#but ill handle that if it happens
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 209
Adjective: Voracious
Noun: Churchyard
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Voracious: wanting or devouring great quantities of food; having a very eager approach to an activity
Churchyard: an enclosed area surrounding a church, especially as used for burials
#so a coworker of mine that ive been having quite a few various issues with the past few months seemingly got fired today#(i cant confirm he was fired but between the phrasing of his departure email and him not putting in a two weeks it seems like he was fired)#and it honestly feels like a massive weight has been lifted off of my chest#(despite knowing we still have a long way to go in terms of inclusivity as a whole organisation but im hopeful to make changes with that)#cos i know that our clients (at least legally) are going to be getting the best help possible between me and our other legal advocate#and im hoping that now that his (honestly) oppressive energy is gone the environment at the office will be much nicer to work in#im just worried about potentially getting overwhelmed or incredibly busy cos ill have to take his existing clients#and any new ones needing help in my specific service areas cos im now the only person serving these areas#but ill handle that if it happens#i just feel like i can breathe and that ill feel a lot more comfortable being myself at work#also our supervisor has been out all week while being on vacation so she is gonna come back on monday to a real big surprise#anyway sorry for the rant#but these prompts are lowkey my diary so kind of not sorry#anyhoo back to our regularly scheduled programming#the prompt gives the feeling of the 'churchyard' (whether the church or the cemetery) pulling people or souls or corpses in to feed on#and for me there is the added theme or element of abuse through the word 'churchyard' reminding me of the song of the same name by aurora#there is just a lot to play around with here#definitely more than there appears to be on the surface#aurora#aurora aksnes#aurora music#infections of a different kind#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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people practice w Them <3
#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye#i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!!#but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!!#i already see improvement#not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this'#but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this#if i dont do it now then i never will!!!!#im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!!#ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived...#it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!!#ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen#i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere#either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3#THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT#scribble garnish#uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas-#in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3#yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established#im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3#& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah#im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be...#THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!
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Fuck I just have to write a fic about Emmrich noticing Rooks hidden injuries now
#Its so sweet that his favourite color is lilac and i happened to have made her eyes purple#anyways adore this dapper man#im romancing taash next (harding is low key making me jealous but i just know theyll be good for each other when taash finally tells her)#or shit lucanis i was so close to swaying towards him but emmrich is so sweet im just scared hell turn into a lich but i wanna support him#ahh so excited to see how things go from here!#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#emmich romance#emmrich volkarin#emmrich romance spoilers#im playing on low graphics because thats all my poor gaming laptop can handle but i wouldnt even know and i dont care it looks so good#i liked neve but hardened her maybe ill see what happens when lucanis gets hardened instead (hehe) but poor spite...
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It's always fun experiencing severe mental illness symptoms because of fiction, eh?
#helluva boss#Stolitz#helluva boss spoilers#helluva spoilers#I feel like I've finally managed to stabilise myself#Which is impressive. It's taken less than 24h. Thank you therapy#Last time a fandom left me emotionally in shambles (the last of us 2) it took me days to overcome the anxiety#Anyway the reason I'm talking about this is to hopefully give some visibility to the fact that this kind of thing can happen#When you struggle with mental illness#I'm not posting to vent or because I need help or anything! I'm fine!#But I do want others to know that it's okay if you're not fine because of something fictional you really care about and you're not alone#This is your reminder to think back to techniques that have helped you handle anxiety before if you're feeling shaken or on edge now#You got this!!!
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I think ice cream stores should sell Lactaid at the counter. You know, for dummies like me who always forget to keep some on them and then face instant regret after enjoying a delicious frozen treat.
#god had to nerf me with mental illness and an inability to handle dairy#and when I say instant regret I mean like 20 minutes after enjoying myself the unpleasantness begins#I JUST ATE THAT HOW IS THIS HAPPENING SO QUICKLY
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redraw wip ive been gatekeeping sorriezzz
#i hate what happened in that fuckass comic so im redrawing a specific panel because i hated how Nick looked#everyone was handled so poorly and i want to make it somewhat better#genuinely surprised how Nick didnt have grey hair with how overly stressed he was#oh well#ill do myself a favor instead#the mechanic's crafts#art#fnaf#springtrap#nick edwards#springtrap and deliah rewrite#need a new name
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first break at my minimum wage job guys!!!
#I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON#BUT I TUHINK I GIVE OFF A CONFIDENT VIBE CUZ PPL ARE LIKE IM SURE U CAN HANDLE IT!#and im like yea!! BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS HAPPENING#WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO MAKE A REPORT IN EXCEL EVERYDAY I WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO SEL SILLY LITTLE TICKETS WAAAH#ok im fine#gotta grind thru it#😝😝😝😝😝#fun fact this is just the training day#im having my first official day on the start of summer season#so ill learn how to use the register on one of the most busy days of the year 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#god help me why cant i make silly anime drawings for a living#i mean i can but its not bery sustainable#ill be fine 💪💪💪💪 GIVE ME THAT MINIMUM WAGEEE#personal
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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he forgot to eat
yall know i gotta draw them as vampires once a month or i'll combust. Probably the most intimate thing i'll ever draw (i almost died)
#dr0#ryoko otonashi#yasuke matsuda#matsunashi#dr genderbent#genderbend#combined my two favs#he gonna forget halfway though :(#scardraws#karl hates drawing intimacy#can barely handle hand holding thats how far gone i am#draw them kissing ill probably vomit from stress#i can handle SEEING it but when drawing or writing its like im taking part in it and I DONT WANNA#anyway have fun ryo no way in hell is she letting this happen twice
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not an ask, but I saw ur post and relate a lot to it.
anticipatory grief sucks. people will tell you not to think about it, not to let it steal from today, but some days are just so hard. sometimes it feels unavoidable, like it’s some goliath mountain in the distance or even the sky and you can’t not look at it. it’s like you have to keep trying to distract yourself not to think about it, and it’s exhausting, and you’re so fucking scared of the inevitable.
like how does anyone even function? the idea of the world continuing to spin when there’s this terrible, horrible thing that will happen some day is unfathomable but it does, and it’s horrible. Some day will mark the before and the after. nobody can ever be ready for it.
