#i cant believe ill have him on my main account like

[darabeatha]

/ ITS FINALLY HAPPENING FOLKS- c.onstantine is coming s o o n

[touyaistrying]

pinned post

hello my name is touya. im a persecutor in a system who is trying to reform. the main systems account is -> @houseofpoets

ill mostly be posting about reforming, trying to get better, struggling with all of this mental bullshit, etc. this is not an account to persuade others to keep doing bad things. this is also not an account to try and excuse all the bad things i have done. if you arent into that, then move on. here is some general stuff about me - he/him - i am 26, but the body i am in is a minor - i have been in this system for about 3 or 4 years - i am an introject, but id prefer if people didnt mention my source - i started to look into reforming after an old host took notes about me and others who were causing trouble and had some things in there that werent true about me. it also held things about someone in the system who i helped out that were absolutely horrible. after i learned about the things he had done, which i didnt know about, i realized that everyone in the system thought these horrible things about me. no one ever talked to me, i hurt people, and i didnt get close to anyone, so they all believed it. i felt awful, and i realized i am awful. i didnt want that perception anymore, especially after talking to the old host about those things he wrote and making sure he knew i didnt support anything the guy did. he told me i should talk to a friend of ours, and i did. now im trying to get better. my systems dni is on their account, but here is a mini one - sysmeds (we are pro-endo) - proshippers, anti/antis, maps/pedos - ableist, racist, lgbtq+phobic, etc. - terfs/transmeds - against good faith identies - obviously if you dont like persecutors or think persecutors cant get better - if you wanna start fights just leave, im trying to get away from that shit ill be trying to tag things like unreality when i recognize it. if you need me to tag something feel free to message or send an ask about it.

[rnisa]

Could i get a death note mach up plz? I feel weird describing myself ngl XD

Im 5'0 (152cm) and i have shoulder length brown hair and eyes. I also have glasses. I love to read, draw, and ice skate. I think i can be quite a shut in, not really going outside much. But i do love to spend time with friends when their not busy. I think i can be kinda touchy when im around people i love (lots of random hugs, kisses on the cheek, and hair ruffling for my little brothers lol) i can be blunt sometimes. I never mean to be rude, but sometimes i dont think before i talk. Besides that, i often always put others first and can be very protective of them (i almost fist fought someone cause they pulled a knife to my dad. Iv never even punched anyone/thing but i was ready to throw down XD which is super dumb) i also do it with emotional issues, which i admit can be very draining. Im not the smartest person if u couldnt tell XD sometimes it takes me a minute to respond cause i cant focus, or sometimes ill just be really dumb, like when i thought new zealand was in the US for wayy to long. Apart from personality, i mainly like to dress punk or emo with ripped jeans, boots, lots of red and black. Or the complete oppisite and wear yellow sun dresses ang do a full cottagecore look, my style changes weekly pretty much.

Srry that was so long, i also ramble a lot XD

Of course you can, gorgeous! And thank you for being my first-ever Death Note matchup!!! Don't worry about describing yourself; it's definitely an interesting thing to do, though sometimes difficult. And no need to apologize for the length - the more you give me, the better! If all you gave me was "Hey I'm a cancer and I have brown hair," that wouldn't do me much good x,D So please, ramblings are always welcome <3 You didn't mention your sexuality so I cannot take that into account, I am purely going based off of personality and character alone. Hope that's okay! I got your message while I was at work, and I thought about it (instead of, y'know. Doing work) and I would match you up with...

Mello

While I don't have the greatest grasp on his character, I believe you two could be a good (and bad) fit for a few reasons. Mello wouldn't necessarily mind you being a "shut in", though he leads a semi-active lifestyle, as long as you'd be willing to do something with him here and there, you're okay. Doesn't have to be anything crazy - outings with just the two of you would be fine. Going for a motorcycle ride, a relaxing hike, or at a theme park once a month would be enough to keep him content. I do think he would want a more outdoorsy partner, but at the end of the day, he feels safer knowing you're home where the chances of you getting hurt are small. So it's not a deal-breaker if you'd rather be at home, just don't prevent him from going out when he wants to pop open a cold one with the boys, and you're fine.

I picture Mello as being very physically affectionate, so your advances would be welcomed. He enjoys showing you off and he loves coddling you, loves it when you cling to him or hold his hand/arm in public.

The main reason I think you two would be a good match, though, is how feisty you seem to be. If I'm reading into it correctly, it sounds like you're very passionate about your feelings, and you may be pretty emotional - which strikes me very similarly to Mello. Not to say people need to be identical to be a match, but I think when two people with that sort of energy come together it can be a beautiful thing. You're each others' ride or die, when you're on the same page everything is amazing and you feel on top of the world...but when you disagree, your fights are explosive. You might give each other the silent treatment. You might be petty and hold onto grudges, rather than talk it out in the first place. You both might joke about being a little toxic and crazy, though you are mostly only crazy for each other... In some ways, you may enable each other with your respective "bad" behaviors, but good things can come from it, too. At the end of the day, both of you know that he has your back, and you have his. And nobody is a better hype-person than he is for you, and you are for him. However, it would be nice if, at times, you are able to be the more "logical" person to help keep him grounded.

Sometimes he might tease you a little too much when you "say something dumb" ((A/N: You're not dumb. It took me two years to understand what 'irony' was.)) and your feelings may get hurt. But if you're able to communicate this with him, Mello will apologize and feel bad.

I don't think fashion/style is important to him (for a partner - Mello definitely loves fashion for himself) but from the description of how you dress, I think Mello would find it very attractive. I can see him liking the whole e-girl / e-boy aesthetic. Maybe it's just me but I feel like Mello is a simp. Like he has the capacity to be a simp for his partner... Maybe I'm just projecting but I also think he's into the whole bimbo / himbo thing, in a partner. But maybe that's just me speaking, as I love bimbos and himbos.

Thank you for messaging me, this was fun! I'm sorry if it wasn't a character you wanted - it's just what I think, and nothing here is at all factual! Secondary Matchups: Misa Amane, Touta Matsuda. I won't give an explanation for these here, but if you are interested to hear why for these two, just send another ask and say "Hey! I'm this anon [post link to this ask] can you explain why Misa and/or Matsuda?" and I would be more than happy to write them up for you ^.^ They just wouldn't be as long/detailed as I found Mello the most fitting.

[gendieanonsideblog]

my dni and boundaries [ but its a separate post :O ] dni !! - racist , against equal rights movements [ blm , acab , sah ] , you make racist jokes that arent yours to make , support movements that are racist in nature [ bluelm , alm ] , xenophobic - islamphobic , antisemetic , against religion / arent critical of your religion [ ex : christian and homophobic ] - white suppremist , nazi , fascist , classist - use slurs you cant reclaim - lgbtphobic [ lesbiphobic , homophobic , biphobic , panphobic , transphobic , exclusionist , etc ) , you believe dysphoria is needed to be trans , against good faith identities - anti mogai , anti xenoidentities / neopronouns / nounpronouns / emojipronouns , anti neuroidentities , trans exclusionary radical feminist / t(w)erf / swerf / any branches that are against trans people , super straight / gay / lesbian etc - aspec exclusionist / aphobe / arophobe / acephobe , believe that aspec means acespec , aspec / arospecs inherently cant feel any attraction whatsoever , lump all aromantic people in with asexual people - think only acepecs can use the split attraction model , that the split attraction model is inherently harmful / useless / etc - pronoun policer [ against he / him lesbians , she / her vincians ] - mock terms like " aplatonic " " queerplatonic " etc - pedophile , map / no map / aam , zoophile , lolicon / shotacon , etc , supporters of these - fujoshi / fundashi , fetishize any lgbtq+ relationships / pairings / etc , romanticize abuse / toxic relationships / mental illnesses - ableist , against researched self - dx , demonize mental disorders , you fakeclaim/invalidate did/osdd or any other disorder/mental illness , believe in the ideal that plurality is a disorder and not a structure - anti anti whether it be ship / sys / etc course - arent critical of the content you consume - dont disconnect paraphiles from their disorder , you think theyre all bad because of their disorder , demonize them [ explaination : im not necessarily full on pro para , i just hate seeing beings believe that being a paraphile makes the being bad its like saying beings with npd are bad ] - pro shipper , believe fiction doesnt affect reality , cosang / incestuous , etc , supporter [ if you are a para and use proship to cope i do understand that however i dont want to see any 18+ x minor so itd be better if you didnt interact :[ /lh ] - have a history of causing drama -  against the use tone indicators [ if you cant use tone tags for any reasons like neurodivergency then you can still interact , just be weary i might ask /lh ] - under 13   - danganronpa/yandere simulator/genshin impact main [ unless i interact first ] - anti furry - talk a lot about discourse [ unless i interact first ] - you don't like pineapples on pizza /j - nsfw account , nsfw littlespace / agereg acc / supporter - use or support terms like transrace / transabled [ hesitant on transage , preferred to use a different term /lh ] boundaries !! - i dont mind compliments as long as it applies to my enpronouns !! - please utilize the ask me / anon when talking to me !! - blatantly asking me " can we be friends ?? " is something im very uncomfortable with - that being said only dm for business purposes or if were close - i dont use the tw tags only cw 

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

Ultimately in general, do you think Paul is into men? Or like do you think he tried something with guys?

