#i am soooo normal about dnd

[miodiodavinci]

omg i get so excited hearing about dnd!!!! how many campaigns have you been in if u mind answering?

i don't mind at all ! ! ! ! i enjoy talking about dnd ! ! ! ! our group got together in 2020 has run a total of (counts on fingers) 6 campaigns and 5 one shots, with our average campaign length being around 20 to 30 sessions. each person's taken a shot at DM'ing thus far, but the forever DM and i have both run about four of those each w

also, outside of one or two one shots, it's all been exclusively homebrew ! ! ! which is fun because we've all gotten to create our own regions and design overarching lore that connects each campaign to the other ! ! ! (surprisingly, hannus barbarous is usually the connecting factor. we did not plan this but that's just how it is now KJSFLKJH)

and because i love talking about dnd so much i'm taking this opportunity to dump a whole lot of summary of each campaign/one shot in chronological order under the cut w

ON A SCALE of ONE to TWENTY .. campaign

After being shut off from the world for over a hundred years, the region of Celosia finally opens its doors, sending out an open letter to all would-be adventurers asking for help. Our party just so happened to be the fools who decided to answer (and who got lucky enough to not get eaten by wolves on the way there), and have been tasked with taking down the shadowy Emerald Division that has seemingly come to power. They'll get to it as soon as they visit the dump (it's on the way).

Our DM's first homebrew campaign and the result of all of us being stuck inside and realizing we finally had time to play together w. This was the origin of both Hannus Barbarous as a running gag (along the lines of "this is JUST like Thomas and Jeremiah") and the name Scott as a throwaway bit, and also the origin of "The Coolest Emerald Division" title w

Characters

Roachcock the Tiefling Barbarian (played by me) .. bastard at heart, just wants to split heads, get coin, and buy a boat

Babey Möd the Halfling-Tabaxi Cleric (played by @anonprotagging) .. here to eat gravy and spread the good word of Lyra

The Storm the Water Genasi Barbarian .. he's super famous dude just trust me i heard he once fought like thirty turkeys

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan .. looking for her lost moms and also stealing this guy's boots hahaaa sick

Opus Whitfield the Human Wild Magic Sorcerer .. trying to use this opportunity to set up a new storefront for his family's gem cutting business, is actually using this opportunity to get bullied

note: i don't know if the other players use tumblr so for now they'll just be identified as "Xs player" from here on out w

GRANNY'S COUNTRY APPLE PIE .. one shot

An aging wizard wishes to taste the sweet delight of Granny's Country Apple Pie™ one last time (despite the bakery closing decades ago) and thus tasks our heroes with scoping out the place and seeing if they can find a recipe. Somewhere along the way, things got weird and it turns out Granny was just an immortal 65 year old who was taking a vacation in the outer planes with her wife but she's back now :)

Pre-built one shot that very quickly went off the rails, as to be expected for my very first go at being a DM after being a player for less than 4 months. The first appearance of Hannus as an actual character and not just a running bit.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. he's taking a break from his prestigious play writing career to see the sights and reconnect with the little piece of him that was shattered when his troupe broke apart (but not too much of a break not to sign every autograph he can eyyy)

Sir the Eternal Flame (and sorcerer i guess) (played by Opus's player) .. still frustrated at being locked in human form, this giant immortal moth is off doing busy work until his curse wears off (which apparently includes bakery heists???)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. with their giant bumblebee Spoobin and frankly obscene lack of dietary standards at their side, there's no meal that they can't tackle

THE OSSIFIED GARDENS .. mini campaign

Taking shelter from the rain in an unearthly structure, the gang is snatched away from the physical realm and into a crab bucket-like hotel for the fae. With their most prized possessions taken from them as an entry fee, the gang has to endure arduous tasks to receive the stamps of each of the five Managers in order to receive audience with the minor god who runs the establishment. Whether or not she'll be willing to give their possessions back, however...

My first solo campaign as a DM!! Heavily inspired by Spirited Away and mostly an excuse to put old game dev content to use (including a literal circus of NPCs), but ended up serving as an important event in the Hannus Barbarous lore.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. on the road with Tehn to visit a trinket faire in the next town over, about to experience beginning of a long and scalding beef with a petty minor god

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. Hannus and Tehn are best friends now—they're having soft tacos later! :)

Piers the Minotaur Cleric (played by Opus's player) .. he's just along for the ride—maybe there will be cool books! :oooo

Tess the Halfling Rogue (played by In'hala's player) .. laying low until the folks in charge of her latest warrant lose track of her (and by laying low i mean just stealing at waist height instead of top shelves)

ROLL to PHOTOBOMB .. campaign

A seemingly normal winter festival goes astray when our heroes poor fools accidentally soul-bond to an extraplanar device meant to be a birthday present for the renowned sculptor hosting the ball (spoilers: it's a camera). They have four months to take it north to Cobalt City, get the re-calibration redone, and get it back in time for her wife to give it to her for their anniversary. The only problem is, the mountain pass is closed and the only other way there is a several hundred mile road trip by wagon...

Time to take some photos in front of some kitschy roadside attractions, I guess.

Opus's player's first time DM'ing for our group (though they'd DM'd before, and frankly—their experience shows). This campaign was home to some of our most beloved NPCs like Cassidy the subterranean super organism, Barry the extraplanar knife slime, and Sir the Eternal Flame Moth (he got that curse figured out finally!)

Characters

Fafnir of the Boreal North, the human knight Mimic Berserker (played by me) .. they just wanted to leave their dungeon to find a better, damper place to sit and eat and somehow accidentally took part in the funniest case of mistaken identity this side of Alcione

Ranger Rain Rainer the human Ranger (and literal park ranger, played by @anonprotagging) .. originally here to supervise the environmental impacts of the ball on the local landscape, now soul-bound to an extraplanar camera and havin' a good ol' time hangin' with the boys :) y'want some soy sauce with that? i bought a gallon back in brass junction

Kit the Elven Ranger (played by Tehn's player) .. legitimately so traumatized he wraps back around to being the most normal person in this group—just don't mention Celestine Grove

Babu the Hobgoblin Artificer (played by the Storm's player) .. having been separated from his parents and raised by Kobolds, Babu, his steel defender Babu, and his clockwork creation Little Babu are on a long journey to reunite with them in Grand Arbor .. please do not look at him he's sensitive

THE GREAT COCKATRICE RACE .. one shot

It's that time of year—the Great Cockatrice Race is upon us!! But just as our party is soaking in the sights and staking out the perfect spot to watch, they witness a young tiefling have his cockatrice's racing gear shredded by a local gang. Desperate to win so he can help pay to treat his father's worsening eyesight (they're cartographers by trade), he asks the party for help, and they quickly oblige.

Another one shot run by me, based loosely on a one-page campaign document. Not much to say about this one beyond the fact that everyone was ready to kill for Noodles the bantam cockatrice.

