#the conversation shinji has w misato before he runs away just hit a liiiiittle too hard
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classic scenario i fear
#turning this post into being about eva bc i finally started that but#the conversation shinji has w misato before he runs away just hit a liiiiittle too hard#where he's like yeah if i don't do better i'll die but it doesn't matter bc i Can't do better anyway#so whatever. but i will Say im gonna do better Sorta to get this authority figure off my back#while still making it very clear tonally that i am doing horribly and that i don't expect them to care about that#in a like. 'we're stuck w each other + your need me to do it but im Not gonna be happy about it or good at it' way#i have had. Many many conversations like that#idk why everybody hates him he's just like me fr. viewing himself as completely lacking in agency to cope with#the incomplete but very much present powerlessness he experiences. 👍#(as far as i can tell. again im like 6 episodes in)#whatever anyway im thinking about it and (like always) the breadsword g.urren lagann video essay#and the problems with being a shinji kinnie so to speak. very fun watching this and realizing that about myself#and not Getting Mad. truly i have learned nothing#looking forward to rewatching that after eva though. feel like that'll add to it bc so much of that is a comparison to ttg.l yknow?#anyway#maybe i will get mad someday. i hope so#also i 100% recommend that essay it's one of the best ive ever seen. fucking peak from a peak creator
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