#i am running away from my problems maybe
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
if u hear faint screams in the distance pls ignore its just me losing my shit. okay thanks
#such insane dilemmas man has never had to face before#do i stay in my nice uni town with 1.5 friends#a bad reputation with my tutors (i dont go to class. or hand in assignments for that matter)#and 1 boy who i kinda like sorta#or give it up and move somewhere else to do a degree i like and start an actual career. hm#NOW IVE WRITTEN IT OUT THE ANSWER SEEMS KINDA OBVIOUS#idkkkkkkkk. AH#also if i leave wales imma have to rethink my transition plan so. theres that horrible prospect#theres one other uni i wouldnt mind in wales and tbh#... its not as good as the english ones im looking at#not for my course#and has a bunch of other shit things about it#so. really fun dilemma i have guys! really splendid!#ofc i could stay put and figure it out.#oh#ohhhh.#okay so i realise now#i am running away from my problems maybe#hm#bit of both#my problems are real#but also#might become realer if i leave#overall? the answer i think is enjoy this semester as much as poss#lock in on the academic grindset#make friends#go to socials#AVOID MY EVIL BASTARD SORT OF HOT BUT TOTALLY EVIL SENT TO ORCHESTRATE MY DOWNFALL EVIL BITCHASS NEIGHBOUR#jork it more#oh shit im running out of tags. erm. okay
0 notes
Text
Peace of Mind
There was something incredibly soothing about the daily business of the Silver Bazaar.
The same familiar friendly faces, simple mundane tasks he could help with, no unforseeable occurrences disturbing the peace. A’viloh loved this place and it’s people from the bottom of his heart. They had taken him in the way he was, like he had always been one of them, and he knew they would always welcome him back with open arms. And this was exactly what the townsfolk and Kikipu had done when he had appeared not only without announcement but also visibly shaken at that.
A’viloh had pretty much fled Ishgard. Hadn’t even bothered to return to his room at the inn. There was nothing there that belonged to him. The few things he possessed and wasn’t carrying with him still were at the room in Fortemps Manor and he certainly wouldn’t return there ever again. As late as it was he had gone straight to the place where the Haillenartes had accommodated Cid and his team for the time he spent working at the Skysteel Manufactury.
“A’viloh?”, the man had asked with a yawn, visibly torn from his sleep, as he opened the door.
“You have to take me to Ul’dah.”, the Miqo’te had demanded without any word of greeting, much to Cid’s confusion. Of course he had tried to question him but A’viloh hadn’t let him and in the end he had agreed to have Biggs and Wedge fly him to his destination early the next morning.
The few hours it took for the sun to rise he had spent at the chocobo stables. Yugiri had taught him enough so he was able to sneak in there unseen and so he spent the night cuddled close to the soft warm plumage of the black chocobo Haurchefant had gifted him, silently crying about how lost and alone he suddenly felt. The bird had made a low, almost purring, sound and nuzzled his head with her beak until A’viloh wrapped his arms around her long neck and buried his face in her dark feathers.
The airship departed as the sun rose and after wondering for a bit wether or not he should, he decided to take Chloé with him. The chocobo was rightfully his, so the caretaker at the stable did not protest, and yet it somehow felt like theft to A’viloh. But the bird seemed quite attached to him and for the Miqo’te she was a welcome companion now that he traveled alone again. He had left his other chocobo at the stables in Ul’dah on the day of the banquet and there he still was right now, as Pipin had assured him. A’viloh hoped that the two of them would get along well and also that they might be useful to help with tasks at the Bazaar.
The flight had been uneventful and quite fast for the distance. It wasn’t even noon, when he thanked Biggs and Wedge, who planned to stock up on a few materials before flying back, and said his farewell to them. Then A’viloh got his second chocobo from the stables of the Immortal Flames and soon was out of the buzzling city and only a short distance away from the next best thing he still had to a home.
As he slowly rode towards the small settlement he felt such a strong feeling of familiarity that it made tears appear in the corners of his eyes again. He had not noticed how tensed up he had been until now all the pressure fell off of his shoulders at once.
At first all the people curiously eyed the two tall chocobos before they quickly realised who traveled with them. As a few of them stopped in their tracks to greet him, the news of his arrival spread like a wildfire among the townsfolk. No one had expected him and his sudden appearance was like a special happening for this quiet small village. It only took a few minutes until an excited voice hurried closer and made A’viloh instinctively turn his head.
“A’viloh? Oh, it’s so nice to see you!”, the lavender haired Lalafell exclaimed as she ran towards him. Blinking away tears A’viloh knelt down to greet the woman with a smile on his face and a tight embrace. “Kikipu, I’ve missed you so much.”
Happily she smiled at him before observing the two chocobo’s and looking around for a bit. “Are you on your own this time? Where is Rael?”
A’viloh’s expression visibly soured. Like a sulky small child he claimed, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”
For a few seconds the Lalafell quizzically stared at him. While it would have been just like her to scold him for such behaviour right away or at least pry the truth out of him, she must have decided to take a more careful approach to figure out what was wrong with him. Such a sudden visit, all things considered, and at that alone and despite his best efforts to hide it in a quite desolate shape, he should have expected for Kikipu to see through it all.
“You look horrible, my boy!”, she stated instead of insisting on the subject of Rael any longer and worriedly grabbed one of his hands with her tiny ones.
“I am fine.”, A’viloh tried to assure her but she simply made an incredulous face. “You look tired, A’vi!”
He shrugged. “I am…”
“Outright exhausted!”, she added. “Have you been eating properly. Come! I’m going to make you some food.”
“I am not hungry, but thank you.”, he claimed although he had barely eaten anything since days.
“No, no!”, Kikipu protested and pulled at his arm. “Come on! Tea and food for you! And then some rest! There’s still plenty of time for talking once you recovered!”
There was no arguing against her. There really never was. And so in a way everything was just like it always had been here at the Silver Bazaar. If there was any place where he would be able to find peace, A’viloh thought, it would be here.
Without too much protest he let the Lalafell woman coddle him for a bit until the accumulated tiredness of the last week overwhelmed him. As his eyes fell shut, after drinking tea with Kikipu in a comfortable sunny spot, a deep dreamless sleep finally embraced him.
***
To A’viloh’s surprise the first few days at the Bazaar were incredibly busy. Everyone wanted to hear from the faraway city he had visited and the other curious places he had seen. A lot of the townsfolk also asked for his help with some work or transporting thing back and forth to and from the crossing or city. He had been grateful for the fact that he could help at all and also keep himself busy.
All this time he had tried not to think too much about everything unpleasant that had happened lately and especially not about the way he and Rael had parted ways. And for a while this had worked perfectly fine. But the more time he spent here and the more he settled back down into this peaceful daily life, just as a certain calmness slowly returned to him his thoughts began to wander. Back to the events of the last weeks and months. Back to the people he had simply left behind in Ishgard. Not only Rael, but also Tataru and Alphinaud to whom he hadn’t even given a single word of excuse or goodbye.
But especially his thought returned back to that night where he had stood only one step away from the abyss, his heart and mind overwhelmed by grief and pain and fear. He still felt all of that, still understood what had led him there to that ledge and yet thinking about how all of this could have ended, now that he was here among the people dear to him, deeply shocked him.
If Rael hadn’t been there… Maybe the Viera had been right with everything they had said. As painful as it was to admit this, but maybe he had lied to himself all along. Of course he had gotten a little bit stronger in the last year but apart from this he still was the same person. Although he had tried to become someone else, deep down he still was just terrified little A’viloh pretending to be alright. Pretending to be brave and pretending to want a new life for himself. Pretending to everybody and himself too.