Characters

Actias Saturnid the Aasimar Paladin (played by @anonprotagging) .. on a quest to popularize his deity's chosen form of entertainment—tinker vision (TV for short)

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. here to have fun and maybe also look for his friend that went missing have you seen her please tell me i miss her ;_____;

Kai the ??? Swashbuckling Rogue (played by Opus's player) .. it's a big festival, and that means plenty of eyes and plenty of cash! not a half bad time to try negotiating some new patrons for her artist friends

TROUBLE at PORT MANDRET .. one shot

What was originally supposed to be the 58th annual showcase of Umbergate University's horticultural collection is turned sour as an incensed former professor unleashes a powerful awakening spell on the entire town. With only a few hours before the plants release spores that will spread the spell to the entire world, our party has to act fast and cooperate with a local mycologist who seems to know just the fix to this predicament.

Another one shot from me, this time entirely homebrewed! This is also the origin of Scott as a character and not just a throwaway bit, and very much the source of his dynamic with Hannie. They found him tangled up in a bunch of kudzu in a coffee shop and he sent them on a long fetch quest to help him make a cup of coffee using stolen coffee beans.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and bard (you know his player by now w) .. you know, he was just trying to lay low after the whole "committing arson" thing, but now he has a gay little mushroom twink to look after and that's (????)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by you know who w).. also laying low after helping Hannus commit arson, but mostly here to eat a bunch of plants when no one's looking

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's a goose who only says "HANK" and i love that so much about him

Quinn the literal, unawakened, plain old animal tiger and Rogue (played by the Storm's player) .. the reason Hannus and Tehn committed arson after discovering she was being kept in squalid conditions by a wealthy family .. i cannot stress enough that she is a literal, un-enchanted tiger

THE ENIGMA of DAHL CREEK .. campaign

Their boat having sank in a storm, the party washes up on a seemingly once populous island now drowning under webs of unidentifiable blue-green vines and the eerily human-like shapes it creates. Working to unravel the mystery of how the entire town disappeared one August day, they find the past and present blurring together in a strange and haunting way.

The Celosia campaign DM's next big campaign, and frankly the one that haunts me most to this day. I cannot put into words how fucking good this campaign was. Legitimately gave me chills and occupies a region of my brain that cannot be vacated.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous (you know him) .. just trying to recover from the fae thing and the tiger incident and then the Port Mandret fiasco and really doesn't need this right now (but deal he will)

Biscott Cortinarius the human mycologist and Necromancer (played by me) .. putting a little distance between himself and the university due to the ""legal ramifications of interviewing university property without familial consent,"" but mostly sticking with Hannus because he's a bard and... well... bards aren't exactly beefy are they ;)

The Destitution of Mires the Lizardfolk Circle of Spores Druid (played by the Storm's Player) .. to this day i still don't know what their deal was, only that they sensed and so they came, and they left just as easily

Theo the ??? Circle of Dreams Druid (played by Opus's player) .. wanted to get out there and see the world, managed to sneak onto the one and Only boat that shipwrecked that day, now paying for it dearly

TIDECLEFT ISLES .. campaign

When the great Captain Wicke died, he arranged in his will that his treasure was to be given to the pirates of Tidecleft—so long as they could find it. Having arranged a massive, death-defying posthumous treasure hunt, several teams (including our heroes) must now compete to locate Wicke's treasure if they want to claim it all for themselves. What the late captain has in store for them, however, may call the worth of the treasure into question.

The Storm's player's first time DM'ing for our group, but not his first time DM'ing by far (read: he was Tehn's player's forever DM long before he came to our group). This was a grand old romp around a bunch of islands and sea caves that culminated in a frankly off-the-walls batshit final battle.

Characters

Acanthus of the Western Isles, the Mano (shark man) Scholar (played by me) .. a doctor and academic seeking to pay off a massive debt he incurred thanks to the Silver Lampreys and their web of loan sharks .. he doesn't care for jokes... or laughing, or puns, or metaphorical language or

Lemon the Warforged Circle of Stars Druid (played by @anonprotagging) .. realized she's accrued like twenty years in paid time off from working as a docent in an observatory, now taking her first vacation with her best friend Owen Gnome :) (he's a garden gnome she found outside and decided to keep in her pocket) (may or may not be venomous)

Bellamy the ??? ??? (played by Opus's player) .. ever grateful to the squid trawlers that took him in, he's competing in this hunt to earn enough to turn their venture into a franchise .. he is shockingly normal despite the whole "may not be from this plane" thing

Rayin the Tiefling Storm Sorcerer (played by Tehn's player) .. having received that sweet sweet "got hit by a magical explosion on campus" money and gotten magical powers out of it, Rayin is ditching academia to do COOL things like throw lightning bolts and meow at people

these character descriptors are getting long sorry

MIETTE SIMULATOR .. one shot

Somehow, our band of unfortunate souls has wandered into a town caught in a frenzy, raving for the execution of a seemingly normal tiefling man for an unspeakable crime (literally, no one will say what it was). The gang decides to get to the bottom of this, only to discover the very laws of reality are essentially optional in this neck of the woods.

Hannus's player's first time DM'ing as a dry run for his future one shot, and it was a hoot. Also the first time we got to meet Ranger Rainer's brother, Shine Rainer (who is the polar opposite of his brother thanks to all the trauma that comes with being a record keeper).

Characters

Lark the Aasimar Gunslinger (played by me) .. just trying to do as many good deeds as possible to get her dad off her back so she can get a girlfriend without him scaring her off with his whole "incomprehensible being of holy light" thing

Clare the human ??? (played by Tehn's player) .. i don't remember why she was there she just was and she was probably the most okay with everything that was going on

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's playing it cool after the Port Mandret thing, except this is not cool this is chaos

MOON TOWN .. one shot

It's Actias! And he needs help! For some reason, they've been disconnected from their god, and they can't figure out why! When our heroes decide to help, they end up getting snatched away to an otherworldly version of the long abandoned Sun Town and need to solve the mystery of a long cold case in order to find their way back home.

Hannus's player's main group DM'ing debut. Full of fun puzzles and good laughs (I'll never forget Actias asking us for help with a puzzle and showing us one of those shapes and holes boxes you give to kids) with plenty of throwbacks to old running gags. Felt like a nice homage to what DnD had been for us thus far.

Characters

Calamund Galbraith the Reborn Echo Fighter (played by me) .. a completely average guy who just so happened to get roped into getting "engaged" to a wraith that now endlessly pursues him .. he just really wants to go home and eat soup with his birds

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. really worried for his good friend Actias :(

Tiel Alleywollow the Halfling Warlock (played by the Storm's player) .. a girl of few words (literally, she only speaks when casting spells) and eternally fond of her fiendish patron, an asshole imp named Dition

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan (played by the same guy as before w) .. hit her head on a ship and somehow ended up far, far south of Celosia. who knows what happened? certainly not in'hala, but EYYY SHE STILL HAS THE SICK BOOTS YEAAA

Teller Artax the Warforged Gunslinger (played by Opus's player) .. originally out to hunt down his lost creator, but got sidetracked, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack's sidetrack, and then

THE CURIOUS CASE of ACTON RIDGE .. campaign

50 years before the events of Dahl Creek, a similar event is taking place—after a shoot out in the canyon, the town of Acton Ridge is also carpeted in strange, blue-green vines and locked in time. Our heroes must unravel the mystery of their pasts and the two intertwined fates of a pair of brilliant inventors who were seemingly on the hunt for something not of this world. Ongoing!

The Celosia DM's latest campaign and prequel to Dahl Creek. A little different vibes from the last one considering most of us apparently lived here before things went to shit, and many of us have tie-ins with the events taking place. Cool, eerie mystery fun ! ! !

