#i am so mentally stable its insane

[h3avenlyh0st]

im cooked

[triglycercule]

dust with a fucked up savior complex save me dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME!!!! he's literally sooo savior complex coded. he killed his underground to "save" everyone and stop the human from killing them. he thinks that it's better that he does the murdering instead of the human because he has better intentions. he's sad at the beginning (rightfully so) but savior complex dust really gets so much cooler when you add in the fact that dust eventually started to LIKE killing his underground 😭😭 like just..... imagine a manic dust who's gone mad going around claiming he's helping everyone with what he's doing when he's really,,,, not. soo cool.,,, (like dude how are you SAVING people if they don't exist after you've killed the person who was killing them. there is nobody to be safe but yourself anymore) (can you tell this was inspired by the one comic of dust killing his papyrus and saying "it was better if i did it" or something)

but also also on the other hand,,,,, revenge fueled dust??? he's gotten SO bitter from the repeated resets and genos that he's genuinely bitter enough to risk it all to stop the human. he doesn't have pure intentions in this one. dust doesn't claim he's saving anybody with what he's doing murdering them all. he KNOWS it's bad and wrong and hypocritical but he does it anyways because he wants to not only stop the human but to make them suffer. he purposely wants them to keep coming back after killing them just so he can kill them over and over and over and have them experience a fragment of the suffering he did with having all of his friends and family killed. but i think a revenge fueled dust (in contrast to savior complex dust) would be a lot cooler if he still felt shitty for killing everyone. it's painful to do but hate is stronger than love and dust's hate for the human is MUCH stronger than his love for the underground atp

[sqvirely]

thinking about knights on the clock

[nomairuins]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[adetheenby]

someone on here once said how a discomfort character is a character you relate to and it makes you feel unwell, thats me but with the fuckin shit people in fandom are sayin bout this character LIKE OKAY FUCK DID YOU GO THROUGH TO BE SO SPECIFIC ABOU IT

[kowaiish]

If I could just please stop overthinking every tiny nuance in behavior and immediately fearing the worst that would be great.

[doodlefartzz]

I AM SO MENTALLY STABLE ITS INSANE!! I have bpd!! Beautiful princess disorder !

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 5 | Whispers Of Madness

summary: ever since one unfortunate day, you havent felt the same mentally. The dark entity that now permanently stabled a special place in your mind, making you go more insane with each passing minute. Whenever you try to reach out for help to the one person you trust, being your best friend matthew he always argues that nothing is actually there and your brain is messing with you but you know more than youve lead onto. Are you going to finally shatter and possibly lead to murder, or maybe finally banish the evil living inside of you?

warnings: ANGST, demon possession, dark entity, murders, mental health issues, satanic language, dark topics, suicide, police involvement, heavy language, blood everywhere, choking, skin bruising, mysterious black goop, viewers advisory is supervised! Proceed continue reading caution!

authors note: somehow we’ve made it to day 5 of consistently posting fics wohoo !! This one took me a portion of my time and this week has been pretty busy for me so I’m surprised I got this far, hope yall enjoy this bc I surely did writing it

no nut november | masterlist | guestlist

Ever since that unfortunate night, I have never felt the same mentally nor physically. A constant demonic voice mocking my every move and slowly driving me towards insanity, flashes of a dark entity remain stuck and impossible to get out of my mind, making me want gouge my eyes out to escape through death. Sometimes i dont even recognize myself in the mirror, just noticing each and every one of the changes in my physical apperance as well as my behavior and I think if others noticed them too or do am I the old me to them? or have I never actually changed and my mind can somehow create physical forms of different versions of me on its own?

- The night of the incident

I slowly stirr awake in the middle of the night due to strange noises my ears keep picking up, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand I glance out the window to see nothing but pitch-black ahead of me. The soft moonlight being the only available source of light pouring into the room, my eyes scan the dark room for a possible source behind the strange noises. Its almost like whispering but not human whispers in particular, almost like a demonic voice... yeah no, demons dont exist so there no such possibility. Just to be sure Im not going completely insane I do a double check but now looking harder into the dark to try and justify the source of the noise is nothing harmless.

Thats until I see something dark looming in the corner of my room.

It appears to be a shadow but with a dark and demonic energy radiating off it, my eyes scan the whole silhouette and get stuck on a pair of brigh red eyes staring down at me becomes imprinted in my mind permanently which sends a cold chill down my whole body, making me rise in awareness and fear, my body immediately waking and becoming completely stiff, my abilty to move vanishing from my grasp of control. The dark shadow figure starts to step closer to me and my instincts kick in, subconsciously backing away from the proximity of the red-eyed creature as it stands at the foot of it. "W-who are you?" I shakingly breath out, my mind becoming consumed with fear and theories that this could possibly be the end of my life.

The red-eyed figure doesnt make a sound or a single move, my breathing now labored and heavy as it continues to stare down at my shaking form. Feeling completely vulnarble and defendless, it’s like theres no escape and I've been trapped, even cornered in the dark depths of my mind. "Agite... Tenebrae... Abyssi..." I hear a faint demonic whisper, identical to the ones I've heard before and realize where its coming from. Suddenly I get a shock down my whole body, almost as if a feeling of being possesed or something possibly entering my soul and attaching itself to it.

I convince my overthinking mind its nothing and Im just imagining things now, this is not real. Demons dont exist and they surely can't possess you, right? it cant be real, its not. Shaking my head to throw away any possible negative thoughts left behind and lay my head back down on my pillow, attempting to sleep of the demonic energy I still feel coursing through my veins. My mind manages to slowly drift off to sleep, my eye lids falling heavy as I slip into unconsciousness but the demonic whispers still remaining surrounding the shell of my ears.

- A month after the incident - Present day

A sudden snap of Matt’s fingers in front of my face kicks me out of the negative energy in my mind, him giving me an unamused expression and sighing. “You seriously weren’t paying attention again?” He annoyingly huffs, his lips becoming a thin line as his arms cross over his chest. “I’m sorry, I was just-“ while I am in the middle of my sentence and want to explain myself, the demonic whispers cut me off and start whispering in my ear until I look around and see him. The red-eyes creature. No matter how hard I want to take my eyes away from him, they just refuse to move alongside with my body. Just becoming frozen all of a sudden, “What? Are you good?” He stammered visibly shadowed with concern, his eyes darting around the room to find the spot my eyes are stuck on but is met with a simple empty room.

