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onemustalwaysbecarefulofbooks · 1 year ago

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Why I Dislike Rhysand, Part 1: Not a Martyr Like You Think

So. . this rant has been a long time coming. I finally came to the conclusion that it would be too much to include all in one post. There are so many different things I feel the need to touch on and include that I decided I’m going to be breaking it up. Enjoy Part 1.

I also feel the need to start off by saying that I’ve been an SJM reader for nearly ten years now. I remember when ACOTAR first came out. I remember reading ACOMAF upon its release and nearly being blown over by my intense disgust and dislike for how a story was handled. ACOMAF was released in 2016, so I’ve been holding on to a lot of this for the better part of seven years. I don’t know how many of you were a part of the ACOTAR or SJM community here on Tumblr back in those days but let me tell you. . .it was something else. The fevered Rhysand obsession and worship was WILD. The fans were CUT THROAT and had no mercy. If you even HINTED at the fact that you felt like Rhys was not All That, they came for you and they came hard. I have never been one to engage in ridiculous arguments with strangers on the internet so I kept most of my feelings to myself. It’s giving me immense satisfaction and validation to see so many people begin to express things that are so like minded with how I feel. Keep fighting the good fight!

SO! We’re going to dive deep with this and go back to before the series chronologically even started.

A huge part of why I so strongly dislike Rhysand is that I find it very hard to sympathize with him regarding his time UTM.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, I realize that that sentence alone is enough to cause a lot of people to click away from this in disgust immediately. I challenge those people to keep reading and to hear me out. I try and make it a point to back everything I have to say with canon facts and logical sense. One of the fatal (or perhaps not so fatal) flaws I have as a reader is that 99% of the time, I am not able to just let things go and absorb them at face value for the sake of an entertaining story. You can sell me just about anything and I’ll be able to find some enjoyment in it. . .if it makes sense. If something exists in a scenario that is contradictory or just plain illogical, I tend to fixate on it and not be able to let it go (I call this the Ravenclaw in me). Sometimes I almost resent that I’m like this because I feel like it prevents me from just having a good time with literature, but for better or worse, this is the kind of reader I am.

Unfortunately, the ACOTAR series, specifically many things that have to do with Rhys and the Inner Circle, are riddled with things like this. Now, it’s no secret to any SJM reader that Sarah J Maas is OBSESSED with Rhys and the Inner Circle. Like. . .OBSESSED. I’ve truly never seen anything like it from an author. She so plainly and clearly holds these characters on pedestals and believes them to be the best of the best. She also so plainly and clearly works very hard to try and get the readers to feel the same way. This is why I say that SJM is one of the most confusing and frustrating authors I’ve ever read about. She clearly feels this way and wants US to feel this way. So you’d think, if that was her end goal, that she would simply just write characters who really ARE the best of the best and deserve to be on pedestals. Easy, right? She has total control over the actions, thoughts, and words of these characters, every other character, the plot, the narrative, the direction of the entire story. So just. . .write them as being perfect saintly beings, as you so clearly view them as?? You have the power to do this?

But here’s where the confusing and frustrating part comes in: She doesn’t.

Instead of giving us these characters who truly ARE as virtuous and amazing and wonderful as she thinks they are, she instead gives us characters who do horrific, selfish, and highly questionable things across the span of the series and then gaslights her readers by continuing to hold these characters on pedestals and laud them as being The Best In Every Way. . .while their atrocious deeds are sitting RIGHT THERE on the page being completely ignored in every way. It’s one of the most unaware and bizarre things I’ve ever witnessed from an author and honestly, from a group of readers. The amount of people who just blindly accept anything SJM says as Gospel is wild to me. I really don’t understand how people just swallow this stuff and can’t see it for what it is. Open your mind to just an ounce of critical thinking and I really do believe you’ll begin to see things in a new way.

So. . .my point in all that being: SJM clearly wanted us to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys from his ordeal with Amarantha and his time UTM. The scene is set perfectly! Valiant and selfless Rhysand volunteers himself to play Amarantha’s whore in order to keep her attention from the city and the people Rhys loves so much. He lives for 50 years having to “service” a psychotic evil woman who actively tries to bring destruction to his entire country. Horrible, right??? Unthinkable. What he went through!!! What he had to do!!! No one has a selfless heart like he does!!!!

The only problem is. . .this entire scenario has a million holes in it. Let’s explore some of them.

So, when Amarantha returns to Prythian, Rhys heads to her little party without any backup from the IC. He plans to kill Amarantha himself but of course, she tricks all the High Lords and captures their power before this can happen.

Sidenote: This is another thing I can’t stand about Rhysand’s power: We are told over and over and over that he is THE MOST powerful High Lord not just of the seven current High Lords, but in all of Prythian’s HISTORY. In the High Lord’s meeting during ACOWAR (top contender for my least favorite scene of the entire series), Feyre says:

The others, who had been watching with disdain and amusement and boredom, now turned to my mate. Now possessed a shadow of fear in their eyes as they realized who and what, exactly, sat amongst them.

Brethren, and yet not. Tamlin was a High Lord, as powerful as any of them.

Except for the ones at my side. Rhys was as different from them as humans were to Fae.

Okay, first of all:

Second of all. . .once again, we are faced with SJM’s convenient Whatever-I-Need-To-Happen-Will-Happen story telling. She claims that Rhys is as different from all the other High Lords as humans are to fae. And despite this, he still gets tricked and overtaken by Amarantha, the exact same as all the rest of them. His powers were ripped away by that spell just the same as all the others. Being the so-called “Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s History” didn’t mean anything in that situation. He’s the mOSt POwerfUL HiGH LOrd iN HiSTORy, but was able to be totally overtaken by Amarantha just like everyone else. Looks like that title really should have gone to HER!

Anyway. . .as Rhys feels his powers being ripped away, we are told that in desperation, he “threw the shield around Velaris”, binding it to my friends so that they had to remain or risk that protection collapsing and used the last dregs to tell them mind to mind what was happening and to stay away”.

What a noble sacrifice right??

INCONSISTENCY ALERT: There were ALREADY spells and protections hiding Velaris and there had been for years!!!!!!

The first time I read Rhys’s explanation of this, I was super confused. SJM tells it like he was the one who created Velaris’s shield and protection right there in this moment. That this act was the only thing that kept it hidden and safe from Amarantha. But like. . .this is not the case!!!!

Don’t believe me??

“Did you even think for one moment,” I said, my voice like gravel, “to extend that luck to anywhere else? Anyone else?”

“Other cities,” he said calmly, “are known to the world. Velaris has remained secret beyond the borders of these lands for millenia. Amarantha did not touch it because she did not know it existed. None of her beasts did. No one in the other courts knows of its existence, either.”

“How?”

“Spells and wards and my ruthless, ruthless ancestors, who were willing to do anything to preserve a piece of goodness in our wretched world.”

(ACOMAF, page 144)

The Velaris Wiki page states:

To preserve it, an ancient High Lord kept Velaris a secret, and so did his descendants. There are many spells on the city itself—laid by him, and his heirs, that make those who trade here unable to say anything about the city and possess the skill to convincingly lie in order to keep the origin of their goods and ships, hidden from the rest of the world. Rumor has it that an ancient High Lord doused his blood upon the stones and river to keep that spell eternal.

And then in ACOMAF, we get:

“I used the remainder of my power to shield them all from sight and sound. I had only enough for one city--one place. I chose the one that had been hidden from history already. I chose, and now must live with the consequences of knowing there were more left outside who suffered. But for those here. . .anyone flying or traveling near Velaris would see nothing but barren rock, and if they tried to walk through it, they’d find themselves suddenly deciding otherwise. And because my powers were focused on shielding them all, Feyre, I had very little to use against Amarantha.”

So, which is it?? Did your ancestors shield and protect Velaris or did you??

Do you see the contradictory writing here?

Again, in ACOMAF:

“You are safe here, and safe anywhere in this city, for that matter. Velaris’s walls are well protected and have not been breached in 5,000 years.”

According to what Sarah J Maas herself has written, the city of Velaris already had extensive wards and protection on it for millennia. The city had been a safe haven from the rest of the world and a complete secret for 5,000 years. So I was very confused as to why it was being made out to be that Rhys made this Grand Ultimate Sacrifice to shield the city and its inhabitants from Amarantha, when this was already the case before this. She wouldn't have touched it because she didn’t know about it. . .words from Rhys’s own mouth!!!!

I’m sure in Sarah’s mind, she just needed to make a way for the IC to not come after Rhys and try and help him, so this is what she came up with. Regardless. . .Velaris already had protection on it that did not rely on Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Amren. You’re saying that with the last shreds of his power, Rhysand undid centuries old ancient blood protection of his ancestors, created an entirely NEW foolproof protection plan, and bound it to the Inner Circle??

I’d also like to point out that Kallias, High Lord of Winter, did essentially the same thing with Viviane and the Winter Court.

And in those last moments, when his power was ripped from him by that spell. . .Kallias had flung out the remnants to warn her. To tell Viviane he loved her. And then he begged her to protect their people.

So she had.

As Mor and my friends had protected Velaris, Viviane had veiled and guarded the small city under her watch, offering safe harbor to those who made it.

(ACOWAR, pages 410-411)

These situations are exact parallels of each other. Kallias and Rhysand couldn’t protect their entire courts, but they were able to throw shields and protections around the one city where their loved ones were. The Winter Court was ravaged by Amarantha’s troops, we know this from the story. But evidently, this one city where Viviane was remained protected. And in this situation, I have infinitely more respect for Kallias than I do for Rhysand.

Rhysand claimed he became Amarantha’s whore in order to keep enemies from looking too closely at who he really was and who he loved. He serviced her in bed and committed atrocious deeds in her name for 50 years. All this, he claimed, to protect Velaris and his loved ones.

So please explain to me how Kallias was able to do the same thing. . .WITHOUT doing Amarantha’s dirty work.

As I said, I know fully well that the Winter Court in general was not spared by Amarantha. We all read about the children who had their minds wiped (conveniently by some OTHER daemati who we never learn about or hear about ever again). It sounds like Amarantha tried her hardest to destroy the Court in general. But remember. . .the Night Court is not exclusively Velaris. If you look at the map of Prythian, the Night Court is huge! It’s the largest of all the Courts. We have no idea what happened to the rest of the Night Court that was outside of Velaris’s protection. Since it’s such a big deal that Velaris is such a whole, untouched city, I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that it probably wasn’t spared any more than the rest of Prythian was. So it stands to reason that both the Night Court and the Winter Court had one city that remained protected while the rest of their Court was destroyed.

Even further than that. . .it is specifically stated that Viviane offered shelter and protection to anyone who made it to that protected city where she was. Kallias begged her to protect their people and she did. It was a city of safe haven for any refugees who could make it there. (Viviane was Prythian’s first High Lady and that’s the tea).

Rhysand KNEW what was happening all throughout Prythian during this time. . .he helped partake in it!!! Did he think to offer the same protection for innocent refugees in Velaris during this time??

We all know the answer.

I’m not saying that Rhys was obligated to do this. In a horrible situation like that, I’m sure many people would enter survival mode and adapt an “every man for himself” mindset. It’s an extremely Slytherin move to make, and I don’t really mean that in a bad way. But at the end of the day, Rhysand prioritized his friend group over every innocent citizen of Prythian.

Kallias and Viviane didn’t do that.

