#can barely handle hand holding thats how far gone i am

[princescar]

he forgot to eat

yall know i gotta draw them as vampires once a month or i'll combust. Probably the most intimate thing i'll ever draw (i almost died)

[hxseok-honee]

atlas heart || part 28

a/n : aha,,, ahaha,,,,, listen, i know this is a jimin au okay I KNOW -- but this chapter belongs to jung hoseok and thats that im sorry

previous | next

tag list!! [closed]

@deepseavibez @siredjoonie @kawaii-desv @knadiuniverse @anxious-reading @catbugsugarpea @cahowlkook @amoreguk @taekookandyoongi @nogitsune-sama @whitetshirtsrus @gustavkonrad @lilacdreams-00 @seungkwanismyaesthetic @mochiteddybear @cosmicdaylight @helpitskpop @lovetootie2x @unnoticeableparadox @applejuice218 @amicalostgirl @bad-idea-personified @moralita76 @yoongiscrackhead @thebleuprince @jooniesmind @incredibleella @missbowkimjinju @marifujioka @evil-ian @uqhgood @milky-way-bitch @yellohoshi @agust-suck-my-d @okaysoplshelpme @cutehoshii @dreamcatcherjiah @butterflylion @thesunisup-theskyisblue @thealexalcala​  @yoonjibby​ @baepsaekid​ @surviving-in-neverland​ @blaisezabini​ @melswolf​ @michiiedreamer​ @minimochimin @ebeanz​ @bts-bambi​ @sleepyje0n

_______________________________

When Y/n finds Jimin down by the lake, she feels that every fiber of her being wants her to turn back, wants her to run and hide under her blankets -- as if she’s the one that needs protecting from him. He doesn’t see her until she’s a few feet away, approaching him from the shoreline. The smile he gives her when he turns is kind but reserved, like he’s preoccupied. She lets out an awkward laugh.

“Why did you want to meet down here in the middle of the night? Way to be weird, Jimin.” He rolls his eyes playfully, nudging her with his elbow before gesturing back toward the ground not far away, covered in grass instead of the sand here by the water. Y/n follows him there, taking a seat next to him with question marks in her eyes when he doesn’t answer her. He snickers at her confusion.

“You’re really stuck on this, huh? Maybe I just wanted to look at the stars with you.” Her features scrunch up cutely as she reacts to his admittedly cheesy one-liner, and he feels the tips of his ears go red. “Okay, I swear that sounded better in my head.” She grins before turning away, looking up at the sky in contemplation. Jimin thinks that maybe, in other circumstances, they really would have been able to sit here together in peaceful silence and watched the stars all night long. He hates that he has to ruin it.

“I actually… I have to talk to you.” She doesn’t pull her gaze from the sky, but he does notice that her expression has clouded over with something he can’t place. It looks a lot like resignation. Swallowing once and trying to shake out his nervous limbs as subtly as possible, he takes a single deep breath before turning his upper body to face her. She still won’t look at him.

“I know you’re probably going to hate my guts after this, and I completely deserve that because I’m selfish and stupid, and I’m too nosy for my own good, and I never should have pushed so much, but I--”

“I know.”

“Yeah, I know you know that I’m an idiot, and that I’m annoying, and that I ask too many questi--”

“Jimin, I know.” He stops then, and the look of pure confusion he gives her breaks her heart. She has no idea that the pained expression she’s giving him is breaking his. She can’t even keep her eyes on him when she continues. “I know that you know.”

Jimin jaw drops, and he gets the idea that he looks a bit like a dying fish, closing and opening his mouth as he tries to figure out how to continue. He hadn’t planned for this turn of events when he’d practiced the conversation in his head.

“You -- but how? Was I too obvious?” He sits up straight, terrified that his suspicious behavior had already gotten her into more danger. “Did I do something that risked your secret? What was it? Tell me so I can make sure never to do it again--” Y/n’s eyes shut as she sighs, and she quiets him with a shake of her head.

“Dumbledore told me, the day after you’d gone to see him. He wanted to warn me.” Jimin stares at the side of her head, processing that she’d known almost two weeks that he’d figured everything out, but she hadn’t confronted him about it. “I haven’t told the boys yet, but I’ve been freaking out about it. I wanted to talk to you right away, but… I decided to wait until you were ready to talk about it…” Her eyes flick to him, but at the sight of his gaze fixed completely on her, his attention fully hers, she looks away. “I was scared that you hated me. Even when you kept reaching out and talking to me, I felt like… maybe you hadn’t realized exactly what I am or what that means. I was waiting for you to leave me. Or expose me. I don’t know. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“I would never do that to you.” It falls out his mouth, feeling oddly like a confession when he says it without thinking and is immediately embarrassed. He clears his throat when she looks up at him with wide eyes, scratching awkwardly at his collarbone. “I needed time to process… not that you’re a werewolf, but that I had been such a fucking idiot the entire time. I should have listened to your friends and just let you be. I was nosy and selfish and objectively really annoying, and I hadn’t even realized that they were just trying to keep you safe by pushing me away. I’m really sorry, Y/n… for endangering you like that.”

He won’t look at her -- he can’t. But when a cold hand closes around his own, squeezing gently, he at least is able to look in her direction. She squeezes again, and, with as much courage as he’s ever had to gather at once, he lifts his eyes to meet her. She looks to be on the edge of tears, but she’s smiling at him, and it confuses him to no end.

“You’re not… mad? Because I completely understand if you are--”

“I’m not mad, Jimin. I’m kind of relieved that you know now, even if I am probably going to always be scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize that I’m a monster and run for your life.” He breathes out a laugh, knowing that she’s not joking. He just can’t imagine a version of himself, now or ever, that would look at her and see anything but the girl he’d been desperate to befriend all this time.

“I’m not going anywhere, Y/n. I want to help you, if that’s okay. I want to do anything I can to help keep you safe.” It’s then that she pulls away from him, her expression turning apprehensive. Jimin takes one look at her and assumes it must be about her friends. “I know that Hoseok and Jungkook don’t like me, but I can talk to them if you want me to! I can explain myself and make sure they know that I’m just trying to help--” She shakes her head suddenly, cutting him off with a wave of her hands. She can already tell how her conversation with them later tonight will go, dreading having to ask them to meet so she can break the news.

“No, it’s not them… I’ll handle the boys -- it’s probably better that you aren’t there when they lose their minds, so I’ll talk to them. It’s just… things are more complicated than you think. It’s not really as simple as helping me… there are things you still don’t know, and it’s not my place to tell you…” Jimin thinks back to the way Dumbledore had called the situation ‘infinitely more complicated’ than he knew, and the way Y/n’s talking right now has him going out on a limb.

“Is this… about Remus Lupin?” Y/n meets his eyes with alarm, her breath catching audibly in her throat, and Jimin knows he’s right. “He’s… like you, right? His friends are involved, too.” She gapes at him, unsure how to respond.

“How…” He looks away, rubbing at his neck uncomfortably.

“Well, the night I figured things out -- it was a few days before the full moon, so your symptoms were a little more apparent at the time. I saw him in the Great Hall the next day, and he was looking just like you… and his friends, they act a lot like Jungkook and Hoseok sometimes… it wasn’t hard to put it together.” Y/n sits there in silence, not certain if Jimin is just really observant and was hyper-aware of everything because he’d just realized such a monumental secret, or if she needs to talk to the Marauders and her own friends about being less conspicuous. Probably both. She barely hears Jimin when he starts talking again.

“Is… that what’s keeping you from letting me help? I swear I won’t say anything -- I’ll even pretend I don’t know about him. I’ll do anything.” She watches him as he starts to devolve into what’s probably the third rant in the last half hour alone, and she knows he’s desperate to prove himself to her. He doesn’t need to -- he’d made his innocence and kindness clear to her long before he’d had any idea of her affliction. It’s everything about him, really, that’s causing her so much pain. She’s scared for him.

“Jimin… are you sure this is what you want? We’re in the middle of a war… and you’re a muggleborn. If anyone were to find me out, and they link us… I don’t know what would happen to you. Everything’s so delicate and dangerous, I don’t know if I can put you in that kind of danger.” This time it’s Jimin that reaches out for her, slipping his fingers through her own and linking their hands once he has her in his hold. He looks entirely level-headed when he looks her in the eye and responds.

“I’m with you, Y/n. I’m with you.”

--

Y/n stares up at the entrance to Slytherin common room, a deep frown set into her features. She’d made what she’d believed to be the right choice by not having Jungkook and Hoseok in the same room when she told them about Jimin -- they have a habit of enabling each other’s worst characteristics, and the last thing she wants to deal with is two enraged boys in the middle of the night. But now that she’s here, having just left a furious Jungkook in the room of requirement, she’s not looking forward to having this conversation again.

Jungkook had been surprisingly calm when she’d broken to him that Jimin had discovered her secret, but if there’s only one thing in the world that Y/n can say with complete confidence, it’s that she knows Jeon Jungkook. The look of complete ease that he’d given her had terrified her far beyond any explosion of anger. She almost prefers that he had reacted. It had taken her the better half of an hour to calm him down, only feeling comfortable texting Hoseok that she was on her way to him when she’d seen an emotion cross Jungkook’s eyes other than blank detachment. Even then, it was only annoyance at the fact that she refused to let him “talk” to Jimin on his own.

Now, it’s almost 3am, and Y/n’s only brushing away her tragic attempt at reasoning with Jungkook when the door to the Slytherin common room slides open, revealing a sleepy-eyed, bedhead-ridden Hoseok. He’s only half-dressed, clearly unable to be bothered to care about his appearance this late at night. He scratches at his bare collarbone with one finger while he squints at her, his blatant concern hidden slightly by how disgruntled he looks.

“Do you have any idea what time it is? Why would you do this to me?” Y/n snorts, knowing from experience how objectively rude Hoseok can be in the first few minutes of being awake. She hopes he stays bogged down by his sleep-deprived mind long enough that he doesn’t completely lose it when she talks to him. She glances past him into the common room before responding.

“Is there somewhere we can talk in private? I have something to tell you.” Immediately, the sleep is gone from Hoseok’s eyes, and Y/n mourns the hope that he wouldn’t be clear-minded during their conversation. He nods once, pointing over his shoulder.

“My room’s fine.”

“Isn’t Yoongi there?” Hoseok shakes his head, a slight smile gracing his features while he explains.

“He got a call from Kim Seokjin not that long ago -- something about a late-night snack run and how eating alone is ‘a lonely habit’.” He shrugs, and Y/n guesses that Yoongi must get dragged out against his will by Kim Seokjin quite often if Hoseok is unbothered by it. Hoseok points again in the direction of his bedroom, and Y/n only follows with a nod.

By the time they return to his room, Hoseok’s awake enough to be self-conscious, so he’s searching for a shirt immediately, gesturing for Y/n to close the door behind her. Then he flops down onto his bed, crossing his legs and patting the spot at the end of his mattress for her. When she decides to remain standing, running her fingers along the edge of his bedpost awkwardly, Hoseok squints, suspicious.

“What happened?” Y/n closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, looking Hoseok head-on and ripping the metaphorical band-aid off.

“Jimin knows about me. He just told me. Before you say anything, we talked about it, and--”

“That little shit--” Hoseok’s standing from his bed, fists balled up in rage as he heaves out an enraged breath. “When I get my hands on that nosy, obnoxious fucking twerp--”

“Hoseok, wait! Wait.” Y/n holds her hands out in front of her, planting them on his chest while she stares up at him with wide eyes. “It’s okay! It’s fine, we talked! He’s not going to say anything to anyone, even about the stuff with Remus--” She’ll admit that saying that last part probably wasn’t her best idea, considering how Hoseok reacts, blind with fury.

“What do you mean? What does that mean?!” He’s growing louder now, and Y/n knows she has to calm him down before he wakes the entirety of Slytherin house. Taking his face in her hands, she tries to force him to focus solely on her, but it only results in Hoseok gripping at her wrists, desperation clear in the way his hold is shaking. He’s looking at her with wild eyes, demanding an explanation for something so wholly unacceptable, but Y/n can’t give that to him while he’s like this.

“Hoseok, I need you to breathe, okay? I’m okay. I will be okay. But I need you to lower your voice and breathe. Don’t think about anything else.” This display -- a total loss of control -- is what she’d expected from Jungkook, but the boy who’d been beside her their entire lives must have known better than to show his ruthless side and risk upsetting her. In this moment, Hoseok, who’s always so keen on hiding himself behind a mask, is seeing red the way he never has before, and that’s what scares Y/n most.

“Eyes on me, Hobi, hm? Look at me -- I’m right here, and I’m okay. Look at me. See? I’m perfectly fine. Nothing’s gonna happen to me, I promise.” She’d somehow managed to bring him down from his erratic high, keeping his face close until she could see in his eyes that he’s looking only at her. His breath is ragged, and if she thinks she’s caught the slightest tremble of his bottom lip when he opens his mouth, he’s hiding it well. But what he whispers to her breaks her heart clean in half.

“You can’t promise me that. The more people that know about you, the harder it is for me to trick myself into believing you.” Taking a breath to stop herself from tearing up, she releases him slowly, stepping back when he only moves to sit back down on the edge of his bed.

“Hobi… you can’t do anything to Jimin, okay? You can’t confront him or do anything rash. I mean it.” It takes a few moments, but finally Hoseok is lifting his eyes to meet hers. He nods, and Y/n knows that’s all she’ll be able to get out of him. She wishes it was enough, that weak agreement, but if there’s one other thing in the world she can say with complete confidence, it’s that she doesn’t know Hoseok quite as well as she knows Jungkook.

--

Jimin’s on his way to class the next morning, lost in his thoughts about Y/n -- he can’t seem to focus on anything else these days -- when he’s unceremoniously dragged by the back of his robes into an empty classroom and shoved against the nearest wall. Hissing at the pain, he barely has time to slump over and catch his breath before he’s being pinned back against the cold stone by a pair of very determined hands.

He stills completely when he finally lifts his gaze and meets the eyes of Jung Hoseok. The Slytherin is visibly furious, his glare almost manic as he pushes Jimin’s shoulders back into the wall. He only lets up when an involuntary cry of pain escapes Jimin, but he never lets the boy go.

“Now, you’re going to listen to what I have to say, and you’re going to listen closely. Yeah?” Jimin isn’t sure it’s a question that needs answering, considering that he’s literally trapped, but the increased pressure of Hoseok’s knuckles on his chest has him nodding frantically. Hoseok doesn’t release him when he leans down into his face.

“For some ungodly reason, Y/n has decided that you can be trusted, and I’m sure you loved that she said she’d talk to us so you wouldn’t have to do it yourself, huh? But I think that you deserve to have the whole picture, Park -- look at me when I’m talking to you.” Jimin had shut his eyes simply from the proximity of Hoseok’s hateful glare, unable to handle it, but when the older boy shakes him roughly, he opens his eyes so wide that he’s terrified to even blink.

“This game you’re playing? Using your obvious little crush on Y/n as an excuse to pry into her business and put her in danger just because you like sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong? It needs to stop. Because you don’t know all the rules, Jimin. And you don’t get any do-overs.” Jimin can feel the grip on his shirt starting to tremble, and at first he thinks maybe Hoseok’s so enraged that he’s actually shaking, but the glint in his eye tells Jimin differently. It tells him that Hoseok is scared -- he’s terrified. The uncertainty of Jimin’s existence in Y/n’s life -- not knowing if this is going to end badly for them -- it’s scaring him, and Jimin gets the feeling that Hoseok’s someone who deals with fear by being angry. Taking a very big risk, he whispers out to the 7th year.

“I swear, I just want to hel--agh!” Squeezing his eyes shut when Hoseok lifts him away from the wall and promptly slams him back into it, he doesn’t finish his plea. He can feel Hoseok’s breath fanning angrily over his face, and he swears a low growl rumbles from deep within the Slytherin’s chest when he responds.

“Shut up! You don’t know what that even means. You don’t know how to help. All you’ve done is screw things up for us, so let me welcome you into our little group with a warning.” A hand clamps the sides of Jimin’s jaw, lifting his face and squeezing hard until Jimin opens his eyes to look at Hoseok.

“You get one chance, so if you even come close to screwing that up, Y/n is the last thing you’ll have to worry about. Clear?” Jimin nods again, the hand on his face making that incredibly difficult. Finally, Hoseok releases him and steps back, watching with unmasked annoyance as Jimin fixes his clothes and rubs at all the spots he’s sure will be bruised by morning. They stare at each other, Hoseok eventually rolling his eyes with a sigh.

“Y/n told me you want to help. She asked me to mentor you in potion-making. I only agreed to it because she’s very stubborn when she wants to be, and someone needs to take over her doses. I won’t go easy on you, so you better be ready for a summer of hell. I need to know she’ll be safe with you once I’m gone, and frankly, I don’t even trust you to boil a pot of fucking water, much less a dangerous, highly sensitive potion.” Jimin swallows hard but doesn’t comment on the blatant insult, only processing that Jung Hoseok has agreed to train him.

Hoseok’s eyes flicker to the door, and Jimin takes that as his cue that the conversation -- if that’s what this was -- is finished, so he wanders out of the room in a slight daze, Hoseok following closely. As if the universe is telling him that this moment can, in fact, get much worse, Jimin meets the eyes of one Jeon Jungkook as the Gryffindor happens to be passing on the way to class. Where Hoseok’s glare was unbridled fire and rage, Jungkook’s gaze is turning to pure ice, and Jimin can’t decide which is worse. Jungkook doesn’t even acknowledge him as he passes, breaking eye contact and going on his way as if Jimin doesn’t even exist. Hoseok chuckles darkly behind him.

“I almost feel bad for you, Jimin. If you think you have it bad with me, you’re in for a real treat with Jungkook.”

[brelione]

The Countertop (Topper,Rafe,Kelce X Reader)

The Best Boys Masterlist

When Rafe got the text he was in the bathroom of the yacht,blood coming from his nose as he stuffed the small bag of white powder back into the pocket of his khakis.He heard the ding,looking over to check the notification.He felt his heart drop,regretting the line he just did. 

“Panic attack,(Y/N)’s house.”Was all the text said.Topper had sent it to the group chat with him,Kelce and Rafe.Rafe cursed,looking up in the mirror at his bloodshot,dilated eyes.He certainly couldnt help you,not when he was like this.He pinched his nose for a moment or two,letting it drip into the sink before he rinsed it down the drain,leaving the bathroom and putting his phone in his pocket.

He looked around at the groups of people,eventually finding Wheezie and gripping her shoulders. “I need you to cover for me.”He told her,completely serious.She frowned,looking over at Ward. “Where are you going?”She asked.He sighed,looking over the side of the huge boat to look at the Jet Ski that was tied by a thin rope. “(Y/N) needs help.”Was all he said,quickly thanking her before running down the flights of stairs to get to the lowest floor,gripping onto the railing and getting onto the jetski.

He tucked his phone into the pocket of his shirt,ripping the rope before gliding through the water as fast as possible,guessing on how to get to your house.He knew how to get to his house,at least.So thats where he ended up.He got onto his own dock,sprinting around the front of his house and getting into his truck,going way too far over the speed limit.

He pulled into your driveway,slamming on the brakes so he wouldnt crash into your garage.His door was opened before the truck was even parked,seeing Kelce’s car parked on the sidewalk.Rafe burst through your door,heart aching when he saw you sobbing,Kelce trying to talk to you while Topper rubbed your bare back. “What the hell happened?”He asked,not even understanding the situation.

You opened your mouth,trying to talk but only a sob came out,Topper pulling you back to him and tracing shapes along yout arm,whispering sweet nothings to you to try and help.He sent a glance towards Rafe,shaking his head.Rafe closed the door,sitting on the arm of the couch,slowly stealing you away from Topper and moving onto the couch,letting you squeeze him as tight as you needed too and he could feel your shallow breaths through his shirt.