(I just wanna take 2 seconds to say that ive been taking painkillers recently, and although they’re pretty mild, they still leave me a bit disoriented. So if im talking utter rubbish - that seems out of the ordinary to usual nonsense - that might be why)

In my ever so humble opinion, I don’t think Paul is bisexual/gay, and ill outline my main reasons for believing he is straight:

1. Paul has stated that he is straight, and has never claimed to be bisexual/gay

Paul has been known to lie in interviews, and with him being an 80 year old man, whose been married 3 times with children, and is one of the most iconic, beloved and respected figures of the 20th century, it is understandable why he might want to keep his bisexuality concealed (assuming that he is bi). Its a lot of pressure to put on one person - and if you include the addition of him having a relationship with John, thats even more pressure. If he were to reveal he had a relationship with John, he would be all alone in that declaration, because of course John is not here to stand with him. Plus, he’d be changing the entire narrative to the Beatles breakup; and id assume that if him and John did have a sexual/romantic relationship, there must be parts that were messy, and mean-spirited. We know how dark the breakup was, even without the involvement of sex/romance. Paul tends to resist talking about heavier subjects, so I think an interviewer would have a lot of trouble discussing sexuality with Paul. So of course its possible Paul could be lying, and he has a reason to; but I do think that his word is worth something, and the fact that he has never identified himself as being bi is still something worth accounting for. It doesn’t have to be end of every discussion concerning Pauls sexuality, after all, there were times John appeared to claim he wasn’t bi, but its still just a factor to consider.

2. The lack of rumours concerning Pauls sexuality

When it comes to John, we have the word of several people to account for his sexuality (eg. Yoko, Pete Townsend, David Bowie) - and even John’s own words validate this. Of course, John could’ve been kidding with every comment he made about his bisexuality, and I suppose it is something we’ll never know the real answer to; but I feel we have enough reason here to at least doubt and call into question Johns sexuality. But with Paul, there appears to be few people accounting for him being anything other then straight. Rumours are obviously not the most reliable sources in the world, but they’d at least be suggestive of something. I get the feeling that with John, his bisexuality might have been a sort of “open secret” amongst many (“John Lennon had reputedly spoken to mutual friends of his own experiments [with homosexuality]” - Pete Townsend). And perhaps Paul being bisexual is an “open secret”, but ive personally never heard anyone make that claim, so I just wouldn’t be able to say with any real certainty.

And in fairness, as a few different people have pointed out, it could just be that Paul has a great PR team - I mean, he very rarely seems to have an controversies, so it must be a pretty damn good PR team - but then again, it could also just be that there has never been a substantiated claim to Paul having had sexual/romantic relations with another man. Perhaps we’ll find out more once Paul (I hate to say) dies, but for now, we remain at a loss.

3. The evidence for Paul being bisexual overall just isn’t strong enough for me

There are things that might make me doubt my belief that Paul is heterosexual. I can see the argument for song lyrics supposedly being telling of the truer nature of their relationship (eg. Dear Boy, The Long And Winding Road, Oh Darling!, Coming Up, Call Me Back Again). Even the Lennon/McCartney breakup on a whole shows a profound emotional turmoil between the two, that is somewhat evocative of a breakup between lovers. And then of course, there are the looks and off-hand remarks that maybe tell us something about the two. But at the end of the day, none of these things are concrete enough to convince me that Paul is bisexual, or that him and John had a full-blown relationship; it just feels like speculation to me. And I think we run a danger to some extent in pointing to things like “song lyrics” as certain evidence that Paul is attracted to men (specifically, John), because the way people express and articulate themselves is complicated and messy, and somewhat difficult to comprehend. Especially with lyrics as an art form, they are not always as straight forward as we may perceive them to be. The “evidence” that I would consider the most reliable, are probably things either Paul or John have said in interviews, or anecdotes involving the two (especially from the breakup). But as I said before, its just not concrete enough for me.

As for your second question, id hazard a guess to say he tried something, at least once, with a guy. I couldn’t prove this, but I just feel like most people will experiment at least once with someone of the same sex, and with Paul being an already-progressive guy who has knowingly surrounded himself with and supported gay people for decades, I feel like at some point or another maybe he just tested the waters y’know. Like he’s probably at least kissed a guy, just to find out. But like I said, I cant prove that claim, but its just a guess from me.

If anyone has any “evidence” - I always feel a bit silly for some reason saying “evidence” when discussing someones sexuality - concerning Pauls sexuality that I didn’t discuss here, or disagrees with anything ive said, feel free to challenge me on this! I am intrigued to hear why you guys believe Paul is bi!

[hello-yue-here]

Yuetara, zukka, and maiko

yuetara

ship

1) its not one of my main ships. i dont rlly read fanfic for them but if i see a cute fanart of them ill enjoy it and i think i first started shipping it because of good fanarts for them.

2) i like yuetara because of how similar they are. theyre both women from the water tribe. they both understand the misogyny that they have faced. and they both said f sexism im gonna be a strong woman. i also love the tui and la parallel. moon spirit and ocean spirit parallel COME ON. YUE IS THE MOON. KATARA IS THE MOST POWERFUL WATERBENDER. THEY ARE THE OCEAN AND THE MOON. the push and pull they could give eachother. that dynamic ftw.

3) i guess if i didnt like something about this ship would be the fact that if i read a fic or see a fanart w yuetara then than means in that particular au i wont get any yuekka and yuekka is probably my second favorite ship. but then again if i get yuetara than i could get a plethora of other sokka ships to go with it so my sadness disappears in like two seconds. gosh shipping is hard sometimes until you remember ‘hey i have like fifty different universes in my head. all ur ships can coexist in ur brain olivia’ other than that i really see no downsides to this ship. maybe i wish it had more content. maybe if it had more content id ship it a lot more but its not one of the more popular ships so the content is kinda few n far between on my feed.

zukka:

SHIPPP

1) my boys. my babies. my loves. i watched this show for the first time when it came out on netflix and when it ended i really didnt ship anything other than kataang. i came onto tumblr to find fun atla content and one of the very first things i saw under the atla tag was zukka content. i was like oh? whats this? zukka? interesting... i was intrigued so i found a list of fic recs and i fell in love with the ship. the rest is history. its probably my number one ship because it was my very first ship here and im nostalgic

2) oh boy there is so much i like about this ship. i relate to a shit ton of characters in atla. but sokka and zuko may be the ones i relate to most. i relate to sokka because i tend to feel second best a lot to my friends. i try to stay positive but things rarely go the way i plan or hope for them too and while im happy for my friends and their achievements i oftentimes find myself thinking why cant that be me? and i see this a lot in sokka especially in sokkas master. i dont feel special a lot and idk seeing sokka feel the same way and then realizing he is special kinda helped me realize that im special too. on the flipside i relate to zuko because i have wild anger issues and difficulty dealing w my emotions a lot as well. i get broody and short tempered and insecure very often and i tend to push people away and i refuse to ask for help (the amount of teachers and adults and therapists who have told me its okay to ask for help ur not any weaker because of it is astounding. do i listen to them? .....im working on it.) and i saw a shit ton of this in zuko. book one and two zuko rarely asks for help as seen in the blue spirit and zuko alone and he pushes away uncle so many times and even when the gaang iffers to help him in i think its the chase he tells them to leave. when he finally has his redemption and joins the gaang and lets them kinda become a better person i was so happy. i want that for myself yk. seeing him finally win the agni kai and overcome his family that always told him he was nothing was such a win. my sister and i get along but when we were children we were very much like zuko and azula. it was extremely competitive all the time and there was so much toxicity and sibling drama to a concerning extent. we get along great now which im very happy about but yeah their sibling relationship hit a lil too on the nose for me. seeing as i relate to these character so much and want them ti be happy i want to live vicariously through them so seeing them together is amazing for me to project into them. i love projecting onto fictional characters and with them i can project onto BOTH so its a winwin. plus so many zukka fics are so well written and heartwarming and heartbreaking and emotional and fluffy anf UGH the talent here us astounding.

3) what do i not like about the ship? again the list is long. oops. mainly the toxic shippers. there are so many toxic zukka stans that sometimes make it hard for me to enjoy this ship but hey! thats what the block button is for:) i despise how often people infantilize zuko and completely ruin his character for the sake of making him a soft weak lil boy who needs protecting. thats just not zuko for me. and ive seen many many accounts even state that this kind of portrayal of zuko is rooted in racist stereotypes about asian men (now i am white so i personally have never experiences racism but i feel the need to bring that up because it is wrong and attention needs to be brought to it because a lot of poc fans have criticised this) and the same for sokka. some ppl rlly skew his character and make him a big strong brute and hypermasculine and once again poc fans have said that this take is rooted in racist stereotypes. again! these are just my opinions! this is my favorite ship! but i think its important to acknowledge some of the bad parts of our ships as well and be critical where criticism is needed :))

maiko

ship

1) I LOVE MAIKO. “i dont hate you” “i dont hate you too” BRUH. my little heart just burst into flames. im sorry guys but maiko is so cute. they hate everything except eachother. BRUH that is one of the cutest tropes. i shipped them the moment i saw them together onscreen and i was so happy when zukos face lit up in the finale when mai came back.

2) “i hate everything but i have a soft spot for you” TAKE MY MONEY I AM A SUCKER FOR THIS. they are so cute together. like zuko is rarely happy in a majority of atla but mai makes him happy and i- 🥺🥺 HE DESERVES IT. and mai is always so supportive of him. when hes stressing out about the war meeting she tries her best to comfort him. and zuko cares about her too. he may not be the best at showing it but oh my god hes TRYING HIS BEST. i think its a very accurate portrayal of teenage relationships because they arent perfect and they do fight but like,, every teenage relationship does that. and even after everything and how he left her in the fire nation she still had his back at boiling rock. she still risked her life against azula to save his butt.