Again, I don’t entirely blame Rhysand for this!! I think a lot of people would have made the same decision!! But just. . .don’t ask me to act like Rhys’s decision was some grand ultimate sacrifice that was more than any other High Lord made. It’s not. SJM, if you want Rhys to be my fave, why are you putting characters in here like K and V who do the more noble and honorable thing??

Kallias didn’t have mind powers where he was able to erase the knowledge of Viviane from every one UTM who knew about her as Rhys did with the Inner Circle. There weren’t already extensive, centuries-old shields and protection guarding the city that she was in. And despite this, he STILL asked her to protect their people, and she kept the city open for refugees who could make it there. AND he remained true to his cause and didn’t do Amarantha’s dirty work for her to “keep people from looking too closely”.

And yet Feyre and everyone else tell us constantly that “no one sacrificed as much” as Rhys. Yeah, no. My respect for Kallias and Viviane is 10000000x greater than Rhysand. Sorry, not sorry.

And this leads me to my next point.

One of the biggest issues I have with Rhys’s time UTM in general, is that his actions are treated by the narrative and the other characters as the MOST sacrificial out of all the High Lords.

As I’ve expressed above, I do not buy this for one second. And I actually find it pretty insulting on behalf of all the other High Lords!!

Rhysand’s choices and actions were entirely self-serving. He did nothing to fight against Amarantha or protect citizens of Prythian in general. It was entirely about his city and his friends. Again, I’m not saying I condemn him for this! It was a horrible situation and this was what he chose to do. People do crazy things for the people they love. But that’s my point. . .it was a CHOICE. He CHOSE to “service” Amarantha. He CHOSE to do her dirty work and commit atrocious deeds in her name. And every choice he made protected no one but the people who were important to HIM. So I’m just not really sure how/why I’m expected to feel the greatest amount of sympathy for HIM, over the other High Lords, many of whom stayed in open rebellion and never aided Amarantha. How easy would it have been for any of the other High Lords to attempt the same thing he did, and pretend to sympathize with Amarantha? Maybe not “servicing” her as Rhys did, but pretending to deflect to her side, doing dirty work for her, in order to attempt to spare their Courts and THEIR loved ones??? Did anyone else do this??? NO.

Rhys says he bows for no one but that isn’t true. He bowed for Amarantha. The other High Lords did not.

The High Lords of Summer, Day, and Winter lost their lives by refusing to submit to Amarantha. (ACOTAR, page 284).

And I’m supposed to have the greatest amount of sympathy for Rhysand??

People talk about how horrible it was for Rhys during those 50 years Under the Mountain. I’m not here to say his life was pleasant. But what I AM here to say is that in comparison to what the other High Lords’ lives were like. . .I find it hard to have MORE sympathy for him than the others.

“If that was what she wanted, then that was what she would get. I made her beg, and scream, and used my lingering powers to make it so good for her that she wanted more. Craved more.”

“For fifty years--whenever I was inside her, I’d think about killing her. She had no idea. None. Because I was so good at my job that she thought I enjoyed it too. So she began to trust me--more than the others. Especially when I proved what I could do to her enemies.”

Rhys is “so good at his job” of killing Amarantha’s enemies (and one assumes that Amarantha’s enemies are, you know, PEOPLE FIGHTING FOR PRYTHIAN AND AGAINST HER OPPRESSION) and so thorough in their sexual acts, that Amarantha begins to trust him. He is allowed certain freedoms that no one else has. He is not trapped for 50 straight years Under the Mountain. In ACOTAR alone, we see him visit the Spring Court three different times. Do you think any of those other High Lords saw daylight even once during those 50 years??

He is clearly allowed to move about as he wants to Under the Mountain. He visits Feyre in her cell several times, seemingly without Amarantha knowing. She is a prisoner of Amarantha, but he’s allowed to do whatever he wants to and with her.

Essentially. . .Rhys lived as a member of Amarantha’s court UTM. He served as her fuck buddy and one of her main attack dogs. To our knowledge he wasn’t tortured, starved, or forced to watch, powerless, as someone or something he loved was dangled over him. High Lords were losing their lives living in open rebellion against Amarantha, while Rhys lived with a level of security that no one else had. I am NOT saying that servicing Amarantha was pleasant for him, obviously it wasn’t. But at the end of the day. . .this was a choice he made. Everyone makes choices and has consequences of those choices. Rhys chose to serve Amarantha in bed and was given a position of power and security that no one else had. The other High Lords chose to openly oppose and resist her and subsequently had to suffer and live in terror with none of the freedom or choices Rhys was given. I honestly fail to see how Rhys’s decision was more valiant than all the rest.

Again, this is NOT me trying to say that Rhys did not suffer at all UTM. I completely acknowledge that he suffered his own type of torment. I just get very sick and tired of him being treated as if he is the Greatest, Most Suffering, and Only Martyr in all of Prythian.

I often say that Sarah writes all of these characters and this entire story in a way that elevates and favors Rhysand, even if in doing so she has people saying and doing things that make absolutely no logical sense. Everything that happens after UTM is a prime example of this.

The fact that the other Courts and High Lords are so quick to trust Rhysand and work so closely with him after the events of UTM is downright ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense. All of them have EVERY reason to be extremely mistrustful, if not openly hostile to him, after what they witnessed for 50 years. I myself do not understand most of his actions during ACOTAR. Let’s dive into all of THAT.

I made a post separately on this, but I’ll still comment on it here. Rhys claims that he “thought” about killing Amarantha the entire time he worked for her. However, he claims:

“I couldn’t use my powers to harm her, and she had shielded herself against physical attacks”.

There’s nothing I hate more than contrived convenient story-telling. To me, this is on the same level as Feyre not being able to have a C-section in ACOSF. We need it to be true, so we’re just going to say it’s true. . .no matter how little sense it makes in this context.

Rhys says that he, the most powerful High Lord ever born, had his power ripped away by Amarantha. On page 520 of ACOMAF he says, “Within a few seconds, my power belonged wholly to Amarantha”.

But does it??? Let’s take a look at all the things Rhys is able to do with his power during his time under Amarantha, without her knowledge or consent:

Uses it to enhance the sexual experience between him and Amarantha, making her beg and scream, and crave him (ACOMAF, page 520)

Broke into the minds of the three fae who cornered Feyre on Calanmai, reshaped their lives, their histories, and then made them confess to Amarantha that they were rebels (ACOMAF, page 523)

“Against my violation, my body straightened, every muscle going taut, my bones straining. Magic, but deeper than that. Power that seized everything inside me and took control: even my blood flowed where he willed it.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

“I couldn’t move. An invisible, talon-tipped hand scraped against my mind. And I knew--one push, one swipe of those mental claws, and who I was would cease to exist.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

Broke into Clare Beddor’s mind when she was captured and took away her pain, told her to scream when she was expected to, then finally slipped into her mind and ended her life (ACOMAF, page 524)

Visits Feyre in her cell UTM and heals her shattered arm completely (where was this power to save her from a C-Section???)

Mentally controls and commands the guards to stay out of Feyre’s cell and not touch her. “If you do, you’re to take your own daggers and gut yourselves. Understood?” Dazed, numb nods, then they blinked and straightened. I hid my trembling. Glamour, mind control--whatever it was he had done, it worked. They beckoned--but didn’t dare touch me. (ACOTAR, page 344)

Enters Feyre’s mind to influence and help her during her second task

Convenient storytelling at its finest. He may not have total control over the full extent of his power, but it is abundantly clear that he definitely has control of some of it! And yet we’re told that Rhys is completely unable to do anything to harm or kill Amarantha, because she holds all his power!! It belonged “wholly to her” as he said! But he’s able to do all of this stuff without her knowledge???

Forget killing her with his power!!! Lysandra killed Arobynn Hamel by slitting his throat in the middle of the night! I’m sorry, I do not find it believable that the Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s HISTORY was completely unable to find a way to end this bitch’s life in 50 years, ESPECIALLY when it’s explicitly stated that she allows him certain freedoms and he does things without her knowledge. I just don’t!!!!

So if I’M thinking that. . .what do you think the rest of the people UTM were thinking??? Can you see how they might be very suspicious of him??

In addition to this. . .his actions regarding Tamlin, and eventually Feyre, make zero logical sense in the context of their situation. Let’s take a look at THAT mess.

So Rhysand is suffering in this horrible awful torment, having to play Amarantha’s whore and do evil things for her. He hates every minute of it, he grows to hate himself, he claims.

And in this giant mess, there is only ONE road to freedom for not just him, but for everyone. And that’s Tamlin.

“Then she cursed Tamlin. And my other great enemy became the one loophole that might free us all.”

Rhys knows about the curse. He knows the stipulations and what Tamlin must accomplish. He knows that doing so will free them all.

Wouldn't you then think that he would do everything in his power to attempt to aid and assist Tamlin during the course of those 50 years?????

I know he hates Tamlin by that point anyway, due to the rivalry between their families. But, my God. . .would that really matter at this point?? If me and my entire country were stuck in the position Prythian was in, I don’t really think I’d give a shit who our freedom depended on. It could be my greatest mortal enemy and I’m pretty sure I’d still be like Okay Buddy, let’s do this. I wouldn't say I’d LIKE it. But I’d use whoever I could to get me and everyone else out of that situation.

If Rhysand, the Inner Circle, Velaris, and every other High Fae in Prythian’s lives and futures depended on Tamlin getting a human girl to fall in love with him, I would think Rhysand would be doing whatever he possibly could to further this along and make it happen. Don’t try and say that he couldn’t do it because Amarantha would find out. Rhys WAS able to keep secrets from her and do things she didn’t know about (see my big list up there! ^^) Don’t try and say that he wouldn't risk dropping his Bad Guy Mask because it would make people look “too closely” at him and possibly target Velaris and the IC (I would have a million comebacks to that. As I’ve already said, there were ALREADY extensive shields and protections guarding Velaris and had been for years. Rhys had wiped the knowledge of the IC from the minds of everyone who knew about them. And wouldn't the safer, better option for the IC be that the curse was broken??? So if he really wanted to protect them, this was the #1 thing he should be doing!!!!)

When it became clear to us all in ACOMAF that Rhys was not in fact, really a bad guy, the very first thing I immediately wondered was, “If this were the case, why was he not trying to HELP Tamlin all those years???” If that was their one loophole and their one shot at freedom and ending the nightmare they were in, why on EARTH did Rhys spend 50 years bullying, manipulating, and tormenting the ONE PERSON who had a shot at freeing them??!?!?!?

Rhys tells Feyre in Chapter 54 of ACOMAF:

“I didn’t know. That you were with Tamlin. That you were staying at the Spring Court. Amarantha sent me that day after the Summer Solstice because I’d been so successful on Calanmai. I was prepared to mock him, maybe pick a fight.”

Again, do not tell me that Rhys was a slave to Amarantha so there wasn’t anything he could do. That is NONSENSE. After Calanmai he crafts an entire fabricated story to tell her and brings people he’s mind manipulated into validating what he’s saying.

Instead of offering Tamlin support, or at the very least, leaving him alone, he chooses to terrorize him and his people. He leaves severed heads on the manor house grounds, taunts Tamlin about the curse, and taunts Lucien about his mother and his dead lover. Listen to what he says to Tamlin and Lucien, before he knows Feyre is there:

“What a pity that you must endure the brunt of it, Tamlin--and an even greater pity that you’re so resigned to your fate. You might be stubborn, but this is pathetic.”