“What are you staring at?” He pondered, still in desperate search to find something I could possibly be staring at with such horror contouring my features. My breath starts to become more deep and shaky, the same feeling I felt coursing through my veins every time it appears, it’s almost like it’s making its appearance known before hand. Matt finally snaps me back to reality, jerking one of my shoulders to give him a response to his worried questions, when I look at Matt’s face and back where it was standing. It’s gone. It’s not there anymore. “Where did it go?” I mumbled with a trembling bottom lip, becoming tense and more aware of my surroundings. “What do you mean by ‘where did it go’ ? You’re fucking freaking me out Eli.” He inquired, still anxiously looking around before moving closer to me. Immediately noticing me tense up for some reason he doesn’t have the knowledge of and I just wouldn’t speak about it.

“It’s fucking not there anymore! It’s gone, again!” I clutch Matt’s arm into my chest, seeking any comfort and safeness I could get a grasp on. The whispers start again, this time approaching me closer until I feel a faint icy breath breathe down my neck which makes me flinch. “ǨḐlēʃ-tū yǫur crēāṭōr, ǝLizaʊƃth…” my hands immediately go to cover my ears, the satanic words echoing in my head and bouncing off every wall, almost delivering me a headache. Under my breath I keep begging it to stop, to release me from the hellish cage it’s trapped me in against my will just to torment and demolish all that’s left of my soul that it hasn’t destroyed yet. My mental health wasnt the best before and it just got worse after, I reached out for help to everyone I could but they either called me schizophrenic or ‘completely gone off the rockers’ by professionals, refusing to help me and ignore the actual issue.

“Is it this again? Seriously Eli, you have to stop scaring me like that!” He argues, becoming slightly annoyed. No matter how much I tell him about this mister lurking in the shadows, he just says ‘you need to get some professional help or go to a psychiatrist’ but when I tell him the stories regarding the ‘getting professional help’ that they ignore me and don’t believe demons actually have a possibility of existing. “You didn’t believe in this demon shit and always denied it, why do you suddenly act like you got possessed by a damn demon or something?” In that moment it hits me, the realization and theory of being actually possessed by a demon hits my head and if we’re an object I would possibly get a concussion.

“I’m not! It’s just that… oh, forget it. It’s gone now so it doesn’t matter.” I state, taking a deep breath to wash away all of the emotions I’ve been feeling at once in a single moment. It’s shocking how much my body can take and has taken ever since it appeared in my life, or does it? Maybe my mind likes to think and make it seem like I’m doing good but in reality I’m loosing my mind completely? When is it going to end? How do I make it end? Questions rise in my head as I start to overthink and get my anxiety to an impossible level. “Eli, what the fuck has been happening with you? You seem completely psychotic like those possessed girls in horror movies.”

“I-I don’t know what I am at this point, please just go home and stay safe. I’ve scared you enough already I don’t want to give you a heart attack” I breathe out, gesturing for him to go away as I my ears perk up with the demonic soft whispers coming back, the dark figure standing right in front of me. I immediately cover my ears as the whispers get louder and louder, suddenly I feel a pair of cold hands wrap around my neck and pure force starting to pull me upwards into the air. I become short on breath as Matt freaks out and quickly runs over to my body in the air, now being face to face with the black figure. My arms immediately attempt to remove the arms off my neck for more air but it only tightens its grip, Matt pulls at my feet but it’s not much affective. The red gloomy eyes staring into my soul and twisting my insides with the dark energy possessing my body.

The world around me becomes silent and I can’t hear whats happening around me. “Ǩo ǃàdêr ȯf Ḑoom, ʔou Ƀhall kjømbāť ʔo ʃiln Ǫne ȯf ḏhe ʔeḥples ȯf Ꮑȯvær lǟv or ʔe ťæpt ǝn ḟi ʃhyād ǷārtǤ, ȯy ʗhǯice ElizǞbeth. ȶime Ƀ is spiraling ȯut…” the sentence constantly keeps being repeated until my ears start to bleed but I don’t feel blood coming out of my ears, some kind of cold black goop starts to escape through my ears as I finally get released. Falling back onto the ground with a loud thud and coughing hysterically, the pain and bruises spreading across my body as well as deep purple marks saturate my neck. I feel this sudden urge, something driving me up to my breaking point, willing to do anything to escape this hell.

Matthew quickly runs over to me, examining my body and the bruises left as horror and concern fill his features. “A-are you okay? Are you bleeding anywhere?- oh fuck!” He stammered, noticing the mysterious black goop coming out of my ears. His eyes were so focused on my body he didn’t notice it at first, seeking as if he couldn’t handle all of this happening at once and neither was I but he was scared out of his mind when I was left with no emotions in my face. My mind backtracks to the demonic words spoken to me and somehow I feel I know what to do, I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s like I’m some kind of puppet in a show being controlled on how I’m supposed to act, I pick myself up and walk towards the kitchen while ignoring the concerned questions falling from Matt’s mouth.

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this but I can’t live like this anymore, he follows behind me and into the kitchen. My body starts to almost move on its own as if someone else had full control over it, reaching into the drawer where all of my knifes are kept and pick up the sharpest blade I own. Rising it into the air and turning to face Matthew, his anxiety immediately spikes to ungodly levels as he puts his now trembling hands. “What are you doing with that? Elizabeth, put it down!” Desperate demands leave his mouth in attempt to make me out down the possible weapon in my possession but I don’t listen, as much as I don’t want to do it, I might be my only way of escaping.

I charge at Matthew and stab him in the chest multiple times as hysteric cries leave my mouth while he screams bloody. His blood squirts all over my clothes and stain them, he falls to the ground and quickly I jump on top of him to weight him down and deliver a stab to immobile his arms, more blood covers our clothes, faces and the floor all together as I continue to cry out apologizes and explanations. “I’m sorry… I have to do this, I’m so sorry, Matt I’m sorry but I have to…” I cry out as blood and tears run my cheeks, to end the miserable pain he is experiencing I swing high into the air, gripping the handle of the bloody knife with both of my hands before apologizing for the last time and plunge the knife through his head which kills him in an instant.

My hands finally detach from the knife and immediately go up to my face, wiping off the blood and pouring tears from my face. Loud sobs fall from my mouth at what I have done, I just killed my best friend. Out of pure cold blood I killed my best friend, I-I’m a monster, a psychopath and everything fucked up. I am the demon… the demonic figure whispers another sentence in the weird language it has been using ever since trying to communicate to me but now it sounds more evil, like curses stuck to my name by the black shadow and following me around anywhere I go. “Ǫne lǻst stȅp ǵhǵn ɓe dǿne, ȵaM Ƀǿ̃e ȅt Ƀe ǵhǵe ȶǿ Ƿȯrld ȩfree, hāv ǵʍоḏ tɼȯ ḏon sǿlf ɴǿw. Ḕdǿn ḥesīṭȅte, ȅLīzǝbeth.”