While in reality he still hadn’t made his peace with everything that had happened before he had even washed ashore at the Silver Bazaar, he had gone to Ul’dah wanting to make up for all the pain he had caused. Wanting to finally return some of the goodness that had been given to him by Kikipu and the others. Wanting to help people, who needed help like he had needed it.
As he had tried so desperately to be something more than he had always been, to finally be useful, ignoring the protest inside him, he had not even noticed how he slowly accumulated even more weight on his shoulders. More pain and grieve. More guilt and self-hate. With every little failure and loss he had encountered along the way. Instead of healing he had pushed himself closer to the abyss step by step.
Maybe it was the best, for himself and for everyone, if he just admitted that he was not made for such a life. Maybe it was for the best if he just stayed here, taking some simple jobs here and there, not much more than was necessary to keep himself and the people here alive and happy. A quiet uneventful life.
And yet…
With each passing day, he found himself wondering more often. Not in the busy hours but instead in the silent moments. When he sat down at noon to have lunch in the shadow of a canvas awning, when he went to bed and could not sleep until late at night, when he opened the windows early in the morning and felt the salty wind rolling in from the sea pulling at his hair.
Then he wondered. About all the unfinished business. A whole city in turmoil. All the people he had left behind there.
Diligent, caring Tataru, who had always remained optimistic and cheerful despite everything.
Young Alphinaud, who himself was struggling and yet tried so hard to improve and make up for his mistakes.
Rael.
A’viloh was not sure anymore if he knew who Rael was or if he ever had known. But he knew Rael had always been at his side this whole time. Whenever he had felt bad Rael had been there for him and he also knew he owed the viera his life multiple times already. So did it really matter that Rael had kept this secret from him? He had known all along that something was bothering Rael. He had known that here were things they could not talk about. An he also knew that this hadn’t been easy for Rael either.
Again and again he wondered. What were all of them doing now? What were they thinking of him? And more often than every other question: Were they alright? Or maybe in danger?
Silently he kept asking himself this over and over again. One day, after he had picked up a delivery at the Quicksand, he even wondered if he should walk over to the Hall of Flames and see if anyone there knew about current happenings in Ishgard. As his chocobo kwehed impatiently, A’viloh had vehemently shaken his head and told himself that Kikipu was waiting for him and that everything in Ishgard would be perfectly fine now that he was no longer there to make everything worse.
And still the thoughts and worries returned day after day. Until one morning he stared out of the window with a vacant expression, entirely lost in thought. Kikipu stepped beside him, a mug in hand, and looked at him for a moment. “What‘s wrong?”, she finally asked.
Her voice startled him. Nervously he continued to put some things into a small backpack, readying himself for another trip to the city. ”Nothing. I was just distracted for a moment…”
“I see.”, with a stern expression the Lalafell put down the mug and placed her hands at her hips. “And will you finally tell me now what you are doing here?”
“What I am doing here?”, the Miqo’te repeated as if he didn’t understand the question. “I am supposed to take these things to Ul’dah of course and buy supplies instead.”
The small lavender-haired woman didn’t move one bit and just kept seriously staring at him. “Don’t play dumb with me, A’vi. I meant why you returned here and are staying so long, while your friends are still in Ishgard.”
“I told you I am not needed in Ishgard any longer. You almost sound like you want me gone…”, he answered, keeping his gaze fixed on his bag instead of risking to look the Lalafell in the eyes.
“A’viloh…”, Kikipu said with a sigh. “My dear, you know that you are always welcome here. But we also both know, that you haven’t been telling me the whole truth. So you better spit it out now!”
With furrowed brows A’viloh looked at the small woman, who in return stared at him with a serious unwavering determination on her face. Yes, there really was no arguing against Kikipu. Yet alone lying to her.
“Something horrible happened.”, he admitted finally before adding, “And I fought with Rael.”
To be honest he was not even sure if this were the right words to describe what had happened. Probably not. And yet it felt like it.
“Oh no… Why didn’t you tell me ealier?”, Kikipu asked with worry in her voice.
“I didn’t want to bother you…”, A’viloh explained and while this wasn’t a lie, in reality he had just not wanted to tell her the whole truth. He still didn’t want to. How where you supposed to tell anyone you loved that you almost threw yourself off a cliff anyway? Neither did it feel right to him to just retell the secret Rael had kept so carefully, even though by doing so they had lied to him.
The Lalafell sounded and looked a bit reproachful, when she addressed him again. “You are never bothering me. Please, sit down and tell me what happened.”
A’viloh shrugged uncomfortably and suddely pretended to be in ahurry. “Maybe later, I should really go now…“
But Kikipu wasn’t going to let him evade her this easily. „Uh-uh, the delivery can wait! Now, stop running away and tell me what’s wrong.“
Stop running away.
Somehow the way she said that reminded him of Rael. Running away… Was this really what he was doing?
With a sigh A‘viloh put down his bag again.
Maybe he could tell her at least a bit. Maybe it would help somehow…
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy xiv#final fantasy 14#ffxiv screenshots#ff14 screenshots#gpose#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv writing#Aviloh Tia#Kikipu Kipu#If I had tried to enumerate all the times A'vi tried to hide or run away from his problems this chapter would have been twice as long XD#Was this chapter really necessary? maybe not but I like writing about A'vi at the Silver Bazaar!#But maybe he also needed this little detour and distance to proberly think about stuff...#We are moving closer to main-HW ending... I dont know how many chapters this will still be...#I really want to get up to date with my game progess#I am so slow at playing but even sloooower at writing XD#I should probably just skip a lot of msq stuff again or just write small snippets#I can always go back later and flesh stuff out...#But there are still some things for Stormblood I havent made up my mind about yet...hmmmm...#well HW patches first anyway! Theres still a LOT of important stuff happening there...
