#but in my own most realistic hypothetical for the next season they probably won’t just team with each other and have that be it

[ender1821]

shinyduo/gempearl post-SL is sooo funny because before SL they were the typical "friends who like to do pranks with and against each other, partners in crime, really adorable sometimes" and then SL happened and they became OBSESSED with each other (really obvious from pearl's side since gem was more subtle) and innuendos started to appear left and right. now after WL they are not only obsessed they are also 10x times freakier and flirty. it's gem's fault a lot of the time but pearl enables it and digs herself into a deeper hole so she gets a wack too.

i am pleading to the sky for the fated shiny duo alliance to happen this year because 1) i am sure gem's possessiveness would get multiplied by 20 even if she tried to not show it and that'd be really fun + pearl would like it 2) their dynamic is so complex that they could be anything (codependent or healthy or possessive or die for each other or kill for each other or-) and 3) the aftermath of them teaming would be funny asf and the streams would be horrendous

thank you for coming to my ted talk 🙏

the freakier being in bold and italic is really getting to me for some reason lmao. anyway

you are right in the shift of them pre and post-SL, like, they are STILL giving cute partners in crime but also they’re. so. abnormal about each other??? thats not to say they weren’t flirty/making innuendos before the life series but god did all of that get worse after. also, it has kinda been shown how Gem is the one saying most of the questionable things, but Pearl definitely contributes a lot as well. lets not forget the pickles

of course we’re all manifesting for them to properly team up. its not even subtle at this point they both know that. the only things stopping it from happening really are luck and Gem’s homophobia (/j) cough. i mean. they would definitely get time to resolve what they failed to address back in WL if they’re allied together and can have time to talk. it could also make things worse but we’ll be seated either way. and then we’ll be questioning our existence again when the streams inevitably come

BUT. imo the alliance i really want is them + any other player. yep. i want a third wheel. it can literally be any other player because i think having someone else to affect/witness their dynamic is always entertaining, allows for exploration of new potentially fun dynamics between Pearl/Gem and another player while still offering plenty of opportunity for them to be. weird (/aff), and generally just gives the team a new spin instead of just Murder Camel 2.0. like. i’ve put way too much thought into this so there’s a whole ramble under cut about some of the potential trios and why i think they could be cool for a new life series

Jimmy: originally my life series s6 team predictions was pearl/gem/jimmy </3 mainly out of wanting more pearl + jimmy interactions, but i think having gem there helps just keep the team together. i thought they would be a nice team for jimmy in terms of support (think the SL scene where jimmy finds out he’s not the first out and they’re the ones there cheering him on) but well. thankfully we still had bamboozlers… anyway gem’s ego will get even worse if she had this team, and don’t we all wanna see that

Lizzie: PLEASE. impossible minecraft sent me to the point of no return because now i’m BEGGING for more pearl/gem/lizzie interactions. please. the girlies. we just need more gem + lizzie interactions in the life series imo, and we’ve already seen what happens when pearl + lizzie are together. i can’t tell you for sure if i think any betrayal will happen in this team but it would be really funny if there was, mainly just so lizzie and gem can bicker while pearl is just. There like a sad puppy. it’s cool if there isn’t though, i can see them thriving straight to the finale. cmon. think of the yuri

Ren: hey. hey. remember that one ren stream? you know the one. the wedding. do you see where i’m getting at. do you see the dynamic. it’s so funny to me ok. and we haven’t even mentioned the times where ren has mixed them up. i think it would be a horrible time for him to have to deal with these two and that’s so entertaining. if i picked jimmy because i thought he would have a nice time then for ren it’s for the complete opposite reason. make him suffer with these weirdos

Martyn: HE is the one who’s going to make them suffer. HE will be the one to make it worse. and it will be hilarious. let the man get some form of revenge for them terrorising him back in SL. they’re going to be insufferable and it’s going to be great. you might as well start the “hump duo” counter now …also i may just have a personal preference of wanting to see more pearl + martyn and gem + martyn interactions

Cleo: i mean. cmon. this one doesn’t need that much explanation. the people want a pearl/gem/cleo team

Impulse: same as cleo— SOUP GROUP ASSEMBLE!!!

Etho: pearl + etho interactions are great. gem + etho interactions are great. boom. gem gets to bully them both, then they either make a really successful trap or perform the greatest fumble ever! i see nothing but wins here

BigB: nosy neighbours… what if we tried again… plus i’m pretty sure there was a temporary gem + bigb team in RL, so why not give them a whole season. i think it would be fun. it’d be interesting to see how this team shifts with bigb’s general play style in the life series. i wonder how the base(s?) would turn out

Mumbo: listen to me. they have the funniest opportunity here to fluster this man to the high heavens. think about SL ep 5. think about it

Scar: so like. remember that 2v1? yeah. crazy, right? no but okay i don’t think if they teamed up there would be that much more emphasis on the 2v1 after all that in WL, but there WOULD be good times. i know this deep in my heart. the pearl/gem/scar interactions would go crazy. i hope they go on a hunting spree

Joel: i think this one is the least likely (on account of the fact that pearl has teamed with him in SL, and then gem doing the same in WL) but there could be beautiful world where pearl and joel build an even bigger and better car and gem just watches and sighs

Scott: insert manic laughter here. Pearlescentmoon you are about to have the worst time of your life ever

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #215

i’m not dead yet, just not into surveys very much lately.

