#i blocked these anons many times and i still get them regardless

[menalez]

to the idiot anon that keeps hassling me about things i said as a traumatised teenager on tumblr: i already talked in detail, several times, and explained every single thing you keep harassing me about. you refuse to actually listen because you don’t care about the reason, you just want an excuse to harass a rape & SA victim without guilt.

“why did you do these things!!!!” because i felt i couldn’t say no, as is typical for a child whose only sexual experience was rape. because the times i said no were not respected and i thought saying no meant risking getting raped again. i didn’t want to face rape again.

“why did you brag about it!!!!” because i wanted to look cool online, because i wanted to convince myself i was totally ok with it & happy with my situation, because i didn’t want to be victimised again, because adults were praising me for it and giving me attention for it, because i thought if i convince myself that i’m ok with it maybe eventually i’ll be into it. because kids, which is what i was, also exaggerate things and try to seem more mature & experienced online. why would i say it was traumatising to me as soon as i was free, long before i knew rape apologists like u existed?

“these things aren’t acceptable to do outside of marriage in a conservative religious country!!!” neither is being raped. i was already ostracised for being raped. i was already being called a whore & bullied for being raped. i already lost basically every person i considered a friend, for being raped by a friend. i already was considered worthless. also many of u are intentionally forgetting the part where i was suicidal and constantly trying to end my life. i wasn’t exactly trying to live in a place where i already was worthless for being raped.

i’ve talked about this in detail over and over and over and over. but clearly sadists on here have a thing for me & enjoy forcing me to relive my trauma.

some of u will never understand the experience of being a child rape victim in a muslim middle eastern country, u will never understand losing every friend over being raped & the whole school gossiping about ur rape & sending u hate messages saying they’re laughing at u for being such a whore that got raped. u will never understand the only “friend” u have being a guy who knows ur boundaries have been destroyed that all he needs to do is destroy them further and insist you’re in a relationship whether you consent to it or not. which is fine. don’t understand my experience. but have the basic decency of not understanding it away from me.

[emmett6]

i am being attacked by antis.

this is emmett. emmettnet, emmettverse, emmettland, emmettundead, emmettlab. whichever blog you knew me from.

i am a whump creator. i've been in the whump community for a few years now. and now, i am unable to share my work with the community on here because people are mass reporting me for being a proshipper, and Tumblr keeps deleting my blogs as a result.

(if that isn't the reason why, i would be more than happy to get the explanation from @staff that i've been asking for.)

now, that is speculation on my part based on the timing of each termination (it's after i put my pinned post in the whump tags).

but here are the facts:

months ago, i became comfortable enough to share proshipping content. seeing as how every other artist would link their nsfw work on here, i thought it was acceptable for me to do the same so long as the preview image did not violate any rules.

an anon asked if i was a proshipper, and i said i didn't ascribe to that label*, but i agreed with the philosophy.

*i don't have any choice BUT to use it now because my posts get removed for describing what the content is

note that this anon asked multiple people in the whump community if they were proshippers. it was the same person each time, same copy-and-pasted responses.

i kept posting my proshipping content, all with links and extensive content warnings.

i started getting anon hate.

my account was terminated. after further reflection and rereading the terms of service AGAIN, i figured maybe links are not allowed and so i switched to DM only.

this time, the anon hate was consistent. every week was something new. every day felt like bracing myself to open my inbox. i kept anon on, since i have so many people who feel uncomfortable sending asks off anon and didn't want to take away their safe space.

months pass. i go on hiatus for all of July. i find out someone stole my old nsfw art and reposted their edited versions of it to rule34, a site that i never wanted my work to be on. this person waited until the exact starting day of my hiatus to do this.

i come back to more anon hate in my inbox.

suddenly, out of nowhere, my account is terminated again.

i make a new blog. more anon hate. another termination.

lather, rinse, repeat.

i stopped doing DM only stuff. i figured, if i just link my other platforms and only post safe things on Tumblr, there's nothing in the rules against that. everyone has links to their social media.

i still get terminated. and again, i keep getting terminated after i post my pinned post in the whump tags. which -- speculation again -- leads me and others to think that these antis are stalking the whump tags, waiting for me to show up so they can mass report me and get me terminated.

i have NO idea what they would report, aside from claiming i'm trying to "dodge being blocked". which, i'm not. in fact, i say every single time i come back that i WANT people to block me if they need to.

but regardless, it keeps happening.

i'm losing a place i considered home.

i'm being forced out of a community on here i love so dearly.

and you want to know something funny? for some strange reason, i'm unable to block my anons. yup. an 'error' message comes up. and i'm apparently unable to report them too -- like reporting the one who called me a 'tumblr tranny' and said i would 'always be a woman' for hate speech. oops, sorry. error message.

by now, i've been called evil. told to listen to my intrusive thoughts. told that i should be on a watch list. told that it's disgusting that someone's mutuals still interact with me. told that i have no place in the whump community.

i know that's not true.

i'm so sick and tired of being treated like this. i'm tired of being dehumanized. and i'm disgusted with this behavior.

at this point, i'm just screaming as many times as i can. i'll keep losing blogs, because i know my attackers will read this and just keep on reporting me. what do they have to lose? nothing. they don't have enough of a conscience to care. and why should they? clearly, i'm a monster. i'm a piece of shit. i don't deserve basic respect, and i apparently don't deserve to keep my 'platform'. to stay in my community and to keep my livelihood.

my discord is emmettnet. send me a DM if you don't want to lose me, because there is no point in following me repeatedly just for every blog to be terminated.

if you want to reblog this to spread the word and show your support, i would be eternally grateful. but i understand if you choose not to; i don't want anyone to be subjected to what i'm going through.

thank you for reading.

[fatuismooches]

Hi, uhm, i'm someone who has been lurking around for a while.. Mostly because i'm far too awkward to ever interact directly, but i've decided to gather the courage to ask.. Or, rather share my thoughts

I just had ACL reconstruction surgery with my meniscus as well, and i am in absolute horrible discomfort/pain, i've been entertaining myself with what my favorite characters would do to support their s/o after a similar situation, yk.. For comfort,

Dottore finding different medicine to block the pain, or recording the progress made every day.. Actually he probably did the surgery himself..

Pantalone using his wealth to buy products that would ease the pain, medicine.. Moving his desk into his s/o's room just to monitor them himself.. Or something like it

Capitano helping his s/o with mobilisation, getting around or just being a pillar his s/o could depend on, all fluff.. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read that, i'd like your thoughts on it..

-unlabeled anon (for now)

Dottore would never trust anyone else to handle something so important, as both your doctor and your lover he is more than capable of taking care of you. You're thankful for this, knowing you're in skilled hands, but of course, you still can't help but be scared of undergoing surgery. Dottore, not being the best with these matters, would just hold you and reassure you that it would be over before you know it. Unfortunately, for all of his skill, he still can't exactly stop the pain afterward, but he still tries to find a solution. He is not a scholar for no reason. He would experiment with different mixtures and formulas, not resting until he managed to make something that's better than the last. Which you know of but can't exactly stop him from overworking, but with enough begging you can convince him to take a break and cuddle with you. During these breaks, he would always question you regarding your current state, which you love him for, but you would still like to have a normal conversation with him! The segments as well, they always pop in regularly to check in on you. They make sure you're comfortable and have your needs met in as many ways as they can. Zandy too, he would be more than willing to be your little helper and at your beck and call. Not wanting you to strain yourself.