3) the thing i hate about maiko isnt even about maiko. its about antis who think mai is toxic and that zuko deserves better. that has got to be the worst take ive ever heard. they had a fight in ember island. that is NORMAL. they are teenagers. they are not perfect. but underneath all the rough edges and things they need to work out they still care about eachother so freaking much. i genuinelt believe that neither of them would do anything to intentionally hurt the other and i think thats what matters the most. if anything mai is the best girlfriend in the entire world because zuko fucked up like,, quite a few times. he got rlly jealous and dumped her thru a letter and ppl always say that mai was toxic for being mad at him for those two things. umm she had every right to be mad at him for both of those. and while zuko is allowed to feel his emotions and be angry sometimes as well sometimes he needs to think things thru and realize that hey maybe some if this jealousy is unfounded. BUT EVEN THEN. HE RESPECTED HER FEELINGS AND DIDNT TOUCH HER WHEN SHE SAID DONT TOUCH ME. HE RESPECTED HER. so i hate toxic maiko takes because they are literally so wrong in my opinion.

again all of these are just my opinions!! feel free to agree or disagree but please be respectful!! i will respect whatever u think as well because this is all just for fun :)

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[thedarkestcrew]

Nico and Ruby being pals because why not part 1

For all their wonderful ideas; @east-river-burned and @thedarkestminds  i love them and didn't realize there were so many active TDM accounts! go follow them, amazing

part 2

Ruby's main drive for the Thurmond attack was she felt like she left a bunch of kids behind when the league took her out in TDM. I believe that Nico has the same guilt and feels like the other kids would have benefited a lot more from being "outside" and maybe he deserves to be in camp rather than being a useless green. 

One night Ruby is talking about this to him and he starts sobbing because he's so relived that he's not alone and that he has someone he can talk to. Ruby and her new found need to help everyone instantly starts comforting him and stops pushing him away

Ruby tells Nico that its okay. that nothing is his fault either with Jude.  he absolutely breaks down because yes they're family but some times its good to hear it after being abandoned by everyone that loved him - Jude, parents, Clancy, Cate left, Vida didn't make a real effort to be his friend. it just feels nice to know he matters to someone after his only friends died (Jude and Blake)

have you seen how Ruby and Nico are just comfy being (Low key) depressed together in ITA when the finally talked about Jude. That's the supportive energy I need in my life

also they've been through so much together

1. They were both manipulated by the same person that they thought loved them 

2.Both Thurmond freak kiddies 

3. Loved Jude and had to loose him and both thought of it as their fault

the way they'll just get a night mare about Clancy, camp, Jude, you name it and just call each other to deal is great

you know those two nerds just hang out listening to music and full out sobbing but also dancing around like maniacs( just flailing their arms around bc these two gawky teens cant dance to save their lives)or they'll be regular sobbing on the floor and Vida will throw blankets at them to “muffle the sound”

Ruby’s parents or Cate calling Liam and is like " uh hey Ruby and Nico and singing along to " Drivers License" and crying... are you and Ruby good?" que Liam freaking out thinking Ruby is going to break up with him

omg Cate she’ll come home too many times to them crying on the floor or something and feels obligated to get water so they don't dehydrate themselves 

No one can convince me Nico doesn't go into 3 am depression bakes till cate wakes up to 90 brownies and drags him back to bed and then he ships a bunch to Ruby in the morning

She gets so exited when she hears the mailman come because it's either Liam sending letters to be cute, or Nico's famous shortcake

Ruby being frustrated with the government sometimes and Nico is like " you know what, pardon my French but SCEW them. I'm going to hack into that politician's computer and make the WIFI connection really bad! That'll show them!"

she knows it wont do anything major but she appreciates that someone she considers family wound do something like that for her even if it risks him getting in trouble

MOVIE NIGHTS 

like the saddest movie marathons

need to have water bottles on stand by or they'll get light headed

Vida walking in and saying they look like miserable slugs whos mother died, but getting them popcorn none the less

Zu comes in with chubs and they join in because government people know how to drain the life out of you

poor cate has to come home to 5 of her kids sobbing on the floor throwing popcorn at her tv... she slowly backs out

sometimes after a nightmare about Clancy or Camp or Jude they'll call the other and become quite support for the other because ya, Liam and Vida are amazing friends but sometimes the “we can talk about it and ill try to make you happy “ and “lets go hit the gym for relief” attitude isn't what they need

also their sleep schedules are so messed up Nico will be fully awake at 3 am coding and Ruby will just decide to rearrange her room because the bed is not in the command position and it makes her nervous so great times to call the other

Maybe they'd both talk about Clancy and get some closure about being used. Like I know Ruby took the high road at the end of ita but before than she'd start shaking when she heard his name after he verbally (and sexually) abused her. He's the main reason she can't trust anyone. (before coming to east river she was beginning to get close with lee but than CLANCY got in the way and made her take like 3 steps back.) Maybe she has some doubts about taking the high road but Nico talks to her and shares some good memories of him so she feels like she DID do the right thing and didn't just give a monster a perfect life and allowed him to be happy when he was the reason that Cole died

also ruby feeling horrible and blaming herself for Cole like “I should have known Clancy was in my head. I could have been better. I Should have been better instead of allowed my self to be manipulated and now Cole … Cole is dead because I was too weak..” Nico will take absolutely none of that because he’s seen Clancy use his abilities and understands that no one can over come something like that and that she should stop sulking and instead get better control of her powers so it never happens again

maybe they are in this odd middle space that is being in a camp (seeing all those horrible things and all agreeing not to talk about it hoping those memories will go away) as well as seeing the outside world and discovering it's not much better. Like even just at the league avoided them because they were freaks and also because they were broken/depressed/bummers from camp; like I'm sorry, YOU try going through years of torture, not trusting, not talking, not being able to sleeping safely, not touch anyone and see how YOU turn out! YA Not very cuddly huh?!!

Ruby telling him things like “you are incredible” or “you’re the best” like she did with Zu and him at Walmart and the ranch. He will blush like crazy because you know she means it \

(side not but her doing this with the haven kids because their bio parents never said it to them AHH)

Days where Ruby needs to drag Nico away from the computer and just chill are a must. Probably a beach or a park or ice skating and just know that the other is with them and that everything is going to be okay. It also gives them some closure to know that the world CAN be calm, they just need to know where to look, and sometimes that's in each other.

(I’ll do a part two of them just being pals that's less depressing but i love their duo and I've never heard anyone talk about Nico like.., ever)

[thephantomporg84]

Sorry for coming to you with a rant but I just found out about porg after returning to the fandom and she makes my skin crawl. As a DMC fan and specifically someone that's fond of Dante, I notice that she's in some ways completely bastardizing the games.

From completely disregarding characterization to wild and even baseless assumptions while using slurs, I feel that no fix it fic for anything would change her mind because she wants a reason to hate DMC5. Do I like Vergil's characterization? Not completely. Do I like Dante's all the time? No. But I dont go off targeting people calling them slurs and trying to incite them to target me with racism (I'm a black fan of DMC). Hell, if anything; I do my own personal fics because I have trouble finding things for me. She has no excuse to be this way, considering that mental illness or not, it doesnt give you a right to do half of what she's done.

Vergil is a problematic character who should not be seen as infallible but to straight up go as far as she has just disgusts me. He isnt meant to be seen a good person because DMC5 and the material to go with it shows that the characters are imperfect. If she can stan Kylo Ren, who is FAR more problematic but can't stand to see people who like Vergil, maybe it's less about the plot or how they characterized him and it's more about how she feels that her love of "horror" and whatnot should hold more weight because she feels its dumb.

Vergil is a character where you have to observe him through the lens of what shaped and moulded him and understand that as a character, V was a glimpse into how Vergil really thinks and feels. Urizen is the side of him shaped in no small part by his time as Nelo Angelo, considering that Mundus raised the Qliphoth to also gain the power to rule over hell, as did more than likely Argosax. I can easily bet that both villains killed numerous humans for their goals.

Vergil as a character is a man who was horrifically traumatized as a child and never had help to get through it. He believed his family dead and that the only way to never feel the pain was to seek power, something he tried to do by challenging Mundus after the events of 3!

I'm sorry for the rant but I'm just half tempted to make an AO3 account just so I can make a dissertation on how Vergil as a character is a villain made from his circumstances and his lack of knowledge on how to properly function in a world where he feels that nothing and no one loved him because it hurts to see someone this loud and wrong over a character that while I like him, I'm no stan for.

Tl;Dr: Porg is a hypocrite and cant keep lore straight to save her life. Also I feel that she wouldn't be able to argue against my points for Vergil without devolving to calling me slurs.

She can have whatever dumbfuck opinion she wants on whatever she wants — no one listens to her, so honestly who gives an actual fuck about it. It’s just about getting attention for her, anyway lol. Like. None of this matters to her other than she likes being angry/feeling incensed and she likes the attention she obvs doesn’t get irl. And it ain’t about DMC5 — hasn’t been in ages. You’re literally doing exactly what she wants if you go argue with her.

Like. Why in the world do you think she’d come on to my main account, in front of a potential audience thousands of people, claiming she’d found a post about an entirely different video game when she was allegedly just searching the tags of a completely unrelated TV show and stumbled upon it... only to then get assmad and play victim because it backfired/she got made fun of/IP banned? Attention.

[ask-me-about-my-mh-au]

Jay’s Theory

Jay and Tim sit outside a convivence story drinking shitty dollar slushies when Jay asks Tim "do you think if Alex kills me ill actually die".

