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nemastraea · 1 year ago

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Doormat extraordinaire: Andrew Graves is down horrendous for his own sister | Part 1

Or as I like to call it, actual literal word vomit attempting a proper character analysis!

Here's a link to the AO3 version for archive purposes: The doormat extraordinaire has a bit of a romantic streak,

Content warning: This will heavily feature spoilers from Episodes 1 & 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. Trigger warning: Abuse, cannibalism, child neglect, codependency, harassment, incest, murder, self-harm, and suicide. Disclaimer: I will occasionally reference an extremely normal essay from Sufficient Velocity commenter Leyleyfication (here). It would be a lot easier to read this essay first as Leyleyfication does a pretty good job establishing the following: - Ashley is dependent on Andrew to assure and validate her of her own insecurities, and - The game heavily implies that Andrew wants to fuck his own sister.

Anyway: The Coffin of Andy and Leyley! A game in early access where a pair of siblings are stuck through a seemingly never-ending quarantine together, desperate not to starve to death. When their cultist neighbor dies in a ritual gone wrong, they rationally resort to cannibalism. Fun!

I am definitely going to assume that you read Leyleyfication's extremely normal essay (I am on my knees, begging you to read that). Which is why this essay immediately starts with, "yeah, Andrew definitely wants to fuck his sister" as its baseline.

What I will be adding to that funny little cauldron of fucked up sibling dynamics in a horror visual novel are the following: Andrew's fixation and sexual attraction manifests as his desire to control, dominate, and possess Ashley. And it is framed as a fatalist attraction and the totality of his existence (for worse or even worse).

Because of Tumblr's limit for 30 images per post, though, I'm going to have to split this extremely normal and reasonably lengthy essay into... multiple posts! Yeah! I have no idea how long this will fucking go!

So first things first: how can we tell that Andrew is even attracted to Ashley in the first place?

Nemlei (Devlog 05). Note the hickeys above and below Ashley's choker and her left inner thigh, and Andrew's left hand creeping into her right thigh.

As Leyleyfication points out, the game primes us to believe that Andrew is a pushover and Ashley is his abuser. This occurs in the Steam page as it explicitly says Ashley is "in fact, very bad" and Andrew is a "doormat extraordinaire." Moreover, it's very easy to tell that Ashley is, on some degree, obsessed with Andrew:

She's happy to hear that Julia broke up with Andrew over the phone;

She repeatedly accuses him of finding the Lady from Room 302 attractive and he 'tried anything with her;' and

Her flashback to wanting to punish her friend Nina ("the Bitch in the Box") for crushing on Andrew.

Episode 1, dream and memory. Leyley previously said that Nina should know better than to 'steal from another woman,' referring to herself. The implication that Andy is hers is toyed with after this moment, when she says she'd put Andy back in the box.

The game does prime us to think that Ashley is Andrew's abuser. It also suggests that Ashley projects an unrequited and incestuous love onto Andrew. Before we consider Episode 2's narrative, Episode 1 gives the initial impression that if Andrew comes to reciprocate her feelings, it's more of a reaction and subsuming to her will. That it may not be something he wants for himself and independent of Ashley's manipulation.

But again, I do believe Andrew wants to fuck Ashley. And always has been. He just frequently vacillate between 'subtle' and 'really fucking obvious' tells that completely take advantage of the game's third person limited POV.

Keep in mind that both Andrew and Ashley are extremely unreliable narrators. We aren't going to get information they personally do not care about and that is on top of our own choices as the player.

(A digressive example: you will not learn that the founder and CEO of Toxisoda's company was a former surgeon unless you interact with the television in Andrew's Episode 2 dream and memory of their blood oath. Otherwise, it neatly ties into the surgeon that Mrs. Graves conveniently says she was directed to regarding the siblings' quarantine in the main story.)

When it's really fucking obvious

When you play as Andrew in Episode 2, his post-dinner argument with Ashley carefully frames them both. They are cramped in the foreground and Andrew's left arm is conveniently blocked by Ashley and the kitchen knife, as seen here.

Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, you can interact with Mrs. Graves for her to pointedly comment on the siblings being inseparable.

At this point in the game, their physical closeness is something we're used to by now. After all, we've already seen Ashley on his lap at least twice; Andrew slept in her bed in Episode 1; and Ashley confirmed they've shared the same motel bed multiple times in the one-week interim between Episodes 1 & 2.

But the game abruptly shifts to Mrs. Graves' POV when she enters the scene and not only do we see the two as physically close, but we notice a few more details.

Episode 2, common route. The first picture transitions from Andrew's POV to Mrs. Graves as it introduces us to her entering the scene.

The contrast of how spacious the kitchen is from Mrs. Graves' POV to Andrew's cramped POV is obvious. More importantly, Andrew's fingers loop through Ashley's belt loops when the two are huddled together. When Mrs. Graves clears her throat, the two don't really separate.

Ashley pivots on her left foot so that her body is turned to their mother, not Andrew, but she doesn't step away from him. Andrew, meanwhile, recoils from Ashley and withdraws his hand. But he isn't turning his body to face their mother like Ashley does here. His attention, at least in this moment, is still towards Ashley (and, yanno, the sink).

Episode 2, common route. Two things to consider in the second picture: Andrew hides Ashley's bite mark on his cheek with his left sleeve and he conveniently moves the pillow from behind him to his front.

The 'tell' isn't so much as the two are unusually physically close. Again, we're used to that by now. But it's how the two siblings react whenever Mrs. Graves comes into the picture. Ashley doesn't really give a fuck about whether or not people assume the worst of her or even her intentions regarding Andrew. To Ashley, their proximity is normal and anyone who sees that as a problem is not worth an explanation or reason.

But Andrew is at least subconsciously aware it's 'not normal.' As far as these moments are concerned, Andrew instinctively tries to do damage control by either putting space between them or keeping his hands occupied so they aren't visibly touching Ashley. Still, he either does not mind or actively appreciates his physical closeness with Ashley.

When it's really fucking obvious (but only in hindsight)

In Episode 1, Ashley passes out after trying to clean up after the apartment. Regardless of her passing out in the living room, the bathroom, or their parents' room, she will wake up on the couch with her head pillowed by Andrew's lap.

Episode 1, Ashley's POV. Andrew's hands often hover over Ashley's head, but more than that—

I personally didn't notice this until I replayed Episode 1, when I basically have the hindsight of Andrew's fixation with hair. But yes, his fingers idly twirl through the ends of Ashley's hair as they watch TV. It's implied that Andrew can and will do this when Ashley pillows his lap, awake or asleep. He does not recoil from it when Ashley does wake up and later on, in Episode 2, even continues to brush it from her face.

Episode 2, common route. Ashley fell asleep at the passenger seat, so Andrew had to have transferred her to the back seat to pillow her head again. Though, technically, she's more cramped at the back seat than if he'd just reclined the passenger seat.

So far, we've seen that Andrew has a natural tendency to not only be physically close to Ashley, but to hover over her personal space and be in constant and direct contact with her. Whether it's by having her head on his lap, twirling her hair through his fingers, or even constantly grabbing her by the head in various states of comfort, playfulness, or outright threat (but let's put a pin on that for now).

The weight behind this candid contact shifts when Episode 2 draws a pretty explicit parallel between Julia and Ashley. Assuming that you interacted with Julia's landline and heard Ashley's voicemails, you know (and Andrew knows) that Ashley draws that connection herself:

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to... It's not you he seeks out. It is me.

Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and vision implies that Andrew's heard these voicemails before.

That connection extends to the hair contact as well, as Andrew goes in to hug Julia, cards his hand through her hair and requests she tie her hair up.

Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and memory of Julia when they're older. From the use of Andrew's present-age portrait, suggests is closer to the timeline of the game's events than his and Ashley's memories as Andy and Leyley.

From this moment, we can have one of two assumptions: either Andrew wants Julia's (black) hair put up like Ashley's, or Ashley caught onto Andrew's hair kink and puts her hair up to imitate it.

Regardless, we infer the following:

Andrew teases affection through touching and even pulling on one's hair.

His fixation on ponytails and pulling on them does not exclude his own sister. It still stands and without reservation, perhaps more explicitly since he can do it so candidly, as we saw before.

The last of that Julia-Ashley parallel is self-contained within Episode 2. But only if you end up in the Burial route regardless of Ashley's platonic or incestuous vision.

Episode 2, common route (first picture) and Burial route (second picture). It's worth pointing out that Andrew is actually disinterested and moody during his conversation with Julia, and only perks up when he mentions Ashley or feigns care for Julia (since he extends his care of Ashley to her as well).

The game ends up drawing parallels on how Andrew treats Ashley, for better or for worse, with his ex (which is definitely worse, poor Julia). In doing so, the game blurs the lines between romantic affection for Julia and 'platonic and familial' affection for Ashley.

Y'all, this isn't even getting into how Andrew respectfully gives his parents space and only crowds them when he threatens them with his cleaver. In his mind, Ashley and Julia are in that same space of physical and romantic displays of affection; something he reserves only for them (only without reservation for Ashley) that does not extend to anyone else. His ex-girlfriend, and his sister. Shit's wild.

When it's obvious BUT it's violent!

That isn't to say that his hair fixation (hair kink?) is completely innocuous, though, as it rears its ugly head (pun unintended) in Decay. Which is what that previous pin was for! Yay!

You end up in the Decay route if Ashley doesn't trust Andrew with keeping an eye on their parents. Here, Ashley sleeps on their parents' bed by herself and has an alarming vision: an unknown party chases after her through the in-between and when they catch up to her, it's Andrew. Ashley has nowhere to run and Andrew eventually grabs her and threatens to kill her.

Whether or not Ashley can defend herself depends on Andrew expending all of her gun's ammo when he deals with the hitman, or not. But that outcome divergence will matter much, much later (so that's another pin for us to come back to).

The sequence of events actually mirrors the way the siblings ambush the Lady from Room 302 back in Episode 1. There, Andrew closes in on her and grabs the Lady by her wrist and uses his front to pin and restrain her. With his cleaver to her throat, the Lady is completely at his mercy.

Episode 1 & 2, common route (first picture) and Decay route (second, third, and fourth pictures). Note that Andrew restrains the Lady from Room 302 by the wrist while with Ashley, by her hair.

Andrew asserts control of the person and the situation through violence. Whether it's by killing them (the wardens) or by threatening physical violence (the Lady from Room 302 and Ashley). It's always on the table for him. As Leyleyfication puts it, "He's so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence [here]."

That violence includes Ashley. It's always on the table where Ashley's concerned. The game even juxtaposes when Andrew threatens violence and physical assault 'playfully' versus when he's seriously out for blood:

When you interact with the wall of call girls' numbers and Ashley jokes about leaving her number on the wall, Andrew 'jokingly' threatens to backhand her for even thinking about it.

When you interact with their parents' latched window for a second time, Andrew 'teases' slapping Ashley if she doesn't find a way to open it. (Ashley jokingly asks if it's on her ass or at her face, and assumes it must be the face when Andrew says she'll have to find out.)

The two other times that Andrew exerts violence against Ashley are both in Episode 1 & 2. We can remember when that happens in Episode 1, when Andrew's had it with Ashley's fits and threatens to kill her:

Episode 1, common route. Y'all, Andrew was choking her hard enough for his grip to bruise.

It happens again in Decay when he confronts Ashley about repeatedly calling him Andy and therefore, breaking the promise he coerced her into from Episode 1.

Episode 2, Decay route. Another thing to keep in mind is that Andrew's outburst is preceded by Ashley prodding him about his current state and insisting that Andrew was fine with 'Andy' during their home invasion.

In Episode 1, Andrew resorts to harming Ashley because he's fucking had it with her accusing him repeatedly of trying anything with the Lady from 302 and, in her eyes, his 'infidelity.' Where she accuses Andrew of not loving her enough that if his eye catches another girl, he'd leave her behind or flip on her. In Episode 2, she's poking and prodding on his boundaries on 'Andy' and whether or not, once again, he's with her on their now-committed life of joint crime.

If I can give another example, it happens in Andrew's common route memory of Nina's death and his blood oath with Leyley.

Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, Andy expresses immense exasperation at Leyley's tantrums over him 'thinking about that bitch again.' When he goes to grab the kitchen knife, cleans it, and returns to Leyley on his bed—he's briefly considering killing her.

Andrew threatens Ashley violently whenever he intends to confront her on her perceived brattiness, for lack of a better word. And keep Leyleyfication's essay segment on Ashley's insecurities and need for Andrew's validation in mind here—when Ashley does this, she wants and even needs Andrew to comfort her. But her aggression treads Andrew's patience and really, his tolerance of her behavior.

When Ashley's anger, clinging behavior, insecurities, and possessiveness of Andrew slips his control and tolerance, he resorts to violence to coerce or even dominate her.

I think (or hope, if it's clear enough) it reinforces what Leyleyfication points out:

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don't mean in the sense that I'm saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this.

It also reflects on another aspect of why Andrew resorts to violence: in all three situations, Andrew remarks on Ashley's behavior and her sake. If she acts up again once they're out of the apartment, it'll cause trouble for him while they're evading authorities. If she's going to call him Andy from hereon out, what's the point of running away with her. If she expects him to leverage keeping 'her secret,' he won't because it's for her sake.

Andrew rationalizes his attempt to control of Ashley's behavior as being for her sake. But really, isn't it him confining her behavior to something he can tolerate and personally handle?

