#but...i do have spending money and i no longer have to like justify purchases to my dad

[eats-the-stars]

being an adult who makes my own income is also realizing i can actually buy some of the pretty art i see online. some day i might even be bold enough to directly commission an artist.

[cassolotl]

UK government planning to scrap a major disability benefit

I'm only just scraping by and the government are proposing to take away PIP (a disability benefit), which would be HALF of my income wiped out.

"Reforms to personal independence payments (PIP) could include stopping regular cash payments, and instead offering claimants one-off grants for things like home adaptations." -- "Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024

And:

"The plans, which will be consulted on over the coming months, also include proposals to “move away from a fixed cash benefit system”, meaning people with some conditions will no longer receive regular payments, but instead access to treatment if their condition does not involve extra costs." -- "People with depression or anxiety could lose sickness benefits, says UK minister", Guardian, 29 April 2024

That's what the NHS is supposed to be doing...

Genuinely absolutely terrifying.

Can anyone living in the UK join in with an (hopefully!) overwhelming cascade of unique emails to their MP opposing this? WriteToThem.com makes it very quick and easy.

They're proposing to replace it with one-off grants that the individual can apply for, which is absurd and horrifying, so feel free to point out how that won't work as well!

Here's what I'm writing, and do not just copy-paste my letter/email, because that makes it less legit. Do your own thing, even just one sentence telling your MP that you're opposed is enough if that's all you can manage. Whatever you want to say is what your MP needs to hear.

Dear [MP's name], Today I learned that the government plan to scrap PIP, and maybe replace it with something like a one-off grant application process, before the next election. ("Disabled people face end to monthly benefits cash", BBC News, 29 April 2024: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn0ry09d50wo) PIP is about half of my income (about 44%). I don't spend it on occasional large purchases, I spend it on countless things that are more expensive for me than they are for other people. PIP is in place to acknowledge, as it says in the above article, that disabled people's lives are more expensive than non-disabled people's lives by hundreds of pounds per week. ("Previous research from Scope suggests households with at least one disabled adult or child face an estimated average extra cost of £975 a month to have the same standard of living as non-disabled households." That's £225 per week, and the maximum amount of PIP you can get is £184.) So firstly, it could be argued that PIP doesn't even cover the additional expenses of the average disabled household. And next, the cost of implementing an alternative system would be worse for disabled people, totally unsuited to its purpose, and more expensive to run. Worse for disabled people: Currently PIP acknowledges that being disabled takes a lot more work to maintain a comparable standard of living, and as it's an amount of work that the claimant cannot sustainably do, they are given money so that they can pay someone else to do it. These costs are distributed across all living expenses, in addition to occasional one-off purchases of e.g. mobility aids. Having to apply for one-off payments for expenses would be more work on top of that, so if the disabled person isn't able to do it (which is very likely) they will either have to work less in their day jobs in order to spend more time applying for one-off grants, or they will have to also apply for one-off payments to pay someone to apply for more one-off payments. This is self-evidently a waste of energy and time, and totally impractical, as well as being counter to the entire point of disability benefits. It would also be extremely undignified for the disabled people, and arguably against human rights (right to private life and dignity), to have to justify each purchase to the government. Totally unsuited to its purpose: One off-grants are not suited to ongoing higher expenses such as having to buy more prepared food (e.g. carrot batons are more expensive than raw carrots and go off much more quickly). Does this policy assume that disabled people's PIP is only for things like wheelchairs and walking sticks? More expensive to run: The system for PIP applications is already fairly backlogged, in that my last application took over 6 months to complete. I was awarded PIP for 10 years. If every application for a one-off grant had to be accompanied by an application of a similar scale that wouldn't be workable, so presumably an initial PIP application like the current system's would still be required to qualify for the system in the first place, and then following that, numerous smaller applications for money (e.g. for taxis, pre-chopped veg, painkillers, specialist clothing, etc.) would be carried out per person per month. The disability benefits system would have to be scaled up significantly, and it would be much more expensive. It is far cheaper to give people a set amount of money based on their needs; it's the same money that you would be giving them in grants anyway, but without having to process each purchase/one-off application. I implore you to oppose this proposal. It is blatantly unworkable to the level of absurdity, but more importantly it is inhumane. I look forward to your reply detailing your stance. Many thanks in advance. Yours sincerely, [My name]

But, again, if you can't manage anything long or complicated like that, your best is good enough. Even if they're not all perfectly written and detailed, we want to bowl them over with sheer quantity of emails.

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Why can't your husband buy his own xbox :/ why does he NEED an xbox anyway if y'all are struggling...

We can't afford anything nice at the moment. I had planned on using my earnings from selling my quilts, but I didn't make enough money to cover the more important things, like paying off our debts. Why should people who are poor not have nice things? Why must those of us who are poor be made to suffer because capitalism insists on hoarding money rather than putting it into livable wages that then make it possible for people to spend money and make the economy healthier? Why must those of us who are poor be forced to live unhappy?

My husband just started a new job two days ago, he turns 50 next month, and he has his original XBox One, and it's falling apart. It can no longer read discs, and all his games are on disc. It likes to randomly disconnect from the internet, and we using streaming services rather than cable. It also likes to randomly lose the ability to even operate at all. Why must he suffer and be unhappy?

An outlet for the struggling is healthy, but going to the gym is not nor shall ever be an option because they're filthy, and we're both high risk of getting sick and dying from covid19 (over 1000 people die from it every week in the US, but the economy is more important than people). Playing video games is a good way to get aggression out without actively hurting anyone.

How do you suggest he spends his off-hours? Or his days off? After all the yard and housework is finished, he's in pain. Arthritis in his shoulders, elbows, and hands, neuropathy in his feet, these make it difficult to do much physical labor without suffering from pain for hours or days afterwards. Dyslexia makes reading difficult, and just sitting and painting his miniatures without something playing in the background makes it less enjoyable and more difficult to focus courtesy of unmedicated ADHD. Do you suggest he just sit in a quiet room for hours and hours, staring at the wall?

The reason I ask for help acquiring a new console for him is because we are struggling. If I sold all my paintings at my asking price, it would have most of the debt covered. I would be more comfortable spending money on something nice for him if I had most of the debt paid. He's my caregiver, and I'm permanently Disabled. He does the cooking, laundry, yardwork, and so much more, while also working outside our home. He's exhausted. Playing video games helps him recover and prevent burnout. Do you suggest he burnout and suffer it for months or years?

Now how about you relieve yourself of some stress and misery by pulling out the stick you have shoved up your ass and stop criticizing folks for asking for help? Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you need to make certain everyone else is as well, seeing as misery loves company. That nasty taste of last week's dinner that you've been tasting is having a serious impact on how you interact with other people. Removing the stick and the taste will go away, give yourself time to recover and adjust to having a major source of your unhappiness removed, and learn to breathe and accept that some people don't see shame in asking for help. If, however, you insist on continuing with keeping the stick up there and judging me based on limited information and many assumption, you must purchase either a quilt or painting from my shop. Otherwise our next interaction will result in me simply blocking you. I have more important things to do than justify not wanting to be miserable.

If the stick is difficult to remove, a laxative might be just what you need.

[not-poignant]

If you don't mind me asking why did you stop working as a professional artist? Your work is amazing! I could totally see your animal artwork being in kids picture books or even on wrapping paper

Hi anon!

I'm so so glad you enjoy the art! That makes me happy. Feel free to check out my DeviantArt because there's a lot more there than elsewhere. :D (Eventually I'll probably be using ArtStation or something like that too dsalkfjsa).

I stopped working as a professional artist because of money. I make more money as a writer than I ever could as an artist, despite giving art my all. Not to mention that art gave me repetitive strain injuries in my wrists (that I still have to this day) as well as eye-strain and a few other physical ailments that I still have to be careful of.

While writing is hard on the body, it could never be as hard or challenging as my particular art style was. And after a while it just got hard to justify working that hard, in that much pain, for like 0.50c an hour. And while I don't make that much more these days, I definitely make more for less suffering!

But yeah it was purely a financial/economical decision. I still actually do make art! But I no longer do commissions, and I pretty much only do it when I feel like it. But some of the things I've done this year alone include:

I think professional traditional art is also in some ways less disability friendly than writing. Or at least the kind of writing I do. I'm a traditional artist, and the easiest ways to make money as a traditional artist are to go the gallery circuit, which requires visiting galleries, pitching to them, and being seen at gallery shows (all things I could not do), or to go the mass production circuit via selling prints and so on. But I also can't go to print shops. And I can't drive. And I can't get to the post office (Glen posts all my art for me). As a result, I have to use a lot of POD services (and I do have a Redbubble storefront!), and anyway, it just didn't work out.

I still sort of think of ways to monetise the art on occasion. Which is usually trying to go beyond the lifespan of just selling an original piece of art. I tried prints, that didn't didn't work out. I tried colouring pages, that didn't work out. Children's picture books are the least profitable form of writing and art-making out there, unfortunately (people don't know this, but it's the most competitive writing market out of all of them, with the least longevity, because kids grow out of picture books, so while a few authors make a mint, most authors and artists make a pittance). I released an oracle deck and that made me about $900 this year which... is both good and not great or sustainable.

So yeah, that's why. Because while I'm not making a liveable income still, it's more liveable for less labour. My decision to quit art was purely down to income, which is why I know if things get dire with writing, I will do the same with writing, because I have given away a creative career that I loved before.

That being said, I have the particular satisfaction of knowing that my artwork is owned / has been commissioned by a cameraman / cinematographer that worked with David Attenborough across many of his series, and filmed birds of paradise on location more than once (he purchased almost all of my birds of paradise illustrations). By a head zookeeper at London Zoo who got so many pieces we became friends and are mutuals across social media, and I got to meet her in 2019 and she took us 'behind the scenes' to spend a lot of personal time with penguins and we chatted for ages.

Because I've done so much creative natural history illustration I've made connections and friends with biologists and zoologists all over the world, and it's been a humbling privilege to have been able to draw the favourite animals of some people, especially when those animals rarely get artwork in general. And I still love animals, so I do still draw them.

But it likely won't ever be my main job again sdalfkdjs

[dalishborne]

🍆how do they feel about toys? do they have any? what’s their favorite? do they use them with partners?

Sinday Headcanons || Accepting!

Oh, Revenelan definitely loves toys, certainly has a few of her own that she uses. I think the types of toys she has depends on the verse in terms of like, mechanical/technological capabilities. Details under the cut just in case lol.

In her DA!verse I've imagined that she has maybe one or two dildos, one wooden and one glass, probably not too interesting in shape. The glass one was likely more expensive and she probably had to hype herself up to justify her purchase, but it's likely her favourite of the two. Easier to clean, plus she likes that it holds temperature better compared to the wooden one (she could enjoy slightly warming or cooling it down through magic.) I think she'd love to experiment with more varieties but either hasn't found what she wants or feels as though she can't justify spending money on it. With a partner, she'd be more inclined to expand her/their collection because she'd be doing so for their pleasure as well. Sex toys would be very much encouraged in her relationships.

bg3!Revie is a little different because she's much longer lived and as a result, has more sexual experiences to teach her what she really enjoys, and she also is a little more enthusiastic about self pleasure. Toys would be something she's pretty excited about. She'd likely have her own strap on harness/a small variety of dildos (and they'd probably be less... conventional, if you know what i mean lol), some restraint items (she'd enjoy things like handcuffs/leashes but not so much rope, unless it's a softer texture. Also she's not at all afraid to use some of her magic as a means of restraint. Entangle, anyone?) Definitely a ball gag and likely a set of butt plugs too, but those really only get used if the mood strikes or she's planning on working up to doing butt stuff with someone lol.