I hope the love you have keeps you strong. wishing you the best.
this is literally it. i know thinking about it Now wont make the actual day it happens any easier. but it's impossible to not think about it, especially since there's no tangible way to preserve memories or feelings or the like forever. i cry easily and get emotional over most anything and everything, which is another layer of difficulty wrt it because I spiral. I want to squeeze out of my body. im not meant for any of it
#skunk mail#Anonymous#ill be in a car with my dad fighting tears thinking about how ill miss it one day and there's no way for my brain to capture the moment and#make a simulation of it. and even then that wouldnt help. ykwim#sometimes i sit in my parents room while my parents and brother are there and i cant stop thinking about when ill see them for the last tim#and how i wish i could full really truly wring every last drop of ''appreciation'' from the moment.#i think about that time isnt linear thing. how everything that has happened or will happen exists on its own#and i think about the cheye experiencing the After tragedy. and i cant handle it. not now or then. i envy the past cheye#even the one of 5 seconds ago. because that was 5 seconds ive lost. 5 seconds closer to events that will#separate my life into Before and After. over and over again#(like you said anon. i think abt that all the time too)#i think this is also why im struggling with the thought of moving out#we all have so little time. dont even get me started on the fear and grief i feel for my own life#not only fearing dying but fearing the lead up where ive lost and cried over much. just me. alone.#ill never see them again. it will never be today again. we'll never be in my parents room like today again. i cant take it.#even if i spend every last second with everybody i still wont be able to take it. i cant believe it#human beings that were all somebody's baby once. tomorrow it will be like they were never here at all. all their memories#go with them. it hurts so bad. i cant take it#i cant even breathe rn ruminating abt it *peace sign emoji*
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Metamorphosis
The change inside the chrysalis is slow and gradual. The body digests itself from the inside out. The old body is broken down into imaginal cells but not all the tissues are destroyed. Some old tissues pass onto the creature's new body.
#vlad plasmius#vlad masters#imagine slowly transforming into something you hated#at a hospital ill-equipped to handle it#we think there's a lot of untapped potential of exploring Vlad's past#like yes danny is currently the happening now#but can you imagine the sheer hospital trauma?#the abandonment and betrayal?#jack and maddie canonically love and support danny without much thought#jack and maddie also canonically didn't contact their best friend for 10 years after blowing up his face in a ectoplasm-related accident#this is from our ask blog but we really felt it was good enough to stand on it's own#danny phantom#dp vlad#tw blood#tw broken glass#blog art.
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CHAT. i just finished reading all the worlds a (alien) stage by @realfakedokja and it genuinely altered my brain chemistry. PLEASE GO READ IT AND SEND 8970 KUDOS IT IS SO GOOD IT MADE ME KICK MY FEET AND GIGGLE UNCONTROLLABLY.
#🦢🍸 thoughts !!#alien stage#alnst#ivantill#ivantill fic#alnst fic#alien stage ivan#alien stage till#guys i’m literally frothing at the mouth that was so good#ngl i was also really invested in the toxic exes hyuluka sub plot happening in the background#HYUNA THE GOAT I LOVED HER SO MUCH IN THIS FIC#there’s a cheer up reference in there and it made me want to bash my head against a wall#CHAT PLEASE READ IT ITS ACTUALLY SO GOOD#i love fanfics that portray luka as the loser he really is ❤️#this fic also uses the source material so creatively?!#like it translates events from canon alnst into real modern events that could happen#LIKE IM NOT GONNA SPOIL BUT THE WAY THE METEOR SHOWER SCENE GOT HANDLED MADE ME CRY AND SCREAM MY HEAD OFF. AND THE BAR SCENE IN ROUND 6#i’m genuinely so ill i am going insane
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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something something mtt and branding (i dont know what i can say here but it just feels right. one of them probably has a brand. it's probably killer. erm.........)
#on the topic of torture anyways!!!!#no because like it just makes sense ok i cant explain it but it does#i WOULD say all of them have a brand onto them but i just cant feasibly find a way for it to happen#but i WANT it to. I WANT IT. ill find a way man TRUST#back with the l8 nite posts hmmm why do i only think about mtt post dinner tine nowadays. anyways#when people make horror animalistic and feral and stuff (i dont care much for that characterization of him)#he should have a brand somewhere#mtt are so fucked up they probably do that shit to each other and there must be ONE time it wasn't consensual#god i need them to want eachother. not need. just want#killer's brand is probably on his goddamn soul or something#dust's would be on his palms i feel. or backs of hand. he cant forget about it that way#and horror's would be inside his skull it gets itchy a lot#hot iron or cold??? killer's would be red iron hot i feel. probably something that happened in smth new with chara#and then dust's would also be hot because he can handle it#horror the pussy he is would not do that shit with hot iron he'd do it cold#someone else take this idea from me its a good idea i just idk what 2 do about it#tricule rant
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