Kelce was watching you,watching as the tears stopped falling,your eyes puffy and your bottom lip trembling.Rafe felt your grip on him becoming less tight,too weak to do squeeze him.He didnt move his arm away from you,knowing that if you were ready to let go you would push away from him. “What’s going on,princess?”He asked softly,careful to make sure his voice didnt come out harsh or shaky.

You gulped,licking you lips that tasted like salt and metal. “I hate my mom.”Was all you could say,your voice cracking.He nodded,kissing your forehead. “I know,baby.I know.”He answered,taking in a big breath.You huffed,pulling away from him,wiping your eyes with the back of your hands. “So how are you guys?”You asked,struggling not to cry again.

Kelce grinned slightly,squeezing your hand. “Im good,sweetheart.Do you want to talk about whats happening with your mom or do you want to be distracted by it?”He asked,tapping at your knuckles.You shrugged,feeling more sick than anything. “Okay,well why dont we go out to the pool so you can cool off then?”He suggested.You nodded,not fully away from Rafe yet.

Something was off with him.His hair looked like he had been pulling at it and he was more tense than usual,seeming like he was holding something back. “Um...you and Top have bathing suits upstairs.”You mumbled,your hand gripping the fabric of Rafe’s shirt.Topper nodded,tapping your ankle before he got up,Kelce giving you a small smile before going upstairs as well.You pulled away from Rafe,feeling your legs becoming tingly and your heart speed up,eyes watery. 

“Are you high right now?”You asked,a few tears sliding down your cheeks.He swallowed,looking away from you,eyes widening as he realised that he had just given himself away. “Rafe-you drove here high?”You asked,your voice high,eyes stinging.He nodded,not able to look back at you. 

“Jesus Christ-are you crazy?You couldve crashed or died or killed someone!I cant lose you-I cant fucking do it and mom is fucking gone and-and if I lose you what the fuck am I supposed to do?I dont understand why-I dont understand why you cant just-fuck.”You sniffled,trying to figure out what you were going to say.He looked up at you,feeling a lump in his throat. 

“You needed me here so I did what i had to do.”He answered,reaching for your hand only for you to pull away from him. “I hate you.”You mumbled,sniffing.His jaw dropped,a wave of nausea hitting him. “You cant mean that.”He whispered.Of course you didnt mean that.You could never hate Rafe even if you really wanted too. “You might fucking overdose or something.”You whispered,wanting nothing more than to cup his face and kiss him,tell him all your thoughts and twirl his fingers in your hair.

He shook his head,glancing over at the staircase every couple of seconds. “I wont,I wont.I dont do that much.”As the words came from his mouth he realised just how bad they sounded. “Bullshit.What happened in my bathroom then?That looked like a lot to me.”You took in a big breath,trying not to let yourself spiral again.

He just stared at you,hearing the other boys coming down the stairs. “We can talk about this later,okay?”He asked,leaning forward slightly.You nodded,looking over to see Topper and Kelce in their blue and grey bathing suits.Kelce stared at Rafe,silently telling him to go get changed.Rafe nodded,prying his eyes off of you and getting off the couch,heading upstairs.

Kelce sat down across from you where Rafe had previously been,his hands in his lap. “Do you need an ibuprofen or a hug?”He asked.You swallowed,leaning forward and resting your head against him,your arms around his bare shoulders. “THis sucks.”You mumbled,closing your eyes.He nodded,running his pointer finger along your spine. “I know,I know.Things will get better though.”He answered,his hands holding both sides of your head as he placed a kiss against your hairline.

You got up eventually,going upstairs to your room to grab a bathing suit,colliding your fist against the wood out of anger.Anger towards your mom,anger towards yourself,anger towards Rafe’s addiction.Rafe stood in the door way,confused as to what the loud bang he had heard was.You didnt notice him,throwing the clothes from your drawers all over the room,smacking the top of your dresser,your jaw clenching.

You brought your arm back to punch the wood again,only for someone to grab your arm,spin you around and push you against your dresser. “You have to calm down.”He whispered,holding tight on your wrists.You avoided eye contact,glancing down at his bare chest. “I am calm.”You replied,pushing him away as you went to find the one peice bathing suit that you had thrown across the floor.

He was just glad that you werent as bad now as you had been the last time he watched you get like this.You had started to punch yourself in the thighs and ankles until they were bruising.He had to pin your hands on top of your head and beg you to calm down.It had scared the living shit out of him.He probably couldve handled it better but Kelce wasnt there to talk to you which left just him to take care of things.

You finally found the black sim suit,not even caring at this point,tearing off your pants and kicking them into the corner.Rafe bit his lip,forcing himself to turn around.He heard the straps of the bathing suit smack against your shoulder,walking up next to him to grab a tshirt from your drawer and pull it on over the bathing suit,leaving your room and not bothering to clean up the mess that you had made.

He looked around your room,deciding he could just clean it up for you later.He followed behind you,noticing that the boys had already gone out to the pool. “Hey,lets talk.”He spoke,stopping you as you walked through the kitchen. “What?What do you want to talk about?”You asked,leaning against the kitchen counter.He sighed,his hands on the marble countertop o either side of you,staring down at you.

 “Whatever you want.I’ll answer whatever you want me to.”He replied.You nodded,thinking of everything you wanted to know.  “Whatever I want?”You asked.He nodded.“Have you….god,I dont know.Have you ever like….hurt someone when you were high?”You asked,knowing the answer when he started to bite the inside of his cheek. “Yeah,I have.I’d never hurt you though,if thats what your asking.”His hands tightened around the marble,watching as you bit your lip.

 “What about Top and Kelce?Have they ever done drugs?”You asked,nearly gasping when you saw him nod. “Did you make them do it?”You asked,dreading the answer. “I didnt force them to do it...Kelce only did it once and he only did one line.Top did three a couple months back.”Rafe answered,being as honest as he could with you. 

“When did it get this bad?You used to only do one line a week and now you’re doing like,a line a day.”You instinctively sat on the countertop,barely any space between you two.He cleared his throat,not knowing what to say because he didnt want to send you back into panic. “I know,im trying to get better.I’ve never done it in your house,like ever.You know that.”He reminded you,keeping his distance.

He figured that if he touched you at all you’d become insecure or angry,swat his hand away and probably begin to cry again. “Im not mad at you,you know that,right?”You asked,feeling your nose start to run again.You quickly pulled up your shirt,pinching your nose with the fabric.He nodded,tapping his short finger nials on the marble counter.The conversation went on for probably five minutes before the big question came,the one that you had been dreading.

 “Do you have any on you right now?”You asked,not even caring at this point.When the conversation began and you hadnt been shocked by any of his answers you probably wouldve been upset when he nodded.You werent upset,or shocked or even mad.Just numb. “I thought you were out on the boat,”You saw him frown,not understanding where you were going with this. “So how did you drive here?”You asked.He simply shrugged his shoulders,staring down at his feet.

 “I jumped off the side and got on the jet ski.”He answered,making you smile slightly. “You got onto the jetski and then drove over here?”You asked,your hand sliding down his arm and your fingers intertwining with his.He became less tense,his other hand no longer gripping the marble so hard that his fingertips were turning purple. “Yeah,I just peaced out.”He laughed quietly,his forehead resting onto your collarbone.You licked your lips,legs wrapping around his waist comfortably.

If only you knew the things that he felt within him when you did that. “Hey,”You mumbled,making him pick up his head a bit. “Do you….do you remember when you kissed me?”You asked,feeling him tense under you,his head moving off of your collarbone,staring down at you. 

“Yeah.”He answered.You nodded,hands ending up in your lap. “Did you tell Kelce?”You asked,not even understanding why you had asked that.Kelce had always been extremely important to you.He was the one person you could trust with your insecurities or ask him for coping mechanisms.Now you were starting to wonder if maybe you had a thing for Kelce.

Everyone was making you question your feelings and your sanity. “I mean,I kind of had too.You know how he is,he figures shit out by body language and he knows when something is going on.I dont even know,hes the only one that ever payed attention to Criminal Minds,im not even gonna lie to you.”he replied,biting his lip as he waited for your reaction,only to hear the sliding door open.

His head whipped around,seeing Kelce standing there with water dripping from him. “Are you guys okay?Its been like ten minutes since you’ve changed.”Kelce looked over at you,more specifically the position you were in with Rafe practically on top of you. 

“Yeah,yeah we’re fine.I was just talking about life.”You slowly got off the counter,flicking at Rafe’s thigh as you slid past him and walked by Kelce,going to sit in the shallow end of the pool.Kelce watched you,positive you couldnt hear as he entered the house,closing the sliding door and glaring at Rafe. “Did you say something to her?”He asked.

Rafe shook his head,attempting to walk past him only for Kelce to put a hand on his shoulder and hold him in place. “Why does she look more upset than she was ten minutes ago?”He asked,pushing further. “Because she found out that im high and got mad about it.We talked it out and now everything is fine,okay?”Rafe nodded a bit,sliding the door and walking out of the house,Kelce sighing.

Things were getting messy and he was always the one to hold things together.But now he wasnt even sure if he wanted to do that anymore.He stood in your house for a couple more minutes,finally putting a smile on his face and walking back out,seeing Topper kneeling in front of you and splashing water into your face.

You were squealing at the cold water,grabbing Topper by his wrists and pushing him back into the water,his hair becoming soaked and sticking to his forehead. “YOU BITCH!”Topper shouted,throwing you over his shoulder and running through the water and into the deep end,your legs wrapping around him tight so he’d go down with you.

Rafe grinned at your laughing,you rubbing your eyes and slicking your hair back out of your face.Kelce was tense,trying to soften up again but between Rafe’s smirk as he watched you,Topper holding you and the face that so much was happening was making him a bit mad.He stuck his feet in the pool,not paying attention to much except for the clouds that were moving at sloths pace.

He felt two warm hands wrap around his shins,trying to drag him into the water.He grinned,kicking his feet and forcing you to let go. “You’re no fun.”You pouted,elbows on his thighs as you stared up at your friend.He grinned,shrugging at he ringed the water from your hair. “You seem like you’re in a mood,whats up?”You asked,ignoring Rafe’s stare. “I dunno,kind of just stressed.”He answered,holding onto your hands as he moved his feet in circles underwater.

 “Did you eat today?”You deepened your voice,grinning as he flicked you on the head. “Shut up.”He smiled,licking his lips. “Do you want to have a movie night tonight?I kind of just want to forget about things,you know?”You asked,tapping your fingers on his chest.He nodded,agreeing. “What movie do you want to watch?”He asked,helping you out of the pool so you could sit next to him.

 “I dont know,maybe a horror movie.I feel like it’ll get my mind off of reality.”You replied,squinting as the sunlight hit your eyes,not aware of the silver car that had just pulled into your driveway,someone walking right into your house as you sat at the pool with your friends.

@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky @jjjmaybank @gracelovesbroadway  @one-stella @outerbongs  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​ @spn-marvel-nerd​ @i-love-scott-mccall 

Comment with a star if youd like to be added to the series taglist.

[nightswithkookmin]

Imo there is enough to support the possibility of a romantic relationship, but you are writing full on narratives with impossible specificity. You know what confirmation bias is but some young impressionable people dont yet . Forgive me but misleading with ' alt facts' can hurt someone even if you dont mean it. I think you are a good person not looking to hurt anyone. But the way you postulate without any evidence makes your actions a little but like those of a charlatan. Peace and kindness

All these kind words you spew...

It feels more like an advice than a question so I'm not sure how to respond to it...

Let me just say thank you? I never quite understood what the brouhaha was about with my posts but after talking to a few people, 'on the other side' lol and reading your Ask, I think I'm starting to get a better sense of what the problem is.

Something about young impressionable minds or people?

Let the council of elders know, those are not my audience please. I cater to a much more mature audience- at least so far. The people that I interact with and engage with on my posts on and off Tumblr are very mature and not impressionable at all.

They are People with brains who can tell an opinion from fact and can engage in deep complex controversial conversations without throwing up, shedding tears or cussing through to the heavens.

If there are 'impressionable people' reading my blogs- they do so at their own risk. If you know any such people or they run to you with my theories kindly point out to them it's just theory because that's what my opinions are.

I think the best thing you can do is to advice such people to grow up if they are going to sit at the adult table or not read my posts at all. I think you need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions.

The best I can do in this case- to hold myself accountable, is to put up a disclaimer on my posts to let people know what it is that they are reading- something I do quite often. But I will make conscious efforts to put up those disclaimers each time henceforth. Thank you.

That I write full on narratives with impossible specificity:

Is this Latin for, 'you write fiction get the fuck outta here?' Chilee.

I don't even know what you mean by this exactly so I may not be able to respond to it to your satisfaction. Bare with me.

So what if I write fiction? What is wrong with writing fiction? Do you hate fiction writers? I don't get what the hate is with these complaints honestly. Do you want me to put up a disclaimer stating my blogs are fiction? Would that help? I would glady do it.

If it helps you sleep at night think of my blogs as fiction- a rose by any other name. I've been keeping up with Shakespeare. Lol.

I don't think it's that deep. Listen, you gotta understand that just because we both 'ship' Jikook don't mean we are on the same team...

Most alt shippers I know and who read my posts and engage with it are not even Army to begin with, for your information. They could care less about these shipping politics of yours. Have you thought about that?

Some simply ship JK and JM and support them because they believe they are members of the LGBTQ plus community not because they are part of BTS.

There are different communities out there who are also into Jikook- for very different reasons. You gotta respect that.

To you, Jikook is just a ship within BTS that may or may not be real, but to some of us they have very much outgrown that description...

They are a brand of their own, a power couple and members of the LGBTQ plus community- Gay Icons extraordinaire. I think we take very different stock in Jikook. So stop trying to fit us all into one box.

It's disrespectful to try and control the way that people perceive their OTP and support them. Jikook don't just belong to Army Jokers, they belong to different communities outside Army. Are you aware of that?

And please don't confuse the intersect. I am an alt-shipper yes but I just so happen to be an Army too. But if I wasn't an Army, I'd still pretty much 'ship' and support Jikook- make no mistake. There are quite a few of us running around these streets, you know?

So you have every right to want to gatekeep your Army Jikook- but you have to do that without infringing on other rights of other 'Jikook communities.'

Throughout my blogs I have tried to shed light on what altshipping is because I thought it would help bridge the gap but clearly that hasn't worked. Sigh.

Misleading alt facts

Do you not know what it means or you are just being ironic?👀

Why is it ok for you to believe and proclaim that JK and BigHit lied about JK dating the Tattoo artist but it's not ok for me to believe JK is telling the truth when he says he didn't date her and that BigHit saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone- hence why they didn't press charges against the shop for breach of privacy like they had said they were going to do. Instead, they had asked the shop to keep calm till the scandal died down on it's own?

You start your piece off with the whole, 'there is enough evidence to support a romantic relationship' between JK and the tattoo shop lady- I assume.

For context, this Ask by this anon is in response to my recent post/ answer on the tattoo girl scandal where the topic of discussion was on BigHit, JK and the tattoo artist and not Jikook perse.

A statement that is in direct conflict with JK's statement, BigHit's and the lady in questions, all denying that there was a romantic relationship between her and Jungkook- and somehow I am misleading who- who now with my theory??? Chileee.

Do you see the problem here? Double standards- the hallmark of bigotry. Lmho. You are literally doing the very thing you are accusing me of. Making confident assertions and claiming you know more about JK and the Lady's relationship and even have 'enough evidence' contrary to BigHit, JK and the Tattoo artist's statements denying the rumors- at least when I theorize I admit I'm being delusional. What's your excuse? When you say charlatan are you referring to yourself? You must be. Lmho.

Now I'm confident in my comprehension skills and intelligent enough to know when you make an assertion like this- it is your opinion and you are just stating your opinion. If you are not then honey you'd be opening yourself up to some serious litigation... goodluck I guess. Lol.

You are allowed to form an opinion about a topic. There is nothing wrong with that. If to you, JK and this person dated that is fine. I am not going to cyber bully you, stalk you, throw slurs at you, harrass you, dox you, slid into people's Dms to spread hate and lies about you just because I don't agree with your opinion. And for the record, I don't agree with your opinion. Hehehehe.

I have stated my opinion on the matter. I said I think JK and this person did hang out, go on dates but that there was no romantic sexual relationship between them because I believe that would have had much serious consequences and effects on Jikooks dynamics no matter how much they tried to keep a cool facade. Whoever felt cheated on would have acted more insecure than usual post the incident- how does this make me a charlatan? Are you saying it's wrong it have an opinion? Chileee.

Now if you can produce 'evidence' of them having sex or even kissing, then I will gladly change my mind on the topic and not sweat it.

Jikook have done way worse questionable things in 7 good years and people still don't believe they are dating. Jk hangs out with a female friend a few times in less than a month and suddenly he is dating her? Lmho.

You don't need me to tell you people are more eager to accept a heterosexual relationship than wrap their heads around the fact that two male idols are gay and in a gay relationship with eachother. Don't you just love it when homophobia meets heteronormativity and stinks? I do. Lol.

I mean this is a fandom that thinks JK is 'too touchy' and doesn't respect his boundaries- they practically swear JK is cheating on Jimin with every member any time he hugs, kisses, wings at within the group. You think they will be 'objective' about JK hanging out with a girl? Even if it happened once?

You said something about confirmation bias.... I will not touch it. Lmho.

This is not the first time JK has gone on a date with a girl. This is not the first time he has 'dated a girl', he has hand girls on his laps or whatever- what is a back hug? I think people need to stop defining Jikook's lives by their own standards. If a backhug is intimate to you. Thats you. If you think a grown ass man cannot hang out with a female friend, that's equally you.

You think if he thought it was inappropriate and risky he would do it 'in public?' Get with Kpop Idol dating culture. Lmho.

Do you know the lengths they go through to keep their relationships a secret? Especially non celebrity girlfriends? Chen from EXO got married and where is his wife? They keep their flings tighter than Trump keeps his toupee on his head. Lol.

They hide them not out of shame but out of love and the need to protect their loved ones. These idols have family members who have their restaurants and businesses shut down because they want to keep their privacy.

You think JungKook's girlfriend would- on her own, issue a statement regarding a scandal that Jungkook's agency had specifically directed her and her shop to keep quiet about and lay low till it blew away on its own? And later, started liking couple posts about her and JK? If they were dating, certainly JK would have dumped her after that move. In my opinion.

You think JK would let his fandom drag the person he is in a relationship with to the extent she loses her Job- when in his Itaewon gay pub scandal BigHit referred to the issue as his private affair immediately it happened? They could have kept the same energy with her, no?

They handled his gay pub scandal much better, with much respect and consideration for his privacy- if he dated her sorry but she mustn't have meant much to him at all. And if I were her I would have dumped him for that shit and not stay liking couple posts about us. Damn- But do you.

Taehyung was in a scandal with a girl too- did you see her liking posts and shit and going out of her way to do the most? Did you see how BigHit handled that scandal?

Nothing wrong if JK is 'dating' her or had 'dated' her and whatever person he decides he wants to be in a relationship with I will support him- that's why I support Jikook.

But your opinion is equally valid my guy. Just don't call me a charlatan for mine. You believe they dated, I believe they didn't- and to your impressionable young minds, I hope you are not selling them anything contrary to BigHit and JK's statement. That would be very irresponsible of you. Lol.

What else did you say?

Oh postulating without evidence...

Next time I write a theory based on my observations about Jikook, remind me to break off a piece of my brain and attach it to it- I guess that way people would finally understand when I say things like 'I think' 'in my opinion' 'I feel' 'I believe' that these are just my thoughts and opinions and not facts.

Let me leave you with this:

Peace and kindness. Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY.

[blinder-secrets]

#18 & #19 - John

‘Don’t look her in the eyes. She might steal your soul.’ & ‘Neither one of us is drunk enough to have this conversation.’

prompt list

The room is loud when you enter, filled with laughter and heavy-handed chatter. It isn’t usually a quiet den when occupied by the full Shelby register, but they do seem lighter than normal, chipper like they’ve won something. Why is none of your business, though it does bode well for you in terms of tips. 