Characters

Outis the Warforged Paladin (played by me) .. an archaic tour guide emissary from the Feywilds who's trapped on an endless journey towards an unseen destination .. it's sassy as hell and just the right amount of british to be infuriating

Emeril the Sea Elf chef and Fighter (played by @anonprotagging) .. retired from being a soldier and running from his past to owning a small tavern (and running from his past) .. very blunt (like his cast iron frying pan)

Spinifer the ??? Bard and travel-book writer (played by Opus's player) .. looking for the scoop on the local scene in hopes of bringing more folks over from her homeland .. common isn't her first language and she delights in learning cool new words, like "paranormal" and "clusterfuck"

Phira the Deep Gnome Monster Hunter (played by the Storm's player) .. haunted by her past and now interested in that which is haunted, this little conspiracy theorist is going to get to the bottom of this mystery if it's the last thing she does (but not actually—she'd like to live you know)

[chip-and-the-bastards]

I AM SO HYPED I COULD POTENTIALLY CONVINCE MY SISTER TO LISTEN TO JRWI RIPTIDE LETS GOOO!!!!!

[orcelito]

Hilarious thing. I'm so far gone on my fictional crush on Dohalim that I'm even talking about it with everyone at work. Them grateful I'm talking about smth other than Akechi, but turns out I am JUST as insufferable about it lmfao

[chaoticbardlady99]

Astarion x Tav, but get this… A Druid with a wyvern drake hybrid (think the dragons from GOT and HOTD). Saddle and EVERYTHING and it’s not small, no it’s like 80 feet long with a 98 foot wingspan, black scales, and very very jealous when Astarion and Tav have alone time

If You Give a Dragon a Steak- It Will Bully You Into Flying (Astarion x GN! Reader)

I AM SOOOO SORRY! I must have seen this and just forgot about actually posting it!

CW: Brief mentions of smut, brief mentions of trauma

Not my pic, but this is what I was thinking of, but all black. Her name is Cala- Cala means light in Elvish. Cala refers to Astarion as isk which is Star in draconic.

What’s actually really cool about this is that there is something called a Dragon Knight in DND and you can link your soul with an actual Dragon (so cool, right!?)

This is lightly edited 🫡💜 please leave a comment or a like if you enjoyed my story! I would love to hear what you all think!

Astarion is used to sharing your affection with the likes of Scratch or that little Owlbear cub. Yes it was annoying from time to time and the two still live in your house, but the creature he wasn’t expecting? The giant fucking Dragon that would live in his backyard post Tadpole.

He was outside one night, just minding his own business, and a couple wing beats later- you were crying tears of joy while scratching a dragon like it was a dog.

Of all the people he had to fall in love with, it had to be a Druid Dragon Knight. Astarion knows there are worst things, but my Gods how many more animals do you need!?

Your dragon, Cala, is jet black, at least 80 feet tall with a wing span the size of Baldur’s Gate itself. She is a very friendly dragon, but also incredibly possessive. Astarion hasn’t been able to have a moment alone with you since the Netherbrain was defeated three months ago. However, he is grateful for the Dragon’s existence- she’s saved him and you multiple times when a search for a way to either cure his vampirism or his ‘allergy’ to the sun goes awry. Cala is also very nice to him and if you are gone- the dragon will shrink itself down to a comically cute lap size and sleep next to Astarion on the couch until you return.

Astarion is certain he can convince her to leave you alone at least for an afternoon.

So here he is- five or six incredibly expensive steaks in a box and walking towards a Dragon like it’s the most normal thing in all of Toril. Cala eyes him, not suspiciously, but curiously.

“Hello Night Child,” her melodious voice floats through his brain, “how can I help my person’s beloved this evening?”

Astarion grins at the last part before putting the box of Steaks on the ground.

“My beautiful scaly friend, I have brought you some steaks,” he kicks the box, “and you can have them, but they come with one condition.”

Cala’s eye becomes eye level to him and she looks amused.

“A condition? You do realize I could eat these steaks and you in one swift motion?”

“Yes,” Astarion says, “but I think we both know how upset Tav would be if you ate me.”

There is a huff of agreement and a soft look in her eye. Astarion knows he has nothing to worry about.

“What are your conditions, isk?”

“I am so very glad you asked,” Astarion says, trying to keep his nerve from dying out, “I want one evening alone with Tav.”

“No.”

Dammit.

“No!?” He says incredulously, “what do you mean no!?”

“I mean that you spent time alone with Tav for the last six months while I had to be without my home- my person. You can wait at least another six months.”

Astarion just gapes at the giant beast. If he wasn’t sure she’d kill him in three seconds flat- he might just try to slay the damn thing.

“This is! Are you!? I was enslaved for 200 years!” Astarion says sputtering, “I’ve waited 200 years for Tav to come into my life! You’ve been with her since the moment you were born!”

Cala seems to consider this- her eyes thoughtful and her posture relaxed still.

“Tav wants to take you flying.”

Astarion feels like he’s going to be sick. Tav had brought it up to him when Cala first arrived. When he tried to say, “sure,” he began to dry heave. You haven’t asked him since.

It’s not that riding a dragon doesn’t appeal to him- he would love to be able to watch you in your element. Astarion just doesn’t love the idea of accidentally plummeting out of the air because you do one of your fancy tricks and he didn’t hold on tight enough.

Astarion squints at the dragon, “and?”

“Go on one flight with us and then I will leave you alone for multiple evenings as asked.”

That seems entirely too good to be true.

“Okay,” Astarion says slowly, “I agree to your terms.”

Cala’s eyes light up with Glee before looking at the box of steaks between her and Astarion.

“Do I get to keep the steaks?” Cala asks, her tail swooshing back in forth in the grass out of excitement.

Astarion scoffs, “what do you think?”

Her massive tail stills and there is a sad look on her contradictory (cute and scary) dragon face.

“Oh don’t give me that the sweet disappointed, ‘I’m not getting cuddly Astarion’ pout.”

And yet, Cala persists. Throwing his hands up in defeat- Astarion marches away and listens as Cala devours the box of steaks.

**********************************

You are practically skipping as you hold Astarion’s hand. You had been over the moon when Astarion asked if he could go on a ride with you and Cala. You immediately dragged him away when you got home- something about wanting to do it before the moon gets too low. He didn’t consider having to be worried about the sun melting him to ash if you don’t get back in time.

“If you become comfortable, we could even fly over the Ice Spires and the Spine of the World!” You say.

He offers you a tight lipped smile and you squeeze his hand in reassurance. You asked him multiple times if he was sure and he told you he is nervous, but wants to see what all this “flying nonsense” is all about. Astarion won’t tell you that he has essentially been cornered into this by a massive fucking dragon- only because he doesn’t want to become a snack (again, now that he thinks about it. Cazador did drink all his blood once).

Astarion’s stomach is churning, but your excitement has loosened the knot of nerves that are threatening to suffocate his being. He hasn’t felt this kind of fear and anxiety since Cazador.

Tav and Cala won’t allow anything bad to happen.

That’s what he keeps telling himself when he gets on the saddle behind you and all of a sudden- Astarion is in the air on a fucking dragon.

