#i cant handle him being gone
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commander-revan · 6 months ago
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Remember that this whole battle has been happening near Mount Fuji, and there's a lot of ties to it and death/rebirth symbolism.
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What are Overhaul's Destruction and Restoration aspects if not Death and Rebirth?
This may be the death of Tomura Shigaraki and his desire for destruction, but I truly don't think Tenko is dead. Hell, I think most of the LOV having these fakeout deaths, and us being unsure of their status, is also symbolizing the sort of Death/Rebirth that I think is happening here with Tomura.
Tenko as a concept has been around since Horikoshi's first published one-shot back in 2007, and I truly don't think he'd kill Shigaraki like this so unceremoniously. He only had a few pages after destroying AFO and then he was gone, and that really doesn't feel right. There has to be more. I don't trust most shonen mangaka's when it comes to ending their series, but I really don't want to believe Horikoshi would do this with a character he obviously cares about.
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dykedvonte · 29 days ago
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The second fic idea is a what-if scenerio where Jimmy dies in the crash due to and altercation with Curly and how Curly would navigate being Captain once he has to notice the little things and how he and Anya's relationship develop as he adopts an identical view point to hers rather than just keeping the peace.
And maybe i will write it but only time will tell tbh but it's stuck in my brain dome for the time being.
#cause even if it got to Curly snapping and killing Jimmy for the sakes of the crew would you not have that guilt in being responsible for#anothers death espcially with all the responsibility on his shoulder and how he realizes he tried to be reponsible for things and made them#worse like the guilt drives Jimmy insane even if he doesnt admit like imagine Curly who would care so much and wonder if it shouldve#been him not to mention Anya being free from Jimmy but still not his actions and having to navigate still being stuck with the pregnancy an#the shallow feeling because relief doesn't mean happiness like i think shed believe shed be happier that Jimmy cant get to her anymore but#what now that their stuck? That the Captain is faltering and they are stranded for like another 6 months? If they even make it that long?#Like he may be gone but all his damage is still there and thr wounds fresh like its such a good concept i just cant divide my attention lik#that as i am still in college and it is sadly midterms#anyway uhhhh I just really want to write a fic where Curly and Anya can have that hard conversation on how he handled Jimmy constructively#and without him looking like undercooked skirt steak like there would be those moments where it lingers between the monotiny of staying#alive but how would they even address it? what comes first the sorry or the list of why he should be? like Curly places a lot of value on#his use to others and its interesing and subtle and its mostly directed between Jimmy who steers it and Anya who rides along with it#like go the thoughts and ideas i have but not the fuckin time!!!!#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#also daisuke and swansea are there but like i still have to think of the reflections they have and how to play with their characters in thi#idea world but yeah I want Curly to make amends and Anya to rediscover her autonomy and living outside that fear.
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acourtofquestions · 1 month ago
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“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#no spoilers please first read to read along with me#more notes quotes annotations & reacts in the tags spoilers for the chapter & book in post & tags of course pt 2 of 4 perspectives#Lorcan had never felt the weight of the hours so heavily upon him-I FEEL IT 2poor Rowan must feel this 247HURRY where’s Elide?hold on Aelin!#And to send Elide into Maeve's clutches--it had taken all of his will to let her walk away.😭#If Elide was captured if she was found out he wouldn't hear of it know of it. — you’d know cause she’s your mate idiot (I love you idiot#without proving their worth they could still visit--briefly. — ugh Maeve why does everything about you suck so much#If she emerged. — COME ON ELIDE — I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER CAIRN-NAPPING#the Prince of the North and the Lion the protector and the ever impatient in love idiot we all love Lorcan#He knew some of them. Had commanded them. Were they now his enemy? — they are all having some inner morality battles#What manner of birds? Raptors mostly — none from the House of Whitethorn — they fought for him on the other borders… for her🥹😭them#why so many guards if no Aelin hmm???? SHES HERE GUYS#though Gavriel kept glancing to the tattoos inked on his hands. How many more lives would he need to add before they were through?#Aelin had been trained to endure torture. Elide... He could see those scars on her from the shackles. — how about we save them both?😭🖤#She had endured too much suffering and terror already. He couldn't allow her to face another heartbeat of it--#Rowan and his random hatchet now😅😂 it’s giving my wife is gone unhinged in the woods with the bros might become a horror movie vibes#But then a two-note whistle echoed and Lorcan's legs wobbled so violently he sat back onto the rock where he'd been perched-OH MY ELORCAN😭🖤#also Lorcan… perched??? isn’t that bird boy Rowan’s thing?😅😂🤣#her cheeks rosy in the cool night air. — cheeks pink in the twinkling lights tell me bout the first time you saw me (shipping in insanity)#She was fine. She was unhurt. There was no enemy on her tail. Elide's eyes met his. Wary and uncertain. I met someone.#THANK GOD — but also wait WHAT-when?WHO?HOW?#also this quote posted is like one of the reasons I love Elide#another grand Maasverse enterance is on its way?#the fact the opening line shows that being sold out to Maeve is the same as death — OH GET TO AELIN ALREADY PLEASE#no more tattoos guys — what’s with Maeve’s wolves — isn’t dark haired beauty what Elide called the girl in the caravan so maybe it’s her
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ozlices · 2 years ago
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WAIT STOP SHUT UP IM REWATCHING THE FINAL TOTK TRAILER AND REALIZING HOW LIKE... GENUINELY BEAUTIFUL IT IS THAT LINK GETS TO FIGHT W THE DESCENDANTS ON NUMEROUS OCCASIONS... HE SPENT THE ENTIRETY OF BOTW ALL BY HIMSELF... ALL ALONE... HE WAS PROBABLY SO LONELY... AND ONCE HE GOT HIS MEMORIES BACK HE PROBABLY FELT SO MUCH GUILT AND REGRET OVER NOT BEING ABLE TO FIGHT WITH THE CHAMPIONS TO SAVE THEM... BUT NOW HE GETS TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE THE DESCENDANTS AND JUST THE CITIZENS OF THE KINGDOM IN GENERAL.... AND PROTECT THEM.... IM ACTUALLY GOING TO FULL ON SOB... THE WAY THEY LITERALLY SAY ‘YOU ARE NOT ALONE’ IN THE TRAILER.... I WONT MAKE IT THROUGH THAT CUTSCENE WITHOUT BEING A COMPLETE WRECK I SWEAR
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ninawolv3rina · 2 months ago
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Linc Potter you odd little man. I think I don't hate him as much this time around.
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silhouettecrow · 1 year ago
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 209
Adjective: Voracious
Noun: Churchyard
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Voracious: wanting or devouring great quantities of food; having a very eager approach to an activity
Churchyard: an enclosed area surrounding a church, especially as used for burials
#so a coworker of mine that ive been having quite a few various issues with the past few months seemingly got fired today#(i cant confirm he was fired but between the phrasing of his departure email and him not putting in a two weeks it seems like he was fired)#and it honestly feels like a massive weight has been lifted off of my chest#(despite knowing we still have a long way to go in terms of inclusivity as a whole organisation but im hopeful to make changes with that)#cos i know that our clients (at least legally) are going to be getting the best help possible between me and our other legal advocate#and im hoping that now that his (honestly) oppressive energy is gone the environment at the office will be much nicer to work in#im just worried about potentially getting overwhelmed or incredibly busy cos ill have to take his existing clients#and any new ones needing help in my specific service areas cos im now the only person serving these areas#but ill handle that if it happens#i just feel like i can breathe and that ill feel a lot more comfortable being myself at work#also our supervisor has been out all week while being on vacation so she is gonna come back on monday to a real big surprise#anyway sorry for the rant#but these prompts are lowkey my diary so kind of not sorry#anyhoo back to our regularly scheduled programming#the prompt gives the feeling of the 'churchyard' (whether the church or the cemetery) pulling people or souls or corpses in to feed on#and for me there is the added theme or element of abuse through the word 'churchyard' reminding me of the song of the same name by aurora#there is just a lot to play around with here#definitely more than there appears to be on the surface#aurora#aurora aksnes#aurora music#infections of a different kind#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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wheresmulder · 2 years ago
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Having a.. bad time
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frostbite-the-bat · 2 years ago
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do you ever randomly get like. paranoid ? about your computer
yea
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kanalaure · 4 months ago
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i think about this literally all the time. feanor is a singularity, and he would have been a singularity even if he HADN'T been brilliant. he literally was set apart from his first moments, and then again when his father bartered his happiness for his own*
there's one thing where i don't quite agree, and it's that he probably isn't the first elf to ever lose someone and see their body? because middle earth is dangerous-- there's wild animals like boar, and high places and deep waters, plants that they had to discover if were safe to consume or not...... any number of things that could kill you either passively or intentionally. the elves agreed to go to aman even after melkor was chained. but i also find it really likely that those who had accident-driven deaths were let out of mandos, maybe even following the arrivals of the vanyar, noldor, and teleri. and miriel........
but even beyond that, miriel's death is set apart because they don't actually know what happened. there's a body (like the ones who had an accident), but they aren't entirely sure what happened to cause that (more like the ones lost to the dark rider and never returned or emerged from the halls of mandos. also: your periodic reminder that the narrator is not unbiased, and may in fact be guessing or repeating a common conclusion). on top of that she is refusing to come out, and it makes them nervous. this place is supposed to be perfect, it's supposed to be safe. so they need to find a cause, and they decide that feanor is it (no wonder he spent so much of his life away from tirion wandering. i wouldn't want to be there either) so they can pretend nothing's wrong and it can never happen again
(and, well. it DIDN'T happen again. so maybe it really was that miriel put too much of herself into the making of feanor and was exhausted enough to need sleep unburdened by a body that needs things that'd interrupt rest and then spent the next however many years being bothered by people who wanted to know 'are you coming out now?' until she went 'never. fuck off and let me rest.' but its still a horrible thing to make a CHILD shoulder)
and then, to top that off, the first provably premeditated violent death (ever) was finwe. feanor's father, his only parent, slaughtered in his front hall. following that, namo refused to release him, making feanor the first orphan in aman with no hope of reuniting with his parents.** no damn wonder he lost it
sometimes I think about how things went down in valinor and it’s no wonder that fëanor was Like That TM. like imagine you’re fëanor. You live in the equivalent of paradise, the so-called undying lands and everything is supposed to be perfect.
“oh yeah all the elves are immortal and they don’t really die. and anyway this is the safest place in the world so what could possibly happen? all elves are immortal and nobody has ever died. oh except for miriel þerindë, fëanor’s mother. yeah, no one knows why she died. she died giving birth to fëanor. yeah, it’s a mystery to everyone.”
“oh yeah elves never remarry. we only marry one person our whole lives. oh except the high king of the noldor, finwë, fëanor’s father. yeah, he wanted more kids so he remarried his old wife’s friend. yeah, the valar let it happen. Each to their own I guess.”
