#i believe you weird and crazy IT man
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pray tell, sam, what was that email you received from that mysterious john? and pray tell, colin, what indeed is "the real stuff"?
#i think Colin's onto something being scared of the electronics#i believe you weird and crazy IT man#and Sam did the red canary case tell you nothing?#im so excited things are getting GOOD#tmagp#the magnus protocol
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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(Some silly headcanons about Mortalitasi and Nevarran traditions that ended up leading me to Emmrich. How typical.)
We don't actually know all that much about Nevarra and their customs. World of Thedas and some of the in-game codex tells us some key points: strong royal families, a rich history of dragon hunting, an elite group of mages rumored to be heavily involved in makings of the country, and, of course, the thing that this country is most famous for - the fascination with the dead.
Our very own Nevarran companion mentions a couple of things about her home country:
And even though she doesn't seem fond of Mortalitasi practices or Nevarran customs surrounding the dead, she admits that some stories that pervade the South are greatly exaggerated:
(I feel so called out)
This makes me think that this interest in the dead is still a personal choice. I doubt that an average Nevarran is obsessed with those rituals any more than an average person from Ferelden is with theirs - those are just a part of their traditions that obviously affect their lives in unique ways, but that is all.
Now, Nevarran nobility are a different matter. They are said to start the construction of their tombs very early in life - lavishly decorated palaces with gardens, ballrooms and bathhouses. A sign of power and wealth for them, and that I can believe.
But when it comes to Mortalitasi, do they, in general, care as much? Do they take all these things, all these rituals, to extreme somehow, professional pride and all?
How much would a Mortalitasi care about their own tomb? Would Mortalitasi friends and colleagues ever promise to lead the other's ceremony depending on who dies first? "Oh, I'll totally mummify you if you're the one to go first, don't you worry, I know you think that Markus is getting sloppy".
The coffin sharing is also not unheard of (the spouses from The Flame Eternal), and I wonder if it's ever used as a grand gesture - to ask someone to be placed in the same tomb?
(And just imagine how messy this could get, the way people are. Building a tomb together only to have a falling out, what are you even supposed to do after that?)
Would it be romantic then, to tell your significant other that you don't want to ever part from them, even in death?
Beacause imagine Emmrich writing a quick letter to his friend from the Mourn Watch (Johanna, if they are still friends after all these years, or Myrna), "doing fine, on a saving the world business trip, will be back when I can; could I trouble you with a favor - a bigger coffin, installed in my tomb, not urgent, just whenever you have the time."
When the reply comes and his friend is (obviously) asking for a reason for such a sudden change, he just looks at Rook from the corner of his eye and replies with "no particular reason, just felt like it."
#emmrich volkarin#dragon age the veilguard#not enough mortalitasi lore (that i know of) well i'll just make it up myself#crazy how an interest in one old man makes you reconsider a whole faction#emmrich#dragon age#dragon age 4#i love this part honestly#when they release the info on the characters and just more info in general it'll be sooo fun too#but now i can just make stuff up without worrying too much about the lore or about a character being ooc#i can't believe i'll be making mourn watch rook after years of dreaming abt crow pc#this post is brought to you by me being free on friday night and also because i feel weird#(someone is painting something close by and the smell is getting to me)#so if this has typos - no it doesn't
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What is with the practically psychotic hate for Lance Stroll? I'm not even his fan- more indifferent- but the hate he gets is sickening. Like just see the recent 'Never have I ever' vid- so many top comments on youtube, instagram etc. are just spouting shit about him (attacking his looks, calling him window licker wtf etc.) based off the 'Never have I ever stood up someone question' (and of course they conveniently ignore all the other drivers that also said they have because it's trendy to hate on Stroll).
Of course, standing up someone sucks but first of all we have no context at all, and more importantly, it's clear the commenters don't actl give a shit about that because they're only hating on Stroll. This is literally just one instance of the way these F1 'fans' are so quick to seize any opportunity to put down Lance. Honestly, it's so off-putting, pathetic and sad.
