#i am mentally unstable and i will make you mentally unstable too <3 with love

[eurypotpourrie]

·٠•●۩۩★♦ 𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔬𝔡𝔲𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔱 ♦★۩۩●•٠·

hello! i'm eurydice, but you can call me eury, or rye cheese, or anything you want, really. i'm a poet (not really, but my friends would call me one) and artist, and sometimes a model (though i've pretty much stopped now).

name : eury age : 18 pronouns : she/her gender : girl (sometimes rabid dog) sexuality : the fact that you think i know is a you problem, not a me problem relationships : that sounds illegal ethnicity : indian + arab. so mostly traumatised talents : pissing people off, throwing things, R.A.B (resting as a bitch phase) writing about grief, singing, cigarettes what i do : i'm a student. i'm also sometimes a model but i hate being on print, so it's mostly live shows near where i live what i don't do : most things. like...exist normally

t.v shows : good omens (used to be), brooklyn nine nine, gossip girl (to an extent), percy jackson, blue bloods, f.r.i.e.n.d.s, young sheldon books : all of them. any book ever. if i haven't read it, give it to me. i will now music : goth rock, hiphop and indie folk

you should follow them. that is a threat

@forflightlessbirds (padre) @pearatwar (my bite pillow) @im-on-crack-send-help (the prettiest girl in the world) @this-machine-runs-on-coffee (i love ALL reblogs go see them now) @totally-not-a-commie (LIL SIB <333) @charliecow (my chaco chip) (MATCHING HEADERS!!!) @sacrifical-lamb-core (i would die on a hill w this moot) @mcshizzle-the-fire-boy (VERY VERY COOL HAIR) @need-a-name-101 (older sister, AMAZING fic writer) @irateturtles (my pookie. go hug rn) @evemooniepeach (effortlessly cool <333) @circe-butbetter (TWIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN) @urmumsfan (president of my heart) @wastedonthesebutterflies (MY FAV POET GO READ EVERYTHING) @mi-stress-of-chaos (i want to eat her blog its so mwah) @shrimpler (SNOOPY!! and if that wasn't enough he's gen so cool) @weebotaku21 (LOVE the recs. obsessed w her) @somewhereincairparavel (tastes like the best mint candy <33) @i-eat-homeless-people (impeccable vibes, gremlin <3) @ezeklies (BEST fic reccomender EVER. the remus to my sirius) @garden-of-runar (queen of my heart. i would kill for her) @gasolinehornet (buzz buzz his art is scrumptious) @yuuricino (IM BEGGING PLS blog is so artsy cool and fun and mysterious and i love love it. 'fuck this stupid baka life') @areyoubeingsirius (maurauders hcs for DAYSSS ily pookie) @olliegolliegee (house md and this boy has the funniest sense of humor ever) @sagwasagwa (SO PRETTY SO GORG) @adambadeau (obsessed with history its so cool sam ftw) (i stalk him regularly. i will fight u if u dont) @finleyforevermore (MY SWEETEST YOUNGER BROTHER everyone get out i am ready to maul a bear for him) @dyinginisolation (MY OTHER YOUNGER BROTHER would cause catastrophic ruin to the world if he asked. we would do it together, as a bonding exercise) @derrypubliclibrary (ANOTHER SIBLING <33 abolutely love the vibes, so fun. be nice to them or ill ferment ur trachea)

certified biter.

[ash-says]

Things to be aware of as a Hopeless Romantic:

We all have been there daydreaming about the perfect man, the perfect life, the perfect whatever,etc. Still life is not full of roses and thorns are inevitable.

So here are some aspects to look out for according to me so that you won't fall in the delulu is the only solulu trap.

Remember if you follow me, we don't do regrets here. We accept, take accountability and move on. We don't soak ourselves in problems. We solve them effectively.

1) Drop those rose-colored glasses. Crush them under your feet and now look at the world again. Learn to accept reality. It is what it is. Not what you make it out to be. Learn to become an observer of your life from time to time. It will give you the real picture.

2) Potential is useless if you are not leveraging it. It's a trap both for yourself and others. You see potential in him of changing and being a good guy?? Girl, he *IS* not a good guy. It's not your job to raise a man. It's embarrassing. Stop babysitting grown men.

3) Standards are important but ensure they are not rooted in fantasy. Let's be honest finding a man who is rich, dark, tall, sexy and talks in the way you read in your romance novels is difficult. I am not saying it's impossible but don't be too rigid. All I will say is make sure you are also on the level where if you come across such a man he should be ready to date you.

4) Men view sex differently than us women. I know many of you will get triggered after reading this but the majority of men really view women as sex dolls. Blame the porn industry maybe. Good men exist but not every other man who talks sweetly is good.

5) A person in your life treats you nicely. Always talk sweetly, tells you that you matter to them but their actions don't match it. Chances are you are being breadcrumbed. Plans being cancelled? Messages being unseen? But when confronted all you get is,"Sorry love, I was busy. I was going to do it. You matter a lot,etc etc." Breadcrumbing. Be smart it can happen even in friendships too. I understand people get busier with time and things do happen. Use your discernment to see who really is busy and who is faking to be busy.

6) That uncle was so kind to me. He talked to me sweetly and always tried to help me out. Now, that's really sweet of him. Next he calls you home to help out with the household chores and he is alone at home because his wife is out of town for some work. Would you go and help? Yes. Will you go alone? No. That's unsafe.

No matter how much a gentleman a man appears to be you are not allowed to be in a situation where he could potentially take advantage of you. You always bring along a friend or deny it. I know it's wrong to not help someone but at your own risk. No. Never. It's common knowledge in our society.

7) Dreaming of a Prince Charming to whisk you away from all your troubles??? Dream on. The idea that a soulmate or one person will magically solve all our issues is dumb. We as human beings add to each other's happiness rather than becoming the core of it.

8) One of the biggest mistakes I have seen girls around me make is of being fully invested in a relationship to the point one small fight makes them depressed. That's codependency. It's unhealthy.

9) Never make your relationship your identity. You should always have a separate identity out of it. Stop curating yourself for your partners. Morphing yourself according to their likes and dislikes. That's one way ticket to an identity crisis after breakup. Compromises are essential but changing your core self??? Crazy shit.

10) Your relationship should not be the reason for your downfall. It happens especially with my intense girlies we invest so much of ourselves in the relationship to the point it becomes our focal point and when it faces upheavals we are devastated. The mental distress starts flowing in other areas of your life and suddenly your grades are falling, your career seems unstable, etc. Develop the emotional strength to compartmentalize your emotions and not allow them to overflow in other areas and affect them.

Imagination is fertile but being delusional is being stuck in a swamp.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

[mrsnancywheeler]

the lakes (3) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

previous chapter / next chapter

midnight rain

2.3k words

warnings: angst, talk of mental illness and su!cidal ideations, allusions to trafficking, mentally unstable reader who's in denial, allusions to death and violence, hurt/comfort, arguments, something gets thrown in anger, terms of endearment, dreams of domestic bliss, savior complex Finnick and reader, no use of y/n, unedited

⠀ 𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

The familiarity of the train car made you shudder. The first time its elegance had amazed you, but now it was commonplace, a trade for everything else that had been given. The escort who you'd known for years, but always blocked out because of her unmatchable insensitivity was babbling on in her overwhelming syrupy voice as your brain buzzed with anxiety. When the smashing of a glass on the train's wall brought you back to the audio of the train cab.