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
classic scenario i fear
#turning this post into being about eva bc i finally started that but#the conversation shinji has w misato before he runs away just hit a liiiiittle too hard#where he's like yeah if i don't do better i'll die but it doesn't matter bc i Can't do better anyway#so whatever. but i will Say im gonna do better Sorta to get this authority figure off my back#while still making it very clear tonally that i am doing horribly and that i don't expect them to care about that#in a like. 'we're stuck w each other + your need me to do it but im Not gonna be happy about it or good at it' way#i have had. Many many conversations like that#idk why everybody hates him he's just like me fr. viewing himself as completely lacking in agency to cope with#the incomplete but very much present powerlessness he experiences. 👍#(as far as i can tell. again im like 6 episodes in)#whatever anyway im thinking about it and (like always) the breadsword g.urren lagann video essay#and the problems with being a shinji kinnie so to speak. very fun watching this and realizing that about myself#and not Getting Mad. truly i have learned nothing#looking forward to rewatching that after eva though. feel like that'll add to it bc so much of that is a comparison to ttg.l yknow?#anyway#maybe i will get mad someday. i hope so#also i 100% recommend that essay it's one of the best ive ever seen. fucking peak from a peak creator
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
still feeling bad even after food and a couple hours of sleep. how mean
#one of these days the yearning for an understanding person to come home to at the end of a day will end me#until then i will probably have to complain about my stupid suffering#why must humans be a social species and why must i crave things i cannot have lol#why must i be stuck living with people i cannot ever trust again. want to be around people i like and who i can be vulnerable with#tbh if i still was as whiny in real life as i am on here most days i'd only get to hear 'shut up' and 'tough luck. man up'#and that is Not It. would only make me feel worse. so i keep quiet and keep to myself#which does not solve my original problem at all#maybe one day. maybe one day i can just be a beloved pet that doesn't get scolded or belittled for seeking comfort#that one thing my parents said to me 15 years ago still haunts me#'only people who deserve it get hugs' which was used to deny me comfort/affection. because apparently i am not worthy/deserving 👍#i was 13 going through the most vile shit at school but bc it affected me negatively and my parents didn't like me at my mentally illest#they just straight up denied me any type of comfort or support. took away my belongings. made me stay in my room for months on end#as corrective punishment. but none of it made me better. just made me worse. idk idk idk#all the shit they put me through. the emotional and physical punishments. the beatings borne from frustration#and still some part of me wants to seek comfort from them. BUT I SHOULDN'T. they broke my trust and my heart and soul so many times#it'd be straight up suicide to open up and be vulnerable with them again... lole running chest first into a wall of knives. no.#sorry. really in it tonight. gonna try to be more normal tomorrow
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post
Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight
#okay so i was CONSIDERING the vent zine#and then um something and then i was like “yeah no i cant rest until i get this out”#so i sat down and made this vent zine that's gonna embarrass me next year lmao#am i okay? ... actually I'm trying to be okay now#I'm just questioning something about someone#sorry to keep referring back to That Thing it's just been on my mind a lot#even before that vent post for a while now i was wondering if everything really was okay. if it was making me okay.#because i dont want to be selfish and abandon someone when they need me. I've been abandoned before.#but it's been going on like this for a while and I'm taking too much of it in#i cant even see their name on my phone or like receive a message without going through mini heart attacks wondering if something's wrong-#-again and if i need to hear another drama again#it kind of feels uncomfortable as well in a way. like they're oversharing and that I'm not supposed to be knowing so much#maybe that's just me though. maybe im automatically distancing myself without realising it?#i dont know i just want to hide and not be so... involved i guess?#i think maybe I'm a person more suited to lighter friendships. or maybe there's been so much heaviness that this is just too much now#i dont know. i dont hate them at all but i wouldn't be too upset if they ghosted me (maybe thats just how i feel right now)#i dont know if I'm running away from my problems instead of trying to fix them or something#i have fixed them before. i have communicated and fixed issues before but this time i just cant anymore#okay that's enough rambling. it's midnight#mind you my zine does look pretty good. for a zine made out of a single sheet of paper and written/doodled on in black pen with a lil red#alright that's enough from me now. if you've stayed for this long go drink some water-i know you havent hydrated in ages#(says the woman who hasnt hydrated either-)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#personal#another huge issue with being indifferent most of the time is that it wears you down#the longer it goes on the more i think its never going to change.#the more it feels like this is my permanent state of being.#and that is never true. i can switch when im with my friends. i am happiest with my partners#and to have no time to myself to be away from my family kinda breaks me#i feel a very familiar loneliness and desire to run. to leave. to go now.#little me.#i have to remind her that there is good in this still. the indifference annoyance and loneliness arent permanent#but its hard. its almost like she forgets everytime. some kind of.... ..... emotional amnesia.#that makes so much sense.#the coping mechanism i use to instantly forget the meltdowns. in return brings them back#one cycle for the books surely.#i just hope maybe one day. i wont feel so lonely with my family.#I remember when i thought it was the end all be all#the cycle is annoying#i just have to get through this.#im lonely.#dont talk to me about it. this is a personal problem.#im sleepy....
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate admitting that my best friend is right on this but I would so much rather be angry than as sad and miserable as I am
#isabel talks#and I am angry but maybe not enough to distract myself from how heartbroken I am these days#I don't like being mad at him but it's easier than being so sad about losing him like this#especially since I can be angry while still not hating him. not that I could#it's a little harder especially since I don't have hard evidence that my suspicions are right but#at this point I need to believe something#and whatever the case he isn't acting mature and is running away from the problem whatever the problem may be
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...
#ik its hard to convey tone and emotion through text but i do really worry.#im sure people have felt the same way about me being new into being considered a guy too. Ik i wasnt prepared for how emotionally distant#guys can be. and how like. atomized we all are and how a lot of guys only know how to interact with the world through violence and#being a dick and .-. basically how a lot of guys are just bullies. idk.#i think if we have experiences that we think we can help others by sharing them and maybe preventing them from making the same mistakes#as us then we should share them yknow. idk.#for me at least it does in some ways feel like im a little kid again learning what its like to navigate a new social setting.#like i didnt realize how much playing pvp games with cis guys suck and ppl who grew up with that are just like. 'yeah. thats just how it is#im literally playing wow rn and playing on a pvp server and i literally never attack anyone sdhjdshjvvfd and ppl are just like.#dicks for NO REASON. im LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY. ugh#i get it dude! this is the only way you can feel like you have a big dick but cmon. you gotta accept the truth some day#^and having to learn to talk like that has been something ive had to adopt from dealing with cis dudes. fun#some transfems i want to grab by the shoulders and shake and be like 'DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF'#with a desperate plea in my gaze#'I WANT TO PROTECT YOU BUT I ALSO KNOW PPL HAVE TO LEARN SOME SOCIAL SHIT ON THEIR OWN BUT BY GOD ARE THERE#SOME THINGS I REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO FUCKING LEARN ABOUT THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AND#IS UNFORTUNATELY LIKELY TO HAPPEN TO ANY WOMAN'#why am i becoming a parent. i need to stop. problem is i care too much about people in spite of what ppl might think .-.#i worry so much thats why i yell at ppl online bc i dont want them to get hurt or do something to fuck themselves over idk.#i just... dont express it the best way. like a gym coach or something 🤦#i really am Dad Vibes now huh. how do i stop myself from becoming a dad. i dont even have kids.#well. i have a cat. the eternal rebellious teen. but still#i need to stop expressing my care and fear through anger. its not great. ppl misinterpret me too much w it. but im not mommy enough to#sugarcoat things and coddle people if i feel like thats whats happening. so idk.#i realize this might sound patronizing and im not trying to be at all. to transfems with more experience this is like 'duh' to them probabl#but I'm more talking to the young transfems I see online who seem like they dont go out much and i dont blame them at all for it#its fucking scary out here. especially as a woman. esp as someone alt righters fetishize. and im sorry.
0 notes
Text
I've been passively watching an isat playthrough while twiddling my thumbs in my current oni save as I wait for my new power systems to be done and hey guys. I think one of these bitches is aromantic. Why did no one tell me one of these bitches is aromantic I would have played the game myself if I knew that
#rat rambles#ok tbf I still theoretically Could but I dont think Id survive playing through the like first 6 hours of the stuff Ive already seen#anyways current review is that it's rly well written so far and I like how well the worldbuilding is implemented naturally in the dialogue#having odile be a presumably anthropologist or smth along those lines does wonders for this ofc but even with that its amazing how#natural the party feels when discussing their different cultures#and ofc I am staring at mirabelle hard. this game is clearly not shying away in the slightest from queer topics so. blinks oh so sweetly#I am sooooo fucking desperate for canonically aro characters who are actually written to be aro if she talks abt it at all I Will cry#honestly real con of this is that its making me conceptualize an eternal gales au which is not what I should be thinking abt this early#also its a problem because Im pretty dead set on the idea that aris would be sif and that means tali is off limits#which is unfortunate because I think itd be funny to make her mirabelle on the sole basis of her maybe being aro#otherwise the assignments are pretty easy even if some of them would be looser fits than others based on my current knowledge#mase would be odile fydd would be bonnie and sier would be iz#for mira Im thinking if I wanted to get funky with it then maybe bloom? it doesnt effect sier too much since I can just make it so his mom#was the one frozen in time or smth#now bloom is rly only in the running because of the leftover human kids shes somehow the best choice despite being 9 years old lol#dodie is off the table since I try to practice restraint when using dodie in aus#and the snake triplets are well. the snake triplets.#they have about a billion things that makes them hard to fit into any au#now I could use a stalien instead but thats a Really hard choice for me to make given the rest of the selected cast#plus none of them actually fit that much better than bloom would tbh?#like to be clear basically the only thing keeping bloom from being an easy pick is that shes 9#like I could just do it anyways but I should probably wait a lil bit to make sure mira doesnt pull out some crazy shit to change my mind#based on what I do know the only one thats rly a bit of a stretch is sier but Im ok with that I can just slap a different character arc in#rly most fucked up thing abt this cast is that aris our sif is second tallest#which feels deeply wrong to me especially once you consider the hat#her siouette is going to be all fucked up and different from sif's shes going to be so big compared to them#shes not even That tall shes like 5'8 thats just tall compared to most of her companions#in canon shes the third tallest of the friend group and second tallest not counting dodie#so its mase then her and in this hypothetical au the rest of the garden gnome squad#sier is 5'1 fydd is 5 flat and bloom is 4'9 if Im remembering correctly
0 notes
Text
.