‘Ere she is,’ Arthur booms at your arrival. ‘Our lovely y/n.’ 

You didn’t have to say anything; simply appearing as you are, with a freshly filled bucket of ale, is enough to get a warm welcome from them.

‘As ordered, Arthur,’ you reply, thankful to set the thing down. ‘Who’s first?’ 

He holds his glass up without comment. As you take it from him John catches your eye, like he always does, but you look away quickly - you’re working after all. You can’t let yourself get distracted, especially by the likes of John Shelby. The spilt beer wouldn’t be worth it.

You put Arthur’s drink back in place and pick up Johnny Dogs’ in turn, happy to be filling their next round for them. It isn’t the easiest job, but it has its perk, and waiting on the Shelbys’ private room is one of them. Generally, it's a gentler pace in here. They don’t bark orders at you when you’re busy, or question your knowledge of spirits. If they’re talking serious matters, they sit quiet and let you do your duties around them, and when it’s a social gathering like today, they talk to you like a friend.

‘I was wondering, right,’ Arthur starts, looking at you with already glazed eyes, ‘how something as pretty as yourself, stays sane in a place like this?’

Your eyebrows lift. ‘The Garrison, or Birmingham?’

John snorts. He’s sitting back in the bench, his hands linked atop his lap. He’s doing practically nothing, yet you catch yourself looking, and then looking again.

‘Here,’ Arthur grunts. ‘The Garrison.’

‘She’s hardly gonna say anything, is she, Arthur?’ John answers for you. ‘You own the bloody place.’ 

‘Yeah? Well consider it a survey, ay, for my dearest employees.’

Tommy sighs from the seat on your left, showing interest for the first time since you’d entered. ‘She likes it well enough, Arthur, or she wouldn’t be here.’ 

‘I do,’ you agree with smile. ‘I like my job.’

He lifts his hand, gesturing to them that see, you do just fine here. 

‘The men don’t bother ya?’ Arthur continues, insistent in his curiosity. 

It’d be a lie to say yes; sure, there are exceptions, but most of the men are smart enough to watch their words here. Half of them are too scared of the Shelbys to do anything other than order a drink and leave, and the rest make the assumption that any woman present is already spoken for. 

‘Men are always a bother,’ you answer, opting for the lightest route, ‘it’s nothing I can’t handle.’

‘Yeah,’ John chips in, boisterous in their company, ‘don’t look her in the eyes, they say. She might steal your fuckin’ soul.’ He grins, pleased with the chorus of half-laughs around him, and then settles his gaze upon you again. 

You would laugh with them, but you find yourself frowning slightly. He’s always been keen on you, but never so forward, and never so strangely assumptive. You can’t place your finger on it, but there’s something different about him today.

‘Alright, John,’ Tommy says, leaning to tap his cigarette into the nearest ash tray. ‘She’s still on the job. I’ll have another, love.’

You smile and take the glass he’s recently emptied. ‘And stealing poor men’s souls isn’t in my contract, is it Mr. Shelby?’ 

He shrugs. ‘What you do in your own time has nothing to do with me.’

Before you can reply, John’s speaking again, and watching you closely. ‘Speaking of,’ he says, ‘ what’re you doing later?’

                                      ----------------------------------

After recovering from the initial embarrassment, and the flushing of your cheeks, you’d told him nothing: you were doing nothing, so, yes, you’d meet him for a drink. God know’s what you were thinking when you did. 

It’s been two hours since then, and an hour since your shift finished, though it doesn’t feel like it. You’re keeping his company in the now empty private room and, to your surprise, you're enjoying yourself. 

‘You want another?’ John asks from opposite.

You shake your head. ‘I don’t really like beer.’ You only drank the last one out of politeness. 

‘Ay?’ He frowns deeply. ‘Why din’t you say?’

‘You didn’t ask.’ He’d put the glass in front of you the minute you’d sat down, and then again with the second. ‘I’ll have a gin though, if you’re offering.’

He grins, leaving with a slight spring in his gait. Whether it’s from the amount he’s drank, or the fact you are willingly prolonging your time with him, you don’t know. But when he returns, fresh drinks in hand, he’s still smiling. 

‘I told them I’d get you out with me, you know, an they din’t believe me.’

‘Really?’ You can only assume they refers to his brothers. ‘Why?

He shrugs, landing clumsily in the bench-seat. ‘Thought you were above us.’

You laugh once, not believing that either of the older Shelbys would think that. Or even that they’d think that you would think that. In fact, it’s hard to believe that the Shelbys thought anything of you at all. They had no reason to.  

‘Thats... so far from true, John,’ you say, stumped for a better response. 

‘That’s what I said.’ He tuts, looking down to pick a cigarette from the box in his palm. ‘Always fuckin’ doubting me.’

You smile, half-resenting how easily he made you do that. ‘Doubting your charm, I’m sure.’

‘Exactly. No faith in the sport.’ He lights the cigarette, taking a long drag like he’s hungry for it. You can’t stop yourself from watching, it’s so captivating that you forget to challenge him on his last statement; too mesmerised and lazy from the drink to ask if sport meant women, and if women meant you. 

He pulls you back into conversation by asking, ‘If you had to pick, yeah, between us Shelbys, who’d you pick?’

You blink. ‘For what?’ 

‘Y’know...’ He shrugs, attempting to play it off, leaving you to fill the blanks. 

You scoff and reach for the gin. You don’t remember sitting down with a schoolboy, but the more he drinks the worse he gets. ‘Neither one of us is drunk enough to have this conversation’, you tell him, laughing from behind your glass. When you take a sip, the alcohol singes your throat and for a second you miss the sourness of beer. 

‘What if I am?’ he says back. He’s serious, like he’s offended.

‘Then you don’t hold you alcohol well.’

‘Go on,’ he insists, ‘tell me.’

‘Why? What does it matter?’ 

He tuts and takes another drink. His cheeks are rosy, his lids heavy. The cigarette burns away between his fingers.  After a long moment, he says, ‘I thought you could handle yourself, you know.’

You recoil. ‘What d’you mean?’

‘With men. You’ve gone all shy with me.’

‘I definitely have not.’

‘Then why won’t you answer?’ he asks. ‘Pick one.’

‘Fine.’ You set your jaw, holding his gaze for a second. There’s no smooth way out of this, no answer that’ll save face. ‘You.’

It takes every ounce of strength to stop his stupid boyish ego from grinning, you can see it in the fidget of his lips. ‘There,’ he says, ‘that wasn’t hard.’ 

‘Do you feel better for it?’ you sneer back, rolling your eyes as you reach for your drink. In your mind, picking him was the obvious answer, the only answer, he’s the only one your age. At least, that’s the reasoning you decide to stick with.

‘Yeah, actually.’ He’s finally allowed himself to smile; it shows itself as a smirk, lazy and draped from cheek to cheek. ‘I win.’

‘No you don’t.’ You snort a laugh. ‘This is all hypothetical. If I had to pick, you said.’

‘Yeah, yeah.’ He brings the cigarette to his lips again. ‘You had to, you did, and I won. Easy, innit?’

‘You’re ridiculous.’ He was getting cocky, each quick remark adding fuel to his already steaming locomotive. ‘Picking you over them doesn’t mean anything.’

‘I’ll believe you when you can say it without blushing,’ he answers, barely missing a beat. 

You eye him carefully. It didn’t feel like you were blushing, but there’s enough alcohol in you now to betray your senses like that. Instead of answering, you finish your glass, and put it down firmly once it’s empty. He cocks an eyebrow.

‘Well?’ you start. ‘Aren’t you going to get me another?’

‘You’re changing the subject.’

‘I am,’ you agree. ‘But if you want me to stop being shy, I’m gonna have to get a lot drunker.’

He doesn’t hesitate; he shakes his head once, but gets up regardless. He’s either too intoxicated, or too hopeful, to question what you were implying. And, honestly, you’re glad - you haven’t worked it out either yet. 

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 6

I was stood in front of my mirror looking over my outfit choice, i wanted to keep it casual but dressy enough to be out on a Friday night! I already knew Hannah would show up in some ridiculously short dress or a too low cut top showing off her assets! The black wrap top i found in my closet was just low cut enough to tease but not slutty, i found my good jeans (that always made me feel good about myself) and finished my look with my black heals.

As i checked my hair and make up i couldn't help but feel nervous. It had been so long since i had been out like this. My social life was pretty non-exsistant since becoming a mom, even when i did go out with Hannah it was days out with Mason and Lucas. I grabbed my clutch from the dresser throwing in my lipstick and eyeliner incase i needed to freshen up my makeup throughout the evening and then headed downstairs.

"Mace, you ready to go?" I asked as i walked into the living room, i was dropping him at Hannah's mom's place and meeting her there.

"Yeah..... wow mom you look so pretty" he said smiling at me.

"Thank you baby" he was such a sweet kid, he made my heart melt!

I grabbed my leather jacket and Mason's  overnight bag and we were soon heading out to the car.

When we arrived at the bar we found a table in the back and got settled. Hannah was straight up at the bar ordering shots and vodka lemonade's while i held the table and kept a look out for Scott.

Hannah came back carrying a tray full of drinks with a huge grin on her face.

"These should last us a while"

"Jesus Han, you trying to kill me? You do realise i'll probably be wasted after two drinks!" I chuckled shaking my head.

"Thats what tonight is all about, we dont have to worry about the boys.... tonight we are free to drink and get wasted"

"Not gonna lie, i actually needed this"

"You've had a stressful few days babe, you've handled it like a pro. Im proud of you"

"Thanks" i smiled before throwing back a shot of whisky "wow.... that warms the chest" i coughed a little before laughing.

My cell lit up notifying me of a message from Scott telling me he was here, i told him where to find us and seconds later he was sliding into the seat next to me.

"Wow you look amazing honey!" He looked me up and down.

"Thank you Scott, Mason told me i looked pretty before we left.... i swear my heart melted"

"Awww thats so cute"

"Lucas didn't even notice i was going out" Hannah rolled her eyes before picking up another shot "Mason is such a sweetheart.... so observant to everything around him. My Luke? Im lucky if i can get him to talk to me at all when he's watching TV"

"He gets that from his dad Han, sounds exactly like Mike"

"God i hope not, i dont want him turning out like that asshole".

Scott disappeared to the bar (he was gone for ages) when he reappeared he was carrying a tray full of drinks.... some pretty pink glittery cocktails and more shots.

"Look how pretty these are!" he said loudly looking so happy with his drink choice, Hannah and i burst out laughing at how excited he was over the glittery drinks.

Id lost count of how many drinks we'd had by now, we had taken so many photo's and had even been dancing.... Scott had climbed up onto the table at one point until he nearly fell off.

"What about him? He looks cute.... and he keeps looking over here!" Scott pointed to a man near the bar, Hannah was already chatting to some guy she had taken a liking to.

"I think he's looking at you Scotty" i laughed.

"Who are you looking at?? Are we talking about the same person??"

"The blonde guy...."

"No! Im looking at him! The tall dark and handsome guy smouldering in the corner"

"His beautiful.... and so outta my league!" I laughed before taking a sip of my drink "i need to use the ladies room, i'll be back".

Heading back to our table once id finished in the ladies room i noticed Scott wasn't alone at our table anymore, Mr tall dark and handsome was sat with him along with another guy.

"Scott! You little shit" i muttered under my breath before giving him a false smile.

"Here she is! Gentleman this is my best friend Y/N.

Y/N this is Derek and Peter"

"Hi, its nice to meet you" Mr tall dark and handsome said with the most beautiful smile "i'm Derek"

"Hey, nice to meet you too"

"I invited them to join us for some drinks, more the merrier and all that" Scott looked at me smirking.

'Ruby's' was packed out when we got there just before 11pm, Derek and Peter had decided to join us as well as Hannah's new 'friend' who we found out was called Troy. Derek and Peter had gone to get a round of drinks in while Scott and I found a table. I kept seeing Scott texting someone, he'd been at it all night.

"Okay spill, who have you been texting all night? You gotta a new guy?" I asked loudly over the music wiggling my eyebrows at him before giggling....id had far too much to drink!

"No there's no new guy" he laughed.

"So who is it?"

"Um...."

"Please tell me its not your brother Scott"

"Of course it is..... i'm sorry"

"Checking up on you?"

"Yeah you know what his like, he wanted to come out too but i told him that would be weird. He is going to be picking me up though"

"Scott!" I moaned resting my head on the table and groaning "Im too drunk to deal with your brother"

"He will just be picking me up out front, you dont have to see him" he reached over and gave my hand a squeeze.

"Okay"

"Here we go, we come baring gifts" Peter announced placing a tray on the small table.

"Thank you guys" i smiled at them both "anyone see where Hannah went?"

"I think she left with that guy" Derek said "im sure it was her i saw leaving"

"Why am i not surprised! She always did this to me"

"Did what?"

"Beg me to go out with her for a girls night and then disappear with some random guy. You'd think she'd grow out of that by now" i laughed. Checking my phone i saw a message from her confirming that she had indeed left for the night.

"I think this is my last guys, i'm seeing two of everyone"

"We should do this again sometime, its aways nice to meet new friends" Scott said to Derek and Peter.

"Its been fun" i nodded in agreement.

We all exchanged numbers and then Scott came outside with me to call an Uber. As we walked outside we spotted Chris's car parked across the street.

"He's here already"

"You can go, i'll be okay on my own"

"No way! Im not leaving you alone out here" he said being extra dramatic.

Scott's phone rang and he showed me the screen with Chris's name.

"Hey..... no everything's fine y/n is just getting an Uber. Um.... okay hold on" he looked at me "Chris said he'll take you home"

"An Ubers fine...."

"Come on let us take you. Please? For me?"

"Fine" i threw my hands up sighing "lets go".

I let Scott get in the front with chris while i sat in the back.

"You guys have fun?" He asked as he pulled out on to the road.

"It was sooo good. You missed out" Scott said drunkenly looking at his brother with a grin.

"Well i wasn't invited"

"Oh god...." i muttered to myself rolling my eyes, i was too drunk for this. I let my head fall back and closed my eyes.... maybe i could just sleep until we reached my place.

I managed to fall asleep until my cell started ringing. I fumbled around in my clutch for the phone and answered without seeing who it was.

"Hello"

"Y/N its Sue" i heard Hannah's mom's voice come through, i instantly opened my eyes on full alert.

"Sue, is everything okay.... is Mace ok?"

"He's actually not feeling well, he's been sick and has a fever. Y/N he's just crying and asking for you"

"Shit, um okay.... christ why did i drink so much"

"Hey whats wrong with Mason?" Chris asked meeting my eyes in the rear view.

"He's been sick and has a fever, he keeps asking for me"

"We can go get him, just tell me where i gotta go".

"Sue we'll be there in 10 minutes" i told her after i gave Chris the address "okay, see you soon" i ended the call and let my head fall back against the headrest "fuck! How the hell am i supposed to look after Mason like this"

"I can help out, i dont mind" Chris spoke up "if you need me to stay and help with Mason....."

"Thats actually not an awful idea.... at least until i've sobered up a bit. God, this is why i dont go out getting wasted!"

"You couldn't have known he'd get sick"

"But i should've been there for him...." i was suddenly feeling guilty for not being there for my baby boy.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina @mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie

[i-cant-handle-change]

I'm eager to talk about my Au’s instead of drawing them again-

’The Wired’ Au

Gotta love twisting reality to make up this Au.

This is a depressing Au ngl, besides all the mind fucks it has within it has a lot of desperation in it.

Izuku is trying to find his mother who has been lost within The Wired and there are people out there to get him.

More preferably The Knights and Nine and his gang. Gotta include Nine in too, loved his character in the movie and if you watched Serial Experiments Lain you might know who he’ll play as.

Oh, and Izuku’s dad wants to vault him

Nothing like good old DFO to add on to the already depressing Au am I right?

I’ll write and draw snippets of the Au soon enough but it’ll come off as strange and convoluted. But thats like the norm in the anime I based it on so once again mind fucks all around.

Bakugo is going to get ✨paranoid✨ in this Au. One moment he sees Izuku as a villain, the other as a cutesy extrovert wearing pastels, and the other as what he was after the fatal ’swan dive’. It's going to mess with him a lot and the fact that Izuku flat out told him he was the cause of all of this isn't helping him at all.

Does Inko ever get found by Izuku in The Wired?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This Au is like a pinata, I bash on it and possibilities pour out of it like candy. There are too many and some look the same yet are very different, I don't know, that's the Au in a nutshell.

Also white-haired Izuku. That's it just white-haired Izuku.

’Itch’ Au

Oh yeah, this one is my favorite, and all I can think about-

Izuku has the All for One quirk and he doesn't know that yet the quirk is sentient and slowly starts to take over Izuku’s life.

Some DFO sprinkled in because of angst.

I just love the idea of sentient quirks and by far the AFO quirk just radiates chaotic evil energy and I’m living it. Once it awakens, (it was kept at bay until Izuku finally activated it at the sludge monster incident where All Might and many people saw the event with their own eyes) it’s just dead set on causing so much chaos.

But with how adorable Izuku is the quirk can't just help but groom him into his ideals and make him his new vessel. This is middle school Izuku who just got his quirk and he's still young so the quirk has all the time he needs to shape him how he wants to be.

Izuku is scared, no kidding, he still doesn't understand his quirk very well and why it's sentient in the first place. All he knows is that when it’s near he gets chills down his spine and has the unfortunate hunger of taking more quirks. He's learning to control it though and the more he does the more he spends in this so-called ’landscape’ with his quirk.

It's strange, scary sure, but he feels compelled to know more about this quirk he’s acquired. It claims that it’ll help Izuku when he's at his lowest point and by the looks of it he is at his lowest point. Izuku could deny it but the quirk knows Izuku, it’s been with Izuku for so long that it might as well know more about the teenager than the teenager knows about himself.

It knows about his life. The unfairness and treatment he’s been through for nearly a decade because of his ’quirklessness’. The pain, the bullying, the mistreatment, the scowls, the pity, the unspeakable acts acted onto this child because he did not have a quirk.

”I can help you, little one.”

It said with that trademark toothy smile.

”I can help you make those who have harmed you bow and cower at your very feet!” It exclaimed, raising its arms for effect.

”You have the power to make them quirkless! You have the power to make them weak, pathetic, completely worthless to a society dependent on quirks for survival! You have the power to overcome all those heroes and villains that reign this small world!”

Izuku’s only fourteen, he can't handle all this pressure alone, let alone handle the guilt of taking away quirks from other people. Even if they hurt him in his past he could never forgive himself for committing such an act.

Izuku was too busy thinking to himself that he flinches when he's brought into a suffocating hug, two long arms wrapping around his body like snakes. He acts fast, bringing his now visible arms up to push the quirk away but it was too strong.

Its laughter rang through the landscape.

”You can make anyone follow your orders with the power you hold, little one. You have the power to make them all pay for what they all did to you. Don't you think it’s time that they get a taste of their own medicine?”

’No!’ Izuku wanted to say, still struggling within he tightening hold. ’I don’t want to hurt anyone!’

”But you’ve already had.”

Izuku paused.

”How many quirks have you taken so far because of your hunger? Two? Five? Ten?! All of them taken and it's barely been a few months, little one, and the consequences were just tragic!”

Izuku struggled some more.

’I didn't mean to! I didn't know how to use my quirk properly! I want to give them back but I don't know how to do it right!’

”All those delinquents sent to the hospital, I can't say that isn't normal for children like them but the others... People will start turning heads! They’ll start to look around, rumors will spread, people will talk, they will start to get scared, and soon all those heads will turn towards you...”

’NO!’