Pantalone would spare no expense if it meant you could feel even the slightest bit more comfortable. Of course, he consults with only the best of the best to get the best possible recommendations. He certainly doesn't see a problem with spending his money this way, even if you feel a bit guilty he's spent this much on you again (not just the medical stuff, but also numerous gifts and services he has provided for you) but Pantalone would always shush you by kissing you. You're his lover, it's only natural that he makes sure only the best. And he will see to that. Pantalone usually likes keeping his work life away from his personal one, so as to focus all of his attention on you, but this is different. Good thing the bedroom is big enough to fit his office stuff. He also doesn't let Fatui agents come in so as to not bother or disturb you (though they are panicking over how to relay messages to the Harbinger, he gets a lot of papers slipped under the door for a while.) He keeps an eye on you more than you think, you don't really know how he multitasks like that but you're thankful regardless.

Capitano would initially be scared to hold you - you're weak right now and he's scared of accidentally hurting you. But even he can see how much you need him right now so he manages to get over his fear. He's super gentle with you, it seems uncharacteristic of a man like him but he can't help it. He wants to help you as much as someone like him can, even though he's wholly inexperienced and awkward with such things. Capitano would kind of be a large guard dog with the touch of a little puppy, he's a silent man in general so many times you find him staring at you silently as if to ask what he can do to ease your pain. Another one who's at your beck and call except he's not the best but he's learning. He's the one who has made a whole checklist and reads it off in the same voice every day, it honestly gets comedic eventually and then he's confused why you're giggling. All in all, he's not used to being so gentle, but he's always willing to do so for you.

[brettdoesdiscourse]

The anti sex work movement act as if abuse can't/doesn't happen in so called regular working environments

You can easily get abused working at McDonald's or retail

you can have a whole ass high paying career and still get abused

These people are just icked out by it and believe sex work shouldn't exist even if the environment is safe

You're absolutely correct, anon.

And you want to know something else? In my experience, I've been less protected in traditional working environments than in sex work.

At 18, I had a man stand in front of me and my manager, yelling at me for something I wasn't even on shift for. He asked if I was an idiot, if I was that stupid, etc. And I just had to take that.

When I was camming, I had full control to kick someone from my room if they were behaving in a way I didn't like.

When I was stripping, there's not a chance in hell the owner would ever let a customer yell at one of the dancers or speak to them like that.

When I was doing videos/pictures/etc, I had full control to block and delete those comments. I was even able to report them as abusive.

In sex work, I've never had to just smile and take that kind of abuse.

In my experience as well, I had people treating me way shittier in retail situations than they did in sex work. (Most the time.)

I like to compare sex work to the media industry.

There is so much abuse that happens on movie and TV sets. Physical, sexual, financial, mental, emotional abuse. They all happen and they're all pretty common with movies/TV shows.

Yet, nobody is boycotting movies/TV as a whole because this abuse happens. Hell, a lot of people won't even boycott a movie/TV show where they know abuse specifically took place.

Nobody's screaming on their accounts that you're abusive if you watch movies/TV shows. Nobody's telling "normal" actors that they're automatically being exploited if they're in any movie/TV show. Nobody's discounting independent movies where all the actors are happy and there's no signs of abuse as "still abusive" just because abuse happens in the industry.

At its heart, the anti sex work movement is anti sex.

The only real difference between porn and a regular movie is the intention. Porn is meant to arouse (in most cases), it's meant to be enjoyed sexually. And so many people still have such puritanical, conservative views on sex that this that's meant to arouse is worse because its "only" purpose is to arouse.

If you want to talk about people getting their autonomy taken away, sex work is another huge aspect for that. And not just in the way people think.

Yes, we get our autonomy taken away by predatory studios/clients. But we also get our autonomy taken away by lawmakers. We get our autonomy taken away by anti sex work people when they tell us that actually we "can't consent" to that. We're routinely told what we have to do or cannot do with our bodies, regardless of what we want to do with them.

And in my experience, most of that autonomy (in the current day) is stripped away by people who are anti sex work. The same people who hide behind "I'm pro sex worker" and "I just want to protect these poor people (usually they say or mean just women)"

[afreakingdork]

By making your tcest fic a part of your 'Villain's Mask' series after the fact that you built up your fanbase is such a slap in the face to them. You could easily explore your trauma under anon, a feature AO3 has, but you instead alienated your fanbase for... what exactly? I'm all for artists expressing themselves, but those 2000+ kudos on Weak Spot can never be taken back. They can't just 'block and move on' when their names are permanently on your work. Did you think about that? In a world where people harass others for simply accidentally following a tcester? Whether people like it or not, they're now associated with someone who wrote tcest with little to no warning. This is incredibly irresponsible of you, and I hope you realize that. AO3 isn't tumblr, it's a no man's land, people know that, and so, so many people hold their kudos back until a fic is finished just in case an author pulls a fast one on them. You bait and switched your audience, plain and simple. You claim it can be skipped, yet it's part of the series you're still actively writing. I'm not here to shame you for your deciding to switch things up or whatever, that's your right, but rather to inform you of the consequences of your actions. I hope those who inevitably get harassed for having their name on your fic is worth it.

First off, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

I hear you.

I will admit that I didn't know that was how kudos worked. I understand why you're upset and I want to address your concerns. When I decided to explore On the Spot, it was not a decision I took lightly. My choices and how they effect others is something I have always been acutely aware of. I considered as many ramifications as I could. I debated posting it anonymously, but I ultimately chose not to for a few reasons.

For one, I believe in being transparent about my work. I have never presented myself as anyone other than me. As such, it was evident that my writing style could not be masked. For another, the work is intrinsically tied to Weak Spot. This is not a story that exists on its own. I have no proclivity for tcest. I have never once before wanted to create tcest content and I have never wanted to since. This story was born from the universe that I created and I only saw this as an avenue related to the versions of the characters that I had crafted within the world of Weak Spot.

This is why, regardless of my knowledge on how the kudos system works, I would have posted On the Spot in the same manner. It was in the examination of possible fall out and consequences that I realized one thing: I cannot control the actions of others. I am widely on the record for loving that about art. You can pour as much intention as you want into something, but you will never be able to control how any one person receives it. No matter how responsible or considerate I was, someone was bound to be effected. I could provide clear warnings and tag appropriately, but at the end of the day, the only way I could have avoided response, negative or otherwise, was by not posting at all.

To what end?

To satisfy some sect that will think the worst of me regardless of how much attention I put into posting something with harmful contents?

You inadvertently prove my decision to share the work under these circumstances. I put as much care possible into posting and yet here you are, claiming you're not here to shame me, yet you imply I'm responsible for any harassment that thousands of others may possibly face. The responsibility for harassment lies with those who choose to engage in that behavior.

Why should those who have read Weak Spot, a work that is devoid of tcest content, be damned simply because the creator and not them chose to delve into painful means in a completely separate story?

Why don't we better use your time to examine the outright lunacy that exists in this fandom because why is it possible that someone would obsessively comb through 2000+ kudos in an attempt to supposedly out users that they think are aiding and abating someone who they have convinced themselves are a tcester?

That is nothing short of unhealthy obsession on one hand or virtue signalling on the other.

Guilt by association is an unfair fallacy.

You can be upset with me for what I have created. I will take the criticism wholeheartedly. I know what I have done. There was no bait and switch. I have never billed myself as one particular type of artist. We have a common enemy you and me. Don't you dare think you can hold me accountable for other individual's actions when it is a fact that I have no control over them. Instead of unfairly attributing guilt, maybe focus your energy into holding those who actually responsible accountable.