Tim almost chokes on his drink "What the fuck jay. Where the hell is this coming from".

Tim looks over at Jay and can tell he is purposefully avoiding eye contact, clearing regretting saying anything. Jay sighs knowing its too late to back out before continuing "I've just been thinking like by all accounts I should be dead. Alex choking me, how many times I've been attacked in the middles of nowhere, and lets be real neither of us have been taking care of ourselves but I was way worse off before, by all accounts that alone should of left me hospitalized after my body finally gave out but..." Jay was silent for a bit and Tim was about to say something, anything to fill the silence, but before he could Jay continued. "but what if that thing wants us alive"

"Then why is Alex trying kill us in the first place", Tim asked. He wanted to think that what Jay was saying was impossible but part of him knew jay had a point.

"entertainment" Jay bluntly answered, "I believe in the long run its just fucking with us for no real reason. The closest thing to an actually reason for it doing this to us is because its bored. That's why it wont let us die. We die the entertainment ends. Seriously think about it all of us should be dead and you've been around it the longest hasn't there once been a time were you lived through something that you feel you shouldn't have". Tim tried not to think back to the hospital fire "and what about all the stuff we cant remember. There are god knows how many hours unaccounted for the both of us and who knows what could of happened in that span of time"

"okay, what about Brian or Amy or Seth and Sarah, then" Tim asked. He want Jay to stop talking but needed answers more.

"I don't know. Maybe they weren't entertaining enough or weren't really a main part of this shit show its running us through. Maybe they aren't even dead, we have no clue who that hooded fucker is and its not like it cant manipulate our minds" Jay let out a quite laugh "maybe, just maybe their all okay and we have been chasing nothing, we are doing this for fucking nothing", Jay looked about ready to scream or cry.

maybe both. 

probably both. 

Tim just stared at Jay for a minute the slushies melted and forgotten in his hand. If anyone else heard this conversation they would think they were raving lunatics. That person would probably be right. After a minute of staring at the ground wanting desperately to light a cigarette but know it wouldn't be appropriate he finally asked something he was scared to know "And what happens when if finally gets bored of us".

That's when Jay finally looked at Tim for the first time since he started this conversation "I don't know and I don't know what scares me more what it will do if it finally gets bored of me or what it will do if it wants a longer show. I don't want to be its fucking puppet but I don't want to be just thrown away when its all over"

It was silent after that, they threw away their cups and headed out to the car. Before getting in Tim looked at Jay and asked one final question "What do we do then".

Jay didn't respond for a long time,  what could he say, he didn't know what the answer was, or if their was even an answer at all. "I guess be glad that thing its a better director than Alex". they both gave a forced laugh at that before getting into the car. Jay never brought it up again but the though haunted both of them.

******************

Tim thought back on this conversation in his house. its wasn't safe there he knew that.

 It wasn't safe anywhere.

 Who knew the world being a stage could have such dark connotations. 

 Jay’s gone.

Brian’s gone.

 Maybe jays theory was wrong after all or maybe jays theory was right and he finally stopped being entertaining.

Tim waited for Alex 

 Alex waited for Tim 

The "stars" of the show in a stand still a part of Tim knew this going to be the end he didn't know how it would end but its was going to end one way or another. 

And as Tim watched his house burn be decided that if It want a show he would give it a fucking show.

********************

It watched.

 It always watched. 

 The ending was disappointing.

 It could bring them back and start over.

 but the remaining one wasn't hitting his marks.

 He was quite a problem.

 That's okay there was still the other one. 

 She would be interesting.

She had been before.

 It shouldn't of let her leave.

 It could start another show.

 It did keep Its favorite puppet after all.

[normalbirb]

Other ocs??? May I see???

I have 4 main oc’s. Im gonna try to keep this as short as possible, i can go on about my characters for hours. Just ask my friends. 

First off my hero universe.

Yall’ve seen Anthony, my corrupt superhero, and even tho im writing the backstory rn ill give you some short facts. Anthony’s super power is a black oil like sludge substance thingey he can control (the thing behind him in the pic), and bcs he never told anyone about his power (he resented it for a long time) it gave him the chance to use it as a “villain” he fights against. The public knows that villain as OIL. He puts people in danger to then save them. There are ofc people who have seen through this, but the problem is that he is loved by the world. No one would believe a secretary or a criminal. 

The other guy next to him is Alvar. A fish-human mutant (coelacanth bcs they’re my fave fish). A really sweet guy who got fucked by the system. A gang leader who just wanna help people get out of harmful gangs, maybe even get back to society if they arent wanted by the police yet. And those who cant, he allows into his gang to be protected against people who want them dead. Anthony is using Alvar for his own benefit ofc, Alvar signed a contract that as long as he does whatever Anthony asks for he will make sure Alvar’s gang stays safe both from the police and other gangs. 

Alvar is very much against what Anthony is doing, but he cant do anything about it. His first priority is his gang. 

Next two exists in another story, in another universe. My jackdaw Jacky (ya im creative) and belted kingfisher Milo (designs bellow are old but only pic I had with them both). Everyone is bird people in that universe bcs i really love birds. 

Milo is very soft. Very insecure. Usually places others before him, even when they dont deserve it.  In this universe its a tradition for the oldest child to take the place as the head of the family, getting married and ya know those type of old traditions. Between Milo and his twin brother Lorence, Milo was born first. Problem is, Milo is very much gay and in the closet. Milos father owns a fishing company, which is meant for Milo to inherit once he gets married. 

Jacky is confident. He isnt mean, but he doesnt let people walk over him. He is the only child and even tho his family arent as strict with the whole “head of the family” thinegy, Jacky still takes that role very seriously. His family works as tax accountants or with similar positions.  

Their story is basically an angsty and cheesy love story, I need some cute stuff too, not only just suffering and pain from Anthony’s universe.

[latulasbian-1]

A Kankriversation Had On Discord

Long post beneath the cut bc its just. straight up like a half hour’s worth of back-and-fourth 

Friend: OH GOD OH GOD REV GOT TO MEENAHQUEST Friend: OH GOD HES MET KANKRI I GOTTA Friend: I GOTTA SEE Friend: "why the fuck is he written like this?" Friend: "i feel like this entire section is a jab at tumblr" Friend: rev does not seem to enjoy this Friend: "what i was expecting was just a raging asshole, like karkat 2 yaknow?" Friend: REV DOES NOT HATE KANKRI *confetti ball emojis*

Friend: people are taking away from kankri's character "kankri acts like a good person but is an asshole, and karkat acts like an asshole but is a good person" and they are wrong. Friend: I Friend: REV JUST COMPARED HIM TO ZEBRUH Friend: I AM Friend: -dies- Friend: HOW Friend: I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY BUT ALSO HOLY SHIT Friend: ok i cant watch longer i am dying Friend: it doesnt help that hes reading this section with a homestuch fan who seemingly hates kankri

Friend: i just need to give up and accept the fact that everyone hates kankri Friend: and i am the only smart person in the whole world :cry emoji (zan’s note: to indicated both light emotional melancholy but primarily as a tone indicator of semi-sarcasm): Friend: erugvwilarghvaleb Friend: no wonder i like zebruh (ZAN’S NOTE: MY BUDDY HERE LIKES ZEBRUH AS A FUNNY ASSHOLE DOUCHEBAG WHO SUCKS NOT LIKE. IN A WAY THAT CONDONES HIS BULLSHIT JUST FELT LIKE I SHOULD MENTION THAT. UNLIKE FOR INSTANCE LANQUE, WHO DOESN’T NECESSARILY FEEL LIKE HES MEANT TO BE THE WORST LIVING BEING IN EXISTANCE AND IS ALSO TRANSMASC WHILE BEING A FUCKING SEX FREAK. ZEBRUH’S MEANT TO BE HATED SO ITS AT LEAST FUCKING FUNNY.)

Friend 2 (hasn't actually read homestuck): I like Kankri

Friend: me :handshake: you & the 3 other people who read this channel smart as fuck and our meat is huge wrfralrv,juaBVRE DGS

Me (Zan): hhhhhhhhhhh Me: WHY DO PEOPLE CONSTANTLY INTERPRET KANKRI LIKE THIS Me: ITS. FUCKING. NONSENSE

Friend: I think people assume hes supposed to be like?? lying??? or using big words to try and make people like him more/?? Friend: but thats. never actually in the text? Friend: like yeah he constantly says "in this essay-i mean conversation" or "during this lecture-i mean discussion" but???? Friend: that does not a liar make??????????????

Me: its literally just. gahhhh Me: noone fucking r Me: theres no REASON to think hes lying

Me: except. that sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better (Zan’s note: this is sarcasm meant as a dig at people falling for the stonetoss-tier anti-social justice strawmanning that kankri gets. I do not think sjws are all just bigots who lie to make themselves look better.)

Friend: people just really dont wanna be confronted with the fact that if u think racism bad andrew hussie thinks youre a pussy ass bitch everyone hates

Me: YEAH Me: WHICH??? Me: THESE PEOPLE, LIKE EVERYONE, KNOWS THAT HUSSIE SUCKS AND HATES HIM

Friend: so they pretend kankri is actually some really genuinely good criticism guys i swear he-hes not just a mean caricture of a tumblr user who writes essays on why racism is bad i swear he-hes like, a criticism of men who co-opt actual arguments to get people to wanna fuck him ignore the part where kankri is celibate guys i swear hes a horny racist douche please believe me guys andrew hussie wouldnt hate me in real life hed love me i swear

Me: BUT THEY JUST FUCKING. REFUSE TO REALIZE THAT TINY PIECE OF LOGIC THAT “OH ALMOST EVERYRHING THAT KANKRI SAYS IS RIGHT AND HUSSIE IS A DOUCHECANOE”

Me: YEAH ITS SO FUCKING WIERD

Friend: i feel like another part of it is kankri criticcizing mituna

Me: WHICH

Friend: like "oh haha kankri is abelist u see thats PROOF thats PROOF hes a racist abelist douch just lying for attention you SEE" a

Me: IN UNIVERSE Me: IS BAD

Friend: and mituna is like

Me: BUT Me: ITS MADE FUVKING MOOT

Friend: mituna.

