks like. And also climbing a bigass tower to save humanity from being entombed underground, but that’s comparatively easy, lol! But yeah the idea is that big sib kinda absorbed more of their bad parents’s ideals, and like... they love their sibling so utterly and deeply because they just did not know what family love felt like until they came along. And it really REALLY hurts them whenever they realise they’ve been subconciously being neglectful or hateful towards the lil fella, but theyre so distracted by like.. the greed of being free now. And doing anything and everything, drunk on that freedom! And not really being capable yet of caring about other people when they havent even learned how to care about themself. They keep being all decadent and delinquent and it seems like theyre egotistical but still deep down they HATE themself and this is all just like a ‘fake it til you make it’. And its so easy to get caught up and go too far to try and put on this facade, and they feel they cant really vent their real feelings to anyone. Cos they’re super cynical dont trust anyone except sibling loyalty like. Only way to survive! And like... cant talk about it with the sib either, because little kid wouldnt understand, and if they do then that means theyre not little anymore. They dont wanna ruin lil sib’s childish innocence cos like.. that innocence is their only reason to live. Innocent stupid bastion of family love, came into their life and gave them the courage to deal with those shitty parents gahhh! And part of them ‘knows’ that the only way to love anyone is to be deluded and innocent. You have to be too stupid to realise that the world is awful and everyone sucks and loving people just gets you hurt! And big sib is toooootally smart cos they know that life is meaningless. But they’re entertained by seeing a stupid person stupidly believe in optimism. Totally. Thats the only reason they wanna protect that innocence. Totally. sooooo basically imagine a very mentally ill mess of a preteen that’s curled up in the corner crying perpetually within their own mind, while on the outside they’re all HA HA I’M AMAZING, BITCHES And also imagine that bunni is able to write good enough to explain these damn characters aaaa im very tired im sorry

anyway summary: protagonist is a jerk, Character Development: The Game, you will cry for little sib whom is basically like penny from inspector gadget also I was thinking maybe this could be the one and only time I do the Amnesiac Protagonist Cliche Setup. eeeexcept not really?? well i mean I think it’d work cool if these characters were new to this setting, but I wouldnt actually do 100% amnesia thing I was thinking more like... they are the only two people who came from the outside world. And they just can’t remember how they got here, they wake up trapped in this place and everyone thinks theyre crazy for talking about being from somewhere aboveground. So you have an even more desperate motivation to escape compared to everyone else! I mean of course everyone wants to return to the surface, but its been so long that no-one remembers what it’s like, and so many attempts have failed that they’ve all given up. So you can act like a beacon of hope and lead the people even though you’re just a child. Like, this is about a morally bankrupt trash protagonist being dragged kicking and screaming into heroism, lol And of course we can have some good ‘ol mystery amnesia reveal type plot thingies! But without having to have a protagonist who’s COMPLETELY clueless, and a game beginning with no direction whatsoever. Its more like a ‘trapped in another world’ story except its the same world just a few thousand miles underground, lol. And revealing how exactly they got there and what they’ve forgotten is gonna be a plot, yes, but also there’s the bigger mystery of what on earth this doom labyrinth is and what caused these poor people to be trapped in it! And what they’ll even find when they finally reach the surface again, will it really be the sort of paradise they’re all hoping for? also many tears for sad dysfunctional tiny family of awkward childrens, ye also (hopefully) fun dungeon gameplays

so yeah bunni is tired and delirious and rambling Thoughts at you dunno if anyone was interested in any of this, but there you go!

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #8- “people are going to be blindsided and i'm people”- Vincent

Holy guacamole I feel terrible. On one end I have four people who decided to work together and on the other end are people they told I wanted out. I am at a bit of a loss here but I always like a challenge! I'm gonna go finish my thinking, see if it sticks, and go then voice it!

wow how am i even still here because of my strong social connections! just 7ish tribals until the end! that's so much...i have no idea what's about to happen over the next few weeks except that people are going to be blindsided and i'm people a big part of my pitch to rizo and chris was that cheatham is a threat and he needs to go...which is why now that we're all together i'm in an alliance with all of them, as well as austin and noah. this six is absolutely not going to stick together but i'm in the middle so when it falls i'm not taking the hit! annmarie and liam are cool as well, so ideally the merge vote is between sara and kyle. for me i would ideally keep kyle bc he seems less likely to try and blow up the game in a way which is bad for me, like i feel like he may help me down the line. so i'm going to try to push for that. however, neither annmarie or liam are worth saving at this time so if either of their names come up i'm going along with it this is the first time i've merged in nearly a year and i'm ready to overplay and flop!

Right now Im in an alliance with...Austin, Noah, Rizo, Vincent, and Cheatham by the name of Bottom Feeders. Tbh its just irony at this poiint I am going to end up working with people I wanted out but hey that's Survivor!