“DOESN’T BALDUR’S GATE LOOK SO SMALL!?”

Astarion wouldn’t know- his eyes are clenched shut and he has his face buried in the crook of your neck. The sound of your enthusiastic, beating heart helps him focus on calming down. Astarion thinks of laying with you in bed, reading a funny novel together, and any other shenanigans you get into together before he finally opens his eyes.

If Astarion needed air- he would have died immediately from losing all of it.

If someone had told him even 50 years ago that he would be riding a dragon, free of his master, and with the love of his entire life giggling with glee in his arms- he would have told them to piss off.

Astarion has never seen anything like it in his 239 years of life. He doesn’t think he ever wants to land. Why had he been so afraid before!? This is amazing!

“It is very small, Darling!” Astarion muses, “is that?”

“The Fields of the Dead?” You shout excitedly, “it sure is!”

Astarion initially thought it would be a quick five minute ordeal, but soon you were both flying over all of Elturgard. You soared over the Reaching Woods and the Sunset Mountains. Your last tourist attraction for him was the Lake of Dragons- Astarion swears he has never seen a more bluer blue- before heading back home. Much to Astarion’s disappointment.

You help him navigate his way off of Cala and the Dragon nudges him with her nose as a sign of trust. Astarion scratches her nose before following you back into your shared home.

“What did you think!?”

You whirl around and look at him with wide, nervous eyes. You are playing with your thumbs incessantly like you usually do when you worry you may have disappointed him. It’s such a silly notion- you could never disappoint him.

Astarion pauses your twiddling by taking your hands in his and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“I would like to fly over the Northlander Isles at some point,” he says, “if you would be willing to have me join you on a flight again.”

You beam at him before getting up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his lips.

“Astarion- you are always welcome where I am. I couldn’t think of a better person to see the world and this life with even if I tried.”

He couldn’t help but cry at your statement. Astarion is so grateful to be able to call you his home.

At least Astarion was finally able to worship you properly since Cala kept her promise.

You are riding him as Astarion pushes his hips up to meet your downward thrusts with eager enthusiasm. When both of your climaxes hit- you put your face in the crook of his neck and giggle.

“What’s so funny, Darling?”

You look up at him- hair beautifully messy and eyes looking blissful. Another giggle escapes your lips as you begin to say what you are thinking.

“Save a dragon, ride a Vampire.”

[mosshugs]

Thank you for the tag @bunnyboybosom!! I'm having fun doing these things

-Last song listened to: Time Spent - Deaf Center

-Currently Watching: Several things! Me, Riot, and Fox are working through Desperate Housewives, Soul Eater, and the Scream franchise, and with Dean we're watching Higurashi! With Abby I'm watching House M.D :) If you mean this exact second? The Dead Meat Kill Count for Midsommar

-Currently reading: It's been...many moons since I read a book, I'm afraid. I don't have time, energy, or health for it these days.

-Currently obsession: An even blend between DnD and Child's Play <3 I am very normal. I love our DnD party soooo so much I am abnormal about my little guy. And also supernaturally possessed murder dolls who are stupid.

Tagging: Hmmm I will tag @twyz, @minty-muse. @rainbowdelicsunshine, @enter-the-phantom, @fanficwriter284 and @peri !!

[trucbiduleschouettes]

-Confession Scene, from our latest Noluna DnD session-

Oh boy! Finally done sketching it out! This whole scene between @katarrinskey's bard Calaindo and another player's paladin Corvis was just. Very good, and I wanted to do something around it.

Which, like a normal person, meant deciding sketching all 7 something minutes of it would be a good idea. Three days later, and here we are-

You can hardly see the designs considering how losely sketched this whole ordeal is, but they are all Kat's designs!

Transcript of what's being said under the cut as I know my handwriting is. A nightmare-

[Do not use/repost any of this]

-Corvis: On another note… I would just like to put this out in the open. Before I was very I’m just gonna say this now. I like you. A lot.

-Calaindo: Even after everything?

-Corvis: Especially after everything.wishy-washy about it.

-Calaindo: Okayyy... kind of chuckle Oh boy.

-Corvis: You don’t have to respond, not now at least.

-Calaindo: a- pfff, I’m pretty sure I did say I like you somewhere in that rant last night, so… Look, I am! Spectacularly bad at relationships, and- well, soooo, there is that…

-Corvis: Oh trust me, in the Fey’ you’d probably be one of the best at relationship-

-Calaindo: cuts him no chuckles

-Corvis: There’s sooo many people in the Fey’, they’re so wishy washy. There’s not even a thing known as marriage over there.

-Calaindo: so no life long companionship or anything like that?

-Corvis: Heh, it’s more so that things can change in the drop of a pin.

-Calaindo: hmm.

-Corvis: People don’t like it, they’re not willing to chuff it out.

-Calaindo: okay… that- that still doesn’t mean I’m very good at relationships. It requires trust and lots of talking and…looking for a…middle ground. You know-

-Corvis: Isn’t that what we’re doing here?

-Calaindo: well we’re trying! I guess…

-Corvis: aaand isn’t that what counts in the end?

-Calaindo: yeah… Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is.

-Corvis: Look, I just wanna say- I don’t wanna be wishy washy anymore.

-Calaindo: Then… what is it that you want, exactly?

-Corvis: For us to be together?

-Calaindo: getting high pitched OkAY? chuckles kinda sighs Okay. Again, for the record, I still think you deserve better, but-

-Corvis: As far as I can tell, you’re the best I’ve got.

-Calaindo: I am very sorry about that!

-Both: laughing

-Calaindo: but… if this is what you want… who am I to tell you not to, you know?

-Corvis: Is this what you want?

-Calaindo: Companionship, I want support, I’ve spent way too much time on my own.

-Corvis: I can give you that.

-Calaindo: Can you?

-Corvis: I can. I can make a promise if you want.

-Calaindo: Very! Wary! Of your fey promises! Cause they are very sort of like, rigid and got like no space for movement and like circumstances and-

-Corvis: cutting him Oh, I see what you mean.

-Calaindo: And- and-

-Corvis: Nah, no no no no no, I’m not- I don’t- I don’t mean a fey promise. I mean a - a your plane promise , or I guess what you’d call just a normal promise.

-Calaindo: You don’t have to. I trust you enough to…you know.

-Corvis: Well. Guess as long as you do trust me.

-Calaindo: I do against my better judgement, sometimes.

-Corvis: And, I’ll just say this now. I promise that I won’t leave you. Not again.

-Calaindo: Hmm. Well- Fair enough. Aerm… I do not believe that this is a promise you can keep, cause the world is way too unpredictable and there is too much stuff that is beyond our control… But I also believe that you believe this promise? And, that’s good enough for me.

-Corvis: Very well. pauses I honestly don’t really have a way to end this.

-Calaindo: End what, this conversation?

-Corvis: Yes, this conversation.

-Calaindo: laughs well…me neither! Okay? laughs so…

-Corvis: Just… wanna enjoy this scenery for a bit then?

-Calaindo: Yeah… I would love that.