Me: BC MITUNA LITERALLY IS AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE Me: HUSSIE LITERALLY WROTE AN ABLEIST STEREOTYPE AND EVERYONE TRIES TO SAY THE ONE CHARACTER WHO RECOGNIZES THAT TO BE THE REAL ABLEIST I

Friend: mituna "autistic/brain damaged/tourettes stereotype who's main joke is he falls down a lot and is mentally ill ahaha"

Me: *just an ocean of angry emojis*

Friend: is it because hes nice to cronus??? like?????? Friend: in that case everyone should HATE meenah Friend: for.... ALSO BEING NICE TO CRONUS??????????/ Friend: LIKE????????????

Me: oho but you see Me: meenah is un-pc murderous genocidal and a childfucker, so she only gets a little bit of the hate kankri “said ableism is ableist and never stops trying to get his friends to be better people despite everything” vantas gets

Friend: GRAAAAAA Friend: WHY ARE HOMESTUCK FANS SO FUCKING STUPID

Me: in this instance i have 0 fucking clue Me: like. its fucking OBVIOUS

Friend 3 (hasn’t read homestuck): It's the ableism

Me: except.... most of these people dont even like mituna........ Me: like as “rep”.... Me: these are people who’d call out ableism literally everywhere else.... its. gahh Me: i stg i’m going to become a video essayist just to try to EXPLAIN this shit

Friend: IM SORRY TO SAY THIS HOMESTUCK FANDOM, BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR WHO WERE WRITTING ESSAYS ON WHY ABELISM AND RACISM IN MEDIA WAS BAD Friend: WERE RIGHT Friend: AND IF YOU DIDNT LIKE THEM FOR THEIR BIG WORDS Friend: YOU SUCKED Friend: zebruh is like a fucked up and evil version of kankri where instead of caring about politics and people's mental health he just acts like he cares about lower caste trolls to try and get laid, and in actually his is a racist mean and clingy rich bastard who cant stand being held accountable for his fake beliefs Friend: OH WAIT Friend: THATS JUST FUCKING CRONUS Friend: this is all your fault u bastard. i dont know how the fuck you got away with this shit i hate you so much  

Me: fdg;hljk Me: ben i'm wondering if i can transcribe our duotribe to tumblr

[zarchomp]

Bojack Horseman is my favourite show ever, and the more I analyze it, the more I continue to think it is the best show ever made.

I first watched it at a point in my life when I was at the lowest point I'd ever been in. I never felt good, and I felt like I'd never ever be okay. I'd been going to therapy for about 3-4 years at that point, but everything about my life felt completely negative and bad, like I could never be good. I started watching Bojack after finishing some other cartoons like futurama and Rick and Morty. And I genuinely felt like it was a show made for me specifically.

Without even going into any of the themes present in the show, it is beautifully constructed. It is completely consistent with itself, and never leaves any loose threads. Even when you think it will, it doesn't. The storytelling techniques are incredible and ever changing. Fish Out of Water and Free Churro are great examples of how the show can shine beautifully in completely different ways, one being completely without dialogue, and the other as a monologue, taking place in one location. But really, pretty much any episode could be taken and used as an example of how to build an amazing episode of television.

The animation, writing, acting, and sound design is incredible. Obviosuly, one of the worst self sabotaging things Bojack ever did was in New Mexico. The build up to that point, though showing his self sabotaging behaviour in the past makes this scene so believable. Despite pretty much the entire New Mexico storyline being in one 20 minute episode, the guitar sting which represent it are still absolutely haunting, years after I first watched the episode. The impact of this storyline, or Sarah Lynn's significance in Bojack's life shows how amazing the writing is on the show.

Not only is it a beautiful show, but it's also really funny. The jokes and timing are fantastic, and the ability of the show to balance genuine good comedy with some of the most tragic scenes I've seen in my entire life shows the versatility of each and every creative involved.

In terms of the themes of the show, I cant properly express how fantastic they are. It is often talked about how great the representation of mental illness is, but it goes a lot farther than that. Bojack is a bad person. He has ruined lives, both before the show and during. His behaviour is completely terrible. The show doesn't try and tell you he's a good person, deep down, but there are so many moments throughout the show where he is truthful and honest with himself, and you see his goodness shine through. The show itself tells you not to root for Bojack, but rather watch him grow. His journey is a slow, drawn out one. Throughout the series, he slowly progresses from being in denial about the fact that he's messed up, to finally be willing to actually change and take accountability for his actions, though this never ever makes him seem like a good person, but instead you see how bad he can actually be. Bojack Horseman shows the affect mental illness and addiction can have on you and the people you care about.

It also shows lots of different representations of mental illness and life. While Bojack is the main character, he isn't always the most important person in the show. Princess Carolyn, Diane, Mr Peanutbutter, and Todd are all treated in the show with as much respect as Bojack, and their storylines are strong independently of their intersection with Bojack's, which feels very true to real life, where everyone is doing their own thing. The struggles of all the main cast are important, whether mentally, emotionally, professionally, or otherwise. In a lot of ways, these characters demonstrate the realities of just being a person who exists in this world, and that's pretty cool.

In the end though, the show is about growth, plain and simple. It's not overcomplicated, but it shows the complexity of acceptance. The show's main principles are simple; being a good person is harder than it looks, but more important than anything else, and sometimes you need help getting there. The show examines this through so many different lenses, and the intricacies of all the different ways in which Bojack addresses this main issue are endless. Bojack Horseman doesn't over burden itself with too many pointless ideas or threads, but rather it focuses on something important and sees it through.

Like I said, part of me actually believes that Bojack Horseman was a show made for me specifically, because I think it's perfect. I'm incredible excited for the end of it. I generally don't trust creators to give me what I want, but at this point I don't even know what I want. That being said, I'm sure whatever it is will be made, as it always has so far. And I will be heartbroken if it doesn't. That's not the point though. I wholeheartedly believe that Bojack Horseman is a perfect show. It means the world to me.

[juminsmysticmc]

Could I request reactions of when (mc and rfa+v dating) mc find out she has an terminal illness and ask them to break up without tell them,she wants them to hate her so they do not grieve too much,so when they know mc already died, angst if you cant its ok ilike your imagination♡0♡

RFA + V with a Mc who finds out that she will die soon and makes them hate her to not make them suffer for her

Huhhhh why do you need to make me cry this much! I hope you like my angst, really…please tell me because I personally think that this is one of my best Hc and for the first time I’m really really really proud of myself! Have fun and don’t cry! 

Ps. I watched the Kdrama ,,Uncontrollably Fond’’ where the main lead (Kim Woo Bin) is ill, like Mc in this request and tries to find his old love just to see how much she changed but still loves her. And so the female lead (Suzy) and him go through a lot of hardships since she doesn’t know about his illness at first. I really liked the Drama, it was filled with emotions and secrets! And then after the Drama I found out that Kim Woo Bin was really sick after the Drama, luckily he overcame the illness, I’m soo happy! I first knew him from ,,the Heirs’’ and I didn’t really like him ( Lee MinHo forever haha) but now, ahh I like him! Are there any Kim Woo Bin fans? Now, enough talking, go and read the Headcanon for real! 

ATTENTION! This headcanon can trigger! Don’t read if you can’t handle the mention of: Self harm, death, illness, suicide

Jumin 

,,You must have seen wrong, Doctor.“ you snapped as the doctor told you about the illness you had. 

You were so young, barely 30 and now he told you that you were going to die? 

,,How long?“ you asked him. 

It wasn’t a long time anymore, you knew. 

The doctor told you to please go to the hospital to get treatment. 

Without any help, you would live about three months. 

You however took your purse and glared at him. 

,,If you dare to tell my husband, I will sue you and destroy you.“ you snapped with a trembling voice. 

It wasn’t like you to be like that. Perhaps the fear deep in your heart made you tell him these things. 

You walked out of the room and walked to the parking lot. 

With a click you turned on the radio and began to sob loudly. 

What should you tell him now? 

Should you even tell him? 

And then, you made up your mind. 

Once at home you had time for one hour. 

You decided to make a video for Jumin. 

In there you told him the reason for your lie. 

,,I‘m home!“ Jumin called as he opened the door. 

You smiled at him and hugged him. 

Our last hug….you thought. 

As you kissed him, you thought about your last kiss and when you smiled at him, you thought about the last time you could see his beautiful eyes shining at the view of you. 

You knew you were selfish but you thought it was for his best. 

For the next months the two of you went on trips and every time you went away, you met a former friend. 

You tried to make him jealous and angry. 

You didn’t only make up relationships, but you also tried to discuss with him about everything. 

Deep in your heart it was painful for you too. 

But for him you wanted to be in pain even in your afterlife. 

The third month finally arrived. Jumin still tried to hold into you but he wasn’t as happy as before anymore. 

,,You’re a big cold hearted ass, Jumin Han! Everything I cared about was your money! You know what? I want to have a divorce. Finally get rid of you!“ you yelled and rushed out. 