[synchodai]

A bit of a serious question and maybe a controversial opinion. I've liked jacegan ever since I read the books. I've always thought there's a lovely strong, mutual connection between them, regardless of whether you see romantic or sexual overtones. 

And of course I was waiting for hotd to show that. And unfortunately got crumbs. But let's get to the main point. What I didn't realize when there were only books and not much has changed since the series came out. It's Jace and Baela. These two as a couple never interested me in the book or the show. And given the current agendas, fans of the Jace/Baela pairing are especially "aggressive". Because if you're a jacegan fan, you're automatically a racist and misigonist. But.... I didn't like her when she was a white canon Targaryen. I have no hatred or anything like that. The character just didn't hook me, nor did their connection to Jace. On the show, I'm sorry, Baela barely has a chance to develop as a character in season 1. Season 2 has some cool moments with her, but she's still more of an appendix to Rhaenyra and Jace. And yes, I'm sorry that such a character is neglected, as well as many other interesting characters, but given the format of the show and the number of episodes, they have to sacrifice something (the jacegan line is almost completely cut). And back to the serialized Baela and Jace. Their pairing is more of a favorable union for me. There's no spark, no love, no passion. They literally haven't seen each other in years since Rhaenys took her away. Then they met and were unexpectedly announced to be engaged. And there was a shaky situation all around. There was no room for any romance. Then the diplomatic mission, Luke dies and the whole of season 2 Jace is busy with anything but Baela. She's the one who's more of a comforter. And the rare "cute" moments are improvised by the actors who are trying to create/show some kind of relationship in place of the writers, because they are engaged. But it doesn't help, imho, for me personally. I just see two early matured people who are in a stressful situation. They support each other as best they can. I'm sure their marriage would be strong, secure because they are more like friends/family than lovers. And that is my main complaint. I'm sorry, but even in Jace and Cregan's 3 minute scene, there is more chemistry through looks than in the entire time Jace and Baela interacted. Of course that's still a matter of taste. But then again, why would anyone allow themselves to criticize another person for their tastes and hobbies? Why is it that if I'm not interested in Jace and Baela's pairing, I'm immediately misogynistic and racist, and don't support the characters' geth, but cling to white men in homosexual relationships. Like...what do you want? I don't want to be a hypocrite. I just don't care for Baela's character and her relationship with Jace in either the books or the show. That's it. 

Jace and Kregan's relationship is much more interesting, colorful, tragic and carries more meaning and love. I won't describe it in detail, because there are some great methinks on the blog. And that's it.

Wow...uh... I sincerely hope you feel better getting that off your chest, anon. Thankfully, I've never interacted with people who react negatively to my jacegan posts or fics. I'm sorry you've had that experience and thank you for taking the time and effort to share it with me. If you encounter people like that, you should really block them and not allow them access into your mental space.

If your question was what I feel about jacaela, then I don't really feel strongly about it either way? I was also neutral to jacegan until I started writing about it, to be fair. I mainly got into it because I wanted to explore the idea of Sara Snow being Jace and/or Cregan and relate that to masks, identity, and performance of masculinity/femininity/gender.

I'm willing to bet if I start a jacaela project, I'd see the merits of that ship, too. I probably won't write about show!Baela though, because she doesn't have much of a personality and seems to be more loyal to Rhaenyra than Jace? She only ever speaks for Rhaenyra's interests and never Jace's. Honestly, her one scene with Rhaenyra made me think she's more enamored with the mom than the son. When Jace was having valid issues about his legitimacy, Baela was quick to dismiss him as "pouting" even though both their lives and positions rely on the strength of his claim to the throne. It was honestly baffling. If I was gonna write for show!Baela, I'd ship her with Rhaenyra before Jace — makes a lot more sense with the text.

In the book, Baela was eager to get married to Jace and had some really compelling tension with him. Him delaying their wedding after going north? Really juicy stuff. Baela is only noted as getting more promiscuous after Jace's death (and after she was left alone in Dragonstone) — so another writer (who isn't me) could explore the conflicting emotions of feeling free of the shackles of arranged marriage while also grieving a future that Baela very likely once dreamed of. There's also the incest angle, the fact that Rhaenyra and Daemon's marriage could have only happened if the parent they both loved died, how Baela doesn't want to act like a lady/princess but Jace desperately wants to be seen as a lord/prince — lots of places a competent writer can take it for sure. It can be a great friends-to-lovers, shared trauma/mutual healing, marriage-of-convenience-turned-real kind of thing. Baela as a tsundere, Jace as an angsty anime protag.

I don't think one ship is more meaningful or loving than the other — it really depends on what you're looking for and who's writing. For now, I'm full throttle manning my current ship and I've already made so many posts about why. I'd like to think I do a good job exploring the potential of jacegan, and I am fully aware it is a ship made of crumbs, but that's the fun of it. Embrace that it's a hidden gem that you unearthed! Embrace the tinfoil.

[demiaroacejadeharley]

This post contains some spoilers from The Amazing Digital Circus. This post also contains critiques in regard to Vivziepop, Helluva Boss, and Hazbin Hotel. Vivziepop stans (as in the people who defend her work and her as a person) are not allowed to interact with me. Any Vivziepop fan who sends me asks (especially Anon asks) will be deleted. Any fans who DM me will have their message deleted and will be blocked. Finally, anyone who screenshots this post and makes a post tagging me in it to defending Vivziepop will be blocked.

I'm not trying to get people to harass Vivziepop and harass anyone who is a fan of her. And I'm not trying to stop people from supporting Vivziepop and not trying to make people feel bad about supporting her either. Watch whatever you want. Take this post with a grain of salt. And if you get somewhat upset with the criticisms I have for Vivziepop, then that's your problem.

Vivziepop antis and critical fans are allowed to interact.

Earlier today, I watched The Amazing Digital Circus, and these are my final thoughts.

Honestly, the pilot was really good, and I'm looking forward to it finally becoming a full-fledged series. And I'm looking forward to it expanding the Lore as well. I'm curious as to how Pomni got trapped there in the first place and other stuff like the void and the exit door thing.

What I appreciate it is that it didn't need copious amounts of swearing, unlike other comedy web series like Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. There were swears, but they were more spread out and brief on top of the swears being censored.

Even though Gooseworx has worked with Vivziepop in the past, I find TADC to be leagues better than HH and HB. I've seen a video about the drama surrounding Gooseworx, but from what I've seen,the stuff they have done is much more tame than the shit Vivziepop has pulled.

I hope to see more Amazing Digital Circus content to come out in the future. I'm interested as to see where the series will go. Unlike Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss, it didn't feel like I was watching something that felt like it was created by an edgy middle schooler. The female characters had much more personality than the ones from HH and HB, despite it being just a pilot.

Another thing to point out is that the cast of TADC had a lot of fresh faces to the voice acting industry, unlike Hazbin and Helluva Boss, where Vivziepop relied on casting big name actors in order to garner more attention to her work. And I'm going to be fully honest, I find it really sus at the fact that the OG cast of HH couldn't return because they didn't unionize in order to get their roles back. A lot of them were fully new to the industry, too, which is the sad part. I wish that Vivziepop wouldn't rely on hiring big-name actors in her work and would hire people who are very new to the voice acting scene who are desperate to land a role as some of them rely on voice acting as their main source of income.