#he's not even one of my faves but the hate in the f1 fanbase for this 25 year old is crazy#don't give me the 'his daddy bought the team!! he's so shitty!!'#he may not be the best driver but he's still a good driver#he got a podium in his rookie year for goodness sake#also one of the youngest polesitter#yes he was blessed with a rich family but god forbid a father loves his child and would do anything for him#he's usually good in the wet/mixed conditions too#but if you listened to ppl on social media you would think lance can't even walk in a straight line#im so done lol the f1 fanbase is so toxic#esp those on twitter/insta#honestly I doubt those type of 'fans' actl watch the races#they just do monkey see monkey do#and hate on a fucking mid-20s dude 💀#their lives must be incredibly sad to waste time spreading hate like that#lance stroll#f1 2024#honestly this isn't even about the never have I ever vid#it's more about the general and practically fervent hate ppl have for lance#which is so overboard#lance puts in the effort everyday but these ppl will have you believe he sits arnd throwing moneg everyday#this is the man who drove despite his hand injury last year for goodness' sake#the way some ppl talk about him will have you thinking he murdered their family#also he's just thr to drive??? idk why ppl go all up in arms to hate on everything he does from his looks to how he talks...#and in general the hate various drivers get is so weird#*money#<- too lazy to edit my tags lol
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I never even thought of the words themselves as a lie but rewatching this scene, this is the most bald-faced, least convincing lie he has told on the show. I literally have to think about what about the words are false, because all I know is that that motherfucker is lying.
I was jealous at first. And angry 😠. And that's why I said all that stupid stuff 😔.
Now that he's delivered so much as a lie that it prompted me to think on a line I previously believed before I noticed he fucking said it like that, it's making me think more on self-aware Mike.
Especially the line "I wanted you all to myself". Something about what he's going for is what Hopper thinks he is. "I was too overbearing, making out with you all the time, and I'm so sorry that my love became just too much and I couldn't help myself that I became protective and territorial" while he's taking her hands off of him while kissing and making faces when Lucas suggests getting back together.
I didn't even doubt this line. But if he knows - then yeah. The "stupid stuff" he's referring to is what she heard him saying with Lucas about being a 'different species'. Now, with his delivery like this, I'm thinking he knows damn well the real answer is "sorry, you weren't there to hear it so I went a little too hard on pretending to be straight. I was just trying to riff off of what Lucas was saying but I didn't really get it because I'm not straight and I went too far. That's on me, won't happen again," and he knew he couldn't say that.
So instead he went with "sorry, El, I just loved you too much I guess (romantically) and it came out in angry ways" (meanwhile he was initiating a burping contest).
#elmike details#byler#mike wheeler#gay mike wheeler#elmike season 3#mike knows#reworking around if this is a lie because i thought he believed himself on this one but now i don't know#maybe he knew it HAD been true but thought that NOW he really did love her and then realized at the kiss he was WRONG#idk man he just be actin weird#blank makes you crazy
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well as you can see besides being ugly as all fuck I'm also extremely bitter so that doesn't help at all in making me appealing. but it also comes with the territory you see, being treated as a hideous freak of nature for your whole life kind of does things to your psyche.