”Think about it, everyone will now call you a villain! It doesn't matter what you’ll say they’ll all just point fingers at you and screech out ’VILLAIN’ and run away in fear of your presence! Children will think of you as a monster, children your age will start to avoid you like the plague, parents will take their children and run away from you, heroes will arrest you for illegal quirk usage, and your mother...”

Its grip tightened around Izuku, if Izuku could he would be screaming by now.

”What would your poor dear stressful mother think of you? Oh, she would start to blame herself, she’ll start to think that she gave birth to a demon that only spreads bad luck wherever it goes! All because of your quirk...”

It losses its grip on Izuku who was opening crying by this point, he raises his hands to his face, trying to cover his reddening face.

The quirk before Izuku simply crouched down to the teenager’s height, its smile still hadn't gone away. It raised its broad hands to Izuku’s face, carefully moving his hands away to brush away his tears. It waits a few minutes for Izuku to calm down, its hands on the teenager’s shoulders so that he wouldn't run away. As for Izuku could run away, his feet still hadn't been formed yet and all he could do was either stand up or lay down for anything to happen.

”But you don't have to go through all of that, little one, you’re still too young and your future is still too bright. It only makes sense to tie loose ends that could damage your future so that it won't worry you anymore. For instance, that boy, Naito Susumu, he was the first student that you’ve taken their quirk away, right?”

Izuku nodded his head, the memory still haunts him.

”Well, I can tell he would want it back, for all anyone knows he’s having a fit much like all teenagers do as they grow. Not using their quirk is one of them and he is a delinquent so I can tell that his quirk is what earned him his place to be different from the others. He’ll want it back, of course, but standing around and waiting for something to happen won't do.”

”You have to come up to him yourself, Izuku, leave a note in his desk, make sure he gets it, meet him somewhere private and where you two are the only ones there. Look at him and I mean look at him straight into his eyes into his very soul and make him know that you’re not to be messed with. Because you are not to be messed with, Izuku Midoriya, you are stronger than anyone else in that hopeless school.”

”Make him feel worthless, make him know that you have the power to take and give away quirks with your bare hands. And when he begs, let him beg, let him drop to his very knees, hear his cries and shuttered apologies that are directed to you and only you, Izuku. Make him know you are better than him and after his little session, you make a deal with him, make him know that if you ever need help that he’ll always be there to benefit you in your troubles.”

”Then and only then is where you finally give him his quirk back and I know what you’re thinking ’how could I do such a thing if I don't know how?’ and I’ll tell you how. You have to place your hand, only one, on his forehead like this.”

It placed its large hand onto Izuku’s forehead, from his obscure blurry vision, Izuku could see the hole in the middle of his palm.

”Keep your hand open wide and your fingers separated, make sure you do this right, or else you’ll send him back to the hospital again. You focus, you calm down and look within yourself for his quirk and you’ll know the quirk when you see it, it’s like a shining star in the vast emptiness that is this plane of existence.”

“You breathe slowly and steadily and you grab onto that quirk and give it back to its original owner. You’ll know when the quirk is gone when the light fades and once it fades away you let go of his forehead and step back.”

It let go of Izuku’s forehead, its smile was thin yet thrilled.

”You’ll need to calm yourself down, you’ll feel a part of yourself feel empty, but you need to know how to get used to that feeling. That feeling will eventually fade away and once it does you’ll feel nothing but the satisfaction that someone else is put on your growing pile of supporters.”

”Did you get that?”

’Yes.’

”Good, that's very good, Izuku.”

Something stirred inside of Izuku, the air shifted as he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline course through him. It smiled even wider even when its form started to fade away alongside the landscape it resided in.

”Let us meet again, Izuku Midoriya, I wish you the best of luck.”

It reached out its hand and ruffled Izuku’s unkempt hair but before Izuku could swat his hand away he was already on his bed. Sweating from head to toe the young teenager quickly went off to write down what he could remember in the landscape and from his quirk. He went over the technique, his palms opening and closing for the extra effect he could feel the hunger of his quirk course through his veins.

Izuku had already gotten ready for school faster than he’d done before, he startled his mother by cooking breakfast for himself so that he could get ready faster. He apologized for not cooking for her and hurried to put his shoes on by the doorway and before his mother could ask why he was so giddy he turned and gave a gleaming smile.

”I’m going to make a friend today!”

Izuku left with a skip in his step leaving his still shocked mother beside the doorway.

[lovelyshawnn]

ill take care of you

Alpha!Y/N x Omega! Shawn

a/n: hey yall this is my first werewolf imagine so pls bare w me!! in all the werewolf! shawn imagines ive read, its always shawn thats the alpha so i thought id switch it up a bit lol *SMUT WARNING *

I rubbed my hands together, trying to conduct some heat within the palms of my hands. Even though I am a werewolf and that should mean I’m basically warm all the time, I still had a hard time defrosting my fingers in the middle of my living room. Shawn, who was the complete opposite of me, reached his warm hands out and rubbed them against mine, blowing some of his hot breath on to it while my fingers slowly regained feeling. This even colder than usual weather could only mean one thing: winter was approaching. And with winter approaching, that meant my heat was also approaching. As a female alpha, my heat would hit me 10x harder than average werewolf. Which is exactly why I called a pack meeting today at our usual spot in my living room. I quietly thanked Shawn before returning my attention to the rest of my pack.

“So,” I stated clearly as I stood in front of the group, “I’m sure you all know what this cold weather means.” Knowing looks were exchanged within the pack.

“That means I’m going to be at the cabin all next week. Brian, you’re going to be in charge while I’m gone.” The beta’s face instantly lit up at the sound of his name, a look of surprise and confusion plastered his face.

“Me? Doesn’t Shawn usually take your spot?” Brian questioned.

I cleared my throat and answered sternly, “Shawn is coming with me.”

A look of realisation flashed by his face, as his eyes travelled to his best friend who was standing there awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. “Bro...nice!” Brian whispered his sexual innuendos to Shawn, giving him a fist bump and a pat on his back as the rest of the pack roared with laughter and clapping. I rolled my eyes at the sight. Everyone in the pack assumed Shawn would be the dominante one in the relationship considering he was about a foot taller than me and built purely from muscle. But little did they know, Shawn was always a whiney little mess when he was underneath my finger tips. And with an alpha’s heat in sync with her omega’s rut, there was no way he was going to last a week in that cabin with me.

“Yeah yeah, whatever Brian. Just try not to get anyone killed while I’m gone,” I said with an assertive but joking tone, “Pack meeting adjourned. We leave tomorrow and I still haven’t started packing.”

“Aye aye Captain!” Brian said with a sarcastic cheery attitude before leaving the house with the rest of the pack trailing behind him. I watched them through the window, making sure each one got into their cars safely before making my way up into my room with Shawn hot on my heels. His huge smile spread across his face as he pulled out my duffel bag from my closet before plopping himself on the bed and making himself comfy.

I eyed him suspiciously, “Why are you so excited to help me pack?”

“I’m glad you asked!” he perked up immediately before heading to my drawers. He opened one of the drawers before picking out a black lacy matching underwear and bra set, holding the delicate and dainty fabric between his hands. “I’m thinking you should bring these,” he replied with a devilish smirk and a wink that made me weak at the knees.

I laughed and rolled my eyes before snatching the fabric from his fingers, “You sure you can handle that, baby boy?”

His demeanor instantly changed as he heard the pet name that he adored hearing in bed. “Y-yes. Of course,” He nervously chuckled as I took a few steps closer to him, pressing my body against his. His throat felt dry all of a sudden as he stood with a clear view of my breasts in my v neck shirt.

“Oh, I don’t know, Shawn.... remember what happened the last time I wore this?” I said, biting my lip to hold back my smirk. Shawn’s face immediately blushed a bright red from the memory, his eyes instantly shutting close as he cringed.

“You almost came in me and got me pregnant with your pups, baby.” I said in a hushed tone as I trailed my fingers up and down his chest. I leaned closer to him, standing on my tippy toes to plant kisses all over his neck before whispering into his ear, “Only this time, I don’t think I want to stop you.”

Shawn’s eyes immediately widened, his hard on aching from the tight jeans he was wearing. In the few months that we’ve been dating, he had never experienced sex with me during my heat, and even though he mentally prepared himself to be able to handle the intesity, my last statement basically erased all of his hard work. His head immediately tilted back, mouth open in pleasure as I palmed him through his jeans. He was overwhelmed with my smell, even stronger than all those times before because of my heat approaching. He let out a quiet groan, grasping at my wrist as my hands worked faster. “Baby, I-“

Thats when I removed my hand completely, backing away from him and walking across the room to my closet before lifting up hanger with a black shirt on it. “So I was thinking of bringing this shirt to match with my jeans?”

He stood there gobsmacked, chest heaving as I clearly left him high and dry. He rolled his eyes, grabbing a nearby pillow and tossing it at my face playfully, “You’re such a goddamn tease. Pack the pink shirt instead, it matches better.”

I laughed at him trying to adjust the growing tent in his tight pants. “Me? A tease? Never.”

Shawn flopped back onto his bed and rolled his eyes playfully. “You’re gonna be the death of me, honey,”

I carefully folded the pink shirt Shawn was referring to before placing it into my duffle bag and making my way to him. I leaned over his body, giving him a quick peck on the nose, “Don’t worry baby, I’ll take care of you. Just wait one more night.”

Shawn nodded, completely understanding. It was too dangerous for you two to go at it right now, especially with my nosey ass neighbors who would definitely file noise complaints. Shawn was actually really excited to be spending the week with me at the cabin, which was far out and isolated in the woods. He’d been there a couple times but always with the pack, never alone with me. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he could finally take you wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted on every surface in the house. He had his thoughts especially on that white marble countertop in the cabin’s kitchen, wondering what I’d look like bent over it while he was making love to you. “You okay?” My sultry voice called out to Shawn, who looked zoned out and deep in thought.

“Never better,” Shawn replied, shaking his head to rid his dirty thoughts before helping me out with packing to distract himself from his growing erection.

~

“Hey Bri!” I chirped, picking up the phonecall from my packmate and putting it on speakerphone as I drove.“Hey Y/N! Hows it going so far? Have you guys made it to the cabin yet?” Brian’s voice sounded from the phone.

“Yuup, just pulled up right now,” I replied with one hand on the steering wheel of my blacked out Jeep and one hand on the phone. Shawn was sitting on the passenger side, his hand resting on my thigh and rubbing circles on it with his thumb the whole ride here. To say I was excited was an understatement. His seemingly innocent actions were enough to get me hot and bothered, wanting him to inch his fingers up just a little higher. That was probably why I drove 20 mph over the speed limit to get to our destination faster.

“Great! You guys got everything you need? Food, clothes, protection?” Brian said through the phone. I instantly blushed, looking over to Shawn who surely heard the whole thing. He looked at me with wide eyes, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, fuck off, Bri,” I rolled my eyes even though he couldn’t see me, “Tell the others we got here safe, okay?”

“Yup! Have fun, lovebirds,” He replied before ending the call. He was so going to get whats coming to him during the next pack training. By the time I ended the call, Shawn was already grabbing our things and heading inside the cabin. I followed him inside and immediately made a beeline to the kitchen to look for some snacks.

I heard the loud thumps of Shawn’s footsteps before seeing his body emerge from the hallway. “Babe?”

I looked up from the bag of chips I was currently devouring, “yeah?”

Shawn walked towards me until he was right in front of me, placing one of his hands on my waist while the other flew to the back of his neck, rubbing nervously. “I... sort of, uhm, forgot the condoms?” he said.

I chuckled at how he looked so cute when he was nervous. “Thats okay,” I said while looking at him through my lashes, “We don’t need it.”

“You know I like feeling all of you inside me,” I said, fingers sliding beneath his sweatpants and briefs before palming him in my hand. His breath hitched and I instantly heard his heart beat pick up, pounding in my ears. His smell was always so damn intoxicated when he was aroused, a strong mix of musk.

“Fuck, please,” he whined while throwing his head back in pleasure, his hips lightly thrusting against my hand. “What do you want, baby boy? Use your words,” I said with a slight smirk before I attached my lips to his neck, sucking soft bruises that would heal quickly anyways.

“I want your mouth, please,” He panted. I gave his lips one last peck before I turned his body so that his backside was leaning against the counter. I dropped down to my knees, taking off both his briefs and sweats in one swift motion before circling my tongue around his tip.

At the feeling of that, he immediately let out a moan and threw his head back again, fingers immediately finding the back of my head. I pushed his hand away, “Touch me and I’ll stop.”

Shawn lightly pouted, but didn’t want this feeling to ever stop, so he gripped the edge of the counter behind him until his knuckles turned white. I licked a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip before circling it one last time and finally taking him into my mouth. I bobbed my head slowly, making sure to not to give him too much too soon.

He whimpered as he desperately tried to stop himself from grabbing my hair to pick up the pace. His thighs tensed under my fingertips as he held himself back from thrusting into my mouth. I smiled, lips still wrapped around him. “Good boy,” I praised him, knowing how much he enjoyed that, before sinking my mouth onto him and taking every inch until it hit the back of my throat.

He let out an animalistic growl, eyes starting to shine a golden brown as he couldn’t control how good it felt. Watching how his chest rose while his cheeks became a bright shade of pink, I moaned with his dick still in my mouth, sending vibrations through him. I released him with a pop before standing up on my feet again when Shawn instantly grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him, kissing me passionately before turning me over and bending me across the counter.

He lifted my skirt and pushed my panties to the side before trailing his finger up and down my slit, gathering the wetness before pushing his digit inside. He pumped in and out a couple times, moans tumbling out of my mouth. He withdrew his fingers and rubbed the wetness all over his dick before sliding in his cock effortless. He hissed at the feeling of my tight pussy around him. “Mm, you feel so good baby,” I moaned out.

My praise only egged him on more, his thrusts quickening. My fingers found my bundle of nerves, bringing me closer to my orgasm. “Shawn, I’m gonna-“

At the sound of my voice, Shawn quickly pulled out, leaving me high and dry. I growled at the loss of contact, eyes flashing red momentarily at him. “I’ll take care of you,” Shawn let out quickly before I could get any angrier, “Ride me. Please”

The sound of his whimper made me smirk, making me instantly hop off the counter and taking his hand before dragging him to the bedroom. Pushing him onto the bed, back against the headboard, I made my way up and sat myself on his lap, lowering myself onto his cock. I gasped at his girth, one hand flying to his hair with a firm grip and the other scratching down his chest. Shawn moaned at the heavenly feeling of my claws dragging down his skin.

I began kissing on his neck, sucking harsher than I could control. But Shawn wasn’t complaining. He obviously loved the extra attention on him, which was evident in the way he was a total mess under my touch. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach, an urge to sink his teeth into my neck. He sucked and nipped at my neck, leaving behind a hickey so deep that not even my werewolf healing abilities could fix. At the feeling of his harsh teeth breaking my delicate skin, I felt a feeling of white hot pain for a split second, before my body flooded with electricity. The pleasure was almost too much for me to bare. “Honey...,” He trailed off as he threw his head back. I understood the cue, rocking my hips harder as I felt my own orgasm coming on.

I felt myself tightening around him as he reached out to me, fingers rubbing my clit in tight circles. “Give me your cum, baby,” I whispered into his ear, nibbling on his earlobe. Shawn’s thrusts faltered, eyes wide as he took in what I just said. He couldn’t tell if it was what I really wanted or if it was just my heat talking, but he seemed to lose all self control as he locked eyes with me. “Fuck!” Shawn yelled, reaching his orgasm just as I reached mine, his hot load squirting in me.

We sat there post-high, chests heaving as we came down from our orgasms. “Did I...” Shawn asked, eyes hooded and barely open in his state of exhaust.

“Mark me?” I finished, reaching up to trail my fingers on the pink bite mark on my neck, “Guess so.”

He instantly grinned, smile taking up his whole face ad he pulled me into his chest and engulfing me into a hug. I giggled at his goofiness, noticing how our heart beats were completely in sync. “You’re mine now,” he whispered as he peppered kisses on the little scar where my neck met my shoulder.

“I’ve always been yours, babe.”

[jenna-ortega]

Let The Dead Rest

Michael Langdon x Reader

Summary: Michael has to pick his selections, will you make the cut?

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: smut, oral, tats about it luv

Never had you thought you’d be crunched in the corner of your darkened room crying in between your knees. Heart racing as the palms of your hands begin to create puddles from your nerves. Every week going by at this hell hole, you just get worse, and worse, and worse. Anxiety acting as if you could even get in a worse predicament than you were at this very moment. Eating what resembled jello cubes as dinner, waiting for that saving grace. Which would never come, you thought, until earlier that day a man brining only bad news would set you off in a way like no other. 

Your head spun as he speaking his monologue without missing a word, confident as can be, as if he’d done this already. Fuck, he has done this already. 

You never thought someone coming to rescue you would sound so bad. Worse than when you sat up all night wondering if it’d ever happen, knowing it will happen but...only for some, made the bile in your stomach climb its way up your esophagus and into the toilet you were hurled over. You wish you could keep the only cube you had for dinner down, but it seemed your nerves would get the best of you yet again. 

Jumping from the toilet to hear three light knocks at your door, you stood up, wiping your mouth with the cloth next to the sink, walking to your door with both hands straight down at your sides, your purple gown flowing as your hand gripped the handle, pulling the door open for your eyes to meet Ms. Mead’s. 

“Y/N, Mr. Langdon has requested you, please follow me.” your eyes widened at the short lady in front of you, gulping loud enough for it to echo it seemed, you did as she said. Followed her. For what felt like eternity it seemed, until you were standing in front of two black wooden doors. It’s as though all thoughts left you body, you were in a fog, panic taking over. Langdon had an energy that followed him. Intimidating, scary, you thought to yourself as the doors slide open to reveal the same man who promised a select few sanction. 

“Hello, Y/N. I’ve been waiting for you.” he was so well spoken, you thought to yourself as your eyes met, his hooded eyes taking in your aura, eyes glancing up and down at you. Smirking slightly as you stood silent, and completely still in front of him. Too nervous to realize it was your turn to speak. 

“A woman of many words it seems...” he goes off sarcastically, “Please, have a seat,” he extended his hand out in front of him, directing you to the seat opposite of his. Your eyes roamed the dark tinted desk, papers scattered, a laptop...how did he--, whatever. Your thoughts jumbled together, looking around the room like a nosy cat. 

Your eyes met the fireplace, the leather seats beside it, how non personal this whole room was to Langdon. Nothing that could tell you anything about him, just a sense of dread-

“You’re nervous.” his voice was flat. A statement of which he made, and not an observation. You caught wind of that. 

“Yes.” you couldn’t lie to him or yourself, nervous was something that seemed so close to home for you. Something that’d never leave you. “Should I be?” your next question carefully spoken, immediately regretted. 

He laughed lightly, readjusting himself in his seat so both hands were holding the desk. 

“That depends, y/n.” his movement came to a halt, staying completely still. Staring at you until you uncomfortably looked away. 

“Can you show me you’re worth saving?” your heart skipped a beat at his words. How can you show him that when you didn’t actually think you were in the first place. You looked down at your hands, twiddling your thumbs until you came up with anything to say back. 

“We’ll continue this at a later time.” he hadn’t blinked once while he burned a hole in your face, getting up from his seat to open the door only after his icy stare stayed on you for what felt like minutes. 

“It seems as though you’re not adapt to handle this at the moment. Have a nice night.” he slide the doors back open, placing his hands behind his back as you stayed stunned in his seat. Was this it? did you ruin every chance you had? It didn’t make sense anyway, he didn’t even give you a chance to say anything--

“Now, Miss Y/L/N” he hurried you out, slamming the door behind you faster than you had time to look back. 

You felt like crying, something you weren’t unfamiliar with after the past few months here. Running back to your room to figure out what had just happened, what was going to happen, he has to give you another chance. 