The same feeling of knowledge runs down my spine, realizing what I’ll have to do next in order to be set free. My hands go back and take the knife out of Matthew’s dead body and line the sharp tip with where my heart lies, I close my eyes shut and with one swing I plunge the cold bloody knife into my heart. My body falling down next to Matthew’s already dead one, hearing the faint sirens of police in the distance as I slip into unconsciousness but by the time they make it to the kitchen, my body disappeared and only with the bloody knife left on the ground. It was evident two people have been killed in the process regarding the blood bath that was created but no matter how long or how hard they searched for my body, it was just gone. Almost as if a dark entity dragged it down with them to the deepest pits of hell…

Guestlist!

| - @sturnioloblues - @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @luvvs4chriss - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknot - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - @phone4pills - @emely9274 - @cupiidk1lls - @lily-strnlo - @nicksgirlfriend - |

[kaelio]

I’ve been loving your IWTV stuff but I haven’t watched the show or read the books. What is it about Anne Rice’s writing that makes it so insane?

Okay, I'm going to do a relatively long post probably.

First off, I want to make it clear that my love of her writing is completely unironic. I genuinely think that she is great. So I do want to lay that down because it's foundational to everything else I'll say.

Her writing is insane for a few reasons. The most basic of these reasons is that, I really think that she was intrinsically out of step with contemporary standards of mental wellness. On the other hand, I am not convinced she was as chemically or... neurologically?... insane as she's generally described. She had a lot of Experiences and those experiences fed into a perception of the world that is notable and characteristic, if borderline indecipherable, and it comes through in what she produced.

These books are steeped in very real trauma, and very real trauma that the world directly rewarded her for experiencing. I'm not sure if the rawness of that trauma was why she was so brazen about exposing it in IWTV, but whatever the reason, "story about how my child died and my marriage can't survive and I can't see any reason for living" made Anne Rice a bona fide recognizable author and commercial success. If "vampires are made from trauma", well consider that metaphor to have carried into the real world. Vampires did in fact give Anne Rice power and wealth (and furthermore, I'd argue, for her, they became essentially household gods).

There's that post that goes around about how Van Gogh made his best work (and really most of his work, period) when he was most stable. I'd posit that the world told Rice the opposite in explicitly material terms, and maybe there was a feedback loop there. Hard to say.

She did write shamelessly and almost aggressively. Her writing doesn't feel carefully tailored or polished for "an audience". It rejects many of the patterns you see in modern fiction (despite being wildly influential for several genres!). It highlights patterns you take for granted in other fiction because of how fundamentally it violates them. I'll splice together bits of a conversation I was having in another window:

me: And I do think that there's an interesting point to be made that the self-infatuation and the people-pleasing actually go hand-in-hand

Because there's a congratulatory aspect to having written something that you know will please other people

Like congratulating yourself ahead of time for the good person that other people are going to tell you that you are

3rd: and that also means you're afraid of writing anything that challenges or stretches the audience

which means you're writing pap

a friend and I were discussing R.F. Kuang whose book Babel was pitched as a 'response' to Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell and ... is not only not in the same league as that book but isn't even playing the same sport

This wasn't us discussing Anne Rice at all, she just feels relevant to it. We're getting increasingly streamlined stories which hit the "right" beats, but they're unsatisfying because they have no authentic skeleton. Why do people still respond to Toy Story but Inside Out is nearly forgotten? I despised Inside Out on its release because it perfunctorily landed all of its beats, but it's only pretending to have something to say. What it does pretend to say is... palatable. But it isn't interesting. It won't change you and it won't inspire a change in you, or give you the material to change yourself.

I go back to this comment over and over by @fofoqueirah because it's genuinely perfect. Peerless distillation:

But people often genuinely cannot write this way! It's overly revealing. We reflexively balk. How or why she didn't is hard to say, but it's gallingly, often horrifyingly, unapologetic. It's unapologetic for things it should probably be apologetic for.

Anyway, her writing is also maddeningly inconsistent, book-by-book, page-by-page, paragraph-by-paragraph, but it's thrilling in part due to its inconsistency. But when it's on, it's so fucking on. However, it's not didactic in any comprehensible way. There are quotes about how she trusted her meaning to come through in the end, which is hilarious because...?? I think you can derive more thematic meaning from a random pattern than you can from these books!! These books are less thematically straightforward than nonsense!

And she herself would regularly dump comments and lore and various things which made it all even weirder. God, I don't even feel like I'm scratching the surface here.

This woman had some kind of relationship with power, capitalism, BSDM, gender, family, religion, brain-eating, and dolls and God help us because she tried to tried to explain it to us and held back nothing and some times you're still. just. a wee babe in the woods.

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-Read: The Remington Comic [PART 1]

(but only the bits with Joris)

While I usually try to go about this blog in an in-universe chronological way, I have to jump forward to Wakfu era here — because the next stop in this blog's plan is the actual, released games of the franchise. Which will take around... a million years, I assume?

TOME 10

Worlds most mentally stable demigod. This excerpt from Otakia is included for my Ush-loving readers, and also to give some context: this guy is keeping some of Remington's besties captive, besides turning his brother into a cat.

"Wait… you're taking me to a… bazaar? am I dreaming?" "Pff… wait till you see what's inside."

In the past tome of this comic, Remington and Grany received a tip, that there exists a magical item that can help them, and an address to a shop, as well as the name "Beating Heart".

ALSO. The store has door chimes. Cute.

"Anyone?" "Yeah, I've seen enough." "They have potions, at least." "Grrr..." "What is that thing?" "??"

They don't seem to really like the place, lol.

"Let's see… "The Treasures of Kerubim"… O.K… We're looking for someone called "Beating Heart."" "Is he the owner of this store?" "Anyone home?" "If we can't find this clown, we could compensate ourselves for the trip." "Hello, sir."

SDGJSAHGUISREHGVDSFHGHHAFGSDFKJGDKSFGSDFGSFDHJS

If you think this is awkward, don't worry. It gets worse from here. Also — apparently, the name of the series is officially the name of the store. The more you know!

Well done little fella… You managed to surprise us.

AND YES. They use tu/toi for the., the 600yo ambassador of Bonta. who is also the owner of the store. who also just overheard them discussing shoplifting.