also going into shit in the tags as an extreeeemely jaded individual who's been on every side of the discourse and KNOWS it all VERY PERSONALLY so I know many people will find all sorts of different reasons to hate me (if they want ig) because I'm ~politically homeless~ at this point because I'm sick and tired of everything but whatever
(also fuck I ran out of space in the tags so another post maybe idk. )
#so. i get why people are against children transitioning i really do. and i have my own nuanced complicated feelings about it#but honestly. im beginning to believe id be more well-adjusted by now even if just a bit if i had started larping as male by 15.#would it fix all of my problems? no. but it would make a lot of things in my life much smoother and easier.#but i was sooo deep into raddie/gc shit that i had this fucking. complex about not wanting to troon because its ~cheating~#and 'omg all the butches are leaving!!1 butch flight i cant be one of them!!!1'#'i MUST be a good example for all the young girls!!!1' a weird sort of almost martyr-like complex if you will.#but as i get older im like... honestly man fuuuuccckkkkk this.#barely anybody expects straight or even bi women to abstain from dating men forever For the Good of Womankind#its not seen as Expected but rather Exceptional and Wow Amazing if you do.#and anyone who Expects it is seen as a ~crazy extremist~#meanwhile lesbians and especially HSTS are almost fucking Expected to sacrifice themselves for the ~greater good~#and ngl other lesbiams perpetuate this shit too.#oh you CANT transition even if you feel it'll make your life easier because because because#[arguments that would really only apply to OSA females transitioning]#[strawman] [misinterpreted stats] [unverified reddit posts]#and if all else fails 'think of how the very act of doing so will HURT ALL OF WOMANKIND'#no fucking wonder dysphoric lesbians develop an fucking insane martyr complex and start to treat hrt/transitioning like its fucking crack#'ill give into the temptation if i see a happy trans person ohh nooo so nobody should be allowed to troon'#like thats not fucking normal! you realize thats NOT FUCKING NORMAL right?#youre acting like a deranged christian who is so afraid of sinning by wrongthink#and disclaimer no. i dont inherently hate being female or a lesbian but with the way i am physically and mentally#i would have/have had a Much easier time integrating into society as a ~man~. just because of how i am physically and mentally.#now i wont say internalized homophobia/etc. NEVER has anything to do with transition or etc. but im gonna be real#for HSTS (which are extremely rare in the first place) thats often only a very small part of it at most.#its often more about making our lives easier and integrating better without having to completely remold our entire personalities.#thats the reality.#would we not transition if society have patriarchy/gender roles/sexism? perhaps. i wont deny that possibility.#the fact of the matter is however#that it wont be happening any time soon. so we just want our lives to be easier.#'oh but youre lying to yourself' not necessarily. i dont have a ~gender identity~ and im well aware of myself and my situation.
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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phantom of manhattan is a truly terrible book in like a thousand different ways but it is peak hilarious for being like “yeah that kid can’t be raoul’s because UMMMMM he got shot in the dick”
#it’s super racist and I think ableist and sexist but DEFINITELY RACIST#but at least it tells you why the phantom knows the kid is his beyond ‘plays piano and sings good’#his mother is an extremely famous opera singer and I don’t know if piano playing is genetic man. he could’ve gotten lessons.#but now if raoul was shot in the dick—#in the book the kid also is a mechanical genius but again: that can just be how someone is#raoul getting shot in the dick is much more definitive#ALSO ITS SO CAPITALIST ITS WEIRD#sorry found my screenshots from when I skimmed it after the audiobook to find things to send to friends#crazy book. can’t believe they didn’t keep the dick shooting for the show#not pjo#chitter chatter#lnd#love never dies#poto#what are my tags….#tea reads tag#(yes I have the scene where raoul gets shot if you want it)
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Random limlife Scott rant, GO!
I got this ask and decided that I’d give it my best shot but got so mad on my skim through some of the moments I remembered that I gave up.