[myramillan]

There is a suggestion to kill it before it begins to lay eggs

Botting isn't without its benefits and drawbacks for the entire Runescape community, every decent player should be wary of any temptation to use these scam bots. Botters are often defended by those who claim that it's a non-victimless crime, OSRS gold or one that must be taken care of to protect the community. And without these bots, there'd be far fewer items available to purchase in the Grand Exchange and they would cost... far more.

This may seem harsh, but it is true. However it's not so bad as you think. If genuine hardworking players need be willing to shell out more money for things they need but they also have the option of selling items they have put efforts into farming to the same cost due to a lower availability and more demand. It's as simple as that. Economics isn't that difficult to grasp, especially when you're engaging in blogs such as this one.

At the final, this will make sense to even out or to the benefit of fair players. If this isn't sufficient for you then keep in mind that bots can also be used to improve the game's skills. It's the biggest disappointment from a player's standpoint, considering the difficulty of the game when a person who truly is in love with RuneScape playing for time playing observes another character sporting the same or even superior equipment interacting with machines. It is easy to spot an automated game.

There is a suggestion to kill it before it begins to lay eggs. After spotting their initial bots, the user begins to see them all over the place. It's like something you'd see in the "6th Sense" film. In the end, his enthusiasm for the game gets to a new low. You then ask yourself: why do I want to take part when I could operate a bot, and perform something other than play? In the beginning, the player does not want to run a play bot. He attempts to remain in a fair manner, and tries to remain engaged and uses his disappointment to motivate him to put in more effort.

After a few minutes, but then the reality sets in the botter gives up, and another botter is born on the earth. Ladies and gentlemen, the cycle continues. Botting is a major issue and must be addressed ASAP. Botting is a method of gaining financial gain, it's utilized to automatize repetitive work, it can be used to make progress without putting on the job first.

Anything you can do yourself. If you're feeling stuck or frustrated about it, you can buy OSRS Gold and make it easy to complete. In the end, botting eliminates the fun that the game might provide. Gaming is about stepping into an entirely different world from ours and working hard to make it happen. This sly method is on the contrary and needs to be stopped. Do not be like that dear Runescapers.If you've become an expert in flipping the Gielinor and you noticed that it takes quite a bit of time to purchase and sell products, assess their worth, overcome concurrence and the list goes on. To counter this the players begin to practice another useful techniques like inactive flipping. Once you're proficient at it then there's just a single step to take to the next level on the Grand Exchange journey - investing. While it's possible to invest in the long run, investing for short-term time frames can yield the same results. The point is, does anyone not wish to make money on RS gold as soon as is possible?

If you're looking to purchase and sell things with reasonable profits as quickly as you can while flipping investing is a completely different, especially when it comes to the time consumed. It is always advisable to be looking for ways to spend less, but reap more benefits. If you decide to invest in short-term, you should look at ways to earn dividends in the space of about 48 hours. Of course, it is possible to continue to hold on to those things for a longer period of time, cheapest OSRS gold however you must always have an argument to justify that, which is built on a certain amount of expertise and knowledge.

[briamichellewrites]

68

2015. Bria and Rob didn’t know what happened. They went from being in love to fizzling out. He couldn’t be alone with his thoughts, so he sought out Brad. Since the beginning, he thought of him as his role model. He also had a crush on him. Did he know? Yeah, he did. He thought it was cute. Rob was a great guy, who just didn’t have the best luck with girls. He tried his hardest but every relationship he was in ended after a short time.

He truly thought he would be with Bria forever. Brad asked what happened. He didn’t know. Could he say what he thought? It would probably hurt, but he had a feeling he needed to hear it.

“You guys were not in love. Not as much as you thought. You loved her, but you jumped in too quickly. She never should have come with us on tour. That’s not to say we didn’t enjoy having her. We did. You guys needed to spend more time apart, instead of spending every second together.”

“Yikes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

He was welcome. What was he going to do? He didn’t know. Maybe he would go home for a while. They had some time before they started working on their new album. That was a good idea. He would call Phoenix but he had a suspicion he was with Chester. Brad laughed. The two of them had become very close during their last tour.

They all thought they saw them touching each other when they thought no one was looking. Whatever they were doing was none of their business. As long as it didn’t affect the band. If they were having an affair, they didn’t want to know about it. Chester was trying to get out of his marriage. His wife threatened to take the kids away from him if he ever filed for divorce. He was secretly working with an attorney to help him through the legal process.

She could have whatever she wanted. He just wanted his kids. Talinda was cheating on him with different men, so he used that to justify his affair with Phoenix. She didn’t love him. The only reason she married him was because she was pregnant. She wanted his money. At home, she beat him down verbally and she dangled her affairs in his face.

Phoenix was safe because he loved him for who he was. He let him cry without being ashamed or embarrassed. They talked about his cravings for alcohol without judgment. Alcohol was not going to help him. It would just make things a lot worse. He encouraged him to go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings with him. Everything he said in the meetings was confidential. No, he wasn’t ready for that. Phoenix was scared for him.

“Chester, please get help. One day I’m going to wake up and find out that you took your life. Go to rehab or therapy or AA. Do it for yourself. Not for me. If you don’t, then you are going to die. Maybe it will be from an overdose or suicide.”

“Babe, I’m almost forty. I don’t know how much longer I can live with this.”

“You can. Every day you wake up and every night you go to sleep. Don’t think about Talinda. She doesn’t matter. Think about how much you have accomplished in your life. Your time is not over. You will die when you’re in your nineties. I have faith in that and in you. You can do this.”

He wiped his tears away from his eyes. Phoenix wrapped his arms around him and he kissed his forehead. I love you. He loved him too.

Bria was visiting New York with her cats. Phoenix and Mike didn’t like taking off and landing, but they loved looking out the window of the airplane. She held on to their leashes, so they didn’t run around the airplane and get in the way of the flight attendants. They both had been fed before boarding but she had their treats and water bowl ready. She filled it up in the bathroom after they were in the air. They also had their beds, which she put on two of the seats. They were curious about everything.

When they got to the apartment, she let them roam around. The Waldorf Astoria Hotel. It was one of the most famous hotels in New York. Jean purchased a condo for millions of dollars in the nineties. He and Marie used it multiple times while he was in the city for meetings.

It came with a lot of amenities that included a pool, a lounge, a wellness lodge, and package delivery. They even had full-time staff, concierge, and doormen. Only the rich could afford it. Jean always treated everyone with respect and he made sure his daughter did as well. He was known for being a big tipper and for saying please and thank you when asking for help. Nothing was demanded. The apartment was cleaned and made ready for her arrival. They even set out cat treats and toys.

briamichelle: In the words of Taylor Swift… Welcome to New York! Mike and Phoenix are THRILLED to be here!

She posted a picture of the cats looking at her with annoyed expressions on their faces. Were they excited to be there? They didn’t know. They were cats. It was the early afternoon, so she decided to take them to Central Park. After getting their harnesses and leashes on, she grabbed her purse, phone, and keys. On their way out, they had a brief conversation with the front desk clerks.

Detective Amanda Rollins and her partner, Detective Fin Tutuola were patrolling Central Park when they came across Bria and her cats. There’s something you don’t see every day. They stopped to say hello. Bria introduced herself and her cats. They were visiting the city from LA. Where did they get their names? They were named after her friends, Mike and Phoenix. Fin could tell which one was which by their colors. Amanda told her to enjoy the city.

“We will. Thank you.”

The cats loved being outside! There was so much to see, smell, and hear! They were house cats, so everything was brand new to them. Fin thought her name sounded familiar. When they got back to the station, he looked her up because he was curious. Amanda came over and asked him what he found. Their squad mates also came over to see what he was looking at.

“I knew she sounded familiar! Bria Lavigne is the only daughter of multibillionaire, Jean Lavigne who died in a plane accident in 2013.”

“Yeah, that’s her.”

“Who is this”, their sergeant asked.

“We just ran into her walking her cats in Central Park. She said they’re visiting from LA for a while”, she explained.

She was very polite. They never would have known she was a multibillionaire. Why was she walking her cats? Because that’s what people did in New York. She had no idea. Fin laughed as they all went back to work at their desks. Amanda secretly looked her up on the computer. She found her Instagram account. After putting it into her phone, she went back to what she was doing.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[frabjousdei]

Fuck you, Oral-B

I needed a new toothbrush. My gums are a bit screwed up and my wife’s cousin (who is a dentist) recommended I get one of the new Oral B “iO” models, because it would be good for the specific problem I have. But they’re expensive and so was the old Oral B I already had, so I couldn’t justify it until my existing one broke. Which it did quite suddenly, so yay! And I started researching.

The only two features I wanted were the vibration action intrinsic to the “iO” line and a travel case that charged via USB. A battery that lasted longer than about three days (as the old one did) would be good, but if I could charge via USB I already take an elaborate USB charging setup with me when I travel, so who cares.

There are seven current models in the line, the iO 3 through 10, ranging in price from about €40 to over €300 (!!!) for essentially the same device with extra features layered on at each price point. But the thing is, almost all of those features are useless. More “brushing modes”, colour screen, Bluetooth connectivity—all pointless for 95% of people, but they deliberately segment the market so if you want an actually useful feature like a travel case, or a travel charging case (different price points!), you have to spend a whole lot of money on “pretend value” you don’t want or need to get the one feature you do. And once you put an nRF52 (or whatever) microcontroller in these things it’s just a matter of software anyway and the marginal hardware BOM cost for most of these extra “features” is approximately €0.

The Oral B marketing websites deliberately obfuscate all of this, of course. None of them explain in real English words what the differences between the models are and on top of that it’s one of those horrible product categories that’s SEO’d out the wazoo so nobody else will explain it to you either. I found exactly one third-party website which went into any useful detail what the actual differences between the models were. And only from that one was I finally convinced I’d have to shell out €200 to get the one feature over the base model that I wanted, a USB travel charging case.

So with great reluctance, because I detest being scammed like this (especially when I can see the exact nature of the scam), I bit the bullet and paid €200 for an Oral B iO 9 “Special Edition”, which came with a travel charging case and a little bag that goes in which somehow made it “special”.

It arrived, I opened the box and found… what I assumed to be a USB-C travel case had a proprietary connector and cable with a hard-wired wall-wart. I was fucking livid. I had made the assumption that the only reasonable way this could possibly be designed would be for the case to have a USB-C socket—but no, because the product development team at Oral B are maliciously insane, they had implemented a proprietary connector hard wired to a two-pin Europlug wall-wart. This entirely defeats the fucking purpose. Have none of these people ever gone anywhere? Instead of a small USB cable which literally everyone in 2023 takes a charger for with them every time they travel, they expect me to take a separate cable, with its own wall-wart, plus a power socket pin-adapter for whatever country I was going to. Utterly user-hostile product design.