(LATER)

My plan of action is to talk with Kyle, consider having a aide alliance with him and Rizo where we get AM/Sara/Liam out and then have BF target Cheatham and/or Noah or whoever in F8/F7..stay tuned!

(EVEN LATER)

Mark my words, this week is going to expose Austin! He has Liam/AM/Sara wanting him and then Bottom Feeders so no matter how this immunity goes and tribal, he will be seen sketchy to somebody.

Wow, So last week I decided what was going on bc i have the idol. If Gwen knew how to stop talking then maybe i would’ve. ANYWAYS, this week. So I got put in three alliances. Big Time Thrush (which I was already in from pre merge) which consists of Me, Noah, Austin, and Vincent. Then there is Bottom Feeders, consisting of Me, Noah, Austin, Vincent, Rizo, Chris. Basically Rizo and Chris made that bc they are on the bottom. I don’t trust it at all. Finally, the one that i’m actually sticking with, is The Frock Destroyers, which consists of Me, Noah, Liam, Austin, Ann Marie, and Sara.... JK i’m not working with that. There is a secret 4th alliance that is the same as the last one but without Noah. I know Noah is probably reading this. Basically, I don’t like the way he talks to me. Outside of the game, I would LOVE to stay friends with Noah bc i’m sure he is a great person. INSIDE the game however, i do not appreciate when someone tells me to shut up, calls me an idiot, or tells me i’m stupid. That is NOT okay. He never listens to my ideas and he acts like this idol, is his. This idol is mine PERIOD. I was his puppet early on because i was so busy with life shit. But now i’m realizing the way he is treating me/ using me. And revenge is gonna be awesome.

Ugh....this is like trying to choose which puppy is cuter when both are identical!! It doesn't WERK! Fricken the only people I really trust fully is AnnMarie and Liam but we can't get on the same damn page. AnnMarie leans more towards Rizo/Chris/Kyle but I have DEALT with them and I know how they are. And it's been confirmed that Kyle won't split from Rizo...he said it on call that they're tight. I like Kyle...don't get me wrong...but he leaks EVERYTHING (so do I...but that's different, right?) and twists and turns things. Yes, working with OG Thrush is risky AF, but so is working against the idol and with a [new] trio, some of which have ALREADY voted for you. I mean...I've done this before where I completely flip on my old 'tribe' to work with the other side and I've won...so it isn't impossible. I also generally just don't click with the other side (as in Chris/Kyle/Rizo) as well as I do with the noobs....so even if they are tight....I'm either on the bottom of the original Petrel or the original Thrush. Noah fence....but I like Thrush better and would rather lose to them than Petrel. And that's just the way it is!

So we gave Sara immunity, I want to use it as strategy to possibly have her like me again but we will see if it works. As far everything else, Austin wants Kyle/Rizo gone. I dont know where it leaves me in his ideal pecking order but Im not waiting around long enough to ask.

(LATER)

Nah, Im not accepting this. Im not waiting for Rizo to be voted out to make mends either. Im gonna get this Petrel chat going and maybe it is the one thing that can save him and me. Im not putting all my eggs into the Bottom Feeders basket just yet and sure as heck am not a out to welcome myself to the bottom of the barrel so easily

Wow...a lot has happened. My alliance with Cheatham, Noah, and Austin supposedly merged with Chris and Rizo to create a super alliance. Guess how long that lasted? As far as I can tell, Noah is targeting Austin but tried setting it up to ensure Chris and Rizo take the fall, using information I gave him (not necessarily important info, but something which incriminates Chris/Rizo which I only told him). Austin heard about this, of course, because he's just so good at this game and everyone is gravitating towards him. I've been completely honest with him, so hopefully he has been with me. Originally the vote was supposed to be Rizo, with myself, Austin, Cheatham, Liam, AnnMarie, and Sara on board. This is why Rizo got vote against him at the challenge. However, Rizo has never targeted me personally. Comparing that to Noah, who I have heard from multiple sources was hoping that I was going to be voted out last round, voting to ensure this happened, and it was clear to me that Noah was the bigger threat to my game. Additionally, Cheatham told me things about how condescending Noah would be with him, so at that point I felt like I had to change the vote. Cheatham was on board with it, and I told Austin as well. Liam, Sara, and AnnMarie don't know (as far as I know) as of when I wrote this, but I really don't see a reason as to why they'd not want to vote Noah. After this, it's 9. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, just to see how the dynamic is structured to truly figure out whether or not Noah is the best move for me. Liam-AM-Sara are essentially a trio, and they're all good with me bc I voted with them and included them all Chris-Rizo will be an even tighter duo, with Kyle as their auxiliary, and they'll all hate me. However, because I pushed the vote off Rizo (which is evidenced by the fact he got the vote at the challenge), I don't think it's fair to say that I ruined these relationships beyond repair, which I would have if Rizo left. Austin is still the most powerful guy in the room, but he's a powerful guy who fully trusts me. Cheatham has the idol, so keeping him on my good side is essential. To be honest, earlier flushing the idol was my top priority, but now I would not mind if he kept the idol for the rest of the game. Doesn't hurt my game, and as long as Austin is here, why would he take a shot at me? So I think it's fair to say that, based on my current understanding of the dynamic, I am making the best move for my game.