#Okay im half joking#I got angry enough for me to decide that writing a post without careful consideration would probably lead to an inaccurate little ramble#I need to like. actually sit down and watch limlife and do a full overall analysis#because the context for how scott acts each season is so important. a skim just wont do#The reason I dont have notes on him to share with the class already is because when it was coming out I was pretending that—#Scott grew as a person after 3l and I wanted to believe that so badly I started making stuff up about memory erasure and limlife being—#dubiously real so that I could look the other way when scott started being weird about jimmy again#I was like yeah they barely remember it thats why scotts being uncomfortably weird about jimmy this season#not because scott doesnt think about jimmy like a person and just wants to hear him say words that make him feel better about his—#rough relationship history#not because the idea of jimmy gaining independence from him makes him feel insecure or anything#sighs. sorry im just saying things. again its been a while since ive watched it so I need to actually. Yknow. Watch it before making posts#Its just crazy how he treats it like proving a point more than actually caring#“I mightve given you the 30 minutes last week if youd said love you” he wouldnt have. he was already leaving when he said it#he’s literally just trying to get him to feel bad about not saying it#pretty sure he kills jimmy in the same episode he lets jimmy kill him. Like. He doesnt really care like that#He just likes to pretend that he does. He is going through the motions of caring#Its like he needs to believe jimmy still needs him. in like a possessive way. Its really weird man#I will say though since I see this a lot: I dont think him singling out tango in the 30 seconds scene was intentional#because if im being honest. I dont think he sees the ranchers as anything serious#He assumes tango was just putting up with jimmy bc he had to. He doesnt think tango actually cares about jimmy#in his mind no one actually cares about jimmy. because if scott struggled to care about jimmy and Scott is known for being an amazing ally#that must mean everyone else struggles to care about jimmy. If that makes sense#rant over I think. tldr limlife scott analysis postponed until I get my life together enough to be able to sit down and watch forthree hour#bree barks so fucking loud#asks
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i am like wildly overestimating how well i could defend myself with like no self defense training with or without weapons on my person but id prefer that over thinking i cant like. build up enough strength to overpower someone or be scared to go to places alone
#personal#the effect true crime and women working out primarily to lose weight and not gain strength#and this weird notion of. not weird but inflated sense of fear? in women my age makes me unhappy#like you can lift mattresses or washers and dryers or idk other heavy stuff you just have to try lifting heavy stuff#you can be strong enough to match or at least put up a decent fight with that male friend boyfriend relative#like the amount of videos i see of women being like when you realize even at ur full strength you xyz can easily over power you#which is scary i get that but it’s not some crazy inevitably if you have xx chromosomes???????????#and maybe this comes from being quote unquote a big girl my whole life#like sure i’m not 5’10 but im a good height#and i’m hefty i got weight and like ED and body issues aside#i do like that i have a heft to me and you FEEL when i push back and i feel relatively safe bc i know i got weight and strength#but idk. i just#feel like to some degree resignation#like oh even the skinny lean guy will be naturally stronger than you it’s so scary#my ex was taller than me and worked out and i could easily hold his arms down just with mine#let alone if i used my body#like i lifted him on my shoulders and i pinned him i was the stronger partner just with our natural body types#and for some chicks yeah ur 4’11 and struggle to break 100 pounds naturally yeah yeah. ur kinda cooked genetically#but for a lot of chicks it’s like no i think ur boyfriend wouldn’t over power you without any resistance if idk#you gained weight and muscle mass?#again i’m probably overly estimating what i can do#and a tiny chick who actually does self defense training will handle herself way better than me#which also is just kinda the point. like it’s not some unavoidable fate that a ‘man’ is gonna be unquestionably stronger#and even if so doesn’t mean you can’t be a better fighter or better at getting away#idk tik toks and insta reels going through a lot of gender essentialism#like i believe any person with xy chromosomes are naturally inclined to rape and murder#ohh! so close the issue is an ingrained societal issue that was learned behavior and ur spouting terf rhetoric
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Me: *talking about the older Disney Princess movies and how I'm re-watching them* Someone: Oh yeah, but man those older ones, the OG 3? They were horrible representation for wom- Me:
Me: Speak not another word, lest we get thrusted back into the good year of 2014. This is why Frozen gagged y'all, cause people had that antiquated and twisted mindset of something that doesn't exist.