I contacted the retailer wanting to return this €200 piece of useless garbage under the statutory European 14 day purchase cooling-off period. But then I was told there was an exception for “hygiene articles” like toothbrushes and since I had broken the “safety seal” (the only way to collapse the marketing bullshit wave function and determine the deficient reality of the product) it didn’t apply, and I was stuck with it.

Then I got really fucking mad.

I looked closer at the wall-wart. In 3-point regulation-mandated flyspeck, it detailed an input voltage of 110-220V AC and an output of 12V DC at 0.4A. Hm. USB-C trigger cables are a thing… but on closer inspection, 12V isn’t actually an official part of the USB-C PD spec, so it might not work on all USB-C charging ports. But you can buy USB-A cables with 12V boost converters built in and 12V @ 0.4A is 4.8W which is within the USB-A spec. Two days and nine whole Euros later (for two!) I had the offending part in my hand. I snipped the proprietary Oral B connector off and, carefully having tested the polarity with a multimeter, wired it to the USB-A 12V boost cable (“solderless” butt connectors are cool.) Then I plugged it in to the charging case.

Fuck me, it worked first time. Perfectly.

So now I have an obviously useful thing Oral-B refused to sell me because they’d prefer to soak me for useless features rather than doing the pitifully simple engineering—I didn’t even need to use a god damned soldering iron—to build something actually useful that met their customers’ obvious needs.

(As a side-note, the rest of the product design is fucking awful too. There’s an accelerometer in there which makes it wait until you set it on its end before it plays a 20 second animation before showing you the current charge level. Pointless and annoying. And that end is really small on such a top-heavy device, so you have to make sure you balance it well on its normal charger to stop it toppling over onto the tiled floor literally everyone has in their bathroom. I hope you don’t have kids who think that colour screen is cool and knock your €200 device onto that tiled floor as they go to grab it! And hey, I’ve got a good idea, let’s take an item that you use when your hands are wet and make it out of smooth plastic so it’s really slippery. That’s a fucking brilliant product design decision that’s totally not a regression from the rubberised handle of the previous version. The smooth featureless membrane buttons you can’t find just by feel, that’s an improvement too! You morons.)

Fuck you, Oral B. And fuck your marketing-over-customer-needs focussed attitude and the horse it rode in on.

[oh-katsuki]

the plus side to using a big ass wacom tablet is that it has made me quite techy and i now understand drivers, hard drives, scratch disks, and certain software bugs with installation and usage. the bad news is that i have a mac so i run into these problems so frequently that i have to set aside an hour for trouble shooting before i can even start drawing with it. 

[ohheyitsokay]

Omg I'm SO sorry!!! I'm the soulmates pain AU anon, I was completely aware you were the one with the milestone!! I saw the post through Molly's rb and I was almost completely sure I had opened your blog to send you the ask but alas, the Tumblr app can never give you any certainties. That long-ass message was completely dedicated to you, I still can't quite grasp how I managed to send it to scribbledghost 🙄🙄🙄 Sorry!!! Congrats again, I love you!!!!

for reference a Din Djarin x reader soulmate request where your soulmate feels your injuries and pain

hello, dear heart!

I wanted to say, before anything else, thank you. I've reread your words multiple times since you sent this, confirming they were to me, and they really mean the world to me. thank you so, so much! anyway, your idea is fantastic, I had a lot of fun with this one! I hope you like seeing what I did with your already wonderful thoughts 💕

ps it's well documented that I'm a big fan of sprawling thoughts, so please never apologize for sharing them!

warnings: mentions canon-typical injuries, a bunch of fluff. at least enough for a couple of throw pillows

>>

soulmate requests / follower celebration

<<

There's a short burn on his forearm when he wakes.

Din stares at it, wondering at the dull ache, trying to place the injury from yesterday's adventure when it hits him. Hot and golden warmth, flooding through his chest, thawing his flesh against the cold filtered air.

It's one of yours.

A burn, on his forearm.

And selfishly, indulgently, he pauses for a moment, mind slipping away from duty and expectations to dwell in the daydream of his soulmate.

First, his mind creates an image of a blurry mandalorian caretaker, gently moving around a kitchen in the covert. You stir a pot, tapping the spoon on the side before setting it down. Hearing distant calls, you turn too quickly and oh - a sliver of burn along your arm.

Din wants to help, wants to pull you away from the domestic .... danger, and he rushes forward. Your helmet turns to him and he almost sees it - before his mind can no longer produce the answers he aches for late at night.

The second image is of you, in armor as gleaming as his own, in a thick, unrecognizable forest. The hairs on his neck are at full attention, already subconsciously wanting to shout - but you don't need his help. You're breathtaking in all versions of his daydream - but watching you fight with practiced ease punches the air from his lungs. For a moment he feels self-conscious of his awkward maneuvers and slapdash fighting but then his mind pulls him back. You're protecting someone, or else you wouldn't have messed up - you never do, injuries from you are too rare - but you shove them behind you, shooting an enemy over your shoulder before your helmet snaps back. There are so many - you're surrounded - and a hot, sharp blaster bolt grazes your forearm before your fury is truly unleashed.

He runs his fingers over the burn, almost giddy at the possibilities.

Mandalorians are few and far between, but he's grateful he has a soulmate, and even more thankful you've kept yourself out of harm's way almost entirely, since you'd been connected.

As he dons his layers, the shine of his armor reflects bruises and scrapes littered across the expanse of his skin. His own, from his journey, and one beautiful little burn from his soulmate.

And then they're covered, and the armor is tied securely in place, and he leaves his daydreams in the room as the ship door slides unceremoniously shut.

-

You hiss at the burn, clutching your arm.

Great. Just what you needed - another injury to add to your impressive collection.

At least my soulmate gets a gift from me this time. You roll your eyes.

The vendor next to your stall is a sweet lady, already apologizing for her steaming pots and pans and offering you compensation.

The credits would be nice, but you could hardly justify taking anything, especially since it was your soulmate's fault your body was riddled with aches and pains in the first place.

Waving your hand, you accept her counter offer - a bowl of her perfect broth and noodles - before retreating. You sell cloth, from beautiful dyed lengths tucked away to sturdy, unstainable blacks, and it was days like today that you thanked your stars for that choice.

There's a thick pile in the middle that you perch on, sinking into the folds as your body cries at you, and you sigh over your soup in relief. The burden of waking to webbing bruises and sprawling scrapes and the more-than-occasional broken bone is eased by your stall - sitting and haggling until the sun goes down. That is, unless there's drama in the market, as it seems there is today.

In the distance you hear shouts, more than those of vendors selling meat on sticks to passing warriors and merchants - the taunts of drunkards.

Someone is coming, and you almost laugh when you see his form in the distance, because he's trying and failing to be inconspicuous. It's impossible, with his gleaming armor, but still he ducks into shadowy spots, forgetting - or maybe ignoring - their inhabitants.

"A Mandalorian has graced our market," your neighbor remarks dryly. They were respected, but it was well known that chaos followed them. You share a look, both wishing you were wealthy enough to conpletely pack up shop. If anything, a logical person would put away most of the stock and hunker down for a few hours. Weighing the odds was difficult: if you were lucky, the chaos wouldn't bother your business, and shoppers might be drawn out, hoping for entertainment and spending as they waited. If you weren't, a wayward burst of plasma or blaster fire would destroy your whole month's stock.

You looked at him again, the Mandalorian kneeling down the street. His form was... almost handsome, formidable but careful. He was light on his feet, seemingly with gentleness on his mind, and it drew you in like a moth to flame. You decided to stay, and hope for the best, your curiosity pulsing like your bruises.

And you were lucky, that day, because he ducked away not a moment later, taking the exciment with him.

Until, he came back the next day, this time on the prowl, stalking up and down the edge of Dicer's Row, one hand on his blaster and the other atop a bulky, wriggling bag. This time, you ventured to stand, folding and refolding your displays as you watched him through your lashes.

And then he made his move, and you sighed, feigning a yawn to cover your disappointment from your neighbor's knowing smile. She shouldn't be wiggling her eyebrows over the box wall between you - honestly his type were more annoying than anything. A crash from the alley confirmed it: there was no way a guy like that cared about his soulmate. The gentleness from before was surely a trick of the light.

Your whole side lit up with pain, the impact of something hard against your whole side and you groaned, settling into your mound again. Any curiosity or attraction was snuffed under your annoyance and pain, and your mood soured like fruit left unpicked on the tree.

Selfish, you thought, glaring as a chicken ran squawking from the commotion. What a jerk.

-

The next day, you tried to maintain the sentiment, huffing as he wandered the stalls.

Why does he keep coming back?

You'd have thought his time here was over when he'd dragged that lowlife out of town yesterday. But here he was, buying a crock of soup at the stall next to you, and ignoring her comments about how he couldn't eat it with his helmet on.

She had warmed to him, since he'd put money in her pocket, chattering in a way that kept him stuck for long moments.

It struck you as strange - he almost seemed too awkward to leave, like her returned generosity actually meant something to him. A man like him... surely could've just walked away.

But he stayed for awhile, nodding and looking at the spoons she carved in her free time, and you almost thought he was looking at you, too. Then he ducked his head and planted himself in front of you, and certainly he was.

For all the years you'd spent weaving words to sell your fabrics and goods, you'd never been so speechless. The Mandalorian was large, sharp, shining edges and bulky canvas packs tied to his shoulders - he seemed out of place, filling your whole stall, shuffling as he loomed over you.

He asked for soft brown things - children's clothes.

"Of course, I - I mean, yes, just over here -" you tripped over your words, caught completely off guard by the shape of him, the feel of him just an arms width away, and his request. You stumbled from your seat, nearly toppling in your hurry and his gloved hand wrapped around your arm, catching you.

"You're injured," he stated not really asking. It was... overwhelmingly intimate, him knowing, and acknowledging it, like he cared.

"Yeah, my..." you swallowed, trying not to get lost in the dark glass inches from your face. "My self-centered soulmate keeps getting himself nearly killed."

Even with your heart thumping in your chest, you couldn't keep the bite from your words, bitterness having collected over years of nursing injuries that were consequences of someone else's actions. He didn't let go of you for a moment, his helmet pulling back and tilting, like he was startled.

Then he was cautious, unbearably so, releasing his grip like a child freeing a captured creature when it was time. The topic was dropped, and he made his purchase quickly, but before he left, he paused. The Mandalorian's gloved hand ghosted over your cheek, slowly moving a hair back into it's place, and if you hadn't known better, it was almost an apology.

And then, thick cape swirling in the dust, tiny clothes in tow, he swept away, leaving you along with your whole body alight with a foreign longing.

-

Din felt as though he'd been stabbed.

Hot, hot feelings poured through his chest, spreading fast as fire as he desperately tried to sort through them.

You - you were incredible, fragile and bruised, with the most stunning, determined eyes he had ever seen. Not a Mandalorian, and you had a ... a soulmate, a fucker who left your skin littered with marks, burdening you with ...

He felt panicked, shocked, and guilty, just as he had when you'd told him. It had never occred to him that his soulmate might be there... out there, constantly burdened by his recklessness. His body screamed for attention, something he so often ignored, but this time, he was almost deafened by it.