“Can we wait to break things until the games? After all this time, Finnick, you still need your manners." She tutted, waving her hand in the air. “Plenty of time to get the aggression out later, right now just bask in the attention. Now I'm going to go check over the mentoring plans." Her neon purple eyebrows were so animated when she spoke and the color assaulted your eyes, the click of her heels echoing she exited.

Finnick had buried his head in his hands over a counter top as you quietly knelt down to pick up pieces of shattered glass. An Avox would end up cleaning the mess later, but you didn't feel comfortable just leaving it there.

“Why can't I help you?" His voice was much softer and more broken than you'd expected. Calloused hands holding his face as he stared out the train window.

“Help me?" Your confusion was evident. "You have helped me.”

“No I haven't, I'm an enabler." He shook his head, sniffling through the tears you hadn't noticed forming, your heart cracking.

You stood, dropping the glass pieces you'd been holding to approach him. "No you're not, Finnick, enabling what? Talk to me.”

He turned to you, "Talk to me. You're always trying to take care of me, angel, and I love that about you. But you use it as an excuse to hide the fact you're not doing better.”

"I am doing better, I don't understand what you're talking about, Finnick! I understand if you're angry, I just-”

"What? You looked at Annie and thought, ‘She’s too fragile to handle this, so why don't I take it all on for her? I can handle this.’" 

You nodded, “I can! I couldn't let her- I couldn't let her die.”

“But you can let yourself?" He had raised his voice ever so slightly, but it was enough that your chest was tightening. “You're punishing yourself for what you had to do to survive when you were 17! This isn't about altruism, this is about guilt."

“I'm not selfish.” Your voice was steely, you were angry. Why was he trying to pry at things that were of no matter to the present issues? "I'm doing my part, it wouldn't be right of me not to!" 

"Nobody thinks you're selfish except yourself. You could die because you want to prove something about what happened in the arena. That arena is gone, you need to focus on the now. On your now, not mine. You want to suffer in silence, you want to focus on everybody else to make up for living.”

"Stop it, Finnick! I don't want to talk about this. Be upset with me, but there are more important things to focus on.” You refused to make eye contact as you wrapped your arms around your body. There was a rebellion to plan for, no time for a psychoanalyzation of your brain, so you needed to deflect.

“You're my wife, angel, there's nothing more important to me than that. Especially since I've done such a shitty job letting you sit there, comfort, and listen to my problems while you only ever ask to be held. Why don't you trust me?” He stepped closer to you, voice delicate.

"I do trust you.” You kept your eyes planted on the ground. He was supposed to be angry or sad, but not whatever this was.

"Then why don't you say anything after you get a call from the Capitol? Why is it always only a few minutes after your nightmares to discuss how you feel, but every other waking moment is about me? I want to protect you, I want you to stop ruining yourself over the past and let me help you like you do for me.”

“I don't want to talk about it, Finnick." You were pushing down the onslaught of tears beginning to fall down your frozen face. “Can we please, not talk about it." You whispered as you shrunk into yourself.

“We have to start dealing with it, you are self-destructive, just because you hide things doesn't mean you're better set then Annie is. You are not going to step into this arena and sacrifice yourself for someone to make up for the fact you killed Conway six years ago."

“You're being mean."

“No I'm not, I'm being honest. You won't deny it because you know I'm right, this is a suicide mission to make up for all of them. Dying the second time around doesn't bring them back and neither will anything else. But if you put yourself in danger to make up for things we all had to do to be where we are now, you'll be killing me too.” 

You began walking straight past him, to comfort and be comforted was the dance that held you which was being broken as each second passed. This was unfair, having trauma didn't make you as hurt as him or Annie. You just had natural human feelings about what had happened and reconciling for that wasn't dangerous.

“You can't just walk away when I stop coddling you for a second, this is all going to be okay, if you can recognize and let me help you heal. If we're gonna do this I need the rational version of you." He trailed behind you as you kept walking.

“I don't need to be coddled, I'm sorry if you're sick of me trying to help you and everyone else, but that doesn't mean-" You gasped for air, “I'm just, I'm trying to help, maybe I am making up for what I did. I'm just sorry and I'm trying to help because I can't bear seeing other people having that light snuffed out of them. I want you to feel safe, and Annie, and Mags, and Ondine, that helps me.”

"See we can start there, you don't have to make up for what you did. Everyone did things to survive, we were kids. I can help you if we talk about it.”

"How are you supposed to help me, Finnick? I did worse things than you did, of course I'm guiltier, I preyed on someone's mind, on their feelings for me and then I killed them. And I'm so, so sorry for it everyday of my life and I feel it gnawing at my insides. I'm sorry that he's dead. I'm sorry that I was manipulative. I'm sorry for the person's I created. I'm sorry that I lied to you. I'm sorry that you're right. I'm sorry that I need to make it go away, Finnick, and it won't go away until I give it something equal even if it means I-” You wiped the tears from your face, “Finnick, I don't talk about it because being with you is reason enough to keep my grounded most of the time. I don't need to say anything when I see you and it's an easy reminder why I'm living."

“You shouldn't want to live just because of me. I want to be there for you, but when you feel that way I need you to be honest. You don't need to atone for any things, you deserve life. If we're going to go into that arena, you need to start believing that because I will not let you die. I love you and I need you to survive, to make it through with me to the end.”

You'd stopped walking and were leaning your back against the train wall. Nodding slowly, you were exhausted.

"I know you don't believe that right now, but I will make you believe it, my love.” His hand caressed your face and the radiating warmth made your ice cold face shudder.

You stared at him in silence before you let the sobbing take over your body. " I'm sorry, I don't know how to deal with it. I want to be better, I do, but I just can't. It won't go away.” His arms enveloped you like sunshine, guarding you from everything else.

“I know, sweet girl, I know." 

             𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

Meanwhile Haymitch had to take the initiative to begin introducing his new tributes to the pack of well known, well introduced victors. Unbeknownst to Katniss and Peeta, he would of course be pulling strings to make sure they were in close proximity or at least had the attention of certain victors for the plan being hatched.

Katniss had not seemed thrilled at the idea of Finnick, but she was rarely thrilled with anyone.

“This year we have some volunteering, which will definitely spice things up a little bit. Two couples in one game, especially when one has been adored by the Capitol for years will keep their attention." Haymitch gestured to the screen where you were sending Annie back to the line with the other female tributes.

"Didn't she also have a relationship with the male tribute last time, isn't that how she won her games?" Katniss asked.

“Yes, Capitol Princess, she is just as adored, but more tame. The less cocky side of the duo you could say."

“I bet you he's not going to protect her when it comes down to it since she did the same thing last time. He's got to know that's just how she plays the game." Katniss reasoned, doubt of everyone taking hold.

“I'd be extremely surprised if that happened, they've been with each other for years and oh-" The cameras zoomed in on the seaweed and made rings on your fingers as you held hands. “Looks like that bond has gotten ever stronger. They'll be a pair and if she does die it would be a sad day, Katniss. She's a really nice lady regardless of what she did to win at 17.”

"It's not that different from you, you just got lucky.” Peeta remarked.

“I'm just saying she wouldn't be an easy ally to trust, I mean didn't she kill all of them when it came to the end?" Katniss shrugged, leaning forward. 

“This isn't about trust, it's about survival. You need allies, even if it means they end up dead at the end, you need them to survive. You're both fresh meat, these people have built a repertoire with each other for years. You're gonna need some of them on your side for as long as you can." 

"And you want us to go with them?”

" It wouldn't be a bad idea.” Peeta shrugged, "If he's gonna protect her then we'll be protected too.”