#we do NOT disrespect Snow White Cindy nor Aurora in my house#silly talks#SW and Cindy were parental abuse victims who still fought back and survived in their own way#and one was fucking 14 christ all mighty#and Cindy was so freaking proactive its crazy#i love the live action disney cindy but og animated cindy was just as good#they had a slightly different focus and messages but they both executed their own stuff (and shared stuff) very well#and aurora is just existing and y'all wanna drag her man#btw I love frozen and F1 is one of my top fav disney movies#but when you watch it and remember the bs mindset people had of the older disney princess during the 2010s-ish era....#....well F1's writing is elevated a lot more!#It's playing into and subverting the twisted expectation people had of the older gens and the creators/Hans trolled y'all#I was not expecting this to happen in an irl convo I was not expecting to be thrusted back into 2014 TT0TT#(btw I say this knowing I also accidentally bought into/entertained that weird mindset for a minute....#.....i was a teen and thought the headcanon/aus of 'making childhood thing actually twisted' was fun uwu#like ed edd and eddie is actually taking place in purgatory or whatever#do I really believe it? no. did I find it interesting/entertaining to explore that idea? yea#i firmly don't believe Beauty and the Beast is stockholm syndrome.....but did I find it interesting to hear about it the first time? yeah#so yeah when I bring up F1 gagging people I look at it fondly cause I was also invested in that crowed too! ...I wasn't as antagonistic#about it as some people but I did explore those ideas cause I found them fun)#anyway off topic we did Herc and Mulan last night (probs my fav disney movies besides F1 and Lion King 2)
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thinking about this stuff just made me feel so damn old (and I'm only 32). like, when I was a teenager I couldn't just look at high quality pictures and especially not videos of any celebrity I liked. if it was music related and I was lucky (whoever it was happened to be popular enough in Germany), I might have seen a music video (and recorded it on VHS so I could watch it again). if it was an actor I could buy DVDs, at least (but that's not that easy if you're poor, and you also had to get somewhere where you could buy them in the first place).
the internet still kinda feels magical when I compare it to that.
#... whereas now I can just look at a music video in which Corey Taylor is pole dancing. any time I want!!! 15 year old me would not have#believed it#(and: I was definitely a good few years behind on what was the standard for that bc we had incredibly slow internet access until I moved#when I was 19. so yeah I literally didn't have access to any of that until I was basically 20. it's so weird to think about.)#like. I lost my fucking mind when I was able to buy a DVD with all HIM music videos on it. that was so cool to me. I watched that thing so#much. lol#also! the quality of everything was so bad compared to now. like. my TV was tiny and also shit. dvd quality is shit. you could barely see#anything! whereas now... (yes I'm thinking about Corey Taylor pole dancing again)#(and I've got an absurdly huge amount of pictures of [that stupid man that I like] just. saved on my phone. i can look at him anytime I#want. that's so fucking crazy. man I really am old.)
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thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .
#mildly joke but im so excited those specials were so fun...#we watched all the 14th dr specials bc Major donna fan ohh my god they were fun i liked them....#i worry im like. being unfair somehow. but i loved like..some of the things with 13 i just likee. the writing it was..off to me... sigh. i#rly wish her seasons had better writers i suppose. BUT. im excited bc my mom told me 15s run is super good so far#i cant believe im almost caught up wndr who. a crazy world i live in. i suppose next me and my mom will have to huddle around an old timey#radio like max n ruby to listen to the audio dramas#and then wencan read bedtime stories to eachother or something#Or of course i could just track down the old series. KDNFJFN. but the computer always its a commodity...#but ya. those were funn i rly liked the like. 2 of them had a bit of body horror like. mild babys first body horror. but i liked it. and#they were funnyyy god i missed donna so bad the show is SO funny with her there. the chemistry w her and 10nis just chefs kiss. loves it#i feel bad bc i liked the like. Suggested personalities of the last companions but they felt kind of lackluster in practice ? like..it felt#like we were told how they were but in practice they kind of just. were there. and then would react to the dr. and then were judt there#idk... i wish they had been more like. fleshed out one supposes#it rly to me feels like they spent 13s seasons kind of just farting around and then covid hit and they were like Fuck now we have to like.