To end this post, I just want to point out that I'm not blaming Vivziepop for the fact that the original cast of Hazbin Hotel didn't get their roles back. But at the same time, that whole situation feels questionable to me. Until I hear the full story about it, then I'll decide if she should be held accountable or not. However, the whole hiring big actors thing has been a critique of mine for a while on top of the use of the r slur in Helluva Boss (even though it was only said once and was almost again, it shouldn't have been used at all as it's an ableist slur and I'm a disabled person who has been called the r slur many times in the past). I'm fully aware that HB takes place in hell, but using hell as a way to excuse the use of the r slur is ableist. It's still ableist to call someone the r slur regardless of the setting and the context. The r slur should never be used as a way to call someone stupid. I'm not sure if Vivziepop wrote the script herself, but whoever is in charge of the script should be careful of the type of language they use in the show. I'm fully aware that both Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are adult shows, but it doesn't mean it's an excuse to normalize offensive and bigoted language. It doesn't help that the shows poorly portray women (like how Millie is just reduced to being Moxxie's wife and likes killing) even though the creator of both shows is a woman.

I'm just gonna stop here for now. I'm going to go back to waiting for more Amazing Digital Circus content to come out.

[knightochan-official]

So I've been getting lots of asks like this ever since I got into my argument with @aokozaki and the other side of the "theyfab discourse", who's also been getting lots of really fucking stupid asks that, as far as I can tell, are posing as both sides of the Discourse (tm).

Now I'm not a big blog, so I obviously get proportionately less of these asks, but it's very suspicious. There are a lot of vague claims and hateful generalized insults flying into my askbox, at the same time that transfeminine people are being mass-pestered about "supporting transmisogyny."

I don't know who you are but if you're sincere, please log off and do literally anything else. Stirring the pot anonymously in other tumblrs' accounts isn't going to lead to people stop being "spineless assholes" and regardless of my personal feelings these are still friends of friends you're talking shit about.

But to be honest? I'm starting to think something's going on here. This is terminology that no one in my circle knew about but generally accepted as rude when they first heard about it, that overnight became the most widespread and pressing social poison plaguing the trans community.

People are being positioned as transmisogynist for thinking a word is rude, other people are being led into actual serious transmisogynist lines of reasoning. Make no mistake that without transmisogyny, there would be nothing to exploit, this discourse is rooted in transmisogynistic stereotypes of politically aggressive, "4chan-coded" trans people, but the fact that there are so many anonymous posters consistently portraying this hateful stereotype is deeply suspicious to me.

If you're getting asks about this debate or whatever I'd strongly just advise disengaging and blocking whoever sends them. Someone or someones are really insistent on poisoning the well, even if it's not this anon specifically, and is really dedicated to egging on sincerely concerned trans feminists and making people who highlight transmisogyny look bad in the absence of that.

[sapphire-heart-tippy]

CW: vent, transphobia, anon hate, anger inducing

Already blocked that transphobic anon, and I know I shouldn't let them bother me, but it's pushed me to the limit

The amount of hatred and transphobia I both get and see from others is disheartening.

The treatment you get whether you're born female or present female or feminine in any way regardless of your sex or gender is horrible. If you're a cis woman, if you're a feminine cis man, if you're a trans masc who hasn't/doesn't want to transition (or still very much enjoys being feminine), if you're trans fem, if you're any type of feminine whatsoever.

When I was a child, I was taught that I was born evil because I was born with a vagina and uterus. I'm still told that to this day.

I still suffer from misogyny, I still have "women's health issues", I still get treated poorly, I still get talked over, I still have my intelligence questioned, and I do not pass as a man at all nor do I really want to. Now I suffer from transphobia alongside it.

I don't even want to be a man or a woman. I want to be my own thing. And I am my own thing.

People get angry with me for the trans thing, for the masc thing, for the nonbinary thing, for the vagina-having thing, for the androgyne thing, for every single thing about me.

So I get transphobia from cishet people angry that I'm trans even though I don't "look the part", and who call me "they" or "she", no matter how many times I politely ask for them to call me "he". Then question my intelligence because I was born with a uterus.

And I get transphobia from fellow queer people who think that I'm evil and go "why can't you just be a girl? Why can't you just be a feminine nonbinary who uses she/they? Why do you have to be a traitor?" Then question my competence because of my labels and pronouns.

And they both call me "girl" then get angry at me for saying, "hey that makes me feel dysphoric please stop." And they claim "but I was using it in a gender neutral way!!! People say 'dude' all the time!!!"

I don't say "dude" or "girl" at people unless I know for sure that they're okay with it, because it's called respect.

How about we all just stop thinking in the binary please. I'm not a binary person. I use binary descriptors but I'm very clearly nonbinary. I mean that to the fullest extent.

I'm a mascfem androgyne who wants to have both sets of genitals. Yes I'm technically "trans masc" and like to use masculine descriptors and even call myself gay and achillean. But that doesn't mean I'm strictly binary, especially not whatever binary is being thrown around right now.

I'm very thankful and glad I have friends who support me, but unfortunately there are so many people who want me to just be a girl again.

So yeah, I get stressed out whenever I get messages and anons from people who spew their hatred of anything trans masculine then say "oh by the way I'm not being transphobic :)"

Yes you are.

You're being putrid to a stranger because of this thing you made up in your head.

I'm going to block the next person, I don't care how long we've been friends, who posts anything hateful about any queer identity. I've already blocked plenty of transphobic, biphobic, enbyphobic, and acephobic people.

Please just respect others' identities. Yes, you can go "ugh that's so stupid and lame" in your head, but please do not spiral out of control and start hating individuals over it.

[moongothic]

Okay, here goes. What's your ultimate Crocodad timeline? You can go as wild or as believable as you want.

I mean I made this timeline chart/post/thing.

But if you meant it in a more "how do you think things actually went down" specific kinda way, uhhhhh. Great question, not sure I know how to answer. Like. The possibilities on what could've happened and how are nearly endless and all those options are so interesting to me. Even if there's ideas I feel like might be more likely than others, or I find myself more invested in some ideas, I can't fully like, dedicate myself to any specific idea for a plot point or a storybeat or anything, especially if there's nothing to suggest if anything even remotely similar could've happened.

Like, say for example, how did Crocodile and Dragon meet? There's literally infinite ways they could've met, to the point I'm not even really that interested in speculating on it, because more likely than not, any guess I make will probably be wrong. Like speculating about something like that feels almost pointless. Compare that to say, how did Luffy end up in Garp's care? While we know like nothing about what exactly happened, we do have any theoretical information (ex: Garp and Croc should not know about each other, meaning there must've been a third party to deliver the baby, and it's more than likely that was Dragon) that we can get to much more specific when speculating about what might've happened. Like there's still plenty of options, but the options are far fewer, which makes the speculation so much more interesting, for me at least

But at the same time, I don't want to get too fond of any idea in because Oda could still prove me wrong and debunk it and I'd be sad if I got like fond of a concept and I ended up being dead wrong lmao

Mind you, for me, a big part of the reason I'm invested in the theory to begin with IS the possibility of it being canon. Like yes Crocodad would and always will make for fun AU fanfics regardless of if it's canon or not. But I am here to more or less speculate about canon.

So between my brain treating Crocodad as this monstrous, gigantic flow chart, and me not wanting to get too attached to any potential path on the chart... Yeah I don't know what to tell you anon, I'm sorry

Like. Just as an example. On how my brain processes this shit.