We're looking for a guy named… sir Beating Heart. Y'know him? Maybe that's your father? It is not my father… It is an object. And… the owner of this store, then? Where is he? In front of you. ... So… uh… you say "beating heart" is an object. Sure. And... could we perhaps see it, that beating heart?

HE'S SO FUCKING DONE ALREADY. he HATES them. also him saying he is the owner is so funny, even if it ISN'T a lie. Like. The store is named and themed after a whole different guy.

Insane.

Beating heart... beating heart... Listen to the rhythm of the heart, replace the rhythm of the body. Beating heart, beating heart... Out of sight… Out of mind… Will you give your soul the time?

Very cool poetry, Joris. I do wonder if this is him talking to himself to remember where it is, him liking this rhythm, or him fucking with Remington for his own amusement.

Please wait here. Careful, Mr. Curious. Small chests can contain big trouble Let's have a closer look. Yeah, bring it quick. Here it is, Beating Heart.

He's so used to shitty rude customers. The fact that he keeps vous/vous'ing them is funny. The fact he only calls Remi "mr. curious" is pretty emblematic of his saintly patience.

Say hello to Beating Heart first. Huh? Say hello to a watch? You have to be kind to objects… each one has its own story to tell. Say hello to Beating Heart… you too, funny talking bow meow. Hello? Hello, Beating Heart… delighted to meet your needle. And how does it work? No idea… Objects do whatever they want. I already have a hard time putting them away. One day, a set of table knives wouldn't stand next to an old sword… a real headache, those two.

I refuse to believe that this scene is not Joris deciding to simply fuck with Remington and Grany, by saying insane things for his own amusement, and making them talk to a clock.

That or he's more mentally ill than I thought. Oh well.

You talk to objects and they talk back! better and better… I know how to listen to them, but that doesn't mean they talk to me. But how can this watch help me? Listen, little guy, my brother suffered a kind of curse. An ecaflip named Ush cast a spell on him that turned him into a bow meow. Ush? The bontarian nobleman?

Either Joris sensed he was being taken way too seriously and backed down, or he decided to go "nah they don't talk to me i just listen to them" route because he knew it'd be a way to confuse the two further and he finds that amusing, or he didn't want to come across as crazy.

But in the end, his reign of making them confused as fuck ends with their mention of Ush — with whom Joris has history, and yet, all Joris says is "bontarian nobleman"... He's hiding that history. Because now he's interested.

And it seems that this Beating Heart could help me become a rogue again. Beating Heart has the ability to give its wearer what they desire most. But to use Beating heart, you need the proficiency in magic that you don't have. It's not for sale, sorry. But for your time, I've got a magic hat that curls your hair. Do you know where you can stick that hat? You little piece of…. brat! Come on, come on… excuse him… he's having a bit of a bad hair day right now.

Notice how fast Joris switches gears: he brought these two this amulet, and was showing it off, before, immediately after Ush's mention, rapidly going "you won't be able to use it, I will not sell it, also your hair sucks ass".

As we will see later, you don't need deep magical skill to use it — you need some self-control, so I really doubt Joris was genuine here.

I have multiple theories:

Joris doesn't want beating heart, a powerful magic item, anywhere near Ush's schemes.

Joris wants them to steal it so that he has an excuse to involve himself in Ush's schemes like the noisy curtain twitcher he is. If this transaction is legitimate, he has no excuse like "UMMM YOUR VICTIMS BROKE INTO MY STORE REPLY TO ME IMMEDIATELY ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING???"

Considering the fact that he puts it away under a glass dome, as Remington and Grany, rogues, watch (and they HAVE talked about robbing him) — I am leaning more strongly towards theory #2.

Thank you for everything, dear friend. No, no, you're not going to tip him on top of it! Hey bro? what's not for sale is up for grabs… As we rogues say. That's right… tonight, beating heart will be mine… he he he.

If my theory of this being a honeypot by Joris is right — then hook, line, and sinker.

On one hand, he doesn't exactly look like he's scheming, on other — he doesn't look too worried.

I think at this moment, his main concern is Ush.

(side note, he's drawn really well in this panel...)

[kourabiedes]

Carmine and Kieran Roleswap AU: Teal Mask Edition

Sweet Arceus do I have a long AU for ya, because I am Very Normal about the Kitakami siblings and definitely don't go out of my way to find new ways to mess with their heads. Long AU summary under the cut! Beware all ye who enter here, for there are Ogres afoot.

There is now an Indigo Disk continuation to this!

So the most important thing to understand before we start is that Carmine and Kieran still retain aspects of their normal personalities.  A 1:1 swap would be kinda boring (specifically, boring for me). However, their life experiences have changed here and that does give us some new juicy tidbits to explore.

Sketches provided by @funakounasoul... except for the Ogerpon sketch. I made that.

Kieran is the older sibling in this scenario.  He's still shorter than his sister, but he's now older than the player character and probably has some devilish good looks.  He's generally goodnatured, and being the older sibling and having to look out for a younger sister has balanced his personality a little bit.  He's more mentally stable and mature than his standard self.  He still has a pretty huge fondness for the ogre in the old legend, admiring its independence and strength.  The major change to his personality here is that he's not as insanely shy, since he hasn't had a big scary savage sister to hide behind all his life.

Younger sister Carmine is shy of strangers and still wary of outsiders.  Her posture visually in the Teal Mask is probably kind of stooped, like she's trying to hide how crazy tall she is.  She has a bratty, slightly spoiled attitude in this scenario, because big brother Kieran is always hovering nearby to keep her out of trouble.  She appears to be the player character's age or maybe a touch younger.  Despite the initial shyness though, she's all aggression when she feels she or her family or really any of Kitakami as she sees it is threatened.  She still dismisses Kieran's ogre obsession, but chalks it up to boys liking scary things.  (You know, cuz girls never go for that kinda thing </massive sarcasm>)

The PC would meet them both for the first time in Mossui and Kieran is welcoming while Carmine glowers at you from somewhere behind him.  Kieran's all about helping your classmate get safely to the community center and probably runs off to help, or perhaps to get the caretaker.  Maybe you battle Carmine then because she's definitely not enjoying having these tourists in her fucking town.  Whatever the scenario, Kieran and the caretaker get the rest of the Random Paldean Students safely to the community center and you get settled in.