#rant vent#tw#and nothing is even like wrong???? or at least i dont know what it except being in my childhood home where i always heavily dissociate plus#christmas season but like it wasn't even that bad this year??? i seriously don't know what my problem is. am i just asocial as fuck? im glad#home alone on my pc isolated from everyone and everything forever and i dont know /why/ why why what's wrong??? why do i hate it here so#much???? i dont know!!!!!!#god i want to just ghost everyone everything move away live alone be alone be miserable in peace idk jesus#stupid stupid id miss my friends but sometimes running is simply easier#maybe my ex was right to compare me to cowardly self isolating characters idk lmao run run run all we good at
0 notes
Note
I absolutely love your stories they’re so amazing! Can I please request the task force and pranking them by telling them a guy did your Brazilian wax
Thank you! I can't take all the credit. I might be the writer, but the Imagines Series couldn't be what it is without all the amazing ideas people have submitted. I'm honestly blown away by the amount of creativity and ideas sent my way. My inbox is full of wonderful requests, and while it's going to take me a bit to get to them all, I'm eager to complete them!
The amount of prank requests I've been getting has been so fun. Not just this one, but telling mom to shut up, and the premium air prank, etc. All of these make me giggle and have been a blast to work on. Thank you so much for sending this in!
Presented in four double drabbles.
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Female Reader
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, suggestive themes, established relationship, pranks, non-descriptive nudity
Word Count: 800
ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
John Price
John briefly licks the pad of his thumb before counting out the appropriate amount of pound notes.
“This enough?” he asks, presenting it to you.
It’s more than enough. “Plenty. Thank you, John.”
He leans forward a bit, and you eagerly greet him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. Drawing back, you give him your best smile. But beneath the grin is a trick.
You want to mess with him a bit.
“I have a new waxer,” you shrug, adding the cash to your wallet. “Cheryl put in her notice.”
Cheryl did not put in her notice. That woman probably won’t retire until she dies.
John inclines his head, already turning away. “That’s too bad. You liked her.”
“Yeah,” you sigh, grabbing your purse. “They’ve put me with someone new. A Mark? Mike? No—Marcus? I think.”
John freezes. He slowly turns back, cheeks bright red. “What?”
“It starts with an ‘m’,” you muse.
“Your new waxer is a man?”
“Yes,” you shrug. “And?” John’s face resembles a beet. “Everything good?”
“Where does Cherly work now?”
“John—”
He grabs his phone from his pocket and starts tapping away at it. "I want to know if she accepts walk-ins."
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Kyle's hand slowly runs over your newly waxed skin. "Look at you. So soft and smooth." His touch makes you shiver.
"You paid for it," you murmur.
"I did," smiles Kyle, head dipping.
His tongue makes contact, and you release a moan. It’s slightly distracting, but not enough to detract from you poking at him.
“Had a new waxer,” you sigh as Kyle goes in for another taste.
“Did you?” he asks absently, more interested in your new smoothness.
“A man, actually. Undergoing training. There were two of them in the room.”
Kyle's head snaps up. "What?"
"Why'd you stop?" you whimper.
"There were two men that waxed you?"
“No, Kyle. Just one.”
A series of emotions pass over Kyle's face. His mouth opens. Closes. And then his hand forms a fist, fingers flexing and relaxing as he mulls over something.
"Everything okay?" you ask, suddenly worried.
“Can’t be that hard.” Kyle pushes away from the couch and reaches for his phone. “Or expensive.”
“What can’t? Kyle. What are you talking about?”
You lean forward and see him adding a waxing kit to his online shopping cart.
“No,” you say firmly. “You’re not putting hot wax anywhere near my vagina.”
John "Soap" MacTavish
"Oh, what's this?"
Johnny's hands are on your thighs and then beneath your skirt in a moment.
"Johnny!"
"Is this for me? You don't have to. You know I like a good adventure through the woods."
"Johnny!" you say again, slapping his arm playfully as his fingers lightly squeeze, making your squirm in his grasp.
"Was this on my dime?" he asks.
"Maybe."
"Oh, aye. Am I gonna find an unknown charge?"
"With a tip. A large tip. My waxer deserved it. He did a good job."
"Oh, they—he?"
"Yes. That a problem?"
Johnny's hands don't retreat but he's staring at you—hard. You arch an eyebrow and he finally speaks. "Your waxer is a man?"
No.
"Yes."
Johnny nods and then he leans in, lowering his voice. “You’re taking the piss.”
“I’m—”
“I saw your location. I checked it out. They don’t have a single male employee in that place.”
Your face grows hot.
Johnny’s hands squeeze a bit harder, and then he lands a brief smack against the curve of your ass. “Lying to me, love?” Johnny tsks. He palms the curve of your ass where it stings. “Suppose I should punish you.”
“Maybe you should.”
Simon "Ghost" Riley
You reject the call and clutch your phone to your chest. You've messed up. Royally. Pranking Simon is always a terrible idea.
The texts were just a tease. Just a way to push Simon’s buttons.
I have a new waxer.
I thought it would be one of the other ladies.
But no!
It was a guy!
Your phone buzzes again and you nearly throw it across the room. It’s Simon. You decline the call. Everything is quiet for a few brief seconds before a text message from him comes through.
Answer your phone.
You click out a reply.
I'm in the car!
His reply comes instantly.
You're at home. I know your location.
Another incoming call. This one you answer.
"Simon,” you say flatly.
"What location did you go to?" he asks, voice rough with tension.
"Why?" you counter.
"What's his name?" he snaps.
"I know what you're doing, Simon.”
You always forget just how deep his possessive streak goes.
Silence. Then, "I just want to talk."
"Simon.”
He growls your name in warning.
"You don't need to go there. Just...come home. You can see the results for yourself."
He sighs. "I'll be there in ten. Be ready for me."
taglist:
@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @cherryofdeath @ferns-fics
@tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus @no-oneelsebutnsu
@marispunk @smileykiddie08 @whisperwispxx @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41
@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat
@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim
@voids-universe @iloveslasher @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307 @itsberrydreemurstuff
@cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic @sammysinger04
@kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld @umno-yeah
@daemondoll @jackrabbitem @lxblm @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez
@ash-tarte @enarien @gingergirl06 @greeniegreengreen @certainlygay
#task force 141#task force 141 x reader#task force 141 imagine#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#task force 141 x you#john price x reader#john soap mactavish#simon riley#simon ghost riley#task force 141 fic#task force 141 smut#simon ghost riley x reader#john price#captain john price#captain john price x you#captain john price x reader#kyle garrick imagine#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley fanfic#simon riley fanfic#simon ghost riley fanfiction#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz x you#gaz x reader#gaz x you#soap x reader#soap x you
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
SYSTEM! SHEN YUAN AU (Pt.2)
Pt.1
Im not done with this, so to the people that wanted more, here it is! I, fortunately or not, have thought way too much again, so once more this is going to be a very, very, VERY long post. If you guys have any ideas about this btw, please do share them! I really am just letting my mind wander a bit more than usual, so maybe someone else can have more structured thoughts than me lol. (Fair warning, there probably will be plot holes, so sorry in advance!)