Jumin Han stayed behind and finally cried after a long long time. 

He didn’t know that you were in pain, ill and worried about him. 

He didn’t know that you hated yourself, that you didn’t mean it, that you didn’t want it. 

He didn’t know that you tried to protect him. 

Three months later Jumin tried to call you for the last sentence for the divorce. 

His anger against you was making him grow colder than he was in the past. 

,,Yes?“ a man responded your phone with a trembling voice. 

Jumin‘s jealously grew once again. 

,,Who are you, Sir? I wanted to talk to Mc.“ he said. 

,,I‘m-no, we need to meet up. I guess you’re her ex-husband, right? I have something for you.“ the man mumbled and told Jumin a place and time. 

Not long after the two of them met, Jumin Han was a totally different man. 

To get to know your cousin and to get to know the news that you died crushed his heart. 

The video he gave him, scared him. 

Even more did the sight of your crying face. 

,,Hello Jumin. If you’re now watching this video it must mean that I‘m dead….haha. How weird to say this. Today I got told that I‘m ill. Deadly ill. I decided to protect your heart and make you hate me. I hope I didn’t fail and that today, you won’t love me as you loved me in the past….I hope that today you’re not in pain without me by your side…Just know that I love you, loved you and will love you forever. Please forgive me. I did everything for you…believe me….“ 

Jumin Han couldn’t bear it anymore. 

He watched the video about three times until he finally decided to sue the doctor. 

Afterwards he spend all his money and strength in donations for ill people who were diagnosed with a deadly illness. 

And of course he spend his money on wine, a lot of wine. 

Three bottles a day in front of the television with your last video, a picture of you and your good smelling pajamas. 

Without you this man was broken. 

,,Mc….rather than spending these days in hate I would have loved it to spend good days with you….why did you make this decision…?“ he often asked you while he was crying his eyes out. 

Zen 

,,Ahhhhh so exciting!“ you giggled to yourself as you patted your flat belly. 

Since days you were feeling dizzy and had to vomit. 

You were sure of it, you were pregnant. 

You still didn’t know that you were wrong. 

You didn’t know that soon you would be confronted with awful news. 

The shock almost made you throw up. 

This time however you weren’t happy at your body’s reaction. 

You were scared, angry and helpless. 

,,But…are you sure that I will die?“ you asked your doctor as tears slowly slipped down your cheeks. 

,,Yes, I‘m sorry to tell you about your illness. We can however decelerate this. We need to send you to the-“ 

,,Sorry. But, will it help me? I will still die. I would rather die now than make my loved ones live with me in pain. Please don’t tell it anybody. My family can’t know about it.“ you begged. 

Without an explanation you left the room and walked back home. 

The happiness you had earlier disappeared. 

Everything but this, you begged and quickly your legs gave up as you began to cry. 

,,No no no no no no no no no please please please please please no!“ you begged. 

And now? You knew you couldn’t destroy the love of your life, if Zen would know about this he would be as dead as you….

That’s when you got the idea to just break up with him. 

You entered your shared home and waited for Zen. 

You deeply hoped that your plan would work out and that today would be the last day of your life together with Zen. 

Because you just couldn’t bear to lie at him. 

,,Hi princess, how was your day?“ 

,,Hi Zenny~ I saw such a beautiful young man~ why don’t you cut your hair? They are ruined. I think we should change job. We would be such good teachers for example ~!“ 

,,Mc, are you kidding me?“ he asked you and you noticed that his mood was getting bad. 

,,I just wanted to change you~ but I guess I failed. Just let’s break up…I didn’t imagine my life like this.“ you told him with an evil smile. 

Zen stayed open mouthed and looked at you. 

What did you mean? 

But he couldn’t react quickly enough, you already stamped out and left the apartment. 

Since then the two of you didn’t speak anymore. 

Instead you posted disgusting emojis below his posts to make him hate you even more. 

,,Mc…why didn’t you tell him…?“ your sister asked you with tears in her eyes. 

,,Do you really want to die without the man you love?“ she asked you as she held your hand. 

Finally your time came. 

 You were thin, you couldn’t even move a muscle anymore. 

,,Take…..the letter….in my purse….if Zen would get to know the truth….give him the letter…..“ you tried to tell her. 

She nodded and asked you to please stay awake as she took the letter. 

But you couldn’t stand it anymore. 

Your thoughts were filled with Zen and your eyes searched for him. 

In the last seconds of your life you stayed alone. 

All your wrongdoings came back to your mind and as you breathed your last breath, you said his name ,,Zen“. 

Three years passed, Zen tried to check several times your social media accounts but it was no use, as is if you had disappeared. 

Your family also behaved odd that’s how he came to know that you died. 

He was shocked as he read your sisters post and so the next day he met her. 

,,To be honest I did this on purpose, Hyun. She didn’t want you to know but…..well. Here, a letter from her. I should give it you if you would come to know about her death.“ you sister mumbled while crying. She got up, hugged him, apologized a last time and went away, leaving the young white haired man on his own. 

As Zen read the letter, a lot of things came to make sense. 

Zen read the letter a lot of times until he decided to follow you. 

His dream was to let you know how stupid your decision was and how much he still loved you. 

And so Zen died only four years later after your death day, thinking about you 

,,I want you to live, who are you kidding, Mc….I want to live with you…“ 

Yoosung 

,,RIKA RIKA RIKA RIKA! I‘m fucking annoyed! You only talk about Rika and LOLOL, Yoosung! Grow up, IDIOT! I will just go to the man who approached me yesterday. I‘m fucking finished!“ you yelled at the blond man who was tearing up. 

He didn’t even have the strength to ran after you, to stop you or beg you for forgiveness. 

As soon as you packed your things and left the house, you began to cry. 

The cold rain pounded on you as the tears rolled down your cheeks. 

The coldness outside was almost warm, compared to the loneliness in your heart which made you shiver. 

You were indeed a bad woman, you lied and crushed him without blinking, you thought. 

,,Illness…to hell!“ you snapped and got up and like a strong woman you entered the hospital to get hospitalized. 

,,Oh, Mrs Kim! Who are you writing again?“ the Nurse asked you as she handled you over the pictures you asked her to print. 

,,My husband!“ you said with a big smile as you looked at the pictures. 

Hair and chest were missing but you were sure, that everything would get better soon. 

,,Oh, he‘s in the abroad?“ she asked you. 

When you however told her that he didn’t know, her face froze. 

It didn’t take long and your situation got even worser. 

At some point the nurse begged you to call Yoosung but you never lost hope. 

Until one morning you died, alone in the white hospital room. 

,,Who’s that?!“ Yoosung snapped as he threw his head phones on the floor. 

How long has it been after you left him? 

After he lost your whereabouts? 

When he opened the door his hopes of seeing you got crushed. 

The nurse who was caring for you, was at his door and handled him the letters ,,She fought until her last breath. She was a wonderful woman who mistook one decision. I‘m sorry for your loss.“ she told him and left. 

Yoosung read the letters and looked at all the pictures you sent him. 

His tears didn’t stop and soaked your last letters. 

,,Dear Yoosung, you’re reading this letters while I‘m probably in front of you! We did it, Yoosung! We finally fought, I‘m healthy and alive, Rika‘s faith spared us. 

I deeply hope that you will forgive me, Yoosung because I really did my best in order to spare you from these hard moments. I love you.“ 

Yoosung didn‘t know what to do, the young man cursed you and everyone. 

He began to toss all kind of objects around him. 

Because this lost was a hard one, a loss which would leave his heart empty forever. 

Jaehee 

You watched your beautiful girlfriend as she served a guest with a big smile. 

You loved her just so much, you wanted to protect her with all your strength. 

That’s why you had to do what you planned in your little head. 

,,Jaehee.“ you called her after everyone left. 

,,Yes?“ she responded and turned her head to you, her beautiful long hair danced as she looked at you. 

Her beauty made it even harder for you to break up. 

,,I….I decided to move out. This shop…it’s a big burden for me. I hate it here.“ you told her. 

,,I would like to break up with you.“ you said. 

She didn’t even have time to respond as you began to throw away the cake you prepared for the next day. 

,,I HATE IT HERE!“ you screamed and began to sob. 

You didn’t want to do it like that, but the fear of your soon death scared you. 

Even more the thought about the fact that you will die while she would hate you. 

You left the shop sobbing and left Jaehee behind. 

You didn’t hear from her for a long long time. 

She never called you and so did you. 

The only one who knew the real issue was Jumin who was also by your side while you faced the hardship. 

Well, to be honest deep in your heart you wanted him to carry your secret as a payback for Jaehee‘s hardships but in the end it turned out that you just wanted someone by your side. 

,,How is she…?“ you mumbled after he let you slip a bit of water. 

,,Together with Yoosung she‘s working again for me. She cut her hair and closed the shop.“ Jumin said without showing any feelings. 

,,So my act will be in vain?“ you asked him. 

,,Sometimes it’s just better to say something personally. People think they can protect each other like that, but that’s not true. In the end they just get hurt deeply.“ 

,,You speak as if you’re not human, Mr Han.“ you teased him and had to cough. 

,,Mc, I said several times that I would pay for the hospital fees why didn’t you get hospitalized?“ he asked you. 

,,You did more than I actually wanted you to do….“ you told him. 

The next day Jumin came, he found two letters on your table. Unfortunately you fell asleep forever after writing them. 

A lonely sleep. 

,,Dear Jumin. 

Thank you for everything you did. Please give this letter to Jaehee. I want to see her a last time. And in order to make her come I wrote the letter. I decided to write you a letter too because it seemed more prettier. And besides I was so sleepy and wanted you to let her know right away. Would you do me this last please? If I‘m asleep, please wake me up~“ the letter said. 