Im gradually realizing Cheatham is the answer. We majorly messed up by not giving him immunity and now I want to talk to him to fix it. Rizo doesnt want me to with fear that it could ruin things but like I cant just sit here and do nothing. He doesnt wanna talk to Austin, Austin doesnt want to talk to him, OG Petrel doesnt want to talk to us, and so really this boils down to us needing to persuade Cheatham. I dont feel right if I dont talk to explain how bad of a decision it was and I'll work to fix it but for now Im just gonna do what Rizo says and wait

Merge !! Wohoo this is where the game starts and I must say I’m playing hard. And it’s starting to backfire. Chris not voting AM out our first Petrel tribal really fucked me because it showed where I lied. I was trying to play both sides and unfortunately it’s biting me in the ass. It’s crazy cuz austin is doing the same thing but it’s working for him. I got last in the challenge because my name is being mentioned and the next target. Austin is clearly the snake and I can’t say I’m mad good for him but he is someone I need out. He mentioned my name to Kyle and with a vote on me already I’m assuming I have 5 votes to my name going into tribal. I know I have Chris and Kyle on board to vote with me. Noah is next to go so he is down to vote with me and I saved Vincent so why wouldn’t he vote me. That leaves 5-5 with cheatham being the swing. I’m trying to convince him that I got his back and I truly do he is a power player With that idol and is a great shield. He is upset he wasent granted immunity by our alliance and that is a valid reason but I don’t want that to cost me my game. Cheatham says he is going to try to take the target off my back but I really want him to vote austin out with Us to make it 6-5 blindside. It would be iconic to get out a big player like austin who is playing a Rob C type of game. It just sucks cuz if I go Kyle and Chris my go too guys are next and austin will steamroll you the end. If it’s my time I played the game how I wanted to play. I’m not going to quit until my torch is snuffed but looking at it now, I have a big uphill battle but if I can pull this off, it goes down in the history books.

(LATER)

Oh shit coming back to you with some great? News. Cheatham and austin came to me stating that they will save me and they want Noah out? Is that what I want? NOPE! Will I do that to stay in the game ? YESSIR! Obviously I want noah to stay cuz he is a shield for me and seems to want to work with me but cheatham says Noah has treated him like shit and austin dislikes him. At this rate I have to lay low and just let austin and cheatham make the move to save me. I’ll tell Chris to vote noah and make sure as much votes go to noah as possible. After noah leaves I can regroup and think of a strategy but tonight the goal is to survive no matter who goes besides Chris and Kyle. I need us 3 to stick together to have a chance. But I might have some life in this game !

Am I a mess for telling Cheatham Bottom Halfs votes in the challenge? Yes. But if it keeps him more likely to want Rizo in then I'll take the consequences

SOOO. OH BOY. I'm in a pretty good alliance with Sara, Liam, cheatham, and Austin. We are all working together against everyone else. I like the comfort, but it's clear that it won't last for long. Apparently Austin is working both sides, and it's just veryyyy frustrating not knowing if there's another plan you're not a part of. I'm doing pretty good developing the trust I have with others, and I'm happy with how I'm doing right now. I want to nap.

So much has happened! So glad that Gwen's elimination went to plan and even ended up unanimous against her, she would've been even more scary in this merge. I've been taking a deliberate backseat in this past challenge because it's messy as fuck & I'd rather everyone else take the heat at the end of the day, I've not heard my name at all & both sides are speaking to me decently regularly so I don't feel in danger at all tonight. I'm hoping the votes to get Rizo eliminated are there because as much as I like the guy he rarely speaks to me & I'm not keeping around people who refuse to speak to me, enjoy ponderosa!

As of now I think the Noah votes over. Noah conveniently is told and only 4 people knew it. So it tells me that Cheatham/Austin probably planned to set us up or something. So now I just want to get Austin to own up to things...which is unlikely

Fuck Kyle lmao chatting shit at tribal with his fake woke bullshit, I'm so over this tribal & I can't wait for it to be over so we can move on and get the rest of this game underway because there's so many more angles I wanna explore & I need the people I know I can't work with on the jury.

9 votes Rizo, 2 votes Austin.