Please read Pt.1 if you haven't, or this won't make any sense!
After SY warped away from his impromptu meeting with Binghe, the last place he would like to end up would be even deeper into the Endless Abyss, but according to his System, the next piece of the virus was here. While not happy, since his Personal System was (mostly) working as intended, SY managed to activate Ghost Mode and walk towards the next part without having to deal with any of the creatures down there. (He had to try very hard not to get distracted by the monsters, lest his supervisor thinks he also went missing.)
It takes considerably more time to find the virus this time, so much in fact, SY starts to recognize his surroundings from SQH's ramblings (not that he was interested or anything), and he feels a cold sense of dread running down his spine. There was no way he was that unlucky that the object that got corrupted this time was-
He was that unlocky. Lo and behold, after entering a run down ruin, SY is faced with the legendary Xin Mo, power so overwhelming it manifested as dark fire covering the blade. The only reason why SY wasn't immediately writhing on the ground from the sword's power was Ghost Mode, which he could not rely for too long, as his Personal System was displaying warning after warning about Possibility of Corruption and God Like Plot Point. It all meant that SY was on a timer, and if he took too long, the sword would start corrupting his System, which in turn could corrupt him.
Now, since this was a VERY important Plot Point, Luo Binghe had to find Xin Mo or else the plot would derail to an unfixable degree, SY couldn't just snip at it, which was a problem, since manual debugging took a considerably longer time! Still, he summons his Scissors and positions it so he can start at least trimming off the virus.
His plan immediately backfires however, as an ominous crack sounds through the air and he's suddenly pushed away from the sword by a gust of energy. A bit disoriented, he shakes his head and acesses the sit-
Xin Mo, the horrible sword it was, was apparently so OP that it seemed to detect the Scissors at the last second, and the thing attacked back! The metal of the Scissors was dark and broken where it came close to the sword, almost broken in half! Which, not good! It any other time, a pair of broken Debugging Sheers would be more or less fine, if not a major inconvinience (and pay deduction) for SY, but since he'd been warping all over the time for a while now, his Personal System's energy reserves were carefully rationed, and if he were to use a chunk to send the Scissors back for some emergency repair, he'd only have one chance to go back to HQ. Alone.
He couldn't delay it any longer, he desperately needed to find SQH and pray he still had some energy reserves left.
Setting his Personal System's next warp location to SQH's last known location, SY wouldn't have guessed in a million years that he would go back to Cang Qiong Mountain, but whatever; maybe SQH had wanted to start with fixing the bug on Binghe's pendant? Not that this was the right time since it was after Binghe fell into the Abyss, but SQH had never been good at warping. It takes a bit of wandering and going inside different buildings, but eventually his Personal System managed to get a dirrect ping on SQH's System, which sent a massive wave of relief rushing through SY, since it meant that SQH was still slive.
Though as to why he was at An Ding Peak, SY could only guess.
After a bit more wandering, SY enters on what seems to be a (very messy) office space, SY feels all the pieces coming together in his mind. Half sprawled across the table with piles of paper covering the entire table's surface lay the An Ding Peak Lord, which- was already weird, since wasn't this guy supposed to be an enemy of the Peak now? After the whole betrayal thing or whatever? But that would've been something to look into later, were it not for said Peak Lord casually scrolling through a Personal System screen. A Personal System that could only be used by the System's Maintanence Staff.
SY wastes no time in deactivating Ghost Mode, and when SQH's eyes snap to his, the man jumps so high from his chair he almost falls back. It's not a happy reunion by a longshot, since SY immediately jumped his friend co-worker and demanded an explaination, almost screaming about it was all his fault for doing shitty maintenence, and creating this shitty world if it's shitty OP sword which broke his Sheers? Do you know how expensive these are?? I know you do, cause the supervisor never lets you touch the good ones cause you keep cracking all the other pairs-
It takes a more or less one whole hour to calm down SY, but eventually the younger settled and lets SQH say his bit of the story: Apparently, in his messing around with the System's world creation program when he was trying to find the bug in his world, he'd accidentaly managed to get himself actually transmigrated to PIDW, though still with (limited) acess to his Personal System, which let him still send messages to their supervisor and pretend that everything was ok. He'd gotten so unlucky too! Out of all the people to accidentaly select, did it have to be the An Ding Peak Lord? Couldn't it have been Binghe? Or MBJ- (SQH cuts his lamenting when he notices SY's absolutely viscious death glare being stared right through his soul.)
Long story short, he'd initially did try to fix his blunder, but as more time passed and SQH's access to Maintenance priviledges went out one by one on his System, he eventually just... Started actually living there. In fact, he was living so well there that he dared say his life as Peak Lord was even better then when he was with the System! Of course, since he had been integrated as a 'character' now, he had his limitations, he actually managed to get to know his fellow peak lords! He knew the name of his character's family members and his disciples! He'd managed to build a life he never even thought he could have inside the System.
Sure, did he betray the Peak? Yes, yes he did. Were they all going to die in a few years time when Binghe came back from hell? Yeah, yeah they were, and he was immensely guilty and terrified, but! The plot could be changed! He already assumed someone from the System had popped up in the Conference, as when Binghe had recently made his alliance with MBJ, and had mentioned in passing this weird thing that had happened to him just before he fell into the Abyss.
Anyways, eventually SY begrudgingly accepts SQH's decision to stay in PIDW, but he still had to help SY; and so they form a plan: SY was going to transfer some energy to SQH so he could temporarily get his acess to the full version of his Personal System and use his energy reserves to send SY's Sheers and get them fixed. SQH was also going to properly apologize to their supervisor for suddenly quitting without notice AND order some more energy stacks to be sent to SY's System. SY on the other hand had devises a plan to get closer to XIn Mo without the sword exploding his face off:
Infiltrate Demon Emperor Luo Binghe's palace as a lowly staff member and slowly debug the sword from the inside.
A perfect plan! What could go wrong?
SY selects to warp to a time where Binghe had Xin Mo mostly in control, so it is to no surprise he warps to a place were the Demonic Emperor's Palace is absolutely filled with women. Not the best situation, since a lot of people could and probably would be able to see him, but with that many harem members, it wasn't too much of a stretch to assume there was also a considerable number of staff, which, to SY's luck, there was! In fact, after he managed to activate a disguise for his clothes so they matched the rest of the servants, no one bat an eye on his presence; at most someone would inquire about his short hair, but other than that he was as noteable as a fly.
The first phase of his plan was already a success, so now he had to move on to reconnaissance which was mostly easy and the worst thing in his life. He was mostly looking for Binghe's quarters could be as he probably kept the sword close to him at all times, though with how big the palace was, his objective had gradually shifted to mapping out the labyrinth of halls as much as possible (SY was very glad that the System allowed him to create a map in real time or he might have gotten lost in the first five minutes). He walks so much he even manages to catch a few pieces of gossip, though the most interesting one by far being one about Binghe:
Apparently, a year ago, the Emperor had a qi deviation where, for a day, he seemed to have completely shifted his personality; he refused to touch any of his wives and kept screaming for his long dead Shizun. SY doesn't really remember that plot point, though his wondering is cut short when he hears people walking towards his direction. instinctively he his behind a dark corner, momentarily forgetting that he 'worked' at the palace now.