Now, for a while, things don't change much in this scenario, except for Kieran not being super emotionally unstable.  The next day, you're being introduced to the Blueberry kids properly and Kieran immediately suggests you and he pair up.  Carmine isn't thrilled but as he points out, it's not like they can pair up together based on Briar's directions to make interschool pairs.  She sulks off to find a Paldean student to deal with.  Your character and Kieran have a friendly battle and he admires your skills.  You go find the first two signboards and follow him up to the Dreaded Den more or less the same way as in Teal Mask.  Then he invites you to the Festival of Masks and you go back to the family home.  Carmine is not overly pleased to see you still hanging around, but she's unbending a little bit since you and Kieran obviously get on so well.  They only find the two masks in the shed, Kieran tries to offer you his ogre mask, Carmine stops him, you get to the festival and do some balloon popping and maybe even beat Carmine's score.

It's Ogerpon's appearance that changes the story dramatically.  At first, you are the only one that sees her, but then Kieran comes looking for you after pacifying Carmine.  Ogerpon spooks, drops her mask, and you both have a moment of shock as you realize this is not a child, this is the damn ogre.  Then Ogerpon bolts, leaving you with the Teal Mask.  Kieran is stunned  --  the ogre was so smol!  And seemed so nonaggressive!  And holy shit this mask is beautiful, except there's a chip in the big crystal!  He's excited as hell to have one of his childhood dreams materialize before him.  He wants to go after Ogerpon, but Carmine turns up at that moment.  She has deeply internalized the ancient Kitakami legend of the Loyal Three, and when Kieran excitedly tells her you just saw the ogre, she insists it can't have been, because you and he are both not fucking dead.  She and Kieran argue for a minute, long enough that once it's over, Kieran has to reluctantly admit you'll never catch up to the ogre in the dark.  He tells you to hold onto the mask and you two can go ask his grandpa about it in the morning.  You do, and it's Kieran who is with you when you hear the story of Ogerpon.  Carmine appears at one point and is shooed off by Kieran, but overhears the majority of the story herself.  Unlike Kieran, she can't believe it  --  the heroic Loyal Three, actually villains??  Impossible!  She realizes that if Kieran believes this story, he's likely to go chasing the ogre again, and probably get himself killed, a prospect that chills her to the bone.  She ambushes you both as you leave the family home and demands that Kieran (and just Kieran, she doesn't care what YOU do) not go chasing monsters, making no effort to pretend she didn't overhear the whole damn thing.  Kieran tries to correct her, but she insists you both go have a look at the final signboard, the one that reminds everyone that the ogre murders anyone it comes across without a mask on.  You go, but discuss with Kieran how the story doesn't make any sense compared to the ogre you both saw and the story Kieran's grandpa told you.  You go back mutually determined to get Ogerpon's mask back to her after gramps fixes it. 

You go off to the community center and Kieran goes home.  Something he says at home will alert Carmine to your resolve, and that kicks off the next event.  Carmine demands you meet her at Loyalty Plaza, where she makes an impassioned plea to her brother not to be fooled into getting himself murderated.  He tries to explain that she's still got the wrong impression and she blows up on him, refusing to listen to reason (he almost certainly points out that Gramps has no reason to lie to his own grandkids, for example).  Truth is, she's afraid, afraid for his life, and that's making her act irrationally.

And then a thought occurs to her, a thought that marks a huge turning point in this scenario.  It's you.  You are making her brother act this way.  You are the reason he's doing these insane things.  She accuses you directly of manipulating her family.  Kieran protests, but she's convinced.

Now, in canon, I am convinced that the venom in Kieran's thoughts is what somehow channeled Pecharunt's energy (or some variant thereof) into the Lousy Three's grave and brought them back to life.  In this scenario, imagine the same, only it's the poison of fear which is rapidly spreading through Carmine.  Her fear is being expressed as anger, but it's still fear, and it's consuming her rapidly.  Before either sibling can argue further, the grave splits open, and the Three emerge.  No one knows quite what is happening, so no one can really react effectively as they take off to Kitakami Hall.  It's only as they're already receding into the distance that Carmine realizes they must be the Three.

You and the siblings rush to the Hall to hear the news of the Three's arrival and retrieving of the other masks before going up the mountain.  Kieran starts to rush after them, but suddenly Carmine blocks the way.  She is going to save him from himself if it's the last thing she does.  You battle her and defeat her, and the idea that you are the cause of all this etches itself that much deeper.  She has no choice but to step aside, but you can feel her furious eyes on your back as you run to save Ogerpon.

Poor little ogre is getting the shit kicked out of her and you save her, driving off the Three.  She is nervous around Kieran because he smells like a local and therefore Dangerous, but while a little hurt, he is not crushed by this.  You take her back to the town (she refuses to enter of course) and consult with Kieran's grandpa.  He promises to fix the Teal Mask for Ogerpon if you and Kieran go get a crystal from the Crystal Pool to replace the chipped one, and suggests you and Kieran go pound the shit out of the Three to get Ogerpon's other masks back.  Carmine is sulking at home and overhears the conversation.  You and Kieran go to the Pool with Ogerpon shadowing you, but Carmine blocks your way at the top, angry at Kieran too now for bringing an outsider to this sacred place.  The standoff is broken by Briar also appearing at the summit, distracting Carmine.  Kieran slips past her and you stop her from following with a battle.  Ogerpon stays near you, and her presence only serves to enrage Carmine more.  Kieran retrieves a crystal cluster during the battle and you both bolt back down the mountain to give it to Gramps, leaving Carmine fuming.  He begins to work on the mask and you turn your attention to finding the Three.

You find the Three with Kieran's help and return the shit kicking they gave Ogerpon threefold, retrieving her masks.  Ogerpon becomes more comfortable around Kieran as you go.  You return to the town only to discover Carmine stole the Teal Mask after Gramps fixed it and left Kieran a message telling him to come to the Dreaded Den.  Gramps notes that she spoke with him about the story of Ogerpon before she left and seems to be disturbed by how the ogre has acted since the whole mess began  --  Kieran guesses her good sense is starting to win out over her fear.  You go back to the Den with Kieran and Ogerpon and find Carmine there.  Kieran confronts her, finally convincing her that the story of the Loyal Three was indeed wrong, and she's been wrong about Ogerpon the whole time (probably aided by Ogerpon with her sweet lil face staring like a sad puppy at her). 

Carmine finally accepts the truth of the matter, and apologizes to him and Ogerpon.

But there's one thing she hasn't let go of.  She hasn't forgiven you.  And Kieran doesn't realize that she's still hung up on that part because, while he's a lot more emotionally stable in this scenario, he's still pretty oblivious to subtle emotional cues from other people.  When Carmine walks away from the Den, it's with a venom-filled look in your direction.  Insert Heart's If Looks Could Kill here.