Like this guy spent his entire life being the exception to fundamental conceptions widely accepted by everyone around him. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that elves don’t die—except fëanor’s mother. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that elves don’t remarry—except fëanor’s father.
How do you deal with the grief of losing your mother when no one around you has really experienced loss? Like yes the elves from cuiviénen have but that wasn’t really the same thing; the elves melkor abducted from cuiviénen just kind of disappeared—can that really be called death for someone (elves) who have no concept of death and loss except for this? how do you cope with being the only elf in literally your entire world who has experienced the loss and death of someone close? How do you deal with a feeling so complex and harrowing when no one can relate to your experience at all? When no one can feel what you’re feeling? When no one has before?
Like congrats! You are officially the first elf ever to experience the death of a loved one! You are the pioneer for grief! The prototype! No one can really help you through it because they don’t understand losing a mother. like how do you even begin deal with that?
apparently you don’t. fëanor clearly didn’t. but like is it any wonder why
and then on top of that! How do you deal with your father being the only other exception in the entire continent? Elves don’t remarry and no one else ever has, no one else does, but it’s fine when your father does it? and you’re supposed to be perfectly okay with that? With your father having more kids with a different wife and not feeling like he’s replacing you? And again! How do you deal with all of these complicated feelings that come along with it when no one around you has experienced something similar? how do you cope with being the only elf in literally your entire world who has to adapt to these circumstances? How do you deal with a feeling so complex and harrowing when no one can relate to your experience at all? When no one can feel what you’re feeling? When no one has before? Especially on top of whatever you’re feeling wrt the grief of losing your mother?
and then when melkor Does his Thing, literally the first elf ever to be killed in the entire world they know in valinor is fëanor’s beloved father. valinor is supposed to be a safe haven where the elves are the safest they can ever be because this place is the ultimate safe and beautiful place. There is no danger here—except there is. No elf has ever been killed (as in being stabbed and bleeding to death and leaving a body behind)—except finwë, fëanor’s father. How do you deal with the grief of loss that’s so different and at the same time so similar to the one you didn’t know how to deal with before? What do you do?
you’re already the single elf to have experienced the grief of losing a mother. you’re already the exception to everybody’s rule. you were promised that this place was unfailingly perfect and safe and yet you’re not safe. Why isn’t it as safe as you were promised it’d be? Why is it your dad that dies? Why isn’t anyone else? How is that fair?
like yeah, no wonder fëanor was Like ThatTM
#*this isn't an argument or a question. finwe had a living child he permanently separated from his mother for the prospect of more kids#we can sit here and say how much we love nolofinwe or arafinwe and their families or findis and lalwen all we like#and you know what? i like them too! some of them i really love. but they were /theoretical/ at the time they were all debating this#but finwe HAD a child. and he made a choice that ensured that child would be set apart forever because he decided that feanor wasnt enough#finwe is a very fascinating character but i cant altogether say that i /like/ him or think he was a good father. good grandfather? sure#but i think he was actively awful at making decisions about his kids that didn't hurt at least one of them in the process#**the thing that really kills me is that finwe decided to stay in the halls so feanor could have his mother. this clearly wasnt communicate#to him and is honestly the living definition of 'too little too late' bc feanor has already gone mad and i dont know that seeing her could#have helped him or prevented everything that came after finwe's murder. that was *centuries* of trauma bursting out like a lava flow#and yknow. feanor gets a lot of flack for being awful to indis but like. no one had ever had a stepparent before. feanor wasnt consulted#he grows up knowing he will never meet his mother unless he also dies because his father (who wants more kids) got married to someone else#but like. is he supposed to hate finwe? his only living parent? so the full force of that lands on her (and nolo eventually)#not very nice but honestly really understandable. there are real children in our world who handle things that poorly and theyre not even th#first ones going through that situation. and honestly it is such a batshit decision to make a decision that you know will permanently#inhibit someone else from changing their circumstance until the literal end of time#sorry about the wall of tags. like i said i think about this all the time#silmarillion#feanor#finwe#miriel therinde#silm meta
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applyjuicee · 2 years ago
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hey Google what does it mean if the person you like barely speaks to you but asked you to be a reference for a job and wears the bracelet you made them? asking for a friend of course
#anyway#fml heres a long detailed explanation in the tags because the notes app is Not Cutting It anymore#basically im a stage manager in college and my school has us work on dept productions and we can work on student projects outside work etc#the guy i like does lighting and sound for the program#so we were working on a show together this semester and i dropped it because the director was being Extremely Unreasonable#and i could not communicate with her At All#but he did not drop the show because he was just doing sound design for a musical#so for the past month or so i have been Actively Avoiding the show he is working on because it was emotionally scarring and i cant be there#but that also means that i have a different perspective about the show than he does#so when we talk about the show theres a little bit of disconnect about How we are talking about it#and thats pretty all consuming in terms of we go to school for theatre and this is The Show that is being put on so everyone talks about it#but its way more upsetting for me than it is for him#in a managable way and i can def handle talking about it in most environments#but that show just closed and now we're in finals and we're taking a generals class together and i asked if he wanted to take#the practice final together and he said yes so we went to go do it and he 1 did not talk and 2 finished way faster than me and left#i know hes busy but hello?????#and now we're working on a student show together as equal members of the design team (me scenic him lighting)#and the job he asked me to be a reference for hired him and he won't even be at the performances of the show#because of that job and he'll be gone most of the summer and wont have much cell service#and neither of us are really texters anyway#and also we're working on another dept production in the fall but im his stage manager which is a little bit of a power dynamic#also im a senior and hes a sophomore so that adds a little to the concept of me having more power in the context of at least our#professional relationship if not our personal relationship#but if we're working on shows together and taking classes together and i have to see him every goddamn day ill lose my mind#but if i say something and he says he feels the same and then he fucks off for the summer i will also lose my mind#so i have decided not to say anything until he comes back and or hope that it fades and there wont be anything to say#but he messaged our discord tonight to see if anyone wanted to play games at fuckin 10:30 at night#and a few people said yeah so we went to a park and he barely acknowledge me all night#he didnt make any jokes about how i cant catch a football and i cant hit a volleyball and i cant breathe well enough to run#all of which he can do and he played football in high school and i was on the fucking yearbook committee
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enigmaris · 1 month ago
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Reading a lot of DPxDC fics lately, heres my take on the Danny is Damian's twin AU:
Danny was injured to near death and left for dead by the League as a young boy. Ra's only wanted one heir and Danny was less bloodthirsty than Damian, so it was decided that Danny had to go.
Danny is found and taken to a hospital in Illinois, barely alive. He is saved and wakes up with basically no memories of where he was from and speaking a rare dialect of arabic that none of the cops investigating his case can identify. What words Danny does know in english are concerning so the cops figure Danny was being held by some sort of murder, death cult.
The investigation runs cold and Danny is sent to foster care once his injuries heal. He is then adopted by the fentons and moves to Amity Park. As he grows the only clear memories he has of his past is another boy his age who he felt safe with. He knows the other boy is important to him but not why. He cant even really remember his face, certainly not his name. Danny always felt shitty that he couldnt remember the other boy because if he did, then the cops would have rescued him from the murder death cult too. Instead the other boy is presumably there and getting hurt all the time like Danny was.
Danny gets his powers like normal at 14 and decides that now that he has superpowers he absolutely has to save that other boy. Sam and Tucker help him gather clues, he starts to remember a bit more. He remembers the word ahki and realizes that the other boy is his brother!! Which just really enhances Dannys need to save him from the murder death cult. Eventually Tucker finds a picture of Damian Wayne and Danny is like thats him. Thats my brother.
Wait.
Bruce Wayne is his brothers dad???
Bruce Wayne is a rich fruitloop like Vlad obviously, so he is probably a member of the murder cult. Danny has to rescue his brother from the illuminati.
Cue Sam going to a socialite dinner in gotham much to her parents delight. Getting close to Damian by talking about animal rights, slipping him some sleeping pills in his vegan food. Tucker hacking into the gala and causing a commotion. Danny lugging an unconscious Damian out of the Gala and into the GAV ( no, his parents dont know why he borrowed the car or where he is).
Damian wakes up and immediately tries to attack Danny thinking hes a clone. Danny is like woah shit no its me! Its your brother. Damian is like Danyal is dead. Danny is like obviously not. Now chill out im rescuing you from the cult.
Damian, who has been secrectly mourning his twin for years, has never heard anyone call the League of Assassins a cult. He has to reevaluate a lot of things while Danny drives the GAV out of Gotham as fast as he can. Danny explains his whole backstory and how he is sorry he didnt come to save Damian earlier, his memories were gone but he had never forgotten how important Damian was to him. Damian doesnt do emotions on a good day and is unable to handle that like a normal person.
"Father isnt part of the cult, Danyal."
"Hes a billionaire from Gotham, of course he is!"
Damian who has fought many rich people from gotham, all of whom were evil, tries to find an explanation that isnt 'our dad is batman'. Danny isnt listening to any of it, promising Damian that he will be safe from the murder cult in Amity.
Damian eventually gets out that their mother was in the cult and their father didn't know about them. Danny pulls the GAV over and looks at Damian.
"Did i just kidnap you for no reason?"
"It was a kind gesture at least Danyal."
"Fuck. I just kidnapped bruce wayne's kid in the middle of a gala, am i super villain now?"
"Not if you take me home. Father will understand Danyal."
"I dont want to go to jail!"
Damian gives Danny the address to Wayne Manor and Danny drives to Bristol.
When they walk inside Damian now has to explain the whole 'had a dead brother i never told you about' thing to a less than amused batfam.
Danny introduces himself to Bruce and says that he has an adopted family back in illinois, but that he would be happy to get to know Bruce, also sorry about the kidnapping i dont normally do that i thought you were part of the illumimati and i had to rescue my brother.
Bruce just hopes this kid is normal.
(Hint: he's not)
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cosmos-coma · 10 months ago
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My Sun, My Star
A/N: I'm so weak for Winter soldier Bucky. I cant wait to write more of him, I love this sad guilt ridden man.
Pairing: Winter Soldier!Bucky x Reader
Words: 6756
Warnings: Breaking and entering, Minor violence, Injury and Blood, Winter soldier Bucky, GN reader but also Pregnant reader, mild language, I'm not sure if this is fluff or angst or both??
Summary: You wait up late for your boyfriend Bucky to return from his mission, but it isn't Bucky who finds you.
Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue | Bucky Masterlist
Like what I do? Consider buying me a Coffee!
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Your eyes blinked slowly, heavier with each passing second, yet you still managed to open them once again. Glancing at the bright white numbers of the digital clock you watched it change to 1:46 AM, causing a groan to pull from your lips. Bucky was supposed to be back tonight (yesterday technically) from his latest mission, but he still had yet to show up at your shared flat. 