(Sidenote, this chart is like under the assumption that Croc and Dragon had mutually agreed that their child would be put in the care of Dragon's father. And while that makes the most sense to me by a long shot, technically it's totally possible Luffy was taken away from Crocodile by force by Dragon or something else) (THERE'S SO MANY POTENTIAL THINGS THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED, AHHHHHHH)

Like here, I think the most likely canon scenarios would be the "Respectful Rejection" followed by "Too Stunned To Speak -> It's Bad" routes, though personally I might be most interested in the "It Was Really Bad" route because it'd be really fucked up and sad

So like. Yeah. I have no idea what my "ultimate Crocodad timeline" would be, there's too much room for speculation to the point anything specific would leave the room of Neutral Canon Speculation and just turn into a plain old fanfic, and I'm just here for theorizing

But hey if you wanted a fanfic, here's a TL:DR;

(You know I say this is a TL:DR; but this got so fucking long it almost broke this post. Like Tumblr would not let me save the draft or post it anymore because there's a 4k character limit to "blocks", I had to break this into chunks man)

If Crocodile was betrayed by his crew after losing to Whitebeard and had to kill them himself in self-defence;

Who the fuck knows, maybe by some twist of fate our wounded/dying, exhausted and traumatized Crocodile drifted in the sea and his ship ran into Dragon, the man rescuing Crocodile from the kindness of his heart or something IDK

If the dude had to kill his own crew immidiately after Whitebeard crushed his hopes and dreams, Crocodile must've been just absolutely shell shocked. Depressed and withdrawn, just out of it. So maybe Dragon being there could've been great for Croc's mental state. Maybe. Big maybe.

If Crocodile did turn out to be the Rev Army's Secret Sugar Daddy then perhaps this is how that relationship kind of started: Crocodile could've paid Dragon in cash money as thanks for saving his life, and then just kept the money coming since Dragon had an army to run and needed the funds

(Like we don't know why Crocodile joined the Shichibukai anyways, but if it was only ever for The Benefits of not having to deal with the Marines chasing his ass anymore and if he didn't give a rat's ass about the Government... Like yeah, why not fund the Revolutionary Army, give money to the people trying to directly take down the fuckers while right under their noses.) (Who knows maybe Croc does have his own reasons for hating the WG and had like a genuine reason beyond just being a petty king and/or having basic human decency in understanding why the WG was corrupt and needed to be overthrown)

Thus begins a secret comradery where Crocodile every now and then goes and drops off some money to Dragon to help fund the Army, nobody on either side of the war any wiser (except maybe Iva-chan, they're allowed to be in on the secret, as a treat). It's their secret that they keep for years

Time passes

Whoopsie poopsie Crocodile's prégónánté

The two realize that their kid is going to be in so much danger for a pletora of reasons and that neither can raise the baby. Dragon knows his father would keep their baby safe and they both agree to leaving the child to him (not a happy decision, it's just for the best, for everyone's sake)

Anyway Crocodile's gender dysphoria goes into turbo mode during pregnancy. Maybe he never really realized it was there and/or what it was, but boy howdy, it's there now and it's really really bad. Like, if it wasn't for the baby he might just kill himself (and god knows once the kid is out and taken away, there's not going to be anything to stop him from doing just that)

Crocodile must've gone into hiding during the latter half of his pregnancy to keep it a secret from the Government, and I could totally imagine him being hellbent on being completely isolated. He is a Shichibukai, everybody knows him, he can't risk having even some random doctor recognize him and find out about the baby. Besides, it's not like he can do much while hiding anyways, like he might as well read 150 medical books to ensure he can deliver his baby by himself

(Sidenote but the narrator in OP has called Fuusha Village Luffy's "birth place" (think the term he used was "umereta machi", lit. "town he was born in"), and if that's true, then. Croc should've been hiding in and/or near Fuusha Village in Goa Kingdom. Additional sidenote, there are wild crocodiles in Goa, which are the Sir's favorite food.)

To avoid suspicion and the risk of being found out, Dragon might've agreed to not go see Crocodile during this time, only agreeing to see his significant other after the child was born so he could then deliver the baby to Garp (after not just leaving the Marines but also starting a fucking revolutionary army, the dude probably didn't want his father to find out he had been dating a fucking WARLORD)

But surely he'd think Crocodile was insane if he thought he'd let Crocodile deliver the baby alone. Like no, somebody needs to be there by his side. Someone Dragon could trust, a fellow Revolutionary perhaps. Oh yeah, just send Ivankov, what could possibly go wrong

(Personal headcanon but since we don't know when Ivankov got their Fruit, I kind of want to imagine they ate it just a short time ago at this point and that they hadn't fully realized the potential of the Hormone Fruit yet. Like their genderfluid ass may not have understood the power they now held)

Iva-chan did not know Croc was prénánté, whether Dragon told Ivankov ahead of time why they were being sent to check on Croc is up or debate (if Iva-chan was aware of Croc being their Secret Sugar Daddy though then I'm sure they understood why Dragon wanted and was willing to help out Crocodile in this situation). Croc and/or Dragon probably lied through their teeth about the father of the child if Iva-chan ever asked about it, and whatever Iva-chan was told they clearly bought it since they never knew about Dragon having a kid.

When Iva gets there though they can see right away that something is fucking wrong with Crocodile, in ways even he can't understand. He is so uncomfortable 24/7 for seemingly no reason. So naturally Iva-chan pokes and prods at the dumbass until Croc has a break down and explains his weird feelings he can't even word properly and this is how Emporio Ivankov discovered transgenderism

What's that? You don't like what pregnancy has done to your body, doesn't feel like it's yours anymore? You feel love for your child but don't want to be its mother? Good news, you can be its father instead. Bad news, gotta wait until the baby is farted out. Aren't sure about it? No worries, there's time to think about it, and shit's 100% reversible anyways. Just hang in there for a little bit longer, you may feel god awful rn but that too shall pass

(Maybe this is how Iva-chan starts calling Crocodile "Crocoboy", just to get him to warm up to the idea that he could be(come) a man, get used to it etc)

Crocodile has an identity crisis of a lifetime. Like either he knew since he was a small child that something was fucky wucky, or he never realized it until now, either way, he must not have even been aware of the idea that he could trans his gender (which would make sense if Ivankov only recently got their Fruit just sayin'). So yeah. Enjoy that gender crisis, dumbass

Like he straight up just goes through the five stages of grief before he's like "god dammit if it'll make me feel less like I'll kill myself then it's worth a shot, don't care what Dragon ends up thinking"

At some point Croc must've contacted Dragon at least one final time just so they can agree on when and where they'll meet to hand over the baby once it's born (if Croc doesn't die at child birth. I mean they both know he'll be fine, Croc's survived worse. But if something did happen, Iva-chan will take care of the baby until Dragon arrives)

This is One Piece. Luffy was born at dawn.

Crocodile probably insists on getting the T literally immidiately after the baby is out. If he doesn't just pass out immidiately after giving birth. But like within 24 hours of giving birth. Iva-chan is probably like "Crocoboy you're exhausted, chill, your cooch needs to recover" and he's just like "why wait for it to recover when you're going to get rid of it, just do it"

(Iva-chan probably goes and gets Croc some emergency clothes and like bottles and baby food etc because god knows he's going to burst out of his old clothes and he ain't gonna have the tiddies to breastfeed that baby either)

Anyway he gets the rones and gets to enjoy gender euphoria for the first time in his life. Happy times, happy tears, a happy croc

Dude probably nearly shits himself when he tries to speak as he is now voiced by Ryuuzaburo Fucking Ootomo (even Iva-chan is like "HOLY SHIT your voice dropped") (like they probably agressively try to encourage Crocodile to speak more and let them hear that voice and Croc is like "ssssshhhhhhhhh stop yelling you'll wake up the baby!!")