"Yeah until we become perceived threats too.”

"Hey, I'm just laying out your options. There are 22 tributes to pick from, I know these people so I'm giving you my insight. Whether or not you decide to take it is up to the two of you.” Haymitch gestured at both of them before turning back to the screen." So District 5.”

              𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“Finnick, what's the plan?" You asked as you two lay in the silky sheets of the bed.

"We have to get Katniss to trust us so we can get her out of the games. We'll be able to plan more once we get there.” His hand lazily lay on your shoulder,  grazing strands of your hair.

"And you'll keep me updated? No secrets?”

"No secrets, my love.” You hummed contently as you snuggled yourself deeper into his shoulder. "When we're in the arena, you need to stick by me. They'll probably try to split us up somehow, we can't let that happen.”

"I can take care of myself if it does.” You assured.

"I know that, but I need to know that you're safe. That you're not trying to throw yourself in front of someone else to save them before you.”

"Even if it's Katniss?” You said lightheartedly.

"We need to get her out of there, but I won't let that be at your personal risk. I owe you a real wedding, remember?”

"Oh, I remember. One with a dress.”

"Any dress you want, angel. So you have to listen to what I say, just this once, and stay with me in the arena and do as I say to stay alive.”

"That's two times.” You joked. " I don't know if I'm capable of doing that.” 

“Haha, very funny." He rolled his eyes. Silence took over for a second and you closed your eyes to let yourself rest with him. “I promise we'll get out of this and you'll get the life you deserve, we deserve."

“I trust you."

“Good because I mean it. We'll have our house back overlooking the ocean where little kids will run around outside, soaking up the sun and salt air. They'll have your beautiful laugh and your hair that'll whip around as they run.”

"And you're angel eyes, plus that disarming smile. We'll have to be on the lookout or we'll always give them their way.”

“You can read to me as I fish, you can sit on your favorite rock and I'll collect you all treasures. Annie and Mags will watch them so we can occasionally sneak away to swim in the sunset." 

"Oh you've got it all planned out, haven't you?”

"Of course, my love, the perfect life we can have when we're free from all of this.”

"Then I guess I'll have to listen to you to make that happen.” You laughed tiredly, body relaxing.

"Exactly, Mrs. Odair, so I can make sure our dreams come true, that everyone gets a chance to do the same.” Oh, your sweet, sweet boy. 

             𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you all so much for reading and for all the feedback! someone mentioned wanting to see haymitch presenting them and I thought that would be a great addition so thank @almostjollypizza for suggesting that! not gonna lie this was kind of a difficult chapter to write but I hope you guys enjoyed it, I'm excited to get to the Capitol and the stuff there. I have so many ideas! likes, comment, tags, reblogs, and asks are all super appreciated, love you guys, thank you! 💋

taglist: @imaegonstargaryenswife0 @avoxrising @artsyaquarium @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @secretsicanthideanymore @darlingsoulbeautfulthoughts @thatonegayloser616 @skjdksjdhdjd @meri-soni-meri-tamanna

[sainteclectic]

what do you think would cause soul to not see whole as a god or deity anymore?

i am interested

ohh very good question...

it's a buildup of things, I think. soul is trying to tuck his pain away because it's all worth it! all of it was worth it to see whole, all the thousands of loops of endless suffering {caused by} for whole, it's all okay because whole is here and everything is alright now. he gets frustrated with his involuntary responses to things- the way he flinches when heart or mind raise their voices too loud, the sound of fireworks sending him into a panic thinking it's happening again - the constant looming dread he's grown so used to, things he could manage before, they get to him because it's supposed to be over. he's supposed to be free. why isn't everything perfect, why isn't he perfect?

and he tries so very hard not to blame whole. in the beginning, he'd never even dare to. the other two do, but soul never would. sure, he put them all through hell and knowingly put soul specifically through an endless loop of suffering whole knew he remembered - but it's fine! whole got him through it too, he's the reason soul kept going, and who is he to question god?

things also become less perfect on whole's end. whole tries his best to impress soul, to not let him down, to live up to all the expectations of divinity. but he's not a god. he's just a man, and a very mentally ill and unstable one at that. so it's inevitable that he does things that aren't godly. he lashes out, he makes mistakes, he does all the things humans do and gods don't.

soul tries not to blame him again. it must be something with soul, somehow. it has to be that their harmony isn't perfect, there's something soul could be doing better, if they just find that perfect synchronicity, then it'll all be perfect. soul is a flawed and broken thing by design. whole is the ideal he's been striving for for... god, how long has it been now? hundreds of years? thousands? the loop number {333,333} is all that he remembers {always 3, never 1}, it's all that matters {not soul's suffering, not all the work that goes to waste, only whole}

the breaking point, like most things, happens gradually. maybe he starts to understand why heart and mind are furious with whole and feels terrified that he can relate to an emotion he'd never dream of having. maybe whole pushes him away and soul feels upset with whole instead of himself for once. maybe he realizes he's been praying to the altar of the god who brought him salvation, not to the man who damned him.

it's slow. and it's unwilling. and it's painful. for the first time, he's the one to pull away. he doesn't want to see whole because he can't bear to see the imperfections instead of the god he reveres. he doesn't want to have his whole life to be meaningless. doesn't want his mirror image to be as flawed as he is. {doesn't want to see whole's heartbroken face when he realizes it's finally happened.}

why is the world so cruel? why couldn't things just be alright? why couldn't soul be satisfied? {why couldn't whole just end this already? why did he put soul through hell if he loves him so damn much?} he's angry, and it hurts that he's angry, he doesn't want to be angry. but he is.

like the fall, the rebuilding takes time. whole is the one to reach out first for once. whole has always been terrified of initiating anything, always letting soul take the first step, but he's willing to try for soul. it's painful. there's a lot of crying. and soul is devastated when whole hugs him and it doesn't feel sacred anymore.

but it's warm. and it's human. and maybe that's enough.

[seireitonin]

heyy, i am huge fan of creepypasta (espacially Toby), so could u make headcannons about him in relationship in his 30's? Btw i love your content and follow u on tt :3

I’m so sorry I’m just now getting to this! I get distracted and I’m not on tumblr a lot! Anyway thank you for your patience and support!!

Dating Toby in his 30s

Dating Toby was hard already

With his mood swings, cocky behavior and detachment despite him loving you so much

This was BEFORE he got captured

Now that he escaped the mental institution and is more traumatized than he already was….its worse

He clings to you now more than ever, scared to lose you

Scared you don’t love him anymore, although he’ll never say it

Why?

He got captured. It’s humiliating, embarrassing to him. A hit to his ego

So he’s kinda insecure about the way you view him. He doesn’t want to look weak or helpless in front of you. He’s supposed to be protecting you

He’s also much more possessive and protective over you, so scared something is gonna take you from him

Getting him to eat food has been a challenge

Getting him to do anything but lay in bed and stare at a wall has been a challenge

You thought he was unstable before? That’s worse too

Every single noise makes him jump

He’s so paranoid never able to relax

Some nights he’ll stand in the corner talking to the wall, unblinking. It’s what he did at the mental institution

You’ll have to lead him back to bed and hold him until he eventually snaps out of it

Even then he’ll never be the person he was before he got captured

Your Toby is gone

He’s much more moody and aggressive

“What the fuck are you coddling me for? You think I’m weak?”