His feet, legs, arms, chest, heart - all of them wanted him to return to you, in your little fabric stall. To... what? Truly, he hadn't the slightest idea, so his mind won out, shaking a little to try to reign in the muscles that he'd taught to obey him.

He couldn't go to you.

But, he couldn't stay away.

-

He was back in the market, and this time, he wasn't being subtle about staring at you.

Tall and ... slow, he waded through the crowds, making his was towards you like he was following a careful path.

"Can I help you?" You stood, moving almost involuntarily towards him. "Was there something wrong with my -" he was already shaking his head, hands reaching to make you shush.

Waiting, an irrational part of your mind wished he would touch you again, would place his big hands on your skin and sooth the aches that haunted your life. It was unfair, but you didn't stop it, couldn't if you tried.

Carefully, he slid a single finger to your arm, pushing up your sleeve to reveal the little burn you'd gotten.

He was being gentle. It made you want to stomp your feet, jealously welling up in your heart like bile, bitter and hot. How could it be, that someone so powerful had learned so quickly, wanted to, and he wasn't - he wasn't even your -

Then he moved again, pushing up his own sleeve and your thoughts tumbled over each other. It was intimate, even more than before, desperately trusting, as his skin near glowed in the morning light. And there was a burn on his skin, hairs singled like they'd met the edge of a pot of boiling broth.

You wanted to punch him. This man has spent years tossing his body around like he had one one spare, making your own as brittle as bread crust and - you wanted to kiss him. This man had learned after a single day, the impact of his actions, and had been nothing but kind.

The forehead of his helmet pressed into yours, and the two sides of your mind compromised.

Later, words would come - they had to.

But now, your eyes closed, and you sighed. He had the rest of your life to make it up to you - and he would, you were sure.

<<

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @horton-hears-a-honk @saradika @zinzinina

[mp100fanworkstranslation]

Reigen gets a Smart Phone

Reigen thinks: When did they all switch to smart phones?

So does that mean I’m the only one still using a flip phone?

No... No that cant be, the main purpose of a cell phone is to communicate. In that respect, it does great. More functions are not necessarily useful. Most of it is just entertainment and pointless frills.

The battery drains faster, the screen is a lot easier to break and they’re more expensive. 

Haaaaa!! Check it out Losers! Six super rares! Told you I’d get ‘em!

Serizawa: WHOAA!! Ekubo Senpai, you’re amazing! That’s so much grinding, I’m not even close.....

Mob: My mom won’t let me to play on the phone at night, so I never get the  chance to grind. 

Ekubo: HAHAHAHA That kind of skill is difference between you ordinary people and gods like me! um... not including shigeo’s ???% form that is.... 

Reigen: Um.... Guys?

Reigen: Aren’t you guys spending too much time playing phone games at work?

Serizawa: Ah! I... I’m sorry. 

Mob: But isn’t this our lunch break? 

Ekubo: HAHAHAHAHA What, you guys can’t tell? Reigen’s just jealous cuz he doesn't have a smart phone. 

Reigen backpedaling: I’m just curious is all. Why did you guys all decide to switch to smart phones all of a sudden? 

Serizawa: The GPS app is really helpful, now that I’m no longer at home all the time. The other apps are really useful for work and school.

Mob: My mom got it for me after I did well on midterms. 

Ekubo: How should I know. It came with the body.

Some time later, Reigen is outside the phone store looking at the ads. 

The phones are free. The plans range from 90 to 100 dollars monthly.

Reigen: It’s almost a hundred dollars a month! Several times more expensive than my flip phone. 

This is a money sink that’s not going to contribute meaningfully to my life.

Ugh.. when I really think about it, I don’t need a phone with so many functions. The phone I’ve got now is by no means old, and I’m pretty used to it. 

Reigen: I can’t get carried away by vanity. I don’t blindly mirror the choices of others, that’s not who I am and how I want to live. 

Little girl: Mom, that basic guy has one of those basic phones.

Mom: Shh! Not out loud!   ------

Cashier: Thank you for the purchase!

-Later at Reigen’s apartment-

So this is the cutting edge of communications technology... It feels like opening a treasure chest. - as he opens the box -

WOOOOOW!!

Ah! so this is the user manual. I see... I see. What was the game they were playing? 

Found it! Ooooooo! My avatar looks so cool.

Hahaha found Ekubo! What a fitting avatar for an evil spirit!

Ah! Mob’s avatar is adorable. Aww he’s going to sleep now. 

-The next morning-

Ugghghhhh can’t keep grinding....

You can’t get past any of the bosses without seriously strong upgrades.

-Gets up stiffly-

Okay time to spin for the powerup bonus. 

-He taps to draw a new powerup.-

.....................

NO RARES, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!  

-throws phone- -nervously catches it again-

No gems left, no gold left.... is making an in game purchase the only way to get more draws? 

No wait Arataka, it’s just an app game... be reasonable!

Calm down... think about this...

-LIMITED TIME ONLY! 100% CHANCE OF RARE ITEM-

Reigen taps “buy” and there is a cash register sound effect.

As the scene zooms out, the sound effect rings several more times. (ie, he makes a bunch more in-app purchases)

Mob: Master’s been working really hard recently. He didn’t even take a lunch break today. 

Serizawa: Did something happen? 

GODDAMMMMIT I maxed out my funds on in-app purchases. Have to take on more jobs to make up for it.  

--For the first time in his life, Reigen Arataka realized the terrifying allure of escapism.--

I’m switching back to my flip phone. 

By Tamadango

.

.

This is one of my absolute favorite comics. It’s got everything I love about ALL of the characters.

- The spirits and such team just hanging out around the office, not doing any work, just casually sharing something they all enjoy. 

- Ekubo having to be THE BEST... Canonically he refers to himself as Ore-sama or “本大人” which is more accurately translated as “Your Majesty, I....” He is clearly better than everyone else and he needs to show it at even trivial things like a phone game.

-Ekubo possessing his host to play for hours and hours just so he can one up his FRIENDS (two of the most powerful psychics in the world)...and justify them as “followers” with “much to learn”.

- Mob is the most powerful esper in the world and can flatten cities effortlessly, The three adults treat him as an equal, and Serizawa even treats him as a superior. Yet he’s still a kid that needs boundaries. His MOM bought him the phone as a reward for good grades and takes it away at night. 

- Serizawa stopped being a shut in and his GPS app is allowing him the independence to be out and about for the first time in his life. His smartphone gives him the agency to start living on his own terms, just as Reigen’s flip phone allows him to stay focused on what’s important to him. 

- Reigen for all his sweaty conman disasterness is a dilligent, organized, autodidact, that started his own successful business at 25. He doesn’t play games, he’s constantly working on his business, and he understands and is proud of how offbeat and uncommon that is....but he’s not beyond moments of insecurity driven impulsiveness. It’s incredibly consistantly depicted, him being a spoilsport about the game, buying the phone, but also throwing it when he doesn’t get the in game item he wants. 

- Reigen isn’t someone that does a half assed job. He gives 110% even on jobs he’s not being paid....so it makes perfect sense that he can’t seem to stop himself from becoming overly dedicated to a phone game.

-But lastly, some culture/language meta. The characters and series is japanese, the artist that drew this comic is chinese, and it’s being translated into english by an american. The little girl at the phone store says “Mom, that basic guy has one of those basic phones.” what she really says, is “Mom look that guy has a flip phone, it’s so provincial/rural.”

China has this interesting divide between the urban and rural population. Where people living in cities view people out in the countryside as dumb rednecks that are decades behind in education, technology, social norms...etc. This is not true, but saying that someone is from the countryside is a massive insult. No one wants to be seen that way. 

English lacks this divide between urban vs rural, and the only word that fits even a little is “basic.”

So even if this is a fanart for a japanese series, the context of that line can really only be understood in chinese, and there’s no word that really comes close to that idea in english. From a translation standpoint I find that really interesting, when media hops countries it loses, but also gains things. 

God I love this comic so much

[traincat]

I know the comic piracy debate is a never-ending cycle, but in India where I live, you can't get western comics (or manga for that matter). There aren't comic book stores. Sometimes on Amazon you can find collected editions worth more than INR 1000 at least, for the paperbacks. Most older collections, even from the early 2000s, will be upwards of INR 6000. And sure, it's because the exchange value is so low for Indian rupees, but that's still a LOT of money to Indian citizens. You can get digital editions of random odd issues for approx. INR 150, so that's there. But overall it's really a huge investment to buy a physical comic. So yes, I pirate. But I get so guilty when this debate rolls around, every time. I just don't see any other alternative.

I debated whether or not to answer this considering I haven't really addressed the comics piracy issue before so I'm not sure I'm the right account to talk about it, and also because my askbox is not a confessional and I am not a priest, but then some Spider-Man news broke that I feels ties into it this so whatever, we're going for it. The comics piracy debate comes up every couple of months and will probably continue to come up every couple of months until forever and all of these points have been stated before by others because nothing in this debate is new. First things first, you shouldn't feel guilty. I'm going to suggest actually that nobody should feel guilty, unless you are like, a millionaire and you're exclusively pirating indie books. The prices you're quoting are prohibitively expensive but I have some unfortunate news for everyone involved: the prices are really bad in the US, too. If you want good collected editions, especially in hardcover, they're going to run at similar if not quite equal prices. Comics have gone from a cheap hobby to an overwhelmingly expensive hobby.

This is a good article comparing to the cover costs of American comics since the 1960s adjusted for inflation which I think puts some things in perspective. Comics currently cost roughly $5 USD per issue, which doesn't sound that bad, even though most of my monthly streaming services are roughly that price for a whole month's access to a library of content. But it only doesn't sound that bad if you're not buying special issues (the Marvel Pride book retailed for $10), and if you're only reading one or two books a month. The problem is, American superhero comics are specifically designed so you're not reading just one or two books per month -- this is why we have events! And crossovers! Not for the story potential but because it forces the consumer to purchase more product. This is why there's constantly an event running with a checklist of tie-in issues in the back. So now you're spending probably at least $20 a month. If you're a fan with a lot of interest in different titles, and in different publishers, this can easily hit triple USD digits. It's a money pit. It's not affordable to most people. And this is where that new Spider-Man news comes in, because it was announced today that Amazing Spider-Man is going back to a thrice monthly schedule like it used to operate on during Brand New Day. Which sounds good at first -- more comics, yay -- until you realize that's probably going to be $15 USD a month for a one title. That's $180 a year for one title, not including annuals or special issues. That's not feasible for a lot of fans -- young fans, poor fans, fans with other financial obligations etc. And most people aren't reading just one title. I don't know how the X-Men fans are currently financing their Krakoa habit and I'm afraid to ask. There are services like Marvel Unlimited, which make things slightly more affordable, but I imagine the wait for newer issues to hit the service can be alienating for some fans who want to join in current discussions, the library has some incredibly massive holes in it which is unacceptable when it's coming from inside the mouse house, and I believe, although I could be wrong, that it is not available in all countries. Comics are no longer an easily accessible hobby, if you're paying for everything you read.