What is your favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus. <3 Would you rather live with wolves or tigers? Hypothetically, if I wouldn't be harmed, wolves. I love social species. Have you ever forgotten what a certain kind of pain felt like? Getting my nose re-pierced like fuck man. What do you remember the most about your childhood? I think the strongest memory is my parents not getting along. Or the stories I made playing with my favorite toys. Would you rather have a pet dinosaur or have mythical creatures be real? Have mythical creatures exist. I want a tame, little dragon. Do you have a favorite toy from childhood still? Astonishingly, no. I was incredibly surprised to find out I got rid of them at some point when I wanted to add the crocodile to my room as a cute decoration and memory. What are your thoughts on the end of the world? *shrug* Not like we can do anything about it, unless you count our own carelessness as a selfish species, but that won't actually end the "world," just mankind. Which sports do you enjoy watching? Dance. Would you ever have a breed of dog that is considered aggressive? I don't want another dog, but hypothetically, yes, because no species is inherently mean. It all depends on how the owner raises it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would your childhood self be disappointed? FUCK YES SHE WOULD BE. God, the thought is depressing. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Animals and my niece. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Is it too far into imagination to say it's possible in the one we're already in? You have zombie viruses in things like bugs, so in time, something developing that can affect humans isn't out of the question. But anyway, anyone who answers "yes" to this, as in they'd like it, are full of shit. Most of us would die in a heartbeat. You'd witness others that you love die. Every day you question if you'll see the next. The zombie apocalypse has been so romanticized in many forms of media, but please, tell me you'll still be having fun when you watch your mother be eaten or some shit. Have you ever gotten into an accident with you parents’ car? No. What’s the wallpaper on your computer? A meerkat pup looking close up to the camera. What was the most difficult decision you’ve ever had to make? Deciding Jason couldn't be my entire world anymore and I had to let go. Name a band/artist you like that isn’t that popular. There's a YouTube artist named Jonathan Young that I MARVEL over the fact he's not signed with someone. My mom didn't even believe he wasn't professional the first time I played some songs in the car. Can you lift your significant other (your best friend if you’re single)? I'm certain I could. What is the first vehicle you recall your parents/guardians owning? A greenish-blue van. What was the most rebellious thing you’ve ever done? I don't know. I'm not really that rebellious. Pick one: Laundry, Dishes, or Vacuuming? I actually don't mind vacuuming. Have you ever moved and had to change schools growing up? No. Name the most meaningful thing a non-relative has done for you. When my former best friend let me live with her while we were homeless. Memories like that sometimes make me question my decision to cut her off permanently... though I remind myself the bad outweighed the good and our relationship was just never going to be stable. The highway and back roads take you to the same place; Choose your route. Depends on what's quicker to save gas. Are you more likely to give up or persist when you’re having trouble? It depends on the situation. Tbh I think I give up more often. Do you resemble one parent more than the other? I don't think so. Your best friend needs a kidney to survive; Do you give them one of yours? That's my girlfriend. So duh. Name a big life event that has taken place for you within the last 2 years. I physically met Sara. Do you end up regretting things you say often? I don't know about often. Name one thing you look forward to as you get older. Hopefully being financially stable. Do you use your hands when you talk to emphasize what you are saying? Yeah. You own a huge business; what is it? I can't even imagine myself owning a "huge" business. Are you afraid to ask for help when you know that you need it? Sometimes. Depends on who I'm asking. Name somebody you think died before their time. A LOT OF PEOPLE. I think above all of my options, Steve Irwin. Fucking saint, teacher, and pilot of conservation and loving our fellow animals. Name the possession you’ve had the longest. I have a lot of infancy stuffed animals up in the attic. You’re writing a novel; Is it horror, mystery, romance, etc.? Fantasy. Would you consider yourself an interesting person in general? I guess. I know I'm at least different. Have you ever gotten in trouble for running up your phone bill? No. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't plan on changing the style any time soon. Hopefully at some point soon I can get to the damn hair salon and get it dyed lilac, though. But it'll be expensive for a pro to do it (I'm very much so done with anyone less trying to do so, as it always fails), so that's something I don't think will come soon. It's not high on my priorities. Who was the last person to see you cry? Is this person special? I'm sure it was my mom. Probably. Of course she is. What season would you like the world to experience year-round? Autumn. When was the last time you took a picture of something? Was it yourself? Lmao it was of something funny on Facebook that I texted to Sara a few days ago. Are you currently drifting away from anyone? Who is it? No. Would you say you are really close to the members of your family? Most, no. I barely see anyone outside my immediate fam. Is there anyone who lives in the same house as you, that you can’t stand? The stupid dog. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? No, but it was likely RP-related. Think of the last person you kissed, when was the first time you talked to them on the phone? She knows I hate talking over the phone, so we use Skype to talk. I think the first time I called her via phone though was when I was having an emotional breakdown. What does your phone do when you get a new message? It makes the sound from Spyro when you pick up gems if it's not on vibrate, and when the screen goes black, a green light blinks. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Who was the last person you were in a car with? Mom. Do you party too much? I never did. Who were you last on the phone with? I answered a number I didn't recognize, and it wound up being some bullshit about my car warranty or something when I don't even have a car. I just hung up the moment I knew what it was. Last movie you watched? The Lion King live action remake. Incredible. If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Fuck, I want collarbone dermals so badly. Do you like holding hands? With Sara. Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked? Yes. What are you listening to? "Third Day of a Seven Day Binge" by Manson is on rn. Do your parents allow you to date? I'm 23. They never really restricted me from it. Then again, I started dating in the 7th grade, so I was older than most first couples. Have you ever had a serious conversation with your dad? Yes. Would you rather have long or short hair? I could not be happier than I have short hair now. It's so much easier to manage, and it really did me well chopping it all off considering my bad self-care episodes. I recommend it soooo much to anyone struggling with that. Do you want to have children? Big No. Do you think you’ll have the same boyfriend/girlfriend a year from now? Realistically, yes. How old were you when you stopped sleeping with a nightlight? I don't know. What topic did you write your last essay about? This awful book "Masters of Doom" or whatever I had to read in game design in college, I think. Whose car did you ride in last other than yours? Dad's. What was the last clothing article you purchased? Some pants. Who was the last person that made you cry [accidentally or on purpose]? Probably myself. Is there construction going on in/near your neighborhood? No. Who did you go/plan on going with to prom? I went to Jason's senior prom and he came to mine. What language[s] did you study in school? Latin for one awful semester, then German for four. I miss German, honestly. Have you ever been to a debate and speech tournament? Hell no, that sounds so boring. Choose two dead celebs who could be your biological parents - explain why? Steve Irwin for my incredible love of animals and uh... I'm not sure about a mom? I thought about this for like two minutes and really don't know lmao. If you were living in the past, which job that doesn’t exist anymore would you like to have? No idea. Which animal are you afraid of? Most afraid of, probably some spiders, like huntsmen spiders. I'm afraid of most spiders in general (if they're near me or in my house, anyway), I cannot stand maggots and larvae of that sort, and whale sharks freak me out. AND WASPS. FUCK WASPS. How would your wedding bouquet look like? *shrugs* It would probably depend on the wedding theme. What kind of game would you like to play that doesn’t exist yet? I can't even swallow how unbelievable Shadow of the Colossus would be in VR. What is one thing you would never ever eat? Escargot. Is there a music video that you would like to see turned into a movie or a TV show? Which one? *shrugs* Which character in your favorite movie do you hate the most? It's impossible to hate any from TLK. How do you think the world will end? A meteor striking, or a deadly volcano going boom. Either way, it's gonna be smoke shrouding the sun. Do you own anything clown related? No. If you were a celebrity - which celebs you would befriend? Y'all done know one, but I think the celeb I would connect to most and most easily befriend would be Shane Dawson. He is such a goddamn sweetheart, chill as fuck, and #relatable. There's really a lot... All YT-related lmao. Except Bindi Irwin. Damn, would I love to meet her. If you were going to make a horror movie that you would be scared of yourself, what would it be about/how would it look like? I can't handle those movies about women being raped and impregnated by a demon and shit. I can't. Fuck The Rite. If you could take a pill that would cure something in you that isn’t an illness - what would you be cured off? How ungodly shy and awkward I am. Ew. Do you like Rihanna? I don't know most of her music, but I don't enjoy most pop, so. Have you ever experienced hydroplaning? Not severely, anyway, and not while I was driving. What’s your opinion on the legalization of weed? Legalize it medicinally. What’s your current favorite song? Man idk. Have you ever hit a girl? I hit my sister once as a kid. What was your New Year's resolution? I don't make them. Do you find Eminem attractive? Not particularly. Are you wearing nail polish? I never do. Have you ever been/considered being vegetarian? I was for a couple months and definitely plan on going back to it once I get to the weight I want... if that ever fucking happens. What’s the last concert you went to? Alice Cooper. Do you own a cat? Yes. :') He's my best buddy. Do you like cats? I love cats. Do you like watching music videos? No. How are your grades? I'm not back in school yet. But SOON. Do you listen to Aerosmith? YO "Love In An Elevator" just finished on my iTunes. I love them. Have you climbed a tree in the past month? I never have. Were you ugly in middle school? Jfc save that child. What’s your type? CHARISMATIC. Stand out, man, and be proud of it. Having a smart head isimportant, too. Having a loving heart. Have a good sense of humor. Don't judge. Do you sleep with one of those mask things on your face? No. Have you ever straightened your hair? Yes. What kind of calculator do you use? The one on my phone or laptop. Have you ever seriously tried to count the stars? Lol no. Did you see the lunar eclipse? I'm guessing you're talking about the biggie from early this year? Yes. It was incredible. Do you have a bank account? No. Did you go on vacation last summer? What's a "vacation?" Where to? N/A Have you ever been in a choir? At church as a kid as well as elementary school. Are you happy with your looks? No. Have you ever gone streaking? You couldn't have paid me to do so even when I was in great shape. Are any of your siblings married? Yes. Were you in the wedding party? Yes. Have you ever seen a ghost? I've sure as hell seen something. Do you even believe in ghosts? I absolutely do. Have you ever had an eating disorder? Thank God no. What big corporation(s) do you support, particularly because you like what they stand for (many vegan items, donate large amount of money to charities, pay their workers a living wage, etc)? I'm really not educated on the morals behind most businesses. Oh, I do know Jeffree Star's products are entirely vegan and cruelty-free though, so his company definitely is one. If you wear foundation or have in the past, what type of applicator do you use (beauty sponge, foundation brush, fingers, etc)? Is there a type of applicator that doesn’t work for you? I've always just used my hands because we don't have anything else for foundation, I think. For those of you that do listen/watch ASMR videos, what are your favorite “triggers”? If you don’t watch ASMR, what are your thoughts on the whole phenomenon that seemed to happen the past couple years over it? I don't listen to it, but I don't care if others do. It doesn't do anything for me. I personally find the talking ones super uncomfortable, but if someone likes that, whatever. Are there any true crime cases that bother you immensely because of the story or verdict of the court case (ex. OJ Simpson)? I know there're some I've seen on Facebook and such. Do you use store loyalty programs? If you don’t use them, what is your reasoning behind that? What store loyalty programs do you feel offer the best incentives, regardless if you aren’t a member of them? I think I am for Hot Topic? I know I have a card for there. I think Sam's Club is a great place to have membership; that place has some damn deals. Mom used to be one, as well as an employee, and that shit was great. When it comes to skincare, what product could you not go