“No. I dont. I’m worried about you”

He wouldn’t talk to you like that before. You know he doesn’t mean it

He used to love when you cared about him, when you held him

Toby can’t stand the feeling of being at another mercy or weak. It’s how he felt when he was being abused by his dad and being at the mercy of his captors brought back that feeling

Has more tic attacks because he has fears/ thoughts and hallucinations about being back in that place. His anxiety is constantly off the charts too, he’s gone back to chewing the skin off his fingers

His tics were less frequent before he got captured but now they’re constant, his tic attacks coming in harder and more frequent than ever

His tics are just straight up begging and screaming sometimes. Those are the noises he would make in the mental institution and they’re permanently part of his tics now

He hates it. Hates that you have to hear that

But you’re understanding and support him anyway

He loves the fact that you’re so understanding. He loves you

He can’t believe he was ever apart from you

He got captured protecting you

You were both surrounded, he pretended that he kidnapped you and that you were his next victim

To be fair he did kidnap you but you were never his victim

“I’m sorry I have to do this” he said as he cupped your face in his hands and looked into your eyes

“What-“

He grabbed you, putting you in a headlock choking you tightly, hearing the police come

Toby whispered aggressively in your ear as he squeezed your throat so the police would believe that you were his victim, not his lover

“Don’t say a word and listen to me. When they ask questions, you don’t fucking know me. I kidnapped you. I was going to kill you. You were trying to escape and I found you. You don’t remember anything. Do you fucking hear me? When they let you go, you go back to our cabin and you fucking lay low. Don’t come look for me. Don’t you fucking dare”

He had never been serious with you like that before as he gave you a story to tell and instructions in your ear

It scared you. As if you just remembered that he was a murderer and could just end you if he wanted although you knew he wouldn’t hurt you

The police surrounded you both soon after and he held the blade of his hatchet to your throat as he kept you in a headlock

“Come any closer and I’ll kill this bitch!” He screamed out making you truly look like a victim

After a standoff and you safely being handed over to the police and being put in the back of an ambulance, Toby got cuffed and shoved in the back of a police car

You exchanged a final glance, as you fought back tears to not look suspicious as you watched the man you love get taken away from you to an unknown fate

Its another reason you’ll never leave his side

He sacrificed himself and what little sanity he had to keep you safe

He told you about everything they did to him there. The experiments, the abuse and him being seen as less than human, the straight jackets, the metal mussel they had on him at all times, the padded room, having to hear people talk to him about his past from his abuse to the murder of his father to working for what they thought was a fictional being called Slenderman

Everyone looked at him with fear. With his many kills under his belt and his unpredictable nature

Hearing all of it fills you with guilt

He went through all that because he loves you

So you’ll never leave him. How could you ever? After what he did for you

Toby wakes up screaming at night sometimes, thinking he’s back in the institution or having a vivid dream about it

He’ll pull on his hair and his tics become violent and he thrashes

You just rub his back “it’s okay. I’m here. You’re here. You’re safe”

He feels bad after it’s over every time but it comes out like aggression because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable

“I know. I’m not stupid.”

He’s grateful. He is. Truthfully he’s scared and anxious but he’ll never tell you.

But you already know and you still love him

He loves you too, just give him time to readjust and he’ll try his best to get better for you again but that won’t be for a long time

You miss your Toby.

Your playful,upbeat, cocky and obnoxious Toby.

He wasn’t perfect but he was yours

Now you feel guilt when you look at him

“Toby…do you hate me?”

“No”

“You’re lying to me aren’t you”

“No! Why are you saying that?!”

“Because I feel like it’s my fault you got captured! I’m the reason that you went through that!”

He looks at you, blankly “no. You’re not the reason. It probably would’ve eventually happened regardless. I just did what I had to do to protect you. That’s it. So don’t say anything stupid like that to me ever again. I didn’t go through that for nothing. I did it for you.”

You tear up and for the first time in months, you hold each other. He holds you. And you hold him and he feels good. You missed him.

He takes you in, remembering how much he loves you. Going through all that for you and being able to keep you safe was enough for him

You love each other despite these horrible circumstances and the new problems that came from this

He lets you run your hands through his hair while your in bed together like he used to before

He’s starting to hold you again

He’s still not 100% his old self and most likely never will be, but he’s trying his best

Because he needs you now more than ever

And you will always be here

[schnitzelsemmerl]

(this post is best viewed in light mode!!)

My intro post!! 🌈🌈

hallihallo! :3 my name's Cher (Cherilyn if you feel silly) 🍒 or Andrey and you can call me whatever (nicknames, etc. I LOVE NICKNAMES 💗). im 🇦🇹🇧🇦 btw. and can you tell i like schnitzelsemmerl (ohne salat 🥬 ist ein schnitzelsemmerl kein gutes schnitzelsemmerl btw ‼️😒😒 /lh)

fun 🎊 fact: Cherilyn is hella 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 </3

"say "hiya", ezra lamb!" "hiya, ezra lamb"

🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬🥬

I'M ✨️⚠️A MINOR⚠️✨️ and i use any pronouns but if you call me a boy i will kiss you on the fucking mouth :3 my gender is weird but so am i

🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊

this pretty much is a blog about musicals and my interests, but i'm mostly being 🎊silly🎊 and a sigma 🤩😼 with the mutuals™️ on here for now (this post may appear organized (why am i lying it doesnt), but in reality i am a trainwreck :3 ) i'm very online, so yea. talk to me please :33

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

fandom list: musicals (hamilton, rtc, SIX THE MUSICAL MY BELOVED <33 , etc.); hetalia <3; history, especially tudor dynasty and amrev/french revolution (idk if that counts as fandom); лолофд (this is a russian minecraft my friend and online father figure @frownce showed me don't go there it's deadly); the hellaverse/HH/HB, titanic (1997)

list of silly characters i like (idea totally not stolen): peggy schuyler, misha bachinskyi, france/francis bonnefoy, hera (i know she only appears for 20 seconds in one song AJFJFJFJGJF), niffty, moxxie and millie, jane grey, boleyn, towelie (bro he's funny 😭😭), heather mcnamara, karen smith, buffy gilmore and cindy campbell, etc etc

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

the online family <3

my ao3!!

trust me on this and click :3 (it's ✨️fanart✨️)

Under the cut are just random things :3 🍭🍭

apparently, i am:

THE mother <3™️

George Washington Insanity™️

Peggy Schuyler's husband :3

alpha & sigma male

an honorary 'murican 🇺🇲

president (2024 - forever and ever and ever)

local schnitzelsemmerl but i am not local

Bernd das Brot (real)

Akkordeonspieler /j i don't actually play the squeeze keys 🤭‼️

mentally unstable bbg

emmy's annoying younger gen alpha brother

💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸

taken anons that are taken: 👻🏳️‍⚧️ !!

previous usernames: @iiamly0

@cher-takes-the-l

@spac3agebachelorman

@andreyyayy

so if you know any of those users but cant find the blog anymore, hihihi ! hello !!!! that's me!! hiiiii :3

💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫

a carrd i spent wayyyyy too much time making

🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊🎊

have a nice day!! :D (this is a threat)

PEGGY JUMPSCARE <3

[qurbanjaan]

Vent ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

It saddens me to see so many people on Tumblr pretending and/or self diagnose themselves with serious mental conditions and treat it as a personality trait and most of the times don’t even take time to research about what they’re pretending to have. No, you don’t have CPTSD/BPD because “omg so me, I’m a crazy possessive girl too🎀”. Those issues are based on severe trauma and genetics, you most likely don’t have it and you should be happy not to.