I'd also like to point out that Andrew admits that he noticed Ashley push for calling him 'Andy' during the home invasion, and he did not argue with her on it while they held their parents hostage and readied to sacrifice them. We can infer that when Andrew calculates his use of violence, that can also factor when, where, and how he exerts it.

Well, that's where I can reasonably end this half of my word vomit! Now, onwards, to part 2!

#lia's conspiracy board #The Coffin of Andy and Leyley #TCOAAL: Andrew Graves #TCOAAL: Ashley Graves #ship: coffincest #character analysis

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amongsnot · 3 months ago

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template by @/le__lex on twitter!

anyways i want to reread some of my favorite nu fics, so i figured i would do it while simultaneously recommending them at the same time :)

[DISCLAIMER] some of these fics are locked to guests! please keep that in mind when clicking a link :)

The Neutron-Turner Family Memory Book by TheBlossomingFox (teen | oneshot ) : this fic is adorable! it’s an aged up jt fic where the author explores their dynamic as parents. it’s adorable and funny and one of the best slice of life fics i’ve read :)

2. Another Day in the Future by JesterJazz (gen | oneshot ) : this fic is definitely one of the funniest fics i’ve read in this fandom. following jimmy and timmy when they accidentally time travel to the future, landing in the house of their future married selves. it's jimmytimmy focused, but it highlights their friendship and fun bickering really well.

3. twin fantasy by nousernamesorry (teen | 4/? ) : jimmy receives a message telling him that he's needed in space, and he quickly leaves. only, he doesn't come back, and timmy has to learn to heal. i'm going to be completely and fully honest when i say that this is the fic that got me into writing for the nicktoons team. op has a writing style that is incredibly heartwrenching, and the small amount of fluff before the latter chapters completely breaks me everytime i read it.

4. more than cartoons; battle of the bands by anonymous (gen | oneshot) : spongebob squarepants is putting together a band for the annual school contest! with his makeshift team of muscians, he has to beat the syndicate before they win the tournament! this fic is SO fun! it's definitely my favorite of the author's oneshots, and it's amusing and charming and just aljewfwabkfd

5. only have a moment before it's all over (a burning desire that cries again) by whisper_into_my_heart (teen | 14/50 ) : i have to be completely honest, i was REALLY late to the party with this fic!! mpreg (and preg in general) really is not my jam, but i instantly fell in love with op's oc hannah, and the dynamic between the girl andher parents. im not exactly caught up with the story (no spoilers please :3) but i am SO excited to finish the next few chapters and then for the rest of the story to be completed!!

6. We're Perfect Punting Height by CrystalMarbles (teen | drabble ) : this fic is a drabble, but i think it's pretty funny!! it's about the gang having a conversation with each other discussing the syndicates less than evil traits. like plankton's height, or crocker's obsession with finding fairies. definitely a good short funny read!

7. Rewinding the clock by Pastacurls (not rated | 7/? ) : (grabbing onto your shoulders and shaking you) SECOND PERSON!! I LOVE SECOND PERSON. anyways there's barely any three word fics in this fandom that i could find. i know this is hypocritical of me but im going to say it anyways. this fic is my JAM though. amnesiac timmy after his eighteenth birthday, stumbling through the remains of his life as he loses his fairies and his friends. i could talk about this for hours.

8. new phone who dis by rbt_lvr ( teen | 9/? ) : the old fandom is rottmnt. unapologetically. they're technically nicktoons so it counts in my book. plus, this is genuinely my favorite fic that ive read like uh ever. it's a silly chat fic where all of the turtles are gaslighting each other into thinking that they are normal people. donnie makes a mom joke that never fails to make me laugh. leonardo's raised by the gay hippo and worm. they treat lou jitsu like taylor swift fans treat taylor swift. it's absolutely insane. 10/10.

9. lead single by nousernamesorry (teen | 2/2 ) : if nousernamesorry has 100 fans im one of them. if they have 10 fans im one of them. if they have no fans im dead. i love all of their works and every single one makes me swoon. lead single is KIND of cheating with this prompt because most of the setting takes place on a beach. and it's also kind of during the summer. but it's about jimmy and timmy spending their birthday's apart, and the setting makes me wild. like the vending machine intro and the beach ending to the first chapter. like all of that screams summer to me idc idc.

10. The Art of Cooking and Cleaning by AbsoluteFooling (gen | 1/1 ) : GUYS IM SO EXCITED TO SHARE THIS FIC WITH YOU!! i love this fic so muchh oh my god. i had the priviledge of reading it before it was put on ao3 and oh my goddddd. makes me insane. it has spongebob and timmy dynamic (which we need MORE of) and its just. its just glorious i cant explain it in words. its about timmy questioning his self worth, and spongebob helps him. and its OUGH cant even put it into words. please go read it. if theres a fic i want you to read on this list its this one.

11. Are you Satisfied with an Average Life? by Anonymous (not rated | 3/? ) : i was really surprised by the lack of fics with lyrics as their titles... guess ill have to write more in order to continue doing my part. OKAY but this fic is REALLY GOOD. i absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE anything that relates to timmy's amnesia. this fic focuses on the main nicktoons as they help timmy recollect his memory, and timmy immediately hits sbsp in the head with a baseball bat and it is GREAT and the writing style is GREAT and i do think this is a necessary read. i really hope the author updates, but it has been a while, so i'll treasure the chapter's we have!!

12. Bad at Flirting by ShippingMyWorld (teen | 1/1 ) : because im cool and unique and whatever the kids are talking about with that demure stuff the other ship is tigerghost. which i KNOW is cheating considering i wrote a tigerghost fic, but i main jimmytimmy and its important to me that you know that. this fic is a fluffy, silly little fic where danny and manny talk about manny's love for cheap and cheesy pick-up lines (established relationship). shippingmyworld ALSO has a really cool tumblr account AND a bunch of other cool ao3 tigerghost fics so this is my absolutely desperate plea for you to go check them out.

13. but he's got a gun in his hands, and a burden in his heart. by Anonymous (teen | 1/1 ) : hi yes its me hello. totally anonymous user here. why havent you guys yelled at me to make my fic titles shorter omfg that's like an entire essay within itself. it's REALLY hard for me to choose one of my fics, because they all hold a special place in my heart for a different reason, but specifically the ending of this fic makes me break everytime. i won't spoil it but i love the metaphors. anyways this fic is BASICALLY just a bunch of timmy and (sort of) danny whump. check it out if you're interested :D

14. Of Memory Loss and Manipulation by EepyTheSleepy and @c0dydoesntknow (teen | 4/? ) : hello YES this fic is really great and it definiely falls right in line with my other interests. as soon as somebody says timmy amnesia fic i am GONE. the plotline in this fic is great, and the characterization is even BETTER. like you guys need to go support these two because they are amazing people and even amazinger authors!! their story is about the evil nu gang gaslighting timmy into thinking that the og nu gang is evil, which is GREAT because timmy just ends up being really confused the whole time

15. When rain falls, love blooms by 23ster (gen | 1/1 ) : kissing in the rain is SO romantic guys when is some girly gonna come and do it with me? this is a friend to lovers fic by the all time BEST person ever 23ster, and it perfectly conveys the idiots that are our favorite characters jimmy and timmy. from the trope of there is only one bed, to the all best ROOMMATES, and then the romantic yearning love confession(slash argument) in the rain. this fic ruins you, but its so so so great i swear.

16. So... Zinnias? by suluswife (gen | 1/4 ) : guys idk what kind of fics you want from me for this one i gotta be honest,, i love nala and all that he does (and i know the second chapters in production!! it also writes ninjago fics please for the life of me go check them out) and this fic just. IT JUST FITS THE PROMPT!! i read this at 3am!! it has the conversation at midnight and that writing that just FLOWS you know?? it's a platonic jt fic (im trying really hard to find nicktoon fics in general, i pinkie promise) with a soulmate au! jimmy and timmy are both idiots in this, but they have a conversation on the roof while staring at the stars so its a great fic by all standards.

17. best two out of three by dhe20 (gen | 1/1 ) : theyre so funny in this fic i love them so much.. if youve looked at my reblogs you know that i love it when they say just the stupidest shit ever, and this fic DEFINITELY fits the bill. it's so funny it kills me every time! plus the way the author writes converys the battle scene well, and im so happy that this fic has a number in the title so that i could convey my love for it here!

18. Healing Hands by Crossovers_R_Us (teen | 1/1 ) : ough i love this fic. i think my favorite part about this fic is how they act like teenagers?? (and ofc how they love each other but i think that part goes unsaid) it's just. manny is so so so sick and danny is willing to lie with him even if it means getting sick. timmy teases the two of them. there's no life-ending mission it's JUST fluff omg omg. im such a sucker for sickfics because they're SO soft and the author does a great job conveying it with their writing!!

19. It's never too late for you (I told you, you can stay) by FlowersandMiel (gen | 1/1 ) : oh my GOD i read this the other day and like. ough. out of this list there are maybe four that i would truly really beg everyone here to read (2, 3, 10) and this is DEFINITELY one of them. it came out a few days ago but it has so very little attention and idk what to say you just need to read it. like genuinely. like this fic changed my life. like please read it. like now. it's about timmy turner moving in with jimmy neutron and getting sick in the middle of the night, thus prompting him to get jimmy to help. timmy thinks he's in trouble (he's not). GENUINELY if you like well written fics PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check this one out

#nicktoons unite #fic recs #jimmytimmy #turtles #sorry if updates on this list are slow! my family's in the process of moving :)

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antialiasis · 14 days ago

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The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: all of my thoughts (part 1)

All right, this is me, watching my way through my current obsession The Good, the Bad and the Ugly for the umpteenth time and rambling about everything that comes to mind as I go, which ended up with me typing over thirty thousand words because I am incapable of shutting up. Because that is truly excessive, I will be posting my thoughts in three parts; this is part one (covering roughly the first hour and thirteen minutes of the Extended Cut, up through the end of the desert/carriage sequence), and I'll probably post part two in a few days to a week, pending editing and such and some of the other things I should be doing.

Because that's a lot of reading to commit to without knowing what you're getting into, especially if you're here from the tag, here's what to expect in brief:

This is all of my thoughts, simply whatever comes to mind, but my thoughts on fiction tend to be heavy on in-depth analysis of characters, their motivations and how they tick, so a lot of this falls into that general category.

In particular, there will be a whole lot of thoughts on Tuco, Blondie, and their evolving character dynamic, which is my favorite part of the movie. I will not be looking at it through a shippy lens, for what it's worth (romantic shipping is not generally how I personally engage with fiction), but I hope anyone who finds their dynamic compelling in whatever way might still enjoy some of my thoughts on them!

In between, there's also a bunch of other commentary on stuff like the narrative function of scenes (especially on the scenes that were cut in the International Cut of the film and whether the film is better with or without them), directorial or editing or production design or storytelling choices, acting choices, foreshadowing and parallels, as well as some lighter commentary on bits that amuse me or bug me or that I particularly enjoy.

Sometimes I will just be making observations about random things I didn't necessarily notice or pick up on on my first viewing; many of them are probably kind of obvious, but if I didn't pick them up seeing it once, probably there's at least a chance they might be interesting for other people who have only seen it once.

This is not a recap of the movie, but I do try to quote lines or explain bits that I'm commenting on, so hopefully you can follow along if you've seen the movie at all. I don't know how coherent this would be if you haven't seen the movie, but if you choose to read a post like this about a movie you haven't seen anyway, godspeed to you.

Tuco's introduction

The opening scene sure is a microcosm of Sergio Leone's directorial style. Slow, silent close-ups, wide shots, unclear exactly where the scene is going initially, these unnamed characters eventually converge on a saloon -- and then instead of following them inside, Tuco comes crashing through the window and we freeze-frame. It's very drawn out (I had a bit of an "Is the whole movie going to be like this" moment watching it for the first time), but the comic timing of Tuco and the freeze-frame is great; instantly we go from this super slow, dramatic buildup to this fun, humorous subversion that really sets a tone. All that buildup was actually for introducing this guy.

In the process, we learn that 1) Tuco is someone at least three different people want to kill, 2) he's someone skilled and resourceful enough to manage to shoot them first and then make his escape through the window even after being caught unawares during a meal by three people working together, and 3) even in the process of doing that he brings his food with him -- probably actually pretty revealing about his background of poverty, not wanting to waste food when he has it. We'll of course see him introduced further a little later, but this really says a lot for only actually containing about ten silent seconds of him, and also benefits from being funny.

It's kind of amusing how bloodless most gun deaths are in this movie, considering it doesn't shy away from blood in other parts. The surviving bounty hunter does have some blood on his hand as he tries to shoot after Tuco, probably to convey that he's injured despite still being alive, but the others are just cleanly lying there with no signs of damage. Maybe it's paying homage to what other Westerns looked like -- the actual cowboy gunslinging specifically is very idealized, sanitized and almost cartoonish, compared to a lot of the other violence in the film. I remember being a kid and hearing about the trope of people in old Westerns getting shot and dramatically going flying as a result, despite that normal bullets are far too small for their momentum to send a person flying anywhere -- you don't actually see too much of that in modern movies, where everything tends to look much more realistic, but this movie definitely has a lot of very dramatic flailing and spinning around when people get shot in a way that looks pretty distinctly silly and cartoony today. Ultimately it meshes pretty well with the overall tone of the film, though; this movie is gritty in many respects, but it does not aspire to realism.