Jumin Han shed a tear. You couldn’t see it or hear his sobbing sounds, but he cried for you. 

,,Mc had a reason.“ he told Jaehee when he came back. 

,,Mr Han I appreciate it that you want us to make up but-“ 

,,This wasn‘t my intention, Assistant Kang. I wanted her to rest in peace and you…to live without any regrets. Please read the letter and go to give her your goodbyes.“ Jumin told her. 

Jaehee softly opened the letter and read every word. 

Tears slipped down her face as she read your begs. 

To please come to visit her, let you see her beautiful eyes, smell her long hair and listen to her beautiful voice as she talked about the shop. 

For several days Jaehee couldn’t get a hold of her life. 

As she looked at the shop from the outside, she noticed that everything seemed lonely, cold and dark but when Jaehee remembered your letter, her life began to bloom once again. 

,,Please go on with your dream. Our dream, I will always support you.“ your last sentence said. 

Saeyoung 

,,I’m off!’’ you said and left through the door to go to the hospital. 

Since a few days you were feeling odd, you had headaches and felt sick, you also lost a lot of hair and your vision kept getting bad. 

You decided to go to the medical. 

Saeyoung knew but had no time to go with you. 

But your soon to be husband promised you that he would check your condition through the doctors files. 

Although you often begged him to stop hacking. 

Well, you could never be sure and that’s why today you had two assignments. 

Saeyoung although knew only about one, the fake one. 

You first went to the fake appointment, you needed new birth control pills, that’s why everything went by pretty quickly, the next one was the real appointment. 

Saeyoung didn’t know about this one, and it was good so. 

Because the awful truth you came to know would stay your secret forever. 

You looked at your tests as you realized that you were really dying. 

,,What did you say, doctor? I….I won’t live more than four months…?’’ you asked him again as tears filled your brown eyes. 

The doctor nodded. 

,,No, Sir, you must have done a mistake, there’s….it’s impossible!’’ you began to sob and cried. 

,,No, I’m sorry to tell you that the test is right. But if you like, I could make another appointment for you with another doctor.’’ he told you. 

,,No, no…thank you…’’ you mumbled. 

Deep in your mind you already knew that you were dying, deep in your heart you could already feel the sadness and loneliness. 

Your pale body would soon lay into the tight coffin, darkness would surround you below the ground, coldness will accompany you forever. 

You were at the end of your nerves, you were scared. 

What would you tell him, the man of your life? 

After all he went through, you couldn’t tell him that you would join V. 

Your hands began to tremble as you thought about Saeran who still was in a critical situation, Saeyoung wouldn’t be able to survive this on his own, he wouldn’t! 

,,But fuck…he’s such a genius!’’ you sobbed harder as you began to chew on your nails. 

,,This is all because I kept eating unhealthy things, because I judged Rika, V is giving me his payback for everything what happened in the RFA!’’ you cried. 

That day you came home late, Saeyoung was pretty happy to see you but you felt sick at his smile.

He was so happy and your happiness would vanish soon. 

,,Crap!’’ you snapped to yourself and slapped your cheek at your ill minded thoughts. 

Saeyoung deserved happiness…why were you like that?!

After that moment you noticed that you needed to break up immediately.

,,Mc….why are you packing your stuff?’’ Saeyoung asked you. 

,,Saeyoung, you were right, you will hurt me…you are dangerous….you…you are so…difficult to live with! I…I feel like dying with you! I…can’t I’m sorry…this is all to much…please become happy without me and look after Saeran but please let me go, let me live happily!’’ you begged and slapped yourself in your thoughts. 

Why did you say that? Why would you hurt him like that? You knew that Saeyoung would get hurt by that, you knew perfectly that he would be unhappy but still, your thoughts kept hunting you. 

He could be happy, you not, so why not hurting him?

,,SHUT THE FUCK UP I HATE IT!’’ you screamed and threw everything on the ground. 

,,I HATE YOU!’’ you yelled even loader. 

,,YOU….YOU! IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU!’’ you panicked and began to cry harder, cold tears dripped on the floor while a few came to touch your lips. 

The salt taste of your tears made you notice your words. 

You wanted to apologize, beg him for forgiveness and help but all you said was a simply ,,I hate you.’’

With that you left him behind, Saeyoung saw his nightmare in front of him. 

He tried to chase you but you glared at him. 

,,I won’t give up….’’ he mumbled as he saw you leave. 

He didn’t give up on his brother either and now he was together with him again so why should he let you suffer alone?

He knew that something was wrong and that’s why he decided to leave you for a bit. 

But perhaps he left you alone for too long. 

Because five months later everything about you disappeared. 

Nothing was left and the fear that someone could have harmed you let him tremble even in his dreams. 

But he never expected to find out about your death. 

It was as if he was trapped in a never ending nightmare when he read your doctors files. 

Every file said ,,deceased’’. 

Was this true? 

Saeyoung visited every grave yard and asked everyone about you but he didn’t find you either. 

,,Maybe she…she found someone who could hack too?’’ Yoosung mumbled as the RFA were on their way to visit Jihyun’s grave. 

Saeran went with them but abruptly stopped his steps as he saw a face he didn’t see for a long time - yours. 

,,S….Saeyoung….’’ he mumbled. 

,,Huh…?’’ Saeyoung whispered as he followed his brothers eyes to your grave, next to the blue haired man’s one. 

,,Huh…?’’ he croaked. 

,,No….’’ he mumbled and fell on his knees. 

,,NO MC! MC! MC! I’M SORRY FOR MY JOKES, DON’T….DON’T BE LIKE THAT!’’ the red haired man screamed, making everyone notice your grave. 

,,NO NO NO NO NO NO!’’ he sobbed harder as his hands touched the cold ground, digging into the dirt to save you from down there. 

,,No no no no she’s afraid SHE’S AFRAID OF DARK PLACES!’’ he screamed louder and tried to burrow up your grave. 

Only Zen, Jumin and his brother were strong enough to hold him back. 

Saeyoung could only read the sentence on your grave before his mind went blank, before he lost his head. 

,,The space dust of me will whisper ,,I love you’’ into the infinity of the universe’’

None dared to say it but everyone knew that he would follow you, but none knew that he would follow you so soon….

Jihyun 

,,I love you….’’ he whispered as he stroked your hair. 

You kissed his cheek and closed your eyes. 

Until now you never knew that you were such a good actor, you never knew that you could deceive people so good. 

But right now you were doing it. 

The truth was that you were ill, you wouldn’t be able to live as long as you thought and wished for. 

You would have to leave your boyfriend soon. 

You could hear your boyfriend mumble in his dreams while you observed him. 

You wanted to break up with him, to let him hate you. 

But you already knew that he couldn’t hate you, he even loved Rika so deeply…. 

While you were watching your handsome boyfriend you were thinking about a way to make him hate you and with thoughts about this problem you fell asleep. 

The next morning Jihyun got woken up by a loud thud and screams. 

When he went to check on you were throwing around his paintings and pictures. 

The man you loved didn’t dare to move an inch as he saw you destroying everything. 

,,YOU!’’ you screamed when you saw him, faking anger was pretty hard for you, you loved him after all. 

But right now your thoughts were filled with your deadly illness. 

,,YOU DREAMED ABOUT HER, RIKA! YOU DREAMED ABOUT HER AND CALLED HER IN YOUR DREAMS! I HATE IT!’’ you screamed. 

Jihyun was perplexed, he was sure that he didn’t dream about Rika. 

,,Mc, please, don’t destroy them…you will hurt yourself…let us talk…’’ he begged you. 

He didn’t knew how to react to you, you never behaved like this. 

,,Don’t dare, I WON’T!’’ you screamed. 

,,If I become like her, will you love me then?’’ you asked him with a scary voice as you approached him and scratched his arm with a fragment of the broken frame. 

Jihyun immediately flinched and went a few steps back, his eyes were filled with surprise, he didn’t knew what to do. 

,,Ah….what a pity….your mother died for you, huh? Such a vain…now I get why your father is like that.’’ you snapped at him, hitting his feelings really deep. 

You hated yourself for your words as you saw his wet eyes. 

When would he finally find happiness? 

When would he meet a healthy woman filled with love and happiness? Was this man cursed? 

But before you could care more you left the room, trying to get away from him.

To leave him alone with his thoughts about your ugly actions. 

You seemed to have done a good job because a few days later everyone from the RFA tried to contact you except for Jihyun. 

But unfortunately they were way too late. 

You crushed your phone and kissed with red lipstick the letter for Jihyun before you took a few sleeping pills too much. 

Your eyes slowly closed as you thought about the man you were leaving. 

You wouldn’t allow the illness to destroy you, in his mind you wanted to stay the beautiful girlfriend although you already lost this status for a long time. 

,,What?’’ Jihyun sobbed as he heard the news of your death. 

,,Yes, I’m sorry.’’ Jumin mumbled and looked at his best friend’s hand who had a big scar left. 

He hated you for your act but also was grateful that you left him without any more scars. 

Although the tall, black haired man didn’t know that you already left a scar on his friend’s heart. 

And so the young man was surprised to see Jihyun dead in the bathtub. 

,,Live for me, huh?’’ Jumin mumbled as he read your letter of good bye for Jihyun. 

The young man slipped at his glass and gulped the red fluid as he observed the place on his right. 

So, the two women he liked the most hurt him once again and even took his best friend from him, huh? 