“Little Lucien. You certainly gave them something to talk about when you switched to Spring. Such a sad thing, to see your lovely mother in perpetual mourning over losing you.”

“She’s already preparing for you. Given your current state, I think I can safely report that you’ve already been broken and will reconsider her offer.”

This is flat out disgusting behavior. This is the man you want me to have sympathy for, to view as the “better man”. Tamlin and Lucien were even greater victims at this point than Rhys was himself. They were running out of time after desperately fighting a losing battle, with the entire weight of Prythian on their shoulders. Rhys’s actions do not make sense. He is digging his own grave by behaving this way. If he wanted himself and everyone to be free so badly, I’m really not sure why he’s going out of his way to mock Tamlin, make his life difficult, and taunt him about not breaking the curse.

But things don’t stop there! They get even MORE illogical when Feyre enters the picture!!

So once Rhys discovers Feyre’s presence, he immediately picks up on the emotional connection between her and Tamlin. In this situation, I would expect his first reaction to be glee. He didn’t know who Feyre was at that point, other than a girl he’d been dreaming about (and he later reveals that he first believed these dreams meant that she would be the one to save them all). Did anyone really expect Tamlin to break that curse?? Did anyone really expect him to find a human girl with hate in her heart for the Fae and have her fall in love with him?? I don’t think for a minute Amarantha actually believed there was even the slightest chance of this happening, just like she didn’t really believe Feyre had any chance of winning all three of her trials. It’s a mind game, nothing more. But here Tamlin is, on the very brink of meeting the very specific standards set by Amarantha.

But what does Rhys do? Amp up the dramatics to scare Tamlin into sending Feyre back across the wall, therefore ensuring that the curse will never be broken.

His reasoning, he tells us in ACOMAF, is:

“I made Tamlin beg--as Amarantha had made me beg, to show him how powerless he was to save you. And I prayed my performance was enough to get him to send you away. Back to the human realm, away from Amarantha. Because she was going to find you. If you broke that curse, she was going to find you and kill you.”

Um. . .if Feyre breaks the curse, that means that Tamlin gets his powers back. If Tamlin gets his powers back, Amarantha is dead. If Tamlin didn’t do it, certainly one of the other High Lords would have. If you’ll recall, Feyre DOES break the curse and when that happens, Amarantha is dead in literally seconds. Her power isn’t brute strength, it’s trickery. She is no match for Tamlin whatsoever. She literally backs away in fear and pleads for her life. It’s not even a close competition!!! She doesn’t get a single scratch on him!

Now, I will fully admit. . .this was also something I always found kind of dumb on Tamlin’s part as well. It’s seen as this grand act of love that he sends her away and puts her safety before all of Prythian’s but I’ve always been like. . .dude. You were literally A DAY away from getting out of this thing. Tamlin, as a High Lord with his full power returned, really couldn’t shield and protect Feyre in the time it would take him to kill Amarantha? Yes, he wouldn't be able to properly protect her under their current circumstances without any of his real power, but that was the whole point of the curse. . .if Feyre told Tamlin she loved him and meant it, his power would be returned. The way in which he would be able to protect her would not be the same. You’d think at the point they were at, both Tamlin AND Rhysand would be bouncing around like the singing candlestick and clock from Beauty and the Beast trying to woo a confession out of Feyre. Kallias was able to shield Viviane for 50 years while his Court was under direct attack, I have to believe Tamlin could shield Feyre for the very short time it would take him, or any other High Lord, to end Amarantha.

Rhys later says:

“If there was a shot of freeing us from Amarantha, you were it. I thought. . .I thought the Cauldron had been sending me these dreams to tell me that you would be the one to save us. Save my people.”

So. . .if this were the case, wouldn't it make more sense to just get a happy little “I love you” out of her before the 50 years were up? Tamlin and the High Lord’s powers would return and Amarantha would be “bloody ribbons”, as SJM likes to say, in seconds. Which is exactly what happened. All the struggle and strife of her trials UTM totally avoided!!

What I’m essentially trying to say here is that most of Rhys’s actions during this time were in direct contradiction to what he claimed he really wanted. If Tamlin was Prythian’s only shot at freedom for all those years, you’d think he would be trying to secretly aid him in some way, or at the very least, not go out of his way to torment him. If Feyre was in Tamlin’s house, clearly in love with him, and the Curse was expiring in one day, you’d think he’d go back to Amarantha and be like “Nope, sorry, nothing to report” and pray the two of them would get it together for the sake of Prythian.

Essentially, what I’m trying to say here is that I struggle to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys during this time because I feel as if the explanations that are given for his behavior and actions are flimsy and don’t hold up against most arguments. He felt as if he HAD to become Amarantha’s lover and lapdog in order to keep her from figuring things out about his friends and trying to hurt them. . .who were concealed in a city that hadn’t been breached for 5,000 years and the knowledge of them had been wiped from every person who knew them UTM. He “couldn’t” kill or hurt Amarantha because his power belonged “wholly” to her. . .but he was able to use his powers in ways that worked against her without her knowledge or consent about tons of other things. He was so tormented and miserable in his time UTM that he. . .mocked and tormented the one person who had a shot at freeing them all. When he saw that Tamlin was right on the brink of actually breaking the curse he. . .manipulated him into ensuring that it would never be broken. All the while being surrounded by other leaders who did not have the luxury of shielding their loved ones in an anciently protected city, who worked to help all innocent citizens of Prythian, and who were losing their lives over their refusal to submit to an evil tyrant. I have a vastly larger degree of sympathy and respect for these other High Lords than I do with Rhysand. I find Rhys to be either very self-serving, or doing things that seem to directly contradict what he claims he wants. I do not blame any of the High Lords for being wary and mistrustful of him after UTM--it makes perfect sense that they would (but that’s a topic for another section of this rant!). This is a prime example of SJM self-sacrificing through her writing. I can guarantee you I wouldn't feel as strongly about this as I do after hearing it beaten into my head over and over what a noble, selfless, honorable hero Rhys was during this time. I’m sorry, it doesn’t add up to me. Too many holes, too many contradictions. Which, unfortunately, is pretty standard fare when it comes to Rhys.

Remember, this was only Part 1!! Part 2--Why Rhys is actually a terrible High Lord--coming soon!

#acotar critical #sjm critical #anti rhysand #tamlin #kallias #viviane #amarantha

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arcnlumi · 5 months ago

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The Double’s Producer’s After Show Post

The Double’s divisive producer posted a really nice long post today about The Double today so I translated it so I can share with you.

The show just ended, and I didn't have time to watch it, or perhaps it’s because I was afraid the comments [on the episode] would cause sadness, so I deliberately avoided it. This song is over, and I have reconciled with myself. There have been countless times when I have questioned whether I am suitable for this industry, whether I have talent, and even looked down on the refreshing drama I made myself. I wanted to switch to making some films that are recognized by people for its highbrows value. Even if the platform wants me to write a refreshing drama, I insist on adding all kinds of "extra" to it, which made the shows incongruous, and I wastes many years doing that. I didn’t make anything in 2022, and I spent time thinking about a few questions.

What is the point of dramas? What is considered peak drama? What is not mainstream? Who set this awful rule?

Why do I film things? For the praise of others, or for my own expression?

Is my heart still in the right place after getting to where I am today?

And the answer is my future path - drama should touch people's hearts, should be popular with the audience, should make everyone laugh and relieve stress after being busy and stressed. It should be a safe haven, a shelter, and a healing and immersive experience.

What I need to do should be what interests me, what I excel at, and stay in the territory I command with ease. My heart remains the same, to spread Chinese culture outside, to give intangible cultural heritage a chance to be reborn, and to let the world immerse in Chinese fairy tales. Yes, you read it right, Chinese fairy tales.

Here I want to apologize to myself. I should have respected my heart and keep walking my way, instead of seeking fame and reputation to gain recognition from a certain circle. In fact, I should have let go a long time ago on whether I can rise from the mud, and instead do what I enjoy, as long as my work can resonate with some people, it’s good enough. How can you expect everyone to understand you in this life? The reason why drama is moving is because you are watching it from a God's perspective. If you ask me if Xue Fangfei's story is possible? I would say I think it is possible. Because the only constant in life is change.

This drama does not aim to be famous for generations, nor does it look to gain the unexpected praises it got. It just wants to comfort you and me in adversity, so that we can find temporary relieve and have some courage to move forward.

That's enough.

#the double #墨雨云间 #cdrama #wu jinyan #wang xingyue

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harmonic-melodii · 4 months ago

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Writerly Questionnaire

Thanks, @davycoquette, It's time for me to drop some more lore about myself! My answers will most likely end up longwinded. And here's a link to the original post too for the questions if you'd like to fill them out yourself! Link

About You

When did you start writing?

I started writing around 2016, so when I was about 12 years old. I was already an avid reader and devoured every single book I came across. Back then my stories were much more fantastical, but the passion never died.

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

I will never write Historical Fiction despite it being one of my favorite genres to read. Books that delve into alternative history or simple romance stories that take place around historic events have always held a special place in my heart. Why will I never write in that genre? Because I'm not built for the research that goes into creating those settings.

I also enjoy the occasional romance novel, though I don't write romance-specific stories. The lightheartedness is a much-needed break from the gritty stories and concepts I write. At most I include romantic subplots in some things, but I don't like focusing on romance as a plot.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Not for my fantasy works. For sci-fi, I would like to emulate Ray Bradbury. I've always loved his books and short stories. And how he wrote about the human condition and its interactions with technology for better and worse. Though I cannot say I have written anything as profound yet.

As for poetry, I'm heavily inspired by many African-American poets like Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou. As a young black woman myself, I hold a lot of respect for similar artists in my discipline that came before me. And while my poems are inspired by my experiences and struggles with race, I believe they can bridge gaps of understanding.

Overall, I have never been compared to any authors.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

My writing spaces are as chaotic and fluid as me. Sometimes I will be sitting at my desk with a water bottle and typing on my computer. Other times I'll lie in bed at 2 am typing furiously into my notes app. Hell, I have a tiny spiral notebook that's a bunch of index cards with entire plots and character profiles. I write wherever and whenever I can.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Music. I create countless playlists, some of which I'll share soon. I probably have over 70 total. Not all for my WIP or other characters that exist, but all of them are for writing in some form or another. Otherwise, I try to regularly consume new media. That is a lot harder because it takes so much energy for me to engage with new content, but when it works it works.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Not necessarily. Very little of my inspiration comes from the beach town I grew up in. Rather I'm influenced by places where I've endured insane life trauma. Don't worry, there's no trauma dumping here. I want to write about those places because it allows me to visit them again safely and on my own terms.

As for people, yes a handful of my characters are inspired by people I've met. Some are not the best. But hey, it makes for decent inspiration.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

I feel like I always gravitate towards writing about religion in some form or another. I was raised Christian myself and currently identify as Agonistic. I like deconstructing faith and what it means to believe in something greater than yourself. So it doesn't entirely surprise me that I circle back to religion in one way or another.

I also write a lot about family dynamics and the platonic love or lack thereof within those dynamics. And about the limits of love and what is considered "too much".

Your Characters

Me? Talking about the lesbians in my novel?? Yep!

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Hands down my favorite character in the cast is Aaliyah. She's the main protagonist. An optimistic college freshman, who has an intense thirst for knowledge. She was raised by her father, Ezra, all on his own. Ever since she could remember it's only been the two of them. She's funny, sweet, but very sheltered at the end of the day.