Angel Eyes' introduction

The way Angel Eyes just silently waltzes into Stevens' home and helps himself to some of his food while maintaining eye contact the whole time is so weird and uncomfortable, it's delightful. What an entrance.

Stevens has a limp. People who have fought in the war tend to be visibly scarred by it in this movie -- truly something that just permeates every background detail, that you don't really think about on a first viewing when you think the Civil War is just a setting backdrop.

There is zero dialogue in this film until more than ten and a half minutes in (though the first three minutes of that are the opening credits, so it's seven and a half minutes of actual movie with no dialogue). I think this is a very fun choice which contributes to the viewer really feeling how unbearable the silence is for Stevens by the time he starts asking Angel Eyes if Baker sent him - half of that silence wasn't even technically part of this scene, but it really intensifies it by making the silence here feel even longer than it is.

When Stevens says, "I know nothing at all about that case of coins!", Angel Eyes looks up with interest from where he'd been casually looking at his food. Evidently he had had no idea there was any case of coins involved, only that he was meant to collect a name, but once Stevens mentions it, his interest is piqued.

Angel Eyes casually offers, "Well, Jackson was here, or Baker's got it all wrong," while cutting off and eating a piece of bread with a large knife, sort of implicitly daring Stevens to try to say Baker's got it all wrong and see what happens. When he's got Tuco captured later, Angel Eyes does a similar thing of staying friendly-threatening as he casually asks questions, but once Tuco actually refuses to talk of his own accord, out come the claws. This time, though, Stevens does not take the bait, probably sensing that that would lead nowhere good for him.

He says, "Maybe Baker would like to know just what you and Jackson had to say about the cash box" -- this isn't the info he came for, but maybe Baker would be interested. Really it's Angel Eyes himself who is intrigued -- he'll go on to tell Baker that that's my bit. But he doesn't really bother pushing Stevens for it, instead moving on to admitting he's being paid for the name specifically. Probably he figures once he gets the name, he'll have all the info he needs to track him down anyway by his usual means (which it turns out he does).

The casual, grinning confidence of Angel Eyes' assertion that if Jackson weren't going by an alias he would've found him already, "That's why they pay me," really makes you believe it, doesn't it. It's exposition about what Angel Eyes does, but is also executed to work as a nice character-establishing moment about his competence.

Christopher Frayling's otherwise fun and informative commentary on the film talked about how Angel Eyes' missing fingertip was provided by a hand double in the final truel -- but you can see in this scene that Lee van Cleef's own right hand is definitely missing that fingertip (though I did not notice it at all until I thought to specifically look for it). Very curious where the notion of a hand double came from -- he even named a specific guy.

Angel Eyes casually announces that when he's paid, he always sees the job through, even though that's just going to make Stevens desperate -- Angel Eyes knows he can shoot first, no big deal.

He shoots Stevens through the table and the food, even. How does he aim.

Angel Eyes grabs his gun and turns around to shoot Stevens' son before he actually comes into view (specifically, we see him start to react to something about ten frames before we can first see the tip of the son's rifle). Presumably, in-universe, he heard him coming, but we don't hear him coming at all over the blaring background chord, so it feels like Angel Eyes just knows he's coming by some sixth sense. Very effective at making him seem even more threatening, especially since there's also generally a conscious decision in this movie to act as if the characters can't see anything that's out of frame for the viewer -- Blondie and Tuco get caught out by that rule a couple of times in amusing ways, but Angel Eyes actively defies the auditory equivalent.

(It's neat how the family photo, used for Angel Eyes obliquely threatening Stevens' family, also serves as foreshadowing for the fact he also has this second, older son we hadn't seen yet at that point.)

The fact Angel Eyes sneaks into Baker's bedroom when he's sleeping to report back is so extra. A normal person would just arrange to meet him the next morning, but no, Angel Eyes does the creepy stalker thing. Probably makes the murdering him in his bed bit a little easier, though, which also suggests he was definitely intending on that bit the whole time and didn't just "almost forget".

Baker's brow furrows and his eyes shift uncomfortably when Angel Eyes mentions the cash box; clearly he was hoping Angel Eyes would never find out about that bit (very reasonably, given what happens next).

All in all, Angel Eyes' introduction is super striking. The casual veneer and smug grins painted over a deeply tense sense of threat; the absolute deadly confidence; the fact he shoots Stevens' son too so easily and presciently, almost as a footnote to it all; casually walking out with the money that Stevens offered him for sparing his life; and then, on the ostensible basis that when he's paid he always sees the job through, casually killing Baker too.

Although he explains the murder of Baker as simply seeing the job through, though, Stevens didn't actually ask him to kill Baker; all he ever suggested he wanted was to be left alone, and all he said about the money was that it's a thousand dollars, after asking what Angel Eyes was being paid for murdering him. I expect Angel Eyes simply chooses to take it as payment for the 'job' of killing Baker for motivated reasons; that way, he can act as if the money is still 'payment' for him even though he rejected Stevens' attempt to bribe him, and it's much easier to go after the cash box himself if Baker's out of the picture, after all.

This creates an interesting ironic sense that while Angel Eyes effectively presents his own introduction as being all about his unassailable professional principles about always performing the job he's been paid for, and I took him at his word on my first viewing, he's not really all about those principles at all -- and as the movie goes on, indeed, he's simply pursuing the cash box for his own reasons rather than because anyone's paying him for it. His 'professional principles' don't come up again, because that's not really what this intro was telling us at all.

Which isn't to say he doesn't always see a job through after being paid (I can definitely believe that; if he has a reputation for getting the job done no matter what, that makes people more likely to pay him in the future, and he sure has no qualms about completing any job), just that that's not at all the main thing driving his character, as you might initially assume. The thing his intro is really telling us about him is that he's ruthless, terrifying, extremely competent, very interested in this cash box, and has absolutely no trouble casually murdering whoever might be standing in the way of accomplishing what he wants. And I think it's very effective at showing that.

Blondie's introduction

This scene opens with Tuco on a galloping horse in a way that naturally invites the viewer to assume this is following directly from when he flees from the saloon in his intro, and that's what I assumed on my first viewing -- but nah, not only does he not have the food and drink, he's wearing different clothing. Given the surviving bounty hunter from the intro will be appearing later and indicating that was eight months ago, and this is decidedly the most obvious place for the bulk of the timeskip to be happening, probably this is actually several months later. This film is not at all big on time indicators -- for the most part, we have no idea how much time is passing, everything feels like it's happening pretty much in sequence, and we can only vaguely infer that there must be longer gaps between particular events.

The straight-up photograph on Tuco's wanted poster is pretty hilarious. There's even a scene later with a little gag about the long exposure times for photographs at the time. Probably this is just a funny prop for two scenes to make it very obvious to the viewer that it is absolutely him on the wanted poster even as he adamantly denies it, but it's also very funny to imagine Tuco patiently posing for his own wanted poster.

Framing through it, all three of the bounty hunters surrounding Tuco when Blondie comes along are in fact going for their guns when Blondie shoots them, which makes sense -- for all that Blondie is not much of a noble hero, he generally does not tend to shoot people until they're at least starting to draw on him. (There's one notable exception, which will come up in part two.)

I enjoy Tuco's weird little nervous, disbelieving grin as he realizes this stranger just shot the bounty hunters but is sparing him. Tuco's own worldview, as shaped by his background, is dominated by self-interest; it's every man for himself, and it's up to him to do whatever it takes, tell whatever lies, betray whoever he has to, to get ahead. And yet, there's this endearing naïveté to him, where he's not really suspicious of other people's motives accordingly -- he's surprised Blondie would save him, but his brain doesn't immediately go to this guy just wants to be the one to collect my bounty. We see this a lot throughout the film.

We cut (with great comic timing) from Blondie sticking a cigar in Tuco's mouth to Tuco spitting out a cigar while tied up on his horse as Blondie takes him into town -- an edit that suggests continuity, like only a short time has passed and it's the same cigar that he just hadn't had the chance to spit out yet (sort of dubious if you really think about it, since surely it would've taken a bit for Blondie to tie him up and get him onto his horse). This reinforces our initial assumptions about what's happening, where Blondie would just have tied him up before riding straight into town, but given the con they turn out to be running, there must have actually been an offscreen conversation about it and the cigar is there as a bit of cheeky misdirection for the audience.

(It probably makes sense that when Blondie put the cigar in his mouth, he was actually about to propose they run this bounty scheme together -- as the movie proceeds, we see that Blondie generally shares cigars in more of a friendly sort of way, after all.)

"I hope you end up in a graveyard!" yells Tuco. They sure do all end up in a graveyard! This is some very cheeky foreshadowing and I love it.

Tuco yelling ineffectual threats about how Blondie can still save himself by letting him go, while actually tied up and completely at his mercy, is just extremely Tuco.

Then he shifts tack very abruptly to saying he feels sick and needs water, only to then spit in Blondie's face. Later he furiously calls the deputy a bastard just for walking out of a building, only to then immediately shift to saying he's just an honest farmer who didn't do anything wrong. Tuco often does this, shifting from one approach to the next in a way that makes it really obvious he's bullshitting, but he keeps doing this, just throwing shit at the wall to see if anything sticks, even when this is counterproductive to the whole effort. He is presumably playing it up a bit here, but it's still in its own way pretty representative of who he is and what he's actually like. He's so characterful.

"Who says so? You can't even read!" says Tuco about whether it's him on the wanted poster, which is some delightful nonsense hypocrisy/projection given we will later see that Tuco himself can only barely read. I love him. (And why would reading even have anything to do with it; he's obviously looking at the plain actual photograph of him right there. Love Tuco's absolute nonsense.)

Another absurd change of tactics: "Hey, everybody, look, look! He's giving him the filthy money!" - as if he's going to rally onlookers against the sheriff and Blondie somehow on the basis that money is exchanging hands, isn't that suspicious.

Tuco calls Blondie Judas for accepting the money (referencing the thirty pieces of silver, of course), which will get a fun echo later.

"You're the son of a thousand fathers, all bastards like you!" I love that Tuco has invented compounding recursive bastardry just for Blondie. Not only is he a bastard, all one thousand men his mother slept with were also bastards. Glorious. (You can see Blondie's amused by this one; he actually smiles a little bit before throwing a match at him.)

I wonder if Blondie actively encouraged him to go quite this hard on the insults, to make them look less associated, or if he just did this. One would think it would be risky, on Tuco's end, to be this over the top in literally spitting in the face of the guy who could just let him hang if he happened to change his mind -- but then again, Tuco genuinely doesn't expect Blondie to double-cross him.

Tuco's crimes, as of this first hanging, are: murder; armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices; the theft of sacred objects; arson in a state prison; perjury; bigamy; deserting his wife and children; inciting prostitution; kidnapping; extortion; receiving stolen goods; selling stolen goods; passing counterfeit money; and, contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards and loaded dice! All this paints a picture of a pretty colorful backstory, but most of it is relatively petty; other than the murder (possibly of people like the bounty hunters we saw him dispose of in the opening), we can gather he's been scrounging up money through anything from cheating at cards up to armed robbery and kidnapping, he lied under oath (checks out), he set a prison on fire (presumably to escape), he ran off from his wife and kids and then married someone else he presumably also ran off from, and then there's "inciting prostitution" which I'm guessing means offering someone not previously engaged in sex work money for sex.

It obviously checks out that he'd do anything for money, and bigamy and deserting his wife and children rhyme with his off-hand mention at the monastery later that he's had lots of wives here and there; in general, it tracks that he would make big commitments and then just break them. So all in all, these seem like probably a bunch of genuine crimes that he actually committed. (He also nods somewhat smugly at the marked cards and loaded dice bit.)

Blondie's MO seems to be to first shoot the whip out of the hand of the guy who's meant to be setting the horse off and then shoot the actual rope (and then random attendees' hats, for good measure). Better hope that first shot doesn't spook the horse.

It really is very reasonable of Tuco to want a bigger cut for being the one running the risks; you wouldn't generally want to do a job with a significant chance of getting you killed without being very well compensated for that. Unfortunately, Blondie doing the cutting means he's the one with all the power here -- if he's dissatisfied with his share, he can just pocket all the money and let Tuco die -- which puts him at the advantage in the negotiation, and he knows it.

I enjoy how in the middle of "If we cut down my percentage, it's liable to interfere with my aim," Blondie offers Tuco a cigar, this casual friendly move in the middle of what is effectively a threat.

Tuco does a little understated, "Hmm," of acknowledgement that makes it feel like this was genuinely unexpected. But then he just returns the threat: "But if you miss, you had better miss very well. Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he understands nothing about Tuco." Which sets up his quest for revenge on Blondie after the double-cross, obviously, but is also fun to recall during the final scene: Tuco actively advised Blondie not to leave him alive if he was going to double-cross him.

Tuco why are you eating the cigar

Next time he's in the noose, it's for a whole new list of crimes that ends with, "For all these crimes, the accused has made a full, spontaneous confession." Yeah, he probably just went off spewing confessions to a string of colorful invented offenses as Blondie brought him in, didn't he, maybe hoping it would raise the bounty. (At the cinematic screening where I saw it for the first time, I missed the spontaneous confession thing due to no subtitles and spent half the movie experiencing some jarring mental dissonance over Tuco's growing goofy likability versus the offhandedly having been convicted of multiple rapes near the start thing. But it's actually pretty strongly telegraphed that the new crimes here are simply bullshit; a spontaneous confession to a variety of new things that were decidedly not on the earlier list, that he could not possibly have done in the implied presumably not very long timespan between the first and second hanging, mostly distinctly more dramatic crimes than the original set, all sounds strongly like a Tuco throwing shit at the wall thing.)