//

Days went by before you saw him again. The first glance you passed at him, he sent you what looked to be a sympathetic smile. It’s as though he’d left you alone after realizing the state you were in. But you wouldn’t give up now, you can’t let him think you’re weak, or that you’re not worth saving. You needed another meeting. 

Making sure you were always in the right place at the right time was your forte for upcoming weeks, him taking notice one night when you were both in the outpost library,

“You’re getting good at finding me, y/n.” his raspy voice called from behind you as you hid your smile in the book you were pretending to read,

“You’re good at letting me find you.” you shot him a glance, noticing his taken aback look, surprised you were able to speak more than 2 words to him after the failed meeting he tried to conduct. 

“Don’t give me any credit. It’s been all you.” he continued the friendly banter, finding a seat across from you, making a note of the empty space beside you on the couch, but deciding against it. Finding it more comfortable to meet your gaze head on. 

His comment made you all of a sudden timid, blood rushing to your face as you noticed him ignoring his literature just to stare at you from across the way. It’s as though you’ve finally gotten what you wanted, another meeting with him, but were you ready for it?

“So. Tell me why we’ve been playing this game.”

You closed your book, placing it on the couch next to you.

“I think we should try that interview again.” you thought you spoke those words but soon realized they cam from his mouth, reading your exact thought. 

“Yes. I’d like that very much.” you agreed, and your heart went right back to beating a million times per minute. Without the desk separating the two of you he felt even closer, one leg crossed over the other as he looked you up and down, observing you. 

“Such a nervous little thing. I’m not going to bite.” his last statement accompanied with a laugh, easing some of your tension, you laughed with him looking down at the ground, gathering your thoughts.

“Tell me, y/n. Why do you deserve to come with me to my sanctuary?” his voice raising at the end, tilting his head slightly and squinting his eyes at you, biting his lip as he noticed you start to fidget yet again. 

“I think i’d thrive, i can help with--..everything...you know...everything” you hinted, already regretting anything you decided to blurt out,

“Everything?...please, be clear what this everything is, miss y/n.” he laughed, crossing his hands in his lap, enjoying his effect he has on you. Making sure you’re always on the edge of your seat. 

“I mean with--procreation? babies? what ever it is i guess...” you really didn’t mean to say that, at all. You just named yourself baby maker number 1, like thats all you had to offer. No. This really isn’t how you wanted this to go.

“Oh?... and, what makes you think i need you, specifically for this?”-- before you could speak, he holds his hand up for you to stop, shaking his head at you,

“And don’t get me wrong. You’re gorgeous. I’d love for you to ...make babies--” he joked, getting up from his seat, you froze in place watching him take just a few steps to you before he pushed over your book and sat beside you,

“But don’t you think you’re much more than that?...and, pardon my bluntness, i’ve heard the nightly crying. You think you could deal with a full term pregnancy on top of the apocalypse?” you were completely stunned, moving further away from him at the sudden realization of what he’s said. 

“oh my--god” you felt yourself slip into panic, this has gone far from what you’d thought, only thing pulling you out of it was his hand grabbing yours, pulling you closer to him abruptly, placing his hand on your chest, the warmth of his putting a chill down your spine. 

“You’re always so nervous.” he moved his hand from your chest to around your neck, holding your face in his hands as he moved in closer to you, lips just inches from yours, “It’s..refreshing.” and his lips met yours, sometime in the fight of both of your mouths, he pulled you atop him, one leg on either side of his, feeling your dress rise and fall to let you bottom sit directly on him. 

You both finally detached, his lips red and swollen along with yours, you noticed his eyes slightly darker than before, his hair slightly frizzed out from the commotion,

“Am I helping your nerves, miss y/n?” not giving you time to answer, he reached up to meet your lips again, feeling his hands roam behind you, lifting your dress from behind, bringing it around your waist and then above your head, ridding you of it faster than you could take in what he was doing.

“Langdon!” you screamed, covering your bare chest as you were just in your underwear, watching him smile at your yelp of his name,

“mm, do that again” he closed his eyes, rolling his head back on the couched and grabbing your hips to sway them on his bulge, 

“No, what if someone walks in?” you nervous stated, right before he grabbed your hands from your chest to remove them so he could see all of you, humming in satisfaction as he did,

“Let them.”

His head still resting atop the couch, manually moving your own hips, feeling your cunt rub against his cock trapped in his trousers. Watching the powerful Langdon be reduced to a moaning mess under you, taking pleasure in you just dry humping him. Confidence suddenly burst inside of you, bending slightly back and holding his shoulders as you pushed your hips down as hard as you could, moving them in circular motion, hearing a small groan escape from his lips, 

“Fuck, i’m going to tear that cunt apart for that.” he made his promise in stone, pushing you off of him, towering over you as he got up from the couch, leaving you on your back with your legs bent towards your chest, 

“Take these off, now” he pulled at the top of your panties, snapping them against you skin harshly. You obeyed quickly, while watching him release himself, a long thick cock hanging out of his pants, warranting a gasp from you, feeling your own juices flow from you, staining the leather beneath you,

Your reaction seemed to satisfy langdon, who was watching you as if you were prey, 

“I want you. I want you right now.” his voice deep, dripping with lust as he walked to you, grabbing your leg and dragging you to the edge of the couch, hearing you squeak as he did so, he flipped you over to your hips were digging into the arm of the couch and your ass was up in the air, your entrance glistening for him, 

“Not so nervous after all, hmm?” he mocked you, rubbing anything that leaked from you back on your clit, you moaned lowly, soon turning it into a loud moan as you felt the thick head of his cock rub against you, teasing your entrance, dipping the tip in, causing you to grip the couch, moving up with each tease. 

“Don’t move, i don’t wanna have to hold you down now.” you turned to look at him, his blonde locks falling beside his face, framing his chiseled jawline, his eyes caught yours, winking as he pushed inside of you, stretching you far enough to feel as if your insides were burning. “Fuck.” he was enjoying the way your cunt spazzed around him, feeling his cock enlarge even more at the way you pulsed for him, 

“Y/n, fuck, you’re just a hidden gem aren’t you,” he began thrusting, pushing your body forward with every hard snap of his hips, causing you to cry out in pleasure, pain? Your body was on fire, feeling your heart sink as he bottomed out inside of you, with every thrust he tore into you further. Your body inviting him in more as you feel yourself drown him with your cum, his cock becoming adjusted to you, taking advantage of every shake and squeeze. 

“M-michael, fuck, faster,--” you felt your feet levitate off he ground, him holding your hold bottom half up as he obeyed your request, laughing at your screams,

“So you know my name...” you heard between the loud clapping of your skin against his, ignoring him as you felt your release coming closer as he reached around you to rub your clit, moaning with you as you began letting go for him, feeling something inside of you begin to snap, you tried grabbing behind you, but he pulled your hand against your back, pushing your body further into the cushion as your pussy convulsed, and you came on him, shaking as he walked you through you orgasm, 

“Shhhh, shhh, come on, it feels good right? i’ve got you, y/n. let it all go” his low voice barely noticed as your ears rang from how hard you he had made you cum, following after shortly, pulling out of your limp body and coating your back, screaming your name as he produced enough cum to cover your cunt and your back entirely. 

Both of you breathing heavy, but only one of you completely covered in cum, he put himself back inside of his pants. Watching you closely as you stayed in one place, afraid to move and make the whole room messy. 

“I made quite the mess here, haven’t I?” a rhetorical question from him, and almost instantly you felt him clean you up, you were so stunned by everything that just happened, you could pass out on the couch right here, feeling your heart beat in your pelvis, feeling him handle you way gentler than he ever did before, is this the Langdon you were afraid of?

//

You were in your room, days later from the incident and still couldn’t help but think back on it, your body still only half recovered, he fucked you with everything he had in him it seemed, walking you to your room that night as well. You hadn’t seen him since, and you weren’t sure the protocol for this, would it be appropriate to see him again? You didn’t want to play the same game as you did, you wanted to see him, and you wanted to see him now. He grounded you so well, helping your nerves, what did you do when he wasn’t around?

That’s when you made your decision to visit him, before you could even rethink your decision you appeared in front of his room, opening the doors to his room and interrupting him alone, in bed shirtless with his laptop on his chest, in sweatpants and yet again his long locks curled against his face. 

“Michael.” 

He looked up from his laptop, smiling at you, “Come in, y/n.” and you did that. Walking up to the side of his bed, in only a satin black cover, staring at him until one of you broke the silence,

“You’re nervous again?” he guessed it.

“Yes. I just, didn’t know where to go. I hope this is okay.” your voice shook, but without him even answering, he pulled you onto the bed, setting his laptop aside to make room for you next to him.

“I’m just doing some work, you can stay.” he moved you to be next to him, your head resting on his chest as you watched him in his emails, typing up things you could barely understand, but just having his warmth beside you, putting a leg up over his own, and closing your eyes to rest. That’s when you realized Langdon was dangerous. He was what grounded you. Your rock, someone who put all your anxiety to rest, the same person who made everyone else's anxiety sky rocket, this was the man you trusted. The antichrist.

//

This went on for the next month, until one night when he had snuck into your room, laying next to you, in just his boxers, kissing against your neck, biting and sucking your skin,

“We’ll have to talk soon,--” he continued, kissing against your collar bones, his hand on your thigh, moving closer and closer to your core, moaning into your neck as he nipped at the skin some more, 

“W--what? why?” your heart started beating, something Michael was now keen on noticing, making sure to try and bring that heartbeat back down, he humming against your ear, climbing on top of you, suckling your earlobe as he decided he’d entertain the conversation now--

“It’s about my selections. To the sanctuary,-”

His lips trailing against your chest, his hands bringing your night gown up, bundling it up on your waist, revealing your core, uncovered just for him, and he couldn’t help but lick up, causing you to shake in his hands, 

“What about them? why are you telling me?” you asked, but your eyes rolled back as you felt his tongue delve inside of you, his hands holding both of your thighs against either side of his face, making sure you couldn’t move, 

“I think, it’s best”-- “fuck” you interrupted him, feeling his fingers soon replace his tongue, reaching for your g-spot, rubbing you until he basically forced an orgasm from you, in less than 5 minutes, your body rewarding him for his talented fingers, shaking from ecstasy you were feeling,--

“I think it’s best i don’t bring you with me to the sanctuary.” your eyes forced their way open, moans turning into silence as your cum dripped out of you, pushing Michael away from your cunt, crawling up the bed away from him,

“WHAT?” you screamed, covering yourself back up with your nightgown, watching him roll his eyes at you reaction. He couldn’t bring you. You made him feel things, and he couldn’t have you distracting him from his plan. He spoke to his father countless times about you, and you weren’t apart of his future, and he had to cut you off, and this was the way.

“You’re not coming with me, y/n.” your eyes watered at his words, “no, no? what?...no you can’t leave me, what am i gonna do? i have no one, there’d be nothing left for me,--” you began to panic, seeing spots in your vision, you breathing getting rapid, Michael meeting you at the base of the bed, grabbing your shoulders to turn you to him, face to face with the man who’d decided your fate. 

“Calm down. It’s going to be okay. I have something for you.” he got up from the bed, you watched with tears falling down your face, he pulled out a vile of white pills, and your memory thought back to his first appearance, what he explained, 

“NO!!!” you screamed, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?” your were in full blown attack, this man had manipulated you into giving him what he wanted, just to leave you high and dry. What were you kidding, he probably did this many times before. How many other girls has he killed after making them cum 20+ times? 

He ran to you, climbing back on the bed, holding you as you thrashed in his arms, screaming at the top of your lunges in anguish, sobbing into his chest, finally calming down as he cradled you, shushing you, even the man responsible for your future death, you’re still depending on. How stupid could you be? to continue the manipulation, continue entertaining him, for you to even stay in the same room as him after he dropped the news.

“You’re a monster, Michael.”  

And yet, he still let you cry into his chest, and you still let him console you. Rubbing along your back as you did so, kissing your forehead lightly.

“Let me calm you down.” 

You let him. Your shock setting in, letting him move between your legs, everything becoming a blur until you felt him inside of you, your heart beat coming down again, your crying turning into morbid moaning, your body now focused on this moment, and not the future. Your mind doing a good job at protecting you, 

“Y/n, i’m going to miss this”

Your mouth agape at his words, silently crying, wondering if this would be the last moment you’d ever be able to be calm. 

“I love you, i love you, michael.” you admitted, your body couldn’t make up it’s mind. You were still in this game you thought you let go the first real encounter you had with him. Is he a monster? he’s the monster you love. That’s you’ll always love, 

“I love you, y/n.” 

His body going limp atop you as he released, coating your walls with his cum for the first time, he couldn’t help but feel you through his orgasm. He needed to feel as close to you as possible. This would be the last time he could. 

This would be the last time he could see you. He could take you in. And that means he could never know what the results of this day would be. He could never see you take the consequences of his actions. He’d leave behind more than you. He’d leave behind his future heir. The only person who made him feel human, for the words of his father. Manipulation would come in all forms, could Michael live with himself if he knew that’s what his father was doing to him as he left you behind. He’d find out soon, when you’d be pregnant, and he’d feel the slight pang of his child’s heartbeat. 

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[artsninspo]

PULSE PART VI - 21 QUESTIONS

Authors Note: 

Elle and Tre get some alone time, get to know each other some more and ... smut? Maybe just a little. 

Enjoy, xx

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

“So” Tre said gripping the wheel and glancing at the GPS. His need for control made him drive - what he hadn’t banked on was his quiet passenger. Women were always trying to be seen and heard around him.

“So?” She repeats glancing up from her phone being difficult per usual and making him smile a little.

“Always an attitude” he comments

“Guess you can say I’m learning” she says getting right back at him.

“You have a smart mouth, you’re a pain in the ass, grieving,  your cousin thinks you’re an angel and that I’m an issue? Hows that?” He asks.

“How is it-“

“Come on answer the question, I know you can go back and forth all night” he interrupts making Elle laugh as she looks out the window at the streetlights.

“I’m the last child from my mom, I have three older brothers. My brothers all have the same dad - mom’s ex husband. He hated the idea of a girl ruining his streak. I got good at playing angel because it was the only way I got attention” Elle shrugs honestly. “Are you going to share too or do I get to talk about myself for the next hour?”

“Where was your pops?” Tre asks ignoring her commentary and making Elle smiles.

“Who knows? Didn’t know Kevin, my mom’s ex wasn’t my dad until they had a divorce. He took my brothers - mom had me DNA tested so he couldn’t take me.”

“Any you’ve been a shit starter ever since?” Tre asks.

“No Mr. Therapist, my mom was distraught. I had to be an angel and then I found her a new pogo stick to bounce on so I could live my life” Elle smiles. Her eyes sparkle every time the light hits them.

Tre shook his head - nothing about her outer appearance teased at her being so crass. He’d been with a few girls from Elles world before and they were all the same - victims of their privilege.  Some whoa is me tale from lack of attention or affection. Thats what fucking with him was good for - attention. After a few he stopped - they were no fun.

“You ever meet your dad?”

“I have to hear something about you first”

“Ask away” he nods looking at the road in front of him.

Elle smiles looking at the ceiling and milling through her thoughts, “What’s your zodiac sign”

“You believe in that shit?”

“Just answer!” Elle shouts.

“Aquarius” she laughs at his response making him feel self conscious.

“Ok”

“Nahh, whats so funny?” He asks slightly offended.

‘It’s not my turn to answer questions, its yours. Are you a pimp?” Elle asks and its Tre’s turn to laugh. “what’s so funny you have girls,  girls, girls, you’re rude to them and they’ll fight for you”

“If I was a pimp you’d be working, not getting a personal escort”

“Excuse me, I don’t know much about that stuff” Elle smiles as Tre’s turns. Silence falls on the car again as memories of his mothers hustles for drugs comes back to him.

“My dad, I met him once. I was the youngest of his kids too and the only girl. He was cool and so were my brothers. It was a long time ago. I barely remember what he looks like but he’s never missed a birthday or Christmas since” Its an olive branch, an attempt to curb the awkwardness. He was uncomfortable all of a sudden and she could feel it. Not the fun kind of discomfort from pushing someone too far - the hurt kind.

“My mom was an addict, streets can be rough for women - I’m no saint but I don’t take advantage of anyone or sell dreams” he explains toughening up.

“Do you have any other family?” Elle whispered looking him over - here she estranged from hers feeling alone because of Jesse’s death when he may very well be.

“No one that matters”

“Whats your type?” Elle asks as her heart races tears bound to fall at any moment. She felt that. No one that matters. Everyone she’d been raised around, that she wanted to be with had chosen her step-fathers side. Kizzy, Dia and her Uncle were all she had left and even they didn’t really know her.

“huh?”

“Your type of girl, we’re headed to a show things got kind of dark I can slide you an assist” she sighs blinking them back.

“I don’t have a type - whats yours?” Tre watches as her body language changes mirroring his moments ago - discomfort.

“Jesse… he always picked guys out for me. It was fun that way, now it isn’t and I don’t know - if I’d had known things would get like this I wouldn’t have asked you to come. Honestly, I’d rather argue” It makes him smile.

“That’a all I’m good for to you”

“Pretty good body guard too - those muscles intimidate effectively”

“Just not you”

“Ehh, usually men who look like you are overcompensating for something, low self esteem and are more dangerous because of that.”

“Not me?”

“Not you, you haven’t flipped out on me yet that’s big dick energy. Reinforced by the fact that you didn’t exploit my drunkenness. I think you’re a good guy and an asshole - people can’t be perfect”

“I don’t like you much” he comments but its not true.

“I’m not interested in being likeable to you sir”

_____________

He watched her, watching people had become something he was adept in. She’d changed in a bars bathroom on the way to the event - looking and smelling like temptation. He couldn’t help but notice the way the satin in her dress brought out the melanin in her skin - even in the dimly lit club. Everyone else took notice as well.

Parties were never really his speed - a recipe for a lot of things to go wrong. He could see Elle was the opposite making quick work of the crowd, getting straight through to the acts and making fast work of them. Every so often she’d elbow a guy for pushing up on her  too much or point to Tre watching her intentionally.

“Hey” a woman says snapping him out of his thoughts. The voice is familiar and so is her face.

“Hey” he repeats.

“South beach, last year at that club a few doors down from the Versace Mansion?” She blabs distracting him from his focus. “We could get out of here. We had fun the last time” the woman proposed with no success.

“Excuse me” Tre walks around her looking for Elle only to find her talking to an aggressive bouncer or body guard.

“Babe!” She smiles excitedly hugging him when he gets close enough.

“I was just telling security I can’t go on stage because I’m spoken for” Elle lies leaning her head on Tre’s chest as she puts his arm around her. “He said I was lying” she looks up at Tre who in turn glares at the man with enough disdain to make him turn away.

“Come on”

“Don’t be annoyed, we make a good team” Elle whispers heading to the bar to wet her palette. Just like that everyones phones go off. A storm warning. Grabbing Elles hand is Tre’s notice that the party over. Being out in a flood zone during a hurricane is idiotic.

“Slow down, these are five inch stilettos” Elle groans trying to keep up and free her hand of his all at once.

“We gotta get to a store then a hotel before the storm hits. Traffic will be crazy and its better we’re inside.” He instructs getting in and finding a target.

Elle wanted to say something smart but she withheld watching him instead. He always showed up in times of need. His personality type was protector and she respected that. So instead of stressing him out further she follows the orders helping where she can. Water, gatorade, snacks, everything left on the shelves. It was the smoothest an interaction had ever gone between the two of them. He noticed, noticed that and how she managed to make grocery and essentials shopping sexy.

Heading down the isle he puts gets his essentials, body wash, boxers, toothbrush, toothpaste, condoms, nail clipper, razors, aftershave and a few things to sleep in.

“Two rooms” he said passing his card to the woman at the front desk.

“Two rooms?” The older woman repeats looking between them. His words are a surprise to Elle too.

“We argued all the way here and he snores, between that and the storm I want some peace” Elle adds playing along to lessen the diss.