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

I think I'd be decent friends with Graham. She's a guitarist in a rock band. A little rough around the edges, but I'd love to hear the music she plays.

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

It'd probably be Ezra. He's a strict man and quite judgmental of people. If anything he'd dislike me first and I'd simply have to fire back on principle.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

In general, all of my characters start as an idea or concept. For example: Graham came to fruition because I thought it'd be funny for the man who oversees campus safety at this small college to have a rebellious daughter. Then slowly, I add more details about who she is as a person. I ask "why?" questions all of the time. Once I have a solid idea of who they are, I connect them to other characters. Sometimes relationships come before the solid idea and they help.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

I write so many lgbtq+ and people of color. I genuinely don't think I have many cishet white characters. Because if they're not straight, then they're bisexual, lesbian, or asexual. I write a handful of trans people (Graham my darling beloved is trans). And I don't write a ton of white people because I enjoy writing things that represent me and my communities.

When it comes to this specific unnamed WIP the characters share themes of guilt, love, and rebellion. Which is what creates the perfect storm of the plot they find themselves in.

How do you picture them? (As real people you imagined, as models/actors who exist in real life, as imaginary artwork, as artwork you made or commissioned, anime style, etc.)

I use picrews to imagine what my characters look like. I don't draw and I prefer the blank canvas I get with avatar creators. It's very freeing.

Your Writing

What’s your reason for writing?

I write to share my thoughts and feelings. My opinions will be heard one way or another.

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Honestly, most comments are motivating enough. Just the idea that someone looked at my work and felt compelled to write something about it is enough for me.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Character building and writing tension. I feel both go hand in hand when you're writing scenes. The stronger the character the better potential for a tangible relationship between the two.

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Professors have complimented me on tension and character-building. I've been told I have the ability to really dig things out.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

It's fun and cool. Best hobby ever!

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Definitely. In fact, I'd probably write in obscure and weird places. Like I'd get paint and write lines of poetry on the street. Things like that. All of my writing doesn't need to be read, I just like getting it out of my head.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

As someone who has also written fanfiction, I don't care what other people enjoy. I write for myself first and foremost. Because for every single person who doesn't like my writing, I know there's at least a handful of people who love it. If I focused on what people enjoyed reading I simply wouldn't be writing my WIP novel.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag list time !

@sodaliteskull @honeybewrites @cowboybrunch @writeblragenda

+ Open tag to anyone else who wants to participate!

#writeblr #tag game #oc tag game #writing community

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notjennyfromtheblocked · 1 year ago

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Im deliberately sending this off anon so you can see that you arent being 'attacked' by 'Anne', and the fact youre even discussing it that way is ableist as fuck. Im going to start this by making it clear, I have BPD, Im also trans and you will not be knowing my AGAB. You are the asshole in this situation.

We're going to start off simple, you are not an expert on BPD, google and tiktok is full of misinformation and harmful stereotypes about Borderline pplo. BPD is not an 'abusive person' disorder, there is no such thing as a condition that makes you an abusive person. BPD does cause intense, deep emotions that can shift quickly and be hard to control; often this includes having intense feelings for people around them and being scared of losing them/them not being who you thought they were. Because this condition comes from trauma (usually from family/relationships) there are often amplified feelings around abanonment and betrayals of trust especially from ppl you thought were your friends. It is in fact common for some of our nost intense lifelong interests start bc of stupid reasons, but starting bc of a stupid reason doesnt mean the interest isn't genuine. Have you never done something bc your friend wanted you too and you ended it up loving it? Why is it any different bc it was a crush not a friend? BPD doesnt make you a manipulative person, nor does it make you gaslight ppl and seeing as 'anne' has a psychiatric degree Im sure he understands his condition better than you do.

Secondly, 'Anne' is allowed to be trans in whatever way he wants too, she doesnt have to bind, or pack, or change his appearance for anyone. I have a beard, long hair, wear any kind of clothes I want, have tits, have bulge, am hairy and wear a full face of makeup. Some of those things are part of my agab, some of them a part of my transition. And its not a single iota of your goddamn business whether youre friends or not. Gender is a performance and you get to choose the outfit and 'Anne' is deciding what she want his to look like.

Thirdly, you do not seem to understand that part of the reason you very clearly show yourself to be the asshole is the way you speak about others. Describing being an introvert as being more sophisticated or above extroverts is just ridiculous, you are not superior bc you dont go out to parties. I don't either, I find them uncomfortable and loud, but that doesnt make me sophisticated. You talk about 'Mike' as if he cannot be the arbiter of his own interests or relationship, that hes just stupid and couldnt piece it together if 'Anne' was 'faking'. You talk about 'Anne' like she's some master manipulator but you did everything that happened to yourself, you went to the GC and convinced them that something was wrong, you took a group of ppl who didnt know 'Mike' to 'Anne's' house to confront him, you made a callout post about 'Anne' on facebook, you tried to immediately go running to 'Mike' for damage control when your 'intervention' didnt work and you are the person that blasted it all over facebook and now tumblr. And now you are the one losing friends and family, and you deserve it, because the ppl you convinced to attack 'Anne' realised wtf they'd just done and how fucking horrendous that is. You have no evidence of any manipulation, or that 'Anne' is faking, or that 'Mike' isnt happy, you just presented your prejudice. 'Mike' and 'Anne' realise what youve done and they have enough proof to convince a judge or they wouldnt have gotten that restraining order. You are the person behaving manipulative here and everyone can see it except you.

I've tried writing a response to this so many times but I end up deleting it because when I try to explain myself it just sounds like I'm going in circles. There are tons of other asks I've tried answering and rewritten like seven times each before giving up. I've been writing over and over trying to explain like how while yeah technically Mike never told me word for word that he was T4T, when he told me I wasn't his type and then like two days later came out as trans it felt very, very much like he was coming out specifically to let me know that's why I wasn't his type. Or how I was trying to explain how look I know it might be controversial but the constant "main character syndrome" of extroverts just gets on my nerves and is supremely selfish in general and also the truth is you're just GOING to be more intellectual if you spend your free time actually expanding your mind instead of smoking pot and grinding against strangers and how someone like Mike who prefers the same free time activities as I do is just not going to work with someone who would rather party and get wasted than pick up a book, or how Anne is pretending to be trans and I know this because she isn't changing ANYTHING, and I was going to explain that the group chat was full of people she didn't know because it initially was a fandom ship discord from a show she doesn't watch but eventually when I started getting concerned yes it kinda became my "complain about Anne" vent place because nobody there really knew her well enough to go tell her what I was saying and it was a safe place for me to vent and explain why I thought she was abusive and cheating and they would actually listen instead of tell me to knock it off like others, and obviously OBVIOUSLY I thought her and I were close enough as friends she wouldn't mind me using her spare key which she kept under the doormat so it's not like I searched hard. I've written all of that so many times to so many different asks I can't even count and then i just end up deleting it because it feels pointless to even try because I know people will just keep sending asks so why bother so I never wrote it til just now unless I deleted it.

Im gonna be totally fully honest here I woke up and I saw the 99+ notifications in my inbox and I haven't been able to stop shaking because I'm so fucking angry because nobody is on my side, I literally scrolled hoping to find at least one person who was agreeing with me and nobody was and honestly I was so mad I couldn't even see and then I finally found a couple of nice asks and they were signed and I was so excited someone finally agreed with me and when I checked on their blogs they were all fucking terfs. All of the people who were taking my side were fucking terfs. And like I'll be honest with you I have two very close family members who are trans and honestly they've both blocked me recently and even though I tried to contact them they didn't respond and I seriously hate hate HATE terfs because they've been so cruel to my two family members. And I'm so angry. But then I found your ask and at first I was so angry and I tried to reply but I just deleted it because I was getting angry. But then I found more terfs in my ask and then even more hateful anons from non terfs.

But then I kept thinking about how conservatives will literally LITERALLY have Nazis agreeing with them and dig their hills in and in like wtaf how are you not seeing that NAZIS are agreeing with you? But literally the only people agreeing with me are terfs. And honestly that's the last shit I want, I luterally hate terfs. I'm not even exaggerating when I say this is the nicest ask that WASN'T from a terf so I've just. I dunno. I am freaking out because this did not go the way I planned. I knew some people wouldn't agree with me but I thought it would be more split, like some YTA but mostly JAH and NTA. And then when I saw the poll for a hot minute I thought maybe it might veer ESH but obviously that isn't the case. It's just like have you ever really cares about someone, really really cared about someone, and he says oh please don't hug me and pulls away, and then other people hug him so you think I better tell these other people "don't hug him, he doesn't like hugs" and then he says its fine and then starts hugging other people but not you? And you realize at no point did he ever say he didn't like hugging, he just asked you, specifically you, not to hug him? Well imagine that but with Mike, and he stopped wanting to hang out with me and told me not to touch him but whenever I'd remind Anne not to touch him he'd say it was fine and I guess when he came out as trans it was just easier to believe he didn't date cis people than he didn't want to date me. And there were times I thought man I wish I were a trans person so Mike would notice me, and then it seemed like Anne was doing just that because of COURSE it crossed my mind to pretend just for a little while, because if he just gave me a chance he'd realize that we are compatible. Honestly I'm just freaking out because I made this blog a month ago after sent the ask to the aita blog but then it didn't get answered so I started the blog to get all this off my chest. And bam suddenly I was bombarded a month later and it took me a minute to realize the aita hadn't deleted it. Honestly none of this went according to plan and nobody except people I fucking hate want to hear my side. And I dunno. I just don't know. Bur if the only people agreeing me with me all day are terfs then obviously I need to think things through.

#terfs dni #asks

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mirith · 1 year ago

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Bet.

Apologies for the messy background, but here's my lovely knitting machine! It's a Silver Reed SK10.

While writing another post, I noticed I was writing a lot about my knitting machine. So I put the words here. And added a lot more.

This is going to be a long post. I talk a lot about things I like, and I will not apologize for it. I will add a cut here so you can scroll by this more easily if you want. But! It'll be more fun if you read on! And I put photos of stuff I made at the end!

I learned to knit by hand from a book in elementary school, and I learned wrong. I have been happily hand-knitting things ever since, and consider myself a fairly knowledgeable and experience hand-knitter. I haven't steeked anything, to be fair, but my interests tend to be geared toward lace.

Which is good, because that's my default handspinning weight. Here's an example of the stuff I like to spin and knit (4 months from start to end, oof oof):

After I graduated college, I found out about flatbed knitting machines! I found one that looked cool, and drove myself a few hours to buy it. The end. Just kidding. You're not even halfway through this post. Not sorry.

I did not know how to operate a knitting machine. I just liked how this one looked (still do) and it also had a ribber! And it was $50? Something like that? Probably paid more for gas.

Anyway. Flatbed knitting machines range from "I can only do stockinette hehe" to "I am fully electronic, I'll knit lace or colorwork for you all by myself, EZ".

Mine is firmly in the former camp. No punchcard capability at all, and the ribber carriage is not even sophisticated enough to link up with the main bed carriage. Each row of ribbing requires the main bed carriage to be moved first (laying yarn across the ribber needles), then the ribber carriage (hooking the previously laid yarn down to complete the row). So knitting in the round is, yes, one pass of the main, then the ribber, then the main again, then the ribber carriage... (I actually made a lil' youtube video about this).