[riddlerosehearts]

Okay now EYE must ask you - how are you liking BG3??? How far are you?? Tell me about your Tav!!!! (Please and thank you <3)

hi!! 💖 i only started the game a few days ago and it was an impulse decision i made after having previously told a friend of mine that i definitely wanted to play it but that it'd probably take me a while to get around to it (and, because i thought i wouldn't play anytime soon i hadn't really been trying to avoid spoilers). but, i have the PC version and while it generally runs just fine, my computer is kind of slow and the game is so big that it took hours to download and install. so i kind of went ahead and started to come up with a whole character idea during that time LOL. sorry if my explanations of things get a bit too rambly/disorganized. i'm actually not very far in the game at all yet, i've been spending a ton of time doing stuff in the druids grove and i'm supposed to go find halsin but i haven't even gotten karlach in my party yet! i've recruited all the main companions except for her but i am excited to meet her. gonna put the rest of this under a cut for length.

my only background with DND is that i listened to the first campaign of the adventure zone and i've watched the legends of vox machina show. i also have a friend who's super into her own DND campaign and another friend who's told me a lot about dimension 20, specifically fantasy high--and i've considered trying it out for her but haven't gotten around to it yet! i think she actually told me the same thing about the episode lengths making it easier to get into than critical role, because i had tried critical role and it was just so long that i couldn't stick with it. but, yeah, i've also looked at the forgotten realms wiki a bit but i've never actually played DND. i have played skyrim and final fantasy 14 and some other similar RPGs with customizable blank-slate protagonists, and in those types of games i always have to make OCs to roleplay as--usually i'll think up a basic idea to start with and then flesh the character out as i get into the game. they're never really self-inserts but i do often project onto them a little.

so, in games like these my first character is usually an elf that specializes in elemental/destructive magic. idk why, that's just what i've always liked. in ff14 i started out as a black mage without knowing it was the hardest class to play LMAO. soooo i went into this planning to create a high elf sorcerer, but as i started writing out ideas and thinking about what to do, i ended up creating a half-high elf bard. they're transmasc/nonbinary and in my head they use he/they pronouns, but i picked the nb option in the character creator and that causes npcs to actually use they/them in dialogue which i think is so cool. i love that the character creator is so inclusive in regards to gender.

anyway, i named them elenion, which is something i took from the lord of the rings universe because i'm a huge nerd. in LOTR it's an elvish word that basically means "of the stars". here's a couple screenshots i took when i first started. let's just ignore the fact that this hairstyle clips into elf ears (and also that the face preset is from a mod i downloaded).

i didn't really give him a tragic backstory or even the most interesting story haha--i'm wanting to do something bigger and angstier with another character on a second playthrough when i'm more familiar with the lore and world of the game. and i'll probably also end up changing or expanding on some things about this character later, but for now i just kind of made a normal guy with normal problems. i had this idea that his father, a human who attracted the attention of a beautiful elf woman, was also a bard and was a very successful musician in his youth. so elenion has always shared his father's passion and dreamed of being like him, being able to effortlessly tell incredible tales and inspire crowds of people through song, but no matter how much he studies and practices he never feels good enough. if he seems confident it's usually just because he's gotten really good at faking it. he's also pretty reserved and often avoids having to talk about himself by asking a lot of questions. see, i kind of wanted to specifically find a way to not roleplay the usual sort of loud, flirty, goofy bard, lol. not that i dislike those kinds of characters or anything though!

however, bards are meant to be super charismatic, witty, and persuasive and of course the game strongly encourages that with the dialogue options and skill bonuses you get. so my way of explaining this is to have elenion be a bit like raine from the owl house, in that they may be shy, but they're very firm in their ideals and are no pushover when it comes to protecting themself or their allies. they're clever and have a snarky side to them, and they're genuinely friendly and caring in a way that gives them a sense of quiet charisma. which reminds me that one of the spells i gave them at the start was sleep, and it's made me imagine that when they were a kid they tried calming a crying baby by playing a lullaby on their lute and accidentally ended up casting their first spell.

oh, and, i also wasn't really sure at first where in the world i wanted elenion to come from but i decided on something pretty quickly after getting multiple of those dialogue options suggesting that the protagonist is baldurian! i pictured them growing up in a somewhat small town with their family but moving to baldur's gate as an adult, hoping that if they left the comfort of their home and started to journey out into the world a little they'd eventually find their spark and become the bard they wanted to be. unfortunately they've had little luck so far because even after all this time they can't see that maybe their whole fixation on trying to be just like their father and achieve the exact same kind of success that he had is holding them back. the fact that their father died the year after they moved away hasn't helped either. and now, in the middle of traveling to a historical site that they'd wanted to see in person and use as inspiration for a song, they've been abducted by mindflayers and are struggling with the massive upheaval that this has brought into their relatively mundane life.

so. yeah. my tav for this first playthrough may not be the most unique or exciting character but i like him! i like figuring out what kind of choices he'll make and thinking up new ideas for what he likes and how he sees the world. also, i find it funny how in your reply to my ask you said you thought you'd be into gale but then you fell for astarion--because i thought that i'd be all over the edgy, brooding, snarky vampire man, but it turns out gale is so charming and funny that i'm probably going to romance him first. i'm also pretty intrigued by shadowheart and wyll but i'm so early in the game that i can't even say who i think my overall favorite companion will be because they all seem so interesting!! even karlach despite the fact that i haven't actually met her yet, i've seen a bunch of cool gifsets of her and my brother told me he's been romancing her on his playthrough. i really need to go find her soon.

i'm sure you can tell from everything i wrote here that i am definitely enjoying the game LOL. i can already tell that there's just so many different things to do and see, that i will both need and want to do a lot of different playthroughs and that it's going to be something that sticks with me. nothing wrong with using guides and walkthroughs btw! i do it too because i'm worried about missing too many things and have the world's worst sense of direction even with a minimap. honestly i probably need to look up some guides for certain mechanics that i don't feel like i've really figured out yet. there's a sarcophagus trap in the ruins early in the game that got me SO stuck and got my whole party wiped and then i looked up a video and found out you could turn off the whole trap system by pushing a switch... i felt so stupid askjdfgf.

anyway, i think this got to be way too long of a reply so i will stop here! but if you ever wanna tell me more about your tav or anything definitely feel free to and i hope you're having an awesome day!

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for leaving my cowardly ass husband (30ish idk M) to get killed by a weird scientist?

I (20ish idk F) am married to this guy whos like a minor politician (hes not big enoigh to be important but he gets invited to mayoral dinners and shit). While he works and sleeps I (a changeling) sneak out and smuggle goods and stuff for spare change. Ive recently made a few friends that ive been able to smuggle with and poke around with that my husband doesn't know about. Last night, i went to the Mayor's gala dinner with my husband, and my group of friends went in undercover to try and kidnap someone (long story). In the middle of the dinner, a big ass robot stands up and threatens the mayor. I could honestly care less about that stuff, so i just played my normal act of clutching my pearls and shit. Apparently a little bit of chaos means that all hell breaks loose because SOMEONE tried to fucking chloroform me so i stabbed them ofc. But when i tried to get my husband to help me, the fucker had already run away! Cowardly ass mf.

so later on that night i get a note to go to a warehouse that id done a drop at before, so i show up there with my crew. When we get there tho, this weird ass gnome scientist tells me that he hates elves so he kidnapped my husband (btw im in cat form soooo whats a husband never heard of that) and that he wants my skin (ew). So i say fuck that guy fuck the random guy you have tied up over there (my husband) lets fucking run. So i run. Apparently my party member felt bad and untied him and we kinda dumped him on the street, but now hes pissed at me that i left him to die! AITA?? Also how do i make him forget that im a changeling?