You checked your phone again, the lack of notifications mocking your tired eyes. You let out one more sigh before you turned off the mindless babbling of the TV and stood up to get ready for bed. You were sure Bucky wouldn’t want you waiting up so late in your current condition anyway, he had been harping you about getting enough sleep and water and everything in between.
“I’m only four months pregnant, Bucky. I’m fully capable of staying up late” You had said to him. 
“Five months, Doll, and it’s about your cortisol levels. It’s not good for you or the baby, and it could lead to them being underweight” he said, reciting exactly what the doctor had told him during your last checkup. 
“Four and a half,” you argued as you stuck your tongue out at him, “and she was talking about getting chased by a bear kind of stress, not staying up to watch Bake Off.” 
You snorted at the memory of just earlier that week, a small smile coming to your face as you went through your nightly routine. You continued to check your phone here and there as you went, “Did you get back safe? How’d your mission go?” you had texted two hours ago, yet it still remained unread and unanswered.  
‘Maybe one more quick text wouldn’t hurt,’  you thought to yourself as you typed out the simple message and hit send. 
“Stay safe, okay? I love you.”
You sighed as you set the phone down, “it’s okay, everything is okay,” you assured yourself as you pulled one of his large hoodies over your head, enjoying the way the hem brushed against your bare thighs and the sleeves threatened to swallow your hands. “He’s a former assassin and a super soldier! Nothing is going to happen that he can’t handle,” You stated firmly to your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes remained unsure despite your voice’s conviction, but you did your best to ignore it, focusing instead on the achingly tired look they held. 
“Yes, I know. It’s finally time for bed, little one,” you mumbled sleepily as you felt your baby kick against the walls of your protruding belly, being quick to climb between the layers of blankets and lonesome sheets. “Fuck, that's cold…!” you swore quietly as your bare legs hit the icy fabric- having gone unwarmed by your personal space heater and super soldier.
Thankfully sleep came easily, the thought of waking up to Bucky’s sleepy, scruffy face only further urged your body to wind down so the moment would come sooner. 
----
Bucky’s phone buzzed again in his bag, lighting up with your smiling face as your text displayed on the screen, but nobody reached down to check it, as everyone found themselves in a far more urgent situation. 
“Keep him busy, Rodgers! I just need one more minute!” Tony yelled as he dug through the equipment in the quinjet, “For fuck’s sake, who organized this last?” 
“What do you think I’m doing…!” The blond grunted with a justified hint of frustration,” Sam? Any help??” He shouted with a pointed look, telling more than asking as he struggled to restrain his thrashing friend. A swift metal fist flew toward his already battered face, barely giving him time to duck out of the way and attempt to restrain it again. 
“Honestly? Seems like you’ve got this one,” Sam said, holding up his hands.
“SAM.” 
“I’m coming..! God, can’t either of you old men take a joke?”
No one knew exactly what happened, Bucky had gone off on his own in the Hydra base they were exploring. It was supposed to have been recently abandoned, something about the agents leaving in an urgent rush that left files upon files sitting out in the open. It was supposed to be a simple mission; everyone goes off in teams, gathers what they can, and makes sure there are no surprises. But Bucky assured them that he would be fine to go on his own, he hadn’t had a sign of relapse in over a year, and he would only be picking up what looked important. A simple job.
He should’ve listened. 
It was when he didn’t return to the jet with the rest of them that they started to get worried. 
“So, where’s the Manchurian candidate?” Tony jested, looking at his watch. They were supposed to leave maybe 10 minutes ago, not terribly late by any means, but enough to start getting worried about Bucky’s quietness over the coms.  
“Man, come on.. ” Sam sighed at Tony’s joke as he crossed his arms. 
“Bucky?” Steve tried calling over the coms, ignoring both of his teammates, but the line remained all too quiet. 
They found him finally in the basement level of the office building, old discarded computers lining the walls along with cabinets upon cabinets of old files and other equipment. He hadn’t even realized it was a trap until he stepped right into it, triggering a switch that had the computers and hidden speakers flashing images and sounds that assaulted his senses with fragmented memories long forgotten. 
He should have listened. 
Sam had found him first, on his knees in the middle of the floor with hands desperately covering his ears, trying to block out the incessant noise. Hauling his teammate to his feet, he rushed back to the jet, calling everyone off from their search before anything else could be sprung. 
At first, they thought he might be fine- quiet, but fine. He had given them a small smile and a wave of his hand as everyone tried to check in with him, taking a seat as the jet took off to go home. It had all seemed relatively normal until they were halfway back and the unseen battle inside him must have taken a turn. 
“Got it!” Tony yelled as he pulled out the dart gun, aiming quickly as he fired two shots into Bucky’s chest, readying a third as he waited and watched for the tranquilizers to finally take effect. It was slow as Bucky continued to struggle against the drug’s drain, his body and mind turning into slow-moving molasses. Low grunts emanated from his throat as the last of his strength ebbed away, leaving nothing but forced sleep in its wake. 
“Was two really necessary?” Steve asked as his shoulders finally relaxed, the strain and worry now temporarily over. 
Together they dragged the drugged-up assassin into the jet’s small quarantine area for the remainder of the trip, satisfied only when they heard the mechanical locks slide into place. It wasn’t much, and they knew that and if he really wanted to there would be no stopping him from getting out, but it was something- enough to give them a few seconds of preparation if nothing else.  
“I’m not giving a super soldier only a single dose, you two metabolize things like this way too fast and I’m not taking any chances with the Tin man over there.”
Bucky- no, the Winter Soldier, seemed to still be out of it when they finally landed, sat up and leaning against the wall, head slumped forward just as they had left him. 
“Alright, let's just get him into one of the holding rooms for the night. We’ll work on resetting him-” Tony lifted his hands as the two men glared in his direction, “- on ‘fixing him up’ as soon as he’s been secured.” 
Sam shook his head as Tony corrected himself, taking notice of the lit-up phone in Bucky’s bag, buzzing with an only recently delivered message. Sam had quickly become one of your closest friends after you were introduced to the team. He was one of the few people Bucky trusted with his life and between his sarcastic jokes, his incredibly loyal nature, and his willingness to give Bucky shit whenever he deserved it, you knew very quickly how great a friend he would be. 
But now his stomach twisted as he saw your name flash across the screen, the alert quickly minimizing itself as it joined the other messages you had sent that night. How was he gonna break this to you? The last thing you needed was a bunch of unnecessary stress on your shoulders, but it’s obvious you were beginning to worry over their late return. Sliding the phone back into its rightful place Sam told himself that he’d call you once they had things more figured out.
“Heart rate still seems to be resting. With any luck, he’ll remain knocked out until we get inside,” Tony relayed as he monitored the Soldier’s vitals and pressed the button to open the heavy quarantine doors.
The doors slid into their resting positions with a soft click. 
As soon as that click landed on sensitive ears, vibrant blue eyes shot open. Sparing not even a second, the Winter Soldier surged forward from his seat, not nearly as far gone as he left them to believe. With the element of surprise, the Soldier easily knocked past his teammates, throwing his body weight against them and knocking Sam and Steve off balance, leaving him a good headstart as he dashed out the jet’s open door.
“Fuck, Bucky- Wait!,” Steve swore as he stumbled out behind him, having to use his super soldier speed just to keep pace. But between the settled darkness of the night, and the winding alleyways the brunette stuck to, Steve was left falling behind in no time. “Shit,” Steve swore as he slowed to a stop, looking around for any sign of his compromised friend. 
However, the streets lay barren, the fluttering of moths in the streetlights the only sign of life on the entire block.
---
The heavy thud of his boots echoed against the alleyway’s pavement. He wasn't sure where exactly he was headed as his silhouette slunk between the warm light of the streetlamps, but part of him- a currently repressed part of him- knew that safety was bound to be just ahead. 
His heart beat smoothly as he kept his pace, every other step falling in time as he rounded the corner. Blindly, he let himself be led by instinct and his feet maneuvered the city’s countless paths with a mind of their own. They slowed before a little apartment building and as those emotionless eyes looked up, he knew this was it.
The lateness of the hour had almost assured that no one was around as he slipped inside, footsteps padding up the stairs before stopping at the third floor. His heavy boots left nothing but wet prints in their wake as he wandered down the hall, impossibly silent, as even the notoriously creaky boards dared not announce his presence. 
The closer he got, the more the back of his mind itched, as if something- someone- was begging him not to go any further, but he refused to listen; he knew this was where he was meant to be and where he would find what his body was so inexplicably drawn to.
With each step his head turned on a swivel, looking for the sense of safety and familiarity that the other half of him seemed to find here- and desperately wished he wouldn’t discover. Just as his foot was about to take another step he stopped. ‘No. Here.’ His gut told him, turning to the door. 
His door.
Your door.
The former assassin bypassed the lock with ease, quickly slipping in before shutting the door behind him. A dim light illuminated the living room, the little lamp you left on for him casting its orange glow over his surroundings as he surveyed them.
A few mugs stand beside the sink, framed photos dot the wall and side tables, and a veritable nest of blankets lay across the couch. It was obvious someone had been here, and recently. A deep breath pulled into his lungs, causing his head to tilt to the side in contemplation as an unfamiliar scent hit his nose, something just as earthy as it was sweet and speckled with distant notes of… him?
“Hmmph”  
His sensitive ears picked up the soft grunt from down the hall immediately. His shoulders squared and tensed as his body leaned into a defensive position. Cautious fingers pulled the knife from his boot, ready for whatever may come at him as he approached. 
The sounds of soft breaths lead him to a door left ajar. Light just slipped past the curtains into the darkened room. Badum… Badum… Badum… a heartbeat pulsed in his ears as he took a step closer, leaving the door open and letting further light fall onto the source of the noise. 
His wolfish gaze ran down your form as you lay there on your back, swallowed in the extra fabric of the old sweatshirt. Your hand rested casually over your stomach as your other one squished gently against your cheek. Your legs lay bare to the world after having kicked the overbearing sheets away, leaving just a glance of your underwear for him to take in.  
“Mmph” You grunted again as you shifted, your face now turned to him as that earthy scent of yours gripped him like a vice and refused to let go.
Your sweet sleep became interrupted though- much to his dismay- as the phone on your nightstand began to light up and buzz incessantly. Still, as a statue he watched as you groaned, propping yourself up on your elbows as you went to check what your device could possibly want at this ungodly hour. 
With one loose fist, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes away, blinking consciousness back into them until you saw Bucky’s illuminated figure before you, standing tall and quiet as he watched you intently. 
“Bucky..?” You couldn’t hide the grin that spread across your face as you saw the familiar face of your lover lit up by the bright light of your phone screen. But the longer you looked the more you noticed.
His eyes were all wrong, his gaze was devoid, that’s the only way you could put it. Devoid of meaning and humanity, it seemed every gaze- every movement- was a means to an end. Empty… save for a flicker of fear; It was probably the only thing in those eyes right now that registered as human. The fear of someone who was lost, unknowing of their purpose, and confused as to why your gaze was made his cold heart falter.