I cannot tell you why I wanted it, other than "new yarn thing!". At this point in my life, I was a very comfortable hand-knitter. There was no reason to acquire a large metal object that would do what I did, but "less good" (considering this machine would only ever do stockinette and hand-manipulated stitches -- but I didn't know tuck stitches existed!).

Tuck stitches look like the honeycomb pattern in the middle here, and are kind of knitting machine exclusive:

I think I actually may have wanted a circular sock machine, but those are very, very expensive, and not really in my price range. Still aren't. Very much considering adding one to my wedding registry to see if someone bites. (Would have to plan a wedding, but it would be worth it).

I figured that a flatbed machine with a ribber could knit in circles, ie, what CSMs do; but would also knit large flat things (CSMs can do small flat things, I think). And since the price meant a CSM was unrealistic without some serious saving, it was clear I would have to find a flatbed with ribber.

But working knitting machines with working ribbers are difficult to find. And expensive! I think prices were $350-500 for the full package plus shipping (expensive shipping because these are bulky and heavy and delicate instruments), and I'm sure they've only gotten worse.

I kind of live in a domestic craft desert, so there was very little hope for finding something local anyway. So when I saw a working machine with a ribber "near" me for less than $100, I was stoked. I was aware of its non-ability to pattern, but I just wanted to knit in circles.

When I got this machine, it was functional, but dirty. Oh, so dirty.

First thing I did was remove all the needles (took forever) and soak them in isopropyl alcohol (smelled terrible), and take everything apart as much as possible to scrub every reachable surface.

It was then that I re-affirmed my love for all-metal, vintage hardware. My sewing machine is a 1950s Singer and oh boy is that thing an absolute unit. This knitting machine is also an absolute unit in the best way. It was dirty, but in excellent knitting condition.

It was then that I also found this machine does not have a sponge bar. Which is really weird for a knitting machine. But also why I'll never get rid of it, I think.

It's got a metal U-shaped thing instead, to tension the needles. Sponge bars serve the same purpose, but the foam decays terribly over time. I don't think this metal thing ever needs to be replaced. I've knit quite a lot (will get to that!) on this machine and it knits beautifully still.

I think this machine predates sponge bars (??? pure speculation), because everything I've seen online about buying used machines says that you must consider the sponge bar and how to measure the sponge to buy the correct size and must immediately buy a new one and maybe even have a spare for when yours starts to get old etc etc. Never seen anything that says there's a metal tension rod like mine.

Ravelry did not believe this was the sponge bar equivalent, and asked me to please look elsewhere on the machine for the real sponge bar. They also told me this machine was not worth $50, which I kind of disagree with. Yes, it's super limited, but I love it. It will also, like my sewing machine, probably outlive me.

It's a standard gauge machine, and not a very common one (?). I think it's an earlier machine (4th oldest on this list), in terms of domestic machines, and likely was passed up in later years for models that had punchcards. There is another internet presence who has an SK10! KinoKnits did a video on hers.

There is a manual for the machine and a manual for the ribber online, and the scans aren't great, but they are very readable. Not much else though.

Okay. Infodump mostly completed.

Once I got the machine home I immediately set it up and realized I didn't quite know what I was doing.

After much trial and tribulation, I created some... things...

I optimistically cast on with my newly-learned e-wrap cast on and the included cast on wire (I have still not figured out the cast on wires, I don't think they actually work, and are simply a cruel prank)

I switched yarn (to something thinner and less elastic), in case that was the issue, and also switched to trying just i-cord to see if I could get that to work. It worked!

Switched back to the original yarn. I-cord also worked!

And back to trying fabric. Progress! But a lot of dropped stitches. I think this was very similar to attempt 1, but I just persisted and more aggressively picked up droppped stitches. This took me a very long time.

No dropped stitches! I used a weird cast on, or maybe just a really loose e-wrap?

Fabrice! I was confident enough to mark that I was using tension 7 with those (intentional!) yarn-over holes near the top.

I believe that those six attempts took me a few hours, and a lot of it was me trying to gauge whether or not yanking the carriage across was the right thing to do. I wasn't sure how much force to apply, and was deathly afraid of breaking needles, because I don't think these are standard ones and I can't get replacements.

There wasn't much to learn after this.

Oh.

Except for, you know, using the ribber.

It looks pretty similar to the main needle bed. Long metal guy with lotta needles. It's flatter, and hangs off the main bed with some sturdy arms on either side (which you can't see, sorry).

Close up:

You kind of have to wiggle it so that the needles don't smash into each other.

It does function identically to the main bed otherwise. But it's so much trickier to fix dropped stitches (or even see them!) because, as you can see, the ribber kind of covers everything. And it doesn't come off till the ribbing is done.

I've found that I need lots of weight to get the ribbing to knit off properly, which sucks if I run either carriage across without yarn accidentally. The knitting will simply yeet itself onto the floor and I will have to start over.

The cast on is kind of weird, but not terrible if you understand what it's trying to do, which I do, but will not endeavour to explain on this already horrendously long post. The Singer SR10 manual explains the cast-on process if you're interested. Or just tell me and I'll make another infodump post! Love talking about my knitting machine.

Here are some first attempts at ribbing and tubular knitting:

Allllllrighty it's project time!

I made a hat! (I made it a free Ravelry pattern btw, because the decreases are optionally worked by hand).

I made some sock tubes and hand-knit the heels and toes!

I made a bunch of ribbed cowls with my handspun!

I made scarves with more handspun!

And most recently I made a bralette:

Which turned out smaller than I planned because I do not gauge swatch properly at all, but I can wear it semi-modestly anyway.

#knitting #machine knitting #knitting machine #yarnblr #knitblr #mirith #infodump #just yeeting this info into the void

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queenofbaws · 5 months ago

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as someone who is SO GOOD at forgetting i was tagged in stuff immediately after being tagged in stuff, i thought i'd go ahead and fill this puppy out while it was fresh in my mind ;)c hehehe thanks for the tag @phenanthreneblue!!!!!!!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

156 😎 and hopefully no sign of slowing, lol. i've been writing and posting fic since aboooooout 2007 though, so. do with that as you will.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

it's. um. it's. uh. a lot. ahem. it's a lot.

(1,923,174)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currrrrrrrrently the supermassive universe and dragon age, but i'm slowly adding the remedyverse in there, and silent hill pops up from time to time!!! and in ye olden days, i wrote a LOT for kingdom hearts. i've been CONSIDERING adding horizon to the list too, but...only time will tell, hehehe ;P

4. Top five fics by kudos

the (almost)s; who ya gonna call? not these creeps.; my fav part of summer camp [not clickbait!]; lipstick stains & coffee cups; yes, no, maybe so: circle one and let me know!

5. Do you respond to comments?

i do! i figure if you took the time to read AND let me know how you felt about my work, then by golly, i'm gonna tell you how much YOU made me smile :)c i've met some pretty cool people thanks to the comment section, hehe

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

aw man, probably alone time, right? probably alone time. i'm sure there was some extremely angsty stuff in my kingdom hearts days, but lord help me i am old and i have forgotten a lot of that

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

well, the durellion affair ends with everyone getting to eat as much cheese as they want, so i think that fits the bill!!! 🧀

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah. i've been crazy lucky that, aside from the occasional (and likely unintentional) insensitive comment, people have always been super kind with my stuff <3 the deviantart days were a slightly different story, but why relive THAT time period, i ask you?????

9. Do you write smut?

nope. i'm not, like, opposed, i just don't think it would be good, and i've yet to write something where i felt it would add anything, so. nah. there are so many other things i can do to earn that m rating ;)

10. Craziest crossover?

for sure did an organization xiii/sweeney todd crossover once, in the long-long ago asldkjflsakdjf recently, though, i guess i'd have to say reading & other fun rituals was a VERY self-indulgent way for me to smash the remedyverse and supermassive universes together!!!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

eh, every time one of those "this site is scraping people's fics!" posts goes around, i end up finding my stuff, but in terms of bumping into an individual nabbing something i've written? not that i'm aware of! (i like to believe anyone reading would recognize the overabundance of adjectives and come tell me, ha!!!)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had people ask, but i've never seen a finished product, so probably not! i tend to write pretty long stuff, though, and i wouldn't wish that kind of work on anyone alsdkjflaskdjfksljfd

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have! none that are posted currently, but i've for sure co-written in the past. i'm also slowly but surely co-writing a fun little thing over here with my buds where our (totally cool and DEFINITELY not overpowered) self-inserts have fun being npcs in the federal bureau of control, so...keep your eyes peeled for that, heheheheh

14. All time favourite ship?

right now? varric tethras and f!hawke 🥺 at this point in time, i only have eyes for them

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

sigh. soft reset 😔 it's a big ol' silent hill 2 timeloop fic that i started back in 2015 i think, and as much as i WANT to finish it...i haven't felt the silent hill muse strike in a hot minute. maybe once the remake comes out.

16. What are your writing strengths?

oh, i like to flatter myself that i'm pretty solid when it comes to character voices/interactions 😉 it's why i do so many character studies, honestly - i just *clenches fist* love studying characters!!! i also think my dialogue's fun

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

how much time do you HAVE??? hehehe i feel like i flounder when it comes to straight up-and-down fluffy/shippy stuff, like if the focus of a story is, for example, some sort of romantic gesture, i'm fairly lost. i'm also HORRENDOUS when it comes to keeping things concise, and god help me, every time i have to delete a passage and kill my darlings, i am miserable, so i tend to just...not do that

also? just putting it out there because i do consider it a weakness in regards to writing: sometimes my self-esteem with posting stuff is just. MISERABLE. so i have a tendency to get anxious before, during, and after hitting the post button, just really wallowing in those good, good I'M A FRAUD feelings, lmfao. i'm working on it, though!!! i love writing so much, sometimes the irrational part of my brain just worries i'm not Doing It Right, hahahaha

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

no one's done it better than the thing (1982) and no one ever will

19. First fandom you wrote in?

proooooobably kingdom hearts??? don't quote me on that, though, it very much could've been x-men: evolution asdlkfjsalkjf (those just never saw the light of day)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

c'moooooon. the (almost)s :)

i'm gonna go ahead and tag...hmm... @love-fireflysong @jadedsunshine @unicornaffair @big-ass-magnet @mrs-theirin @theartofdreaming1 @icequeen-07 @chris-hartley and anyone - yes, i mean ANYONE - who wants to talk about their stuff ;) especially YOU!!!

#queenie rambles #queenie writes supermassive #queenie writes dragon age #im trying to be more OPEN about my MANY ANXIETIES when it comes to being a writer in hopes that will make them easier to swallow so #just know if you too share your stuff online and you get. real sweaty about it. so do i my friend. so do i. we're in this together. askdljf #THANKS FOR THE TAG PHEN!!! ^_^

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prima-materia-ttrpg · 7 months ago

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It Begins / How do I introduce over six months of development in a single post?

Salutations, I'm a gay nerd and I wanted to make a fantasy ttrpg with a setting that panders to myself and anyone else who might have my taste so here we are :)

The ttrpg in question is Prima Materia, and I've been working on it for a while and making ok progress so I figure I should probably start a devblog (that's what this is) so I can finally start sharing it rather than keeping the entire project within my own circle of friends, never seeing the light of day beyond that. Particularly because I'm finally playtesting some aspects and want to actually release it into the wild someday so people can share and play it as they please.