Tuco looks a lot more restless during the second hanging, where for the first one he was pretty calm -- probably a little bit nervous about Blondie's "liable to interfere with my aim" remark, even though they'd presumably come to an agreement to stick with the 50/50 split.

He notices a woman being scandalized, seems sort of put out for a second, but then growls at her to scare her more. What a Tuco.

Another minor character presumably disabled in the war: Angel Eyes' incidentally legless informant. (Whom he calls Shorty, like the guy Blondie teams up with later, who is definitely a different guy because that guy has legs -- sort of a funny aversion of the usual one Steve limit. Genuinely a bit puzzled by why they did that -- is it like that in the Italian version or just the English dub?) I wonder if the bit where he moves around by holding a couple of bricks and using them to walk on is something inspired by a real person or people at the time.

Calling him a 'half-soldier' is pretty rude, Angel Eyes.

Look, I'll accept that we're calling Blondie Blondie, sounds like that's what you'd call him in Italy, but there's really no excuse for "A golden-haired angel watches over him." The man's hair is brown. It's not even a light brown. What are you talking about, Angel Eyes.

But to not get too distracted by that part of the line: Angel Eyes obviously recognizes the con they're running. I think that's probably because he knows of Blondie and that this is a thing he does (he's presumably done it with others before), so when he notices Blondie's around at a hanging, he's like ah, yes, there's him doing his thing, guess he's running with Tuco now. My own feeling is Blondie and Angel Eyes basically only know of each other, though -- no direct evidence they're not more familiar or anything, but they don't really act like they have a personal history, I think, compared to Tuco and Angel Eyes who obviously do.

After the threat about a pay cut being liable to interfere with his aim, I originally figured Blondie missing the rope (or rather, it seems to have grazed but not severed it) might have been deliberate, meant to scare Tuco a bit and make him think twice about proposing that again. But ultimately, on a closer look, I'm pretty sure he really did just miss, both because his expressions and body language feel more in line with that and because Tuco's rant after they escape indicates that Blondie's explanation to him was that anyone can miss a shot -- if it was meant as a warning, probably he wouldn't then go on to actively make it sound like he'd just happened to miss.

(That line also indicates it probably wasn't that he did hit it dead-on but the rope was just sturdier than expected -- if Blondie said anyone can miss a shot, that sounds like he at least believes it's because he missed, and I don't see any sensible reason he would lie about that here.)

That said, I think it's fun to imagine that the reason for the miss was that that discussion really did interfere with his aim -- that little bit of tension with Tuco led to him being a little careless this time, even though he didn't mean to miss and thought he had it.

The thing that actually prompts Blondie to stop and leave Tuco is Tuco's rant about how nobody misses when I'm at the end of the rope and When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the devil bite your ass. For all that he explains it as being about how there's no future in this with a guy who'll never be worth more than $3000, there's a specific point where he stops his horse and decides to ditch him, and it's when Tuco's complaining turns into guilting him about missing and the experience of being on the other end. Blondie will not be guilted and does not want or need this; just going to ditch him and wash his hands of him and find somebody else. I get the sense that Blondie doesn't really want to think about that miss too hard, at this point, and Tuco won't leave him alone about it, and so he leaves him.

More echoes in Blondie and Tuco's relationship: Blondie specifically says, "Adios," when leaving Tuco in the desert, which Tuco will say back to him at the inn.

Tuco's reaction, once again throwing shit at the wall, goes from insults to angrily ordering him to cut the rope off and get off the horse (as if he has any power to make him do anything, standing there unarmed with his hands tied), to a series of hilariously off-the-wall threats ("I'll hang you up by your thumbs!"), to disbelief/desperation: "Wait a minute, this is only a trick! You wouldn't leave me here! Come back! Wait! Blondie! Listen, Blondie!" before the final ¡Hijo de una gran putaaaa! The last couple stages once again get echoed in the final scene. I enjoy the "You wouldn't" - Blondie's supposed to be better than this, even after he'd threatened his aim might suffer if he got less money. They were supposed to be friends, damn it! (Tuco really wants to believe that people actually like him, and often chooses to live in the world in which they do.)

I truly love the fact Blondie gets the freeze-frame and onscreen caption of "the good" just after ironically admonishing Tuco for his ingratitude after Blondie has double-crossed him, taken the money they were going to split, and left him in the desert with this hands tied. As I wrote in the post with my initial impressions on the movie, this is the most uncalled for, mean-spirited thing he does in the entire movie, and getting the caption right here makes it really drip with irony, which is exactly the right thing to do with it, compared to if they'd put it earlier when it might have looked like it was meant to be played straight. There's no gallant hero here, only this guy, who is kind of a bastard. Blondie genuinely grows to deserve the title more as we go on, and that's one of the fun things about the movie, but we have established that the base point is low.

Blondie's intro tells us a number of things: he's a very good shot, casually confident, silent and stoic and unruffled by most anything, happy to be a conman ripping off bounties by bringing in criminals and then freeing them again to repeat the same scheme elsewhere, willing to make oblique threats to get his way and to shoot first when anyone seems about to pull a gun on him, and enough of a bastard to leave Tuco behind in the desert. But he's definitely the most enigmatic of the three main characters; he doesn't talk or emote much, leaving exactly what's going on in his head pretty vague and open to interpretation, even as some of his actions are pretty striking and interesting. This has nerdsniped me, because I enjoy thinking about what's going on in characters' heads; please be prepared for an excessive amount of analysis of what might be going through his mind in almost every scene he's in.

Angel Eyes and Maria

The choice to open this scene with Maria getting thrown off a carriage with a bunch of drunk Confederates and the choked-up yell of "You filthy rats!" after them is probably largely just to get across the suggestion that she's a prostitute, making it easier to connect that she's the one Angel Eyes' informant told him about. But I appreciate that it gives her a little bit of a tragic existence outside the confines of the plot and makes her sympathetic even before Angel Eyes starts beating on her. (A secondary purpose for this is also probably to show some Confederate soldiers just being assholes; the film makes a point of featuring both sympathetic and asshole moments from both sides of the Civil War.)

Like with Stevens, while Angel Eyes makes his presence very threatening, he starts off nonviolently (well, relatively; the way he pulls her inside is not exactly gentle), just telling her to go on talking about Bill Carson -- but when she refuses to volunteer any information and just says she doesn't know him, the claws come out instantly. There's none of the veneer of casual friendliness he had with Stevens, though, just an intensely scary stare and threatening demands. (The scare chord playing in the background doesn't help.) All in all, Angel Eyes was already terrifying but he is even more so in this scene.

I do also appreciate that while the interrogation is brutal and deeply uncomfortable and thick with the danger of sexual violence, it does not go there -- he's physically but not sexually violent, he's only interested in the information, and once he has it, we see him just leave. This is a completely sexless film, and I think we're all very lucky for that; it's one reason The Good, the Bad and the Ugly has aged relatively well, compared to for instance some of Sergio Leone's other films. (That's not to say I have anything against portrayals of sexuality or even sexual violence in media in principle, but I've gotten the sense that back in the sixties, media that did portray it tended to be profoundly weird about it.)

Tuco returns to town

We don't get to see Tuco suffering in the desert, only making his way across the rope bridge and then stumbling toward the well and finally indulging, but I think it does get across that this was an ordeal for him, and that becomes easier to appreciate on a rewatch, after seeing Blondie go through it later. Tuco's skin has fared a lot better than Blondie's, but his lips are pretty cracked.

The gun seller looks so proud of his little selection of revolvers and is so eager to please him by showing him more. It's painful how long he keeps trying to be helpful in selling him a gun even when Tuco just grabs the bottle of wine out of his hands and dismantles half of his guns to put together a custom revolver. And then Tuco just uses the gun, with a cartridge the owner gave him, to rob him of the money he has in the till, oof.

Man, those targets just casually in the shape of Native Americans.

Sergio Leone just has a thing for characters shoving something in somebody else's mouth unbidden, doesn't he. Blondie sticks his cigar in Tuco's mouth during his intro, then Tuco puts the sign in the shopkeeper's mouth, and then it happens very memorably in Once Upon a Time in the West as well. I forget if it's in A Fistful of Dollars or For a Few Dollars More, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised.

The gun store scene is theoretically skippable (Christopher Frayling's commentary indicated it was cut in British prints of the film, though I gather it survived in the US cut), but it's pretty fun in its audacity, and is also doing some good setup work for Tuco's character. So far, apart from his intro suggesting some degree of scrappy ability to shoot before he gets shot, he's been shown in a pretty ineffectual light, getting ambushed and captured and raging helplessly with his hands tied. But here we get to see that Tuco really knows his way around guns and has implausible trick-shooting skills to rival Blondie's -- and, of course, that he really is an unrepentant bandit who thinks nothing of doing this when he wants a gun and some money, lest we were left too sympathetic to him when Blondie left him.

The cave

Tuco presumably bought the chicken with some of the $200 he robbed from the gun store; he presents it like having a single chicken by itself is amazing riches. Does say a lot.

I enjoy his very blatant talking to himself about how oh, he's so lonely, but he's rich, wonder where his friends are now. He clearly figures that Pedro/Chico/Ramon are there listening and just avoiding him. He talks like they were such great friends, but somehow the fact they don't come out until he starts loudly talking about how if only they were there he'd give them $1000 each doesn't make it seem like they ever had a relationship that went much beyond assisting each other in committing crimes to their mutual advantage -- and Tuco clearly in fact knows this, since he knows exactly what line to go for to lure them out. (But no, Tuco definitely has great friends, because he is a cool and well-liked dude who has definitely made good choices in life.)

I've seen people online suggesting that Blondie and Tuco ran their scam a lot more often than the two times we actually see, but this scene seems to make it explicit that they only did it exactly those two times: Tuco specifically indicates Blondie has $4000, which is simply equal to half of the first $2000 bounty that they split plus the entire $3000 bounty for the second time that he kept for himself.

This is one of the scenes added in the Extended Cut, despite having been cut even from the Italian version of the movie after its original Rome premiere. The primary ostensible purpose of it is just to establish where Pedro/Chico/Ramon came from (the featurette on the restoration makes it explicit that the guy overseeing the Extended Cut, John Kirk, just thought it was a plot hole and decided to reinsert the scene when he discovered it existed because of that, despite Sergio Leone himself having decided to cut it for pacing reasons). It is true I think I would probably ask myself some questions about Tuco's buddies if I'd seen a cut without it; Tuco's seemed like a lone wolf so far, and without it there's no indication at all of who these guys are or why they're working for/with him for this.

On the other hand, the scene kind of sets them up as if they're a lot more important than they are, and its internal coherence feels a little off: them only coming out when Tuco tempts them with money, despite that Tuco's been there for a bit talking at them about what good friends they were, actively suggests they don't actually like or trust him (which makes good sense!), but then it also has this dialogue about how they thought he'd been killed, which feels as if it's randomly offering up an unnecessary and somewhat contradictory second explanation for why we haven't seen them with him up to this point. The bit about them thinking he was dead doesn't actually connect to anything and seems to give undue weight and improperly conserved detail to Tuco's relationship with these guys, who are ultimately just some throwaway goons that exist in one scene before dying and never being mentioned again. I think probably the movie is actually better off without this scene, as Sergio Leone apparently concluded himself.

The inn

More of the war in the background -- this time with the innkeeper privately opining about how those rebels are cowards and it'll be better when the Yankees have beaten them as the Confederate army retreats out of the town, only to then yell "Hurray for Dixie!" as they're passing by. Not the only character in this movie who just pretends to support whichever army he's currently looking at. (We see more injured soldiers in the background here.)

Love the tension of the buildup here. Blondie's gun lying dismantled on the table at the start, the brothers approaching in the midst of all the noise, the close-up of Blondie's hand freezing and eyes narrowing at the clink in the sudden silence, straining to hear as there's nothing (the fact it stopped when the army did actively suggests someone's trying to be sneaky), then frantically loading the revolver with a second-third-fourth bullet as the background noise restarts and then juuuust managing to finish and shoot the three of them in rapid succession as they burst in. These silent close-up shots of his hands and eyes also deliver a rare moment of tangible alarm from Blondie; he's legitimately scared for a bit there and you can feel it, which is greatly appreciated from a character who spends most of the movie being stoic and enigmatic.

Enjoy Blondie choosing to explain how he knew they were coming by going, "Your spurs," just before firing the final shot (just giving this guy a little tip about where he messed up before killing him, as you do), but also I deeply enjoy that him firing that last smug bullet, which he probably didn't really need to when the guy was collapsing anyway, leaves him defenseless when Tuco draws attention to himself at the window. Blondie is very smart and competent, we've just watched him survive three people sneaking up on him while he's cleaning his gun because he managed to notice the tiny sound of a clinking spur and put together what it meant and load his gun in time, but then he makes this near-fatal mistake by getting a little too cocky about it, and that's definitely tastier than if he'd obviously needed all his bullets there.