His expression was flat and stoic, save for the knit of confusion that pulled his brows together. His stance was tense and prepared, the discrete knife still glittering in his hands as he took another step forward, his head slowly shaking in response to your question. 
A gasp caught in your throat as you finally understood. Glancing at your phone you saw it was Sam who was calling, undoubtedly trying to tell you what you now already knew.
“Soldat…” You whispered, trying to hide the way his name sent shivers across your skin. Your phone went black then, as you didn’t pick up in time and you were left blind by the sudden darkness.
 You and Bucky had talked about what to do if you found him like this, “You call Sam and Steve, Okay? You find a place to hide and you stay far away, no matter what you hear. There’s no reasoning with him,” He had told you.
So much for that
Your phone lit up again with Sam’s urgent call, its revealing light sending ice down your spine as you saw the man nearly standing over you now, just a hair’s breadth away.
Your hand rose slowly, shaking as you tested a reach for your phone, stopping dead in your tracks as he let out a disapproving grunt. Your head nodded slowly as you gulped, returning your hand to your stomach as you watched his gaze finally shift away. 
With unbothered calmness, he looked toward your phone to see Sam’s face and name scrawled across your screen. Wordlessly he reached over and pressed the ‘decline call’ button, cutting the call short and leaving you two in perfect silence once more. 
Panic began to rise in your throat as his gaze turned back toward you, darkened now only by the lack of light. With slow movements the Winter Soldier reached out, putting the knife away as he crouched down, as if trying to attract a skittish animal. 
Your whole body tensed as his reach came closer, eyes screwing shut as you waited for the worst, “Please… Just don’t hurt her…” You whispered, fear and desperation rattling your voice, just as it did your anxiety-filled body. 
But the pain never came. Instead, the cool touch of metal fingers ran down your cheek, barely denting your flesh as he relished in its softness. Your eyes peeked open cautiously, as his fingers moved along the slope of your jaw, tilting your head up as he came to your chin. 
His eyes had changed, you noticed, instead of being a harsh blizzard, they had now settled into something more human, something warmer and… yearning? 
“Soldat..?” You questioned as you watched his lips part, his senses focused only on the way your body reacted to his touch. You were sure he could hear the rapid pattering of your heart beneath your ribs, its pace only increasing as his fingers moved down your neck and to the exposed collarbone in your loose neckline.
“Красивый [Beautiful]...,” was all he could reply. It came out so soft you weren’t sure you heard it at first, it’s quiet reverence meant for your ears and your ears only. “Из-за тебя он чувствует себя здесь в безопасности...? Замки дерьмовые, видимость слишком высокая, но ты… [Are you why he feels safe here…? The locks are shit, the visibility is too high, but you…]” He continued, quiet and unbothered as if he assumed you couldn’t understand him. 
“He’s been bugging me to get better locks all week…” you replied with a huff, quickly shutting up as his stare found your eyes again. Between Bucky’s ramblings in the night and Natasha’s tendency to only gossip in Russian, you had made an effort to learn it; You were still learning, and your pronunciation was shit, but your understanding had gotten far better. 
“And you have a good ear…” He spoke in English this time, the vague hint of an amused smile pulling at the assassin’s stern lips. You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d ever done that before. If that odd little smile had been seen by anyone else- anyone still living that is.
A breath of relief left you as your lips stretched to mimic his, the tension easing out of your body a little by little.
His metallic touch continued to linger, running down your covered chest until it settled on the waistband of your underwear, the cool metal trailing across your ticklish skin. 
“Ah, wait, Sol-” You jumped at his touch, grabbing his wrist, despite knowing you wouldn’t have the strength to stop him if it’s what he wanted.
But instead of dipping his fingers lower, he simply tugged the oversized hoodie up, gathering it over your chest and exposing the firm baby bump concealed below. His head tilted to the side as he listened to the tiny heartbeat that fluttered in your belly as well as the thuds of its little movements against your skin. Slowly, still with that inkling of a smile, he turned to look at you, his hand hovering just above your vulnerable midsection as if awaiting permission. 
Heat rose to your cheeks as you hesitated. On one hand, you felt a surprising amount of calm under the assassin's touch, his need for your approval only increasing your sense of security. But on the other hand, Bucky would never be able to live with himself if something happened to you or the baby, accident or not. 
“Oh. I-” 
CRASH.
You nearly jumped out of your skin as were cut short by the loud noise. The door to your apartment slammed open, surely breaking the hinges with the sheer force of it. Over a dozen heavy boots stormed into your apartment as the lights turned on, flooding your senses and forcing the Soldier’s attention elsewhere. 
Your hand found his instantly, the heat of his calloused skin a comfort to you just the way Bucky’s was, especially as it squeezed around yours just the same. Sitting up properly now your sweatshirt swallowed your pregnant form once again and you peeked out to see just what was going on. 
Through The Winter Soldier’s defensive stance in front of you, his knife is now drawn once more, you watched a small armed group, covered in black tactical gear raid your home, all guns pointing towards you- or more accurately- the former assassin attempting to shield you. You recognized the symbols on their vests as the team’s secondary security force, having even met a few of them over the years. But where was the rest of the team? Where was Sam, and Steve, and Tony?
“Step away from the civilian!” “Put your hands in the air!” “Sir, drop the knife!” They all shouted, overlapping with each other as each of them rushed out their demands. 
“Don't shoot! It’s okay! It’s okay!” You rushed.
You tried to slip your hand from his, but he only held fast, “Soldat, please… It’s okay, just do what they say… They don’t want to hurt us. Please,” You urged, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, 
His defenses faltered as he listened to you beg him to stand down. It wasn’t the usual begging he heard in his line of work, and coming from your lips had his walls cracking in an unprecedented way. 
He shouldn’t have looked back at your eyes, wide and pleading, as they shook his walls further. Moving slowly he turned, kneeling before you despite the way the armed group yelled at him not to. You just held up your hand to them, pleading for them to be as gentle with him as he was with you. 
“Мое солнце [My Sun]...” The warm flesh of his hand came up easily to cradle your face and a small smile pulled at him again as you leaned into his large palm. “Я только что нашел тебя. Я не потеряю тебя снова так быстро[I’ve only just found you. I will not lose you again so quickly]. ”
Your heart both swelled and pained for your Soldier. You looked into his eyes and saw a sense of certainty, a sense of knowing, you hadn’t seen from him earlier. “Oh… my soldier, my star,” Your fingers entwined with the hand holding your cheek, ”You can not lose me in any way that would last…” You whispered to him past the shouts, the commotion, and the tension, like you were the only two in the room. 
“Sir, put the knife down!” A young squad member called again, his voice far more concerned than his superiors. You didn’t recognize him or his number and you figured he must’ve been new. His gun trembled in his hands as he shouted again, but as the Soldier failed to move and the kid’s finger unexpectedly twitched, there came a sudden- 
BANG.
“Ah-!” Your face twisted with pain as you pulled away, “Fuck…!” Your hands instinctively grabbed your leg, clamping over the shooting pain in your calf that hit you- well- like a bullet. 
You winced again as you pulled one of your hands back, the raw skin of your leg angrily letting you know that it did not like being brushed against. Warm, wet crimson covered your fingers as you looked down, becoming slightly dizzy at how much had already covered your palm. You were thankful it only seemed to be a graze, but the burn you already felt and knowing you were losing blood had your stomach lurching in uncomfortable ways. 
Concern painted the assassin’s expression as you recoiled away from his doting touch, but as the unmistakable warm, metallic smell curled into his nose, his expression darkened dramatically. What was once kind, curious blue eyes now saw nothing but red as he caught sight of the wound slashing across your skin. His jaw set firmly, almost audibly grinding his teeth as he stood and turned to the young kid. 
You looked back at the newcomer as you tried to breathe through the pain, the horrified look on his face telling you that he knew he was a dead man walking. His face went ghost white as the super soldier stalked toward him and through even worse trembling hands he raised his gun to shoot again. 
“No…!”
A sickening thud rang out as the bullet hit the assassin square in his good shoulder, getting lodged in the muscly flesh. His shoulder jerked back at the force, but it wouldn’t stop his stride as he closed the gap. Another shot rang out, but with the solid vibranium arm now covering the barrel it did little to help this poor dumb kid. Snatching him by the neck, you watched as your assassin held him up until his feet kicked uselessly in the air. 
Every gun immediately trained on him and with their proximity you knew they wouldn’t miss a fatal shot if it came to it.
“Stop! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot! Soldier, put him down!” You yelled as you maneuvered towards the edge of the bed. “Please, don't shoot, I can fix this!” you continued, trying to convince yourself as much as you convinced them. Familiar voices joined in on your plea as Sam and Steve finally entered the picture, urgently trying to talk down both the Winter Soldier and the secondary security team. 
“Bucky, It’s okay... Just put the kid down, alright?” Steve tried to reason with him, “He’s new, he doesn’t know what he’s doing yet.” Steve tried his best to stay calm and patient, but the young man was beginning to change colors now. “Bucky, put him down before you do something you can’t come back from.” But Bucky’s ears were deaf to the outside pleas and the Winter soldier refused to listen.
“Ah..!” You whimpered as you tried to stand and approach the commotion. The pain in your leg reached new heights as you tried to put weight on it, causing you to tumble to your knees almost immediately. You clutched your belly, hoping the sudden jostle wouldn’t upset the baby too much as you tried to get up again. 
“Hold on, Y/n. Stay down for a minute so we can wrap your leg…” Sam asked of you, moving over to help as soon as he saw the blood on your hands, “You’re losing plenty already.”
“No, I have to…. I can’t let him get hurt,” you argued, pushing away his helpful hands as you tried to stand again. You heard the crashing thud and rushed voices as you shakily got to your feet, leaning all your weight on your good leg. As you looked up again you came eye to eye with worry-filled icy blues.
“Sol-”
“Мое солнце  [My Sun]...” He interrupted, his metal arm snaking around your waist to pull you in possessively and away from those who threatened your safety. On the other side of the room, the nervous kid now coughed and wheezed for breath, but you were just happy to see he was still alive. 
“Please just listen to them. You’re already hurt, don’t get yourself killed…” you pleaded, your hand barely brushing over his bleeding wound before pulling his hand to your rounded belly. He tried to keep his expression steady, but you saw the way his eyes widened slightly as he looked down. “She needs someone looking out for her and I can’t do this on my own. I can’t keep away all the dangers of the world…” Your forehead rested against his as you tried to shift your weight, whining as you gave up and moved back. You couldn’t deny that this part of Bucky was her father too, even if he had been hidden away for ages, she was still his too. Whether Bucky would see it the same way you weren’t sure, but right now you were just concerned with making sure he got out of this alive. 