Ah, so you've clicked the keep reading link? OHOHO you fool I shall unleash an infodump of epic proportions onto ye!

*checks notes*

Right I should probably introduce this project in more depth and explain how I got to this point, and why I'm working on it in the first place. A chronological account should suffice.

Back in the days of yore (2020) when I was getting into ttrpgs for what would become the third time I had first gotten into them (previous times don't count), I was trying to create a setting for DND so I could become a DM for the first time, fueled by the disappointment that every other game I'd been a player in ended after about 2 sessions max. Making an entire setting is of course not recommended for first time DMs, particularly ones that ever want to play the game, but of course this did not dissuade me for I am built different [incorrectly].

I built a tidally locked planet for that campaign, filled it with lore and towns and cities and an apocalypse that happened some time in the past. All was well, and the campaign lasted about a year before the holiday season came and caused it to dissipate. Reduced to atoms. By that point I had been homebrewing creatures and items for my homebrewed setting, including new playable species and subclasses. Homebrew is like a glue trap, and brother, I'm a dead rat.

After that campaign ended the OGL scandal hit (among many other things I won't go into depth about) and I saw the need to create for myself a place where I can always and forever write fun stuff to share with others, in a system that I have control over. After all, integrating the system and the setting, building them explicitly to serve each other, would allow for much more creativity.

That setting still exists on my hard drive, and while I do import some of my original work for it into Prima Materia's setting from time to time, it is dead and shall remain dead until such a time I can completely re-write it to make sense in Prima Materia. But it's so ingrained with DNDs lore that it honestly would be more like an homage to the original campaign I had with my friends.

So, I got to work. I started, of course, with watching a million videos on the subject of making a ttrpg and not actually writing anything down. But eventually, an eternity later, I was ready. I started doing some science-adjacent worldbuilding to build the initial planet for the setting, in which the initial setting would be. I created continents that looked mildly plausible, charted out ocean gyres, wind patterns, and finally climates. This continued for a while, and I made the playable species and started figuring out where on the continents they would have evolved so I could figure out what their cultures would eventually be in the modern day after 10,000 years of history.

In short, I had worldbuilder's disease; and while I did make some decent progress on mechanics like dice rolling, some combat, skills, attributes and stats, it started coming to a head when I convinced myself that I needed to make a minimum of five conlangs in order to name seven continents (and various cities).

Enter stage left, one of my friends who thinks my project is cool but recognizes that I am not getting much done. This friend, Spinz (who I hear has their own project coming down the pipeline by the way >w>), has become my Screamer of Tasks and is reminding me of the important things to focus on to actually make the ttrpg a reality some time in this millennium. Thanks to their help, I've been able to get to the stage where I am able to inflict my project onto my friends so that I may playtest mechanics and generally have an otherwise fun time with them.

So what actually is the setting? That seems like a lot of buildup and waffling.

True! I felt it was important to explain where the project is coming from. As for the setting itself, I don't think I can do better than the introduction I already wrote for it in the PDF. So here's that.

After several hundreds of trillions of years the last known natural stars in the universe began to die, heralding the end of the stelleriferous period and the start of a new age full of the neutron cores and black holes they left behind. But the gods this universe spawned would not let their mother die so soon. They created new stars fueled by their own Prima Materia, the building block from which all other substance comes; a pure marriage between matter, energy, time, and thought through which the manipulation and creation of physics itself is possible.

The gods created massive bodies for themselves in orbit around their stars. Some fell into a deep sleep, some are content to watch as the eons of time give way to the fruits of their labor. Others still engage in grandiose projects of a more personal nature. But they all continue the work which allows for life to once again evolve in the small pockets of the universe which now continue to defy entropy, a constant stream of Prima Materia flowing from their bodies into the stars that they orbit. Some day, they too will reach the stars.

But that's old news, and there are none left alive to remember it but the gods themselves. In the world of Prima Materia, you play as a relatively normal sapient creature in a smaller corner of reality that has much smaller problems to contend with. Brigands, societal clashes, ancient ruins, dragons, and the wayward extra-universal threat to the planet. Many societies have also been able to harness certain powers of now free-floating Prima Materia through a process often known as "Alchemy." Alchemy, an involved study which requires just as much craftsmanship as it does ingenuity, has opened up an entirely new science for societies to develop in this age of the universe.

Who will you be? What legends will be written in your name?

There are several playable species in the setting, all of which have various distinct cultures. Koura, which are basically giant lobsters; Sepia, which are basically giant Cuttlefish; Humans, which are basically giant chimpanzees; Entari, which are strange bird pterodactyl things with feathers (they're hard to explain but I will get art I promise); Xente, which are basically giant amoeba (ones that can change their shape to be humanoid of course, what even would be the point if they couldn't); Possum, which are basically... bipedal possums and Ternaki which are basically short technicolor space elves (They believe in God). All of these species will get their very own blog post of course, but this post is hugely long and I'm getting worried about people getting bored so that's all for now.

In the future blog posts won't be this long I promise (hopefully) and they'll be a lot more focused on one thing. This blog is meant to record the development process, write down a lot of worldbuilding that has lived only in my head for too long, and link to playtests.

If you made it this far, holy crap you read a lot of my shenanigans thank you for your time I am indebted to you, truly. The next post will be about Dice Mechanics. Bye.

P.S. If you want to ask questions about Prima Materia (or me) you can send me an ask on my main blog @girlcodedcreature

#indie ttrpg #ttrpg #original content #small content creator #long post #cw long post #tabletop #indie games #indie rpg #tabletop rpg #sci fi and fantasy #thanks @donutboxers for help with the tags #prima materia #primamateria #@sp1n0za

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cios-correct-opinions · 4 months ago

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@starrynightarchive

big ol tl;dr for anyone looking:

if ppl "not appreciating" female characters by creating content for them bc they don't want to bothers you that much? there's only one thing you can and should do:

MAKE YOUR OWN CONTENT OR APPRECIATION POSTS OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU THINK PEOPLE SHOULD DO INSTEAD AND STOP DEMANDING PEOPLE CHANGE THEIRS. IF YOUR FANDOM SPACE IS LACKING IN CONTENT YOU WANNA SEE? MAKE IT. DO IT. NOTHING'S STOPPING YOU EXCEPT YOURSELF.

but if you don't wanna do that and you don't wanna pay someone to, then stop complaining.

(note re: the discourse thing/me wanting to "start discourse": i only reblogged onto my "discourse" sideblog bc i didn't want this on my main blog. not bc i think it's automatically discourse. political stuff just goes over here now so i can keep the things more separated for my own sake)

op of the post blocked me but im genuinely baffled at this response

because how in the fuck did you gather ANY of that from me saying this

brother all i did was define what the word means. like i am so baffled as to how you decided that i was implying op was transphobic or some shit bc i absolutely was not!

nor was i trying to start discourse. i was literally just saying that, in my experience in the circles i'm in and the people i've seen, doing both is possible and they often do both. i'm not a huge fan of cis genderbends myself in any direction because if i'm gonna genderbend they're gonna be trans given that i am also trans

and then theres this that i said

which everyone seems to have completely ignored. bc that's the crux of this. it's not that they dislike the canon women it's that they want to take their blorbos they love the most and girl them because that's how fandom works. it's about self indulgence. fandom is supposed to be you doing what you love the most, and engaging with the characters you love the most, bc it's about fun

why are yall trying to force people to post abt characters they may not care for for a number of reasons? bc thats what this feels like. it feels like you want ppl to talk abt, post abt, write abt, draw abt, etc, characters they are not super passionate for, simply bc you believe they should, bc you think what they do in fandom is some kind of formula for their like, actual real world beliefs

i genuinely cannot stress enough to you guys that most peoples actions in fandom are almost entirely divorced from any political meaning. or at least, they were, until people started acting like that was a sin actually and that if you liked this character or if you liked too many male characters and not enough female ones that means youre secretly a misogynist who just hates women so much because you don't post about them all the time

most of my fandom blorboposting ends up being about a handful of any random assortment of characters because that's who my brain latches on to, but that doesn't say shit about my feelings about any other character. specifically in bsd, i mostly post and talk about literally two of the characters WAY more than the others bc they are my favorites. this includes ALL the other characters, just about. most of my fanworks are for them and will continue to be for them because they are my OTP and my top two in this series.

why is this important?

because someone genderbending a male character or multiple of them in order to see a CHARACTER THEY ALREADY THINK ABOUT 24/7 AND LIKE A LOT AND HAVE A DEEP ATTACHMENT TO, as a woman, does not mean they don't love and appreciate the canon women. holy shit. that's what i was criticizing in the original post.

also like. most of the ppl doing the genderbending i see are either women or like, somehow woman-aligned, or wlw/attracted to women in some way, etc. and most of them are making these genderbends bc theyre attracted to the canon character. it's self-indulgence it's ALMOST ALWAYS self-indulgence guys it's FANDOM that's what it's FOR you CANNOT FORCE SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT A CHARACTER FOR ANY REASON AND STILL MAKE AN ETHICAL ARGUMENT OUT OF IT JFC

it wasn't meant to be discourse on my end either. i was trying to offer an alternate reason or perspective of approaching what op seemed to think was an issue given the wording of the post, by offering my personal experience. i also never said op was wrong, by the way, my expression of disbelief was also put alongside me going "maybe it's just the people i follow" because i tend to follow people who, when they do genderbends, are also avid fans of the canon women too, they just like the men they're genderbending more. hence why they're doing that.

this expectation within fandom that people must create content of female characters - or ANY characters - lest they be accused of despising them or not appreciating them is going to be the death of fandom and i'm so fucking serious. you CANNOT insist people spend their time making shit for FREE that they aren't 100% jazzed and excited about in FANDOM SPACES and then get mad when they don't do that and expect fandom to be something that continues for generations as it has in the past

and for the record seeing as how op reblogged with this which. where do i even start lmao. ik they've written me off as a woman-hating misogynist so i'm not expecting good faith arguments in response from them but, c'est la vie

#cio.org #fandom #discourse #me #my voice #cio.txt

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ryuichirou · 1 year ago

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Do you guys have any sfw headcanons about jadidi? I really liked the one you did with Floyd! 🩵💙

Not only I took 1000 years to actually reply to you, Anon, I was also mistakenly certain that we already had at least one post about jadidi hcs. I guess I’ve been writing this reply in my head for so long that I fully gaslighted myself that it exists…

Alright, my brave little story aside, I am very happy that you enjoyed our Floyd/Idia hcs, Anon! And even though it was ages ago, I hope you’re still here to read the Jade/Idia ones that I came here to offer you…

(Damn it’s been a while since we posted anything Jadidi-related! Poor Jade :( )

I feel like I’ve said this one in some other post, but still: Idia genuinely likes Jade. He is still terrified of him, yes, and he doesn’t trust him at all, because he knows better than to trust anyone from Octavinelle, but that Harveston experience has taught him a lot. When in social situations and when Ortho isn’t around, Idia’s go-to is to either die all by himself or to cling to the most shady and misanthropic person. Usually it’s Azul, but Jade fits the mold surprisingly well. Idia didn’t expect to be comfortable (well sort of) around him, but here we are.

Jade enjoys being around Idia as well, and even though they don’t talk to each other very often, they have their little chats every now and then, and it’s usually quite a lovely experience… until Jade decides that it’s way too lovely and does or says something to freak Idia out. He really enjoys teasing him (and scaring him), so it’s like one minute they are friends, and then he acts like he is hungrily circling around a squid that he is about to bite.