"But the creatives deserve to get paid" is the common argument and yeah, they do, I'm not arguing that point. They should absolutely get paid and they should get well. I'm a writer, I'm a published writer even, and I want to be a published novelist, and I definitely want to get paid, and I'm reserving the right to be a complete hypocrite about this, as I do with everything in my life, but this is where the difference between indie publications and Marvel publications comes in: Marvel is owned by Disney. There is absolutely no excuse for Disney not to pay their creatives. If they are not getting paid fairly, it's not because you pirated a book -- it's because Disney has a vested interest in not paying their creators, as evidenced by Alan Dean Foster's lawsuit claiming that they are withholding royalties from him. Fans pirating these books are not the reason the creatives are not getting paid fairly -- the creatives are not getting paid fairly for the same reason that Disney park employees experience homelessness, and it's because Disney would rather put that money into the pockets of their executives. There is no debate on that subject. It's easier and perhaps more convenient to blame fans for pirating comics rather than putting all of their money into what has been for years now a prohibitively expensive hobby to keep up with, but the fact of the matter is Disney could pay all of their creatives what they're worth without hurting their bottom line and instead chooses not to. That is not on you, as an individual reader. You have no reason to feel guilty about that, no matter what your circumstances are, and you do not have to justify your actions to either me or the House of the Mouse. I'm with you, and Disney ultimately doesn't care. They're making that money up elsewhere and then not distributing it fairly to the people who create the properties their media empire is built off of. But especially if you're buying older books, you should know that your money is not going to the creative team -- once it's out of publication, they're not going to get any of the money you spent on it. The argument then becomes that you should be supporting local comics stores which yes, is true, but also doesn't apply to everyone, like anon who doesn't have access to local comic book stores. And again, this can become prohibitively expensive -- collections are expensive. Older, hard to find collections can be very expensive. Once something is out of print, all bets are off on what it might be selling for. Buying single issues is only affordable if the single issue isn't desirable or sometimes if it's in exceedingly bad condition. For the sake of transparency, I have a fairly big single issue collection because it's my preferred format, but I had the time to bargain hunt, access to local comic book stores and large comic conventions, and I'm very good at sniping eBay auctions. The most I have ever dropped on a single issue was expensive for me -- and still under three digits USD -- and it's for an issue from the '60s that is not in great condition.

The problem with this debate is that it is generally a nuanced issue that always gets boiled down to "piracy bad" in a way that makes a lot of well meaning and well intentioned fans, especially the ones with extenuating circumstances, feel bad. It's not your fault. You shouldn't feel guilty. There are a huge amount of reasons why someone might pirate something that are not bad reasons and do not make you a bad person who is personally withholding money from the creators -- because you're not. I don't publicly tell people where to pirate comics, mostly because I really don't think it's that hard to find out for yourselves especially because several creators involved with Marvel themselves have, I suspect accidentally, posted pages of their work to social media WITH THE BANNER OF A WELL KNOWN COMICS PIRACY SITE STILL IN THE IMAGE please learn how to crop, so maybe my standpoint on the issue wasn't well known, but there it is. I think readers should, if they are able to financially and otherwise, support the creators they like, but that it should be acknowledged that this is a more complicated issue than it's commonly made out to be on Twitter and that the largest part of the blame needs to be put on the companies making these comics inaccessible to many and who refuse to pay their creators fairly, not on individual fans. Don't feel guilty, anon.

[alicanta77]

Chapter 5: Empire Dawning

Pairing: princess!y/n x prince!Chenle

Themes: royalty au, fluff, angst

Warnings: arranged marriage, character death, injury, illness

Words: 6k

Inspiration: BTS - Blood, Sweat and Tears - orchestral cover

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Finale

tag list: @hiqhkey @jaeshatshop @lebrookestore @honei-n @cheonsa1004 @haechans-sunflower @crispy-chan @rvse-hvvck​ @chezzontop​​​

——————————————————————————

The next few months passed like a blur. You and Chenle hadn’t gone a single day without seeing each other and your happiness radiated throughout the whole kingdom. As well as spending time together, you also had your individual duties, with Chenle training with the knights and you attending council hearings and shadowing your mother.

The only dark cloud that hung over you, was your father’s health.

In the months since his injury, he still hadn’t recovered. The castle doctors couldn’t understand what the problem was. The wound had been treated with disinfectant and cared for with the utmost care, and it appeared as though it had healed. Yet, your father could barely get out of bed.

He was weak, his eyes were duller skin had less colour than normal, and you were worried. It became clear that the blade had been laced with some kind of poison, something that was intended to kill the king from the inside out. For a while you had thought that he would just be weakened, but as his health began to deteriorate once again, and you knew that he didn’t have long left.

Chenle had become a pillar of support for your mother while your father struggled. He had attended countless meetings and sessions, and provided her with advice when she asked for it. Anybody could see that he was someone she relied on and trusted with every fibre of her being.

You drew your eyes away from your mother and once again regarded the papers in front of you, tuning your ears back into the councilman who was speaking.

“By increasing taxes we can afford to pay for the renovations for the lower towns. We’ll need to purchase some materials from travelling merchants in order to deter the bandits from making more attacks. But this money will be to bring in specialists who can build the defences.”

Your mother sighed, reading the documents in her hands, reaching to sign it but Chenle’s brows furrowed and he gently stopped her hand.

“Why would we need to increase the taxes again?” He questioned, looking at the councilman who visibly swallowed under Chenle’s scrutinising gaze. “The taxes were temporarily increased in order to pay for medication for the king which hasn’t worked. I don’t think we can justify raising them again for a job that some of our own people can do.”

“The people are already giving everything they can.” You spoke up, nodding at Chenle to show your support for his objection. “If we increase the taxes, some of them may need to ration food or pick up extra jobs.”

“But this will not be a permanent raise.” The councilman argued. “This is only to ensure that the job is done properly.”

“We have some fine workmen here. Why would we hire people to do a job when we could give it to someone who is already here?” You questioned with Chenle immediately backing you up with another point after.

“Not only is that better for the economy, but it’s a solution, whereas raising taxes and bringing in external ‘specialists’ would simply create public unrest and difficulty for our people, which, in my eyes, seem to be more problems that we would then need to solve.”

Your mother placed the document back down on the table in front of her, and slid it across back to the sullen councilman.

“No.” She spoke with a quiet authority. “While your idea seemed manageable to you, it is only because you would not be the one finding solutions to the problems it causes, the Prince and Princess would. They are correct. It is not worth paying people extra to do a job that our own people can do. I want you to spread words for the work that we need done along with the salary that is offered.” Your mother gestured towards a few people on her right, who nodded at her words before she turned back towards the rest of the council. “If there are no more issues to be addressed, this concludes today’s meeting.”

When no words were spoken, the guards standing by the exit opened the large wooden doors and everyone stood. The three of you waited for the room to empty before the queen nodded at the guards again, and they shut the doors once more, this time standing on the outside of it.

“Well, that ran for longer than expected.” Your mother muttered, turning back to the two of you. “Thank you for speaking up.”

After receiving a smile and nod from both you and Chenle she turned and began to walk away, the smile slowly dropping off your face as you watched her go. She still held herself high, walking with the power that a queen would, but there was a heaviness that followed her wherever she went. It was as if she was struggling to make it through the day. 

Chenle’s hand squeezed your shoulder lightly.

“She’s just worried about your father.” He murmured, stepping forwards to wrap an arm fully around your shoulders. “Like I am about you.”

You leaned back into him, resting your head against his shoulder and sighed.

“i’ll be fine.” You reassured him, turning around and wrapping your arms lightly around his waist as he leant down to briefly touch his forehead to yours. “I just... I’ve never seen her like this. She’s always been so strong, so sure of everything she does, and now, it’s like, as my father dies, so does some part of her. I feel like I’m losing them both at the same time, and I’m not ready for it.”

Chenle nodded, taking in your words and listening intently. He leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I know it’s difficult watching them like this, it’s difficult for me too, but all we can do is be there for her, and offer her the support that your father can’t anymore.” You closed your eyes and nodded, Chenle’s words comforting you.

“You’re right. I know you’re right I just need reminding sometimes.”

Chenle nodded, placing a kiss on your cheek.

“Hey, we have some free time and I think the music room is free.” He suggested, his eyebrows raised in anticipation and you grinned in response, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the hall.

---

Chenle’s fingers danced over the piano, expertly playing the ending to the song the two of you had just sung. This place was a safe space. A place where it was just the two of you and you could forget about the countless things kept you from falling asleep at night.

The final note echoed around the otherwise empty room, and you gently shut your eyes, listening as it faded into nothingness. When you reopened your eyes, you found Chenle already looking at you. For a moment the two of you just stared at each, the silence comforting enough with words unnecessarily interrupting it.

The silence eventually grew thin and you began to think of something to say, a phrase that would match the perfection of this moment in time. Luckily for you, Chenle seemed to have a different idea on what to say, which was limited to saying nothing.

He quickly leant in, closing the short distance between the two of you and pressing his lips to yours. You kissed him back, smiling into the kiss and moving your hand up to his cheek.

“What was that for?” You asked him, the grin on your face mirrored on his.

Chenle shrugged.

“I just felt like it.” He leaned in again, placing a much softer peck on your lips before standing up.

He offered you a hand which you took, standing as well and adjusting your long dress as you did. Chenle kept a hold of your hand, using it to bring you closer to him.

“You know, one day we should get someone else to play for us.” He suggested as you raised your eyebrows.

“Is that so?” You asked as he nodded nonchalantly.

“Yep, because that way I can do this with you to someone else’s music.” He grabbed your waist lightly with his other hand and began to gently sway the two of you. 

Your body reacted on instinct, moving your free hand to his shoulder and you couldn’t stop the giggle that left you when your mind registered what you were doing.

The two of you gently danced around the room, covering ground yet never looking away from each other. Chenle turned you in a dramatic spin before dipping you as you both cracked up. The sound of footsteps echoed down the corridor, causing Chenle to pull you back up into a standing position.

The two of you shared a knowing look, predicting what was about to happen. And, just as you had thought, your lady in waiting appeared in the corner, informing you of the time. You nodded at her words that your father was asking for you and you turned back towards Chenle, pulling on his hand to guide him out of the door.

“I’ll see you later?” You asked.

“Of course.” Chenle replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Don’t forget to ask your father about us visiting the villages!”

Your eyes widened slightly at that, the thought having slipped your mind. You thanked him, promising to remember and you both walked your separate ways.

---

Chenle wandered the halls of the castle, not walking anywhere in particular and not really focusing on where he was going. He had become so familiar with these passages that he could get to any room on muscle memory alone.

He still remembers the time he got lost in the North quarter in his early days here. He’d been thinking about meeting you, and somehow taken the wrong turn, leaving it up to you to come and find him. Chenle chuckled to himself as he remembered the state of panic he had been in.

He sometimes found himself missing those early days, when everything was new and he was seeing these things for the first time. But if he was being honest, the only thing that Chenle wanted to do again for the first time, was meet you, to get to know you and learn about you all over again. To fall in love with you all over again.

Sometimes Chenle dreamt about taking you back to Shanghai, showing you off to his people and touring you around the castle he grew up in. Maybe even coming to find you when you got lost this time. But that couldn’t happen, not now at least. You couldn’t afford to leave the Queen in this state, not while the king was so fragile.

One day, Chenle promised. One day, he would show you his home.