“I can’t do this without you…” 
The silence felt deafening as he considered. He never had to think about other people relying on him, not like this. His orders had always been to leave no threats, to finish his job and move on, no matter the cost to him. But the pain in his soft, fleshy shoulder was getting harder to ignore. The way his blood-soaked shirt clung to his arm now climbed to the forefront of his mind as he watched your big eyes stare back at him, desperate to understand. He was between a rock and a hard place. 
“I’ll be right beside you the whole time..” You assured him, “We both will, but please let everyone get us some help.” 
A gentle nudge pushed against his palm as his thoughts swirled around him, snapping him back to a single line of thought and he knew then. Defeat laid heavy on his shoulders as they slumped, accepting what must be done., “Мое солнц [My Sun] …”, He said, “Если вы так хотите, то я не буду жаловаться [If it is what you wish, then I will not complain].” 
You couldn’t tell just how long you had been holding the breath you let out, your muscles relaxing as he finally held his hands up. The security squad began coming forward with an array of cuffs, but it was Sam who stopped them this time, glancing back at you for confirmation as he assured them that they could take it from here. Despite the arguing and the hesitation, they seemed to relent, shifting their focus now to their injured colleague. 
Both Sam and Steve looked tired but relieved as they turned to the two of you, bloody and pained in your current state. Though they weren’t quite better; both of them looked like they had been the unfortunate punching bag of a certain super soldier mere hours before. Sam had bruises lining his arms from where he was surely blocking blow after blow and Steve smiled a bit with his busted lip, dried blood still stuck in the corner of his mouth.
“Let’s get you two to the tower…” 
----
The journey to the tower was quiet, your soldier never letting you out of arms reach as you all boarded the armored truck, and made your way up the tower and to the lab. 
Doctors tried to treat the both of you, but as soon as anyone dared to come close your assassin was right there to growl them back. They’d hardly be able to get past his possessive hands even if they could manage to get close, his touch keeping you pulled beside him at all times.
“Soldat…” you warned him, but he was too preoccupied gathering the medical bag they had been dropped. Coming over to you, there was no warning as he scooped you up from the ground and set you on a table to get to work. 
“Oh-!” You exclaimed as you held onto his strong shoulder, quickly getting plopped back down on the corner of the cold metal table. A shiver ran down your skin as you shifted against the sleek table, watching as practiced hands scoured through the medical bag, producing everything he needed as he went about fixing up your leg wordlessly. 
You were beyond thankful for the haze of the (baby-safe) painkillers as his fingers slid over the raw flesh. Despite the gentle numbing of the painkiller your fingers still lay tangled in his hair as he worked, only tugging in discomfort as the gauze wrapped tightly around your leg.
"Thank you..” You said when he finally finished, moving back to appreciate his work before giving it a satisfactory nod. His eyes had grown distant again, bits of confusion and uncertainty swirling in the storm of his eyes, and you reached out to stroke your thumb across his cheek. His stony cool expression remained as you touched him, his mouth staying a firm line as he instinctively leaned into your palm. You watched him for a moment before you continued, knowing that his thoughts must be far away.
“It's your turn now, big guy.... your shoulder is still seeping and you can’t keep losing blood like this," You urged him just as you had on the ride to the tower. He had refused to listen then, letting nothing else occupy his mind until he knew you were fully taken care of. But now as you sit safely before him, the only looming threats being Sam and Steve who seem to haunt the hallway outside, he finally relented.
You moved to stand, needing the angle to effectively dig out the bullet still lodged in his muscles, but he held you still with a single large hand on your shoulder, "Stay," he urged you with that low rumble of his. His eyes lingered on yours, ensuring you would do as he asked before he began to move again, gathering the supplies you would need.
He slid his bloody shirt off, revealing the weeping wound beneath and the scars of many wounds past. You expected him to stand in front of you, maybe sit so you could take care of him, but that didn’t seem to be the important thing right now.
He climbed up onto the cold table where you sat, curling onto his side with his back facing the door so his wounded shoulder sat closest to you. His head lay in your lap with a look of unmatched serenity as he pressed his forehead against your rounded belly. And there he rested, quiet and unmoving as he took his quiet moment. But he was far too exposed like this, far too trusting of “threats” lurking outside, and he almost reminded you of Bucky again. Was Bucky fighting to come back…? Was the Winter Soldier trusting you to watch his back? … or was he accepting of something you weren't sure he knew yet?
"Are you sure? It's going to be harder to take the bullet out this way. I don’t want to hurt you more than I have to," you tried to explain as you pulled out the forceps.
But he simply shook his head, "I know my time here is short, my Sun..." he said with an even tone, no semblance of fear to shake his voice, "Please let me enjoy it like this…."
Your voice caught in your throat as he answered, his blunt acceptance and knowing catching you off guard. You wished beyond anything that you could soothe him, to tell him no one was going to hurt him or take him away again. But you wouldn’t lie to him, so instead you said nothing, Your words rasping as you replied, "Of course, My star…."
The room was quiet as you worked, the only noise the sweet mumblings from your boyfriend's lips as he filled your baby’s ears with loving promises. His body let out a grunt and a soft squelch as you finally tugged the crushed bullet out. Pain creased his brow but his words never faltered and neither did the nudges or kicks he got in reply.
Carefully you cleaned up the blood, packing the wound as best you could, but you were sure Tony and his team would be redoing it soon nonetheless.
A sigh escaped him as he heard you putting away your tools, "My Sun?" he asked.
"Yes?"
“Is it time…?”
You cast your eyes downward, looking into those confused and swirling blues as they watched you with unbridled hope.
You nodded, wiping away the tears that welled in your eyes, “It’s time…” you whispered.
He nodded, thinking quietly as he looked down at your belly again, his hand smoothing over the skin he’s exposed, “Will I see you two again…?” 
Your heart broke at the slight waver in his voice, “Oh, my star…” you said, resting your palm against his cheek, “It’s just like I said, ‘you can not lose me in any way that would last’. I’ll see you again and again, in this life and the next,” you assured as you leaned down to kiss his temple, a small smile forming at the corners of his lips. Tears blinked from your eyes as you continued, “I don’t know when, or for how long, but you will see us again. You can always come home to me, and I will always be there to welcome you.” You leaned, slow as not to scare him, and kissed him gently as he turned again to look at you.
 It was awkward at first, but you didn’t mind, you couldn’t imagine the last time the Winter Soldier had felt such gentleness, let alone a kiss. 
But the moment was ripped away as the door opened, Steve, Sam, and Tony all standing in the doorway. “We’re ready for him,” Tony said simply, “Let's get this started so my lab techs can go home….” 
-----
You watched behind thick glass as Tony and his team of technicians attached various wires and machinery to Bucky’s body. Sam and Steve’s hands lie on your shoulders, trying to comfort you as you watch them finish tuning and placing everything. You watched as his blue eyes stared vacantly at the ceiling, as still as a statue as he let them do their work.
“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to watch this…” Steve tried to comfort you, but you only shook your head. 
“No… I promised I’d see him off,” you replied, then thought with a pause, “Despite all the warnings Bucky gave me I’m happy I got to see him face to face…” 
“Well, it helps that he wasn’t trying to beat the shit out of you…” Sam mumbled, getting an immediate nudge from you right in one of his bruises, “ Ow…okay, point taken.”
You smiled and shook your head. It was true though; despite the fear, blood, and death that dripped from his moniker, despite the pain you endured in his presence, you would do it all again. Bucky had hidden this part of him from you for so long, only ever showing you half of his face. And though you know he wouldn’t like it, you’re happy to finally see him in full light- to know and love him completely as he’s meant to be.
Tony says something that’s hard to make out through the glass, but you see him give a thumbs up to you all so he must have been ready. He moved to the switch, hesitating for a moment to let you say a quick goodbye. 
Your Soldier’s eyes found yours right away, but there was no trace of sorrow for you to see, no discomfort or fear. In fact, he seemed almost excited; excited and hopeful that when he saw you next he’d have a bundle of joy to look forward to as well. 
“Мое солнце [My Sun]...” you watched him say beyond the glass.
“I’ll see you again, My stars. I’m sure of it…” You replied with a soft smile.
He had just enough time to smile softly back at you, an image now pleasantly etched in your brain before Tony flipped the switch and the reset procedure began. 
You covered your eyes quickly as Bucky’s body began to convulse, his strained grunts and shouts breaching containment despite the way he tried to hold it all back. The sounds of pain continued for minutes, but it felt far longer. Though, it wasn’t until it got quiet that you began to worry. 
“Is it done? Is it over...?” You asked the men on either side of you, afraid to peek past your hands for fear of the worst.
“Doll…?” you heard the familiar voice call, gritty and rough from its recent use but still carrying that same soft tone he used with you.
Your heart swelled, “Bucky...?”
_____________
Taglist: @writingmysanity @simpxinnie (sorry I forgot to tag!)
It's been a while since I've written for our favorite sad man, so if I've missed you/you want to be added to the taglist, DM me to let me know!
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sweet1delusi0ns · 5 months ago
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Naruto boys random headcanons──☆*:・゚
Sfw
Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆
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Naruto🦊-*
Hes lazy at home. Not because he’s tired he just wants you to take care of him, but when you call him a baby for all these requests he gets mad “I AM NOT A BABY! I AM A GROWN MAN! NOW SPOON FEED ME!”
He tries to prank you but fails, your too smart to fall for it. He always tries to trip you in public while walking and every time he is the one on the floor and your the one laughing some how-
He likes the idea of drawing and being an artist he just can’t draw. He can only draw stick people with different hair, one time he tried to draw you, gave up and instead gave you a picture of a stick person with your hair. It’s now on the fridge LOL
He tries to act cool around his friend with you but just makes a fool of himself. “Yeah this my bae so what?” “Yeah I’m his bae and he’s my baby, my big, soft, smiley baby!” His soul is now crushed and his friends all laughing
He sleeps like a ANIMAL. he full on can’t sleep normally, You both go to bed the same time, one of you is always gunna wake up on the floor, mostly you. Then he wakes up like “why you on the floor?”
Sasuke🗡️-*
He may seem cool but he gets very flustered. He doesn’t cover his face though he just closes his eyes so he doesn’t get more flustered and so he can ignore the fact that he is red
He CANT Dance, don’t EVER take him dancing. It’s not because he’s bad at dancing he just never learn. If there is music he will bop his head to the beat though, if you try to get him to dance he will freak out and freeze. He just doesn’t like it ok!
