amongsnot

[amongsnot]

there are baby shoes in your drawer.

you don’t know how long they’ve been in there—a month, a year, perhaps even two—just that they are gently tucked into the right corner, taking space on top of a toddler onesie.

you sit down on the edge of your bed, cradling the shoes between your hands; cupped like a dove. you tentatively pick one up (turning it around with squinted eyes) and read the size on the back. it reads a number that you do not understand.

but you once did, and there are baby shoes in your drawer, and you are not a baby.

you are eighteen. you are eighteen with a job (to a store you’ve never bought a toy from) and a family (that does not love you) and a life (that does not feel like yours).

and the baby shoes did not belong to you eighteen years ago. they are new and shine and your mother would never buy you something this nice.

the baby shoes are chaste in the front from where a little kid took their first steps. the shoes are tied (double knotted with care and worry). the shoes were put in your bedside table with a precarious sort of caution. the shoes belonged to a baby that was loved, and you did not know that feeling eighteen years ago.

there are baby shoes in your drawer, and they are purple.

you frown and put them on top of your bedside table, next to the tank without fish.

you pull out the onesie that belongs to a toddler next, unfolding it and holding it out in front of you. it has a pun on the front that makes you smile. (“my brother mayde dis shirt!” it reads. then, in a small font underneath. “he cant spel.”)

and you know that this onesie does not belong to you either, because you never had a brother. your parents would rather kill you and then each other before having another kid. your mom still glares at you in the bathroom mirror when she looks at her stretch marks. your dad still forgets to unlock the door when you come home from school.

you would never have a brother; but that’s fine. it’s what you’ve grown accustomed to, after all.

so you would never have a brother, and there is a onesie in your hands.

and there are baby shoes on your bedside table.

you examine the onesie further, checking it for stains or grease marks or rips. you check it for signs that it has been lived in, and you are surprised to see that there are none. this is not the ending you want, though; it is not the ending that the kid with the onesie and the purple shoes deserves.

you run a hand through the neck hole and pull at the cloth from the inside, desperately searching for a sign that this kid had been loved. you glance upwards, through the entryway to your bedroom and at the mirror hanging on the wall in the hallway (there is no physical door to your room. your parents had it removed as soon as they could). you check your own clothes, noting the wrinkled creases and year-old stains. you look at the onesie in your hands and search for everything that you don’t recognize: grass stains from playing outside and food stains from yummy meals. rips from growth spurts and baby drool.

there is nothing, and you come to the terrifying realization that this kid will grow up to be just like you.

the world does not need another one of you.

perhaps you should do something about that. stop it before it happens.

subconsciously, you run a hand through the hole for the neck and check the inside, and then you run a hand through the sleeves, pushing something hard and sharp out of the other end.

you pull your hand out and grab the card, and you pull your hand away from it just to leave a red stain, but you do not care because youve had babysitter who have done worse damage.

(“happy fifth birthday poof!” the card reads, accompanied by a small doodle of a balloon.)

there are three lines that have been scribbled out, before the writer finally decided on a meek “i love you.” and your hand shakes. you can feel a tear run down your cheek, landing on the card next to a similar water stain.

you throw the card across the room and bury your face into the piece of clothing. you don’t know why you’re crying now, when you’ve never cried once in your whole life. you don’t know why you recognize the hand writing on the card. you don’t know why you know what the three lines scribbled out say (“i’m going to miss you.” “it’s better this way!” “you’re going to do great things, i wish i could be there to watch.”).

you don’t know why you bought a purple onesie with a card addressed to a person you don’t know.

you don’t know why you don’t know.

all you know is that there is a card on the floor of your bedroom, and a purple onesie in your lap.

and a pair of baby shoes on your bedside table.

[amongsnot]

did you cry?

did you cry, little boy? (i do not remember.)

little boy, you are so young, do they understand that you love them so? (i do not remember.)

they call the ghost the ship of theseus, for he is a boy and not. (i hold your shoulders tight. bruising. was he? tell me what you know.) they do not understand that you hide in the corner little boy. for nobody knows what happens morrow. not even you. (your skin is bruised. why?)

you knew it was coming, didn't you little boy? (i do not remember) you knew your time was limited. it came like a hand; quick and painful. you know the feeling well, little boy. believe me. (do not ask how i know.) did you cry when the clock struck midnight, little boy? did you wake up, eyes-red, pillow-wet, with no idea as to why? oh, i pity the little boy. (do you remember?)