Inevitably, Ogerpon wants you as her human, because you're the damn hero.  This version of Kieran is disappointed, but not shattered by this.  He's spent a lot of time over the last couple days with you and the little cutie, and he's had time to get used to the idea.  It's Ogerpon's decision where she wants to go, and he lets go of the long cherished dream with regret, but nothing worse.  He does ask to have a battle with you and her in the morning, after which Briar calls to tell you to get your asses to the community center to finish the actual school trip thingy you'd probably forgotten all about.  Kieran also tells you that Carmine has holed up in her room and won't talk to anyone.

You know more or less how this ends, with Briar yoinking the Kitakami sibs back to Unova to prepare for some globetrotting and the antagonistic sibling swearing to get stronger so they can kick your ass.  In this case it's Carmine, and boy does she hate you right now.  In the end, Kieran came to no harm, and Ogerpon was not a monster, but it doesn't really matter, because rationality went out the window for her where you're concerned a while ago.  She's going to get stronger, and she's going to hand you your ass for humiliating her so often, and she's got a great idea for making that happen...

[nushkiespeaks]

I am again surprised with the way how people are misinterpreting my blog on Arjun's depression as making fun of depression as a "mental health".

Clearly people don't even know what am I talking about.

I AM TALKING ACTUALLY ABOUT HOW PEOPLE TAG A MENTALLY HEALTHY PERSON AS A "DEPRESSED HUMAN"! AND IT IS AS BLASPHEMOUS AS DISSING DEPRESSION AS A MENTAL HEALTH TO TAGGING SOMEONE FIT AND FINE AS DEPRESSED!

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LABELING ANYTHING AS DEPRESSION WITHOUT KNOWING THE SYMPTOMS OF IT! YOU KNOW HOW UTTERLY DISGRACEFUL IT IS?

IMAGINE YOU'RE UNAWARE OF EVEN THE SYMPTOMS OF A MENTAL HEALTH AND GOING ON TO MAKE IT LOOK COOL?!

Please, it's high time you guys get a clear symptom analysis about depression! Not everything is depression! And labeling Arjun, a mentally stable person as "depressed and suicidal" is certainly NOT okay!

And please! please STOP romanticizing depression as it is a cool thing and anyone can have it!

IF YOU HAVE DEPRESSION, GET TREATMENT! GET HELP! BUT ROMANTICIZING IT AS IT "OH ITS A GOOD THING, LOOK I HAVE DEPRESSION IS SO COOL" IS CERTAINLY NOT OKAY!

And honestly, yes! You can't think if you're not mentally healthy you can do ANYTHING you wish like! NO YOU CANNOT! YOU CANNOT, YOUR ABILITIES WILL BE HAMPERED AND IT IS A FACT!

Some people need education way before they spit nonsense even before analyzing or trying to know the context!

Peeps be JUMPING UPON CONCLUSIONS without going through my other blogs is insanely hilarious!

Just imagine you're a mentally healthy person and you're getting tagged like that, how will you feel? It shows both the incompetence of people in understanding what the symptoms of mental health is and using it so casually everywhere!

MY POINT IS TO MAKE EVERYONE CLEAR THAT ARJUN DID NOT SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION! NOT MAKING FUN OF IT! 🙂

[sbk-zgvlt]

Heyyyy, This random stranger here had an idea...

Something, something, shrinking potion mishap during potionology, something, something.

Inspired by the fact that baby crocodiles make laser cannon sounds.

Calling it one of the first years messed up the potion

Imagine being called to the botanical gardens by Professor Crewel because the loud first year from Diasomnia got turned into a baby 💀💀💀

Now, while I am admittedly a huge fan of the Diasomnia found family, I am also fond of another one: Spectral Soiree. Or rather, two science club guys who are INSANE but in opposite sides of the spectrum with their loud crocodile son.

Thinking that while Crewel originally trusted Sebek to Diasomnia, he realized that they're literally fresh off an overblot situation with Malleus 💀💀💀 He sees the first years who are barely holding it together and goes fuck that I'll pass on the kid to my club students instead

Enter: Trey Clover and Rook Hunt.

Crewel just calls them in during club time, plops baby Sebek into Trey's arms and tells them to take care of him or else he's failing them. Trey faints. Rook catches Sebek just in time.

Baby Sebek thinks Trey is his father!!! And this makes him very affectionate towards him! He would rather be held by Trey instead of Rook. Although, he does "talk" a lot more when he's with the blonde.

Trey doesn't really know what to think of the situation. Fortunately he has experience since he has two younger siblings and a whole DORM of children/lh Its just a bit awkward to explain to Riddle and Cater why he's holding a baby in the middle of the lounge. Adeuce thought he had a secret son until they realized that it was Sebek.

Rook is excited to take care of Sebek! Baby Sebek hasnt learned how to hide his croc form yet, so he has his tail and scales out. He likes to dress him up in cute onesies and calls him nicknames that arent. French for once. Sebby, Seb, Little croc, etc. If he's feeling like giving people heart attacks, he calls him Little Clover or Little Hunter.

Diasomnia actually fought with Crewel about who would take care of Sebek, but Crewel put his foot down and told them that they just werent mentally...stable enough to take care of a young Sebek.

"AND YOU GAVE HIM TO ROOK HUNT????"

"I have faith in him."

Meanwhile

"ROOK WHAT ARE YOU DOING."

"Ah! Chevalier des Roses! I am simply letting the little clover have some fun!"

"HE'S FACE DOWN IN THE WATER."

"Do not worry! He isn't called little croc for nothing!!!!"

[olderthannetfic]

Re: Hypertagging characters/ships for triggers, yeah as someone whos insane ass has a very serious trigger for a specific fictional character -particularly if they are portrayed in a positive light- I just Do Not Read Fic in that fandom by and large and blacklist it pretty hard.

It sucks I had to divorce myself from the fandom because I LIKED the earlier seasons and sometimes the fic was cute and good, but I simply cannot reasonably ask anyone to tag every mention of that character so I blacklist it all.

Its a me issue, NOT a them issue, so its my job to manage it and actually put effort into that.

That means blacklisting the show on every platform that is possible that I use, not following people who are likely to post that character, not consuming the new canon content of the show in case I get jumpscared with the character, and only ever intentionally looking for content if im in the right frame of mind to be able to stand simply seeing the name somewhere while I control+f a fic to see if they show up. I even sometimes ask friends to prescreen fics sometimes if I REALLY want to read something.