Jade has Idia’s phone number. He asked for it at the end of the Harveston event, and even though Idia was very hesitant, at that moment he thought that this wasn’t that bad of an idea; so now Jade is one of the few people who knows Idia’s phone number.

He didn’t even need to ask btw, he could’ve asked Azul about it or even figured it out by himself (wink), but he really wanted to act like a cute kohai that really wants to keep in touch with his senpai that he had bonded with so much.

They do text each other sometimes: for the most part Jade just sends Idia some pictures of plants and mushrooms (usually the ones that they talked about in Harveston – something that Idia asked him about because there was that one plant from his favourite anime). He also sends him any bad pictures of Azul that he has, and Idia always giggles at these.

Idia giggles (very cutely!) because of Jade surprisingly a lot. Jade’s snarky little comments always hit the right spot for Idia, especially when Jade is mocking someone (usually it’s Azul…)

They also talk about anime sometimes. Jade did watch that one kelkkarotu inspired anime that Idia really likes and rather enjoyed it. And Idia almost cried because of excitement – he knew Jade-shi would get it! After that he gave Jade way too many anime recommendations… Jade has very little free time, but he still watches things from that list from time to time. Idia always waits for his reviews desperately…

One time Jade asked Idia to come and hang out with him at the lounge after working hours, and Idia initially freaked out and didn’t want to go. The fact that he called him at like 9 P.M. should have made everything better, since there are no people there, but it somehow made it worse. It’s way too shady! Does Jade-shi want to kill him? Or even worse – is he doing to do something r- romant- eeek??

The idea that there is some romantic chemistry between them occurs to Idia from time to time. He tries not to think about it though, or to rationalize it by saying to himself that he is just being paranoid, that Jade doesn’t seem into any type of relationship in general, or that Jade wouldn’t be into him at all. Or that he probably plays too many vns, and just talking to a guy from time to time doesn’t mean that they are getting anywhere.

But they are. They really are. Jade is perfectly aware that Idia is tormented by this dilemma and that he likes Jade’s attention, and he really likes it when Idia looks at him with his surprised, confused, but also sweetly desperate eyes. He could have easily made the first move, but confusing Idia and making him obsessed with this idea is much more fun. So he’ll play with him some more~

#replies #headcanons #jadidi

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choicesficwriterscreations · 1 year ago

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September MC & OCs of the Month - Special Edition: Celia Moore

Help us in welcoming September's MCs and OCs of the month! That's right, plural! Most months, CFWC highlights one randomly selected MC or OC from our Meet My MC / OC List. (More info here.) But this month, we're doing something different.

In August, @lilyoffandoms hosted a Writers Appreciation Month, and we announced the September Writer of the Month would be selected from its participants. But all participants agreed - Lily deserved the honor! Still, we wanted to do something nice for the eleven writers who elected to participate to help uplift other writers in the fandom. So, this month, each of the eleven participants will have one of their MCs or OCs highlighted.

We will introduce each MC / OC individually, and once all eleven have been highlighted, a masterlist for the month will be created. We hope you enjoy getting to know all about them!

The ninth MC of the Month is @trappedinfanfiction 's Celia Moore!

Learn more about Celia below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC.

It’s hard to say exactly what I like most about her, but probably her dedication. She doesn’t back down when things don’t go her way and will always do everything she can to do what she believes is right. She has worked hard to end up where she has, and she knows it; she won’t let the words of others destroy her own accomplishments.

Do you feel your MC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I feel like I put some of myself in every MC/OC I have, and Celia is no different. She might be the one that I am the most alike, but at the same time, she’s a lot different from me. Maybe a bit more like how I want to be. She’s passionate and not afraid to speak up if something is wrong and is willing to take risks to turn things in a better direction, especially in the medical world. She’s also a lot more social than me. While she enjoys her alone time and keeps a smaller circle of very close friends, she doesn’t really have a problem talking and getting to know new people.

What is most important to your MC? What is their motivation in life?

The most important thing for Celia is the people around her, her family, friends and patients. They are her motivation. She wants them to have a good life and wants to help where she can. She hates where the medical world is heading, where money is becoming more important than what the people needs. As her influence in the medical world grows, she uses her privilege to work for a world where people don’t have to go into a life-time of debt just to get the help they need, and that no one should be turned away just because of their looks and identity.

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

People who always think they know best because they googled something and generally rude/intolerant people. “Oh, you’re a woman? You have to be a nurse. Let me speak to a man.” is something she hears a lot, and it makes her blood boil.

If your MC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

If she could change the world, she would. She knows it’s impossible in reality, but through her work she knows she at least can help her patients. She will do her very best to give every single patient the help they need. Be it someone to talk to, or finding the right treatment.

What is your MC’s favorite quote or song?

This one is so hard! I never have any idea when I am asked about music, because what I listen to isn’t necessarily what my MC/OCs would like and I honestly can’t even settle on my own favorites. However, I can see her liking Raleigh Carrera’s music.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC?

I never believed that I would ever post any of my writing, but Celia has been my door into sharing it. She has developed into her own character outside the MC I played as in Open Heart and I have had so much fun writing her story. She was my escape during the pandemic and I have gotten so many friends in the fandom because of her. Some have left, and some are still here, and I am grateful for every single one. I never believed what was supposed to be a small drabble would lead to where things are now.

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc mc of the month #celia moore #trappedinfanfiction #open heart

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nihilizzzm · 1 year ago

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So as I already stated, I just started uni and i have suddenly fuckin stuff to do and I am writing but not as much as i was able to before. However I still want to bring something to the table so I am posting this fragment from 16 chapters ff I am still working on (i will finish it i have to, it’s my personal task to do, I will despise myself if i leave it).

So here’s a lovely young Faramir and Boromir moment for you, enjoy

————

“Mithrandir! It’s him, Faramir, I told you I saw him!”

“Mithrandir!”

Gandalf laughed softly when he saw two little figures running towards him through the white corridor. Last time he saw son’s of Denethor, Faramir was barely able to run, now he caught up with his brother almost immediately. The sight of children’s excited faces, after long hours of fruitless debating with their father and his advisers, lightened old man’s soul a bit.

“There you are, I started to worry you forgot my name after all this time!”

“What were you discussing with father?” Boromir’s eyes sparkled wickedly.

“That, my dear boy, is none of your business for now. Nothing you have to worry about.”

“Mithrandir, Mithrandir look! I lost my tooth last week!” Faramir smiled widely, showing indeed a big hole when his front tooth used to be.

“That is a big event, young one”, said Gandalf, with a very serious voice.

“Yeah, Boromir slammed the door in my face, but it was moving anyway!”

The Wizard looked at the older brother with raised brow. Boromir had at least some decency to look ashamed. “It was an accident”, he muttered indistinctly, and Gandalf couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I missed you two rascals”, he admitted, messing Faramir’s hair. He slowly started walking to the exit of the citadel, both boys still all around him. Boromir was running, circling him, talking constantly and waving his wooden sword all around, being absolutely satisfied with Gandalf’s very expressive nods. Faramir, on the other hand, grabbed the sleeve of his grey, long robe, and was holding it for dear life, having to also run in order to be able to follow Wizard’s steps. When they finally reached the courtyard and their eyes were presented with the White Tree, Faramir pulled the sleeve.

“Mithrandir! Would you tell us a story?”

Boromir stopped talking for a moment, only to grab other sleeve. “Yes! Tell us something!” And after a moment he added “Please?”

“Will you two promise to behave?” The Wizard raised both of his eyebrows. The answer to his question were two heads, nodding intensively. “Than I guess I might find some time for you in my schedule.”

Boromir grinned and Faramir let out a squeak of happiness. They seated themselves under the rotten tree, Gandalf on the one of benches, two boys on the grass in front of him.

“Well, what would you like to hear about?”, he asked, taking out his pipe and lightening it up.

“Oh, oh, oh! Tell us again about the journey of the little burglar and the dwarven prince and his company!” Faramir’s eyes were sparkling with excitement.

Boromir made a face. “No, it’s boring!” He looked at his brother and then again at Gandalf. “I want to hear about the Dragonslayer!”

“Well, boys, you have to get to the agreement”, Gandalf seated himself, looking at the children, amused. He let out a big circle of smoke, to which Faramir giggled cheerfully.

“But the journey is so great, I like how the dwarven prince accepts the little burglar as his friend, even though he is not the great soldier he expected!” Faramir’s wise eyes met his brother’s. “It shows that the worth of a person is not their size but their heart, doesn’t it, Mithrandir? That’s what you said before!”

“But the Dragonslayer part is much more interesting! It tells about the strong, brave man who slayed the big dragon with only his sword!” Boromir jumped on his feet, pulling out his wooden weapon again. “When I grow up I will slay hundreds of dragons! I will be a great soldier like him!”

Gandalf raised his brows, chewing on the end of his pipe, waiting carefully for the discussion’s result.

“He didn’t do it with sword”, explained Faramir with a smart voice. “He did it with an arrow, that’s why he called himself the Archer when he crowned himself king. Didn’t he, Gandalf?”

“Well, first of all, my dear Faramir”, said Gandalf, meeting two pair of eyes focused on him. “He didn’t crown himself and he also didn’t call himself anything. His name was Bard, and he was indeed very brave.”

“But he killed the dragon with an arrow?” Faramir still tried to make his point.

“Yes, he did. With a black arrow he annihilated Smaug the Destroyer. That’s why people of Lake Town gave him his nickname, and he has gone down in history as Bard the Bowman.”

“Why didn’t he named himself something greater?” Boromir seated himself down again. “He was a rightful king, AND he killed a dragon.”

“He was just a ferryman”, Gandalf looked at Boromir. Young boy’s hair has fallen down from the bun he was wearing and were all over his face. “He was indeed a descendant from the old rulers of Dale, but it was not Dale anymore. It was Lake Town, and the only thing reminding of his ancestors was the black arrow.”

“So he took the chance to reclaim what was his when he could?”, boy’s eyes sparkled again. Gandalf sighed, the older one was clearly full of stories his father’s servants told him.

“No, he was chosen by the people. Not because his heritage, but because of his bravery and his ability to lead the people, care for them and provide them with safety. He gave them hope.” The Wizard looked firstly at Boromir who seemed not fully convinced, and then at Faramir who was listening with his mouth open. “Remember boys, it is not a crown or a father’s blood that makes you a good ruler. It is your ability for taking care of your people, and winning their hearts not with sword, but with wisdom and love.”

Faramir frowned. “So when the King will return to Gondor we have to make sure he is not just an overconfident, careless knight?”

Boromir snorted. Gandalf looked into the sky, letting out another circle of smoke. He smirked, remembering something. Or someone. “Yes, Faramir. When the King returns it will be the job of you both, to decide if he is worthy of Gondor and her people”, he said, and then added to himself only “But I feel you will like him, eventually.”

“What did you say?” Boromir asked, looking at him with a surprised face.

