#lifeonlifesterms

[richyturk]

SELF LOVE. Create a life worth living! Visit our website link in BIO‼️💥🙏💙🎨🖌️✍️🖼️✌️ …………………..:…………………………………#selflove #nxtlevelartpost #nxtlevelartquote #loveyourself #chaseyourdreams #dreamchasers #soberlife #soberaf #cleanlife#cleanandserene #cleanandsober #artforsale #treatyourselfwell #lifeonlifesterms #supportsmallbusiness #asrealastheycome #lifeworthliving #feelingmotivated #quoteoftheday #dailyinspiration #digitalart #digitalartist #graffiti #likeandshare (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnzx73iu8KC/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[ancomfultonsheen]

I can't stand the reality my alters make sometimes.

[ketorm4ever]

I fell....Into the Looking Glass https://ketorm4ever.wixsite.com/ketorm4ever/post/i-fell-into-the-looking-glass I fell...into the Looking Glass Please be atleast 18 years or older to click on the link. Contents is graphic. And potentially triggering to addicts. If your prepared for the raw truth about my story through addiction, please read. #partyboy #methusers #meth #recovery #addictionrecovery #methkills #hiv #aids @starttalkinghiv @viventhealth @american_heart #gaylifestyle #gay #pride #tellyourstory #truth #fightaddiction #na #aa #alcholicsanonymous #alchohal #drunk #suicideprevention #gaymen #lifeonlifesterms #blogaddict #addict #addiction (at Marshfield, Wisconsin) https://www.instagram.com/p/Co2IR44OKWX/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[in-due-time2020]

Rarely do you find someone willing to go that extra mile

[miss-mollie-tov]

Age is a funny old thing... I mean I don't feel old, you would take one look at me and wouldn't reconcile that I have a child, let alone one that is now officially a teenager! I Certainly don't feel that old but the truth of the matter is I'm in my mid 30's (and still get I'D - thank you universe) and as of today I am officially a parent of a teenager. Yet I still look for the adult who is more adultier than me and don't feel alot older than I did in my mid 20's except for the fact I have a hell of alot more self confidence, self worth and trust in myself than I did 10 years ago and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up! Anyone else feel this way? #ootd #pinup #pinuplife #pinuplifestyle #nzpinup #nzpinuplife #nzpinuplifestyle #casulpinup #blackjeansandleopardprint #thoughtsonage #thoughtsonlife #foodforthought #parent #parentofateenager #intooyoungforthis #istilldontknowwhatiwanttobewhenigrowup #adulting #parentlife #impostersymdrome #lifeonlifesterms #stillfeelyoung #missmollietov https://www.instagram.com/p/CSToP3OBesU/?utm_medium=tumblr

[devinetheory-2]

In search of Sunrise....

Gotta accept them at their baseline... Or move on.

Kind of hard to expect people to be where I want them to be at spiritually. It requires a particular receptiveness and willingness to be open and vulnerable. I know now, that I have chosen the path less traveled. Not that I EVER had a choice. One that I was put on unknowingly by my people a long time ago. Being "open" can be hard for people like us. It means that you aren't just in tune with yourself and your higher power. You are also in tune with the people and even the environment around you. For me, it's very much like being a spider on a web. I feel EVERY vibration from EVERY living thing that I come across. From the earth, the plants. I can even feel the energies of inanimate objects. That is and can be very overwhelming at times. Especially when I have so much going on in my own life. I can feel people's intentions.... Their "vibes" if you will. With that I can tell alot about them. I used drugs and alcohol for a LONG TIME in an attempt to dumb myself done in social settings.....To numb the pain of "knowing" and to quiet the barrage of feelings associated with being the spider that feels EVERYTHING...ALL THE TIME.