I have seen it suggested that Tuco intentionally used the brothers as cannon fodder here, but I'm not sure the movie necessarily suggests that; presumably the idea was for them to successfully sneak up on Blondie and catch him completely unawares without the unexpected silence exposing the rogue spur clink, which wouldn't have had to involve any of them getting killed (heck, if they'd happened to be just a little earlier, Blondie would've still been in the middle of cleaning his gun). Tuco and the others had clearly talked about their approach ahead of time, so they were perfectly aware that they'd be going up there by the door and Tuco would be coming in by the window and presumably thought that sounded like a good plan. And we have no idea exactly at what point Tuco managed to make his way in, so we don't have any indication either way on whether he theoretically could have intervened to save them in some manner -- my first assumption would be he got in after Blondie had stood up, which is after he shot them. Sneaking up on him from two different directions makes sense either way. I wouldn't necessarily put it past Tuco to figure the brothers will probably get killed and do it anyway, but I don't think we can say that for sure.

Either way, I enjoy Tuco doing his quick little sign of the cross when he says "Those that come in by the door." He did in fact just get them killed by bringing them here, and while he's not going to say anything about that to Blondie, it shows him acknowledging it in a small way. Tuco's religiosity is a great little character trait that has no impact on the plot but just adds more color and dimension to him as a character -- it adds a really fun bit of visual irony to punctuate some of his various decidedly un-Christian actions, and it has a rich sense of being rooted in his background given his family was presumably religious.

Blondie's shrugging, "It's empty," feels like he's initially kind of expecting them to just talk: he takes Tuco wanting him to remove the pistol belt as a practical thing, just telling him to remove his weapon so he can put his away, and so Blondie removes it but tells him that's not really necessary because he can't shoot him anyway. Tuco could have shot him already if he were here to kill him, right? He probably expects, initially, that Tuco is just here to get his half of the money, or possibly all of it.

Instead, Tuco responds with, "Mine isn't" -- he's deadly serious and he's not putting his gun away at all.

"Even when Judas hanged himself there was a storm, too." There's Judas again! Tuco originally called Blondie that while playing it up for the scam, but as far as he's concerned now, it's true actually. Love the furious energy of him sitting there having found this Biblical parallel and decided this is the specific revenge he wants on this guy and bringing a noose to arrange that. Blondie's never had a rope around his neck, never felt the devil bite his ass? Well, now he will. And he'll make him do it himself, because Judas hanged himself.

Blondie warily (and correctly) suggests the 'storm' is actually cannon fire -- because he decidedly does not want to be anywhere near the war, and by the time cannons are getting fired in the vicinity, he thinks they should probably be getting the hell out of there, and if Tuco agrees, then perhaps pointing that out is a ticket out of this pretty alarming situation he has found himself in. But Tuco, of course, is not really interested in entertaining that just when he has Blondie right where he wants him. He's going to hang him right here if it's the last thing he does.

Blondie goes along with it, slowly, silently, looking kind of wary and skeptical more than anything. When I was first watching this movie, I kept expecting him to do something, to distract him in some clever way and then lunge at him to disarm him or something, like you'd usually expect the main character to do in an action movie. But the thing is that's just not how Blondie operates. He doesn't do bold risky action-hero feats. He can absolutely shoot a gun with the best of them, but he has no particular physical skills, never even throws a punch in this whole movie unless you count the backhand slap on the tied-up Tuco earlier; when unarmed, all he's really got is his brains. Blondie gets by on being smart and careful and analytical. When Blondie finds a gun pointed at him, and has no leverage over the other guy, he will do what he's told, make no sudden movements, and wait until he sees some kind of actual opening, because otherwise he's just going to get shot. He buys what little time he can going along with the hanging while his brain silently whirs away evaluating his options for how he can get out of this, and that's about it for what he can do.

What are his options? He doesn't have a lot. Tuco is standing too far away to reach before he shoots but too close to realistically miss, never takes his eyes off him for more than a second, keeps his gun pointed squarely at him. It wouldn't be hard for him to get out of the noose -- it's a big noose, he's barely in it, his hands are free. But if he did, Tuco would presumably just shoot him instead. Probably his best chance, once Tuco says he's going to shoot the legs off the stool, is to try to make a move just when he fires, slip out of the noose and then probably make some kind of last-ditch attempt to overpower him before he's ready to shoot again, and I imagine Blondie was getting ready to attempt just that before they were interrupted. But even then, it's very questionable whether he could have actually escaped like that. All in all, things are looing pretty dicey for him by the time the rogue cannonball comes to his rescue -- but once it does, he's out of there fast, grabbing his chance now he's got it.

Either way, as little as he gives away as it's happening, Blondie's genuinely staring death in the face here for this whole sequence, and this experience clearly left enough of an impression on him for him to make a point of turning this specifically back on Tuco in the final scene, even though Tuco's going to torment him in a much more extended and agonizing way in the desert, so I'm enjoying the quiet implication there.

The cannonball is kind of interesting because this is absolutely a textbook deus ex machina. Usually I like the rule that a contrived coincidence can get the characters into a situation but ideally not out of it. This is definitely getting Blondie out of a situation, and definitely has that sense of being a little unsatisfying as the answer to how's he going to get out of this one. And yet, the fact Blondie really was helpless to do much about it is kind of the point here. If Blondie had actually won out in this encounter, it wouldn't have nearly the same meaning when he finally ends up turning the situation around in the desert, nor when he tells Tuco to get in the noose at the end -- narratively, we need this to be an instance of Tuco beating out Blondie and then toying with him for it to have the right impact, and hence, since he can't actually die here, he needs to get out without winning.

(It does also help a bit that the ongoing cannon fire was already set up and established, even if it just happening to hit the building is purely coincidental.)

Being saved by a cannonball, of course, is again the constant insistent presence of the war in the background, now coming into the characters' lives just a bit more directly.

Meanwhile, Tuco in this scene, man. He is finally the one in the position of power, just relishing having control and being able to order Blondie to do things and have him actually do them and the grim sense of justice in seeing him be the one in a noose for once. Cheerful lines like, "It's too big for your neck, huh? We fix that right away." Grinning as he explains that he'll shoot the legs off the stool. But then when it comes to actually doing it… he takes an extra breath, with this kind of hesitant expression on his face, before echoing Blondie's "Adios." As he points the gun, it's shaking a bit. Tuco doesn't feel totally right here and I love it a lot.

Tuco does absolutely want to see Blondie suffer right now -- we're about to see him chase him down again so he can torture him in an even more drawn-out and awful way, after all. But once he actually kills him it'll all be over, and he just goes back to his usual shitty bandit life, one more person that he'd once thought was a friend gone. This has been a couple of minutes of mildly satisfying catharsis, but not totally satisfying, too brief, too easy -- and there's probably some basic squirm of empathy there, when he's been in that position, can vividly remember the squeeze of the rope -- but the bastard deserves this for betraying him, so he's doing it anyway.

All in all, this is possibly the scene I have rewatched the most. This is significantly because I happen to have a big dopamine whump button in my brain labeled 'HANGINGS', but it's also just a sequence of masterful tension leading up to this delightfully twisted, tense and thoroughly loaded character interaction following on the previous scenes between Tuco and Blondie in fun specific ways that build up to even more fun things later. What a character dynamic.

The fort

I don't have too much to say about this one. It's a very impressive set, the war is brutal, the sarcasm of the Confederate captain Angel Eyes talks to and the ease of bribing him with some booze is nice foreshadowing and a parallel for the poor Union captain Blondie and Tuco will meet, but ultimately this scene is mostly about filling in how Angel Eyes learns about Batterville. (Or is it Betterville? The subtitles say Batterville and that's what it sounds like everyone's saying, but Christopher Frayling and the subtitles on him say Betterville.) This is a restored scene in the Extended Cut, which exists in the Italian version but was cut from the International Cut.

Angel Eyes pauses and swallows looking at the injured soldiers and later lets the captain keep the booze he brought, vaguely suggesting a glimmer of sympathy for their plight, which is sort of interesting but also a little divorced from the rest of the movie. Villains having different sides to them is neat, but I don't think we get a great sense of why Angel Eyes would be sympathetic to these men but also treat the prisoners at Batterville -- who are soldiers from the Confederate army just like these ones -- how he does later with zero remorse, so I'm not sure this is actually doing much for the movie on a character level in the end, and if anything may be a little counterproductive to the kind of extremely cold-blooded villain that Angel Eyes is otherwise set up to be.

I suppose the idea might be that Angel Eyes is theoretically capable of sympathy, but also capable of simply discarding it the moment it's useful to him. Alternatively, the idea could be that at the moment he feels in some sense that if the war catches up with him he could be in these soldiers' place, but then he goes on to enlist with the Union army to get into Batterville, at which point he's on the winning side so who cares. Angel Eyes does display nerves later at the truel, once he's in a situation he's not in control of where he might very well die, so maybe it checks out that while he feels not totally secure in not winding up like these men himself, their grim conditions get to him a bit.

I do think it is kind of nice to have this scene in terms of keeping Angel Eyes' storyline going and maintaining the sense that he's still out there looking for Carson, even aside from the added plot clarity; without it, he'd just kind of not exist for a very significant chunk of the film.

I've also seen it argued that it brings out the horrors of the war too early, given the film's slow progression from the war as simply backdrop for the plot to eventually spending the leadup to the climax with it in stark focus. I think that's a legitimately interesting point, but also that it didn't stop me absorbing that progression just fine when first seeing the film as the Extended Cut -- soldiers are injured here, yes, but they aren't truly lingered on, and all in all it felt mostly just like a logical part of the established war-as-backdrop at this stage.

All in all, I have some mixed feelings on this scene and what it contributes, but I'm tempted to conclude the film might be better without it overall.

The desert

Tuco tracking down Blondie by finding his cigars at every campfire is pretty hilarious. Imagine what Blondie could have avoided if he just stopped smoking like a chimney.

(It's sort of surprising Blondie got so far ahead of Tuco to begin with -- he wouldn't have had long to get downstairs and to his horse while Tuco was recovering from the fall and getting out of the rubble, so one would've thought Tuco could've been basically right on his heels. I guess Tuco went in the wrong direction initially and had to catch up.)

Tuco forbidding Blondie to shoot down Shorty, oof. Once again Tuco is fundamentally out for himself, and right now he wants to deny Blondie this more than to let this stranger live, so down he goes. (Nonetheless, he flinches watching it, again bit of instinctive empathy despite that he mostly suppresses it -- it hits pretty close to home.)

Blondie continues to comply with the orders of the guy who's pointing a gun at him, but he clearly doesn't feel great about this, apologizing, gaze lingering on Shorty even as he's preparing to stand up. Clearly his moral line lies somewhere between leaving Tuco to fend for himself (where he might die, but sometime later in the desert where Blondie would never know) and letting Shorty hang, dying right in front of him when he was expecting a rescue. Perhaps Blondie didn't even know he had this line until now.

A moment of silence for Blondie's original horse, whom he probably rode out here, but who is presumably just left behind as Tuco takes him away and never seen again. This movie does not really give a damn about individual horses -- the characters' horses repeatedly disappear and go unmentioned only for them to later manage to get a different horse somewhere without comment -- but as a former horse girl this is the sort of thing I notice and wonder about.

Blondie presumably initially figures Tuco's just taking him somewhere a short distance away to try to make him hang himself again or something. But then Tuco shoots the canteen out of his hands, and the hat off his head for good measure (love Tuco casually replicating Blondie's little hat-shooting trick just to rub it in), and it starts to sink in that no, that's not it, is it. Where are they going? On a nice walk of a hundred miles through desert. "What was it you told me the last time? Ah, 'If you save your breath, I feel a man like you would manage it.'" Tuco's not taking him anywhere; this is just torture, once again a very specific torture. Blondie made Tuco walk seventy miles through the desert? Tuco'll make him walk a hundred miles, or however long it takes before he dies a slow and agonizing death, and that'll show him. I deeply enjoy how in this movie, between the two of them, it's never just generic revenge, but always this hyperspecific replication of the other's previous cruelties.

Tuco's cute pink parasol is such a choice.

He's so utterly gleeful watching Blondie helplessly stumbling until he faceplants in the sand. Tuco relishes power and control when he can get it, not only for the Blondie-specific reasons (Blondie had all the power from beginning to end in their bounty scheme, and exercised it to leave Tuco helpless) but probably also because of his background -- poverty sure is a way to feel perpetually helpless and subject to external whims, and escaping it through banditry probably represented a sense of freedom from all that, where he can just go out and take what he wants and other people can be subject to his whims for once.

In the sequence added in the Extended Cut, the collapsed and dehydrated Blondie looks at Tuco's boot right beside his face, swallows, tenses for a heave of effort -- and then grabs the boot, only for it to just be the empty boot, Tuco cheerfully bathing his feet a short distance away. (Blondie is definitely suffering from the "characters can't see anything out of frame" thing here, but I kind of enjoy the literal implication that his eyes can just barely even focus and the boot manages to be all he can make out in his field of vision, even if it stretches plausibility a bit.) I do quite like this bit, not least because this is the one time we actually properly see Blondie attempting resistance. He silently went along with the hanging and he silently goes along with the desert walk, too -- which makes sense, because he's being ordered to at gunpoint, and as I went into earlier, he doesn't have action hero armor that'd let him do much to fight back in these situations without just getting shot, and he's generally too careful to try under the circumstances. But it means that he feels very passive in these sequences, and seeing this moment where he finally does think he has a chance to strike back, and the hate in his eyes and how painstakingly he gathers all of the energy he can muster to grab it, helps a lot to contextualize the rest and make him more tangibly an active character who cares what's happening to him for this. With this bit, it's easy to extrapolate that he has been waiting for any chance to take him down this whole time, and this is the one time he (seemingly) finds one. Without it, his character just has no sense of agency at all the entire time he's being tortured, which would mute the whole thing a bit.