#avtually write a plot#flux was like. i think you can do a storyline w like. a bunch of different plotlines that all ties up but it was confusing#😭😭 it ws like. ig rhe most engaged i was w/ 13 but thats just bc stuff was being thrown at me constantly...#but ya. its rly nice to see donna again after having a bunch of companions who just didnt feel like they got their time to shine. in my eyes#bc donna feels so well written and real and like. believable to me. like it feels like shes an active member instead of like. just standing#around and then having her alloted 4 minute emotional conversation before jumping back into action. yk#also i literally said as soon as the bigeneration happens Oh rhis is good 14 can judt go be a weird uncle. ajd then he literally did#so funny tho that rose and donna get their own tennant doctors and then my best friend martha is just chopped liver ig.#good for her tho. that man needs to stay away from her (joke)#but ya. YAY. intrigued by nailpolish woman its also fun bc weve gotten to the point where my mom has only watched the episodes once#so she knows less and its more fresh for her#which is rly fun. im a little worried about umm. when were fully caught up#bc i believe my mom and dad watch the eps together#and like. yk. much love to my dad but like. idk me and my mom have a specific sort of banter when we watch and like. he sits in sometimes#and i tend to just go silent 😭😭😭#its like. not a conscious thing i just. yk. i have trouble being Relaxed when theyre in the same room together
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#going thru it NDJJDJXJJXMMXM#i was gonna write every scenario running thru my head about this man n whether or not he'll actually get back to me but HDJJXNXNXNXN#i sounded Crazy so lets not HDJJDJDJDJJXMXMXMX#i should get out of bed LMAO#personal#it hasbt even been that long. and the issue is like. so big. like he might have to get a whole new car n everything n that could take awhile#hhhhhhhhh i hate not knowing. but he did specifically ask if we could go when his car is fine and then jept saying another weekend#and i really think i should just believe him bc hes honest to a fault. and if he didnt wanna go he'd just say HZJJZJDJXJJXJZMZ#you know how many times hes told me hes not going to graduation. omg HZJJZJZKZKMZMZMZ#i never even asked BJDJDJJDJDJX#we are so weird. but like. we were relying on school and other ppl so much before to meet but now its up to us and ya BJDJXJZJJZJZZN#we xant keep bein between the lines......#*can't#im just so scared. and bc of past experience with other guys im like... preparing myself for disappointment preparing#but really its been so different this time that i dont think i can even rely on past experience JDJDSJSJSMMSMMSMS#idk#like i said. going thru it#n i do think he'd be a Fool to let me go. like i think im confident enough to say now that im a catch like BJDJJDMMSS COME ON
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once again very awesome normal 100% cis reactions from yellow over here about revealing they're a girl in front of the last person who didnt know and didnt treat them like a girl (who also happens to be their crush)
#IM TELLING YOU MAN. THEY LIKED GOING AROUND NOT BEING A GIRL AND RED WAS THE LAST PERSON (or rather. the#most important person) THEY COULD DO THAT WITH#literally why else would they have this weird obsession with not telling red they're a girl. other than idk they feel weird about ''lying''#to him and dont want to admit it or something??? like deadass yellow not wanting to be a girl is so unbelievably easy to read#from all of their gender fuckery but esp this factor. it would make so much sense that if yellow enjoyed presenting as something other#than a girl that they wouldnt want to tell red (the person they care about the most) they're a girl and would literally only reveal that#fact when ABSOLUTELY FORCED TO. and would very clearly look NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS.#like that part is text it is shown YELLOW (for SOME reason) WANTS RED TO CONTINUE BELIEVING THEY'RE A BOY#GEE. I WONDER WHAT EXPLANATION FOR THAT WOULD MAKE THE MOST SENSE#SPOILER ALERT: YELLOW IS SO FUCKING TRANSGENDER ITS CRAZY. I CANNOT GET OVER THIS#EVERYONE SUCK MY DICK KUSAKA SUCK MY DICK YOU WROTE A NONBINARY PERSON SORRY! MINE NOW!#serena.txt#pksp reread#gsc reread
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