MASTERLIST 1MASTERLIST 2

29.04.’19// 22:37 MEST

Tagged:

@foreversunshine-love @giulia2372 @milkyxstrawberry

@widya345 @remiliadacalde @sailormoonrocks666 @r-f-a-journalists

[dragonairstim]

My phone will not for the life in its battery let me look at your faq on mobile, not even the faq for mobile link you sent someone at one point wants to work for me. Is there any way at all that I can get I a newer link (that i hope hope hope will work aaa) for mobile users? Sorry to bother but this is real annoyin!

here ill copy and paste for you

DNI

ddlg, cgl, cglre, abdl, kink, littlespace (including sfw)even if you claim to be “sfw” or not kink related you are using kink terms therefore associating yourself with the kink [this does not apply to system littles]

terfs, swerfs, truscum, transmed, radfem, gender critical, against neo/nounself pronouns, against nonbinary genders, biphobic, transphobic, transmisogynistic, lesbophobic,homophobic, dont believe in asexuality/aromantics

incest/pedo shippers (even for “coping") or “anti anti”, “fiction doesnt affect reality”, “ageing up” characters, map, nomap

thinspo, pro ana/mia/ed, etc (i am recovering from an eating disorder this is triggering for me!)

racist, fascist, nazi/neo nazi, pro trump, conservative, support the military/cops, blue lives matter, etc

your blog is “anyone can interact” or “anyone can interact just respect the banners”

you support any of these things

FAQ

if i post a problematic character/series please tell me! i dont know all of the sources people request. additionally, if i interact with a problematic person please tell me! i dont know everything about everyone in the stim community

why cant kidhearts interact?

because i said so

can i request multiple things/multiple times

yes, i dont care at all but please send them in seperate asks and dont spam

i dont know if youve done [request] but..

search if ive filled the request before you send it in! this is something that actually annoys me, please dont do this.

can inclusionsts/exclusionsts interact? [someone] is an aphobe!!!

this blog is ace discourse neutral. if you dont want me using your gifs because i allow either interaction i understand just shoot me a polite message

can you tag [thing]

no, im very forgetful and i dont want to say ill do something and forget and trigger someone thinking that my blog was safe

something about my sources not being in order

im lazy

can i request kins?

yes

can i request ships?

yes, as long as they arent of underage characters or otherwise bad (ie an abuser, a rapist, age gaps, etc)

can i request [thing im not in to]

yes; make sure you name the source material

can i request an oc or a pet?

yes; submit a picture of them and give me details about likes/colors

can you promo me?

i dont do promos, sorry! good luck though

——————————————————–

BEFORE REQUESTING

search if your request has been filled already (https://dragonairstim.tumblr.com/search/keyword/)

dont send requests through the submit or fanmail, only send them through ask

including details about what stims you like and dont like is helpful but not obligatory

if you dont know if your requests has been eaten here is a list of requests currently in the inbox/queue https://dragonairstim.tumblr.com/requests

——————————————————–

NO LIST

(there are more not here this is a general list)

blood, gore, body horror, needles, zombies

trypophobia inducing things/lots of poking

fursuits

real life people (youtubers, youtubers sonas/characters they play, famous people dead or alive) (requesting characters played by real actors is fine)

country/state flags

series or characters that romanticize things like rape, abuse, incest, age gaps, etc

i have the right to deny any requests i dont want to do even if not specified here

——————————————————–

ABOUT

dako, 21, fae/faers or he/him

aromantic nonbinary lesbian

other blogs i mod @ufco (mod comrade nova); @nova-stims (original gifs); @nova–stims (reblogged gifs); @nebulousstimming (my systems stim blog); @hellokittystim; @87170528 (pride flag edits and also the main blog of this account)

dragonairstim birthday june 28 2017

banners!

[kaytymfknelise-blog]

I have no idea what I am doing

So, i had this bright idea to make a blog. I guess the idea behind this is to just let people know there is hope, even though life is hard, and fast, and confusing af.  So, I guess today I’m just gonna spew off who i am and how i got to this point.  So the first thing you should all know is that i am a lifestyle coach. My mission is to inspire people and help them get through the rough stuff, cause I’m like a pro at it.  Also, I am an addict in recovery.  I had a serious 5 year love affair with heroin.  They told me during my 4 months in rehab that 1. relapses happen and 2. Don’t expect anything to work out the way you think, don’t depend on ANYTHING but yourself.  Well, I was 25 then and i knew more then them, obviously! I wasn’t ready to grow.  I was ready to learn, but i was definitely in control of my life and knew all the right things.  (this is sarcasm, for those of you a bit confused) So I left rehab and killed the mother fucking game for 6 months.  Then I moved closer to my old stomping grounds, went to a bonfire and got mixed up with some old friends, and some new ones.  The night ended with me being to drunk to remember how I got home, or who my new boyfriend was.  That new boyfriend did coke, which I’d done when i was like in high school, but hadn’t touched it in years, I didn’t then either, but the seed was planted. After he dumped me and tried to hand me off to one of his friends, I felt like shit, so I asked for coke. Instead I found crack.  In 3 months I went from 100% sober to being the worst junkie i had ever been. My dealers hated me cause I was annoying as fuck, but they would benefit by the end, so fuck em’. My husband (now ex-husband) decided he would start selling crack! Brilliant idea when your wife is a crack fiend.  Then this dude left me in charge of his night sales, cause I obviously didn’t sleep. Well I smoked all the crack - can you believe it?  We were broke, I was a terrible human, I had lost myself for the billionth time, but this time I had 6 months sober, so I knew this was possible.  Recovery is different for everyone, for me my environment is a huge factor, I have to completely relocate to maintain my sobriety. So after 5 years of my mom begging for me to come to Maine, I finally go. (worst. decision. ever. but we will get there!). So now i am a very recent ex stripper, covered in tattoos, with purple hair-in the most judgemental place I have ever been. Well to say I stood out would be a massive understatement. I mean the way spanish and black dudes look at white chicks with nice butts; that's how these conservative bible humpers looked at me. I had never seen anything like it, and i was a white girl with a nice butt in the hood, so Ive gotten looks! It didn’t take me long to get a job and get myself out there, I colored my hair black (boring), took out my piercings (lame), and stopped wearing high heels (why?). But I was a waitress, I was sober,making bank, had a beautiful family I was pretty happy.  4 years go by, I get yet another boyfriend (I’m way divorced by this point), who decides to punch my kitchen window out. Well, apparently in the state of Maine when you call the police because you feel unsafe, they take away your kids.  So, here I am  soberish (wine is a thing) with no kids, and no clue wtf just happened.  So, when your manic bipolar and your life is falling apart you do some crazy shit, have sex with everyone (my personal fave), spend all your money (I like this one too), Pick up and move your entire life within like 7 hours (this one is fun as well). So I found the biggest, baddest, “sexiest” dude I could.  He spent 20 years in prison, was a felon, no job, no car - ya know, a real winner.  Well this man, I don’t know what it was about him, but my god he has a knack for ruining fucking lives, or getting you to ruin your own is probably more accurate. Well, this asshole brings a bag of heroin IN MY FUCKING HOUSE and offers it to me.  So I’m the type of junkie that if i cant IV that shit, ill pass - that’s wasting.  Well when you have fake balls you have to shoot testosterone, how convenient. Now I’m banging dope after 4 YEARS sober *face palm*.  Well this dude and my best friend of 3 years fucked in my bed and left together, their still together tho, so there’s a positive?  Well, losing my best friend was fucking HARD; I mean that girl was my WHOLE LIFE, like I cant even explain the closeness I *thought* we had. So guess what I did? Heroin, that’s what. Did that shit 2 more times, then was like dude, wtf are you doing!? I stopped for awhile, but when the state took my kids, one went to her dad - so I had to go to CT to see her.  So I pull into Hartford, CT (this is my biggest trigger, i know exactly where to get everything I need, quickly. I avoid Hartford at all costs).  So, I pull in and my original plans fell through, so I called my friend to chill, but upon arrival that also fell through. Bad bad news.  So I go shoot up, and overdose. this being the THIRD time I ODd, and the worst biggest fuck up because my kid wasn’t far. Hate me all ya want, It was horrible and disgusting, I agree - but it happened. About 4/5 days before my overdose I joined this amazing group of ladies, all rocking their businesses, getting fit, and being GENUINELY happy.  When I saw this, I knew I wanted it.  When I overdosed, I knew I needed it. Fast forward to today, its been a month or so since that horrific day, I have a med card so besides bud I haven’t put anything substance like in my body.  I have lost 16 pounds, my energy levels are higher then ever, my mental state is definitely improved, anxiety is down, depression altered a bit, def still bipolar but managing fabulously, considering the circumstances.  I still cry, I carry guilt, I feel weird being in a home with no children, things are by no means perfect, but EVERYDAY, I wake up, I show up, and i implement practices and habits to make my life better and be my best self.  I surround myself with ladies that respect themselves, and other women.  I relocated from that shitty little judgmental town. I live in a place that's more “city” and I can tell you for the first time ever I am looking at the POSITIVES, and only that.  I refuse to let anything negative around me; it still hits, people still try, but I have learned to pull my energy away from that.  After 4 years sober, the sobriety doesn't scare me at all, It is how quickly you can go right back is something you denied so strongly, and fought so hard to end up at what feels like the beginning, but life will always teach you. So, I think I am writing this blog because I need to hold myself accountable, I need somewhere to be honest, and my life since about 16 has been anything but easy; I’m here to reassure you, you can do this, you can come out on the other end, all you have to do is show up! Today I am alive, and free, and I have a good life! xo.