At list his bad luck was finally turning over as the Golden Protagonist himself walked past him with one of his wives hanging off his arm, looking just as cool as SY had always imagined. He had to snap himself out of his stuppor though, as two things caught his attention: First, Xin Mo was, predictably, strapped to his waist, still glitched but at least the virus seemed more or less contained, which gave SY a bit more time to work, though the other thing he noticed...
Hanging onto an old-looking braid laid SY's missing tassle that Binghe had found for him all the way back at the Conference.
What the hell was Luo Binghe doing wearing that old tassle at this day and age??
A few days passed and the Tassle Incident (as he called it) had to be set aside, as it seemed that passing as a servant also meant that other servants and even some wives expected SY to actually work. Not great, he sucked at cleaning and the other servants spared no words to make it clear to him, but it at least gave him something to do while he waited for his Scissors to arrive. SQH had sent him a few messages saying he'd gotten his part of the deal done, so now all SY could do was monitor Xin Mo's condition (from very far away), and occasionally manually debug some small virus pieces that had fallen from the sword, which luckily were easy enough to deal with that he didn't need to cut them off.
The only thing that was worrying him now is how... odd Luo Binghe seemed. Of course, he was supposed to be the pinnacle of the Cool Guy trope, so some edginess was to be expected, but Binghe didn't look just Edgy, he looked straight up depressed. There were bags under his eyes, and he barely seemed to tolerate the presence of 99% of his wives, and that damned braid with the damned tassle was still there-
Point is, Binghe acting so weird really threw SY through a loop, and he may have gotten a bit careless. At a random day when SY was carrying some dirty laundry another servant had just shoved at him, he had no prior warning before a voice sounded from behind him: "You seem to have dropped something."
He barely managed to shake off the violent sense of deja-vu that had sucker punched him in the face before he realized what was happening; Luo Binghe was talking to him. Directly to him. Shit- shit! Did he notice? Was Binghe doing a clever call back, spider-man style?? Was SY going to die????
SY shakily turns to Binghe, keeping his eyes locked onto the floor, bowing as much as possible that he still seemed respectful but the bag of clothes he had didn't all just fall to the floor. Thankfully Binghe didn't seem to mind, and simply put the fallen piece of clothing on top of the others and walked away. Though, just as SY was regaining his breath, Luo Binghe's voice stops him again. "You... Have we met before?"
SY trembles something about only being hired recently and not having the opportunity to formaly meet Junshang, and it seems to be a decent enough that Binghe just stares at him for a while longer before walking away. He really should grow out his hair if even the Emperor got weirded out like that...
Binghe started eyeing SY way more after that day. The protagonist would rarely speak directly to him, but SY could feel his gaze as if it were burning; though, since Binghe never said anything, SY just assumed that whatever Binghe's problem with him was, it was likely nothing to worry about.
In fact, it probably was because one of Binghe's wives had used SY is an impromptu act to try to get Binghe jealous (he just frowned, separated the two and walked away) and after that she had gotten infatuated with him, so she'd turned SY into her personal servant. Because of that SY saw Binghe at most two times a week instead of the 50% chnace of seeing his shadow once a week. Wow.
Because of this, as much as Binghe noticed SY, SY noticed Binghe as well, the protagonist seeming to get even more down as the days went. The tassle was still braided in his hair (SY worried it was just going to become a lock at this point), his eyebags never seemed to leave his eyes, and he was always muttering about... something. (SY managed to overhear something about 'fairness' and what Binghe actually wanted...?)
It all culminated at a seemingly random night. Most of the wives and servants had gone to sleep, only the more in-human women still hanging around, and SY, of course, but mostly it was because he wanted to see how close he could get to Binghe's quarters (aka Xin Mo) at night. Not that it was necessary, as when he was walking his attention was adruptly caught by the strangest sight: Luo binghe, sitting on one of the stone stair that lead to one of the many courtyards, being absolutely drenched in rain. The weirdest part was that a few servants and wives had also passed this place, and they all seemed like they didn't see Binghe, or didn't care.
Hating to see such an usually proud man (not that he'd seen much of that either) just soaking outside as if he'd just caught the love of his life cheating with another man, SY decided that at least he'd do a good job as a servant and take care of 'his Lord'. He grabs an umbrella from one of the adjacent rooms and slowly walks outside, covering Luo Binghe's form, not really caring if he was also getting soaked.
They stayed silent for who knows how long, but eventually, Binghe's eyes that had been laser focused on the horizon slowly blink once, as if coming out of a trance, and slowly move to SY's face, up to his hand holding the umbrella. "My Lord should get back inside. He'll get sick that way." SY half murmurs.
Binghe doesn't respond, though after a few seconds, his eyes seem to widen a bit and his breath comes out a little shaky. SY doesn't dare comment on it.
"Have we met before?" Luo Binghe asks again.
"...Yes." Shen Yuan says.
Binghe closes his eyes, and they stay like that for another hour.
Pt.3
#WE'RE DONE FOR NOW#this got atrociously long im so sorry#also im sorry for any typos im sure there were a lot#im not fixing them now doe#drabble#svsss#fanfic#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#luo bingge#bingyuan#binggeeyuan#this is set after bingge vc bingmei#if it wasnt clear enough#komm's system au
873 notes
·
View notes
Note
what if rafe found kook!sweetheart!reader’s girl blog? omg and he see’s some nsfw reblogs…
warnings: use of the nickname ‘daddy’ (just once), reader is just a girl, 18+ links
a/n: i think i would die if this really happened omg
“i still think i should join you in the shower..” you looked up at rafe’s reflection from your vanity, a teasing smile playing on his lips. “we both know how that’ll end.” you laughed, adjusting your robe before twisting the door knob of your bathroom. “i’ll be right out.” rafe watched as you closed the door behind you, collapsing onto your bed with a sigh. he wanted nothing more than to get you underneath your sheets and, hopefully, have his head between your thighs.
just as he felt himself growing hard at the thought of you gasping his name, he heard your phone ding!
thinking nothing of it, he glanced at the device on your nightstand, a few more notifications coming in. his eyebrows knitted in confusion. you always had your phone silenced at this time of night. fingertips itching to check what was making your phone go off, he muttered a quick ‘fuck it.’ before grabbing the damned thing. “tumblr?” he narrowed his eyes at the unfamiliar app icon.
[11:41 PM] lanasweetheart liked your post: “something about a manly man getting the bestest sleep in a pink hyperfeminine bed (he’s so babygirl 🎀)”
rafe clicked the notif, a ‘what the fuck?’ falling from his lips when a picture of him sleeping next to you lit up the screen. tapping on the profile icon, rafe was in for a surprise when all your posts were now at the tips of his fingers. “three thousand notes?” he was in disbelief that a photo of the back of his head peeking out of your pink comforter had gotten so much traction. “girls really go crazy over that shit?” he laughed, full on scrolling now.
rafe thought it was cute that all your posts consisted of photo dumps of your nights out with your girlfriends, cute selfies with freshly done makeup, nail pics, some rant posts here and there about drama he already had the full scoop on, but then he came across a tag that said ‘୨ৎ thinking thoughts’ that completely flipped his brain inside out.
bf looked so dilfy today, should i ask him for babies?