I make my own content if I want to engage with that media and I avoid the fandom. Its... I wont say its easy because it really sucks actually, but the world cannot and should not cater to me in that way. Its a competing access need and unreasonable to ask.

Its reasonable to ask a friend to warn/not deliberately show me that character- not NOT reasonable to ask a rando to do that.

Id even try to desensitize the trigger if I was in a good place for doing it but I am the wrong kind of insane to be doing that any time soon lol. Trauma work lays you right out.

To people wondering how anyone could be so fragile as to need something like that tagged; PTSD and other mental illnesses that cause serious triggers often latch onto innocuous things. Do you think I want to have such a 'cringe' trigger that causes me to [redacted] at best and have a dissociative panic attack-flashback combo AND [redacted] at worse? No its dumb as hell and I hate that there is very little to do to suppress it. Does that make the trigger go away? Also no. Its not like this is just me not liking or being uncomfortable with the character, this is an involuntary serious-hazard-to-health negative reaction I shant detail that sucks ass.

Yes us crazies do deserve to participate in fandom spaces too, we arent too broken to be barred from playing with everyone else- we just have to understand where the reasonable line is on accommodations for tagging, understand that competing access needs are a thing, and do the rest of the work ourselves.

Its not perfect but its the most good for the most people.

Id invite anyone who has a character/ship/etc trigger to seriously just blacklist the media and do what I do or even be more strict about it. You will feel so much better and more stable im not kidding. It sucks to lose a beloved fandom but you will feel so much better.

For everyone else- dont feel you need to tag every last mention on something. If you really want to be trigger friendly for some reason, you can put in the chapter notes all the minor mentions of stuff or w/e. Please Do Not put it in the proper tags.

--

Sadly, "dumb as hell" is a pretty default setting for triggers. If only brains were logical and behaved themselves! But one has to work with what one's got.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hi Cal my dear! Wishing you a lovely weekend! And sending MAJOR props for everything you’ve posted in the last day it was all fabulous! Here’s lots of emojis to prompt your brilliant mind :)

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️ (THEYRE MARRIED!!!! LOVE THAT FOR THEM! So looking forward to seeing them with their new house and baby and their beautiful life together!)

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨(buckley parents suuuuuck! AND ITS FINALLY TIME FOR A DANIEL REVEAL! On the edge of my seat!)

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟(loved chim’s pov! Thats my sweet guy he’s such a softie romantic! Very excited to see whose pov is next and find out who is approaching the library!)

- PCA <3

HI PCA <3 <3 <3 <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

42 for ⚡️(YEAH MARRIED! HONEYMOON TIME):

---

Buck and Eddie have to work three shifts before they can leave for their little honeymoon getaway. Whoever’s idea that - his - is obviously an idiot, because it’s torture. All he wants to do is have lots of sex in the little beach house AirBnb he booked in San Clemente with his husband, but no! He has to go to work and spend several days walking into fires, getting vomited on, and most importantly, not having sex. He barely survives. It’s really quite a travesty. 

It’s actually a pretty decent sign for Buck that he’s really fucking happy with his life that he doesn’t want to be at work. He loves work. His job is the greatest job in the world. His team is the best team on earth. Most of the time? Can’t get enough of it. But in the wake of their wedding - which was perfect and stunning and everyone else wishes they had wedding photos in front of a fire truck from the 1920s - Buck has other things occupying his brain. Much more exciting things. Which is kind of bad, considering he should really just be focused on saving lives. 

By the end of the third shift, Buck is practically vibrating, waiting for the time to end. They’re all packed. They’re leaving first thing in the morning. Not soon enough. 

Adriana and Ravi are coming to stay with Chris for the five days they’ll be gone. Chris thinks this is very cool. Much cooler than the alternative, which was going to be Pepa. Buck thinks this is a little unfair to poor Pepa, who has watched him hundreds of times. But he gets it. They’re younger and more fun and will almost certainly let him get away with more than Eddie would. 

When their shift finally does end, Buck can feel himself motoring through their leaving routine. He tries to light a fire under Eddie’s feet with his eyes so Eddie will move a bit quicker. 

“Changing like you’re between sets at the Eras Tour is not going to make tomorrow come any quicker,” Eddie tells him. 

“Oh, he’s got Eras Tour references,” Buck teases.

Obviously he has made Eddie watch the movie. Twice. But only twice! No matter what Eddie may or may not have complained. 

“We’ve still got hours,” Eddie says. “Calm down.”

“I will not,” Buck scoffs. “I am as excited for this as the wedding!”

Buck has made this point clear. Several times. They made cuts to their wedding budget so they could afford this waterfront rental. Buck is so fucking excited for this honeymoon. 

He understands that this might sound somewhat insane. Maybe a little vapid.

---

63 for 🚨 (yeahhhhh sorry for the angst):

---

It’s not easy or stable or linear. But he’s working on it.

The day after he learns about Daniel, Buck calls in sick to work. Takes a mental health day at Eddie’s insistence. This turns out to be a wise call. There’s a horrific factory fire that almost goes badly, and Buck probably wouldn’t have been in a good headspace for that. To make matters worse, his parents actually show up at the station. Eddie sends them away, for which Buck is grateful. He doesn’t want to see them again. 

And he doesn’t have to. 

Maddie comes over at his request and they talk through everything. He’s mad. Really mad. 

“You should have told me. After everything we’ve been through together, the trial, moving, how could you not tell me?” 

“I was terrified to tell you!” She admits. “Especially after Afghanistan and the trial, Evan! You slip into such dark places. Places where I can’t reach you. I didn’t want to risk it!”

And the thing is, he can understand that. She’s not wrong. He has descended into dark spells again and again since being honorably discharged. 

“And, honestly, Evan… I didn’t know how to talk about him,” Maddie continues. “I was never allowed. She’d get so upset at the slightest mention… It was like even thinking about him made me feel like I would be punished.”

Buck’s anger deflates a lot after that. Because, really. He can’t imagine. He can’t fucking imagine. 

They argue some more. They cry. They make up. How could Buck ever possibly stay mad at her forever? She loved him enough for two parents, when his own refused. 

So he moves forward. He keeps up with therapy. He cherishes his loved ones. He tries to live up to the role Christopher has graciously given to him. That Eddie allows him to have. He works on loving himself, to be worthy of the love they give him.

And life moves forward with him. 

ii.