I have come to a point in my life that I know FOR CERTAIN that I have a DIFFERENT purpose in this world. I don't think at this point I will ever be able to go back to living a "normal" life. I can return to the walking dead. The land of obscurity, building more regrets than memories... Go back to numbing and dumbing myself down to fit in society's thresh hold. Or I can live my life through my devine intention. I'm searching for something. I think a lot of us are. Something more. A greater sense of BEING... A purpose beyond anything that this petty world run in it's "normal" and most basic setting has to offer. I yearn for the TRUTH. For TRUE and REAL human connection. To experience love and give it in return in a way that is seldom exercised. Unfortunately, I feel like this means that I have to remove the attachments from my life that seem to be holding me back spiritually. I've taken drugs from my life. I no longer drink. My job is NOT demanding at all. I don't have what I want...but I have what I need to survive... This will prove to be the hardest test of faith for me EVER. I hope that I have the strength to carry this out. My heart breaks just thinking about it. My soul is in consistent agony most of the time though and I feel that I'll never reach this goal if I don't release these attachments.

Pray for me.

-DT

[myownjadedpieceofmind]

There are those days where even though you don't feel like it matters at all, you still get up and do the things that make you feel good. You might be depressed and sitting around like I was earlier...wondering what the point of all of this is. Mad at the world because of the situations I got myself into, and that lead me to where I am now. Thinking somehow or another in all of that past disfunction, I thought I knew what happy was. The thing is... I get in my funk. I withdraw. I turn inwards and I start to look at myself for what I could be changing to make myself happy again. It isn't anyone elses responsibility to see to it that I'm happy. It isn't anyone else's problem that I don't have alot of people I can count on, or even call up for a girls night out. It's all on me... Which sometimes, really sucks. I'm not the greatest friend. I actually SUCK at keeping contact. Being involved. I never had alot of "healthy" relationships to model after. So, instead of sitting around feeling like I'm completely isolated from the world and people... I'm just going to go out and do the things. You know? I'm not sure how I'm going to get over some of my anxieties in regards to people. I don't normally go places alone, safety in numbers and all. I can't keep holding myself back from real life though. Part of recovery is learning how to live a life free from the confines of drugs/alcohol. And that's really what I need to be doing. Living. #livingwithout #dragyourselfoutofit #emotionalfunk #beenfeelingdown #bewhoyouare #livelife #myrecovery #liveafreelife #anxietiessuck #doallthethings #halloweenparties #depression #itgetsbetter #beinginvolved #makeyourselfhappy #mentalhealth #sobriety #soberaf #lifeonlifesterms #dontquitonyourself #youdeservemore #changeyourthoughts #newperspectives #odaat #soberoctober2019 #soberissexy #nightshift #nightauditlife #stopholdingyourselfback #focusonwhatmatters https://www.instagram.com/p/B3gi1ckFsbm/?igshid=1wh5k6rq0kbvv

[howdoyousayavocado]

Two steps forward, four steps back.

I don't know. I wish I knew what was the right thing to do. I feel... trapped. Trapped in this town and my job. Trapped with a cat I didn't want and a bunny that isn't mine. It seems that every time I try to do what I need to do for me, someone else decides to take it personally and derail everything.

I had a dream last night. It was so real. A dream about heroin. I dreamt that I shot up. I haven't touched a needle in probably a year and a half. But it came back so quick to my dreaming self. Mixing it, drawing it up, tapping out the bubbles, tying off and finding a vein, sliding it in, drawing back and getting blood, and slowly pressing down on the plunger.

It was terrifying. It would be so easy to just go get high. Forget about everything going wrong. Nod off to lala land.

[kaytymfknelise-blog]

