#i am so invested it’s ridiculous

[hemmohoran]

better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirty one

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

october 2, 2018 san diego, california calum

I feel bad for my Uber driver. He’s got some blubbering man crying in his backseat at 7 am on a Tuesday. When he drops me off at the hotel, I tell him thank you through quiet sobs, and I make sure to tip him incredibly well on the app. He didn’t ask any questions, although I’m sure he had plenty. 

I don’t know why I choose Emelia over any of my friends to go to, but I do. I bang on the door to her hotel room until she annoyedly swings it open, her eyes flooded with concern. I don’t wait for her to hug me, instead I just clumsily throw my body against hers and start crying.

I’ve cried more in the past two days than I have in the past five years. 

“What’s going on?” She asks, her voice just barely louder than a whisper. 

“She broke up with me.” Even though they’re true, the words sound like a lie. I don’t even know if Emelia will believe me.

“You’re shitting me,” is how she responds, and I just cry, confirming the truth without words. 

She lets me cry for a few minutes while she processes what I said.

“Cal, I swear, I had no idea that she would do that. I’m sorry.”

I just keep crying.

“Here, come in,” Em says. She opens her hotel room door wider and steps in, pulling me with her. I let her guide me to her bed and she pushes me down by the shoulders to sit. “I’m gonna go get the boys, okay?”

I want to yell after her not to bring Ashton, but I can’t make myself say the words. I hear her banging on doors and then whispering in the hallway, and before I know it, my bandmates and their girlfriends are all streaming into the room. Everyone looks floored and they look at me with immense pity. I hate it.

They all just stare, but KayKay is the first one to break out of the pack, coming over and sitting next to me, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I let my emotions go again, letting the sadness ooze out of me in hot tears that undoubtedly fall onto Kay’s sweatshirt. She doesn’t say anything, but she just holds me as I cry. 

The room feels deafeningly silent aside from my cries.

I want to be mad again. I want to yell at them all for letting this happen. How could none of us have known? How could none of us have sensed this all happening? I know Orion is to blame for keeping secrets, but Ashton is who I blame overall. He knew. He knew and he didn’t tell me. He’s my best friend. He should have told me.

Even though I want to be mad, all I can feel is the sheer heartbreak. The love of my life… isn’t even mine anymore. She doesn’t want to be mine. I never thought this day would come. We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to get married. I figured I’d propose in a year or so, and then once she was out of law school, we would get married.

We’d elope, probably in Spain, but then we’d have an Australian reception and an American one, both still small small, with professional photographers to capture every single second of the elopement and the parties. We’d take pictures in Retiro and celebrate at Space Monkey. We’d watch the sun rise from the park, just the two of us, on our first morning as husband and wife.

Orion and I had talked about all of it. She’d shown me a Pinterest board of engagement rings she’d like. 

We had plans to buy a house on the beach in a few years, once we didn’t need to be close to any college campuses. We wanted to get another dog, and maybe even a few cats. We didn’t want kids, but we did want to rescue as many animals as we had the time, space, and money for. 

None of it matters now. She doesn’t even want to be my girlfriend anymore. 

I never thought there’d be a world without Orion being mine, and here I am, living in that very world. She won’t even be in the world at all once she inevitably dies.

“Cal? Are you okay?” Michael’s voice brings me back to reality, and then I realize that I’ve temporarily stopped crying.

“I don’t even know.”

–

5SOS Cancel San Diego Concert!

Everyone’s favorite Aussie band was slated to perform in San Diego tonight as part of their Meet You There world tour, but the band has canceled the show without much explanation, citing a ‘family emergency.’ This is the message they posted to Twitter just a few moments ago.

“San Diego, we’re so sorry to say we won’t be performing tonight. We’ve had a family emergency come up. We promise to come back very soon and we apologize for the inconvenience.

We love you! Xx -Ash, Luke, Mike, and Cal”

Fans are immediately speculating after images were posted of bassist Calum Hood at the beach having an emotional breakdown yesterday afternoon, only to be followed by images of Hood’s long term girlfriend, Orion Moss, doing the same thing at a different beach. Allegedly, Moss was approached by police before fleeing the scene.

Whatever is going on, to say that fans are concerned would be an understatement.

[cosmogyros]

.

[theangrycomet]

Sibling and I have agreed that we need a device where we can transfer the important information directly into eachother's brains bc trying to explain the context behind our fandom memes to eachother is becoming a nightmare

[eats-the-stars]

being an adult who makes my own income is also realizing i can actually buy some of the pretty art i see online. some day i might even be bold enough to directly commission an artist.

[dutybcrne]

I am a simple Allie: I see unhinged, I wanna put em with Taru or Kae

[falderaletcetera]

the PROBLEM with friends and family (2001) and the fic I want to write is I don't know nearly enough about either concealed weapons or the mechanics of a good men's suit. so what I really need (platonically) (genuinely) is a well-dressed hitman or two who'll let me undress them without making it weird.

sighing deeply, rolling up my sleeves, diving into research once again

[pikkish]

oh i have made. a horrible mistake. haven't i.

[kindnessoverperfection]

There are two paths before me.

One is overgrown, full of thorns and bristles and broken branches. The other is sunny and clear.

Surely, the first will lead to nothing but risk, danger, and pain, while the second will be a blissful, joyful walk.

But there's nothing for me on that clear path. No food, no life, no person out there besides myself. I know that the overgrown path can grant me all those things and more, if only it weren't such a wretched way to go.

So I spend some time on the clear path, walking forward until I can't take the loneliness and discontent anymore, and I turn back. But when I arrive where I started, the first path is still overgrown, worse still than before. Frustrated and feeling helpless, I start down the clear path again. When I decide to take care of myself and survive instead of starving to death on the barren trail, I turn back again. And again, the other is overgrown and terrifying.