without over the other ones? Where are you most likely to shop for your skincare needs? I could go without any, save of course for a wet washcloth. If I get something for skincare, it's just gonna be at Wal-Mart. Regardless if you aren’t someone who hoards or keeps stuff for a long time, what is one (type of) item that you have a hard time getting rid of? STUFFED ANIMALS. FUCKING CHRIST. If you eat meat, what is at least one vegan item (not necessarily a banana) that you like or would like trying (such as trying a soy ham substitute)? If you don’t eat meat, what is one meat item that you like and understand why people eat it? I have no idea. Being vegan just sounds... gah. I couldn't imagine. Major respect for vegans, man. What is a food that is always better homemade? How about a food that is always better at a restaurant? I don't know about the homemade one. Maybe like... cobblers? Meanwhile, steaks tend to be better at restaurants, I've found. If you watched teen dramas growing up (such as 90210 or One Tree Hill), which one was your favorite or you liked the best? If you watched family sitcoms growing up (such as Full House or The Fresh Prince), which one was your favorite or liked the best? I'm not sure if I watched teen dramas. For family sitcoms, ummm... I loooooooooooved/still love The Nanny. I like the two mentioned as well. What is a tradition either within your country or family that you feel is not needed or could in fact even be bad (ex. using paper plates for every party, eating hot dogs every weekend during the summer, etc)? Getting drunk as a motherfucker on New Year's Eve. Is there something you said you wouldn’t do, but in the end you did it? Yeah, a few things. Are you originally an American, or are you some other kind of nationality? I'm just American, save for like, if ancestry is involved. Then I originate from Europe. Do you sometimes pretend to do things you don't know how to do? No? What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? Hm, I don't know. Have you ever had one of those pregnancy scares? When did this take place? Two completely unrealistic ones in high school. Are you someone who puts ranch dressing on everything you eat? No. Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? Not to my knowledge. What, to you, is the best way a guy can smell? Give examples? I personally like gentle colognes. How many times a day, on average, do you think critically about something? Twice or so. Are you someone who speaks their mind, or do you hold it all in? It depends. Where do you work at this moment in time? Does this place have insurance? I don't currently work bc I can't be a functioning adult in a work environment without collapsing into panic attacks. :^) If you have tattoos, which one that you have was the most painful? The inside of my forearm. Are you currently in the process of ‘bettering’ yourself as a person? I'm trying to grow more independent. What is something you tend to not be able to stand in the least bit at all? Anti-LGBT bullshit. OH BOY, or anti-vax insanity. Do not even interact with me if you're a "vaccines cause autism" imbecile. Does it make you angry when people complain an excessive amount around you? If it's over stupid shit or an issue you brought about yourself, then yes. At what age did you actually hit puberty? Was it hard for you to handle? I don't remember, and yes, it was. I remember crying outside the day I got my first period because I realized I wasn't a kid anymore. Are you considered a graceful person or are you more clumsy? I'm the clumsiest fuck you'll meet in your entire life. Have you ever sucked in helium? Did your voice change at all? No. Do you know any girls who have an overly manly voice and features? Girls can't be "overly manly," just as men can't be "overly feminine." Do you play any sports? If so, did you meet new friends that way? I did, and yes. Do people ever make fun of you for something you really can't help? No. Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? No. Have you ever tried chocolate chip waffles? Are they now your favorite? Yes; no. What company are you signed up for car insurance, if any at all? N/A Are you someone who really likes to cook? What’s your favorite meal? No. Are you the candle lighting type? I prefer incense. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? If he looks anything like he did, yeah. But I haven't even seen a picture of him in forever. Coffee in the morning, yay or nay? Don't like coffee. Do you ever drink your coffee black? N/A Body waxing, yay or nay? Ow, I would never do it. Honeymoon, where? I'd love the pink beaches of the Bahamas... but fuck Bermuda's Triangle, my conspiracy theory ass ain't going near that shit lmao. The black beach in I think... Scotland or whatever will do. Anal sex, yay or nay? Never tried, never will. The concept just really grosses me out. Has anyone ever written on you? Probably. Have you ever dated a fat person? I'd prefer the term "overweight," but w/e, once or twice depending on if you count one relationship as "dating." How many foreign friends do you have? In which countries do they live? Quite a few, having been on the Internet so long... I've got some in Europe and one in Australia. How long have you known the oldest friend you have? "Old" as in who I've had the longest? Since I was ten, I think. If you include my "real" friends. What’s the most interesting story you’ve never told anybody? Good question. When’s the last time you went to a bookstore? What did you buy? Last year when we were threatened by a really bad hurricane. I got The Fault In Our Stars and only read like... ten pages lmao. It wasn't because the book was bad, I just don't read anymore. What’s the most complicated meal you’ve cooked? Hunty I can't cook. I've cooked scrambled eggs and spaghetti like once lmao. What is truly attractive to you? Wisdom, for one. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, yeah. What is something you value a lot in your life? The fact I have my mom in my life hit me first. I. Don't know where the fuck I'd be in life right now if my mom wasn't here with me. Whose hand did you hold last? Sara's. What was the last thing you planted? Oh boy, I have no idea. Oh wait, years ago I grew habaneros only to find out non-pickled ones are fucking gross. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? I have no clue. I don't really do that. Did anything exciting happen just before you went to sleep last night? Well, my cat literally peed on Mom. That was "exciting." When’s the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? I don't know. What’s the most selfless act you have done? Man, a lot of "I don't know" in this one. You see a spider web in the corner of your room. What do you do? I'm finding that guy or moving. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. How do you like your favorite beverage? Cold. What’s your big family secret? We don't have one. Do you answer the phones at your work? I don't have a job. Have you ever given up on someone and then went back to them? Many, many times with my former best friend. Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night? I do every single night, and it sucks ass. What shows do you watch? None. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes? Yeah. When’s the last time you had a headache? I think I had a mild one a few days ago? I don't remember. My days are sooo blurred together. Do you know anyone who has been arrested? Yes. Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? A whole lot. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating of on you? Yeah, because of his ex and a believable lie. It was ultimately a good thing that that was what immediately turned me away though, as I don't want to imagine how a long-term relationship with him would've gone, honestly. Who was the last person you kissed? Sara. Do you still talk to the person who hurt you the most in life? No. Who’s the last person you sent a friend request to? I've no clue. I don't really send requests because I don't know more friends on there. Is anyone in your family a criminal? Not by blood. Who was the last person you told to shut up? I don't recall; I don't tell people to shut up, generally. I haven't had a confrontation in a long time, besides the occasional arguments with my mom, and I wouldn't tell her to shut up. What was the last thing you lied to your mother about? I don't remember. Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No. Name a song that reminds you of a past relationship: I could name 50 that remind me of Jason and myself if I cared enough to. Do you think anyone hates you? One person probably does, at least. What do you think your last ex would say about you? I don't know, but probably something nice. He's my closest friend irl. Do you still talk to the first person you fell in love with? No. Do you still want the last person that hurt you to have a happy life? Yeah. Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? No. I, along with like every girl in class, found a former band teacher attractive, but I definitely didn't have an actual crush on the dude. Thank God considering he was eventually fired for relations with a student. Why did your last relationship end? I learned I didn't like him romantically, and also because I discovered I liked Sara instead. How long did it take you to get over your last heartbreak? A year and a half. And that's just when I started moving on. Do you know anyone that looks up to you? I doubt it. Which one of your friends is always serious? I don't think any qualify for that. Are there any people in your life that you wish you never met? Yeah. Do people think you’re a bad person? Probably someone. Do they also think that you’re a slut? I don't see how a single person could think that. Are you with the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever been punched? No. How many people do you know that have been to jail? Multiple. Three off the very top of my head. Do you know anyone that sells drugs? I don't think so? Do you know anyone that does drugs? Yes. Do you care about what’s happening in other countries? Well yeah. I care about the world being a good, safe place. Do you think you have a pretty good reputation? I guess, at least as far as being a decent person goes. Meanwhile, I'm sure my rep as being a proper adult and such is shit. Where do you see yourself in 25 years? I don't want to think of that. You’re at a bar, you witness a man drugging some girls drink. What do you do? I'm not even REMOTELY kidding, I'm knocking the fucker OUT, calling the cops, and of course telling the girl. Fuck that guy getting out of that without a black eye. Who is more attractive, someone who is edgy or preppy? I could never, ever be attracted to a preppy person, so guess. I wouldn't want an excessively edgy person either, but I'm NOT into the preppy jazz. Short term dating, or long relationship? I've always been about long-term relationships. Kids? How many? Why? Names? Boy or girl? *Bugs Bunny "no" meme* Ever play that game MASHO?? "I’ve played MASH. I don’t know if MASHO is similar or something different entirely." <<< Same. A sad child, skinny and underfed, approaches you. What do you do? Obviously ask them what's up if they approach me, and from there, it would depend on what they tell me. I'd most likely call the cops first about a child like that because I wouldn't know the appropriate place to actually call; if the kid is underfed to an obvious degree, odds are I shouldn't find their parents first. I'd think it wiser to get some kind of officer to do so and determine if that child should even be with those people for their own good. What happens after death? I hope some kind of peace, but who really knows. Would you cheat on your BF/GF if you knew they would never know? No??????? Because I would know?????????????? And I have a conscience???????????????????????? Do you think there will ever be peace on earth? Why or why not? No. People as a whole can't get along and too many find violence to be the ultimate solution to big problems. Favorite childhood story growing up? I remember I particularly liked Stellaluna because of the drawings, and I enjoyed the actual story of Chrysanthemum. Worst way to die? Why? Some form of slow torture, I'm sure. Because if you've gotta die, make it quick. And humane. What were you in school? Jock, nerd, prep etc… I was recognized as an emo/metalhead thing. Did you ever eat playdoh at a child? I don't think so. Your dreams tend to be? As of the late, violent, at least those that I remember... I wake up attacking the air a lot. Describe your aesthetic? A quiet pastel bunny and a furious but awkward gothic demon are aggressively fucking 24/7 while trying to decide who's top and who's bottom. Do you believe in the afterlife? I believe in something. What book have you re-read so many times that the cover is completely worn? None. Are you a morning person or a night person? I'm in a brighter mood in the morning. Who do you most admire? There're multiple people I look up to for different things. But as for most, yeah, probably Mark. What is your favorite thrift/antique shop find? I love this shipwreck lamp that I have. What is the most incredible place in nature you’ve visited? The mountains. What is your greatest achievement? Still being alive lmao. Is something expensive better than something made with love? Almost never. What do you think of stealing? Uh, don't do it??????? If you could be told when you were going to die, would you want to know? NO. What would you do in case of the zombie apocalypse? Die very early on lmao. Okay but realistically, I'd want to climb somewhere. I'm going to assume a zombie can't figure out ladders 'n shit. What have you learned from pain? You yourself play a big part in making things better. Are you more worried about doing things right or doing the right thing? Doing the right thing. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Eat biscuits like a fucking caveman by separating parts and eating each individually lol. Would you ever adopt a child? If I actually wanted a kid, yeah. If you could make anything glow in the dark, what would it be? *shrugs* Could you ever picture someone writing a biography about you? Hell no, my life's uneventful as could be.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

