#dont read jeeezus i am just nuts
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If I could just please stop overthinking every tiny nuance in behavior and immediately fearing the worst that would be great.
#this kind of crap makes me really realize that no matter how “stable” i think i am mentally i am still mesed up#and rely on other people to make me happy and just want to be liked and desired by them 1000% of the time#like its healthy to take a night off from seeing eachother#jesus i know that#but i am so scared of coming off as clingy yet also scared of coming off as cold and i dont know how to behave and i feel insane tbh#like i know if hes in a bad mood and is tired that me coming over isnt the best idea#but also part of me is immediately scared that since he doesnt sant me over that he doesnt like me as much as i like him#its fucked up#part of me thinks “wouldnt him being in a bad mood make him WANT to see me to cheer him up?#but like that train of thought is messed up for multiple reasons and only leads me intona spiral#but this is the first time hes striagjt up told me he doesnt feel like having me over#normally he is saying “of course come over! please!”#and so the change has me freaked#rant over#dont read jeeezus i am just nuts
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