“And I don’t want all her shit in my bathroom - I want peace” Tre retorts but it only makes the older woman smile.

“A double room is the best I can do, same room two beds, two bathrooms, two doors a kitchen, hows that?” She asks.

“Cool” Tre agrees.

“Would you like to deal with the reservation and send her up with someone to help with the stuff?” She asks.

“She can go up, I’ll handle the stuff” Tre nods giving Elle the okay with the card key and her things.

“Two rooms?” The woman asks after.

“Its not like that Ro” he sighs.

“Why not, you usually don’t discriminate. She’s gorgeous and you’re paying”

“We’re neighbours and I don’t shit where I stay”

“Whatever you say, put that card away. Its on me” she smiles handing him his welcome package. He takes it looking at her and hesitating for a moment. The words are slow to come.

How’s mom?

“She’s still in treatment, doing decent enough, hoping you’ll come see her” Ro responds putting him out of his misery.

“Thanks” he taps the pamphlet on the counter walking away from his aunt and heading to Elle.

…

They’d been in the room for over an hour. Tre hadn’t moved from infant of the TV, tuned into the storm watch. Distance is what he was hoping for. He didn’t remember the last time the smell of women body wash made the entire space smell like it. He didn’t remember how long it took for women to shower, rather he didn’t know. He liked his space and never liked sharing. He didn’t expect Elle to look even better to him in a neglige without make up and a robe off the shoulder.

“So you know the front desk woman?” Elle asks just as perceptive.

“My aunt” he nods looking back at the tv.

“You know I thought you were crazy before but now I’m sure of it, this storm could be bad, could be stuck here awhile and you want two rooms and to stare at a tv” Elle reasons sitting beside him. The tension is thick.

Why am I holding back? 

He couldn’t quite call it. 

“I won’t beg, but I’ll stop using your washer machine. Don’t worry I won’t fall in love or stalk you or anything crazy. It’ll just be sex” Elle reasoned shocking him with her approach. Usually when woman propositioned him he knew they were lying about not catching feelings.

“What about the other girls?”

Elle smiles resting her hand on her fist as her elbow is propped on the couch to get a better view of Tre.

“I’m not insecure or sure it’ll even be that good” she teases turning up the temperature between them. “I’m no angel Tre, I just look like one” she says straddling his lap determined to get what she wants.

He takes a breath as she leans forward to get comfortable before putting a hand on his chest, leaning to his ear. “Come on, I know you want me on my knees. Tits bouncing as you fuck my mouth, or me from behind.” She whispers grinding slowly on his lap and giving his ear a little nip.

He looks up at her as she pulls away sitting on him upright like she wasn’t just being a fucking slut. Her hard nipples telling in her.

“On your knees” he demands.  For once she’s obedient climbing off of him to get between his legs. 

“You promised more eye candy” same tone it makes Elle hot as she removes the straps of her neglige letting the fabric fall to her hips. He didn’t make a move to touch her sitting there stoically waiting for her next move.

“I’m going to have fun tonight” Elle winks rubbing him through his jeans - determined to shatter his ‘so what’ persona by any means.

NEXT CHAPTER

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter of the series. How are we feeling about it? Talk to me !

_______________

TAGS: @bugngiz @lifelover4u @l-auteuse @notsomellowmushroom @princessasaani @heavensangelxo @bakarilennox @chaneajoyyy @thehomierobbstark @jad3djay 

[spider-bih]

Eleven Minutes.. [Peter Parker]

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: My angst has bust in full force thanks- flashbacks in italics in case thats confusing

A/N: I’m alive??? Works killer n i miss this crai- also, doing page breaks a diff way bc tumblr mobile refuses to show page breaks smh. No, I have not seen Endgame or any leaked footage so this contains no spoilers, (I did see it, since this was edited and made before and after Endgame, however, this will atill contain no spoilers and will continue in how I thought it would end <3) just vague mentions of IW and what an aftermath might be like idek

❝I’ᴍ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ᴀᴡᴀʏ, ᴀɴᴅ I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴅᴀʏ..❞

You assumed you shouldn’t be doing this, what with your state of emotions but.. if you didn’t, you weren’t sure if these emotions would ever settle. You had to have closure, even if the outcome wasn’t what you expected or wanted. Hell, you were barely sure what you even wanted out of this. What was the point? What was there to even gain anymore? Why were you lying to yourself when you knew you still wanted this?

There was so much you’d put up with on your end- and sure, maybe you had no right to complain. You knew what you were getting into those few years ago. You knew who he was and how he was, but still. You hoped you’d get him to see reason. You knew you would-

A teenager shouldn’t have to go through all that. Not even an adult should, but of course, perhaps an adult could better process it. An adult wouldn’t struggle so hard, and that’s only because their brains aren’t still working to fully develop themselves and the body they inhabit. Struggling with something so hard so young.. it does things to you and those around you. It does things to your relationships.

Funnily enough, the same could be said of a teen simply having a romantic relationship at all. Yet, the latter doesn’t have you bearing the weight of the world upon your still growing shoulders.

You struggled to hold that weight with him. Nights filled with the metallic scent and taste of blood were the norm. Those nights always felt panicky or hurt- those nights always caused arguments and overpowering feelings of helplessness. You weren’t built to be a damsel in distress, but you knew your limits. He surpassed them, but even he had his own, and as much as you wished they were endless, they weren’t. That night when he didn’t come home- that day when all the world saw was ash.. that was almost the final straw. How crazy is it that it wasn’t?

That months of mourning and horrific questions and theories, wasn’t entirely the cause of this? Months of staring out your window and just hoping he was lost and not.. gone. So much time spent feeling like you could have prevented it somehow- and feeling like you didn’t savor enough of the good moments. The hand holding, the sweet kisses and sweet murmurs of affection under stars- none of it felt like enough. Not enough to sate you or make you feel like yourself..

❝I’ᴍ sᴏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ sᴏʀʀʏ, I’ᴍ sᴏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ sᴏʀʀʏ..❞

Seeing his face again was almost like having whiplash- only ten times worse.

You’d only dreamt of seeing him again, of getting to touch him and feel his hands holding you close. Only in your dreams did you get to feel like.. he had never left. You wanted to punch him, but you also wanted to hug him. All you could settle for was breaking down. Your knees gave out from under you, and he caught your crumpling form, allowing you to thrash at him because he was sure he deserved it. You both knew he didn’t, but feelings never really align with logic. Feelings do as they pleased, especially when they decided to consume you.

You cried until you couldn’t- until your throat was scratchy and your body felt weak.

“I’m sorry..”, he tells you, and you just shake your head.

“I am too.”

He doesn’t know, and maybe he never will, but the sorry wasn’t for hitting him. It wasn’t for him having to see you like this. It was because he was one of many, that had to watch themselves go- only his was worse. You were sure his senses screamed at him, that his powers tried to alert him and or stop it all, but they failed. He had to feel himself wither away, and you could only imagine what that might feel like for a Junior in High School. For a growing young man.

“I broke my promise though. I want you to know I never meant to and you were all I could-”

“Please.”, you cut him off as quick as you could, “Please, I just.. you’re here now and I.. I don’t want to think of any of that..”

“Okay. I understand.”, he says, and he does. No one wants to be told they were the last thing to be thought of. True, it means well but.. no one wants to lose someone. They don’t want to think of their lats thoughts or last words. They just want them with them, alive and well. He did his best to give you that.

“Thank you.”

❝Yᴇᴀʜ, I’ᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ’ ᴅᴀʏ sɪɴᴄᴇ I ʟᴇғᴛ. Yᴏᴜ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ғʟᴏᴏʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴀɴᴅs ʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅ..❞

Days were hard and nights were long. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking that night. He just knew he had to fix this, his gut was telling him he needed to fix this. You walked through hell with him, held his hand while the whole world was engulfed in flames and he had the utter audacity to let you go? To let you slip through his fingers when you were doing your best to stay? To help?

He was in the wrong and he was sure of it. He was wrong for expecting none of his life to affect you. For allowing himself to think that because you’re not experiencing anything he has firsthand, that you had no room to say anything. You’d watched him get beat down- get damn near killed on a few occasions. Fuck- you even lost him once. You went entire hours and days and weeks and months just.. without him. Not from a break up or vacation or something normal. For you, he was dead, and something like that is horrifically traumatic at best, even if he was here now. No amount of promises can fix that. There will always be that bit of fear stuck in you, and you had every right to keep it there.

You have every right to tell him what you told him- to ask what you’ve asked.

He had no right to say what he said, and he’ll regret it his whole life long.

How could he say he didn’t need you? Lie right to your heartbroken face and get mad that you asked him to just once stop? To live for himself- to come home unscathed?

The broken look in your eyes absolutely broke him.. the sad soft tone to your voice- and then the anger. The bottled up rage and hurt, the venom in your words had absolutely paralyzed him, and then, in the silence, in the aftermath, he saw what he had done. He felt it when he woke up alone, warm sun on his back, but no warm body next to him. Soon the very scent of you was gone, your perfume no longer lingered, your clothes weren’t mixed in with his laundry basket- nothing. There was no trace of you.

It was a type of lonely he’d hoped to never experience. May stopped asking for you and only looked at him with sadness when you were mentioned. He never told her a thing- he assumed she figured it out, or maybe you told her.. he wasn’t sure.

He just needed you back, at any cost.

❝Aɴᴅ I’ᴍ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ, ᴀʟʟ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴄʜᴇsᴛ..❞

“Oh, so you don’t need me, huh?”, you say, your voice is soft but tight, and he knows what’s going to happen next. He knows you well enough- he’s only taken in every last bit of you he could since he was sixteen. Only ever loved you since he learned what that was- what it really was. He liked to think you and him were the anomaly- a tiny percentage of teens that did know what love was..

“No. I-”

“You don’t? So you didn’t need me patching you up all those times so May wouldn’t lose her shit? So she wouldn’t flip the fuck out at her only nephew- at her only boy, risking his life constantly? Didn’t need me when you were as good as dead to the fucking world and May was so lost? Not last night when you were screaming in pain and couldn’t go to Tony because even he would tell you to cut the shit and let someone else handle it?!”

“He wouldn’t-”

“He would! You’re not doing this for the same reasons anymore! It’s not for your Uncle or May or even me! It’s only for you! Just for you because you’re still scarred from what happened and refuse to be beaten by anyone! You don’t want to feel helpless but fuck- think about how everyone else feels! We-”

“You’re all alive aren’t you?! Well and okay and safe, aren’t you?! I am doing it-”

“NO!”, you scream, and he goes quiet. The anger in him seems to just fizzle out. You’ve never screamed at him that way- the fire in your voice- the look in your eyes. It was torture.

“No.”, you hiss, “No we’re not okay. May is far from okay and I’m right with her. You’re throwing yourself at danger- you’re getting careless. The biggest threat to us all is gone Peter. He’s not coming back. He’s not in any of the villains you’ve fought. He won’t be in any future ones. You can relax- but you won’t. This fear is eating at you. You’re scared and you won’t even admit it anymore.”

“I’m not scared. I’m fine and I really don’t need you on my case about this. You’re better off leaving if you think I’m gonna stop. Go move on like you did when you thought I was gone.” The last part was a low blow and he knew it. You couldn’t know when he was coming back or if he was. It wasn’t even moving on. It was just doing what you could to not be drowned every waking moment of every day. Even if it meant laughing like nothing went wrong- like there was no gaping hole in your chest.

Even if it was with what friends you had left, even if, in the moment, it looked like you’d never missed him. Yes, he realized he was wrong when you gasped how you did. When you cried instantly and threw yourself into him- but some evil and minuscule voice in his head said it was lie. Though, that itself, was a huge lie.

“I can’t believe you’d-”

“Believe it.”, he had said, and by God he wishes he hadn’t.

❝Sᴏ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ sᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ, ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ sᴀᴅ, ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇsᴛ I’ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ. Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ I’ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ..❞

You never answer to unknown numbers. If they weren’t in your contacts and no one was set to call, they weren’t worth answering. Something in you had told you to answer the phone and for once- just once, you did. You almost hung up when your first few ‘Hello’s gained you no response. You didn’t know that sound of your voice sent him into shock for a moment or so. It had been so long since he heard it. He spoke so fast too, a nervous tick of his. Speedy and stuttery. It’s how he always had been, and you half-hated half-enjoyed the way it made your heart do flips in your chest. Butterflies rose up in you and you felt like a teen again.

It was insane how after all this time he still had you like that. How you knew his apologies were sincere and how you had missed him so so very much. he had missed you too- he was practically dying without.

“I’m like.. eleven minutes away from you by my webs I just- please. I want to see you- I want to talk this out. That was a low blow and I.. I was so wrong, about it all. I could use a break- I should have taken one- should have thought more of you and May when I was out doing what I was doing. I.. I don’t know about putting up the mask forever but.. I don’t need to fight everything. I sure as hell don’t need to fight you.. please.”, he had said.

“Okay but.. you’re only eleven minutes away from me if I keep driving like this for.. ha, eleven minutes. You’ll be farther if I just stop.”, you tease, just cause you could. You’d earned that much.

“... I’ll swing for a half hour- even longer just.. I miss you. I-.. god, please. I mean I understand but.. please..”

You sigh softly, unable to deny that you wanted this too, “I didn’t stay I’d stop driving. I’ll see you there.”

He lets out a breathy laugh of relief, “Great. I.. I’ll be there. Promise.”

“See you soon.”

❝Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇs ᴀᴡᴀʏ, sᴏ ᴡʜʏ ᴀʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʀᴇ?❞

“Maybe I deserve this..”, Peter sighed into his mask, overlooking the city from where he was perched. He had Karen keeping an eye out for you or your car. You had said eleven minutes. Karen detected one traffic incident but it was a route you never took. It was shorter, but accidents were frequent there. He didn’t dare look into what might be involved in that traffic incident. Not just because he didn’t want to be tempted to go check it out- but also because he knew his luck. He knew yours. He didn’t want to panic, but with every passing second, he was losing it.

All the worst case scenarios were running through his head. Every bad possible thing- because of course it’d happen. Of course the day he finally decides to call you- to get some courage and-

“She’s here.”, Karen says, and relief courses over him. You’re here and once he lays eyes on you he feels as weak as always. You’re still as he remembers and he swears it’s like you haven’t changed. He can feel you so near and you’d only just gotten there. Memories flooded through him and his longing grew. He missed you- oh fuck, he missed you so much. It took everything in him to not web you to him- but he couldn’t risk that, not now and not here. He had to make it seem like he didn’t notice you. You knew the drill. Years of being with him, you knew the risks and when it was alright to take them, now wasn’t the time. You had to play it safe. Anyone could be watching.

You stood by the building and waited like you were waiting on someone to come out. He kept his head forward but his eyes stayed on you. He was damn glad no one could see his eyes with the mask on. Karen kept a look out, being sure nothing was nearby. He had to wait on her all-clear, simply because his own emotions and wants fogged his rationality and focus, especially when it came to you. You’d always clouded his thoughts, even when he was out as Spider-Man. How could you not? You were and still are his everything. He’d always love you, even if this meeting didn’t go as he hoped. There was no one out there like you, there never would be.

“God- I want to jump down to her- she’s even looking at me with that little grin-”

“No, Peter. I have not given the all-clear. I am still searching and you have poor judgement with her.”

“Ouch, Karen- even you’re mad at me? Still?”

“I-”

Gunshots went off suddenly, someone was screaming about a drive-by but it wasn’t warning enough. He was up high and you were down there. He jumped but he wasn’t fast enough. Super-speed wasn’t in his arsenal of powers. Nothing helpful in the moment was, but he still tried. The very second he saw the gunfire nearing you, he jumped. He leaped for his very life, reached with all his might but you slipped away, stray bullets shocking you into falling. You fell right onto the concrete. People in passing were screaming- some started crying out of fear, dropping to the ground like flies. For every shot, three people went down. It was chaos and as selfish as it was, he only cared about you in the moment. Spider-Man wasn’t there, Peter was. Peter only needed to see you- he had to hope you were fine-

He hoped you were only grazed- begged for you to be fine.

“Please..”

He didn’t look, he didn’t pause, he went straight for the nearest hospital once he reached your limp body. Swinging high and fast- in a way he knew you’d hate if you were conscious- or just awake enough to know. You had to just be out from shock- nothing else- His adrenaline was pumping through him like mad- like never before. Harder than when he felt himself dying- quicker than anything ever. His breaths were ragged and raspy- raw and painful. His chest was tight and he had to fight to see through his tearing eyes. His fear was eating him alive, shaking his core and straining his muscles.

The nearest hospital seemed so far away. It seemed like thousands of miles- like his webs weren’t fast enough- and the warmth seeping into his suit wasn’t helping a damn thing. It was like it was weighing him down with every passing moment. Every second you weren’t yet at that hospital, he was losing his mind. Panic was absolutely consuming him and yet he continued.

“Please- oh my go- please- for fucks sake- not her!”

He screamed for a doctor once he landed- lost his mind as he ran in. He can’t remember what he yelled or who he scared. he didn’t care if this could get you labeled as someone Spider-Man knew. He could fight that battle later. He had to survive this one first.He had to let them get you on a gurney- had to ignore the splotches of dark red on you- had to forget how limp you felt. he only focused on your breaths, shallow as they were, they were something.

He hated that he had to change out of his suit- it meant he had to leave- and being alone was no help. He had to peel his suit off and ignore the feeling in the pit of his stomach. Had to ignore the sickening warmth that stuck to him- sticky and noisy but he had to ignore it. Hopefully it was his blood and he couldn’t feel it. Maybe he had been grazed. The blood on his palms couldn’t be yours. He’d never be so unlucky- not like this not now or ever. It couldn’t be this way. He had to remember that as he ran back in- as he put on the facade that he’d heard from some friends or something and had to know your condition.

He had to play positive thoughts in his head like a mantra in his head as he waited on news. You couldn’t go- you promised. Years ago, you promised you’d be his girl forever. Even when you two fought- even when he was being a damned idiot. You’re his everything- you wouldn’t leave him. You swore- you even agreed to see him after the stupid shit he said.This couldn’t happen. He loved you, you loved him- how rare was that? A love worth fighting for, a love that went through hell and back? A love people wrote books and novels about- full on series that ended tragic for shock value. That couldn’t happen to him- he couldn’t be some cliche. You would be damned if you ever became some-

“Mr.Parker..”

His head shot up, “Yeah?”

The silence the followed was deafening. His heart thrummed in his ears as the nurse who called him beckoned him to follow. The very halls made his senses go off- there were people just hanging on the brink- there were people morning- people talking to someone hooked up to machines with no promise of waking. People saying goodbye- he wasn’t going to say goodbye- you never said goodbye. Once you learned his secret, it was never goodbye, only ever see you soon. It was because you knew. Goodbyes weren’t something he ever wanted to hear with a life like his. With losses like his. Peter grew to hate goodbyes as dumb and cliche as that sounded. You didn’t care though, you let him hate them and made sure not to say it. You had the chance to when you left him, but you didn’t. You didn’t stoop to his level and.. well, you didn’t want it to be goodbye. He had forced your hand-

The nurse led him to the Doctor in charge of your care. His face made Peter’s heart drop.

“Is sh-”

“I’m sorry..”

❝I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ sᴇʟʟ ᴍʏ sᴏᴜʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ..❞

“You promise you’ll be careful?”

“Only if you promise you’re my girl forever.”

You laugh softly and his chest feels like it might burst.”You’re silly, you know the answer to that.”

“Mhmm.. but I don’t? I’m oblivious, you know this considering you had to make the first move for us to even be like this.”

You roll your eyes playfully, “Well, you are right about that.. hmm..let’s see.”

He pouts, “Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that. You’re already my girl now, what’s so wrong with forever?”

You pretend to think, and it’s convincing enough to make him scared until you grin bigger than he’s ever seen. It was a smile he grew to adore, “Absolutely nothing Peter. I’ll always be here, even when you’re oblivious.. or dumb.. or-”

“No no, I get it. You don’t have to get specific.”