(love, @evanotevil my dnd character)

[lostinalem]

I’m too shy to dm but I Am asking you about your fallout OCs, as your bio said ^__^

HELLO I AM GOIGN TO KISE YOU THABK U FOR ASKING ‼️‼️‼️‼️ sorry it took me so long to respond (I had to figure out how to draw them all... phew) and there are sooooo many more BUT these are the ones I actually care about rn (cause all I've been playing is fnv) ok now buckle up because it's a lot 💀

Andy (she/her) is my favvvvvv fallout oc. she's one of four player characters from the fallout dnd campaign I'm in !! I've posted about her like once maybe twice before but she's the loml cringefail rodeo girl and I would do ANYTHING for her. she cannot do social interactions to save her life and I swear all the odds are rigged against her it's so funny. the coolest thing though is she made her own GIANT Giddyup Buttercup to ride!! she grew up in a little rodeo-centered town in Oregon so that was kind of her thing to like. fit in. cause she never really had any friends, so she's like "well, if i can't be liked, then I'll make myself useful" but it didn't really work so when she was old enough she left to hopefully be helpful in other places instead :3 (which is where the campaign comes in in Washington but I can yap about that some other time)

I also lovvveeee Sal (any pronouns) he's an ichthyologist who grew up in southeastern Alaska. while he was out fishing though, he came across a seemingly abandoned cruise ship and decided to board, only to find there were quite a few inhabitants (ghouls, humans, ferals) already! they end up staying and making their home there for a few years, expanding their fish research and setting up trade with their hometown, but everything changed when they found the platinum chip in an old boot they fished up :0 at first, nobody really knew what it was, but this wasn't Sal's first time dealing with pre-war tech and word spread pretty quickly, so soon enough she had her answer LOL and that's what brought her to the Mojave as "the courier" !

Suzette (they/them) is a vault dweller, chronic overthinker, easy to anger, polyglot that doesn't actually like to talk that much, and also "the courier." something in me makes it impossible to make a normal oc they just have to be quirky as hell man 😭😭 not that I'm gonna stop of course. anyway I'm not a religious guy so I'm not the best when it comes to the Bible, but I based their vault off of the Tower of Babel. basically every level of the vault houses a different culture and language! they're all strictly separated though, and Vault-Tec manipulates from the shadows like always, distorting communication, fabricating languages, subliminal messages too or something idk but the point is that they don't work together. the little polyglot over here tho wanted to change that, but they were ostracized for their efforts, eventually leading to them getting kicked out :( out in the wasteland, they then started courier work because they saw it as an opportunity to use their linguistic skills for good, travelling the wasteland, connecting different cultures, learning more languages, yadda yadda they've got terrible fashion btw 2000's inspiration just for the fun of it :)

okkkk soooo Esme (she/her) is Benny's bride :3 Esme grew up in Goodsprings but always wished for a bigger, more glamourous life. She wanted to be a star. So, when she was in her late 20's, she moved closer to the Strip and began chasing that life. She worked in shows whenever she could and at some point bumps into Benny and falls madly in love. So much so that she breaks into his room and snoops, accidentally finding Yes Man. She gushes about Benny to him and learns that Benny is looking for the Platinum Chip, so that's what she sets her sights on next. She gets the chip, I haven't really decided how yet, but she uses it as leverage to get Benny to marry her. They're not like, strangers, btw. They're well acquainted, and Esme thinks they're friends, but Benny doesn't like her back. Anyway, they're promptly married in Goodsprings. They steal away to the cemetery after the ceremony for some alone time, and that's when Benny shoots her twice in the heart and flees the scene with the chip. Victor is the only one who was suspicious of what was going on, and dug her up, much to the others' surprise. When Esme recovered, she was still madly in love with Benny. She convinced herself it was just a mistake, that he didn't actually mean what he said, and that if she just found him again and explained her devotion, that he would take her back.

... they r supposed to be identical twins except I cannot draw the same person twice for the LIFE of me so just imagine ok hehe Reed (right, he/him) is technically the courier, BUT he was disabled in the Divide, so now Beck (left, also he/him) usually carries out his deliveries for him. most people wouldn't be able to really tell them apart, so it's not a problem—until Benny shoots Beck in the head. now, Reed is usually very friendly and outgoing, but when the "death" of his brother reaches him, he changes. the need for revenge consumes him. Beck, on the other hand, wakes up with NO memory of his past. in fact, due to the delivery note on him, he thinks *he's* Reed. unfortunately, everyone else also thinks they're the same person and it gets really confusing and really silly. and also really sad.

If u read all this, hi :3 which one do u think is the coolest?

[wubblebubbleballxtream]

got back into the boys and remembered about this IM SOOOO VERY NORMAL ABOUT THIS STILL BTW I AM FINE I AM NOT FREAKING OUT OVER MY FAVORITE DND GROUP AND MY FAVORITE BOY ACKNOWLEDGING EACHOTHER IME FINE

NARRATOR??????? YOUR NARRATOR????? ?????????

[arkhavens]

im changing so many random background things in my star wars dnd camapign that my players will probably never come across except like. in passing. tyvokkas alive. qui gon survives naboo n takes anakin as his padawan. obiquin knight pair. trans clones.

[goddessjynx]

Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

[aximili]

drafted this from @dominocity ages ago and forgot abt it until i was procrastinating just now :0

check in tag game ✅

1. why did you choose your url?

went by axx for a very long time (incredibly this actually had nothing to do with aximili-esgarrouth-isthill even tho i did grow up loving animorphs. i had an OC who used the online handle axolotl.... something... i cant remember.... and i thought it sounded cool so i started using it. wow i had actually forgotten this info until just now! lore!) anyway someone on tumlr reminded me how much i loved animorphs and i wanted a new url at the time. someone just had it saved and wasnt using it so i was like fuck it, why not ask. politely messaged the blog and they were like oh ya i forgot abt this and freed it up

2. any side blogs? if you have them name and them and why you have them.

i have like 6 but i no longer use any of them & havent for years lmaoooo

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i think its a decade this year. and ive never changed blogs once. im like a fungal infection here they cant get rid of me

4. do you have a queue tag?

i have never queued and i never will. you get my posts when you get em.

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

a lot of my friends on deviantart (yes dear god) were becoming more active here and i started checking some humour blogs daily until i was eventually like why not just make an account

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Him. (from the cover of #8 the alien, the first ax pov book, which i found in a 2nd hand bookshop as a kid and was soooo excited bc i could normally only read animorphs at the library, they were never in shops. still a treasured possession.)

7. why did you choose your header?

it just really describes my emotional state at any given time

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

unfortunately i believe it's this, which is not even my original content nor even the OP's original content, as it turned out. but "online job application form" dnd joke is probably second

9. how many mutuals do you have?

who the got damn hell is keeping track of this?

10. how many followers do you have?

1439. its been around this number for like 2 years i really just stagnated at a certain point but idm

11. how many people do you follow?