I have no idea what I am doing

So, i had this bright idea to make a blog. I guess the idea behind this is to just let people know there is hope, even though life is hard, and fast, and confusing af.  So, I guess today I’m just gonna spew off who i am and how i got to this point.  So the first thing you should all know is that i am a lifestyle coach. My mission is to inspire people and help them get through the rough stuff, cause I’m like a pro at it.  Also, I am an addict in recovery.  I had a serious 5 year love affair with heroin.  They told me during my 4 months in rehab that 1. relapses happen and 2. Don’t expect anything to work out the way you think, don’t depend on ANYTHING but yourself.  Well, I was 25 then and i knew more then them, obviously! I wasn’t ready to grow.  I was ready to learn, but i was definitely in control of my life and knew all the right things.  (this is sarcasm, for those of you a bit confused) So I left rehab and killed the mother fucking game for 6 months.  Then I moved closer to my old stomping grounds, went to a bonfire and got mixed up with some old friends, and some new ones.  The night ended with me being to drunk to remember how I got home, or who my new boyfriend was.  That new boyfriend did coke, which I’d done when i was like in high school, but hadn’t touched it in years, I didn’t then either, but the seed was planted. After he dumped me and tried to hand me off to one of his friends, I felt like shit, so I asked for coke. Instead I found crack.  In 3 months I went from 100% sober to being the worst junkie i had ever been. My dealers hated me cause I was annoying as fuck, but they would benefit by the end, so fuck em’. My husband (now ex-husband) decided he would start selling crack! Brilliant idea when your wife is a crack fiend.  Then this dude left me in charge of his night sales, cause I obviously didn’t sleep. Well I smoked all the crack - can you believe it?  We were broke, I was a terrible human, I had lost myself for the billionth time, but this time I had 6 months sober, so I knew this was possible.  Recovery is different for everyone, for me my environment is a huge factor, I have to completely relocate to maintain my sobriety. So after 5 years of my mom begging for me to come to Maine, I finally go. (worst. decision. ever. but we will get there!). So now i am a very recent ex stripper, covered in tattoos, with purple hair-in the most judgemental place I have ever been. Well to say I stood out would be a massive understatement. I mean the way spanish and black dudes look at white chicks with nice butts; that's how these conservative bible humpers looked at me. I had never seen anything like it, and i was a white girl with a nice butt in the hood, so Ive gotten looks! It didn’t take me long to get a job and get myself out there, I colored my hair black (boring), took out my piercings (lame), and stopped wearing high heels (why?). But I was a waitress, I was sober,making bank, had a beautiful family I was pretty happy.  4 years go by, I get yet another boyfriend (I’m way divorced by this point), who decides to punch my kitchen window out. Well, apparently in the state of Maine when you call the police because you feel unsafe, they take away your kids.  So, here I am  soberish (wine is a thing) with no kids, and no clue wtf just happened.  So, when your manic bipolar and your life is falling apart you do some crazy shit, have sex with everyone (my personal fave), spend all your money (I like this one too), Pick up and move your entire life within like 7 hours (this one is fun as well). So I found the biggest, baddest, “sexiest” dude I could.  He spent 20 years in prison, was a felon, no job, no car - ya know, a real winner.  Well this man, I don’t know what it was about him, but my god he has a knack for ruining fucking lives, or getting you to ruin your own is probably more accurate. Well, this asshole brings a bag of heroin IN MY FUCKING HOUSE and offers it to me.  So I’m the type of junkie that if i cant IV that shit, ill pass - that’s wasting.  Well when you have fake balls you have to shoot testosterone, how convenient. Now I’m banging dope after 4 YEARS sober *face palm*.  Well this dude and my best friend of 3 years fucked in my bed and left together, their still together tho, so there’s a positive?  Well, losing my best friend was fucking HARD; I mean that girl was my WHOLE LIFE, like I cant even explain the closeness I *thought* we had. So guess what I did? Heroin, that’s what. Did that shit 2 more times, then was like dude, wtf are you doing!? I stopped for awhile, but when the state took my kids, one went to her dad - so I had to go to CT to see her.  So I pull into Hartford, CT (this is my biggest trigger, i know exactly where to get everything I need, quickly. I avoid Hartford at all costs).  So, I pull in and my original plans fell through, so I called my friend to chill, but upon arrival that also fell through. Bad bad news.  So I go shoot up, and overdose. this being the THIRD time I ODd, and the worst biggest fuck up because my kid wasn’t far. Hate me all ya want, It was horrible and disgusting, I agree - but it happened. About 4/5 days before my overdose I joined this amazing group of ladies, all rocking their businesses, getting fit, and being GENUINELY happy.  When I saw this, I knew I wanted it.  When I overdosed, I knew I needed it. Fast forward to today, its been a month or so since that horrific day, I have a med card so besides bud I haven’t put anything substance like in my body.  I have lost 16 pounds, my energy levels are higher then ever, my mental state is definitely improved, anxiety is down, depression altered a bit, def still bipolar but managing fabulously, considering the circumstances.  I still cry, I carry guilt, I feel weird being in a home with no children, things are by no means perfect, but EVERYDAY, I wake up, I show up, and i implement practices and habits to make my life better and be my best self.  I surround myself with ladies that respect themselves, and other women.  I relocated from that shitty little judgmental town. I live in a place that's more “city” and I can tell you for the first time ever I am looking at the POSITIVES, and only that.  I refuse to let anything negative around me; it still hits, people still try, but I have learned to pull my energy away from that.  After 4 years sober, the sobriety doesn't scare me at all, It is how quickly you can go right back is something you denied so strongly, and fought so hard to end up at what feels like the beginning, but life will always teach you. So, I think I am writing this blog because I need to hold myself accountable, I need somewhere to be honest, and my life since about 16 has been anything but easy; I’m here to reassure you, you can do this, you can come out on the other end, all you have to do is show up! Today I am alive, and free, and I have a good life! xo.