If I exit therapy, I will start losing people around me again because I tend to make relationships unstable and only very patient people that actually see I have a disorder can deal with me, I self harm to be sure I’m real because I can’t connect my mind to my body and seeing my blood is the closest I get to it and even with one year of therapy my psychologist couldn’t find a way to make me realize I’m real and connect me to my body, I do things I don’t want to do, I have random crisis and gut wrenching emotions that come out of nowhere, I have tachycardia, anxiety, I can’t sleep at night and I have nightmares every day, my brain is permanently damaged to a point you can see it through MRI scan, I’m hyper vigilant, paranoid, can’t go out alone because I have panic attacks, I have hallucinations and sometimes I enter psychotic episodes, I dissociate and I have memory lapses. I have no identity of my own and I oscillate between totally different people from day to night, I have fragile self esteem and I tend to be emotionally manipulative the second someone I love gets angry at me and I feel so desolated that I cry copiously, I am emotionally dependent on people and I get desolated and depressed at the slightest inconvenience. People like me end up socially estranged and hated by people like you, that pretend to have an issue. We are those weird classmates you have that you mock.

Please stop making “BPD flag <3” “PTSD flag^.^”, you’re ridiculous and you have no idea how hard it is for people like me to exist and improve ourselves. People get tired of people like me and you are so fucking cruel to pretend to have those issues because you simply can’t know what it is to need to improve yourself to be socially acceptable and be able to have relationships simply because YOU need to learn how to act and not because other people are mean. WE are the issue and it hurts to see y’all doing it.

[rainydayzxd]

「ABT ME」

Name: Rainy/tako

I LOVE MAKING FRIENDS LIKE SO SO MUCH GUYS DM ME I BEG YOU just please inform if you wanna be my friend and send an ask first ! :3

except for wierd pedos or smth ILL KNOW

age : 13!!!!! MINOR

pronouns: she/her

Gender: abrosexual, genderfluid and bisexual

 Mental stability: silly/lunatic/childhood dystopia/mentally unstable/suicidal/intense feeling of being abandoned /mind dysphoria/ likely have autism but too lazy to be tested + still have symptoms/ age regression

I actually have a caregiver and give him some appreciation @muder-boner

Music:TV girl💙🩷 indie stuff, jack stauber,KoRn, slipknot, eyedress, Alex g, the strokes, WEEZER, anything indie really

Collects : buttons, stickers, business cards, sketchbooks

I mainly post art and sometimes my outfits

Interests: mouthwashing, mlp , invader zim, Roblox, Fnaf, horror games, backrooms, comics, arcane, anime, gumball, inside job, Rick and Morty, dr stone, saiki k, umbrella academy, regular show, gravity falls

Styles: alt, grunge, punk, goblincore, wierdcore, dreamcore, 2000s, y2k, scene,emo, cutecore, cutegore, lolita, sweet lolita, goth lolita, goth, harajuku, decora, lamp girl, casual, gyaru,etc…

The rest is if ya wanna be my friend !

I am pretty creative and chaotic !

I tend to give nicknames like babe or honey to my close friends :3

I tend to apologise after a fun discussion :/

I love making friends and some of my friends here are closer to me than my irl friends !

hope you have fun on my blog !

[tarotwithdanise]

Your future best friend's personality

1 - 2 - 3

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : All of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , I don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and the reading itself belong to me. I use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider. If saved/downloaded the divider use a proper credits and tag/mention along my acc @tarotwithdanise. Expect grammatical errors with this reading, bear with it because english isn't my mother tongue.

💌 check out my back-up account @danisetarot bio ; click the link, choose your favorite deals that you wanted to purchase and then send all of them to my email account (daniseallure@gmail.com)

Pile one

This is someone who already on their spiritual awakening. They are someone who you can't just tricked and fooled easily, this person makes you think twice of all your actions. They are smart people, if you play trick ways, they will know it immediately without any hesitation because they are mastermind. You will meet this person to any spiritual groups and places. It can be that this is where they work or they're someone who used to teach others. People come at them to ask for their advices, they're great mentor. They like to inspire and be inspired. They might come off as mysterious and secretive individual too. You two will create a strong foundation of friendships. It's not yet the right time to reveal themselves fully to you. But all of i had said was the highlights of them.

Pile two

-this gonna be long compared to previous pile, this person is like an open book.

If I were describe this person, they always look at the bigger picture. Most likely, this is is someone who have vision board or they already have an idea what they want to be in the future. Most likely this person is someone who have a young spirit or probably younger than you. They enjoy and love to try new things, they're adventurous and brave individual. They're quite rare individual and ready for any change that surrounds them, in fact they're risk taker and will enjoy traveling around and across each country - they're adventurous individual. I see that they're talkative individual, someone who likes to share their MU's and crushes to you. They're typically jolly and has an extrovert personality, they like encouraging people. If I am not mistaken this person is probably the one who will try to get you out of your comfort zone. I picking up a strong masculine energy so they maybe a boy? but they can also be a girl that just embodied a masculinity. The cons of their traits is that, they experience unstable mental health and might have a very childish attitude, they probably has a lot of break downs with their past that's why. It's like they see their past self to you, that's why they're trying their best to help you as they can with pure intention.

They might be young but their experiences is level up into the next level that most of their ages doesn't yet uncover. I do also see here that even though they not really a ‘star pupil’ or a ‘straight A's pupil’ their classmates or their co-workers likes them to be their leader ; someone who will guide and lead them into a project or teamwork. Some people feels very irritated towards them because they're very jolly, hyper and friendly, somehow their friendliness can affect you because you only have them while they have many choices but what's more interesting here is that they're longing always for your presence, you maybe way more matured and intelligent when it's comes to logic rather than them so this is one of reason why few people take an advantage to their innocent and kindness. And what else? They prefer and like more to share their problems and secrets to you more rather than to their other friends. Like they typically see you as their only lifetime best friend while the rest of their friends is temporary. You tickled this person heart, you got their full trust. This feels like a friendship between a straight forward and trash talker person with their wild and funny friend.

Pile three

This is someone who maybe from a well-off family, it's either the relationship with their family is okay or in other way, it's broken. This is someone who is same age as yours, they likes traveling whether inside or outside of country. They also likes country music and artists. They are not emotionally stable and may need someone to lean on. It's hard for them to somehow find balance between two choices. This friendship may lead from friends to lovers, if both of you will pursued this connection. They may not be good at decision making but they are kind person and will do everything to share the life they have to their friends and other people. This person might own atleast one pet at their home and probably someone who may like the color of black. They maybe act spoiled and stupid sometimes but they're totally kind, it's just they used to act one. They may have an unpredictable nature and maybe someone who hold a lot of responsibilities even though they can't.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work in any other social media platforms with or without my explicit permission.

[brainjvice]

Hi!!

I was absolutely amazed by your analysis of Kaiser a few weeks ago. And I wanted to ask if you think that with a therapy he could like honestly love someone??

I've been thinking about it pretty much and I was reading a whole bunch of sites about c-ptsd and narcissistic features but I feel like I'm too dumb to make a statement 😔 i just almost hysterically don't want to mischaracterize him 😭😭

Sorry for all this yapping, have a great day!! <33

Wiiii anon I imagine you're referring to this! Thank you so much ksgdhg I am flattered you liked it this much <3

I want to preface this by saying that Love is a complex feeling and I won't use the term in a strictly romantic way. That + Kaiser is a complex character and I think his actions can't be interpreted through Black and white lens. There's a lot of nuance in his actions and in his emotions and everything I will say is up to my personal interpretation of the character.