Anyway he finally gets to fucking rest and relax and enjoy the sheer relief of not just being free of his dysphoria but also his baby boy being born and looking all healthy and happy. A happy dad

(If Crocodile was the first person Iva-chan helped transition, and under these circumstances specifically. I think seeing the guy and his sheer relief would give like Iva-chan a new mission in life. To help people like Croc)

(Ivankov: "It's like a great weight has been lifted off your chest... GET IT, 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE TITS ANYMORE! HEEHAW!!" / 🐊: "If you wake up the baby I will skewer you")

Anyway if the Rev Army member stays with Crocodile for too long there's a risk of them getting found out and that'd be bad, so Iva-chan needs to GTFO (they have better things to do, like overthrow some governments and stuff). Also Crocodile needs to prepare because he can't have the Government wondering where the fuck he's been all these months much longer (god knows explaining his sudden manliness is going to be enough to deal with) and the kid needs to go into hiding. If Iva-chan asks where the child is going, Croc probably won't give a straight answer, just that there's a plan and he needs Ivankov to keep the baby a secret etc (perhaps that could be the blackmail Iva-chan brought up in Impel Down 🤔)

Crocodile gets to spend a little time with his baby boy (before and/or after Iva-chan leaves). Crocodiles (the animals) look after their babies for three months before they're on their own, so at most he stayed with his baby for three months, though I'd argue just 3 weeks, simply because that'd a painfully short amount of time that's just perfect for tragic storytelling

Perhaps that was the happiest time of Croc's life. No stupid Government to deal with, no pirates to fight, no villages to pillage. Just him and his beautiful baby boy. Not even the knowledge of knowing he'd have to say goodbye to his son forever would get in the way of his happiness at that moment.

(Did he ever think about what to name the child? Maybe Dragon had wanted Crocodile to name their child and Crocodile was supposed to think of something while expecting, before the baby was born. Or maybe, knowing he would never see that child again (until the Government blows up) he could not bring himself to think of a name. It'd be Dragon's father who'd look after the baby anyways, Dragon should name him)

Dragon comes. Either exactly at the agreed upon time, or perhaps a day early (dude was too excited and wanted to be with his wife and child, together as a family, even if it was for a day). Whenever he arrives;

See the chart earlier in the post

However things go down, Dragon and Crocodile go their separate ways. Crocodile leaves the island immidiately.

Well. I certainly became absolutely deranged writing this.

HOPE YOU FOUND THAT ENTERTAINING

[bobfloydsbabe]

DEATH THREAT: REVISITED

On November 8th 2022, an anonymous person took issue with a post I made regarding the use of read more on long fics. All I asked in that post was that people used it, and if they didn’t know how, to google it or ask someone how. Simple. It should not have been offensive, and yet, someone took offense and started a tirade against me.

The post in question was this one:

(I know it says drafts, but I did post it here)

I put it in the Top Gun Maverick tags because that's where I spent my time. Usually I wouldn't, but I was fed up with having to scroll past 5k word fics, so I wrote this post. Could I have worded it differently or been nicer? Sure. The ask that followed was this one:

In the next one, they asked me to be kind. I made many of the same points as I did above, as seen here:

This response was clearly not the one they wanted, so they turned to name calling, vile accusations, and inappropriate sexual messages. I'm going to use the read more here to 1. hide the asks I got because they're upsetting and 2. shorten this post. No one wants to scroll forever to get past this.

Some of the asks I received included but were not limited to:

That last one is in reference to a message I answered, asking what evidence they had of me being into bestiality. I also do not have twitter.

This went on for hours, and while I was initially laughing, at some point it turned. I started feeling really upset and anxious about it. I remember shaking. Then came the death threat. It caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it, and honestly, calling it a death threat might be a little extreme. Nonetheless, the threat of harm shocked me. I replied, trying to give off an air of nonchalance, when in reality, I was freaking out.

After that, I got a few more asks, upset I was calling it a death threat. I started calling it a threat of harm instead, because it felt extreme. After those asks, I turned off the option to send anonymous asks, which I had not done in all the years I’d been on Tumblr. I had to protect my mental health. I reported it to tumblr support and took a few days off the hellsite to give myself time to process.

Eventually, Tumblr got back to me, telling me they were “sorry I had a bad experience with anonymous asks” and told me to block the anons. I was furious. They dismissed not only me, but the threats I’d received. When I sent in my original ticket, I made it clear they could contact me if they needed more information. They never did. I’m still pissed about that. This was before you had to have an account to send anonymous asks, so they could still come back. I had to block five separate asks to get all of them to disappear.

Anonymous asks are currently open, but I'd be lying if I said I don't still get anxious when I see that grey icon in my inbox. I'm still scared they could come back and start up again. I'm finding it easier to turn off anon these days, and I've had to do it several times since then to protect myself further. I won't hesitate to do it again.

If you read this all the way to the end: Thank you for reading. I know this doesn't affect anyone but me, but I wanted to share this post, regardless. I want to thank the people who have been there for me through it all, and the ones who've listened to me talk about it. I appreciate you.

For now, I'm looking forward to celebrating 10 years in recovery from self-harm next week. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[muffinpink02]

hey girl, i hope you're doing well. a lot of people (including myself, im a fic writer on here too) have been getting a lot of weird messages about a fellow fic writer on here. please just ignore those anons, block them, and report them. it is such an uncomfortable situation, i know how you feel because ive had it all too. it affected me a lot too and i just blocked and reported and haven't had anything since so i think it is just like one or two people. it's not a you thing, it's a them thing. and it did fuck with my head like you said the same, how it is weird to think about how many people out there are like this reading our work we try so hard to put out. it's not normal, but i hope you choose to stay on here because i and literally hundreds of others adore your writing and you in general. i know i for one love the jokes you and that anon do back and forth. its a joy to see, it's what this app is for. obviously it is your choice at the end of the day, but i think once time goes on this situation will have been brushed over and buried. and i hope you're still here when that happens. regardless, i wish you nothing but the best in whatever you choose to do from here, both writing wise and life wise. so much love and appreciation for you. forehead smooches🙂‍↕️

Hey lovely!! Firstly thank you for reaching out ❤️ and also thank you for letting me know how you also felt with it, it made me feel less alone. I know it’s not the most horrific or crazy thing to land in an inbox but I think with the previous thing I saw that was written about me it just made me feel weird and made me question myself on here. But thank you for sharing this with me ❤️ I also hope you’re okay, and still loving writing! Haha yes! I love my little joker anon! Tbh you’ve made me feel a lot better 🫂 I do love this little fandom of ours and love the community on here, and love all the support on here. This is where kindness always beats negativity. Thank you so much!! You kind beautiful cutie pie! ❤️

Side note, I’ve got a few people in my inbox talking about the writer/situation. I’m going to leave them in my inbox and not bring anymore attention to it. I get that gist that things are messy and I don’t want to add to it.

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Hmm... I'm really curious what your answer would be. What do you think the most (endearingly) annoying thing Legacy does is? :P

Note that I say this in the most loving way possible lmao. Think how cats are menaces but we adore them. Because Legacy is adorable and cannot physically be annoying (it's law 😌✨) BUT I thought I'd ask.