The clanging sound of swords clashing drew him out of his thoughts and Chenle realised he was walking towards the training grounds. He let his feet carry him across the grass and he came to a stop, standing on the side of the training grounds, watching Jisung, Jaehyun and Taeyong training some new knights in swordplay.

Jisung noticed him watching, sending him a nod in acknowledgement, which Chenle returned. Jisung looked at the knight in front of him and Chenle could see the cockiness radiating off him from where he was standing.

Taeyong and Jaehyun came to stand beside Chenle, both of them patting him on the shoulder and bumping his elbow in greeting.

“They’re not a bad bunch.” Taeyong told him, referring to the new knights. “Lots of potential, they just need to get it in their heads that this isn’t all glory. That one facing Jisung now, he’s the best out of this group.”

Chenle nodded, tilting his head as he caught the end of what Jisung was saying.

“You can’t fight for something you don’t believe in.”

The knight who was facing off Jisung scoffed, making all of the knights watching raise their eyebrows in disbelief at his attitude.

“You can when you’re as skilled as I am.” The young knight retaliated, clearly attempting to show off to his friends. “I can fight for nothing and I’ll still win.”

“No.” Chenle spoke up, making all eyes turn on him as he began to walk towards them. “You’ll lose.” The jaws of knights who were training all dropped slightly at the sight of their Prince. Ever since the battle and his coronation, Chenle had been extremely well respected around the kingdom and that respect had only been going up with his close relationship with the queen. “You’ll always lose.”

Chenle stepped forward so that he was standing in front of the group of knights, standing at Jisung’s side. Jisung reached out, offering him a sword which Chenle took with a small but grateful smile.

“Those who fight without belief can never win. Because it’s that belief, that passion, that trust in what you’re fighting for that gives you strength when you need it most. The picture of what you love most in this world appears in your head and you know that, for that thing you love, you can fight for as long as you need to. Those who fight with a cause don’t fight because they have to, they fight because they want to. Because they have something worth fighting for.”

The knights were rendered speechless by the end of Chenle’s short speech. All of them, including the cocky youngster at the front nodded rapidly in understanding. Jisung gave some new commands to pair up with a trainer as some of the more experienced knights, including Jaemin and Jeno arrived. Chenle immediately began to help out, demonstrating moves and tricks to the boy he was assigned to.

He didn’t notice or hear Taeyong lean over to Jaehyun and speak a quiet sentence which Jaehyun nodded in agreement with.

“Spoken like a true King.”

---

You had never been so relieved to have switched out your usual floaty dresses for a pair of trousers today. You and Chenle had headed down to one of the kingdom’s outlying villages for the day in order to help them rebuild it. When you had visited your father the day before, you’d asked for his permission and his words were still echoing in your head today.

“My dear, even if I didn’t give you permission you would be going down there anyway. And I know that because I know you, and I know what you’re willing to do. Now let me tell you, no one needs permission to care about someone else or to help them. This goes beyond being a good queen, this is being a good person.”

It was the last thing he said before you left the room. Your father had a habit of leaving you with words that stayed with you for a while. It was as if he had a goal of giving you a piece of wisdom every time you talked.

You reached for another plank of wood, passing it up to Chenle who grabbed it and began to move it into the right place on the roof. You had been working hard for a couple of hours and you were beginning to tire. Your muscles were aching, but you refused to stop, knowing how much this would help the people living in this village.

You reached down for another plank, your fingers grasping at empty air as you realised that was the final one. You shouted the news up at Chenle before moving to sit on a nearby grassy slope. Chenle climbed down from the ladder he was on and flopped down in a heap next to you.

“You’ve never been more graceful.” You commented sarcastically.

“Thank you.” He replied without missing a beat. “You know, you should wear trousers more often, they look good.”

“I doubt my mother would approve.” You laugh as Chenle chuckled too.

“You’re probably right.” He agreed, before lifting his hand and pointing towards the crops. “Also, we should do something about the fence.”

Your eyes followed his finger to see that the fence around one of the fields had caved in, falling over the crops and stunting their growth.

“Yes, definitely. We could also put up a boundary around some of the houses. Maybe give them extra protection or places to store weapons. We should also install some trap doors if we can to give them a place to hide crops so that, if bandits come again and there’s no one here to protect them, they don’t lose everything they have.”

“Good idea.” 

You and Chenle kept chatting, exchanging ideas and making plans of building that you would pitch to your parents. Chenle was just beginning the idea of training some of the young farm boys in basic combat when you suddenly put your hand on his chest, stopping him talking immediately. 

He looked at you in confusion until he heard what you were hearing. Galloping hooves, horses getting closer and closer with each passing second. You both scrambled for your weapons, prepared to defend these people from the bandits you assumed were approaching with everything you had, when a single horse rounded the corner and approached you.

You recognised the man sitting upon it as the royal messenger.

“You’re needed back at the castle, immediately.” The urgency in his voice made you move quickly, sheathing your sword and mounting Obsidian. Chenle followed your actions also managing to ask the exact question that you were too afraid too.

“Why? What’s this about?”

“The King.”

---

You galloped all the way back to the castle, not slowing down for a second. Chenle was close behind you, the messenger somewhere further back, his horse too tired from the journey to the village to keep up with your desperate pace. You couldn’t describe the panic you felt in your chest. It was driving every move you made, encouraging you to go even faster. You urged Obsidian on, your horse grunting as he poured even more speed into his legs. 

You heard Chenle do the same with Aspen, determined to keep up with you no matter what. You both approached the castle without losing speed, the guards at the gates running out of your way. You were forced to pull Obsidian to a slower pace as you made your way towards the castle doors. The stable hands rushed out to meet you and you jumped off and ran straight through the doors, ignoring everyone in your way.

By this point you didn’t know if Chenle was still behind you, and you didn’t have it in you to slow down and find out as you raced towards your parents quarters. You finally reached their room, threw open the doors and stared at the scene in front of you.

You barely heard Chenle’s footsteps as he arrived behind you, but you did feel his arms catching you as your knees gave out.

Your father was dead.

---

The funeral was the next day.

The night of his death, the citizens of your kingdom had stood in the courtyard of the palace and held candles, all of them wearing black out of respect. Your mother, Chenle and yourself went out to thank them and it took everything in you not to fall apart.

After thanking the people, you headed back inside. You went straight to your room, Chenle following you no matter how much you protested. Eventually you turned on him, demanding to know why he wouldn’t let you be. He took a step towards you, reaching up to move a small piece of hair out of your face before softly telling you.

“I don’t want you to feel alone.”

That was all it took to break you. You fell into his arms, crying about your father for the first time since you’d learnt of his death. Chenle had stayed with you the whole night, keeping you company and holding you close. He never let you go, not even for a moment.

The funeral was at night. It was a tradition of your kingdom for each living member of the royal family to say their private goodbyes to the deceased. This is for the people closest to them to say goodbye to his spirit. Chenle had gone first, then you and finally, your mother. Then, after the sun sets and the moon rises, you would come together with the people of your kingdom and say goodbye to his body.

You smoothed the non-existent wrinkles out of your dress, checking your hair one last time to make sure it was perfect. You caught the sight of Chenle in your mirror, watching you with a sad smile. He saw you return his smile with an attempt of one of your own and Chenle swore he felt his heart break slightly. Watching the woman he loved getting dressed for her fathers funeral was, to say the least, not a fun sight.

He offered a hand to you, and you shakily took it. You made to leave your room, but Chenle gently squeezed your hand and you paused, looking up at him. He didn’t say anything, yet somehow managed to have a whole conversation with you.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, feeling your heart rate calm slightly. Chenle intertwined your fingers, and you both headed out to the funeral.

You were standing on the river side, watching as the small boat your father’s body lay on was carried down. He was dressed in his best clothes, his arms resting on his chest, with his sword in his hands. His eyes were closed and he looked as though he was sleeping. Peace painted across his face for the first time in the many months since the battle. As heartbreakingly painful as losing your father was, there was comfort in knowing that he finally got the rest that he deserved.

The river was decorated with flowers, stray petals and floating candles. Citizens stood beside you, all of them holding a light weight lantern like your own. The soft yellow lights reflected off the river. You knew that your father would have loved how beautiful it all was. He had an eye for those kinds of things.

You moved down the river with the body, following it on it’s journey until the river began to spread out. The people fanned out, forming lines as they watched their king drift off into the distance. Your mother lifted her arms to the sky, showing off her lantern and shouted.

“From this life to his next life. May the king rest in peace.”

“May the king rest in peace.” You repeated, along with every other person present. Only you and Chenle were close enough to hear her whisper.

“Goodbye my love.” And with that she let go of her lantern, watching as it sailed off into the air.

All the people around you followed her example, releasing their floating lanterns into the sky. They spoke to them, saying something to their king before letting them fly.

You looked down at your own, trying to think of what your last words to your father should be. You bit your lip and leaned in closer to it and whispered quietly.

“Goodbye father, I love you.”

You let go.

---

You rolled over in your bed, unable to sleep. Ever since your father’s funeral you’d struggled with falling asleep, your mind too busy to let your body rest. You groaned, throwing the covers off you as you stared up at your ceiling.

Chenle had been keeping you company often, staying by your side, making sure you were alright, and it meant the world to you. You’d begun to find yourself missing him all the time he wasn’t with you, even if he’d just left your side a second ago.

You swung your legs off your bed, knowing you weren’t going to be getting any sleep here. The doors creaked slightly as you opened them, making you wince at the sound. You slipped out of them, shutting them behind you as you made your way through the castle.

You reached Chenle’s room quickly, knocking on the door lightly before going inside. His room was similar to yours in size, and you loved the odd decorations he had that had come with him from Shanghai. The red and gold tapestry that hung on the wall by the door was your personal favourite. You ran your fingers over it gently as you quietly called out for Chenle.

He didn’t reply so you moved further into his room. You turned and stopped when you saw where he was. His balcony. The door to it was shut so you caught his attention when you opened it to join him. He whispered a quiet hello to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he pulled you close.

You leant your head on his shoulder as you wrapped your arms around his bare torso and the two of you looked out over the scenery. From this position the two of you could see almost the entire lower town. There were odd yellow squares where you could tell someone’s light was on, but for the most part the town was shrouded in moonlight.

It almost looked too good to be true.

“Are you not cold?” You asked him as a breeze blew past the two of you, worried for you shirtless boyfriend.

“Not really, it gets colder than this in Shanghai, I guess I’m just used to it.” Chenle muttered, his eyes never leaving the scene in front of him. “Couldn’t sleep?” You shook your head sighing as he reassured you. “It’ll come, you just need some time. It’s hard, being in front of the people you have to be a ruler, you can’t show your emotion, especially not with how your mother is struggling. But things will get better. We’ll fix up the outlying villages, we’ll finish some of the tasks your father had hoped for and you’ll get closure. I promise.”

You nodded, feeling more relaxed already. Another breeze ripped through the two of you, causing Chenle to shiver.

“Okay, maybe now I’m cold.” He admitted, reaching behind him to open the door and bring you both back inside. You laughed as you followed him, happily embracing the warmth that his room provided.

You shut the door behind the two of you before following Chenle to his bed. He was already lying down in it, waiting for you with his arms open. You smiled at the sight of him, thinking how you could get used to seeing that. You climbed into his bed, setting down on his chest as he began to run his fingers through your hair.