Now, to answer your question: yes.

Even present Kaiser is capable of love. Of course, he experiences it in a vastly different way compared to most people and wouldn't manifest affection in a "canonical" way.

Unfortunately, Kaiser has never experienced love, and he's well aware of that, so he has a hard time both to recognise, to express and to react to the emotion.

And he knows that. He knows that when someone tries to give him love, he reacts with violence, because he's only known violence since he was a child. See how he reacted to people being kind towards him for the first time. See how he called Ness "loser" the first time they interacted (and he was supposed to. charm and manipulate him lmfao-- I mean he still managed to do that but it's because he was lucky Ness as well doesnt know anything about love).

Now. Ness. Do I think Kaiser loves him? In his own twisted way, yes. He loves him like you love a pet. He loves him like he used to love his ball. He loves him like his dad loved Kaiser, with violence and control.

Violence is his safe place. So every emotion and feeling he experiences is perceived through violent lens, love included.

And I love LOVE that he is self-conscious enough to know it, yet doesn't have the neccessary means to not fall back into the same loop. At the same time, given the shit he went through, he's already doing amazing lmfao.

Also, I know I've already seen someone else state this but I unfortunately don't remember who it was, Kaiser probably projects onto Ness, the same way he projected onto that ball when he was a kid.

("You beat it up but he still comes back" -> does this imply that Kaiser had loved his father in some ways? Could be. There's lots of grief when it comes to suffering abuse from what was supposed to be your safe person. Kaiser is still in survival mode, which is very understandable, so I don't think he's gone through that part of the process Yet. Anyway.)

In therapy he could learn how to accept love and express it in a way that doesn't cause damage to other people.

Kaiser craves love but at the same time has a hard time receiving it. The fact he barely feels human doesn't help. He's so disconnected from his body and probably has an unstable image of self (look at the tattoos, his hair, etc. He wants to Represent something, he's trying to craft his own image and probably sees himself as a doll to dress up). He also. Doesn't really like himself in general lmao. So he would find it so hard to actually feel loved by someone.

He would also need to manually learn to be empathetic. He's already emotionally intelligent enough to know what to say to make someone feel a certain way, but for now he's just using it to manipulate/unsettle people in general. If he wants to reach his ultimate goal (which is to be actually loved) he needs to make the effort of not letting the mental illness take over.

It will be hard lmfao since he loves LOVES having power/control over people - it's safer this way, so I don't really blame him. You can't get hurt by someone if you control them, right? Right (Rip Ness). But he may eventually come around it in the name of the greater good.

Also!!! A thing he would do when it comes to a romantic partner is to follow the societal expectation but make it bigger. Kaiser would absolutely take inspo from romantic movies, and lowkey highkey use them as an inspiration to properly court someone.

He would do it more as a way to show off and mark his territory/scare away potential rivals. To him, courtship is a power-based game. He puts on a show and makes the effort to appear as the Best potential partner, but thats it. He wouldnt be too interested into actual dating. The chase and conquership of the final price is more thrilling than what comes afterwards. In my mind, he would be the type to flirt around, conquer his "prey", but never take them to bed. The ego boost that comes after knowing someone wants to fuck him has more value than actually fucking them lmao, and the power that comes off telling the person that he is not interested in taking them home? Yeah, that's another thing he would love.

Now, of course, in terms of both partnership and friendship, he may need to have strong-minded people by his side. People he can't manipulate and don't trigger his prey drive narcissistic tendencies.

Someone who doesn't people please and, most importantly, who can partially understand him. Kaiser would hate to feel vulnerable, and his defensive walls are all up high. He needs someone who acknowledges said walls but isn't necessarily interested in breaking in and waits for Kaiser to come closer at his own pace.

The person needs to be sonewhat caring, but not in a way that makes Kaiser want to take advantage of it. He wants to be taken care of, but babying him would be a mistake.

I think the only way to date Kaiser is to skip the dating part. No courtship, no games. At some point, he finds himself lounging in someone's livingroom and decides that the couch is too comfortable to leave. That's it.

At the end of the day, he is nothing but a cat.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Hellooo I am in desperate need of Delta angst and I remember you saying that we could ramble about hc's we had so here I go :D

He has severe PTSD/survivor's guilt, and due to this he has intense nightmares, resulting in him never wanting to sleep. Obviously this isn't healthy for them, but they can't help it entirely.

And due to not sleeping very much out of fear, after 3 days he begins to hallucinate (the human body can go 3 full days without any kind of sleep before it begins to have a psychological and mental/emotional impact on them).

Their hallucinations probably revolve around their PTSD/survivor's guilt, but also the fear of not being able to protect his friends currently, which can lead to strong delusions and maybe even panic/anxiety attacks, overthinking, and body dysmorphia.

(I also hc that because Sans and Beta are sharing a combined body, sometimes they forget what they look like now, which can very easily cause imposter syndrome/another identity crisis, dissociation, and intense anxiety, though they will never admit it.)

It will also make him much more mentally and emotionally unstable, which might lead to him snapping at people over small things.

(I also hc that he has ADHD, and usually with ADHD comes sensory issues - from my own experience, at least - so he would be having much more sensory issues than normal, which might make him more irritable and aggressive depending on what the sensory issue revolves around)

As you have said, he's not the type to ask for help when in pain, but I feel like this would very quickly grab Color and Epic's attention and they'd help whether he likes it or not. Which I think would eventually end in fluff bc they'd be able to finally comfort and calm Delta down (and he might finally feel safe enough to sleep).

(And if we're rolling with the hc that he has a therapy dog, Zorox would probably alert Delta multiple times that he needs sleep. If Delta is having a panic/anxiety attack or flashbacks, Zorox would work on grounding them to bring them back to reality, and try to make them take a break. But when Delta refuses, Zorox immediately snitches to Color and Epic and have them help Delta.)

Thoughts?

My thoughts are that these are all completely real and canon because I say so.

I honestly love the idea of Delta having ADHD, I feel it’s fitting in the way ADHD Killer calls to me and Autistic Color does. They should all be neurodivergent buddies, it’s pretty common for neurodivergent divergent folks to flock together, even before they know that they or eachother are. I feel like Cross is Autistic too and Epic is maybe AuDHD (same as Killer maybe??)

And I can imagine that both Delta and Beta have severe body issues, same as Killer does, and probably avoids looking in mirrors on particularly bad days because it just severely confuses and distresses them. Especially on days when they’re particularly blurry or “co con,” having doing a double take when catching sight of what they assume is their reflection in the mirror. Like, is that supposed to be me—us? It’s so strange seeing parts of yourself looking back from another’s face, even weirder when a hand moves without your permission to touch at the face in equal bewilderment.

I also like to think that Delta’s the type to enjoy deep pressure, so Epic and Color often cuddle and squeeze him tightly, or Zorox will lay on his lap/chest to apply pressure. And it’s pretty easy for Delta to fall asleep like that, similar to way Color gets drowsy when he’s warm and Killer when feeling soft and fuzzy sensations like his fluffy hood or a fluffy blanket.

Epic and Color definitely look into buying him the best deep pressure blanket as soon as possible.

[offbrandkyoya]

60 scara the widower

previous | masterlist | next

Scaramouche is very lonely. He’s never felt so empty before. He misses you so much, like he’ll ever admit that. Practices were okay. It made him want to gauge his eyes out but anything for his fans.