Nothing is a perfectly valid answer too sksksk

DON'T WORRY ANON I HAVE THE PERFECT RESPONSE TO THIS

the answer is how much he accidentally startles you, especially if you're more jumpy (me)

yes, power is the key to success in the Abyss- but so is skill, and both Legacy and Childe learned how to be stealthy, effectively muting their footsteps against all surfaces. this, for better or worse, carries over to above ground as well... and by the Archons, the number of times you've been jumpscared by them is too many to count! Legacy's the quieter of the two as well, having natural stalking tendencies much like a cat, so you'll often be walking down the hall and turn to go back, only to find your path blocked by an affectionate Abyss monster- at least he's always super apologetic when you shriek in surprise, chittering worriedly and bumping his forehead against yours

Legacy gets better the longer he lives with you, though! he does his absolute best to try and make some small sounds as he walks behind you so you know he's there- clicking his claws together, letting out soft trills and chirps, fluttering his wings- anything so you don't get startled. he prefers walking over hardwood floors, since his boots make a tap tap tap sound as he does, and if you still get startled when he taps your shoulder, Legacy's quick to pull you into a hug and nudge his face against your cheek with a soothing purr, trying to calm your nerves

he's a spooky menace of a cryptid sometimes but you love him regardless <33

[dreamescapeswriting]

In general, I understand why you wouldn’t want minors reading smut and I agree with putting warnings out there but you just seem OBSESSED with it. Like more than any other blog I’ve ever seen. To the point it’s really off putting.

They’re going to read it regardless. I completely agree with refusing to write certain triggers or things because I’ve definitely seen some disgusting stuff out there, but I just don’t understand why you’re so worried about the age of your readers or requesters. A 13 year old could create a blog and say they’re 30 so unless you require proof of ID you really didn’t prevent anything.

It seems like just more stress on your part. I used to follow you a long time ago but like every two days you’d post about how you were blocking accounts that didn’t provide their age or have anything posted. It’s just got annoying so I unfollowed and recently came across one of your posts again and nothing has changed.

I think you’re super talented and I’ve always wanted to request something from you but it honestly gives me anxiety so I turn to other blogs that don’t make me feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I’m not a minor. I’m not comfortable doing it off of anon and I don’t want my age and info out there either, even if it’s just for you. It feels like getting a background check just to request something.

It’s your blog and you have the complete right to do whatever you want and I don’t have to follow you either. I know all of that. I also know this is going to come off as rude and I really don’t mean it that way. I guess I’m just trying to understand your thought process around it. Maybe it could open my eyes more and I could see it from your perspective and be more understanding about why you push this so much.

Hiya darling,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being honest with me, I appreciate you coming to me with this and letting me explain my side on this matter. While I understand that it can be frustrating and off-putting to see reminders about what I have on my account it's needed.

Firstly, my main concern is protecting both myself and my readers when I put those mature posts out on the internet. The internet is a tricky and very weird place, and as a content creator who deals with adult material, I have a responsibility to ensure I'm not inadvertently providing explicit content to minors. This is not only a personal ethical stance but a legal one in many places of the world. 

I understand that minors might still find ways to access adult content, not just mine but many others, despite my and many other people's efforts, and I know that it's virtually impossible to prevent it but by setting clear boundaries and rules on my account, I am doing my part to discourage that as much as humanly possible. It's true people lie about their age, but having an age in their bio or not accepting anonymous requests creates a deterrence.

My old (since I have not posted about it since) about blocking blank accounts were always about filtering out any accounts that could be seen as bots, that be porn bots or just random bots that flood Tumblr, and stopping people who solely make accounts just to steal work from hard-working authors such as myself and many others who put content out into the world for free and end up having it stolen from people. Putting those posts out was about maintaining a safe and responsible space for me and others who lurk on my account. It also helps me interact with people who respect these boundaries and understand them and why they're in place in the first place. 

In regards to the stress it might seem to cause to many others, I find that being upfront and putting these kinds of things in place reduces my stress when it comes to posting. It allows me to focus more on creating content without constantly worrying about the age of my readers. The transparency on my part (and those who abide by the "rules" - I guess) helps create a more comfortable environment for those who follow and interact with this blog. 

I understand that not everyone is comfortable sharing their account when requesting smut, which is why I offer to hide your @ whenever people send me requests. Which this has worked for people in the past and still to this day. I would never judge someone for sending me something, as I've always prided myself on keeping a safe space on my account so if for some reason you don't feel comfortable or it gives you anxiety I deeply apologise.

While not everyone feels okay with adding their age on a bio, it's important to me and many other authors on Tumblr so that I and readers all feel safe sharing content intended for those over age. It's crucial that I feel I'm not contributing to the exposure of explicit content to people underage. 

Finding a balance between the concerns I have are a challenge, I and many other authors struggle with it all the time. I realise it's not the perfect solution for everyone but this is the only way I feel comfortable. 

Some people may read adult content regardless of barriers that are set in place, and I respect that people make their own choices, my policies are a way to set a standard and communicate that I'm taking my responsibility seriously, making an effort to guide my content to the age-appropriate audience, therefore I'm morally and legally covered. 

I'm sorry if this causes you anxiety as that is never my aim in life, but please understand that it also causes me anxiety when I don't know the age of people requesting adult content. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be for a 20+-year-old to find out that her explicit writings were asked for by a minor. This is a situation I - and other authors - want to avoid at all costs, both for ethical and peace of mind reasons. Without these policies in place, I would have to consider stopping writing adult content altogether to ensure I'm not inadvertently harming anyone or breaking any laws. Without these things in place, I would have to consider stopping writing smut altogether to ensure I'm not inadvertently harming anyone. 

Thank you for taking the time to reach out. I hope I got my points across without coming across as bitchy as I don't want that to be the case. 

Kind regards,

~M

[gelataisa]

I'm not delusional, right? When I read other people's thoughts about Squalo and xanxus's ship, they say that it is not real 🫠, and if it was real , it would be one-sided, which are Squalo's feelings🥲, and it is just a relationship between Boss and his captain, who admires his ambition, but I feel that it is illogical if that is the case? There is something beautiful, but they ruin it, but if what is between them is not real, especially xanxus’s feelings for Squalo, this will not become beautiful, but rather a nightmare. Squalo’s interest is clear, but xanxus does not, and this is what makes me not sleep, and what do you think about xanxus’s feelings for Squalo? I don't want to be delusional lol.

I want something that eliminates my doubts so I can live in peace😔helppp

My dearest anon, finally I have the time to answer you. This ask has not left my mind since you sent it, im sorry it took so long.

At the same time though, I am glad it took so long cause i can answer you calmly.

Your ask really angered me. And dont get the wrong idea, none of that anger was directed at you.

There are many layers of wrong in what you reported on your ask, and i'll try to adress them properly. Under the cut cause its gonna be long (and i hope i wont bore you) - i will answer your direct question in the last point, in case you want to go straight to the point. But for real, there is much to unpack here.

We have people bashing you for a ship that you really like, to the point you think that you are delusional. And that is fucking nuts. Every ship is legit. Every single crack pair and rare pair is legit. Cause we are all losers who spend their time thinking about puppets kissing. There is no higher ground to stand on. And this applies to ships that we see no fucking point in as well. And i am not saying this as a person that loves any ship. I am the pickiest shipper ever. And i am not a good person either, there are many ships which i loathe. Yet, i have the decency not to go to the people who ship such ships. If i complain it is privately and with the right people. If i dont like a thing i block (and i have blocked people because of what they ship). Everyone has the right to see only the stuff they want. No one has the right to make others feel bad for the stuff they like.

Personally, i firmly believe that there are ships and ships. And I hope i was not too italian saying that. the point is: i think some ships are basically written in the source material. That is to say, regardless of whether you pair the people romantically or not, the dynamic is deep, complex and (especially) apparent. You dont need to add much of your own to make it work. Other ships, on the other hand, need more work to be "justified", to gain substance. They may require filling in a lot of gaps, or looking at details scattered in the story. Now, both kind of ships have their own dignity (as per point 1), we dont get to choose the things we like. Still, i believe that at the same time we allow anyone to enjoy their thing while we enjoy ours, we need to also realise that some ships have more substance in the source material than others.