His waist is weirdly sensitive, you could barely touch his waist and he will start giggling. He isn’t ticklish anywhere else but if you take a feather to his waist he will start LAUGHING
He will kick your feet when he wants attention. If you guys are out to dinner with friends he will kick you under the table to get your attention, he thinks it’s funny until you fight back and stomp on his foot. He made you kiss his pain away at home, atleast he got attention LOL
He forgets the silliest things one time he forgot how to tie a knot so anything he needs to tie like his clothes or shoes you had to do for him. You don’t know if he actually forgot or if he just wanted to be babied-
Itachi🥀-*
He can’t handle heatwaves. If it’s over 90 degrees he’s gone for. One time you woke up on a heat wave morning waiting for him to wake up and walk out but he never did, you went to find him and he was in bed, sprawled out, shirt and covers off soaked in sweat. You had to rub ice on him to get him conscious -
Unlike naruto, he likes drawing and can ACTUALLY DRAW, although he can only draw plants but he doesn’t mind he likes plants! He will draw you flowers instead of buying you some which is like equally as cute~
He has very sensitive eyes. Like how he can’t handle heat he cant handle the sun either. If it isn’t cloudy he will have to squint to keep his eyes from hurting. When you told him to wear sun glasses he said “I still want to see you clearly though love…”
He’s not a big fan of skin care but he likes those face roller things. He bought one just so you could use it on him, he likes that it’s cold but also massaging!
He sneezes like a girl- he has the cutest, most petite sneeze you’ve ever heard out of a man which is cute and very funny. He doesn’t even realize it either “a-choo!” “That was crazy out of character” “huh?”
Kakashi🍃-*
He’s allergic to cats, he likes cats sure but he never hangs around them because he’s allergic. You didn’t know that and one day you brought a stray inside and he instantly turned puffy (poor thing)
Once he gets home and discards the mask he puts lip tint on. He has pink lips for that reason. When he first puts it on he will find you and kiss you just to leave a mark before waiting 10 minutes then whipping it off
He needs reading glasses but never uses them, then complains to you when he gets a headache as if you didn’t tell him to put them on
He takes a lot of baths. If he showers it bound to end up a bath. And he doesn’t care if your using the bathroom if he wants a bath he’s gunna make a god Danm bath. One time You were just washing your face and he busted in the door and ran to the bathtub, You washed your face as fast as you could-
He is EXTREMELY tired when he first wakes up, he doesn’t move for like 20 minutes so if he needs to get up and do stuff your gunna have to make him, like actually you’ll have the carry him out of bed.
Kiba🐺-*
He bites his nails from stress so you have made it a habit to smack his hand away when he does. It worked since all you have to do is tap him softly and he will stop. He’s so glad you help him get over bad habits
He decorated akamarus ears when he’s bored, one time you walk in on him giggling like a little girl and akamarus ears were pulled together in a little ponytail! You joined in on the fun🤞
He comes back from a casual walk along a complete mess, you have no idea how but one day he came back with half a bush stuck on his leg. He always cleans up though!
He sometimes transforms akamaru into himself to prank his friends or you, mostly you. One time akamaru came up to you as Kiba and started licking your face “EW OH MY GOD?!” “AUUFF AUF!” “KIBA YOUR NOT FUNNY”
He always has tan cheeks and nose. Compared to the rest of his face, his cheeks are cute and golden!
Shikamaru🀄️-*
He lets you win at intelligents based games to make you feel better. Except one time he actually tried and lost. He’s convinced you cheated
His hair is straight but gets very frizzy if not cared for. (You care for it since he’s lazyy)
He draws on himself when bored, mostly just trippy designs like swirls and stuff. Will also let you draw on him, only if your good tho he doesn’t want “bad drawing” on him😔
He has a box FULL of hair ties and will notice if you take one. “This one you literally stole from me?” “Don’t care put it back!!!”
He gets Freezingly cold at night, like really really cold. When he snuggles up to you to warm up you could feel how cold he really is and you don’t understand how since you are both under covers-
Shino🪲-*
He keeps bugs in the house so they can watch over anything, they are basically his security cameras-
His hair is so cute and wavy! Also gets very frizzy because of the texture like Shika. He also makes you take care of it, he just really likes you touching his hair
He gives you bugs as gifts, not like freaky beetles but cute little bugs like lady bugs or fuzzy green caterpillars. You find it cute that he gives you things that mean so much to him
He shockingly has a sensitive neck, only to you though. Bugs can crawl all over it and he doesn’t move but if you try to kiss it he gets chills. Also shockingly he has really soft skin idk maybe he sheds skin (IM JOKING)
When he gets home and can finally undress he lets you take his glasses off since you love his eyes and he loves that you love them. He gets insecure about it sometimes!
Neji🎋-*
He speak really highly and intelligently but he’s honestly a little dumb sometimes, or maybe he’s just dumb with you to be silly we don’t know
The only jewelry he really wears is an ankle bracelet you got him
He loves hair charms, he likes decorating his hair! He likes putting clips and braids in it, sometimes even put color streaks in it if he wants to be festive
He really likes pottery and making things out of clay, he’s very creative and he finds clay the perfect outlet. He even makes pots for you!
He has a flower garden that NO ONE is allowed in. He treats them like they’re his baby’s, because they are! He’s favorite plant he has is his cactuses.
Lee🥋-*
He’s extremely energetic and powerful yet he has asthma, he denies it. But if it’s really hot outside he runs out of breath REALLY fast which makes you worry
He’s scared of spiders you kill the spiders for him or he runs! If you trap a spider and chase him with it he will almost start crying (he will start crying) he’s ashamed to admit spiders are his weakness
He wears mascara, he gotta make them lashes voluminous yk. He stole his mascara from tenten too. You made him give it back to her and bought him his own
It’s pretty obvious but he is FLEXIBLE! Backbend, splits anything he can do. You thought he broke his spine onces-
He’s not much of a plant guy but he has the TINIEST succulent in your room that he cares for, every other plant he has had died but not that one~
Choji🍥-*
He loves finger painting and is actually really good at it, you’d think it was made by a professional and an actual paint brush but no it was Choji and his finger paint😭
His hair is so thick most hair ties he uses break. He has to use hair needles instead because it’s the only thing that holds if he wants his hair up for a while
He thinks pillow fights are actually entertaining he could have a pillow fight with you all day and never get bored. He goes crazy if he’s over at someone’s house and they suggest pillow fights!
He loves bath bombs!!! He basically died when you run him a bath and put bath bombs in it, his favorite scent it lavender. Even if you didn’t add a bath bomb he loves when you make him baths he thinks its adorable
He paints your cheeks like his in your sleep, that’s his idea of a prank even though it’s basically him just being a cutie “look now your like me y/n!!”
Gaara⏳-*
He turns the black rings around his eyes to cat eyes sometimes. He looks ADORABLE with cat eyes. He sometimes even uses eye shadow too, if he can’t change it he thought might as well make it look cutee
He’s scared of mosquitos, he just doesn’t like bugs that can fly and go after human blood it freaks him out
He wears one of those scent bracelets and puts your signature scent in it so he always smells like you~
He gifts you plants all the time
He collect the silliest things, there are these cute little cat charms at a near by store and he’s working on collecting them all!
Kankuro🪆-*
Shockingly he really likes reading. He likes fiction books the most, he asks you for suggestions
He asks you what new make up design he should try, sometimes he just gives you the brush and lets you go wild. But you always make him look cute~
He fidgets with the ears on his hat when he’s bored. It rubbed off on you so now if he’s around you with his hat on you start messing with them-
He steals your clothes and hides them so you have no choice but to ask to use his for the day. After the day is over he comes up to you smiling and hands you your missing clothes “found em!” “By found em do you mean took them out of the hiding spot?” “Yeah-”
He paints his nails either black, pink or purple. He also lets you paint them, it honestly just ends up a mess. He would totally whip nail polishes on your nose~
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bi-writes · 9 months ago
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bestfriend!roommate!simon leaves on an assignment, but he needs your help first. (18+)
more bff!roommate!simon (part 9/?)
cw: mature language and content, suggestive language and content, simon has thicc thighs, lap sitting, fem+m!receiving touching, thigh riding because i cant resist, soft!dom!simon, praise kink, size kink (reader described to be moved/handled easily by him), the mask doesn't come off, simon is a cocky bastard, a lotta angst
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"simon, if you keep moving, i won't be able to finish, quit squirming."
"sorry, luv--afraid you'll prick me with that bloody thing."
you stuck your tongue out at him for a moment before setting back against his thighs. you sat so nicely there, your ass perched on the thick muscle as you worked. you had your tongue between your teeth as you concentrated.
your fingers held a thick needle, weaving it through the fabric of simon's balaclava and the plastic skull plate. he had ruined another piece; he had come home after his last deployment with the skull plate in pieces. he did not explain what had happened to it; you only tried to ignore the streaks of red along the face of it when you watched him throw it away.
you saw him sitting on the couch, trying to sew it together, but his big fingers made it a little difficult; you sweetly asked if you could help. a big plus--you got to sit in simon's lap and bask in the heat of him.
you adjusted, moving around until you were straddling his wide hips. you had to spread your own to accommodate his size, sitting up high to be able to reach the top of his head, weaving the thread through to tie the plastic to the fabric.
"bloody tits are in m'face, luv."
"yeah? never heard a man complain about that before," you laughed lowly. he grunted in response, a gloved hand wrapping around your waist to hold you steady. "what? you don't like 'em?"
he clicked his tongue, shaking his head, and you laughed again, continuing to sew the plastic to the fabric.
"you're gonna look so scary," you smiled wide. "you like looking scary on the field?"
"keeps the little ones at bay."
"everyone's little to you, simon."
"aye."
you snorted, settling in his lap as you were almost finished sewing the mask. you tied off the thick thread when you were finished, using some scissors to cut the excess fabric. you met his eyes as you sat there, and you smiled at him; maybe he did look intimidating, but all you could think about was how those pretty eyes sparkled last night when he came into your hand and how much you were going to miss that look when he was gone.
"the paint, simon?"
he held up a small jar in one hand, and you took a brush from the coffee table and began to draw lines down the face of the mask. you passed over his dark eyes, winking at him playfully before doing the same line on the other half of the mask. you put the brush down, dipping the tip of your manicured finger in it and then starting to draw the lines down where the mouth of his face would be.
you could feel his warm breath against your finger, and you cupped his cheek with your other hand, holding him firm as you drew along the mask.
"i'm going to miss you, simon," you whispered, swallowing hard. you avoided his eyes, focusing on drawing along the cloth. you let out a shaky breath. "i-i mean...i always miss you, but now you're gonna be gone and...whenever you go, you go for a long time, and--"
simon squeezed your waist gently, quieting you. your bottom lip trembled a little, and you looked down, away from him.
"i-i'm sorry. i don't mean to get upset. it's stupid."
stupid. there was nothing stupid about being vulnerable. nothing stupid about baring yourself, being naked to someone in more ways than just the physical. the sex was easy together; it was everything else that simon fought with. feeling. being. loving. the mundane of that love, like coming home.
and coming home was not easy.