The Good Place 2x10 “Best Self" Review: What Does It Mean To Be Human?

By Sam Makowski

After the frenetic events of last episode, this episode opens upon a unique premise: the fake Good Place is entirely empty except for the four humans, a demon, and an artificial intelligence (not a robot). This allows the full half hour to focus entirely on the six main characters and their relationships with each other as they strive to reach the real Good Place.

“Best Self” serves as both an ending and a beginning, closing the chapter on this neighbourhood that the characters have occupied since the pilot, and thrusting them into the unknown. As it does so, it reflects on how far they’ve come since that beginning. As they have no way to get into the Good Place, Shawn (the Demon Boss) will soon return and send them to the Bad Place (and Michael into early retirement).

It’s Tahani who figures out the only possible way out of this sticky mess: to go “speak to the manager,” AKA the judge who presides over disputes between the Good Place and the Bad Place. Unfortunately, the only way to get there is to make it through the actual Bad Place unseen, and even then the chances of them winning their case and being allowed into the Good Place are vanishing small.

But Eleanor displays yet another endearing human tendency (to attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence, ready to fail spectacularly) and declares, “What have we got to lose?”

What It Means To Be Human

My favourite aspect of this episode was the questions it raised (and facetiously answered) about being human. The gate to the hot air balloon, which someone must be the best version of themselves in order to pass through, provides opportunity for the humans—specifically Eleanor and Chidi—to reflect upon how much they have changed since their time on Earth.

Chidi, unsurprisingly, gets caught up in the semantics of “best version”: after all, he asks, if this is the 802nd time Michael has rebooted them and they have no memory of the first 801 times, how can they possibly know that this version of themselves is the best?

It’s Eleanor who steps in, with her wisdom that is becoming less surprising as the show wears on, to tell Chidi that as he is the one who enabled the rest of them to become their best selves, he is already the best version of himself. As Chidi realizes, “So, in a way, it doesn’t matter if I was better in version 492 or whatever, because the best version of me is just as much about my effect on the world around me as it is about my own egocentric self-image.”

Having convinced himself that Eleanor is correct, Chidi is able to pass through the gate without a problem. But now it’s Eleanor who gets turned back, as she’s remembered the video of her and Chidi at Mindy’s house (something that has been weighing on her with increasing heaviness since Mindy revealed it to her) and how vulnerable and emotional and honest she had been with him, in a way this version of herself wasn’t. So doesn’t that mean that Version 119 of Eleanor was better than Version 802?

Which leads to the question: is what you believe about yourself the most accurate representation of your character? Must you believe yourself to be a good person to actually be a good person, or is it how others perceive you that’s more important?

(The main question it raised for me was one not addressed by the show: if one is the best version of one’s self, does that mean there is no longer any room for improvement? As—and this is something the show has impressed upon us frequently—humans can constantly strive to better themselves, is it even possible to become a best version?)

Of course, in the end Michael reveals that the hot air balloon was a sham because he doesn’t actually know how to get into the Good Place, although he has tried over a billion possible solutions.

Michael’s development from a cold-hearted demon into a demon with emotions has been by far one of the best things about Season 2 (here we see him feeling “What’s it called, where you did a thing and you’re sad after it?”) and he is always the one who provides the most astute observations about humankind.

Those observations range from disparaging—“You humans have so many emotions! You only need two: anger and confusion”-—to genuine pleasure at the inanities of human nature: “A stress ball with a dumb corporate logo. Oh, I can’t wait to keep finding this and then almost throw it away and then think, ‘No, I’ll use it!’”

Michael has always exhibited these dualities, as far back as Season 1. He’ll ridicule humans in the same sentence as longing to be more like them. It’s unclear whether this is a common attribute among demons, or whether it left Michael uniquely susceptible to Chidi and Eleanor’s attempts to humanize him.

While there is little doubt that Michael is currently the best version of himself, the same cannot be said of Janet, who—torn between her nature as a computer whose operating system is constantly being updated and her unresolved feelings for Jason, made more complicated by her own increasing humanity after each progressive reboot—breaks the scale when it can’t determine whether she is or isn’t the best version or herself. Janet is no longer just a computer program, she’s something else entirely.

Which leads us to one of the probable themes of these season. Neither demons nor computers are human, and yet both Michael and Janet are shown becoming more and more so. This begs the question:

What does it mean to be human?

Chidi and Eleanor: Soulmates?

Eleanor’s feelings for Chidi are in full force this episode, from the numerous longing looks she gave him while convincing him he was the best version of himself, to laying her head on his shoulder while they danced, to outright telling him that she has feelings for him, since they’ll all be sent to the Bad Place come morning.

Unfortunately for Eleanor, Chidi doesn’t yet appear to return those feelings, even going so far as to hope that soulmates actually do exist—”I mean, you know, for all of us,” he hastily corrects when noticing the glum expression on Eleanor’s face.

It seems hard to believe that the show won’t eventually put these two together, as they have been written that way ever since Season 1, when they both believed they were each other’s soulmates. In many of the reboots since, they were not purposefully made to be each other’s soulmates, and yet in every single version they came back to each other. Which, to me, is one of the most classic definitions of “soulmate”.

Do soulmates exist? I suspect in the way the show originally introduced them, the answer is no. A soulmate is not someone you’re given, it’s someone you choose. Eleanor and Chidi choose each other, over and over, in every version of their reality Michael can think to throw at them. If that’s not a soulmate, then what is?

I think Eleanor is perhaps closer to these realizations than Chidi is (because Chidi, who gets trapped between the smallest of choices, would much rather have a soulmate assigned than have to choose one himself) but the journey these two will continue to go on will hopefully have them both actively realizing that choosing to be with each other is all that it takes to be “meant to be.”

Chidi’s admission that he wishes he and Eleanor had met under more normal circumstances (although he has no realistic idea of what those might be) as well as bringing her hand up to his heart while they danced are hopeful indications that he may have feelings for her, too, they’re just inaccessible at the moment.