(Well, okay: a little before this, there is this wide shot, where we can see Tuco stationary on his horse and Blondie walking towards him -- then stopping, extending his foot a little further forward and sort of pathetically lunging for that last step, at which point Tuco's horse just moves further away, and Tuco laughs. This might be, and is on closer examination probably meant to be, Blondie making some form of stumbling attempt to sneak up on him. But it's a wide shot so you can barely see him, it goes by in seconds, and it's hard to tell what he's actually doing -- he could just be trying to catch up to Tuco, which is how I think I'd mostly been taking it before I started squinting at this -- which makes it not really serve the same purpose.)

(I gather the script had a bit, which was filmed and possibly in a version of the Italian release in 1966 but lost today apart from a small fragment, where Blondie slides down a hill into an animal skeleton lying there and grabs a bone that he could use as a weapon, but Tuco shoots it out of his hand and warns him not to try that again. That would have also provided that bit of agency, but given that was cut, the boot scene was all that was left, and I do maintain that cutting that too is bad for the movie.)

After he realizes it's just the boot, and of course Tuco's not letting him get close, and he has no hope of getting one over on Tuco at this point, Blondie sort of slumps in defeat for a moment, and then looks up, and then starts to crawl towards the water. It's pretty painful to watch; the utter helpless humiliation of being so thirsty and drained of defiance that he would drink the water Tuco just washed his feet in is its own grotesque flavor of torture, and then Tuco won't even let him have that.

After that, Blondie manages to push himself onto all fours, looks at Tuco for a moment -- probably realizing that even if he tried to rush him right now it would accomplish absolutely nothing other than entertaining Tuco more -- and then just crawls away, finally going somewhere of his own volition. He's not going to make it far at this point, and if it looked like he might Tuco would just shoot him, but maybe he can at least die somewhere a bit further away from him.

Tuco stands up and initially reaches for his gun as Blondie crawls off, but then he just laughs, seeing that there's absolutely no danger of Blondie making it very far or shaking him off -- he can just casually pack up his stuff and then follow him at a leisurely pace.

In the Italian/Extended Cut, Blondie rolling down the hill is continuing from this, whereas in the International Cut, Tuco had just gotten off his horse to approach him after he initially collapsed, suggesting that collapse wasn't quite as bad and that he was just sort of continuing but on all fours -- gives it a little bit of a different air.

I do appreciate just how pathetic Blondie's crawl/roll down the hill is. He sort of picks himself up again after the initial stumble but then just collapses on his back, admitting defeat. He's going to die here and he doesn't have the energy to do anything about it. Tuco lets that bottle roll down and come to a stop by his head and he doesn't even react.

Tuco spends a moment just looking at him down there before bringing out his gun to put him out of his misery. Probably less out of desire to actually put him out of his misery and more out of seeing he's not going to be able to make Blondie walk anywhere further right now, and he's not going to sit around waiting, and definitely not leaving him alive.

Blondie barely moves as Tuco points the gun at him, just closing his eyes again and swallowing and accepting that this is it. At the inn he had a chance but this time is a full-on definitely thought he was going to die here and was powerless to stop it, and this is also something that Blondie turns back on Tuco at the end.

(And yet Tuco keeps pointing his gun to kill him and taking a while to actually fire it, doesn't he. Part of this is just the movie doing dramatic timing but part of it is a genuine slight hesitation on his part, as shown more obviously at the inn.)

But then comes runaway carriage ex machina, just in time! Tuco not just shooting him first before checking on it is another notable moment of hesitation on his part. Once again, we actually need a deus ex machina, because Blondie needs to have been totally helpless here or it would completely change the implications for what's being set up.

This is another good scene that I enjoy a lot, particularly Blondie getting ready to grab the boot, although I'm also just a big fan of exhausted, dehydrated men stumbling around deserts. It's very merciless and ugly (gotta love the energy of getting Clint Eastwood at his handsomest for your movie and then absolutely fucking up his face with the gnarliest-looking sunburn makeup), really thoroughly parses as torture where the hanging scene was more quiet buildup, and Tuco's absolute cruelty here versus Blondie's exhausted helplessness is very important in viscerally setting up why Blondie does what he does at the end. But I also enjoy how strongly Tuco's actions here are still rooted in the specifics of how Blondie treated him. I just really love the twisted, fucked-up way the whole chain of revenge is built up between the two of them, and how interestingly their relationship then develops with all that hanging over it.

The carriage

I appreciate that we see Blondie juuust prop himself up to look as Tuco goes to intercept it -- he goes on to discreetly crawl all the way to it during the sequence that follows while we're focused on Tuco, and briefly seeing that he takes an interest and has mustered a tiny bit of energy again helps set that up.

More of Tuco's religiosity as he does the sign of the cross multiple times over the corpse of the soldier who initially falls out… and then immediately loots the corpse. Oh, Tuco.

I remembered the amputee informant's description of how Bill Carson was missing an eye, so as soon as we saw one of the apparently-dead soldiers in the carriage wearing an eyepatch I was like ohhhhh!! The storylines are connecting!! (And we're more than an hour into the Extended Cut when it happens. This movie very slow-paced compared to a modern film and yet so thoroughly enjoyable.)

You can juuust see Carson starting to blink a bit as Tuco searches him.

Tuco standing there glancing to the right out of the corner of his eye when he hears a noise from the wagon, while by the rules of the movie he can't actually see anything over there, is very funny. He even waits a bit before turning around to point his gun, as if knowing whoever is there can't see him either until he turns.

Tuco interrogating Carson about the $200,000 while the latter begs for water is another truly painful scene; Tuco's only invested in the dollars and anti-invested in saving Carson's life ("Don't die until later!"), straining to get him to talk first for as long as he possibly can, until he figures the guy is going to straight-up croak before talking, at which point of course he switches tack. Presumably he thinks if he actually gives him water Carson's liable to change his mind about telling him anything, so he has to get it out of him first if at all possible.

I also enjoy his annoyance with Carson telling him about his name and having been Jackson before but now Carson; the audience needs him to say his name, and it's probably also helpful to mention he used to be Jackson, but to Tuco it's just a waste of time. "Carson, Carson, yeah, yeah. Glad to meet you, Carson. I'm Lincoln's grandfather. What was that you said about the dollars?"

Tuco repeats the name of the cemetery near the very end of the exchange with Carson: "Sad Hill Cemetery, okay. In the grave, okay. But it must have a name or a number on it, huh? There must be a thousand, five thousand!" - which means that, since Blondie doesn't know the name of the cemetery (unless Blondie did know it the whole time and just pretended not to, which I guess we can't really rule out), he can't have been listening in by this point. Directly after this, Tuco tells Carson not to die and goes to get water. So Blondie pretty much can't have caught any of the stuff about the cash when Carson said it originally, and can't have known the full strategic significance of talking to him beforehand.

Instead, Blondie probably quietly crawled after Tuco with the aim of maybe being able to get the jump on him while he's distracted with whatever this is, and he only got close enough just at the end to see Tuco talking to Carson and telling him to not die. Then, as Tuco ran off for the water, Blondie obviously could not follow him back there, but instead crawled the rest of the way to the back of the wagon to see who Tuco's so desperate to keep alive, where Carson managed to gasp out something about a grave marked 'Unknown', next to Arch Stanton, and that it had money in it (Blondie does definitely learn there's money, since he then knows to use that as leverage). This is supported by how Blondie just refers very nonspecifically to having been told a name on a grave. He's really pulling a bit of a bluff here since he doesn't (presumably) know what cemetery this grave is in, so if Tuco hadn't happened to have learned that bit (which Blondie can't know), this information would not actually be that useful to either of them. But so long as he can make it sound like he can lead Tuco to riches right now, he has an actual shot at surviving.

I enjoy the way Blondie manages the tiniest wisp of a victorious smile to Tuco's "What name?!" just before passing out. The moment he sees Tuco's furious desperation to learn the name he's talking about, he knows he's won and that Tuco's going to do whatever he can to ensure his survival. He can pass out in peace.

Tuco's shifty eyes and expressions as he has to reevaluate everything are great. Eli Wallach really, really just makes this movie with his performance. I love Blondie and all, and Clint Eastwood in his thirties is very attractive, but I think it's criminal that I had heard about this movie and about Clint Eastwood being in it but had never heard Eli Wallach's name. He's so good and singlehandedly makes Tuco the best thing about it. I love him.

And there comes the Tuco tack-switch! He's not just invested in keeping Blondie alive for the money; he's his friend! As if this is somehow going to be persuasive to the man he's just spent hours torturing and toying with.

I love this absolutely bonkers goddamn character dynamic. First Blondie saves Tuco from the bounty hunters, then he apparently turns him in for the bounty, then you learn actually they're running a scam together, then Blondie screws over Tuco in a way that makes you kind of root for Tuco to get back at him, then Tuco painstakingly, cruelly labors to punish him for it in the most specific twisted ways until you're anxious for how Blondie's going to get out of this, then this happens… and because Tuco is the character he is, of course it works. He is already the guy who switches tack on a dime when it seems to serve him in the moment. We've just spent this whole carriage scene building up how singlemindedly fixated he is on this money once he hears about it. There are already so many striking layers going on in the interplay between these two guys and it makes it delicious to realize we've just added yet another layer and the rest of the movie is going to involve them having to work together after all this. And because it's the cash box from the Angel Eyes storyline, we're following up on that too in the process, with the also-delicious implicit promise that that's how they're going to bump into him. This is just such a gleefully fun and satisfying moment where everything comes together and I love it.

(Continued in part two! Thanks for reading if you got this far.)

#the good the bad and the ugly #ramble #review #character analysis #blondie #the man with no name #tuco ramirez #angel eyes #sentenza #movies #my buttons

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rainbowlapisart · 3 months ago

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Now that time has passed I wanna share my thoughts on Deadpool and Wolverine as a film, though I will preface by saying it isn't very positive... also, I admit I was high in the theaters watching this, so please treat this post like what it is: just an opinion.

The opening dance sequence was of course amazing, though there was some noticeable CGI. And I think the concept alone of Deadpool literally digging up Logan's grave is a hilarious way to start the movie.

Unfortunately Deadpool feels lamer and more like an asshole in this one. Especially after his character development in the last film I just can't see him desperately wanting to join the Avengers of all teams. Nando v Movies mentioned this but what the hell even is the Avengers now? And why is Happy in charge of who gets let in? And why wouldn't they let Wade in? Yeah he's gross and crass but he has special forces training and is nigh-unkillable. Y'all let Hawkeye in but not Deadpool?

The setup is interesting though I can't fully get behind the idea of anchor beings-- and the further idea that their death leads to "associated" universes collapsing as well as theirs? I don't know, it comes off as "yeah we have all these other characters you care about but Wolverine is the important one so they'd die without him", which is kind of an insult to those characters and that universe.

I admit, I was never big on Wolverine as a character, I always thought he was cool as hell but the only movie of his I've seen was Logan, which was awesome. So I admit that it may just be a case of the movie wasn't meant for me, but still I am a Deadpool fan so of course I'm gonna see this anyways. Super glad we got a good suit for him but I wish we didn't have to wait until the very end for him to put the cowl on.

The Johnny Storm/Captain America tease and bit was really funny I will say. Personally I was too stoned to get the joke at first, I honest to god thought he was just Chris Evans, but now that I've sobered up the misdirect is really funny.

Deadpool is directly responsible for getting Johnny Storm killed. I know Deadpool is a murderer and maybe I shouldn't give a shit about this, but it just feels like an unlikable thing for him to do. Like... that's a guy. That's a hero. It's not like he was being an ass to Wade or anything, he was an ally to the two and got killed for no good reason.

There was barely any screentime for the side characters that were some of the best parts of the first films. After Deadpool 2 I was really excited to see the X-Force working together in the next movie. The dynamic between Wade, Cable, and Domino are really fun and I think this Wolverine would've fit right in. It feels like a missed opportunity to not have the X-Force be the team to help fight Cassandra.

Speaking of, how about those cameos? I never watched Elektra or Blade so these kind of meant nothing for me. I watched this with my dad and he got pretty excited. Laura doesn't really do anything that memorable other than talk to Logan, and of course Channing Tatum's Gambit is the best character in all of cinema. Completely and utterly obsessed with him and I need a trilogy about him immediately.

I didn't love Wolverine's whole "letting his universe down" thing. It gets hyped up so much then when we learn what happened it was a bit underwhelming. I just can't see a universe where the X-Men are taken down by a mob of humans.

I laughed my ass off lots of times. "The Proposal. :)", "Suck it Fox, I'm going to Disneyland", "There's only ever gonna be one Blade", "He has risen, babygirl!", and pretty much everything out of Nicepool.

In general it kinda feels like it's regressing what was so good about Deadpool 1 and 2. It also feels like it's more for fans of the Fox Marvel movies than Deadpool fans. I hope that since this movie is "Deadpool and Wolverine" that means we can get a more proper Deadpool 3 in the future that brings back those who I missed dearly.

#deadpool and wolverine #deadpool #wolverine #film #film thoughts #film review #deadpool and wolverine review #deadpool 3

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fg083nrt · 11 months ago

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KAKUHIDA fic recs 💴🩸

Everything in this list is either M or E-rated. Very low possibility of anything T-rated. Most links are ao3, but some are livejournal, fanfiction.net or ficbook or pixiv.