"'s not stupid, luv. i know i leave y'here. i know," he shook his head. "i don't do it on purpose, y'know that."
you nodded, "yes, yeah...i know. it's your job. and you're good at your job, and you made a commitment to your team, and they rely on you like you rely on them--i-i know the reasons." you smiled sadly. "i know. i just miss you...that's all."
there was an itch in the back of your head, a hoarseness lodged in your throat--sometimes you wanted to just keep talking, because forbid this be the last time i say it to you.
he hummed lowly, sliding his hands down low and cupping both sides of your ass, bringing you close. you wipe your hands off of the paint, sighing deeply, relaxing as simon leaned back against the couch and held you near. your hands circled around his neck, hugging him back as you breathed in each other--your scent, the sounds of your breath, the feel of each other's warmth.
you cleared your throat, smoothing your hands down simon's cheeks.
"let me get you geared up, yeah?"
you didn't wait for simon to answer. you picked yourself up off his lap, going to where he had his things laid out. you picked up his tactical vest, holsters, his skull-painted gloves, and you brought them back to the couch. simon sat up as you draped the vest over his head, fitting it over his shoulders. you untucked the hood of his jacket from under the vest, making sure it sat right before fastening the straps and making sure it was secure. you tugged on the straps just to make sure, your eyes skimming over the British flag on his chest and the prominent letters spelling SAS.
you busied yourself with switching out his gloves now, replacing the plain black ones with the painted-skull bone gloves. you didn't react to the calloused fingertips or the jagged scars along his hands. simon was so beautiful--every part of him was.
"i'm really proud of you, simon," you said softly. he hummed lowly but said nothing. you kissed his cheek gently, trying to meet his eyes and smile at him. "have i ever told you that?" simon shook his head, his eyes raising to stare intensely right into yours. you bit your lip. "well, i am. proud. you've come so far. they would be proud, too."
you didn't have to specify who they were. simon didn't flinch, but his eyes flickered.
you reached for one of the thigh holsters, sitting back and motioning for him to stand. when he did, you tried not to think about how much simon towered over you like this. he was taller than you, so much broader, taking up so much of your space. you reached up and started to fasten the holsters around his thigh, your fingers skimming the taut muscle there as you buckle it around him. you didn't comment on the fact that you nearly had to loosen the strap all the way just to fit around the thick of him.
you reached for the other holster, fastening it around his other thigh and looking up at him after you had finished. fuck, he looked good like this. he looked so much bigger--the width of him was greater, with you seated, you had to bend your neck back far, and having his back to the window cast low shadows over his face, darkening his gaze and giving him an eerie backlight. but you would never be afraid of simon--even all dressed up.
your lips part gently when his gloved hand cups just under your chin. you mewled lowly, looking up at him with those big eyes and a soft voice. simon knelt down suddenly, widening his thighs to cage you in on the couch and keeping a gentle hold of your chin.
"'m gonna be back before you know it, luv. sittin' right there--" he tilted his head to the spot to your left, "--y'know that, right?"
you broke out into a soft smile, bouncing a little as you nodded your head. simon clenched his jaw under the mask--fuck, you were so cute, so fucking sweet. there was nothing more comforting than knowing you were waiting for him when he came back--that you would be sitting here just like this, with this little smile on your face, your eyes so wide and pretty.
"i know," you whispered. you leaned over, smoothing your hands over the front of his vest before absentmindedly playing with the straps of it. "i know, simon. still going to miss you."
you don't meet his eyes. it was hard; simon was an important part of your life. any time you lived in his absence, it was lonely. now that you lived together, it felt that much lonelier--there was a room cold and unoccupied, an empty seat at the table, a spot on the couch without him in it. his voice soothed no nightmares and his warmth took away none of your shivering. you never told him that when you called; you only spoke of the meal you had cooked that you told him he would like and the annoying step at the entrance that the landlord still hadn't come to mend.
"c'mere."
simon smoothed his gloved hand down your chin, wrapping his fingers delicately around your throat. with a firm grip, he guided you into his lap as he sat back against the couch again, your body easily settling between his thighs again. your face relaxed, cheek smushed against his shoulder as you pressed your lips to the fabric over his neck. you sighed deeply, legs resting on either side of one of his thighs.
your head tilted back, your eyes peeking up to look at him. he moved his own head to the side, and beneath the skull, you could see those pretty dark eyes--beautiful, undeniable need in them. simon was terrible at hiding what he felt behind his eyes--they were warm, and his pupils were dilated, and you wondered if he saw the same pretty things in you that you saw in him.
your eyes fluttered when you felt one hand slide down the length of your spine. a warm, gentle hand, smoothing along the back of your shirt before cupping one side of your ass. you whined, a soft little sound escaping as you jumped slightly. your legs squeezed around his thigh, and you let out a gasp at the gentle grind. you reached up and cupped one side of his face at the first trace of pleasure, your lips pressing to the other side of it as he encouraged you to do it again.
you did. following his guiding hand, you dragged your hips up again, a strangled moan leaving you as you grind against his thigh. but it wasn't enough--as you moved, you whimpered against simon's face, letting out hot breaths of frustration. your jeans were too much of a barrier, not allowing for enough stimulation, and you felt pathetic when you heard simon's low chuckle.
"awww, sweetheart...look at ya..." he reached up with one paw of a hand and tangled a gloved hand into your hair, tugging on it firmly. he grunted as he watched your mouth fall open, slack jawed, drooling a little as you squeezed your thighs around his own. "look at tha'face. fuckin' beautiful, innit? that face you make when you want your cunny all nice and wet...when you want it pet..."
you cried out at that, nuzzling your face into his mask, kissing at the fabric and licking over the strong line of his jaw and hoping to god that he would have mercy on his pretty little roommate. that he would have mercy on her pretty face, on his name tumbling out of her mouth, on the way she grinded on his thigh like a lovesick bunny in heat.
"sound pathetic, luv..." he gripped the back of your neck, holding you at a distance now. he gripped the front of your jeans roughly, undoing the button and pulling the zipper down. "now be a good puppy and take 'em off."
you shimmied out of your jeans, slipping them down your legs and kicking out of them. you were about to slip your panties off, pretty pink lace that hugged your ass so cute, but simon stopped you, forcing you back down to straddle his thigh.
"i like these," he murmured. "want them on."
you smiled, putting both hands on his vest. you gripped it tight, as tight as you could handle kevlar and bulletproof material, and then you nuzzled your face into mouth of his mask and began to ride his thigh. you were shaking. the straps of his holster were catching on your clit, and your hands were growing clammy as you tried to hold onto him for stability. you wanted to be good. you wanted to show simon how good you could be, how if he just unzipped his cargo pants and dropped them low enough, you could ride his cock so good, he'd see the fucking stars.
you hitched yourself higher on his leg, your thighs squeezing around the meat of his thigh, and he grunted lowly when your knee met his crotch. as you bounced, you rubbed up against him, and you squeaked when his gloved hand gripped your hair roughly, forcing your lips against the front of his mask. your mouth dropped open into a silent scream, a choked moan leaving you, and you kept going. you needed to show him, he needed to know--he needed to know that you wanted him, that you wanted this.
you let one hand drop, fall from his vest, and he growled out a string of angry curses when that soft hand gripped his cock through his pants. it was rough, a little aggressive, and you met his eyes easily.
"i want it--i-i want it--!" you cried. "i w-want more--"
he chuckled, and you felt tears prickling the edges of your big eyes as he laughed. your heart ached because you knew he was laughing at you. you sounded broken. you sounded lost. you sounded pathetic, but you couldn't care, you just couldn't bring yourself to. you needed more with simon.
you were tired of the in-between. you were sick of what if, when, the maybes that surrounded the unspoken thing between you. every grind of your hips, every drop of your slick that dampened his pants, all of it was just something in you screaming what are we?
he called your name, and you wanted to care about what he thought, but you needed him to know. you slipped your arms around his neck, moving until you straddled his hips, pressing your cunt right over the hardness stuck in his zipper and continuing your desperate pace.
you were going to make him understand this feeling inside. the gnawing in your chest--the thing that wanted to be outside so bad, it would claw its way out, it would force its fingers through your throat until simon could see that this wasn't a mistake.
this wasn't forgotten moments that lingered after dark. this wasn't the inevitable of a man and a woman who lived together. this was the catalyst of a bond too strong. two things, unable to be taken apart, to be reduced to separate things. there was not a simon riley without you, and there was no you without simon riley, and if he couldn't understand that, you didn't think you would survive the homecoming.
so you were going to fuck simon riley until he understood the knot was tight, and it would never unravel.
"kitty, wait--"
but he couldn't stop you. you swallowed his words, moaning desperately against the mask, your hips chasing the warm buzz that was creeping up your chest and down your thighs, your toes clenching as you notched the tip of his cock right up against your clit and fucked yourself harder against the smooth fabric of his pants.
"kitty--fuckin' christ--"
you sobbed, squeezing the back of his neck as you soaked his pants. your hips stuttered, small little circles that you made as you tried to ride out the trickle of warmth that was covering you like a comforting, pleasurable wave. your body relaxed, and you sucked on his jaw through the mask, tasting the musk and cigarette smoke that lingered there.
"simon--p-please--"
he grunted, pressing on the back of your head to tuck your face into his neck. you sniffled, moody and emotional from coming so hard, and you shook your head.
"y'r not ready for it. not time yet."
"i am," you sounded like such a baby. a cock-drunk pretty little roommate that needed something so desperately, she was so scared of what she might do to have it. to have him. "i am, please--"
"luv--"
"it's not fair," you gasped, pulling back from him. you stared up at him, and he hummed lowly, reaching up to wipe the tears that gathered under your eyes. "it's not fair, why--why can't i--?"
he tsked, clicking his tongue as he got to his feet, and your eyes lowered as he cursed under his breath, adjusting his pants, and you felt a sliver of victory as you realize that you made simon cum in his pants like a teenager.
"i w-won't wait forever."
the air in the room changed immediately. it came out of your mouth faster than you could stop it, and you tensed against the couch as his head turned, snapping to look at you.
"wot? wot did y'just say?"
"nothing."
"look at me."
you grit your teeth as he leaned down and knocked you under the chin, forcing your head to tilt back.
"wot did you just say?"
"nothing," you repeated, firmer this time. his eyes narrowed, two black, dull eyes staring down at you. his gaze was intense, and it was meant to scare you, but simon could never scare you. deep down, you knew he would never hurt you, at least not physically.
emotionally, simon had your heart in his hands, and those hands were not made to nurture. they were made to make pretty roommates cum and to pull dirty triggers. but nowhere in that did it say they were made to love you. nowhere did it specify he would keep it safe. you had given it up, before you had even realized, and he was playing you like his favorite instrument.
but simon didn't know how to play music. and there was a part of you that knew nothing about this was in tune.
when he goes, he doesn't say goodbye. and when you cried, it echoed in an empty room.
you would not wait forever. i will not wait forever.
he will not wait forever.