Highway to Hell

The episode ends with the gang on a train, willfully bound for the Bad Place. With them, the show transitions out of its established setting (with the neighbourhood literally dissolving behind them as they leave) and thrusts both the protagonists and the audience into the unknown.

This is uncharted territory, so what can we expect to come next?

Season 1 was about Michael’s mini-experiment of creating a Bad Place that mimics the Good Place, and torturing human beings for eternity with their most persistent fears and anxieties. The fact that every single attempt he made failed is a testament to the tenacity of humans and the lengths that we will go to solve problems, as well as the everlasting hope we have that things will get better. This persistence and hope was ultimately the undoing of Michael’s plot, each of the 802 times he tried.

Season 2 was a mini-experiment in itself, as Chidi, Eleanor, Tahani, and Jason attempted to improve their own as well as Michael’s moral standing in order to be accepted into the Good Place. This experiment—one which had a positive goal in mind, rather than a negative one—is ultimately successful, as Michael declares himself fully on the humans’ side despite being previously offered his dream job by Shawn, and in this episode is awarded the title of “Honorary Human”.

Both of these experiments took place in this neighbourhood that is a Bad Place dressed as a Good Place: first actively trying to live up to its first name, and then actively trying to live up to its second. As it’s the second experiment that succeeded as they leave this neighbourhood behind, I’m hoping that we’ll get to see it on a bigger scale as the characters transit through the real Bad Place.

After all, if they were able to turn a demon like Michael into an honorary human, what’s to stop them from doing the same to other demons?

If these people who were destined for the Bad Place managed to improve themselves enough to be allowed into the Good Place, then shouldn’t those currently in the Bad Place be offered the same chance?

I think this ethical question will weigh particularly hard on Chidi—although the others have been learning from him and will likely wonder the same—once they’re inside the Bad Place and seeing firsthand what tortures humans like them are undergoing. It will no longer be hypothetical, it will be bone-chillingly real.

So how can we expect humans who have only strengthened their moral compass to witness the torture of people like them and at the end ask only for salvation for themselves? We can’t.

My ultimate hope for this series is that we see a complete upset of this system that has been in place since the beginning of time, and this episode took us one step closer to getting there.

Footnotes:

“I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.” “Oh, come on, everyone knows that’s worse!”

Considering last week Shawn deadpanned “Can’t you tell? I’m squealing like a little girl,” the texts that he sent to Michael this week had me rolling. “so random 😂”

I didn’t get the chance to talk about it in my main post, but I really appreciated the character work put into Tahani this week. Her realization that she’s the only one who can fix the situation for herself is an important one and one a lot of real people have to come to terms with at some point.

Michael’s elation at receiving a box full of human things (“Bandaids! For your stupid, fragile bodies!”) was both pure and endearing.

“I’m pretty good at turning every place I go into my personal hell, so I think they’ll have a lot of options for me.” Oh, Chidi. I truly hope he finds a way to ease his anxieties at some point.

Jason continues to fall flat for me. Outside of being the fulcrum in the bizarre Tahani-Jason-Janet love triangle, his only purpose seems to be to provide comic relief. As it’s the type of humour that generally falls flat for me, I could do without most of his contributions.

“In a way, the Good Place was inside the Bad Place all along.” Besides being a good line, I wonder if this aphorism will be something that still holds true as they enter the real Bad Place.

[junker-town]

What the Nets can learn as they wait for Kevin Durant

The Nets are stuck in basketball purgatory, at least for now

Last season, the Brooklyn Nets were 19-21 after 40 games. This year they’re 18-22, having dropped nine of their last 11 while ranked 24th in offensive rating. Brooklyn’s schedule is currently a torture rack, with upcoming games against the Milwaukee Bucks, Philadelphia 76ers, and Los Angeles Lakers; after Wednesday’s nationally-televised loss against the Joel Embiid-less Sixers, Kyrie Irving threw half his teammates under the bus by publicly confirming the shortcomings he believes they have.

Whether Irving is right or wrong is besides the point, but also not significant enough to fuss over. Right now the Nets are lurching through a storm that isn’t strong enough to destabilize their long-term vision. Injuries—and the accompanying stringent approach towards recovery/prevention that falls somewhere between extreme caution and short-term apathy—are a huge reason why this team hasn’t taken any meaningful strides during their initial go around as a franchise that matters.

Even though Spencer Dinwiddie, Joe Harris, Jarrett Allen, and Taurean Prince (their 218-pound power forward in just about every lineup that plays meaningful minutes) have yet to miss any time, Irving and Caris LeVert have sat through a combined 51 games. Throw in Wilson Chandler’s 25-game suspension and Kevin Durant’s expected absence, and what you have is a rotation that’s had to patch itself together with the likes of Dzanan Musa, Theo Pinson, Timothé Luwawu-Cabarrot, and Nicolas Claxton at various points over the past few months.

This isn’t ideal, but also far from an outright disaster. Brooklyn’s future was always going to be more compelling than its past or present. Right now so much of the organization’s relevance is tied into the anticipatory fulfillment of goals that have rarely, if ever, felt realistic.

With no way to simulate the next nine months and fast-forward into a future where Irving and Durant are tyrannizing the Eastern Conference, stakes for this season have always been a bit unconventional: Wins and losses matter, but only as an extension of how it affects their collective development into a group that can ultimately have all its problems solved by plopping one of the most carnivorous scorers who ever lived into their starting lineup.

Until then, pretty much everybody is healthy, gifting Brooklyn’s coaching staff and front office with an opportunity to finally evaluate what it has, how it should play, and who works in which lineups. The main questions surround their three best players: Irving, LeVert, and Dinwiddie.