“You have to promise me too.”, you say.

“What?”

“Promise me you’re my dumb nerd forever?”

He makes a face, “Dumb nerd- I-”

“Promise.”, you insist, and he goes quiet, because now you’re serious. He gets why. He understands what you’re insinuating.His face softens and he accepts the rude description of him, only because you had called him yours.

He steals the softest kiss from your lips, grinning like a moron after, “You know better than I do that I’m only yours. Always. I was yours before you even knew it.”

“... You must think you’re so cool for kissing me first for once-”

“God- shut up! Let me live- just because you said those three words first doesn’t- hey! Don’t laugh! We were having a moment- I can’t-” and the rest dissolves into laughter.

In that moment he loved you so much, and he grew to love you even more. He wouldn’t trade you for the world. Not with you laughing like that- not with your smile like that. You were so beautiful then..

You were beautiful even now, as he laid you to rest with family, tears streaming down his face..

“You promised..”, he whispered, but no one could hear him. “You fucking promised and- god you were right there. I had you- I saved you- I’ve done it a thousand times why-”, he chokes on a sob, curling over to try and support himself but it’s not working. He’s crying out your name but you’re not responding.

You’re right fucking there, but you’re not moving and it’s absolutely killing him. You fought through everything with him- The Snap- villains that snapped his bones like twigs- beat him to a pulp. You were used as bait by a villain that knew too much- he saved you from them. From a falling building- from death- so what the fuck?

How is there no one for him to blame? No one he knew personally- no one but himself- but time and fate?

“It was only eleven minutes- god- I was ready to be done I swear- please- come back, I- Fuck.. god- I’m..”, he started to sob, “Come.. come home to me.. come... home with me..”

Everything was lost to sobs.. and not a damn soul could pry him from where you lay.

❝sᴏ ᴡʜʏ ᴀʀᴇɴ’ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇʀᴇ..❞

Making a new taglist soon but taggin @starksparker to be an ass. Also @grandmascottlang and @spiderboytotherescue

[let-it-raines]

I was reading this "ex prompt list" and while I want you to write all of them, I really liked this one: "You talk about me in your new song and I get mad over it, so I’m standing outside your apartment door to argue, only to see you open the door half naked." Thank you, darling! You're a gift!

She’s on her way home from work when she hears it. Listening to the radio isn’t something she does, not anymore, but her car can’t connect to her phone’s Bluetooth and she forgot the aux cord, so it was either the radio or silence.

She probably should have stayed in silence.

Because for the first time in three months, for the first time since she was in Target and heard one of his songs over the speakers, she hears his voice.

And she hates it.

But she apparently hates herself a little bit more because she doesn’t change the station or turn the radio off. She doesn’t recognize the opening chords to this song. She recognizes the chords to every song. She knows all of the lyrics, all of the rifts and pauses. She knows everything.

But she doesn’t know this one.

It’s quiet, sullen, the usually prominent instruments muted in the background so that his voice comes through as clearly as possible. It takes her thirty seconds and two references of a swan flying away – really subtle there, Jones – for her to realize that the song is about her. She has to pull over to the side of the road, making several different cars blare their horns at her, but she can’t…she can’t listen to this while driving. She can’t hear him sing a song that’s clearly about their break up. She has to listen, but she can’t do anything else.

She can barely breathe.

He sounds broken. But she knows that’s on purpose. He records those songs a million times over, until he gets them exactly how he wants them to be, so she knows that he’s manufactured it this way. She’s watched him record enough songs to know how things work.

How dare he do this.

How dare he put their private life out there for anyone with ears to hear.

Hot tears sting behind her eyes, and she has to bury her face in her hands while her throat constricts, emotion lodging itself there and making her feel as if she has to vomit. Or as if she can’t breathe. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know anything.

All she knows is that she misses him. She misses Killian.

But right now she hates him for making her relive their breakup, for making her relive the agony that was the weeks and months of separation that inevitably led them to walking away from each other.

Or maybe it was her.

She’s not sure. If anything, it’s all a blur of tears and alcohol, sobs wracking her body while she was unable to feel anything but pain. She’d waited so long to find someone who understood her, who wanted to be with her with no reservations, who wouldn’t leave. But then he had left. It had been for work. She knows this. She understands this. Despite everything, she wants nothing more than for him to be happy and to follow his dreams. She just wishes it didn’t come at the expense of them.

She just wishes she’d been strong enough to handle the months of separation and the way that their schedules never matched up, the way that they were constantly missing each other when they tried to call.

The song ends and immediately something happy, upbeat plays through her speakers. She’s having some kind of meltdown on the side of the road, and the world keeps going by. Cars continue to drive by, shaking her bug with their momentum, and the song that’s about one of the worst periods of her life is quickly forgotten and replaced by something about…dancing in a club. It’s literally just about dancing.

She lets out a watery chuckle, the emotion that was lodged in her throat clearing the slightest bit so that she can breathe. Was she not breathing? She might not have been breathing.

Now that she can breathe again, she inhales, sucking her chest in before letting out a gush of air in an attempt to calm herself. In her review mirror she can see that her face is red and splotchy, that her eyes are still watery, and she has to wipe away the snot that’s formed at her nose.

It’s as she’s rubbing her eyes, trying to clear her vision, that all of the sadness starts to twist, transforming into something else entirely. She’s pissed. Absolutely pissed. And she can’t help but think of her earlier thoughts when the song first started playing.

How dare he do this to her.

How dare he write that song and put it on the radio.

Before she knows it, she’s putting her car in drive, looking over her shoulder to make sure the road is clear, before she’s pulling off of the dirt and onto the pavement, speeding down the road in the direction of Killian’s apartment instead of toward hers, driving in the direction of the place where she lived for so long. She knows he’s home, that he’s in town. And she only knows this because David still talks to him, still talks about him, and she overheard David talking to Mary Margaret about Killian being home for the next few weeks and how they’re going to go out for a pint to catch up.

She knows the path to his apartment better than she knows the path to her own, a right here followed by another until it’s a straight shot to the parking garage underneath his building. She still has her sticker, the one that lets her inside. She never could get the damn thing off.

But now it’s useful as she pulls into an empty guest space, hastily getting out of the car and slamming the door shut as she makes her way over to the elevator, hoping that the code hasn’t changed and she can still get inside. It’s only two minutes before she’s standing in front of his door, the momentum and adrenaline propelling her hand forward until she’s banging on the wood so roughly that her hand might actually hurt.

She hurts.

Every bit of anger, of malice, of disappointment that she has is on the tip of her tongue, posed to be spit at him as soon as she sees him, but then the door is swung open and she sees him for the first time in…shit. It’s been five months. It’s been three months since she heard his voice in Target, but it’s been five months since she’s seen him.

And he’s now standing in front of her with his hair damply falling across his forehead, water trailing down the hair of his chest, and the words of his tattoo peeking up over the white towel he has slung across his hip.

Fuck.

She doesn’t have any other words, especially as his fists clench and the muscles in his arms strain while his jaw ticks. He’d look surprised when she first showed up, his lips parting before closing, almost as if he had something he wanted to say. But now he looks angry, a storm raging behind his eyes, and all she can think about is the time that they went to Bermuda for their anniversary and spent the entire week either in bathing suits, a towel, or nothing at all.

“What are you doing here, Swan?”

There’s no anger in his voice though. It’s calm, even, and it’s that fact that gets her back on track. He sounded broken in the song. He’s obviously not broken like she is.

“How dare you write that song,” she spits, trying to keep her voice just as steady, knowing that she’s failing. “You just put our life, my life, out there for everyone to hear.”

“No one knows it’s about you.”

“I do! I know! Our friends know! Everybody goddamn knows! I’m driving down the road on my way home from work, trying to live my life, trying to move on, and I just have everything that I’m trying to forget thrown back in my face like that.”

“Love – ”

“Don’t call me that,” she cries, hating how her voice cracks. She shouldn’t have done this. She shouldn’t have come. She should have never let her emotions drive her, but that’s always what’s she’s done. She’s never been one to be able to hold back when she really feels. “I am not your love. You’ve made that very clear.”“Swan,” he grits, crossing his arms over his heaving chest, “if you want to yell at me, come inside. I have neighbors, and I don’t think we want them witnessing this.”

She huffs, disbelief that he’s actually inviting her inside so that she can continue this emotional breakdown, but her feet still carry her inside, her eyes glancing over the apartment the moment she gets inside. It all looks exactly the same.

She hates that it all looks the same.

Something should have changed.

All of her stuff is gone.

She’s gone.

Something should have changed.

She turns around to look back at Killian, who’s locking the door behind him before running his hands through his damp hair, pushing it back on his forehead, before he’s rubbing his fingers over his scruff. She hates how good he looks almost as much as she hates that that’s what she’s focusing on.

“Why are you here?” he sighs, the indignation he had replaced with acceptance. “The song? You’re mad about the song?”

“Of course I’m mad about the song. How could I not be? Have you heard it?”

“I wrote it. And in case you’ve forgotten, I have dozens of other songs about you, nearly every one of them on a record somewhere. You never seemed pissed about those then.”

“We weren’t broken up then.”“Well whose bloody fault is that? Because it’s not mine. I didn’t want to break up.”

“You think I wanted to break up?” she screams, not caring about staying calm while her entire body heats, her skin feeling overly warm and her head throbbing while her heart pounds. “You think I wanted to be having breakdowns on the side of the road because I can’t handle reliving parts of our relationship. You think I wanted to be the girl who sat at home and cried every time you didn’t pick up the phone? Every time you had to go one minute into our conversation? Every time I went out with my friends and heard your voice on the speakers at a bar when I hadn’t actually heard your voice in days? You think I wanted that?”

She can’t…she can’t breathe again, her heart beating far too quickly in her chest. This isn’t healthy. This isn’t good. She needs…she needs to sit down. So she does, collapsing to the ground and resting her back against his hallway wall while she wraps her arms around her knees and lets herself have another breakdown.

Who the hell needs dignity?

“Emma,” Killian sighs, and that only makes things worse. He never calls her Emma, not unless something is important, and she hates herself for this entire situation. She hates that he is able to still have this power over her, that she still loves him so much that she can’t fathom the fact that she’s not with him.

“Emma,” he repeats, kneeling down next to her, his towel opening as he squats, which really doesn’t help the situation at all. “Are you okay?”

“Do you think I’m okay?”

“No.” His thumb reaches up and wipes away the tears on her cheek. That’s the first time she’s felt his touch in five months too. And it’s also what makes her look up to see that he’s got a tear falling onto his cheek too. “I’m sorry, lo – Swan. I’m sorry that you heard the song and that it hurt you.”

“Why’d you write it then? You had to know that I’d hear it eventually.”

“Because I hurt too. Music is how I deal with things. You know this. You’ve always known this. And how the hell else am I supposed to deal with my heartbreak?”

“By writing the damn song and then not putting it on the radio.”

“I had to fulfill my contract. I had to release a new single.”

“Don’t you have another one? One that’s not about us?”

“No.”

She sighs, leaning her head back against the wall and tightly closing her eyes all while she physically aches. She aches for them to be back to normal, aches for this to not be happening anymore. She should have never come here.

“How long are you home?”

“What?” he stutters, his voice visibly shaken.

She opens her eyes and looks back at him, attempting to even her breaths. “How long are you home this time? How long until you have to leave again?”

“A few weeks. I’ve got to go back and meet with the guys for a couple of days at the end of September.”

She doesn’t know why she does what she does next, but before she can stop herself, before she can think straight, she leans forward and slides her lips over his in a harsh, demanding kiss. Her hands are in his hair in an instant, using the soft strands to tug him closer, and his hands find her face, the warmth and roughness of the pads of his fingers holding her to him as well. It’s like being connected, like being right, after so many months of not feeling like herself, of feeling like something in her life is off kilter.

Like something is wrong.

She doesn’t care that they shouldn’t be doing this. She doesn’t care that she shouldn’t be pushing Killian against the floor, the hardwood uncomfortable under her knees, and she doesn’t care that she’s losing her mind over the way that Killian’s groaning into her mouth and thrusting his hips up against hers, the towel doing nothing to hide his arousal.

And she really doesn’t care when they stumble away from the entrance of his apartment and fall back into his bedroom, quickly and surely moving against each other in the way that they always have. He feels good, fantastic, and she knows she should never be thinking about she and Killian together when they’re very obviously having a relapse, a collapse back into the them they used to be.

So she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let herself not enjoy this, but she can’t speak, she can’t return Killian’s words of ecstasy and affection while he moves inside of her and above her. She simply falls into how good, how right, this feels, and figures that she’ll…she’ll figure it all out later.

It turns out when later comes that she’s still not ready to figure it out. She still doesn’t know what to do. Instead of getting up and leaving when they were finished, she didn’t. She stayed. She’s not sure that she had the strength to leave, that she even wanted to, so now she’s wrapped up in one of Killian’s sweaters while her legs are stuck in between his and his hands are trailing through her hair. She feels his heartbeat under her palm, the slow rise and fall of his chest a rhythm that she knows better than any other.

A rhythm that she knows better than any song he’s ever written.

“Sex doesn’t solve our problems, Swan. You know that, right?”

“I know,” she confesses, snuggling closer to him despite everything. “I don’t…we shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t even still be here. I’m not sure what came over me, over us.”“A hell of a lot of emotions.” She feels his lips against her forehead, the sweat that’s gathered there being pushed away. “We’ve got…there’s a lot left between us, love. There was never anything wrong between us, I don’t think. I just wasn’t there.”

“That’s kind of what went wrong. You can’t be in a relationship without being there.”

“But it’s not us. It was the distance, my job.”

“Which is your dream.”

“Aye, it was my dream,” he confirms softly, running his fingers through her hair and down her back. “It is my dream. But I should have never let it come between us. You’ve been my life for half a decade. You have been there for absolutely everything, and I should have tried harder, should have done more.”

“I don’t think there was anything either of us could have done.”

“I could have made more time to call. I could have scheduled breaks between cities. I could have booked a flight for me, for you. I could have done so much to save us, to make you feel less alone.”

“Killian, this isn’t all on you.”

“No, no, it’s not, but I’ve had five months of living alone, even when I wasn’t here, to think about all of the things I could have changed.”

“Me too,” she sighs, lifting her head from his chest and untangling her legs before she moves to the other side of the bed, putting distance between them all the while Killian rubs his hand up and down his face trying to work out the stress lines. “I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t either. Do you even want to try again? Or are we chalking this up to a one-time thing? To a fallback?”

For the first time since she’s shown up here, he sounds as broken as he did during the song. He sounds like she feels, like there’s something missing, something just out of reach. He sounds…he doesn’t sound like Killian. Not the one that she knew. Not the one who woke her up in the mornings with a smile on his face and laughter in his eyes. Not the one who sang while he cooked, often burning the food because he would start writing down the beginnings of a song.

He doesn’t sound like the man who loved her.

The man who she loves.

“I don’t want it to be that,” she answers honestly, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees. “But I can’t go back to how we were…what do you want?”

“You.”

A shiver runs down her spine, gooseflesh popping up on her skin.

“That’s all. You just want me?”

“Always, Emma,” he promises, his lips ticking up on the right and the lines around his eyes crinkling while his tongue clicks. “But you’re right. We can’t…I can’t leave like that. I can’t do things just for me without considering you. And you can’t let me just do it and say that things are okay.”

“I kind of figured you knew things weren’t okay.”

“You’ve never lied to me, so I didn’t expect it then. I always believed the words that you said.”

“So what are we doing, Killian? What do we do?”

He shrugs, sitting up against the headboard. “We try again. We make compromises. We do better. For ourselves. For each other. And maybe I don’t put a song out without letting you know.”She smiles, the first genuine smile without heartbreak hidden behind it, for the first time today. Maybe for the first time in months.

“I’d like that.”

It takes more than one day for things to get back to normal. It takes weeks, months really. Killian was a constant part of her life for five years, but after nearly half a year apart, things don’t simply snap back. Trust has to be rebuilt, routines have to become routine again, and she has to learn that things are never going to be perfect and that compromise is a hell of a lot harder than simply saying the word. You actually have to break and bend, give and give up, but it’s worth it if you want to make things work.

She wants to make things work.

Killian does too.

And the next time she hears a song on the radio that’s about her, Killian’s voice isn’t broken. And neither is her heart.

[apriorisea]