[bdayallday]

7 months. 21 days.

[lifeonherterms]

Have you ever wandered what "Life On Her Terms Media" is all about?

Website: https://www.lifeonherterms.com/

💕 Say “hi” on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lifeonherterms

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifeonherterms/

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[wakingupfree]

I watched yesterday in slow motion the blame show play out. Even though I'm armed with the knowledge I still, in the heat of the moment I go into self-defense mode and come back to counter attack. 🤦‍�� . . I can keep the perspective of not blaming others but I really struggle when I am under attack and don't have time to think things through. . . Understanding it has nothing to do with the other person when those blame tactics hit takes awareness and practice that will only come with time. . Catching myself yesterday fairly quickly, walking away to think is the evidence of my growth. . . . . . . #dailyreflections #freedom #mom #specialneedsmom #love #family #anxiety #spiritualife #lifeonlifesterms #GodisEverything #anewfreedom #family #recovery #sober #mom #mentalhealth #sobermomtribe #happy #joyous #love https://www.instagram.com/p/BwHM-8gHEjb/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1eqjv8g64jjfc

[picturethishaiku]

What I'm meant to do Is much easier when I Learn to spread my wings #vierawetlands #florida #spreadyourwings #inspirationalthoughts #joyful_pics #naturephotography #nikonartists #nikonphotography #world_of_nature #natureselements #poeticsoul #nature_shooters #lifeonlifesterms #naturelove_world #lifeisajourney #lifeispoetry #haikupoetry https://www.instagram.com/picturethishaiku/p/BvwEknKBNkf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=tmwv99bvzdzq

[ladymworld]

E VE R Y T H I N G H A P P E N S F O R A R E A S O N. . . W T A F . . .😉💪 It does seem to be the case for me...I just wish I didn't kick back so much as I have to go through such pain to reach the end of the "lesson". I don't mean that to sound like 'self pity' as I now know that there are reasons why I experienced all that I did over the last 2 years but boy I don't half make things complicated do I? Mind you, at least I won't be making THOSE decisions again...🤣 How do YOU learn lessons? Do YOU think, looking back, that things happen for a reason? #lessonsinlife #learninghowtoliveinthisworld #life #lifeonlifesterms #12stepprogram #learningthroughpain #progressnotperfection #talkingtherapyworks #justkeepswimming #suicideisapermanentsolutiontoatemporaryproblem (at Bingham, Nottingham, United Kingdom) https://www.instagram.com/p/CiI4ZimM3LwZnfugoohgXF1VYWzoEDHDBQ5tLM0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[stillnessforhappiness]

“The greatest test of courage on the earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” – R. G. Ingersoll . . . Esperance, September 2021 . . . #courage #defeat #heart #goodvibes #travel #couragequotes #couragetobe #life #lifeonlifesterms #nature #naturephotography #photooftheday #picoftheday #inspire #inspiredaily #naturelovers #love #wanderlust #instagood #inspirationalquotes #inspiration #positivevibes #choosehappiness #beauty #heartcentered #courageovercomfort #couragetochange #courageouscreative #couragemylove #lovequotes (at Esperance, Western Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ-k5TLvP-U/?utm_medium=tumblr