They have their first Christmas together as a couple. As a family. Eddie, who wasn’t really a big holiday guy ever before Christopher, loves every second of it. It’s like holidays finally have a reason to feel magical, rather burdensome. He has the exact family he was missing before, in order for them to feel perfect. 

Buck goes all out. Decorates, plays music, bakes. Spoils Chris way more than he needs to. He comes back to life, in a way he’s been struggling to do since the whole Daniel thing. He is holiday cheer incarnate. Eddie is so disgustingly in love with him. 

On Christmas morning, sitting around a faux-pine tree, watching their kid open heaps more presents than Eddie got at that age, Eddie can’t help but feel a strange sense of tranquility. Like, oh. Right. This is what life is supposed to be. He can imagine ten more Christmases from now. He can imagine wedding bands. He can imagine more kids.

---

48 for 🧟(it's Eddie!!!!):

---

“Well, yeah,” Buck replies. “Good thing Los Angeles is a very small town. Like one intersection.”

“Okay, smart ass,” Eddie sighs. 

“Where in L.A.?” Buck amends his question. 

Okay, fine. It’s a fair question.

“Mid-City area,” Eddie explains. Not that that might mean anything to Buck. “My wife… Shannon… Her mom had an apartment out there.”

“Her mom?” Buck asks. “You said she was caring for her, right?”

Eddie shifts in the driver’s seat uncomfortably. He doesn’t really want to get into all of it. It’s not easy to talk about. But, then again, he agreed to Buck coming. So obviously Buck is going to have to learn more of it than what Eddie explained to him that first night. Which wasn’t very much. And if they do find Shannon? Well, then Buck will probably hear a lot of it. There’s a lot Eddie needs to say to her. He’s not sure how composed he’ll be able to keep himself, after all this time. 

“Yeah,” Eddie confirms. “She was terminally ill. Cancer.”

“Fuck,” Buck sighs. “I’m sorry, man.”

“Thanks.”

It feels strange to accept condolences for Janet, but he does it anyway. She wasn’t his mother. They weren’t that close. He feels like he probably cost her time with her daughter. Definitely with her grandson. But… Yeah. He’s sad she’s probably dead. She was always very kind to him. In a judgment free way his own parents couldn’t comprehend. Not that he should be thinking badly of them. 

“I don’t know if she died or not before…”

“Zombies?”

“Yeah.”

“Kind of hope she did, for her sake,” Buck replies.

Eddie nods.

[haemosexuality]

about my tav, phynn (who is kind of a self insert):

phynn is a drow that was born in the underdark and raised by a lolth sworn family. after trying several times, she successfully escaped her city when she was 76. since then, she has been moving around a lot- living in areas of the underdark that are very near the surface and dont have many drows (she doesnt mind the deep gnomes and duergar), but mainly in the outskirts of surface cities, including of course Baldur's Gate. it took her almost a decade to get used to the sun

she is a thief, and a very good one. shes had odd jobs here and there but she makes most of her outcome by straight up stealing whatever she can find and then selling it. when shes in big, rich cities like Baldur's Gate, she does a looot of burglary. breaking and entering is like her favorite hobby. she also had to get very good at fighting, both bc of the whole drow thing and bc of all the criminaling

by the start of the game, shes 183 years old, having been living in and around the surface for just over 100 years. in a human au she would be like 24

PERSONALITY AND OTHER FACTS:

her morals are contradicting and alll over the fucking place. that is because i am not good at role-playing and will just do whatever the fuck but in universe is because she was raised by very hardcore lolth worshippers and then spent the next century mostly by herself and getting by by stealing. not a lot of time for things like developing a well established and stable moral code. id say shes chaotic neutral, but with a good heart?

her journey throughout the game at first made her better, she tried to be a good person, and then made her worse because that is a lot of horrible things that happened to her and all her new friends and she is this close to snapping and having a breakdown. also shes killed more people in the last like 4 months than she has in a whole century and that will for sure change a person for the worst. shes become very apathetic and just so goddamn Tired. she didnt sign up for saving the whole world she just wanted this damn tadpole out of her head so she could continue to sell stolen jewelry!!! fucks sake!!

as part of her total off the rails mental breakdown she also became a chronic kleptomaniac. she was a thief before sure but that was just like, her job for her, now its a real compulsion. her raiding everything and everyone she sees and its starting to worry the other companions. this is inspired by me going to GREAT lengths and doing everything i can to steal literally everything i see until i realized i really didnt need to be doing that i have so many shit in my inventory and like 30 thousand gold. then i started feeling bad for these fictional npcs that are not real people and are not important to the story whatsoever because everyone here is so poor i dont need to be stealing but i truly cannot stop. normal behavior

she actually misses some aspects of the underdark. she liked how pretty (and less sunny) it was, and the food. shes not lolth sword but shes not seldarine either, she just kind of doesn't care. obviously shes not a fan of drow culture, but she still gets pretty pissed when surface ppl start talking shit

she is a rogue! she also has some levels of fighter but i just got that for gameplay reasons.

shes dating karlach in denial she doesnt know if she wants to try to convince her to go to hell so she can live, or just accept her wish to let her die. this is inspired by me crying real life tears over this fucking character. also astarion is her bestie they gossip together

not much else to say about her personality shes literally just me if i was given free will to be chaotic insane and kill people

uhm when she met astarion she didnt realize he was a vampire at ALL she assumed he was an albino drow. he ran with it until she woke up to him almost biting her while she slept (canon game event). this is inspired by a comic i saw

APPEARANCE:

eyes: because she was born to a lolth sworn mother her eyes are naturally red. i also gave her cat pupils because that looks cool to me it makes sense that drows would have pupils that can better adjust to lack of/light like that i mean they live underground!! because she is me tho she cant see shit. she used to have glasses but they got lost early in the game in a battle to which she was just blind as fuck and had to be babysat by the other companions. that lasted less than a tenday (dnd week) tho because:

her right eye got Volo'd, and the glass eye volo gives us to replace the one he plucked out is Magic, and not nearsighted! she started covering her left eye with an eyepatch since, because having one eye that can see perfectly and one that cant is awful and confusing. when she doesnt wear the eyepatch, her left eye is always squinting

the glass eye has round pupils, so her pupils are different now too!

she dyes her hair different colors. with the power of Magic and Fantasy Hair Dye. tho her natural hair color is ofc white

has vampire bite scars from astarion. they have an agreement going on where he can feed off of her every few days. people are baffled that its not sexual (astarions traumatized ass included)

she bandages her chest because i cant imagine a worst curse than having to run around and fight and climb mountains with a large chest