BTS Imagine: Insecure - Hoseok

You exhale in relief as you kick off your heels inside the door of the apartment: work had been kicking your butt lately and you were excited for the weekend. A whole 2 days of absolutely nothing except hanging out with your boyfriend and NOT thinking about work. You rub the back of your neck. “Hobi?”    “In here,” he calls from the bedroom.   ��You smile automatically as you pull off your least-favorite work blazer; you hadn’t realized until just this moment how much you’ve missed him. Your schedules seemed so out of sync lately, to the point where you’d had to turn down his dinner invitation a few times; you’d even missed accompanying him to a music-show taping. In the 7 months the two of you had been together, you hadn’t ever missed even one.    He’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, his computer in front of him, in comfy joggers and his favorite hole-y hoodie. He smiles up at you. “Hi angel,” he says brightly. “How are you?”    “So tired,” you groaned, flopping onto the bed. He immediately adjusts so you can rest your head against his thigh, one of his hands going to stroke your hair automatically. “Why do I keep going back to that place??”    He makes a soft, pitying clucking sound. “Because you love it. Usually.”    You sigh at his reminder and curl into a ball, closing your eyes tight as if that can make his rational statement evaporate. “I guess. But now I have the whole weekend off—-2 whole days without having to worry about deadlines or anything else!”     “That’s good. What do you want to do with all your time off?”     “Sleep and eat and watch dumb TV shows and sleep some more!” You open your eyes when he only makes a quiet ‘hmm’ in response. You roll over to look up at him. “What about you? How was your day?”     He shrugs and looks away from you for the first time. “It was fine. Nothing special.”     You trace the pattern of the logo on his joggers. “Well how about your week? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. How was the taping?”    “Good! You know how much we like going on that show—always an experience.”    “Oh yeah?” you ask, hungry for information. “What happened this time?”    He lifts one shoulder in another half-shrug. “Oh, you know, we made our way through it. I only had to yell at Jin-hyung once.”    You hesitate. It was an answer, but not a real one: you both knew that Hoseok didn’t have to yell at Jin very much anymore. It was clearly a joke, an old one that you hadn’t heard for a long time. “Oh…” you say more slowly. “Nothing else? That host was so rude to you guys last time!”    “Yeah, that was crazy,” he says. “But, you know, it was good. Nothing we can’t handle!”    This makes you frown. “So you’re saying he suddenly got a million times more respectful? Because—”    “It really was fine, angel,” he interrupts you. “What do you want for dinner? Are you hungry? I think some of the guys might be doing pizza night at Jimin’s, if you want?”     You sat up abruptly, knocking his hand away from your hair as you did. “Pizza night with the guys?” you repeat. Something is wrong. The two of you hadn’t been able to hang out alone for the last week, and he’s offering up pizza night with the guys? You look at him carefully.    “Sweetie? Everything okay?”    He doesn’t lose his pleasant expression and that’s when it hits you in the gut: this was the old Hoseok, the one from your first and second and third dates, the one who wasn’t sure how much to trust you, the one who held back from revealing too much, who kept it light and shied away from anything too real. This wasn’t your Hoseok, this was J-Hope, noted sunshine and happy virus from the most popular boy band in the world. The realization stings. “Hoseok…” you say slowly. “I’m really sorry I missed the taping. I wanted to be there, you know I did, I just…my stupid partner at work made another dumb mistake and so I had to fix his mess. I really am sorry.”    He smiles (again) and shrugs (again). “It’s really okay.” He reaches out to close his laptop. “So, what do you think about dinner? We could also go to the ramen place on the corner.”    The busiest and loudest restaurant in the neighborhood. You swallow down your hurt, trying to figure out what could have happened to make him react like this. “Do you not want to be alone with me?” The blunt question rushes out of your mouth in one breath, the words slurring together.    “What??” he blinks in astonishment, but unfortunately for him, you’ve grown too accustomed to his for-the-camera reactions. “Why would you say that? I’m just feeling like some tasty ramen, that’s all.”    You stare him down, waiting for him to break. When he doesn’t, you say, “You guys are filming the new dance practice video on Sunday, aren’t you? How is it going?”    “Oh.” He can’t maintain eye contact. “It’s fine. Great, I mean, you should see the outfit Tae is planning to wear!”    “So you’re not worried about how sloppy the bridge looks anymore?”     “Nah.” He brushes it off with a grin. “We’ll make it work—we always do!”    Another idol-ism. You grind your back teeth in frustration, then go in for the kill. “I was talking to Yoongi yesterday: he said you strained your shoulder during the taping. Is it okay?”     “Of c—”     “Knock it off.” You couldn’t take it anymore. “What is the matter??”     He shifts uncomfortably; you notice that he doesn’t move the strained shoulder very much. “Nothing, angel, I—”     “You’re lying to me,” you accuse. “You haven’t answered any of my questions. This isn’t a real conversation, this is–this is—” You can’t find the right words, so you go for the easiest ones. “This is you being an Idol instead of a boyfriend.”    He looks hurt, but can’t actually deny it. “I—” The edges of his mask start to crack, and in-between the lines you see the real him.    You feel some of your frustration disappear when you see the hurt in his face. You duck your head to catch his eyes, and reach out for him; when your hand lands gently on his shoulder, he winces, and you lean forward automatically. “Hobi,” you say softly. “What is going on?” You move your hand to touch the side of his face and feel him break.    His face crumples. “You don’t love me anymore,” he breathes.    “Excuse me?” You feel your jaw drop slightly. “How exactly did you come up with that?”    He shrugs—you notice that it’s the uninjured shoulder that moves—and the first little tear escapes. “I don’t–I don’t know. You’ve just been gone so much, and I-I know how nice you are, angel, you’d never want to hurt anybody, so I figured…I figured you were just letting me down easy, slowly distancing yourself because you don’t love me anymore, and I just, I didn’t know what to do.”    You take this in slowly: this week must have been even harder for him that you had realized. Between the shoulder injury, the uncomfortable taping, the time spent apart, and the pressures of the job, he had obviously been running himself down and was now at the end of his energy. You felt bad that you hadn’t seen it sooner. Taking a small breath, you lean in and press your lips gently, but firmly, against his cheek. “Okay,” you say as you straighten. “Lay down, sweetheart.”   He looks over at you in surprise.    “Go on,” you encourage, scooting off the bed and putting his computer away for him. “Make sure your shoulder is comfortable.” You give him a look until he follows your instructions, then hurry down the hall to get a heating pad. You wait impatiently while the microwave does its job, every part of you itching to go back to him. When it’s finally done, you go back to the room to find him sitting back against a mountain of pillows, his shoulder supported carefully. You climb onto the bed next to him and set the heating pad gently against his shoulder, wincing with him empathetically. “So,” you say softly, brushing his hair out of his face. “You’ve had a rough week, huh?”    He doesn’t answer, still trying to pull himself together.    You sigh and lean in to kiss him. His eyes close slowly. You smile as you feel his arm wrap around you to hold you in place. After a long moment, you pull away and brush through his hair again. “You really think I don’t love you?” Before he can answer, you add, “I’m really sorry I haven’t been around lately. It killed me not to be at the taping, and I’m so sorry you hurt your shoulder.” You readjust the heating pad.    “I love you, angel,” he says quietly, his hand still resting on your lower back. “I don’t know why I got so crazy, I just….”    “I think you’ve had a long week,” you reassure him. “And…this is the first week we’ve spent completely apart, so maybe this was good.” He scoffs under his breath and you smile. “Okay, not good, but we survived it, right?”    He tugs you down next to him, curling his arm around you. “Barely,” he admits, turning to kiss the side of your head. You feel him wince again as the movement hurts his shoulder.    “For the record,” you say after a second, “One of the best moments of my life so far was when you started opening up to me, when I became your best friend, when I fell in love with you. So when you shut down like that….”    “I’m sorry,” he says immediately. “You are my very best friend,” he adds earnestly. “And I love you more than anything. I’ll be better from here on out.”    You shake your head. “You don’t have to be “better”–just be you.”    He rests his head against yours, content and relaxed again. “Promise.”

[eorzeasfrozenknight]

A Lesson in Defense

A cool wind blows through the forests of the shroud as a certain Dark Knight slowly and carefully treks her way through the shrubbery, having recently been asked for assistance in dealing with a abnormally strong creature that seemed to have the wood wailers of Gridania more than a little spooked. For what reason Yuki didn’t know, all she knew was it was a job with a reasonable sum of money attached but no small part of danger that the wailers seemed all too content on handing off to adventurers to save their own hides.

Gazing up at the moon Yuki sighed internally her expression flat, a large part of her wanting nothing more than to simply return home to her Beloved where she herself felt most at peace. “We always do the bidding of the weak, but this time... feels off.” Yuki hears the voice of her Darkside echoing within her mind as she returns to carefully examining the area before her eyes land on and narrow at the grizzly sight of a mutilated hunter and shroud stag that must’ve been the now unrecognizable Elezens game. ‘What could have done this?’ Yuki Ponders as she inspects the bodies before offering a silent prayer for the departed hunter. As she further inspected the damage Yuki noticed splinters and what seemed to be rather large claw gashes in the ground causing the Knights own concern to deepen on the matter. “Seems like something quite large and powerful attacked them, perhaps it will provide good sport, though i do believe you made the right call in telling the Magus that you took up this quest right before you did.” Her Darkside comments once more. ‘Of course i would tell my Love what i am doing, she would be... very cross with me if i didn’t to say the least, you would know as well as i, we are one in the same after all.’ Yuki dryly remarks to the darkness within swearing she felt it shrug before it chuckled the voice fading for the moment yet again leaving her to investigate further in silence. Several more minutes passed in what felt like bells for Yuki who only felt herself get more tense as time grew on it was quiet... far too quiet for a place such as the shroud which was often teeming with nocturnal fauna only furthering Yuki’s urge to fight whatever may be lurking about knowing its presence was enough to ward off the creatures local to the area even the air was beginning to feel wrong. ‘Kami forbid it’s like when Odin travels through the shroud.’ Yuki remarks to herself before freezing as she hears something move behind her on the opposite end of the clearing Causing her to turn and face it, her left hand instantly raising to the handle of her weapon on reflex as she gazed in it’s direction. After staring at the same spot for a short while Yuki finally saw it emerge and felt initially unimpressed as a much large than normal Treant lumbered into the clearing before she quickly took stock of its appearance, noting how this one seemed tougher than previous Treants she had seen. Sensing the Pale Knights gaze upon it the Treant turned to look at Yuki with dark abyssal purple and flaming coal eyes as it studied what it thought to be its next victim. Yuki stared back flatly only her posture giving away that she was ready to strike as she drew her Caladbolg holding it just off to the side in a one handed stance patiently awaiting its opening strike, Yuki didn’t have to wait long as the Treant howled violently before charging wildly at the waiting Knight. With a grunt Yuki parried one of the creatures strikes and barely dodged around its follow up before she herself swung her blade around in a wide arc its edge biting deeply into the Treants trunk before it howled in rage and batted Yuki across the clearing as it recovered from the counter strike. Tumbling as she was struck Yuki quickly rolled to a stop as her world spun and she tried to rise only for the treant to be upon her before she could centre herself, this thing wanted her gone and she knew it. Taking a stumbling step back Yuki narrowly avoids the full might of its downward swing however hisses in pain as she feels the tip of its outermost claw score a glancing cut down the top of her left most forehead, left eye and left cheek bone the hit dislodging her glasses smashing them on the forest floor the sound of which made Yuki tsk as her left eye snapped shut from her own blood entering the socket and making it sting. “Dammit-.” Yuki begins before the monsters follow up swing collects her and throws her clean across the clearing and tumbling once more though mercifully for her equilibrium she didn’t roll and only slid this time. Having managed to retain her grip on her weapon this whole time, her rising growl being the only sign that she was all but done with this jacked up Treant and was about to make it hurt as goes to reach into the hard case on her hip her right side feeling tender from the blow the treant had dealt her. ‘thats going to bruise... lovely.’ Yuki remarks interally as she slips a spare pair of glasses on as swiftly as she can before making ready as the enraged Treant advances upon her once more. Eyes narrowing at its advance Yuki quickly sets herself on the attack her Darkside adding its own strength to her own on reflex as she avoids its opening attacks only this time Yuki takes one of the offending limbs off a trail of darkness flowing from the blade as she cleaves at least one of the Treants tools away. ‘Where’s the core on this bastard.’ Yuki thinks rapidly as she somewhat sluggishly avoids another slashing attack by its claws leading Yuki landing a spinning slash to its midriff again before feeling her darkside split off and join the fray. Stagging back the treant looks at Yuki before halting the puny pest it had sought to kill had become two? No matter it would end them both and with such primal instinct driving it the Treant charged once more. ‘we need to find its core... atop its head perhaps?” Yuki asks internally getting a mental hum of confirmation from her Darkside as they press the attack, her darkness twisting and flowing with a terrifying grace through the beasts attacks while Yuki opted to either block or parry them before countering knowing all too well her balance was very much terrible to begin with. Working in a tag team with her Darkside they work on taking the large Treants legs out from under it and after few solid hits succeed in toppling the enraged beast as it flailed attempting to right itself, its form littered with cuts and cracks from the weight of the weapons colliding with it. Rushing as swiftly as she can to its exposed top Yuki is swiftly joined by her Darkside who wastes no time in rejoining the whole before Yuki poises her blade at the Treants top and with a shout charges forth, her Darkside adding its own might as a force multiplier as she lances her Caladbolg through the canopy and into the body before discharging a flood of Darkness directly into the Treants core swiftly felling the creature that Yuki only prayed hadn’t claimed the lives of too many lesser fighters. Huffing from the fight Yuki takes a moment to steady herself before sheathing her sword and staggering over to the Treants corpse and retrieving a proof of kill mark from the fiend before righting herself and checking her injuries and hissing as her plated fingers brush the open cuts on her face. ‘Gods thats going to scar isn’t it?’ Yuki asks herself her outward expression shifting slightly towards annoyance as she continues to assess her current state before deeming herself fit enough to at least travel to claim the bounty. After taking a moment to regain her breath Yuki rose quietly and began slowly making her way back to Gridania to report to the Wood wailers of situation, as she walked she couldn’t help but wonder what her Beloved would think of the new scar initially, though if Yuki had learnt something that night it was that she certainly should work on getting a proper Helm and perhaps do something  to make it suitable for her glasses. With such thoughts Yuki pressed onward to Gridania still yet unawares of the trials she was yet to face in the moons to come.

[citrusbones]

[RP Logs] Crushed Oranges.

((Below the cut is the interaction between Kopis & Citrus. Rated V for violence and broken bones. Also rated A for extreme asshole-ry.))

Kopis

[ When Citrus  appears, it wouldn't appear that he was on the porch, as the coordinates would normally take him - no, he was in the path of the forest, and standing in front of him... was Pippap... Or was it?

He looked bigger. Taller. He wasn't wearing his usual outfit.

And worse, he was silent. ]

Citrus 

[....]

[Something about this felt...off.]

[Pippap was tall. Well. Taller than usual.  They hadn't turned, either, the location striking him as odd due to the fact that they were supposed to be baking together. Perhaps something was up?]

".....Pippap?"

[When he speaks, his voice is somewhat concerned, and the swap steps closer, a hand raised, as if to touch the others back---though he never makes contact.] "You alright, buddy?"

Kopis

[ ...Giggles slip from the tall skeleton. The voice sounds noticeably gruffer. Hardened. The giggles then grow into laughter, stopping after a few moments, as the Fell turns around.

" WRONG MAN, ORANGE. "

[ He grins madly. ]

" BUR WE CAN STILL HANG OUT TOGETHER.~ "

[ Sharp claws then shoot towards that face, grabbing it and holding it tightly. ]

This wasn't Pippap. ]

Citrus 

[This ISN'T Pippap.]

[Eyes snap wide, and he takes a frantic step back, only to yelp as a hand grabs him by the face, preventing him from getting away. Citrus  should have known better. If stepping back wouldn't have gotten him out of the regular Pippaps reach, he was a fool to think he could escape a man who's reach was a whole foot longer than before.]

[Hands come up to shove at Kopis ' wrist, the smaller skeleton making a noise of fright.]

"L-Leggo'a me!"

Kopis 

[ Shock. Fear. Terror. These three things made him hungry to see more, to see that pathetic gaze when they realize what they're in for. As those claws latch onto that head, the iron grip prevents Citrus  from moving, from doing anything to possibly stop it, even as he's slowly lifted from the ground effortlessly.

Kopis  laughs madly, and thus his thumb slowly begins applying more pressure... And more pressure... Until soon, it's digging through the bone of Citrus ' skull, and soon into his socket. ]

" WHY WOULD I DO THAT, WHEN I COULD HAVE FUN WITH YOU INSTEAD? "

[ He's grinning, the skeleton now beginning to squeeze lightly... With the force increasing more and more. ]

" YOUR BELOVED PIPPAP IS GONE. "

Citrus 

[The pain in his head begins to blossom as he's lifted away from the ground, held aloft by the skeleton who apparently had a lot of upper arm and core strength. Legs kick futily through the air, and his head fills with the sound of the others dastardly laughter, even as sharp pain kicks in on the right side of his face, just next to his eyesocket.]

"S-Stop----"

[Is he pleading?  Oh, most definitely, his right eye wincing as the pressure grows on that side, while the left eye grows wide at Kopis 's words, horror growing tenfold as dread sinks into him.]

[Pippap?] [Gone?]

Kopis 

" MAYBE IF YOU BEG MORE, I WON'T BE AS BRUTAL. "

[ Let him hear those pleading, crying and fearful words, dripping with dread - all he wants to see is the sight of this skeleton dusting slowly, the more he drags this out.

And thus, the pressure is only increasing more. On and on, until sickly sweet cracks could be heard. And Kopis ' just seemed smug. ]

" I CAN SEE THAT TERROR ON YOUR FACE, ORANGE. DON'T WORRY... I'LL SPREAD YOUR DUST ON HIS WHEN I AM FINISHED WITH YOU. "

Citrus 

[It HURTS. It hurts, and the other hasn't even done anything yet. In fact, while that thumb has begun to dig in, and Kopis  has begun to squeeze, the weight of his body hanging from that hand is doing the damage for the taller skeleton, adding pressure to the spot where a claw was shoving in, a small hole beginning to form, cracks splintering along the edges ot it.]

[At this rate, that thumb will be in his eyeocket.]

[Now, a foot makes contact with Kopis . Citrus  is literally attempting to kick him off, for all the good it will do him, bare feet bumping harmlessly against the others hip, before digging in, attempting to use him as leverage to pull himself away, all while he lets out short 'nyehs' of pain.]

"Let go!"

Kopis 

[ He could see the damage that he was making. Terrible cracks, hurting this tiny skeleton and making him suffer. All Citrus  would be able to see was that face, grinning at him deviously...

He can't help but laugh, feeling that foot make contact with him, kicking uselessly and trying to pull away... The pressure increases. ]

" THE MORE YOU STRUGGLE, THE MORE IT WILL HURT. "

Citrus 

"N--Ny----Nnn---"

[The pressure increases, and his legs fall down again, while his hands redouble their efforts to try and pull the others hand away, squeezing as tight as they can manage. Which, as one can imagine, does very little against the other male. And thats when he begins to feel it.]

[The way his eyesocket throbs, how the bone seems to bend---]

C R U N C H

[Kopis 's thumb is now in his eyesocket, and the eyelight there scatters from pain, a shriek echoing around the forest, sending birds flying from their perches. His hands grip the others wrist still, but more to keep him grounded as he twitches and jerks in the others grasp, cracked pieces of bone falling into his socket, as well as down to the ground. Through it all, the tight grip endures.]

[Only, now, the other has a better handle on the situation.]

Kopis 

[ The grin gets maniacal. He can see the cracks forming, the bending, the noises.

And there it caved. He rejoices in that delightful scream, closing his eyes for a moment, before refocusing on Citrus . The pressure is becoming more. ]

" SCREAM. BEG FOR MERCY. NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU. "

Citrus 

"S-Stop--"

[The word was meant to be sharper, but it sounds more like a plea, tears of orange and yellow beginning to well up as his socket screams with agony, that thumb now putting crushing pressure on the side of his nose. With this new grip, Kopis  could hold on that much more securely.]

[Which meant in turn, that he could put more force on that already cracked, fragile bone.]

[Citrus  does scream as he feels the first crack splinter across his face, as hairline fractures begin to take form on his cheekbone, on the left side of his head. His hands are clawing at the others arm as he begs for mercy that part of him has already realized won't be given.]

Kopis 

[ It's all too satisfying to see this weaker, pitiful version of him struggle and beg for mercy, going through so much pain... He's not stopping, instead increasing the pressure more... And eventually, once it seemed just at the point of shattering the skull completely, Kopis  stops, seemingly giving him that mercy he begged for...

Only to throw him far, into the nearest tree. ]

Citrus 

[The air fills with the sound of more cracking bones, this time more akin to the sound of someone taking a bag of Tortilla chips, placing it on the ground, and then stamping on it.]

[He doesn't even get the chance to scream, before Kopis  draws his arm back, and throws Citrus  across the clearing, to crash chest-first into the closest tree. There's another CRUNCH, and he feels sick suddenly, much like he had when the human cut into him, three years ago.]

[Lying there, in the snow, a weak groan is heard, before he tries to get to his feet, tries to gather his magic in preparation for a shortcut.]

Kopis 

[ He's barely given time to breathe as Kopis  teleports and makes his way to try and dig his heel into this alternate's spine. ]

" WOULDN'T IT BE FUN IF YOU PORTED AWAY IN TWO HALVES, MY LOVE? "

Citrus 

['My Love'.]

[The pressure on his spine hurts---he can feel it threatening to split apart at the vetebrae as the others heel digs down on them. But he also feels something else aside from fear and pain.]

[Anger.]

[Overwhelming, unbridled anger. It results in a surge of bones spiking up from beneath the other skeleton, forcing that leg up and away under threat of impalement as sharp-edged bones, with a mixture of neutral, blue, and orange magic, form a defensive cage around him.]

Kopis 

[ He blinks, jumping away the moment he can feel something against his foot, and then staring as Citrus  formed a few bones... He doesn't seem to care, just smiling... ]

" SEEMS YOU FINALLY GREW A SPINE, DIDN'T YOU? "

[ He chuckled, approaching Citrus  again, and then forming a sharp bone club in his hand, trying to knock away the bones so he could jump on him again.]

Citrus 

[The one eyelight in his face that still has some shape to it stares blearily at the other male, pouring his magic into the bones sheltering him, strengthening them as much as he can. Kopis  cracks the club against them, but they stand tall and firm.]

[Now he devotes his attention to thinking around the pain, forming coordinates in his mind, orange magic bleeding from his sockets as he begins to picture the living room of Muffins house.]

Kopis 

[ He's not going to be stopped by a few bones. He grunts as he uses more of his strength this time, now hitting them again, hard enough to hopefully make them either dissipate or go flying. He would glare, jumping, and then trying to stomp on Citrus ' spine again... ]

" YOU'RE NOT LEAVING. "

Citrus 

"BITE ME."

[The bones crumble inward, and as Kopis  attempts to slams down on him, his magic expells outward, a backlash to send the other skeleton reeling on his feet---if not to fall over entirely.]

[Citrus  has vanished---but he'll have several things to remember this incident by.]