“Oh, nothing important, my dear boy!” With that words, Gandalf smiled again. Then he tilted his head back and let out a big cloud of smoke. Instead of usual circle, smoke formed itself into a small dragon, that flew around Faramir and crushed itself on Boromir’s face. The boy coughed and his younger brother chuckled. “I think I know just the story you both will like, it contains a battle full of brave soldiers and acts of greatness.” To that Boromir grinned widely. “And it also finishes the story about the little burglar and the dwarven prince, Thorin Oakenshield.” Faramir also smiled. “But I have to warn you, it is a story only for big boys. This day is remembered as the Battle of Five Armies…”

—————

So yeah, that’s it from me for now, this ff is my child and I will raise it at some point 💀

#lotr #lord of the rings #boromir #the lord of the rings #faramir #lotr ff #lotr fanfic #lotr fanfiction #i swear i will finish it

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antimony-medusa · 9 months ago

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starting off this reply by saying you're way more coherent than I'll ever be and you've managed to sum up all the main points my silly anon vent post made and more.

my hatred of dadza assignments is less going after people minding their own business but more the people making their theories everyone's business through character critique threads. i was tired of people attacking cPhil not being an all-seeing all-knowing paternal therapist for far too many people on the old server who were going through their sad cubito arcs (when at most he was an acquaintance), and I'm slightly horrified watching qPhil being attacked/ mischaracterised to fit the same narrative in the exact same way right now on a completely separate server. i could copy and paste arguments used against innitwt fans who went too far then and apply it to qsmptwt fans who are going too far now, qPhil hasn't been assigned the abusive/absent side character in many qsmp fanfics just yet but time and flat circle etc etc

honestly it sucks because during purgatory the BOLAS cult/family fan reaction was fun! and maybe it was because it was in it's early stages or creators weren't focusing on their angst-filled individual lore at the time but people were (mostly) making dark cannibalistic AUs and art and just exploring potential dynamics, instead of assuming fanon=canon and delving into the very familiar 3 stages you mentioned (wiki writers being a notable exception as per usual)

point C is just describing how twitter works, most stans think that if they make enough noise their chosen creator or entire fandom will bend to their will. as Tubbo said it's not that deep

Yeah! Yeah I am in full agreement here. I ended up deleting my response to that post cause I felt like I'd gotten too far off track for the question, but I think it escaped containment first, so, hello. Continued conversation. :D To be clear, I didn't think you were out of line at all, you just hit me in a moment where I'd been doing some reflections about what I post, and I'm personally trying to remind myself to not go out here posting stuff like "shipping is the only moral way to do fandom, family dynamic is BAD", because if I think about it for more than a second that's an absurd thing to say, and it's not helpful. We're all being kind of weird here, family dynamic is not too far out of line when we're talking about Things To Headcanon With Cubitos.

However, I DO think there's an issue in the fandom with people telling themselves that shipping = bad but family dynamic = good, and then doing everything that shipping wars lead into, including demonizing other characters for the sake of their ship family dynamic, and throwing characterization and canon out the window for the sake of their ship family dynamic. And then they put it on the wiki. Seeing people take non-canon family dynamics and then write character crit analysis moments about how people are reacting badly within it is aughghghghghghghhghghghghgh <I am become that person falling down a minecraft chimney again. But then again, I am never a fan of character crit moments in the first place, I am more a person who sits at my screen like "ooo, more war crimes? is it my birthday?" I am a fan of the murder war crimes guy, why are you writing serious posts on my dash about how he's a bad person because he's not emotionally available to his daughter (editor's note: they don't mean his real daughter, they mean a grown woman doing a bit). I see character crit posts and immediately start taking -1hp poison damage per round.

Yeah as someone who DID enjoy BOLAS in purgatory, most of the bolas tag on Ao3 is not written in such a way that I'd enjoy it, I like those guys as a found family slash cult, not as a bio family, heaven's sake. These are guys making up rituals in a death game, the way I see it, not a fluffy OR angsty family. However there are still a FEW people writing bolas in a fun way that's fun to me (check out response to danger by insomniawillow if you are open to some more e-rated concepts and writing), so I'm not entirely ready to go full blocked tags on it.

Mostly after so long in the dadza mines in the DSMP I'm just tearfully going "please, please, can we talk about the real guy as an adult and a peer, not as a dad, look he has his own kids you can talk about now, can he be a peer to the other streamers, please" and then I break down weeping piteously. It's fun times seeing what twitter is doing, I'll tell you.

#anon #ask

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centrally-unplanned · 2 years ago

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I feel like making a “Top 5 Media of the Year” post is like extremely redundant if you follow me, its going to be really obvious what is on there. Still, ranking things is fun and is good to reflect on them, in particular why they ‘stuck’ with me and what makes them last as opposed to fun-at-the-time so here goes:

Perfect Tides

Definitely the most well-crafted ‘narrative’ of the year for me. As a game its eh, but you essentially ignore that and its very easy to do so. I been ruminating a lot on temporality this year; the sort of stripping-away of the idea of one having a future that ones grows to as opposed to a sequential present. The idea of ‘growth’ being more of a story we write for ourselves. And additionally I have always had a passion for stories about contingency and specificity, the ways technology, locale and circumstances shape people in not-so-obvious ways.

Perfect Tides is never settled on one thing but those two themes permeate every part of its narrative. Mara is obsessed with changing herself, getting out of the ‘rut’ of her life, but has almost no agency in that regard. She changes, massively so, but never due to her plans coming to fruition. There are these moments where she introspects, and she is smart so it seems right, but - while never confirmed to be so explicitly - are just wrong on reflection, in the battle between her identity & and her outside reality, reality proves stronger.

And the ways she tries to fight against her circumstances are so adorably 2000′s. Writing on fanfic webforums, ‘dating’ someone via IM (and it falling apart from it being transposed outside of that medium), living on an outskirt suburbia island to the metropole of the rest of your social circle, there is so much in there. In the end the bildungsroman story of a teen growing up is dime a dozen, these stories can’t survive on the universality. Perfect Tides marries the universality to a specificity that changes it enough to make it new.

Bocchi the Rock

I have said a lot about Bocchi and why it works so I won’t repeat myself on that front. Instead to situate its lasting impact on me I think I can instead focus on the kind of anime I have been watching. I have picked up a lot (by no means all) of the older ‘classics’ over the past 5 or so years, and I was absolutely soul-sniped by the 90′s ~mindfuck~ era of anime. I am always secretly hunting for more of that, but you really aren’t going to find any of that in modern shows; Sonny Boy is the closest I have seen and its a forced comparion for sure (still a great show, would recommend). The Evangelion era is so over not even an Evangelion remake could recapture it.

The modern era instead has other strengths that you need to see on its own terms - new themes, new styles, new approaches. Slice of life is one of them, K-On! was the first ‘great’ entry into the genre that utilizes the modern lexicon, and there have been more and more hits along that front over time. Anime - and the people who watch it - has a more comfortable relationship with its otaku identity, replacing existential dilemma with celebratory depiction. 90′s animation experimentalism was immense but also limited by the tools of the day; modern animation technology allows an easy integration of styles and techniques that was out or reach 20 years ago.

Bocchi for me is the crest of a wave of modern trendlines in anime’s capabilities and thematics. It perfects so much of what slice of life does while shedding its tired tropes; ruthlessly depicts a real-if-exaggerated otaku struggle but through the modern comedic, happy lens; and puts animation-as-a-tool to work communicating those feelings in the most inventive ways posible. Hell, the design process itself is radically accessible! I follow the creative team on twitter who were live-posting production photos, scene reactions, everything you could imagine. The media mix was intense. It is, in a certain sense, the most modern anime I have seen. It crystalized its own ‘genre’ that I want to see more of.

Sing Yesterday For Me

This year was a big year for manga for me, a journey I am hoping to deepen going forward. Sing Yesterday For Me was on my list for a while due to the anime adaptation from 2020, which I...hated? But due to all the really polished balls it kept dropping, I could see the potential, moody characters struggling with love & life in period-piece 2000′s Tokyo, lots of my boxes checked there.

The manga drops many of these same balls (less for sure), this is not a ‘great’ work. Instead why it has stuck with me is that is a showcase in the strengths of aesthetics & realism. Kei Toume’s art is just so absolutely my jam; the way she draws eyes with enhanced roundness and detail; the way the hair is all messy textures and sharp lines; the fact that in the middle of this serious manga will be splash images of little fashion showcases or photobooth printouts or something. She does this in all of her works too, she has types - I have been reading two of her other manga, Rocky Princess and Karakida-ke no Koshogurashi, and her aesthetic archetypes absolutely show up again in both.

I enjoyed Sing Yesterday for Me’s story but what I remember most are these individual panels that are just Art to me, and its something that manga does on its own terms that I have been growing to appreciate more and more as I read more and more (Chainsaw Man stands out in this regard as well). Its a reason to read manga specifically as its own genre. Maybe the story won’t be amazing, but it can be in service of those panels, a necessary component to making them shine, and its worth it for that.

Astrophyics - Hope Left Me+

Astroyphics is a synthwave/darkwave composer who got their start doing remixes, lots of anime & 80′s stuff, which all rocks and I highly recommend. This is the year they started branching out into their own original compositions in a way that I think succeeded - it was a rougher journey, some of their early works lack life, but the later stuff - Hope Left Me, Cute Tragedies - are some of my favourite of the genre in how they blend being��‘noisescape’ with having melodic elements or motiffs that still stand out.

And they are a media mix pioneer in how much work they put into video elements for the songs, album covers, and other things - Hope Left Me has a visual novel it is attached to! Which you can play as a standalone game (this worked ~fine) or partly experience as a visual album for listening to the music (which is amazing). I love that someone who started out making Serial Experiments Lain covers is working so well in the medium of “music as its permitted to be by the internet”. Its something I want more and more over time, music that exists beyond the notes and instead is in conversation with the rest of the media apparatus it is so inexorably embedded in, and Astrophysics owns that reality. They are 50% of the reason I am a Hatsune Miku stan nowadays (first t-shirt recently acquired!) - the other 50% of the reason being...

Hazel - Why Did We Like Elfen Lied?

Hazel’s Why Did We Like Elfen Lied? lives rent-free in my mind. Its the perfect question for me, not about ‘anime as anime’ but ‘anime as societal product’, about how watchers viewed it, cared about it, repackaged it, communicated it, the works. “What does this piece of media being loved say about those who love it” is the root question over which every other media discussion I ever have rests, the Unified Field Theorem of media analysis. And Elfen Lied is the *perfect* target for this question - it fucking sucks! It is an awful show, and in Japan no one cared. But in 2004 everyone in the west loved it. It was a show begging for an explanation.

Hazel nails it, and she does so through her subjectivity. She was the patient zero for the Elfen Lied experience as an emo goth edgy teen girl for its release; the way she jumps back and forth between the anime’s actual content, the way what it offered was passed around anime & goth subcultures, and the wider concerns those communities had in 2000′s America, is completely realized due to its combination of analysis and autobiography. And Hazel excels as a filmmaker along this same lens - her editing style is a tower of niche references to iconography, media, and music from the era, she composes her own songs which she uses for key moments, its a “by kids for kids by scene nerds for scene nerds” approach that epotimizes the strength of YouTube as a medium.

Hazel will not continue to be my favourite YouTuber - I will absolutely still be a fan, but she has her own questions she cares about that don’t align with mine, and the way she is evolving as a creator is not my own path. She has many other good videos and I highly recommend looking through all her works. But Why Did We Like Elfen Lied will last beyond that for me as an influence of the kind of thing I myself want to make (and probably never will, oh well!).

#2022 media retrospective #bocchi the rock!#perfect tides #sing yesterday for me #astrophysics #hazel

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