I go back and forth, until I fall to my knees, crying and begging for someone, anyone, to help me. To remove the thorns and bristles and branches.

And then I realize, this entire time, I've been running from the pain. I've been waiting for the trail to clear up on its own, to grant me safe and easy passage.

It wasn't my fault I was never taught wilderness survival - I don't know how to make it through such an area, bandage the scrapes and wear functional gear and step over the branches. But I can learn, even if I'll experience some hurt along the way.

[coquelicoq]

oh no this reality dating show is really sweet actually. this was not supposed to happen. crap. crap. i didn't sign up for this!

[petrichoraline]

I am embarrassed about the physical reaction the towel scene got out of me just now, my abs hurt from squealing so much I am RESTLESS

[icewindandboringhorror]

everyday I miss miitomo .. aaa

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

Been thinking about Tang Shen's perspective when she's introduced in ageswap.

Shen moved to New York with her mum and dad. The move was partially movitated by her parents' work (better pay, shorter hours, just have to complete this difficult project first) and the fact that they already have family in America. Back in Japan, it's just Mrs Tang's sister, but pretty much all of her dad's family have moved to America by now.

And Shen had always wanted to visit New York and now she gets to live there!

The only major downsides are not being able to see her aunt as much, and having to leave behind her friends. But she can keep in touch with both online, so she hopes it won't be too bad. Adjusting to a new school and country will be a challenge, but Shen's confident that it's nothing she can't handle.

So they move and at first everything's okay. She explores the city, makes new friends at school, gets settled in.

But she doesn't just explore during the day. At night, once her parents are asleep, she'll slip out and go for a run. She climbs buildings and takes pictures of the skyline. Or she'll go urban exploring - there's plenty of old buildings and wharehouses for her to investigate.

And there are stories about monsters living in New York and she's yet to see any. She brings the rumours up to her parents, who brush them off. People just seeing something at night, misidentifying it, and freaking out. Nothing more to it. The alleged giant turtles are something Mr Tang says his father would properly like the sound of - papa Tang tells all sorts of strange stories about yokai. Shen has grown up listening to his stories, she knows them well.

Then one day, after a few months of living in the city, she sees something strange. Or rather, she meets someone strange.

At first, Shen hadn't known what she was looking at. He's tall, but thin, proportions awkward in the way of most teenage boys, and there's a tail. He notices her looking at him and when she blinks he's gone. Not a turtle, she thinks, but not human.

A few days later, she sees him again. This time, she manages to shout before he disappears. For some reason, he stays and they end up talking on a rooftop - it's higher than she's ever climbed, but close enough to her parents' apartment that it won't be hard getting back home. And he offers to help her get down if she needs it.

He's definietly a kid, roughly her age, even if it's hard to tell just by looking at him. When she asks his name, there's a long pause, and she thinks he's debating telling her. but eventually he tells her it's Splinter. She's Tang Shen. Telling a stranger her name may not be a good idea, but he's a rat yokai (?), who the hell is he going to tell her name to?

Midway through the conversation, he notices some strange men exiting a black van and goes to investigate. Shen, ever the curious one, follows him. Their conversation had painted him as quiet, soft spoken, and more than a little bit socially awkward ( and lonely). But now he's cutting the men down with a sword, revealing metalic innards and strange aliens. She hadn't even realised he had a sword. Then he's climbing into the van, riffling through it, and plugs a memory stick into one of the computers in the back. When he climbs back out of the van he asks what they were talking about, and it's only then that he notices Shen staring at a fallen Kraang droid suit. She points at it and is just:

Shen: What. Is that?

Splinter: ... they call themselves the Kraang

Shen: They're aliens? There are aliens in New York? And they look like people?

Splinter: Oh... I forgot you wouldn't know. Should I explain?

Shen just stares at him. What the hell kinda of life does he led where aliens are completely norm- he's a rat yokai, why is she shocked his life is strange.

"Yeah, that'd be great." She says, even if there's a voice at the back of her brain chanting the theme to Super Robo Mecha Five

"Okay, let me just get all my stuff." He says and starts picking up shuriken.

Once he's sure he's got them all, they climb onto another roof.

(He doesn't know he left one behind, at least not until the next day when it appears on the news. Leo isn't happy about it. But it helps that the news barely touched on it - slow day at the office - and Raph points out that it was only the second time Yoshi was allowed out of the Lair on his own. Besides, kid's 14, mistakes are to be expected. And how bad could it be? It's not like the Foot Clan are going to be watching the broadcast all the way back in Japan!)

Okay, techncially he climbed onto another roof and waited whilst she went and got them food. And he explains, well, not everything, but most stuff to her.

When her grandfather told her stories about yokai, she'd dream of going on an adventure, maybe meeting one herself. Going for runs at night had been just as much about exploring as getting some excitement. Looks like she's got her wish and then some.

Shen asks Splinter if he'll be out again tomorrow night. Does he want to meet up somewhere? There's an old house she was going to explore, but they can do Kraang stuff instead if he wants. He asks what house she was thinking of.

The next night, after her parents are in bed, Tang Shen climbs out her bedroom window and together they explore New York.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

REGRETTING ALL MY LIFE CHOICES (<- watching the end of the owl house)

[nemo-in-wonderland]

Tell me if it's conceivable that I actually needed an AU to draw baby Dorothea with her papa.

DEAR GODS.

I focused so much on the romantic artworks, that I should have given more space to the familial ones.

ALL THE LOVE FOR MY BEBE DOTTIE.

ALL THE LOVE.

[ghostzzy]

actually insane that it took like 7 years of psychological counseling to figure out im bipolar

[livvyofthelake]

13 days until chain of thorns. it’s going to fix me i’m telling you. seeing cordelia is going to be so healing you don’t even understand