Disclaimer: I do not actually know 4 languages; I just use Google Translate or Depl because I am insane.

TOP FAVES in no particular order

[Mandarin]【角飞】都市谋杀之夜 by Liebestorm

Ballet dancer Hidan + black alley doctor Kakuzu. Incredible story, full of casual cruelty, there’s death, there’s body horror, there’s physical and mental suffering - all things Kakuhida. I think about this story a lot. The accuracy of their depiction in the modern setting is stunning. Head the warnings. There are many.

Content Warnings: abortion, amputation, violence, abuse, cruelty.

By the same author 【吸血鬼AU】以圣灵的名义… Vampire AU! A small, fun story about two vampires hunting together. Some really cute romantic cannibalism.

[Russian] Мертвый сезон by Tiferet (taubenblautiferet)

PART 1 | PART 2

“Can a country boy and a big city man fall in love?”

Hot spring worker Hidan and ex-yakuza accountant Kakuzu on vacation. Lots of ghosts (well, just one, but oh man), curses(???), sex, Tokyo life and a demonic God that wants to have a talk. Very dear to my heart. Watching Kakuzu drop his guard down when faced with Hidan’s relentless naivete and determination makes my brain go all mushy.

Literally, anything by this author is top-tier storytelling writing, and you know you are always in for a fun ride!!

If you are looking for something more lighthearted, try ХИДАН ЛАЖАЕТ. It’s a fun story about video game streamer Hidan and his secret admirer, Kakuzu.

[English] Is it Life or Art? by lilac_bramble

This story is just so much fun, London socialite/model/”personality” Hidan and investment banker Kakuzu. Truly like peak Kakuhida to me. I really enjoy their relationship here. Their chemistry just works so well. This story is nearly the same word count as Game of Thrones. I am not joking. I am obsessed with authors' in-depth, detailed little tidbits of life in London.

[Japanese] 【角飛】めまゐ【web再録】by Puola

I love stories about characters told by someone completely unrelated, like a view from outside. I think this story does it so well. I loved seeing the tiny glimpses into how other people see them. It’s a short but a very special story. They cannot escape ‘These two really care for each other’ allegations.

[Russian] Небо класса S by бабаягапротив

*DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DEIDARA FAN OR SASODEI FAN

It is a truly amazing story from start to finish. I couldn’t stop reading it. Cruel, funny, witty dialogue, violence, great character insight, everything juicy remains in subtext and subtext alone. Lots of fun revelations are left up to the reader's interpretation, which I really enjoyed. Great example of how a sex scene can be used to show more hidden aspects of a relationship and how the two come together. The whole premise is really unusual and refreshing.

[English] Like steps of passing ghosts by Sneakend

The storytelling reminds me of an official Naruto light novel. The same like tempo and the dynamic between them just feels very much like them. The story premise is simple but satisfying. I love it when Hidan is affected by the supernatural.

[English] In Limbs and Joints by orphan_account

Zombie AU. Loved, loved, loved the ending. I hate reading zombie AU, where characters survive for a bit too long makes everything drag on and on. This story is perfect. We get them coming in, and then the end feels even more gut-wrenching but also super satisfying. Really well done!

[English] Kakuzu and the Temple of Jashin by fauvester

Ultimate comfort story. It’s camp; it’s scary, it’s gory, it’s funny. I just love everything about this story.

Genre clusters

Genre: “Corrupt Priest Hidan”

[Russian] Ничего святого by меровинген

Church Cardinal Hidan + Thief Kakuzu. Really hot!

2. [English] Madness by JonShiiiiiDesu

Holy Son Hidan + Black Plague Doctor Kakuzu. The premise and the setting is really fun!

Genre: “Kakuzu goes to a bar, spots Hidan being his weird, insane self, and then simply has no other choice but to fuck him in the men’s washroom.”

[Russian] Оседлавший торнадо by Tiferet

Calgary stampede Kakuhida. Insert cowboy emoji. Great story! May be helping with translation soon.

2. [Russian] Горючее by AmberWha1e

Hidan picks Kakuzu up at a bar but loses his number.

3. [Russian] 5:49 в Стерджен-Бей by Neverhere

Pure romance. Modern AU, as well!

Check out another fic by the same author Таинство любви

Hidan gives head in a church! Fun!

4. [Russian] Чистюля by меровинген

Casino coworkers Kakuhida, I love this authors Kakuzu!

+There was another fanfic that was like so unhinged, but it got deleted, I will miss it forever.

[English] Beloved Schism by ThisCatastrophe

Saint!Hidan+Mercenary!Kakuzu. Really interesting setting packed with catholic tidbits.

[English] Evolution of Us by SenkoWakimarin

I remember reading this story on LiveJournal, a classic.

Gentleness by the same author. They are an OG!

[English] True Intentions by sweetdreamz

Unfinished, but it’s so hot and cute I don’t care. Virgin!Kakuzu is a rare commodity.

[English] take the hand and arm by shannyan

Sex pollen! Check out more from that author.

[English] Bring Me Back A Dog by W0lfism

Fuckfest AND a really fun plot!!! All in one!!! Any KKHD by Wolf is top-notch porn.

[English] Gentle Rains Trailer Park by HidansCrazyLaugh

Trailer park AU! Really love this one

[Russian] The Third Weakness by Цагн

Modern prison AU focused on Kakuzu and his fateful meeting with Hidan.

Their other works for them are awesome too

[English] Irredeemable Paradise by ManicR

This style is rare nowadays I like this.

[English] Heaven by Crystaline-Crimson

Similarly rare style.

[English] Another Mess by Un.filltered

A short and fun sex session on a table.

[Japanese] どうぞこの身を召し上がれ by Kiyo

Cake and Fork AU, it’s a variation of omegaverse, but with more focus on cannibalism. Romantic goreporn!

#kakuhida #kakuzu #hidan #fic rec #akatsuki #brainworms #i have a ton more in my bookmarks but i think this might be a good starting point rec list

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alexa-nowak · 7 months ago

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One of my old texts from YouTube arguments about Astarion endings

I am not that invested in this discourse nowadays because I lost hope to change anyone's opinion and also, I am simply tired from dealing with toxic bs that I am getting as a response to some of my old comments on YT to this day. My favourites are those who will reply to my every comment to say how delulu I am and I probably just dreaming about being in a toxic relationships myself, while being unable to understand that people have their own ways to heal through art and that throwing poison on people like that is not helpful at all.

I will leave it there and funny enough, I am not even so much of AA fan, I just don't like people being ignorant and rude.

And I like writing essays, so here it is.

So, what this dark romance fantasy is about for me personally,(even though i prefer spawn romance, i absolutely understand the appeal of A!Astarion because honestly, i was all about this kind of romance during my childhood and teenage years, hardocore the Phantom of the Opera girl is here, inside your head 💀), and why it's also healing route for some players,and no, it's not about kinky vampiric banging.

1)A lot of people feel extremely worthless and insecure, lonely, like no one really cares for them at all. It's a very deep wound that hurts and it's difficult to overcome even in perfectly loving, healthy and supportive relationship with a good partner,and even with therapy. So fantasy about a vampire, being obsessed with you so much that he is ready to do absolutely anything just to be with you for forever is really comforting. Also,you don't have to think too much about your imperfections, because for him you like a center of his vampire heart.

Besides, you sympathise with him - it's like a selfcomfort mirror, i love this monster despite everything, so in a way, i accept myself despite any flaws i see in me.

2) Safety. When the world around you feel like a wilderness, full of monsters, it feels like only the most terrifying loving monster can protect you from it. He is powerful and protective, and i am so precious to him, that he will set the world on fire just so i would be safe.

3) Responsibility. As you may see, this kind of relationship have daddy issues vibes and codependency, and in real life, you can't just fully submit safely to anyone, I don't think i have to explain why it's a dangerous idea to seek this kind of relationships in real life. You have to stay a grown up independent person and seek safety for yourself without expecting someone to come and heal all your wounds. But this is fantasy, so finally you can use this as a comfort fantasy with no fear about being taking advantage of, without shame to be called childish and etc.

4) Independence. Spawn ending is very terrifying for anyone who has issues with feeling safe and independent, because some of us prefer violent power fantasies over "we have each other and that's all that matters", second of all, this ending also has some shady co-dependency undertone to it that can be triggering for some people. I love Spawn Astarion a little bit more more than Asc and yet my heart stayed absolutely broken after running away from the sun scene, and i hate that he is so dependent on Tav. Larian owes me some emotional refund after this.

5)SA trauma: it wasn't even seen as a possibility for healing way by writer, but it is for some.Asc Astarion feels like he is the most powerful creature in the world,and he is fully controlling everything that happens between him and Tav,so finally, it's a kind of situation where there is no chance of him being abused again. It's one of the reasons why some people become Doms in BDSM dynamic relationships: finally, full control of the process and a partner, who trusts then enough to fully submit, trust issues is also big deal in Astarion story of healing. I find idea that that only Subs can enjoy Asc Astarion a little bit naive. Because,well, some news for you: Doms like it too because they understand why he is so eager to be a top

Unrealistic, not the healthiest way? Probably! But this man and this love is not real anyway.

Yes, i think many of us, especially folks who went through therapy and a lot of self reflecting are already aware that it's basically romanticized version of narcissistic obsession and in real life this is creepy, but it's not real, it's a fantasy. People use BDSM to heal, romance books and all other forms of art to deal with their inner demons and it's absolutely normal. Even if someone is blind to see what is wrong with Asc Astarion, I highly doubt that toxic bucket of shame and aggression are able to help see anyone problematic side of things. Do you know who is usually up to romanticize toxic dynamic in romance? Victims of abuse. In real life, if you just scream and yell at any poor girl/boy/whatever about how stupid they are for believing that their abusive partner really loves them, people will either break down and cry or tell you to f#ck off and they will have every right to do so, but they won't see what's wrong with their partner,in whom quite often victims of abuse see their only source of love and safety in life.

Hells, I am so sick and tired from this "white cloak knight saviour from cycle of abuse" toxic flood in this fandom. If you really want to educate people - do it with extreme care and compassion. Real life healing is not working like it's with Astarion in the game,few right dialogs and boom, dude is on the right path.

It takes enormous amount of patience and love, be kind to one another, and stay safe, darlings. Being toxic on Asc fans you are not helping anyone, you just hitting your superiority complex button in your ass.

#astarion #ascended astarion #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 discourse #also I passionately hate modern fandom culture and politics around liking the bad guy #and surface level twitter psychology that is so popular right now #Spotify #fandom discourse

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amour393 · 1 year ago

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ok. dragons rising part 2 thoughts

these will be in no particular order but I'll try to stay somewhat organized XD

spoilers ahead!

(this ah. got long)

Characters

Lloyd: As sad as I get when I think about Lloyd growing up, I love what they're doing with him. Seeing the parallels between him and Wu is so poetic and I LOVE the dynamic with Lloyd and Arin. Lloyd is kind and strong and wise and he has been treated so well in dragons rising

Arin: Speaking of, Arin is absolutely amazing. He is precious and adorable and I love him. Sweet polite boy I love you so much you have never done anything wrong ever and I love you

Sora: Sora is fine, I like her but I'm not like obsessed with her character like I am with Arin. I love Sora but I'm never super jazzed about her. Her arc in part 2 was alright but I wish it had more buildup. I think with a few more moments here and there of her trying to use her powers without Riyu would have made the payoff much better. And I know they were trying to go for a "resistance never quits" moment with her speech at the end but. Idk it just didn't hit the same

Zane: Zane I love you. I feel you I also am BROKEN over Pixal being gone. Literally everything about Zane in part 2 was perfect. I love him so much and he loves pixal so much it makes me unwell. Also. Zane Day is now an international holiday

Nya: I love Nya's dynamic with Sora and how she gets to be like. The first positive female influence in Sora's life. Especially because Nya didn't have that as a kid or uh ever so I love that. HOWEVER!!! Oh my goodness gracious give Nya feelings. She has emotions. She has trauma. What are we doing guys. I'll go episode by episode later but I am incredibly salty at how Nya was treated in episode 14. and also. OH MY WORD. WHAT ABOUT JAY. You have said his name TWICE and Cole looked more distraught than you!!! You care about this boy more than almost anyone else in the world!!!!!!!! Why aren't you acting like it???????????? I see you with a lightning dragon but that's like the most we get.

Kai: oh Kai I absolutely love how they are treating you and i also hate it. It's like with Jay gone they were like haha let's make Kai stupid so he'll be the new comic relief! However I love teacher Kai. He is my favorite, the growth, the development, the parallels! Yes! Kai is an accomplished ninja!! He's been a ninja for over 10 years at this point!! He has learned so much and grown so so much since then and I love him so much.