968 notes · View notes
onlyswan · 11 months ago
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i’m back to give you my iw!couple brain rot 🤲, please handle with care.
but !! imagine jungkook and oc doing that “see how long we can go without kissing” challenge !! how would fold first? they’re both so competitive but smitten it makes me conflicted. 😣😣
knowing them, jungkook would be twitching his eye just from the thought of being deprived kissies so would oc give in first to let him win? or would jungkook just take what’s his?? 🤔
imagine oc being a blushing mess from staring at jungkook’s face for too long 😵‍💫 THEYRE SO CUTE I CANT THINK STRAIGHT😭🫶
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summary: in which jungkook is twenty-six years old and yet… you still give him butterflies.
idol!jk x reader, established relationship / word count: 0.7k
content/warnings: sexual tension, making out, it’s honestly just them fighting over who gets to be on top
> in which masterlist!
note: hehe hi anonie… sorry… i kindaaa got carried away… i had to write out the thing or else i would’ve gone insane just talking about it <3 (written with love and care) <3
“i don’t understand this challenge.”
“me neither,”
jungkook remains in a hypnotic-like trance, doe eyes trained to your lips stained with a lighter shade of mixed red and brown.
“we’re this close and we can’t kiss…? this is absurd.”
“do they actually do this in bed? with someone on top?” you chuckle as you coyly twirl a lock of his hair around your finger. “i don’t think so?”
“i don’t know. i just wanted you to be comfortable.” he teasingly brushes his nose against yours, and the air in your lungs becomes suspended. “since, you know, we’ll be here a while.”
“oh wow. bringing me to bed, really? you’re that confident?”
he cockily raises an eyebrow. “hm, we both know you won’t be able to resist me here. you’re all over me all the time.”
you try not to roll your eyes in annoyance. and you also both know that you’re just as competitive, if not more.
“oh my god, you,” you mumble. the calm of your voice contrasts the aggressive push of your hand against your boyfriend’s naked chest. “and your stupid arrogance and your stupid need to flaunt your stupid hot body.”
in the blink of an eye, jungkook finds you stradding him, and himself, trapped underneath your body. he blinks in disbelief, tongue poking the inside of his cheek.
“this is dirty.”
you remove his glasses, moving it aside without care. “that’s just your mind.”
okay, perhaps bringing you to bed was a bad idea.
you lean down, slowly, close and then closer— it’s quite ridiculous that he’s nervous as if he doesn’t know what is bound to happen next: he’s thoroughly convinced that you’re going to kiss him.
once he feels your lips ghost over his, mere millimeters away, his eyelids flutter shut.
terrible idea. terrible.
the kiss, much to his disappointment, never happens.
he opens his eyes and your face is suddenly tucked in the space between his neck and shoulders, giggling and shaking and positively amused.
he turns away and squeezes his eyes shut. a painful admit of defeat against your infinite allure. “ah, i’m fucked.”
“we’ll get there later,” you lift your head, tilting his chin to face you.
you smile and scoot closer. so close that your bottom lips grazes his. he fails to remember the last time the two of you touched as chastely, as softly, but it felt like accidentally touching a live wire. he gets a funny feeling in his stomach. butterflies…? he’s twenty-six years old. he must be losing his mind.
“after you lose.”
“that’s not happening, baby.”
“yes, it will.”
“i won’t give up so easily.”
you give him an innocent look. “but i really think you will.”
you stare at each other for a little while, anticipating the other’s next move.
“fuck- yeah, okay-” he grits his teeth, taking advantage of his strength to finally flip back your positions. you’ve had your fun. “you’re right.”
“babe! ru-”
your surprised gasp is cut off by jungkook’s lips crashing on yours— curved into a smirk, you can feel it. your whines are muffled and swallowed by him, wrists caught in his hands and over your head because you were hitting his shoulder and he just wanted to kiss his baby properly.
“you lost,” you remark quietly when he draws back, only inches away, to scatter kisses along your face and down to your neck.
it tickles, you squirm in pleasure when he reaches near your collarbone, but your hands are still tied.
you were supposed to have him underneath you as a hot and flustered mess, not the other way around. damn it.
“really?” he feigns interest, lips finding their way back to yours. “doesn’t feel like it.”
3K notes · View notes
leonsrailway · 5 months ago
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hello my love! been thinking about creepy stalker leon lately <3 maybe vendetta leon! he's damaged mentally and he can't stop himself from being fixated on you. like he corners you somewhere and dubious consent things proceed. IN PUBLIC WOULD BE HOT, but they don't get caught. for a fem! reader
ive been watching you.
AHHHHH first request ate tf up. something about vendetta leon makes me blush. i hope u like!!!
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MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. NSFW UNDER THE CUT
CW: smut 18+, p in v, fingering, oral (f! receiving), dubcon, semi-public sex, stalking, obsession, masturbation, leon being a creepy perv, age gap (reader is like 22), noncon photography, choking, size kink if u squint and tilt ur head
fem! reader
divider: @leonsdolly
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hes not a weirdo. really! he never meant for it to go this far.
it was a random day last august when he wandered into the restaurant you worked at. but as soon as you came to his table and introduced yourself with that pretty little smile and those big doe eyes, he knew he'd been in trouble. after a short pause, he turned his charm on and started a conversation with you.
then he found himself back the next day. and the next.
he swore the only reason he showed up was for the coffee, which was the laziest excuse he could muster considering the coffee was from K-Cups, but you didnt seem to mind. every time you worked, you found your eyes glancing to his booth hoping to see his dark hair poking over the top of the booth in front of him. he could see the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, he just hoped you didnt notice the way his cock twitched when his eyes locked with yours.
during your small talk at his table, even after he learned you were half his age, he could only ever think about the way his large, rough hands would feel running all along your body, from your pretty tits, to your waist, to your thighs, to your- oh shit, what were you saying?
"you with me, Mr. Kennedy?" fuck, he loved when he heard his name leave your lips. "uh, yeah, sorry. long night. what were you saying?"
"did you want your regular?" you were smirking, almost mocking how distracted he was.
"yea, add something for yourself pretty lady, come sit with me on your break?"
leon had been a regular of your months. he looked to be in his late 30s-early 40s, and you'd be lying if you said his little nickname didnt make your knees a little weak.
"as much as id love to, Mr. Kennedy, i cant today. but i can definitely get that order in for you" you reluctantly deny his request.
he didnt appreciate that.
-
after a week of discreetly following you home after your shifts, he'd learned your routines. what time you shower in the evening, what time you have dinner, what time you touch yourself when everyone else falls asleep...
leon invested in some binoculars from the local nerd store and even found a little bush he could hide in perfectly angled to show him your bedroom. he even bought himself a new camera so he could take pictures of you when you look your best, oblivious.
when you had gone off to work one day, he snuck in right as you left. he's not sure what possessed him to do this, he used to be such a good guy. he wanted to protect and serve and... now look at him, rummaging in some 20 somethings underwear drawer.
-
you slam the register shut after counting your money for that night, it had been a long one. full of old men, not leon, telling you to "smile for them" or snapping at you for a refill of their sweet teas. everyone else had gone home for the night, and you were just about to lock up. your body ached, you felt like falling on the nearest flat surface and knocking out for the week.
until you heard the bell ding.
"we're close-" you were cut off by yourself when you saw who walked in, "oh, hey Mr. Kennedy."
theres his girl. "hey honey, you alright? you look tired" he approached you from behind.
"its been a long day, but nothing i can't handle. i was actually just about to lock up the restaurant... so.." you trail off, hoping he may get the hint that you just want to go home.
"well good thing i came in, huh?" he laughs, and so do you, but you didnt find it too funny. he was starting to stand a little bit too close to you for your comfort, even though you trusted him.
"i guess" you say, blushing when he gives you a look that made you almost rip off his shirt right then and there. but you cant, thats wrong, what would your parents think?
"you look pretty, angel" leon says, tilting your head up to look up at him. god, he was tall, and his one hand could cover your whole face.
"t-thank you Mr. Ke-"
"Leon. call me Leon"
"thank you, leon" you reply, crossing your arms, tensing up. you knew you shouldn't be feeling this way, it isn't professional.
he couldnt hold himself back anymore. whether it was the way your big pretty eyes looked up at him like a trap, or the way his hand was finally grazing your soft skin, something made him bold enough to kiss you.
"Le- Leon... we can't" you made out between kisses, as much as you were denying him, you were still kissing him back, that kept him going.
"we can't? that's too bad..." he mutters in your ear, breath fanning against your neck as his fingers wandered below your waistband, "because im gonna do it anyway"
you squirmed against him but you couldn't deny the way you mewled in his ear when he grazed your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. he laughed meanly in your ear before putting his free hand around your throat and gently squeezing when he applies the slightest pressure to your clothes clit, making you moan, "i knew you'd like that". he lays you down in a booth in the empty restaurant.
"p-lease... fuck" you tugged at his shirt, shyly asking for more. he laughs at the change in your charcter from only a moment ago, before ultimately complying with your silent request. he rips your clothes off and leaves a trail of sloppy, wet kisses from your neck, to your tits, to your stomach, and finally down to your pussy.
he gazes up at you with the hungriest eyes youve ever seen, glazed over and half lidded yet so focused on you. he makes out with your cunt, his nose bumping into your clit as he slips his tongue in and out of your hole, making lewd, borderline pornographic sounds. you were a wreck, writhing under him and grinding your hips into his face as he moaned incoherent praises into you, the vibrations making you soak his face more than you knew you could.
he eventually sticks two fingers into you as he sucks on your puffy, neglected clit, and once he curls his fingers to the spot that makes you jolt, he keeps on hitting that spot again and again and again until you cum in his mouth. he doesnt stop then, using his tongue to clean up your mess until you're pushing him away, a stupid cocky grin plastered on his wet lips.
you didn't realize you were taking his belt off until his cock was in front of you. he was big, leaking precum from his pretty pink tip and his eyes were piercing yours as he pumped himself a few times before lining himself with your entrance, the two of you gasping in tandem as he bottomed out inside of you.
tears pricked at your eyes as he began to move, the pain and pleasure and overstimulation from your last orgasm all combining and making a cocktail of sensations you've never experienced before. your head lolled to the side and you squeezed your eyes shut while leon rocked you into next year, until he just almost cuts off your airway and forces you to face him and look in his eyes as he drills into you like a jackhammer.
"ah-ah-ah-f-uuuck, Lee!" you moaned into his neck as you scratched pretty red lines down his back, making him grit his teeth to keep from letting out a whine he'd only heard when cumming in the panties he stole from your room
"i know pretty girl, feels good doesn't it?" he lets up on your throat, not that you could catch your breath at the rate he was plowing you. "y-yes- i'm cumming, oh my god im cumming" your eyes roll into the back of your head and you draw blood from biting your lip.
"go ahead princess, im right there with you" he grunts, slightly angling to hit you impossibly deeper, which was your final straw, you let out a string of curses and chants of his name as you cream his cock, he spills his load inside of you. not that you're that angry, his warm cum spilling out of you felt so nice you couldn't dare be angry.
the two of you catch your breath in silence until leon snaps a photo of your leaky cunt, both of your cum spilling onto your thighs.
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