“you totally should.” he whispered to himself, tongue running across his bottom lip as he kept reading. the next post was a reblog.
gorgeous gorgeous girls pout and whine and whimper instead of using words
“yeah, you do.” rafe could feel heat starting to settle in the pit of his stomach. you were always so sweet and graceful, your boyfriend couldn’t help but feel a smidge of jealousy that an app got to see this side of you before he did.
i just want him to break me sometimes. slap me, choke me, degrade me.. rough me up a little bit that’s all :(
“holy shit.” he cleared his throat, his cock now straining against the denim material of his jeans. he would’ve happily done all of that for you if you asked, but then again maybe that was the problem. you shouldn’t have to. apart of rafe felt bad for invading your privacy like this, but man was he glad that he did.
love when daddy picks out my lingerie for the night <3
rafe’s jaw was on the ground. ‘daddy’???? oh, you were so going to get it. “what are you doing?” rafe jumped at the sound of your voice, having not heard the water to the shower stop. you were in nothing but a robe, the scent of your strawberry shampoo filling up his senses. “what am i doing?” he repeated your question, getting up as he placed your phone back on your nightstand.
“yeah.. did i get a text message or something?” your heart started pounding in your ears as you watched rafe’s eyes grow dark. “no. no text message. ‘was just looking through your filthy tumblr account.” you blinked, chest rising and falling as your blood ran cold. “oh?” you backed away with each step rafe took until you were finally blocked by your wall. “mhmm, turns out my sweet little girlfriend wants to be treated like a whore in bed.”
you swallowed thickly, a gasp leaving your lips when rafe’s hand wrapped around your throat. “wanna be roughed up?” he laughed, dragging you over to your bed before ripping the robe off of your body. “i’ll fuckin’ rough you up.”
#❤︎₊ ⊹ works#₊˚⊹♡ rafe#₊˚⊹♡ kook!sweetheart!reader#outer banks#outer banks fic#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks smut#obx#obx smut#obx fanfiction#obx imagine#obx rafe#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron imagine#rafe fluff#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
ATEEZ and ALMOST BREAKING UP
ot8 x gn reader
summary: you’re in a relationship and one of you (or both) want to break up.
tw: angst (insecurities, arguments, reader flinches sometimes but it’s not violence) but with happy endings because i am weak + fluff + slight nsfw in mingi’s + alcohol in jongho’s.
a/n: i got carried away with yeosang’s and jongho’s my apologies 🙏 rqs are open btw! (also i promise i’m working on ateez stuck in the friendzone part 2 but i have this scheduled for today)
HONGJOONG
you stared at hongjoong in bewilderment. he was sitting down in front of you, with tears in his eyes that threatened to spill if he blinked. he looked so… fragile. as if one single word or touch from you could break him. yet you sat there, with confusion painted all over your face.
“i’m sorry, what?” you asked.
“i think we need to break up” he whispered, as a tear rolled down his cheek and looked away. so you didn’t hear wrong.
“i don’t agree” you said, taking his hand in yours. “what brought you this thought?” you asked, making him look down. you waited a few moments, not wanting to pressure him into talking. then, hongjoong lifted your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it.
“i’m always busy, we haven’t seen each other in a while and i take too long to reply to your texts” he explained. “you deserve someone who is always there for you”
“but don’t i get a say in this? i knew what i was getting into when we started seeing each other” you started saying as you scooted closer to him, in order to lift up his face to look at you. once your eyes interlocked, you cradled his face and continued: “yeah it sucks not being able to see you as much as i wished to, but also it’s not like i’m unhappy. i cherish the small moments we spend together, it makes me eager for the next one”
“but-“ he started saying, but you interrupted him with a kiss. at first, hongjoong sat still, surprised by your sudden actions, but then he kissed you right back. “no buts joong, we are not breaking up. i love you and i still want this. i still want you” you whispered against his lips, reassuringly.
he nodded in response, believing you.
SEONGHWA
“can we talk for a moment?” you asked seonghwa, who immediately felt his blood run cold at the question. he dropped his phone and studied your face: you looked sad, tired even.
realization struck him as quick as alighting: you’ve been avoiding his kisses for at least two days now, and he’s been brushing it off thinking you were just in a weird mood. i mean, yes it bothered him, but he also loved you too much to not give you space if you needed it. he always wanted you to be as comfortable as possible. but maybe he was wrong about that?
“is something wrong, my love?” he asked with a shaky voice as he took your hand in his. he chose to ignore the way you slightly flinched at his touch, or else his heart would break even more.
“i think-“ you started saying, looking down at your intertwined hands. his hold was gentle, as he always has been. kind, gentle, beautiful, all things you were not. “i think we should take a break”.
you looked up to him, and immediately regretted it: tears formed in his eyes, threatening to spill, while his lips were parted, probably trying to think of what to say. the scene completely broke you, and further proved your point about your insecurities.
“did i do something wrong?” he whispered, not trusting his voice to speak louder without breaking. your eyebrows furrowed, how could he think that when he’s been nothing but perfect in every way? “if i did i’m sorry y/n, i’ll change, but please don’t leave me”
you hugged him tightly, hiding his face on your neck as he sobbed. you didn’t realize you started crying too. “i’m sorry baby, you didn’t do anything wrong” you started saying after a while, pulling him back and cradling his face “it’s me, it’s all me and it has always been me. i’m the problem and i’m always holding you back, i’m sorry hwa”
“holding me back? what do you mean? baby you’re my motivation” seonghwa said, wiping away your tear with his thumbs. “but-“ you started saying, only to be interrupted by him:
“no, don’t ever say that again. you’re my star, y/n”.
YUNHO
normally, you would find yunho’s angry face hot, but now that it’s directed at you? not so much. not when he’s staring at you like you’re a waste of time and space, which only made your anger bubble up more.
“don’t just sit and stare at me! can you please give me a response? it’s not hard yunho” you exclaimed, earning a big eye roll from him “it’s a simple yes or no question: were you flirting with them?”
“god y/n you can be so annoying! no i wasn’t flirting, but now i wish i was so i could have a valid excuse to not see you again!” yunho yelled, standing up abruptly from his seat, making you take a step back unconsciously. this action didn’t go unnoticed by him, quickly realizing that surprise took over your face for a moment, before turning back to anger.
“if you don’t want to see me again then let’s just break up. i’m setting you free yunho” you said in anger, contrasting the way your eyes started watering.
you turned around in order to leave, not wanting him to see you cry, but he grabbed your hand, stopping you. when you turned around, you saw that his hard expression had softened, anger slowly dissipating.
“wait, don’t leave” he started saying “i’m sorry, i wasn’t thinking straight when i said what i said. i love you, i didn’t flirt with them and i don’t want you to leave”
yunho’s eyes silently begged you to forgive him, as he brought you closer to him slowly, testing the waters. when he realized you weren’t going to move away, he wrapped his arms around you. “i’m truly sorry baby, please don’t leave. i love you”.
you cried softly on his chest, as he thought of ways to make you forgive him completely. he refused to let you go.
YEOSANG
“i think this should end, y/n” he said suddenly, making you turn around in your spot at the kitchen. you looked at him confused, tea cups still on your hand.