You nestled your head into his neck, feeling him giggle when you placed feather light kisses on the skin there.  Your hand came up to rest on his chest, your fingers softly tracing the scar from his stab wound. You ran your finger down the healed injury, following every pattern as Chenle watched.

The scare wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small either. It was about 2 inches in length right in the place his shoulder meets his chest. You looked back up at him, another smile stretching across your face. Chenle’s spare hand came to rest on your shoulder, hugging you close to him and he pulled you in to kiss you.

You sighed into the kiss, feeling yourself tire for the first time that night. Chenle felt this too, quietly telling you to sleep when you both pulled away. You rested your head back in his neck before taking a deep breath. The only sign you were still awake was the small movements of your fingers lovingly tracing his scar.

Chenle shut his eyes as he kissed the top of your head, listening to your breathing even out. It was obvious you were close to falling asleep, just managing to whisper out a soft “I love you.” before you drifted off.

It wasn’t the first time you had said it, but no matter how many times Chenle heard it, the warm feeling that blossomed in his chest had never faltered. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, from being reminded just how completely in love with you he was. And he knew that you were the one he wanted to be with.

“I love you too.” Chenle replied. “More than you’ll ever know.”

Chenle had lost track of how many times he’d thanked fate for bringing him here. For your kingdom to choose his to make an alliance with. For being the one chosen to marry you. Chenle had known for his entire time here that he would marry you, but he had never been so grateful for it as he was in this moment.

---

Within the month since the king’s death, the kingdom was back to normal. You’d buried yourself in your work, taking on more responsibilities to help your mother, finding comfort in finishing the projects your father had started and supported. Chenle had been right, you’d found closure in finishing his work, in making sure that his wishes were fulfilled, and you were finding yourself moving on. 

You still missed him everyday, and you found it difficult at times to finish the work he’d started, knowing how much he would have wanted to see it. But, you were finally looking towards the future, and you knew that he would be relieved at that. He always told you “A good queen ignores the tough times and puts on a happy face for her people. But a true queen, acknowledges when times are hard, and encourages the kingdom to work through it together.” And those were the words you lived by.

You and Chenle had become loved public figures with the whole kingdom being thrilled with the strength of your relationship. It was a sign of hope, of solidarity, of new life in a time where they had been surrounded by loss.

Chenle strolled through the marketplace, his heart beating hard as he turned the gift he had just bought you over in his hands. It wasn’t, by any means, his first time buying you a gift, but he knew that this would be the most important gift he would ever buy.

He quickly made his way back to his room, Jisung waiting for him outside it when he finally arrived. Chenle ignored his friend’s questions, bringing him inside instead.

“You’re late.” Jisung said when Chenle let him speak.

“Yeah, I know, sorry.” Chenle apologised without really meaning it. His nerves were showing through his voice and it was confusing Jisung as to what gift the boy had bought. “I had to visit the royal jeweller to pick this up.”

“What is it?” Jisung asked, leaning over as if he could see into Chenle’s hands.

“It’s just a small gift for y/n.” 

“Yes but what is it?” Jisung asked again exasperated, rolling his eyes at his friend’s density.

“This.” Chenle opened the box the gift was in, Jisung’s jaw dropping at the sight of it. His eyes shot from the jewellery back up to Chenle and back down to the jewellery again as he managed to form a single sentence through his shock.

“That’s an engagement ring.”

---

You were sitting on the cliff overlooking the citadel, your favourite place in the kingdom. Chenle was next to you, the two of you sitting in comfortable silence as you watched the bustle of life in your kingdom below you.

“Do you ever get nervous as to how things will change once we’re crowned?” You asked suddenly, the question hanging dangerously heavily in the air.

Chenle turned to look at you, taking a second to think before he answered, the honesty clear in his voice.

“Yes.” You blinked at his response, almost expecting him to say that he wasn’t worried and everything would be fine. “I get scared about how much more pressure will be on us, especially since we’ll have closer links to Shanghai and we’ll have responsibilities there as well as here. I get worried that we won’t have as much free time, meaning we won’t get days like this anymore when it can just be the two of us. I’m scared to live up to your parents, they’re incredible people and rulers and they set such an example that going after then is kind of nerve wracking. But at the same time, I’m not scared. I’m not scared in the slightest, because I know that, through this all, I’m going to have you by my side no matter what. And if I’ve got you, then I think I can do anything.”

You moved closer to him, curling up into his side and hugging him close, the feeling of his heartbeat giving you an unmatchable comfort.

“You’re very good at those speeches you know?” You mumbled, feeling his chest shake as he chuckled.

“It comes with the job.” He joked, bringing an arm up and squeezing your shoulder. 

He leant down and placed a soft kiss on your forehead, sighing into your hair before pulling away.

“We have to get back soon.” You mumbled, him groaning in response.

“Why?” He whined and you laughed in disbelief.

“I don’t know? Maybe because we’re the heirs to the throne and our presence in our kingdom is kind of necessary?” You replied sarcastically and Chenle grabbed you tighter, falling back onto the grass so that you were basically lying on top of him.

“What if we weren’t though?” He suggested, holding up a finger as he saw the look on your face. “Just imagine it for a second, me and you, a simple farming couple. Just us, our fields, our horses and peace. No council meetings, no documents to read, no speeches, no wars, nothing but peace, tranquility and us. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“That... that really would be actually...” You said quietly, picturing the life he imagined. “The simple life, just the two of us-”

“Working in the fields during the days.” 

“And cooking together at night.” You and Chenle got into a rhythm of finishing each other’s sentences, being so in tune with each other and the life you were imagining.

“Having competitions as to who can bring in the most harvest in one go.”

“Rebuilding local houses in our village.”

“Slow dancing in our kitchen late at night.”

“Waking up as the sun rises.”

“With four kids to help us out.”

“Two!”

“Three? One boy and two girls.”

“Deal.”

“And we’d get married with them all there, everyone who matters most to us, surrounded in our little paradise.”

You smiled at the sky, listening to Chenle talk about your future.

“Maybe in one life-”

“Just not this one.” He finished as you shook your head.

“Unfortunately not.” You climbed up, Chenle following as the two of you prepared to make your journey back to the castle. Chenle lifted up the final bag, placing it on Aspen as you took one last look at the view. When attaching it to his saddle, the small box, which contained the gift he’d bought earlier fell out. He quickly picked it up, his heart quickening with nerves as he turned back towards you listening to your words. “We can’t have anything from that.”

“We could have something.” He suggested as you turned around, a confused smile on your face. “I can’t give you a farm, or anything like the simple life we pictured, but I can make you happy. And I’d really love to be able to do that for a very long time.” He brought the gift in front of him, dropping to one knee and opening it.

Your jaw dropped in shock, your hands instinctively coming up to cover your mouth as tears pricked your eyes. You couldn’t believe what was happening, saying it was unexpected was an understatement. You stared at the boy you loved with all your heart as he asked the single most important question you had ever been asked in your life.

“Will you marry me?”

[cyberloops]

Some quick studio updates:

My spouse was having a hard time at their new job, so when my boss mentioned that he was looking for another person to do the same sort of tech helpdesk work that I was doing, my spouse decided to go for the opportunity. On the one hand, it means less stress. On the other hand... less money. Our income is going to be cut by about 1/3. So we really need to find some way to work from home to earn money to make up for that. So this week, while my spouse had a few days off before the new job starts, we buckled down and worked on getting our home office/studio situation set up in a way that will work for us.

Originally we had planned on keeping all the computers in the office (not the room in the picture here) and dividing the studio (the room in this picture) into halves. The half now taken up by the giant desk on the left would be where I’d set up my studio, the area where the other 2 desks are would be a workbench for crafting type stuff, and the drafting table would be where it is. But between the plague causing us to switch jobs and work from home and everything else that’s happened... well... plans change. We couldn’t both work from home in the office, so my spouse had to get a desk and set it up in the studio. And the little corner desk my spouse had gotten for the office way far too small for all of the paperwork that their new job entailed. So we had to get the giant desk.

Since we’d like to get back into the habit of streaming, we decided that we needed to once again change the plans we had for our studio. But with less income, that meant no more buying furniture. We need to work with what we have. So the giant desk that takes up half the room will stay, and will become the graphics powerhouse of the studio, with my spouse’s new computer in the middle, a big monitor on the left, and the graphics tablet monitor on the right. Unfortunately the USB C port is on the left side of the computer and the right side of the graphics tablet... which means we need a longer USB C to USB C cable if we want to use all three monitors. (We can use an HDMI cable instead, but then we wouldn’t be able to use the other big monitor.)

I moved the smaller corner desk from the office into the space between my studio and my spouse’s, and got rid of the little wooden table that was kind of in my way on the right side of my studio. Now we have an entire wall of nothing but desk. The drafting table is still just out of camera view on the right, so my spouse still has a space for traditional drawing.

You can also see in this picture that I was able to finally rig up a top down view of my studio, the camcorder is attached to a little microphone handle instead of a stand. The little handle came with a different mic, the one that I’ve currently got hooked up to my desktop computer in the office. I’m using a boom mic stand that I had packed away that was a birthday present to me like fifteen years ago. (I’m glad it’s finally getting decent use, I used to have it set up next to my old Windows XP desktop computer that had an M-Audio 10/10 soundcard that had XLR inputs so I could actually record a microphone directly into the computer. But that desktop died about 9 years ago, and I haven’t used that stand since then. I don’t even think they have drivers for the 10/10 for modern versions of Windows anymore.) Ironically, the microphone that came with the boom mic stand is in a little tripod that came with a DIFFERENT mic that crapped out on me and I’m not using anymore, it’s somewhere on that desk studio setup. I don’t know if it’s in camera view, it’s not currently plugged into the mixer, but it’s there if I want to record any vocals. However, that setup means that the camera is also about six feet away from where the computer will be... which means we need a longer USB A to Micro USB cable if I want to stream.

... and after moving all that furniture, getting sweaty and gross, and stressing out my bad knees... I didn’t wanna go to Best Buy to get cables. So we ordered them online, and maybe once we’ve gotten them, we’ll be able to get back to streaming again.

Also, since my spouse got a new, better computer, I’m going to see if their old computer is powerful enough to do basic streaming with just my sound and video setup. It’s (I think) about 9 years old, just like my laptop... but mine was bottom of the line at the time of purchase, and this one was midrange. They have the same amount of RAM and hard drive space, but my spouse’s old computer has about 3 or 4 times the processing power of my dinky little old laptop. So maybe it can handle it. We’ll find out once I get that new cable. If not, well, we’ll see what I can do. Now that we’re past the first few weeks of classes, my job is slowing down a bit, so I’ll have a little more free time and energy. I’d really like to spend some time working on more fun, creative stuff. I suppose I could just say screw it and move my desktop into that room, that’s definitely powerful enough to stream. And if I don’t feel like doing music, I can work on 3d modeling/sculpting instead. Or, hell, I could even go back to doing game streaming when we’re not streaming art or music.

I would love to also get a better chair. Unfortunately, all of the comfortable chairs we have right now are too wide to work with that setup, unless I can figure out a way to move my keyboards to the right side of my studio instead of the left. Which honestly, I could probably do if I just got some longer cables. I went cheap and just got 3 and 4 foot audio and MIDI cables when I first set up the studio, since I was jammed in the corner there. So maybe my last investment in the studio will be to buy a couple of longer audio and MIDI cables just for those two synths.