Scaramouche turns off the music and sits on the floor while taking a sip of water. He’s sweating like crazy and he feels his head spiral. The boys trained separately for 3 hours and the rest is practicing together. Currently, Scaramouche is separated from the others. He kind of missed the loud noises.

He closes his water bottle before staring at the ceiling. He wanted to call you, see how you were doing but his phone got taken away. He wouldn’t get it back till the end of the day which was at night. He didn’t like the idea calling you at night since he cares about your health. Kind of hypocritical since he didn’t care much about his own.

Scaramouche pulls his knees up and rests his chin. “I miss yn…” He mumbled. He’s all alone so he didn’t care about speaking out loud. It’s just him and his thoughts. “Why did I sign up for this if it meant id be away from them?” He sighs before standing up. “I hope they’re okay.” He knows that people at your campus don’t like you at all and he can’t help but worry. You have Thoma and now…

“Fuck.” He says, remembering he’s keeping a secret from you. Scaramouche runs his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t like the idea of not telling you about Albedo and Kaeya. Obviously, it was none of your business to know their relationship but he fears something will happen to your friendship. You get along well with Albedo that he can’t help but think, if Kaeya spills the truth, Albedo would no longer want to be associated with you.

Not only him but Thoma as well. The blonde has some kind of relationship with Diluc and that can also ruin everything. Scaramouche just wants to make sure that you don’t only have him or 5WIRL. He growls, “I’m not their mom.” His face softens, “Still, I love-“ The door opens and enters his manager.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I interrupting?” He hated her guts. Getting special treatment is kind of annoying. Yet, he doesn’t want to cause any problems so he acts oblivious. “No, I was just relaxing.” “I see but don’t relax too much.” Scaramouche nods and his manager closes the door, walking closer to him. “Listen, Scaramouche.” She rubs her hands.

“About that concert where you…had a reaction…” Scaramouche raises a brow but says nothing. “I need you to be focused. It’s not that I’m angry at you. I’m just concerned. You need to learn how to control your emotions. We don’t want you to look bad in front of everyone.” Scaramouche felt his insides boil. How was he supposed to know his mom was gonna show up that night? He hasn’t seen that woman in years.

“Okay.” Was all he said and she smiles. “Good. Gosh, you’re a much better listener than the rest. Out of all of them you have the most potential considering-“ She paused. “Considering?” He repeats. Her smile falters but continues, “Nothing. You’re just better. So much better that, you can be the new leader.” His eyes widen and she laughs. “Just a suggestion.” “What about Venti?”

Suddenly, she frowns. “He’ll leave. He’s been here long enough and Zhongli isn’t easy to beat. I guess his time has run out. He’s pretty much a nuisance and does nothing but mistakes. Honestly, he should’ve given up long ago.” Scaramouche doesn’t say anything and she smiles again. “Well enough of that. Continue doing what you’re doing.”

She walks to the door but turns back around. “Oh right, I’ve been meaning to tell you; take off that ring. I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.” Then she left. Scaramouche brings his hand up to look at the ring. “Like hell I’m taking this off.”

Scaramouche felt sour after hearing all that. Him? The new leader? He scoffs at the thought. “As if.” He’s pretty unstable, mentally and emotionally, so he wouldn’t be right for the job. Plus, Ventis a good leader. He’s confused on his relationship with Zhongli so he can’t really say much on that. Scaramouche heads to the boombox and turns the music back on to continue practicing.

- I watched Barbie

- I also started watching legend of korra after avoiding it for so long

- I love mako

- 🩷

🏷️ @sakiimeo @coquettemaiden @rmiyuki @kur44pika @theblueblub @jxxji0309 @dreamsofminnie @ohmyfinggod @redactedhimbo @kunisbeloved @akagism2 @sketcheeee @thefandomcrow @beriiov @thenightsflower @yukiipc @scaraapologist @scarletttcroww @samyayaya @crucnhice @monaypo1 @feiherp @myaaones @warcelia @hangecanweholdhands @yuminako @valiryyz @screechingxiaolover @tiddieshakeshownu @ilovechuuyaa @d4y-dr3am3r @dazaisfavgf @swivy123 @ganyusbrideee @sagegreenthinks @the-left-glove @wonderland-fan @kylexzz @kaoyamamegami @whycantscarabereal @rvoulte @eunchaeluvr @lxkeeeee @silvermah @baby-bread-in @yelleloww @magica-ren @itzblazekun @im-inlovewithy0u @featuredtofu @ynverse @anastaxiah

[thepublishingpress]

A Civil Conversation

(Alt. title: Midnight Talks)

Zuko was feeling rather proud of himself. He had done it. He had managed to convince the Avatar to let Zuko teach him firebending. They had given Zuko a chance. Zuko absently poked at the fire with a stick. Though, not everything was ‘sunshines and rainbows’, as his mother would put it. He shuddered when he remembered the Southern Water Tribe girl’s threat. 

Hm. Perhaps betraying her was not the best idea.

He’s broken out of his thoughts when he hears footsteps. Zuko tenses; he’s ready to defend himself if Katara has come to deliver on her threat. 

“Um… Hi?”

Definitely not waterbender girl. “Hi.” Zuko narrowed his eyes at the newcomer. “Are you coming to make threats at me?”

Water Tribe boy chuckled. “Nah. I think my sister’s already taken care of that, don’t you think?”

“How…?”

“I saw her walking out of your room with a grin, and when I asked her what she did, she said the whole story. So, no, I’m not gonna bother you with threats of extreme bodily harm.”

“Um. Thanks…?” Zuko said hesitantly. The boy gave a shrug in response. “May I ask why you have come to visit me?”

“Wow, so formal,” The non-bender snorted, “I just wanted to ask you some things, since, you know, I didn’t have much time before.”

“Alright,” Zuko said, nodding, “Ask away.”

The other boy plopped down beside Zuko. “You’re the Blue Spirit?”

“I-uh…” Zuko blinked in surprise. Out of all the questions the non-bender could’ve asked, Zuko was not expecting this. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

“Oh! Cool!” Exclaimed the younger boy. “We’ve seen the Blue Spirit in posters and whispers around Fire Nation towns, you know.”

Zuko bowed his head. “Thanks, I guess, but how did you know?”

“Aang told us.”

The Avatar. His name was Aang. Zuko filed away the 12 year old’s name for later use. “Oh. I see.”

“So…” The boy in blue swung his feet like a child. “If it’s, um, not too personal, why’d you leave?”

“I…” Zuko paused, thinking about his answer. “Something felt wrong, I suppose. There was something missing that I knew the palace, my home could not provide. I felt discontent. But now…” Zuko trailed off.

“Now…?” Water Tribe boy pressed, curious.

“I feel more complete.”

The fifteen year old boy smiled. “Good for you, then.”

“Thanks.”

“So!” The non-bender said, clapping his hands together. “About you joining the team…”

“I won’t betray you, I promise,” Zuko blurted, “I know I betrayed you before, but I was unstable, but now–”

“Ah, ah, ah,”  The blue eyed boy shushed him, “It’s not about that. I think we can trust you, for the most part. What I am saying, though, is that if you are to join this group, you need to know about the members, hmm?”

“Oh. Right.”

The boy beside Zuko offered him a grin. “Let’s start with me! You know I’m from the Southern Water Tribe, and I’m fifteen!”

“You’re a year younger than me.” Zuko noted.

“Mhm!” The boy continued chattering, talking about his life in the Southern Water Tribe. Zuko eventually relaxed and they fell into a conversation, comparing each others lives, searching for similarities to bond over.