968. to paraphrase lydia, i suppose i should follow 1 more. (im sure that at least half of those are inactive. i have been here for a decade.)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

by no means. none of my posts are shit

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

uhhhhhhhh i probably open it and glance at activity/briefly glance at my dash llike 5 times a day? a lot less now that i use locked twitter for socialisation

14. did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?

god no i am incredibly nonconfrontational. a couple times in my younger and more vulnerable years id post some stupid uninformed take and someone would rightfully disagree, and occasionally vice versa, but i honestly can't recall a "fight"

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

it's good to only follow adults the dashboard becomes a peaceful place

16. do you like tag games?

yes i like talking about myself 😊 but i never tag anyone bc im lazy oops.

17. do you like ask games?

i rarely do them bc i would usually not get any lmao, but they can be fun

18. which of your tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

alma my friend alma seems to get a lot of nonsense in their inbox even tho they only post abt yugioh. eliza was definitely my most famous mutual but she freed herself from this place to become a real author, godspeed. and logan really blew up with "your dad looks gnc af" most recently

i think i have some more well known mutuals (again. been here 10 years.) but i cant think of them rn lmao sorry if ur a famo and i excluded u.

generally people think i have a lot more followers than i actually have? it's hard to gauge whether that's a compliment or not, but i take it as one.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i have crushes on like everyone i meet it's called being bisexual </3

20. tags?

i tag...... YOU yes you. if u want!

[agidolan]

OMG UR SOOOO CORRECT

I will say I don’t watch as much of riptide so i don’t have the biggest info there but my reasonings for the characters were

jay - fits her dnd kit and it also has a good theme of freedom, she def got her vision when she decided to be with the riptide pirates. i think her kit is the most straight forward

chip - i decided pyro mainly because of his current thing (again am not that knowledgeable about riptide) but it seems like it fits his trickster personality as well, pyro characters seem to be the most eclectic in my eyes. i love love love ur kit mechanics

gillion - hydro could also work really well with his theme of justice. I did electro for the vibes alone. electro has the theme of ambition and i think it somewhat works for him but hydro probably works better. & i was thinking he also had some gambling mechanic in his skill (either creates a shield or does a large blast of damage) tying into the prophetic screw up idea. the healing bit was part of his “self sacrifice” identity but i think it could possibly work similar to kokomi’s burst - a damage buff that also heals other party members

Dakota Cole - Dakota Cole

william - yes i am so right about cryo catalyst & yes his wisp form is his burst - would be cool if he had a dashing mechanic similar to hu tao in his wisp form. I love the geo construct idea and i think his wisps would be his normal attacks.

vyncent- dude is so hard to pin down into genshin. i like hydro bc of the justice theme and he’s dealing with that in his current character arc. fuck it new dagger weapon class just for vynce there u go buddy

ashe - catalyst definitely. and ok hear me out but he’s dendro. It ties into the theme of wisdom & he has shit going on where his wisdom is both to his detriment & benefit. i also think dendro is the element of connection or at the very least all dendro charas have a close relationship with someone else & that fits his arc as well. I think it would be so sad if he got his vision when he got taken over by the trickster and it’s laying dormant until ashe is saved. mechanics wise he would be an off field dps similar to fischl or miko with a summon based turret. He also gets the alternate burst like mona but it’s with the heelies

hiii other jrwi and genshin fan & i fucking loove jrwi genshin here r my thoughts :)

jay - anemo bow - self explanatory, gets a gun in burst

chip- pyro sword - can use dual swords, just have one be different than other. burst probably shoots a canon or smthn

gillion - electro claymore - burst reliant character that focuses on shielding other characters at cost of health

dakota- pyro catalyst - very hard to get out from the heizou vibe but there r so many types of martial arts so i feel like it can b different enough

vyncent - hydro polearm?? - changes between stances like childe - man i do not know his weapon but polearm seems fun

william - cryo catalyst - similar life suck mechanic to hu tao or xiao

AWESOME AWESOMEAWESOME i was also thinling anemo for jay!! i wasnt sure if i was on the right track there since i dont know much abt the lore implications of anemo but im glad u agree. i think shed be a charged shot fiend like ganyu to match the sureshot title ^_^ has a marking mechanic similar to childe that gives her bonus dmg on her ult (my version of hunters mark) and her ult is similar to dilucs in that it is a massive fucking bird like her zephyr strike. noo clue what her skill would be though

chip gave me sooo much trouble i think.god. riptide spoilers ahead i guess but his skill could turn his single sword to dual blades where one is entirely pyro similar to the blades he gets from rufus? i cant fully remember how they work though. mechanically its either be a set duration like xingqius rainswords or it could be a stance change like childe.burst i have absolutely nothing but i thought also about giving him a skill similar to rosarias that lets him teleport behind opponents since a) kaeya has teleportation bc of his abyss connections, chip has connections to the black sea, kinda similar there i think it would be a neat parallel, b) chip goes behind people fucking CONSTANTLY a large ampunt of his attacks are him attacking from the front then flipping over them to get their back too and c) literally in the mnm oneshot his power was teleportation. though i suppose that could just be in his na string like kaeya and still be cool

gillion electro IS SO COOL... i had him hydro since like its His Thing but i cant remember anythingg about the reasonings for electro visions so i wasnt sure if i could go for it. thank you also for reminding me the word claymore i can never remember it either. i had his skill down as similar to shinobus too (with elements of barbaras so it reduces incoming dmg too) but with a burst more like .. raidens skill? provides a damage buff to the active character along with dealing damage maybe and his healing would scale off attack

dakota i have said enough about but i really do think pyro catalyst maryial artist could be cool if i like. knew enough about heizous kit to make them different enough

vyncent i am at a LOSS for. most of my vision knowledge is about cryo and i know he isnt that. i had him as sword just because its the shortest range and the closest to a dagger?? stance change to archer is a must but i do also wanthim to be able to change to claymore? and even catalyst? but i cant mechanically come up with ANYTHING. maybe he just has unlimited stance changes with like. a 5 sec cooldown between shifts? that deals some dmg every time he shifts just automatically. i would like his ranger/archer form to have an infusion to make them similar to yoimiya because i think that would be cool but such is life. his burst would be different dependimg on what stance hes in when he casts it, sometimes its healimg sometimes its a buff field sometimes its pure dmg, etc

william cryo catalyst FOR REAL. a lifesteal mechanic is so fucking sick i didnt think of that before. i thought about him a lot i def think his wisp form would be his ult. his skill would be some sort of construct (ie ghostshaping) similar to something like albedo or zhomglis that deals damage and debuffs enemies while hes off field and then comes out for his burst. i think a life drain like xiaos would be coolest, he def does a lot of charged atks during his ult so incread atk speed is in there too + resistence to interruption and maybe even a shield?? like yanfeis c4

[dionysia]

modern au christine daaé headcanons, not at all because anyone asked, but bwcause i am a self indulgent bastard

so like

yes. i have already posted this. or at least i HAD. but SOMEHOW, i deleted the original post. and then i found a backup on my google drive! and it's 1am and the emotional turmoil this put me through ALMOST killed me.

she loves horror movies. if it’s on a screen, she is completely immune to jumpscares. she can quote the entirety of the shining from memory.

she has gotten high exactly one (1) time, and this was at a small get together at meg’s house. mme giry had to drive her home, she was completely out of it.