“you mean the habit of us having tea together before bed?” you asked, eyebrows furrowed. yeosang stood up from the coach, and approached you slowly as you took notice of his sad face. “you know what i mean” he whispered once he reached you.
you shook your head “no, actually i don’t. is this about the argument earlier? i forgave you already, it’s all good yeo i promise” you replied quickly, setting the tea cups aside and proceeding to hold his arms. yeosang stared at you, it seems like he was about to cry as well, becoming all too real.
it’s rare for you to argue honestly, often choosing to just talk things out calmly. but earlier that day, ‘talking’ seemed impossible, as constant yelling filled the room. yeosang had promised, once again, to take you out on a date to celebrate your anniversary (two weeks and a half ago), but due to his idol duties he cancelled again. you have had enough, so things escalated rather quickly, making him leave your shared home with a loud shut of the door.
thing is, hours later yeosang showed up with a small bouquet of flowers and asked for forgiveness. he also explained to you how overwhelmed he felt at the moment with all the upcoming comeback preparations. you understood him obviously, and decided it would be better to just move the date until after promotions.
so everything was fine, all forgiven. what brought this now? “baby we barely see each other, except late at night like right now” he started saying, biting his lip so he could stop the tears from spilling out “you deserve someone better”.
“yeosang you are the ‘better’ you’re refereing to! i don’t want anyone else” you answered, hugging him. “i just want you, all of you, even with your weird and long schedules. i still want to feel your kiss on my cheek every time you leave and i still want to have tea with you late at night”
yeosang kissed you, pouring his whole soul and love in it as he held you impossibly closer than before. after a while, he reluctantly broke it, face still close to yours.
“i’m sorry, i love you” he whispered.
SAN
“no” he said, shaking his head as he looked at you with an unreadable expression “no, we’re not breaking up”
“but-“ you started to argue, kind of getting annoyed at the way he dismissed your previous statement. it’s been a week since fans started suspecting of your relationship, after a sasaeng had caught you at a restaurant celebrating your first anniversary. the media was going wild, even going as far as searching up your socials and sending malicious messages, all telling you to break up with san and that you’re harming his idol image.
“i said no, baby” he said, kissing your cheek and taking your hand, leading you to the bedroom “let’s go to bed”
“san! i’m about to ruin your career, i can’t just brush it off like it’s nothing! we need to break up, or at least take a break until everything calms down” you exclaimed, taking your hand back. san stared at you, face still unreadable but with some traces of hurt evident in his eyes. he took your hands again.
“you’re not going to ruin my career, love” he started saying, holding your hands tighter as if he was scared of letting go “kq’s management is handling it, they assured me everything will be fine because the angle of the photo didn’t show my face, and the couple behind us hid my body as well, so it’s not noticeable that it’s me”
you thought for a moment. truth is, you love san way too much to bring him harm, as small as possible it may be. he knew this, but his reasoning made sense. for all the media knows, the guy in the picture could be a lookalike.
“please” he said, barely above a whisper. you nodded, kissing his lips reassuringly. it’s going to be okay.
MINGI
the room felt heated, despite the different pieces of clothing that have been mindlessly discarded all over the place. mingi’s mouth never left yours, tongue entering your mouth as if it was it’s second home. his hands were everywhere: massaging your chest, holding your waist, playing with your ass, caressing your thighs. you felt him everywhere, all at once.
“we should really break things off” he said, in between kisses. you nodded, letting out a small moan when his lips found your neck. “definitely” you managed to say.
you and mingi have been arguing a lot recently, sometimes over silly small things like laundry or house chores, and other times the argument would revolve around hin forgetting important dates or your stubbornness to remember that he is an idol and is, of course, busy.
mingi’s hands went back to your ass, slapping it lightly and making you jump. he proceeded to hold your thighs, pulling you up to his height as he pressed you against the wall. he kissed you again, desperately and deeply.
“min-“ you started saying, or attempted to say since his lips made it near impossible. he bit your lip in response. “mingi”
he hummed against your lips. “this is not what breaking up means” you managed to say, pulling the back of his hair lightly but enough to make hin groan. “i know, but what if it is for us? i know you’ll miss this, miss me. now hold tight” he answered, unbucking his belt as you held on him tightly to not fall while he maneuvered with his pants.
once he was done, and pressed you harder against the wall, your trail of thought immediately disappeared. if it was a good or bad decision, or something that would become cyclical, that would be a problem for the future.
WOOYOUNG
“we should break up” you said, as a matter of fact. you stood in front of him, arms crossed as a serious expression adorned your face. wooyoung, in contrast, was sitting on your shared bed, mindlessly scrolling through social media. he didn’t even bother to look up.
“and why do you think that, baby?” he asked, still not looking at you, which caused your eye to twitch slightly. “exactly because of things like this wooyoung! i’m trying to break up with you and you don’t even care!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms in the air dramatically.
wooyoung blocked his phone and set it aside, sitting up straight in the process. his eyes found yours, probably trying to decipher how you were feeling. “are there any other reasons?”
“you don’t have time for me-“ you replied. “i still see you every night unless i’m on tour, and even in that circumstance i call every day” he interrupted. “okay, but you also never help me around the house” you argued. “baby, i literally cook half of your meals”.
“but-“ you started saying, only to be interrupted once again by wooyoung: “see? no reasons, no break up” he said, patting your head and returning to his phone.
“you’re impossible” you said, sitting beside him with your arms still crossed against your chest. wooyoung kissed your cheek “i know, but you love me nonetheless. plus i know this was an attempt to prank me as revenge for last time”
your eyes widened in surprise.
“HOW?!”
JONGHO
you might have taken a few too many drinks at tonight’s night out with your friends, so they had to call your boyfriend jongho to come and pick you up. thankfully, he answered quickly and said he would be there in 10.
“noooo you called jongho?” you asked, tipsily as you grabbed your friend’s hand that was holding your phone. “he has to wake up early tomorrow! he shouldn’t be driving around, he has to rest!”
“someone has to get you home, babe! plus he seemed fine, i promise” your friend answered in between giggles watching you pout.
once you spot jongho, your whole face lit up involuntarily, as if it was a reflex. once he reached your table, he hugged you from behind, pecking your cheek. “thanks for calling me and taking care of her” he told your friends. you clumsily bid your goodbyes to your friends and turned to jongho, ready to go.
“you shouldn’t have come, jongs” you started saying as he buckled up your belt in the passenger seat. “you have a long day tomorrow”
“it’s no problem baby, i couldn’t sleep anyways” he said, jogging back to the driver’s seat. you looked at him, thoughtful expression on your face for a few moments. “what?” he asked, chuckling as he drove the car out of the parking lot.
“you weren’t able to sleep because i was out? or because you weren’t feeling tired?” you asked, curiously. for someone who was terribly drunk, you sure got philosophical. add that to the long list of things jongho finds endearing about you.
“little bit of both i guess” he answered, stopping at a red light. you stayed quiet, strangely so, which caused jongho to turn his face to you to check if you fell asleep. but you weren’t. instead, you looked at him with tears in your eyes. “baby? what’s wrong?” he said, slightly panicking, not caring that the light turned green. since it was late at night, his car was the only one there at the moment.
“i’m a burden to you” you concluded, tears rolling down your cheeks “i’m holding you back and you should leave me”. huh?!?!
“baby, what are you talking about?” he asked in confusion, before frantically holding your face and wiping your tears away with kisses. “you always appear to save the day jongs, and i do nothing in return” you whispered, looking deeply into his eyes.
“you do more than you realize, y/n” he said, kissing you once more. “but you’re drunk, and i know nothing i’ll say will stick in this state. so let’s talk about it tomorrow, yes?”
“promise?” you asked, in a tiny voice. “i promise” he reassured.
#ateez x reader#ateez headcanons#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#hongjoong imagines#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa imagines#yunho x reader#yunho imagines#yeosang x reader#yeosang imagines#san x reader#san imagines#mingi x reader#mingi imagines#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung imagines#jongho x reader#jongho imagines#hongjoong scenarios#seonghwa scenarios#yunho scenarios#yeosang scenarios#san scenarios#mingi scenarios#wooyoung scenarios#jongho scenarios#ateez angst
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
2K notes
·
View notes