Wyldfyre: I'm about to make a lot of people really mad but I absolutely despise Wyldfyre. I love the concept of Kai having a kid to train (and all of them each having a next-gen kid to train) but Wyldfyre was not the right fit and I just disliked her more every time she was on screen, which was really upsetting because every time it switched back to her and Kai I was already annoyed and I don't want to be upset when Kai's onscreen but she is just so intolerable it made it hard to enjoy Kai, which is so so sad because I absolutely love Kai! Wyldfyre is selfish, arrogant, irritatingly reckless, petty, and INCREDIBLY rude and disrespectful to Kai. I don't care if she was raised in the wilderness. Kai spent all of part 2 trying to help her be better and the most of a character arc we got from her was her. Not acting like a jerk. Which we should not have to be proud of!! Not being a jerk is expected!! That's not a character arc that's just being a decent human being!! I think Wyldfyre's character could have worked in theory if she had literally any likable characteristics but she just doesn't. I don't think I have ever disliked a ninjago character this much which is such a bummer. It fills me with rage every time they compare her to Kai. Sure, in the early seasons Kai was kind of reckless and a bit self-absorbed. But not nearly to this extent, and Kai was still likable. The things about Wyldfyre they try to play off as humor aren't funny, they're just annoying or gross. I'm not opposed to the concept of Kai adopting a feral child, but if the feral child is like this then I don't want it. Replacing Wyldfyre with Skylor or a new character that is actually likable would have made Dragons Rising SO much better.

Cole: on a MUCH more positive note, I literally don't think they could have done Cole any more perfect. I am SO GLAD HE'S BACK I MISSED HIM SO MUCH. Cole being thrown into the Land of Lost Things is absolutely heartbreaking and says so much about his character. Cole, who had an entire character arc over fear of being forgotten ending up in the Land of Lost Things? I AM BROKEN. Dad Cole is back and better than ever. He found a bunch of children and immediately adopted them? Perfection. Could not be better. He actively chooses to remain in the Land of Lost Things to protect them?????? Amazing so in character it hurts and I love him so much. A lot of this season made me remember how much I love Cole. I spent this entire season freaking out over Jay that I forget how much I love Cole and this season did not fail to remind me. His first line being "NO ONE TOUCHES THESE CHILDREN!!!!!" is amazing and perfect and so in character. I cannot applaud what they did with Cole enough. Well done. I am very curious to see where Wu is leading him, can't wait to see him in season 2. I will die mad he didn't get to see Zane or Kai or Lloyd but ITS FINE IM FINE

Geo: I would throw him in with the other characters but oh my gosh. Geo's existence is absolutely perfect. The symbolism?? The metaphors?? Absolutely perfect. Him being a hybrid of two peoples who have a reputation for hating each other being the Master of Fusion, of bringing two things that don't belong together? I am destroyed. It occurs to me that when they first met Geo was probably like "yeah, I'm half geckle half munce and I was exiled from my people since they hate each other and they will never reconcile their differences" and Cole was like "Well that sucks but I have some good news for you" but then Geo couldn't even leave to try to find Shintaro. I am depressed. I love love love Geo based on his symbolism alone, not to mention the fact that his powers are genuinely super cool.

Other Characters: when i tell you I lost my BLOODY MIND when gulch showed up it is a vast understatement. I freaked out I screamed it was amazing. It was so fun seeing Gulch again. This is the dragons rising I love, new characters doing important things and running into old characters we know and love. Frohicky is fun I love him. Lobbo has never done anything wrong and I'm so proud of him for winning the Zane lookalike contest. Slay king. Jordana is uh there I guess, she's boring so far. I will give thoughts on Arrokore when I talk about episode 14

Villains: Beatrix is incredibly boring and I am SO glad she's not gonna be the actual villain. Lord Ras is much more interesting and compelling (is Chima the Wyldness????? Because he is definitely from Chima and the writers are COWARDS for saying anything different). This is the first time we've had a Ninjago plot genuinely stretch across more than one season and I am sooooo relieved that Beatrix isn't actually the big bad. I'm really excited to meet Ras' master. I'm not going to lie I literally forgot about Rapton and had to come back and talk about him. I cannot emphasize how neutral I am about him. He is a Guy and that is the extent of my feelings. Same with LaRow I keep forgetting about her

Speaking of villains! That brings us to the Administration. I absolutely love it. The concept of the Administration is so interesting and I cannot WAIT to learn more about them and see more of them. There's something so interesting and also poetic about an organization of micromanagers being part of the same realm as the Realm of Madness that just. hnng. The Administration is totally sick and i can't wait to see more of them. Which leads us to...

Jay: Hm. Ah. Where do I begin. When I tell you I screamed, I lost my freaking mind it is not an understatement. I think I've watched those same 20 seconds like 30 times at least and I need those five lines tattooed on my brain. I have so many emotions. It breaks my heart. I'm elated. This is everything I've wanted. I'm so mad that's all there was. It makes perfect sense. Why would they do this. There's something that destroys me so much about Jay- sweet, kind, fun, creative, quirky, genuine Jay- in an organization of micromanagers. He is passive-aggressive and sassy and degrading and mean and I LOVE HIM. It is so inherently not who Jay is (except for being sassy I'm so glad he's a little brat) and I think that's great. It makes me SO excited to see what they do with him in season 2. If they don't do him justice I will RIOT. This has the potential to be one of my favorite plot points in all of ninjago history if they do it right, but if they do it wrong I will be broken. He looks so good in this animation, I absolutely LOVE IT. He is beautiful and sassy and it BREAKS ME that they don't know he's there. They were so close and they missed him. No one knows Jay is there. I am destroyed. He's a manager!! He's working his way up in the world!! I am so proud of him. He would buy himself a worlds best boss mug. Everyone loves him and they hate him. I might make a whole other post just on how I need that reunion to go but. I miss him so much. So much. I don't know how long I can wait without them knowing he's there. Go find your brother. You know where everyone else is now GO FIND YOUR BROTHER!!!!

Episodes

11. Temple of the Dragon Cores - Solid episode? It makes me curious about the lore. Surely either the Wyldness or the Garden are Chima there's no way Chima is separate. There are literally snail people and giant trees. If that's not Chima core idk what is. Rapton is there I guess. The guardian thing was cool. Lloyd dropping random earth-shattering facts is such a Wu thing to do I am LIVING for it.

12. Gangs of the Sea - When I say I spent this whole episode wishing for Bentho I'm not joking. I freaking miss him why didn't they mention him it would have been so easy!! Arin you are so cute and I love you.

13. Wyldly Inappropriate - This episode filled me with so much rage solely because of Wyldfyre. I'm sorry Wyldfyre truthers I am happy for you but oh my word it's just painful. She is so arrogant and just straight up unkind I hate her so much. This episode would have been so much better with Skylor instead. Or literally anyone but Wyldfyre.

14. The Last Djinn - Ok as a skybound truther I have So Many Emotions about this episode. How did Nya know this was a place of the djinn and she was just? Fine? Ok. Arrokore is fine as a character but i absolutely hate what it did to the Djinn. Having a character who has lost their whole society is fascinating! I would have preferred if they made him more of a Ronin-type recluse, where he's extremely paranoid and distrusting instead of just straight-up depressed. All of the experience we have with Djinn is that they are extremely powerful and evil and crazy and dangerous. Switching from Nadakhan to Arrokore was such a hard shift that as a fan it was so hard to be able to enjoy Arrokore as a character. That's not the main thing I'm upset about, overall he's likable and he's fine, I just think he could have been a lot cooler. My main issue with this episode is Nya. Is she just perfectly fine? GIVE HER EMOTIONS OH MY GOSH. SHE HAS TRAUMA YOU COWARDS SHOW IT!!!!!! Literally one of THE most traumatizing times in her life was directly tied to a Djinn and she runs into one and she's just. Fine? There was pretty much NOTHING that alluded to Nya having any sort of history with the Djinn except maybe a little bit of salt when she's talking about their showmanship. A Djinn kidnapped and tortured the love of her life. A Djinn almost destroyed her entire home. A Djinn captured her and caused her own possession. A Djinn killed her (more or less). You want to look me in the eyes and tell me she's going to run into a Djinn and just be perfectly fine? Absolutely not. They could have done this SO much better. Show the trauma. Show the distrust. Show me Nya jumping in front of Sora, show me the fear running through her. Give me Sora asking how Nya knows so much about the Djinn and Nya just can't bring herself to answer. Or she does! And we get a moment of "the only other person who remembers is Jay, and he..." [ACTUALLY SAD MOMENT THAT GENUINELY SHOWS THAT NYA HAS EMOTIONS AND ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT HER LITERAL FIANCÉ WHO SHE LITERALLY GAVE UP HER LIFE FOR] and maybe Sora comforts her! A "we'll find him, Nya" moment. Just a moment. Nya left and Jay fell apart and I hate how Nya is shown to be perfectly fine when Jay has been gone for years. We could have had a little arc of Nya overcoming trauma and distrust and learning that not all Djinn are the same! Okay, fine, we didn't get that. But how dare they let Nya start wishing. Wishes got her killed. Wishes caused the most traumatic weeks of her life. Wishes almost killed the love of her life. You want to tell me that she's just totally fine firing off a few wishes? SHE DIED. GIRLY DIED AND SHE'S JUST MAKING WISHES LIKE IT'S NOTHING? We could have had a moment of Arrokore saying they have to wish for it and Nya being like "NO Sora you can't trust him, they're all the same" and then Arrokore proves himself! Even so, Nya should not have let Sora make a wish without protesting, and she CERTAINLY would not have made one herself. As a skybound stan this episode made me so sad. It was genuinely a good episode but I am so so broken up over what could and should have been. Zane did put a picture of Pixal on a broom though so this episode gets points for that

15. They Call It Doom - YOU'RE TELLING ME THE ADMINISTRATION JUST CASUALLY ALSO SHOOTS BLUE LIGHTNING. FINE OKAY THAT'S GREAT. I already shared my Nya and Arrokore and whatnot thoughts but still. I'm still salty. Anyway this episode's ending was glorious. Teacher Kai you will always be famous I'm so sorry this is the trainee you got stuck with. NO ONE TOUCHES THESE CHILDREN lives in my head rent free and his powerup is so so cool. Baby Serpentine. yes.

16. Land of Lost Things - so you're telling me that Cole has adopted stray children who have run away from home because they felt unwanted and unloved. no I'm totally fine I'm SO normal about cole and his character and the respect he got and the sacrifice of him staying there to protect these kids. I am so broken but its fine I'm fine everything is fine

17. The Administration - See aforementioned thoughts on Jay. The Administration is so cool I love them and I am stoked to see more of them. It's giving men in black tbh. They are so cool. When they follow the directions and find Zane and they're like oh hi Zane! we didn't even know you were here! A) peak comedy and B) when he said "who did you think was going to be here?" THAT WAS DIRECTLY TO US THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT JAY AND IM SO MAD AT THEM FOR IT NOT ACTUALLY THOUGH. Also I don't remember which episode Zane Day and Gulch was in but every moment of that was both perfection and also the peak of comedy. The music when Jay walks on screen destroyed me it was so so good. He is a tired office worker the headcanons were RIGHT. Cannot get over that. I love the look of the Administration, the style, it all looks so good. The concept of a whole organization with an entire division assigned to realm reassignment is fascinating. I want to see Kai's teaching in this episode is great and the parallels between him and Wu were amazing. At the end of the day Jay was here and that gave me enough serotonin to last me a good long while.

18. Absolute Power - I'm not gonna lie this was hard to enjoy because I just wanted to see more of Jay but it was a solid episode. I wanna know what Beatrix' sister's elemental power was. Ras is very cool I am so glad he's going to have a bigger role. Nya and Cole's relationship in this episode is everything to me. They are So Siblings and also Best Friends I love them so so much.

19. We Are All Dragons - good for the Imperium kids starting the revolution, but Rapton being the traitor made no sense. It's like they tried to pull a Kallus in Rebels but there was not nearly enough buildup for this to make sense. I really couldn't care less about Rapton so I'm not mad about this it just didn't make that much thematic sense lolll. I did really like Sora's moment with her parents and rejecting them in favor of the found family, but her speech didn't make sense. It would have hit so much more if she actually explained what ~being a dragon~ means but she really just went WE ARE ALL DRAGONS!! and everyone went YEAH!!!!!!!!!! like girlie uh what does that mean. I liked the parallels but Lloyd's moment was better.

20. The Power Within - I still don't understand why Beatrix wanted to uh. destroy the universe but pop off. I'm not gonna lie I literally cheered when Wyldfyre got sucked into a mergequake. Kai's reaction was in theory great but i am still salty it was over Wyldfyre, this child has been absolutely horrible to you Kai what are you doing. I don't understand how everyone is perfectly fine when everyone comes back from the merge quakes when Beatrix literally went through one of them. I loved Sora's showdown with her parents and I can't wait to see what's up with Ras. I will DIE MAD THERE'S NO MURAL ON THE WALL but WHATEVER.

Returning Characters

I want Pixal back so bad. I'm very optimistic she'll be here in season 2 and I cannot wait for her to be back. I'm hoping that she'll come save Zane from, idk, sensing his signal or something.

SKYLOR. OH MY GOODNESS BRING BACK SKYLOR. I need her back so bad it's unreal

I want Vania back. I want fugidove back. WHERE IS GARMADON. WHERE IS HE. WE HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED HIM WHERE IS HE.

I miss Ed and Edna and Lou and Cyrus Borg and Scott and the elemental masters (WHERES KARLOFF I MISS HIM SO MUCH) and BENTHO and yeah. i miss them

SO, I have a lot of thoughts as you can see and this probably isn't all of them. I want all of everyone's thoughts please send me asks send me messages I just want to scream

AND BRING BACK JAY

#that uh. got long #ninjago #dragons rising #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago dragons rising #jay walker #nya smith #cole brookstone #kai smith #ninjago wyldfyre #ninjago arin #ninjago sora #lloyd garmadon #zane julien #i miss pixal #ninjago spoilers #WOW that took longer than anticipated

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