... and after all that, months and months of setup, investing my pandemic bonus money into setting up the whole studio... I still am finding myself kinda obsessing over the fact that the ONE kind of synth I wanted and still don’t have is one that can do more than 2 operator FM synthesis. I was really debating between the Modal Skulpt or the Korg Volca FM at the time, and the Skulpt only won out for me because it had 4 note polyphony, and I like complex chords. But with our sudden cut in income, I really can’t justify buying another synth anytime soon. So I really should buckle down and work with what I have.

[dweetwise]

dbd retrospection: bhvr’s negligence and our spending habits

i’m making this post following the talk of a dbd boycott and the (justified) outcry in regards to bhvr’s continuing subpar treatment of the game and its community.

it’s going to be a lot different than my usual content, and if you don’t want the negativity right now and just want to keep enjoying the game, it’s completely ok for you to ignore this post!

the problem

over the years i’ve been playing dbd, it’s always had a lot of jank and bugs—some of which were even said to add to dbd’s charm. funny flying survivors and falling through the map glitches aside, the last 6 months have made it abundantly clear that the bugs and myriad of performance issues have only gotten worse.

bhvr is no longer a small indie studio and you’d think that the more experience the devs got, the less issues would make it through to the live version of the game, right? wrong.

bhvr struck gold with dbd and they’re taking full advantage of the cash coming in while putting in minimal effort. from the way they handle things, i’m pretty sure their business model is as follows:

attract new customers with dlc every 3 months (doubly so with licenses)

sell as many dlc:s, skins and rift passes to those customers as possible

ignore all complaints when those players get tired of the game and focus on getting new customers in their stead.

new players are more valuable because they spend more money. they’ll buy not only the base game and newest dlc that attracted them in the first place, but they’re also the sole demand for old dlcs. who else buys the halloween dlc in 2021, if not new players wanting to play as horror icon michael myers or get access to the only perk that prevents them being tunneled as survivor?

think of all the times bhvr has ignored the community’s complaints: hud, spirit, keys, legendary skins and so on. not to mention the issues they take months or even years to fix: iri head, haddonfield, blight pov, old ds, infinites and moris to name a few. it screams loud and clear that they don’t care; and why would they? the opinions of existing players don’t matter, when new ones will flock in to replace them anyway.

i’m almost convinced the devs have the competence—they’re just lazy. when the almo controversy happened, it took less than 24 hours for the colorblind mode to be announced. either they were able to code it in from scratch that quick and just didn’t want to, or they’d been working on it as an (inexcusably) low priority feature before, having it nearly ready but just couldn’t be bothered to push it out before it directly affected them—to be honest, i don’t know which option is worse.

sometimes, their business practices are outright predatory, like the recent resident evil locked sets and the original mettle of man. this time, the outrage was enough to get the affected players a refund, but we’ve forgotten every other instance where that was not the case. and the refund still doesn’t solve the problem; if anyone wants those leon and jill outfits, they’re still paying nearly $4 for an identical haircut—which brings me to the next issue.

skins

i could write an essay on dbd skins alone. in a nutshell, they’re overpriced af and the issue gets completely ignored because they’re an optional purchase.

remember skin rarity? where the quality of the skin was supposed to reflect the rarity, and therefore the price? then let me ask you; when was the last time we got anything less than a very rare (=full price) outfit after a character’s initial release? well, let me answer that for you: july 31st 2018, with ace’s lovable rogue, meg’s athletic active, and dwight’s wine n’ dine collections.

and, sure, you could argue that the cosmetic team has only gotten more skilled since then, with a few skins standing out as having an incredible amount of detail and completely changing the character’s appearance. but that’s not the case with the majority of the skins. how does ace vegas or cowboy jake have the same price tag as apocalypse jeff or harajuku nea?

and don’t even get me started on auric cell only skins. even when skins were cheaper and came in several color variants, bhvr has had a nasty habit of locking the best skins in a collection behind a paywall. never mind the fact that it takes nearly 100 hours of time spent in actual matches to even get 21 600 shards to buy one skin, very rare skins are priced at over two times the price of one entire character and their perks.

one very rare skin costs:

50 % of the base game

216 % of one character through the in-game store (auric cells)

240 % of one character through the in-game store (iridescent shards)

250 % of one character when buying a chapter (2-3 characters)

476 % of one character when buying a chapter on sale.

it’s no secret that the majority of the sales from existing players come from skins. let’s assume that over a period of three months, a player with moderate spending habits buys the new dlc chapter, the rift pass and one skin for their favorite character. in that scenario, actual new content (the new chapter) only accounts for 28 % of the money spent. is it any wonder, then, that new chapters are riddled with bugs and issues, if the majority of the $$$ comes purely from cosmetics?

there’s also the issue that fog whisperers only exist to sell skins and promo dlc:s, but i don’t want to open that can of worms. the fact that they get free codes for the newest skins speaks for itself.

the rift pass and fomo

you didn’t think i’d skip this one, did you? no matter how much “value” you get from the pass compared to buying skins from the store, it’s still a blatant cash grab that’s essentially making us pay for playing the game.

“but you get your money back!” hey, if you see paying $10 to grind for bad recolors and filler charms as a worthwhile investment, good for you. no matter if you religiously play dbd enough to complete every rift, you still have to fork over that $10 the first time. bhvr has advertised a 25 million playerbase across all platforms, and even if only 5 % of those players have bought the pass once, that’s still a hefty income just for the rift—not to mention the fact that most people don’t get anywhere near tier 70 and end up with a net loss.

it’s a genius marketing move that preys on people’s fomo. by including exclusive charms and recolors that you can’t get anywhere else (cries in ace’s card shirt) and placing the best items at the very end, even light spenders are tempted to buy the pass or at the very least grind the free track. and once you’ve bought the pass, you feel obligated to play as much as possible to get your money’s worth—and the more you play, the more likely you are to buy new characters or skins from the store.

what can you do?

after all this negativity and complaining, it sounds like i think we should just stop playing the game and never pay for anything, huh? not at all.

i think what everyone can and should do, is reflect on their own spending habits when it comes to dbd.

do you buy the newest chapters as soon as they release, even if you know bhvr’s track record of recent dlc:s?

do you hate the way cosmetics are handled and the multiple fiascos regarding legendary sets, but still buy several different skins for your favorite characters?

do you buy the rift pass because oh god it has ace charms that i won’t be able to get anywhere else and i need them for all my characters—you get the point.

we can whine and bitch all we want, but as long as bhvr continues to make money even off of disappointed and angry customers, nothing will change. i’ve heard friends proclaim they hate the game and that bhvr’s actions are inexcusable, yet they, like me, continue to buy into the hype of new content or cosmetics masked as content.

what i’ll do from now on and i hope you’ll also consider:

hold off on buying new chapters until at least the worst of the bugs are fixed. if initial sales drop even after all the hype bhvr always tries to create, they might finally be forced to take action.

alternatively, buy new characters with shards. if you mostly play one side like me, 9000 shards is well worth an original character. it also lowers the sales of a chapter release, which hurts bhvr.

think long and hard about buying the rift pass. is there only one skin you really, really want? then the grind and price isn’t worth it, as rift exclusives get priced as rares when eventually released the store: aka 675 cells instead of the 1000 of the pass.

save up shards to buy skins. yes, i just said they’re overpriced, but if you buy the sets piece by piece the grind isn’t unbearable. and usually by the point you’d have enough, you might realize there’s only one part of the outfit that you actually want, or a better skin has been announced. saving your money and hurting bhvr; win-win.

ok whew, i think i’m done! thank you for reading my little rant. if you have any thoughts feel free to yell in the tags or replies, and remember that it’s completely ok if you enjoy the game as it is and want to keep doing so! you’re not forced to boycott anything or feel guilty about spending money. the game brings or has brought all of us a lot of joy and we’re free to enjoy it however we want <3

in a nutshell, i love the game despite its flaws, i only wish bhvr treated it (and the community) with the care it deserves.

p.s. my regular content will resume tomorrow <3

[expectedbehavior]

I was raised by someone who grew up poor (4 kids in rural Louisiana with homemade clothes levels of poor) and who kept that mindset even after they were no longer financially insecure. It heavily influenced how I conceptualize money and purchases, even tho I am also financially secure. (Yes, even despite my objectively ridiculous “collect all the shit” hobbies lol)

INTELLECTUALLY I know that I can afford to purchase things at prices that seem extravagant to my mind. But I can’t get rid of the feeling that I SHOULDN’T do that, because of many interconnecting associations from my childhood — and also due to How Life Be (TM) in the US.

What if The Thing isn’t really worth that amount? (It probably isn’t but how will I know that until I have it?)

Maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough to find it at a better price. (I mean, maybe, but how long do you “look hard enough” before saying “nope this is it.”?)

What if I get in a medical situation after buying it and now I’m in medical debt up to my ears but if I hadn’t bought The Thing I could have avoided it? (Jesus, I hate private healthcare…)

In the end my mind always runs in circles and I end up settling for something cheaper or I hunt for “bargains” secondhand. But sometimes I wish I could get my brain to understand that buying something used for $100 that looked great but probably has hidden issues and needs copious amounts of work is not necessarily “better” than just buying the thing I need new IF I CAN AFFORD TO DO SO.

I 100% recognize that 1) this is completely a First World Problem, 2) something that is not life threatening in any way, and 3) probably going to make people say I’m a whiny privileged kid and to stfu. I am not writing this post to flaunt things. I am writing it to try and force myself to internalize these thoughts that IT’S OK TO BUY THE THINGS I NEED/WANT EVEN IF THEY ARE “EXPENSIVE”. If I can afford to buy the thing at the price it’s listed at, then I should! I don’t HAVE to find a “better deal”, I don’t HAVE to buy secondhand, I don’t HAVE to justify the price. If I need a cabinet I don’t HAVE to go find a $50 one on Craigslist, I can go into a store or buy one online from a retailer. Right?

It’s just that this is how my concept of money and finances and what is “allowed” has worked my entire life. It started with my mother and the fact that literally every piece of clothing I owned was from the clearance rack. Purchasing a shirt at full price? HAH fuck no, go look at the sale rack.

It’s why I feel guilty when I buy a poster or a Hot Toys figure or something completely frivolous EVEN WHEN I HAVE BUDGETED FOR IT because I know they’re expensive, and my brain tells me I am not allowed to buy things that 1) aren’t necessities and 2) aren’t on “sale” or cheap. It doesn’t stop me from spending money on limited edition things — because I know they won’t come around again. But it does stop me from buying expensive yet “common” items like furniture, house items, other necessities like that. It’s why I think of everything I own in bartering terms: how many posters will I need to sell to buy that bookshelf, how many vinyl albums is that couch worth, I just need to sell 2 more things at $X amount to buy the lamp I wanted… 99% of the time I don’t NEED to sell anything to buy the damn lamp, but that’s not how my mind frames it.

I didn’t grow up financially insecure but I was raised as if I was in many ways, and I don’t know to break out of that mindset. Anyone else here know what I’m talking about?