The first half-season of Brooklyn’s Irving-Durant era was plagued by interruption and dominated by Dinwiddie, the cunning overseer of an offense that relied on him to manufacture quality looks, get to the free-throw line, and attack the basket more often than basically anybody else in the entire NBA. (Since Dinwiddie became a starter the only player averaging more drives is Trae Young, who does it 0.1 times more per game.)

During Irving’s 26-game absence, Dinwiddie turned Barclays Center into his own canvas for self-elevation; as a starter, he’s logging 22 points and 7.1 assists with the same usage rate as Bradley Beal. No player has done a better job taking advantage of an unforeseen opportunity than he has. But now that Irving and LeVert are back, the Nets are faced with a good problem: How do you maximize the strengths of three All-Star-caliber players without diluting what makes each one so potent?

Flipping the script from how things looked on opening night, LeVert is now coming off the bench while Dinwiddie starts beside Irving. But the groupings are fluid, with some lineups featuring all three, most having at least two, and some that let one cook by himself. The earliest returns are mixed: a little your-turn-my-turn motionlessness with a pinch of more cohesive actions that don’t bail the defense out sprinkled on top.

Assuming a decent stretch of good health is in Brooklyn’s future, the chance to make it work with all three could be instrumental as they evaluate what’s best once this season is over. In a whopping 38 minutes, units featuring Irving, LeVert, and Dinwiddie are posting a 124.7 offensive rating, sizzling through the trepidation associated with too many ball-dominant scorers trying to eat at the same time.

Here’s what Kenny Atkinson had to say about the trio after Wednesday’s loss against the Sixers: “It wasn’t jelling. I have to admit that. ... We’re just going to have to find what that combination looks like. I think it’ll be game-to-game. It’s a feel...I thought they were good the night before. Tonight it wasn’t perfect. That’s something we have to look at the next two days.”

Remove LeVert from the equation and Brooklyn has been pretty good in 200 minutes with just Irving and Dinwiddie, stiff-arming a noticeable size disadvantage on the glass to outscore opponents by 6.1 points per 100 possessions. Assuming the Nets don’t sell high on Dinwiddie before this year’s trade deadline (a deal centered around Orlando’s Aaron Gordon would make sense for everyone involved) this trio has a chance to create serious matchup problems for almost everyone they play.

The predictable concern is that they’ll revert into formulaic hero ball—understandable whenever Irving is part of the equation—instead of leveraging each other’s gravity in selfless ways. The Nets can probably win enough games to make the playoffs with a steady diet of isolation basketball, but the latter mindset is necessary for actual championship contention.

It’s never too early to build those habits, and the Nets have figured out ways to use Dinwiddie off the ball, curling him around stagger screens for catch-and-shoot threes he should be able to hit at a respectable clip.

Picking up where that last play left off is this iteration, where Dinwiddie starts in the corner, but instead of coming off Prince’s second screen he drifts into the paint. Several options that involve everyone on the floor then take shape, beginning with an Irving-Prince pick-and-roll that’s designed to generate a corner three for Dinwiddie, who sprints there off Allen’s screen. When the Jazz take that away, Irving pitches the ball back to Prince, who gets his shoulders by Royce O’Neale while Allen rumbles in as a lob threat.

Both these plays came with LeVert on the bench, but when you watch Brooklyn play with all three out there it’s unnerving, in a positive way. No lead is safe. And if they need even more punch, replacing Prince with Harris creates an intriguing five-man lineup that Atkinson should close a bunch of games with in the future.

Very few teams can put the type of pressure on a defense that Brooklyn can. Here they are at their best, in a dueling banjos sequence where two pick-and-rolls lead to an open three.

If a defense must be locked in on a string to stop just one Irving pick-and-roll, imagine how mentally exhausting it would be to exhale after he kicks it back to Allen, only to realize another pick-and-roll, with another excellent attacker, is about to happen.

Once minutes restrictions are lifted it’s hard to envision a meaningful possession being played with only one of these three in the game. From here on out, it’ll be fascinating to see how they co-exist. Every team in the league that’s interested in prying LeVert or Dinwiddie away will be paying close attention, but so much of Brooklyn’s analysis is engaged with a hypothetical projection into the future.

Everything changes next year, when (at least) 18 shots per game will suddenly get sucked up by a healthy Durant. It’s here where talent, as overwhelming as it’d be, isn’t enough, particularly when it’s not possible to deploy in seamlessly complementary ways.

Dinwiddie is on the best non-rookie scale/max contract in the league, but he can become a free agent in 2021, where his market value will exceed what Brooklyn should be willing to pay. On the court, his most meaningful contributions are already provided by Irving, which would theoretically render him a spot-up threat (who’s only made 32.5 percent of his open/wide-open threes this season) in spots that really matter. Championship teams need players who bloom in roles that support the team’s true star(s), and it’s just hard to picture a lineup with KD, Kyrie, Dinwiddie, LeVert, and a center having the hierarchical structure—let alone two-way fortitude—that’s necessary when battling through a tough playoff series.

As of now, the Nets are all but locked into a seven or eight seed, where they’ll likely face off against the Milwaukee Bucks, Boston Celtics, or Miami Heat. They won’t be favored in any of those series, but they have half a season to embrace a less self-serving system that can crack the glass ceiling that hangs overhead. An upset would be nice, but establishing trust and building chemistry should be the greater priority.

How that all unfolds over the next few weeks and months will really matter for a team that has inevitable championship aspirations. Until Durant returns, Brooklyn is stuck in somewhat of a basketball purgatory, where self-discovery matters more than anything else. It’s weird. It’s frustrating. It’s what they signed up for.