[amongsnot]

🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🔞!!️ Do not ignore my message. It is an emergency. There is nothing left for us. Now I need your help to buy medicine urgently. It is very expensive, worth $600. An anaesthetic for the pain. He also needs to travel to continue the necessary treatment procedure. Please, you are my hope. Just donate what you can to my brother😭💔💔

Https://gofund.me/73d4b003

i hope your brother can find the care he needs, sharing to help spread your link!

[amongsnot]

Wait… hang on you’re the Tigerghost masquerade fic writer!!! Oh my god I loved that fic dude! Awesome to find you on tumblr!

HI HELLO great to see you too!!!!! oh my GOD i love your tiger ghost animation so this is very fun for me,, thank you for liking my works it’s like when a celebrity comments on a twitter post

[amongsnot]

You said you had a magical girl Timmy fic hand it over 🔫 /j

i was talking about this one which i count to be magical (i like horror and blood and giving timmy magic when it’s dreadfully evil of me to do so) (hes not your typically styled japan-type magical girl but hes magic and a girl in spirit so it’s close enough)

i want to write another one though! unfortunately i cannot stop giving characters guns (serious problem) so we’ll find out how magical he really turns out to be

[amongsnot]

I need to settle this once and for all

no nuance

[amongsnot]

hey if you're trans in the us i love you. hey if you're queer in the us i love you. hey if you're a person of color in the us i love you. hey if you're a woman in the us i love you. hey if you're disabled in the us i love you. i love you i love you i love you

[amongsnot]

that one robot girl i remember seeing on tv a long time ago -but in my style !

[amongsnot]

wrong way

[amongsnot]

Screw physics exam, I’m drawing Dog Man angst.

[amongsnot]

Yeah, an Anti-Wasmo thing which I did last month!

[amongsnot]

ENOUGH with the cat themed pet names he is SUFFERING

[amongsnot]

clothing (and shading) practice ig??

i hate drawing him guys i swear…

Yes manny is putting on eyeliner bc little headcanon :D

Frida did his eyeliner once, and he hasn’t stopped since. (And an excuse to make his eyes a bit more cat like lol.)

[amongsnot]

Please pay attention to this campaign, donate or share ⚘️❤️‍🩹.

I am the student Haya. I dreamed of graduating from the prestigious Islamic University, but the war destroyed everything. Today, I ask for your help to rebuild my future. Your donation will contribute to rebuilding the university and providing us with a suitable educational environment.

My campaign is vetted by: @bilal-salah0

https://www.tumblr.com/familyrantise2003/765359440672243712/donate-to-help-hayas-family-leave-gaza-organized?source=share

check out haya and donate if you can!

[amongsnot]

Hello my friend , I am Motaz from Gaza, 💔💔

I am going to be a father soon, and my wife and I are waiting our first baby which is so difficult during war💔😔🇵🇸

Life becomes a nightmare to both of us, we are afraid of losing our first baby due to malnutrition and diseases.💔💔🍉🇵🇸

By your support and small donations you can help me save my baby and leave Gaza💔🍉😔🙏🏻🇵🇸💔

I’m asking you to donate a small amount from $30 to $40 please it helps me a lot 🫂💜

Save my baby please 🙏🦋

please share motaz's story and donate if you can!

[amongsnot]

Dear Supporter,

I hope this message finds you and your family in good health. My name is Eman Zaqout from Gaza. I am reaching you out to seek your urgent help in spreading the word about our fundraiser. I lost both my home and my job due to the ongoing genocide in Gaza and we are facing catastrophic living conditions. 💔

I kindly ask you to visit my campaign. Your support, whether through donating or sharing, will help us reach more people who can make a difference. Thank you for your continued support for the Palestinian cause. Your dedication brings us closer to freedom. 🙏🕊

Note: Verified by several people as 90-ghost and aces-and-angels. ☑

i hope that you will be able to have the support you need soon! boosting🫶

[amongsnot]

talk about godparents and godkids so much these days you'd think i was religious