she is also incredibly lightweight. she’ll almost get tipsy just from thinking about wine.

she gets very swedish when she’s drunk. like whatever composed english or american accent she might have gotten down, just goes straight out the window if she gets tipsy

her accent normally is like… that one vaguely ambiguous but legit sounding accent scandinavians pick up when they learn english through consuming american and british media interchangeably

except her intonation is swedish as hell

😭😭😭 iMm sleep deprived

she has an absolutely terrible sense of direction. do Not leave her to her own devices inside a store, you might never find her again.

her go-to outfit is like, a maxi skirt, a hoodie and a knee-length coat.

somehow she’s good at juggling fruit. don’t let her near a basket of apples. she will juggle it.

she has a cat, a grumpy ass persian, and his name is skimbleshanks

she has a rotary dial phone in her apartment, which she actually uses. yes, in modern aus. as in 2020.

on the topic of her apartment, it sort of just looks like monica’s apartment in friends

she actually just sucks at cooking. really good at cracking eggs though

her hands are always very cold, but she has never once in her life considered buying gloves.

she will often be found sitting on tables and countertops.

she calls herself bisexual if asked, because she kissed meg at a party once and she has never regretted it in the slightest.

she knows how to lockpick, and she refuses to disclose where she learnt this.

(sorelli taught her. that’s it. that’s all there is.)

she’s also good friends with raoul’s sisters!

basically she’ll make friends with anyone if you leave her in a room with them

she’s a friend machine

in high school she got lost on her way to choir rehearsal and ended up in the wrong room, so she became an honorary member of the dnd club

she used to look up to carlotta as well, but that sort of ended when carlotta started being mean. not that she didn’t sympathize with the poor girl

she has Really bad eyesight and almost never wears her glasses. she’ll just bump into shit at random

also swears like a sailor when she’s properly angry. sometimes in swedish, sometimes not

at the same time as she’s stupidly naive she’s incredibly easy to rile up in arguments

she had a horse girl phase

and knows Way More about horses than what is necessary for a normal person to know

also used to be obsessed with the western show “bonanza”

the aesthetics really appealed to her

she can name every pre gen 6 pokemon

no no i mean it seriously she can list them

from memory in like pokedex order

she owns a great many mugs

like soooo many

she also hates unpredictability. like, surprises? she does not like em at all. small things are fine! like being surprised with tiny gifts. that's fun! but big things... surprise parties and such... she will Sob

she also gets very homesick. especially if she's stressed over something

[thedisorganizationofelliot]

podcasts

This past year I’ve gotten really into podcasts as a way to help manage my adhd, so i’ve gone through quite a few of them and i thought about making my own rec post. obviously i have adhd and was putting it off lol but my friend expressed interest so here’s the list of podcasts that i’ve gotten through at least a full season of and loved.

The Bridge

10/10 erie atmosphere

"A podcast about the fictional Transcontinental Bridge, the people who live there, and the stories they leave behind. Oh, and monsters."

The Magnus Archives

holy crap this is so well done. it’s horror so i can’t listen to it to help me sleep but if you want fear and true spookiness this is great. the main character is a department head for an institute that deals in the paranormal. his job is to record ppl’s statements of the weird unexplainable things that happen to them. but he’s more on the skeptic side of things which creates just enough humor to get me through a horror podcast. queerness does happen in the background. 

The Adventure Zone

i feel like if you’re looking for fiction podcasts you’ve already heard of the adventure zone. three brothers and their dad play tabletop rpg. it’s hilarious and made me cry. when they accidently do something like say kill the first lesbian couple on the show, they actually do make up for it and apologize for not realizing. their solution was to keep giving us so many lgbt characters that i didn’t even notice that the first were playing into the bury your gays trope until i went back and listen to their the the adventure zone zone eps. 

Victoriocity

 do you want quirky crime solving steampunk adventure? bc this show will give you just that. It’s full steampunk victorian london shenanigans. reminds me of patrick carmen’s writing a bit if you read his books as a kid i’d highly recommend this. 

Inn Between

okay this is a show that’ll give you a toothache. it’s all found family adorableness. it takes place in the inn that the group goes to in between dnd adventuring. it’s very heartwarming and i adore all the characters. 

The Penumbra Podcast

if i only had the choice of listening to one podcast ever again, this would probably be the one i choose. its so goddamn good and so goddamn queer. they’ve given me my dream sci-fi world and fantasy. there’s a canon poly relationship that i love soooo much.

The Amelia Project

what does one do when they want to disappear? why call the amelia project of course! each episode starts with a phone call, involves hot coco, and crazy schemes to make ppl disappear. 

Girl in Space

i can’t say too much about this without giving things away. there’s a girl alone on a spaceship with a very important job and a copy of jurassic park. then suddenly she’s not alone and it turns out that her ship is full of something very valuable and isn’t technically hers.

if you want space adventures about friendship not romance this is one for you. seriously i love it so much.

The Strange Case of Starship Iris

this one is totally completed. it’s short. in my eyes it’s a better firefly. you’ve got your morally questionable main crew (and the pilot is an alien bc they’re not cowards) who take morally questionable jobs. they end up picking up the only survivor of starship iris and well there’s some fishy things that happened that everyone wants to figure out. 

We Fix Space Junk

do you fear corporations taking over the world and charging so much for things that you’ll be in debt for life? well this is your fears come true.  it’s lighthearted tone makes things even more unsettling at times. it’s main plot is between a women who’s been working off the debt of her ship for way too long and her new, previously an heiress, apprentice. 

Be the Serpent

three red headed fantasy authors talk about books and fanfiction and make dick jokes. i love them.

Death by Dying

i dont really know how to explain this one. it’s kinda got a pushing daisies style to it. the obituary writer goes around and sorta accidentally solves murders while he’s doing his research.

Eos 10

did you want a scrubs in space? bc this is scrubs with space pirates, a reluctant recovering alcoholic, a hypochondriac disposed alien prince who is now a dishwasher planning to a kitchen revolution, a nurse who’d could kill you but has, hopefully, decided to help you.  it’s pure shenanigans. they get into so much craziness. definitely has that found family vibe bc i know what i’m about.

King Falls AM

did you also listen to nightvale in highschool but gave up on it after 20 or so episodes bc it didn’t really have a plot? then this is perfect for you. two dudes run a late night talk show in a perfectly normal town. it’s completely normal to have ghosts that move road signs, a lake monster, a vampire???, alien abductions, and calling your favorite local radio station about all these totally normal happening and how you can’t believe they’re interfering with the fishing tournament. 

i’ll be honest this was annoyingly boy heavy for me at first. the only women at first seemed to be the perfect librarian, the soccer mom,  and gwendolen the racist witch. but then there’s a plot about punching himminsts and all these women getting fed up. so i think it's totally worth it. THEY GET FLESHED OUT EVENTUALLY 

The Bright Sessions

for a podcast about a therapist to ppl with superpowers this one stresses me out. which is good. i mean there’s a lot going on and a shady government agency

The Ordinary Epic

a group of fictional ppl play as fictional dnd characters. Season one left me on kinda a cliff hanger and idk how to feel about it. It entertained me, so like a 6/10 maybe a 7? so far. 

The Two Princes

gaaaaaaaaay if you want a fairytale romance this is the place to be.