I know that the first two points may seem unrelated to what you asked, but i needed them for now. ive heard many the complains you have mentioned in your ask. and they angered me particularly cause usually they are brought up by people that try bring forward their own ships, and that know to do so only by bringing "competitor" ships down. I know you have not explicitly said so, but i believe its whats going on in this case, and it makes me incredibly angry and - honestly - sad. I believe that people that do this realise their ships are not as solid as XS (or some other ship) is (back to point 2), so they bash on it to advance their own. This is what angers me. Now, what makes me sad is that while doing this they also terribly mischaracterise the characters to the point they are not themselves anymore. Indeed, what a pity

Now, about XS: most of what i think of them i have said here. And about Xanxus, as you asked... one thing is clear: people that say that he does not care about Squalo have not spared one thought for him. And if they have, I am sorry, but they have not understood a thing about him. Xanxus is a very complex character. His most apparent trait, once you read the manga, is that his actions most of the times dont reflect his thoughts. and what he thinks is masked, and very well so. he was raised with the pressure of expectations, and hardened a lot because of it. he wasnt allowed to show any weakness, or maybe it was just himself who got convinced of it. but any feeling he has, apart from his anger, he suppresses. it took him one whole arc to express his motivations (and i dont even remember how much of his past was revealed to the cast) and to show emotional weakness. it took him 10+ years to defend his family and show he cares, and even then, he still didnt admit that he accepted Tsuna as tenth. after 10 years. How could anyone expect him to show love for someone? Or that he cares for anyone? That is the only gap you need to fill in XS, a gap named "Xanxus Vongola and his multiple issues".

To conclude, my dearest anon... you are right to say that there is something beautiful. Dont let anyone ruin it for you. And especially, surround yourself with people who share your interests and dont even look at those that try to bring you down instead. You deserve better than that.

And i know im not the best one in interactions, whether it is answering asks or messages or else (thanks anxiety and constant exhaustion) but i truly am glad when people interact about xs. You are more than welcome in my inbox, or if youll ever want to add to my posts and reblogs. to build a xs community is my dream on here, i hope ill have the energy to do so

[verenahx]

Not sure if this is accepted, but I can't stand how the man has so many kids but no much interaction. How about while they are all in town Sihtric sees his daughter sneaking through town and assumes she's meeting some man while really she's trying to follow her father. Whatever you want to right in between is up to you.

This is such a great idea!! Loved this one, and yess he does not really have much interaction with his kids. So hopefully this will help with that! <3

Hope you like itt. And as alwayss request as many ffcs as you like. Thankss

Attention

Requested by: anon

Pairing: Sihtric x reader (family trope-father/daughter not romantic)

Summary: see request

Warnings?: angst, insulting words

Side note: English it's my third language so I apologize for all the grammar mistakes

. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ . • ☆ . ° .

You just wanted attention. Sihtric, one of Uhtred’s most trusted men, was your father. Yes, you did love him, like the good daughter you were, but you wanted attention from him, just for him to show you more love. You knew that he loved you and your brothers, but he wasn’t home that often.

On the other hand, you had your mother, she was lovely, but she was always taking care of your younger siblings so she didn’t really have a lot of time for you. Your family was your safe place, but it didn’t feel like a normal family at all.

Every night, you would help your mum do the dinner, and you would eat with her and with your brothers, expect for your father, who would arrive hours later home. Some days drank, and some days so tired that he would not eat anything. Regardless, you understood him. Being a warrior was hard. And having a bunch of kids was even harder.

You admired him, you just want to be like him, even if being a woman that won’t stop you. You train in secret in the forest near your house. No one has seen you yet, except for Æthelstan, who sometimes helps you train. This is a little secret between the two of you.

He once had catch you on the act, so you begged him not to tell anybody. After persuading him for hours he finally accepted. With a condition, that you would not say anything about the incident with a goat…

‘Now block the attack!’ Æthelstan yells while swinging his sword against yours.

‘Good, that was good, you blocked it easily’ he congratulates you while smiling. He was a good teacher, but sometimes he would panic a bit.

‘Well if I didn’t you would have hit me’ you answer back at him with a grin.

‘True, I would have’ he laughs while blocking your attack.

You both keep on practicing until some hours have passed and tue others may wonder where you are. You hide your sword on an old tree and change back into your normal clothes, leaving them behind along with your sword.

You walked out of the forest and headed home, but while you were making your way across the village, a hand stopped you. You stopped on your track and turned to face the person who had touched you; it was yor father, Sihtric Kjartansson.

'Dad?' you asked surprised because you did not expected to encounter him in that moment since he always used to arrive home late.

'Are you well my darling? you look a bit pale I must admit. I should take you to your mother beside.' he said while leading you back home.

Once there, you went directly to your room and closed the door right behind you. You were upset, he would only care or pay attention to you if you looked sick so he could take you to your mother. You kn ew that you could never be like him, a warrior. You just wanted your father attention, between all brothers he never had time for you.

Days went by, and you were still upset at him, but you couldn't do anything since you were the one who spent most of your time at home with your mother. Being the only girl had its good and bad sides.

But of course that you wanted this to change, and you would get it done your way. A girls way. What every father hated was to see their daughters with any man. So you would make your father believe that you were seeing a boy but in reality you would just follow him.

After making a plan for days, you finally decided to put it into action, and today would be that day.

You dressed in one of your most beautiful dresses and began to follow your father to see where he was going, after locating him in an alehouse you began with your plan. You had made a deal with a friend of yours in exchange for a piece of silver. Your friend would pretend to be the boy you were seeing and like this you would get your father's attention.

You pretended to laugh and approached your friend to make yourself noticed, and it seemed to work, your father, sihtric, had all his attention on you. Afterwards, you separated from the boy and hugged him to say goodbye, as if you had spent the entire day together.

'Bye, I'll see you tomorrow!' you say to your friend while winking at him to keep going with the play. Your friend answered you back and blew a kiss towards you, which made your father mad.

You both kept up with your plan, and it seemed it was working cause day by day he was giving you more attention. Until one day; 'my daughter, come here' he says while walking towards you with his hand on his axe.

'What are you doing with that boy? I do not like him...you are too young to get pregnant' he talks with a cold expression.

'Dad...it is not what it looks like, let me explain please!' you beg before talking again. 'This is just a plan that my friend and I made up for me to get your attention, to follow you around!. You are never at home, and it's always mum and I taking care of everyone. I just want your attention, I'm your daughter and I desserve it.' I talk while leaving my father with a confused expression on his face before he answers me.

'I'm so sorry my child...I didn't know that you were feeling like this, you know that I love and care for you as much as I do with your mother and brothers. But you are right, I haven't showed it the best way...but I promise that if you give me a chance I'll make it possible' Sihtric finally concludes.

'Gods dad! see? that wasn't so hard to say' you tease while hugging him and feeling him envolve me with his arms returning the hug.

'Can you please teach me how to fight?' you ask smiling at your father hopping that he will say yes.

'No, you are young...' he answers while rubbing his hands across his braided hair.

'Then I must come with a new plan' you answer back while leaving him with a smile on his face.

Your father did not teavh you how to fight that day or the next, but you did came with a plan, and it did work.

@sihtricfedaraaahvicius @emilyhufflepufftlk @whitedarkmoonflower @dailytlk @transfinan @lord-aldhelm @sihtricsafin @tinumiel @thalygremlinsson @sigtryggrswifey