Finally, the Water Tribe boy glanced at the sky. “I should go to bed now…” He said quietly. He smiled. “It was nice talking to you, Zuko.”

“You too, um…” Zuko mentally smacked himself for not asking for the boy’s name. He had always called the members of the Avatar's group certain names in his head, such as Waterbender, The Avatar, Blind Earthbender, and Boomerang Boy. Said boy, however, laughed it off.

“Sokka,” He told Zuko, “It’s Sokka.”

“Good night, Sokka.” 

“Good night, Zuko.”

Yes, joining Avatar Aang's group was a wonderful idea. 

~*~

lol happy (early?) new year everyone!! finally got out of my writer's block and artist's block (if that's a thing ofc) just in time hehe hope you have a great 2024! <3 - basil dela cruz

(P.S: i love the idea that zuko has no idea what the gaang's real names are, so he made up nicknames. it's so silly and i simply adore it <3333)

[verytallfox]

Okay, first ever Tumblr post! Not sure if anyone will see this, but this is about the podcast The Sounds of Nightmares, set in the world of Little Nightmares. Specifically I’m looking at Chapter 3.

BIG SHIT

So to those of you who’ve listened or heard what happens, holy fuck right?! There’s some pretty big revelations (stuff theorized for a while certainly but never outright confirmed) in the episode. For one, it knocks the whole “it’s just a dream world” thing out of the park. Noone physically vanished from her world for a moment. I am certain that the Ferryman’s riddle is responsible for that.

Otto’s disgraced mentor published a paper in which he posited the existence of other worlds and other centers of reality. This professor suggests that their own world might be “secondary” in the cosmic hierarchy of existence. This is outright transdimensional or multiverse shit right here and I love it so much! It makes sense to me in that these children who are so alien to this world would end up there, though I also believe that there were regular people there too (and kids), at least formerly.

SMALL SHIT

Additionally, this is one of the first times we’ve heard the monsters of this other place speak, or at the very least coherently. Not just the Ferryman, who is called the Candleman predominantly, but also the shopping mall.

The shopping mall is the third location that we know if that’s suggested to be alive. The Maw is only indicated through reading Word of God stuff from Tarsier and the imagery that it must “feed” or must not perish. With the Signal Tower or Transmission or Flesh Walls or Black Tower, what have you, we see this evidence explicitly.

Back to the abandoned shopping mall, which is what they’ve named it on the wikia for Little Nightmares! It’s not clear if it feeds on anything at all or how. I will also say that I’m a sucker for a tragic beastie, which is the vibes that I’m getting from this being. However, I don’t think it would be good for Noone to have stayed there with it, even if it always treated her well.

The shopping mall appears to be suffering from serious mental health issues and is horribly lonely. It is desperate to have someone else stay with it, and also appears to be aware of the common fate that befalls children outside its walls.

So you know what, I’m gonna choose to believe that while it’s certainly dangerous the mall doesn’t mean children harm. It’s both incredibly lonely and entirely powerless to stop anyone who’d willingly stay with it (or be forced to stay) from being taken.

I’ve wondered if anyone else was somewhat hoping for least one friendly giant to appear in the Nowhere. Alas, this “friendly” giant is miserable, a little unstable, and totally powerless to save the company it desperately craves.

It actually reminds me of Six being trapped and warped within the Tower. There seemed to be no real benefit to that place in keeping her there other than maybe controlling Mono more easily. Maybe the Tower wanted her to stay too. Who knows!

The last thing I wanna cover is (drumroll) THE FERRYMAN! God I love this character. What’s so interesting to me about him is that he doesn’t appear to be running on a single base desire like most of the other adults. That suggests to me that he may never have been human in the first place and that he’s also directly working for the otherworldly entities of the Nowhere.

He’s definitely trying to draw Noone further in and I believe the riddle he told her is part of a ritual or incantation to lure her further in. Either she will continue out of curiosity, a desire to get better (not realizing it’s a trap), or if she resists she won’t a choice once it’s fully taken hold in her. The route I think this is going is that Noone will be pulled over physically for longer and longer, with the world becoming more and more clear, until she can no longer return. Her home reality may now be but a dream that she’s no longer on the same wavelength of to be able to return to.

Anyway, that was a lot of writing lol! Props to anyone who makes it to the end. Please feel to share your own ideas in here and thanks for listening!

[fishhawish]

Hi!, this is my first request in here, so im sorry if I make you uncomfortable, and sorry for my bad englinsh is not my native lenguaje.

So i May ask for a kokichi yandere x fem reader headcannons?

Thank you very much, and like i say earlier sorry if I make you uncomfortable, have a good day! :D

Ofc you can! Tysm for being patience I am currently unwell so I will respond slowly. And dw English isn't my first language either so🤍

Desperately

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★≽^•⩊•^≼

Obsessive Yandere!Kokichi x fem reader

**WARNINGS READ**: obsessive and unhealthy behaviors, warnings of changing ones self for another, mentions of harming others. mentions of self harm and suicide

!!this is NOT healthy by any means and if one genuinely feels this way please get them help. /SRS Proceed with caution.!!

Fem reader

Yandere kokichi head cannons :3

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Pre-game:

Kokichi who'd study the guys you'd hang out with or show interest in to be just like them

Kokichi who'd change everything about himself for you

Kokichi who'd give you little snacks and gifts anonymously

Kokichi who'd beg for even a small chance to breathe the same air as you

Kokichi who'd take pictures of you to study and figure out what you like

Kokichi who's jealousy is borderline dangerous

Kokichi who'd hurt himself just to get your attention

Kokichi who'd kill himself if you didn't like him or rejected him at all.

★

In-game:

Kokichi who'd tease and pretend to target you during trials to see you get upset and pay attention to him

Kokichi who'd stay strong and not murder anyone just for you

Kokichi who's extra cautious and specifically protects you

Kokichi who would take the blame for a murder you did if you where caught

Kokichi who'd do anything to set you free from that horrid game

Kokichi who'd kill if you where fond of anyone else in the game

Kokichi who'd threaten people to stay away from you for your saftey

Kokichi who'd do anything just to be your type even if it hurts him.

★

Post-game:

Kokichi who's just happy everything wasn't real and that you're safe

Kokichi who's unhealthy habits from pre and in game carried over

Kokichi who's too mentally unstable to date but still tries to get with you

Kokichi who actually kidnapped someone in post game just because they thought of hurting you

Kokichi who is determined to make you only trust him

Kokichi who is dedicated to protecting you from the world

Kokichi who isolated you from everyone you loved.

Kokichi who'd murder for you in real life now.

The end!

Reposts and likes are appreciated

Reqs open slow response I am currently unwell!

⋆｡°✩ ⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆ ✩°｡⋆

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　 ･ﾟﾟ･｡

[jenyifer]

Book List Time!!!

And with that I have 10 give or take books to discuss. Now I’m up to over 30 books since May woooo telling tumblr about each one has been a great motivator so I hope my reviews and list help people out in a non spoiler fun way. Gonna rank these in order I want to reread them.

1. Green Creek the series by TJ Klune 🏳️‍🌈🐺🌶️🌲 Wolfsong Ravensong Heartsong Brothersong I am obsessed. Literally read all four books in 3 days. I have bought physical copies and marked them up. Will make you cry, laugh, and stay in your heart forever. Just……. Go read it. But the quick synopsis is Powerful Humans Wolves Witches have to pay for the sins of their fathers over and over again while maintaining their found family and finding their true soulmates. There is Ace Lesbian non binary rep in here as well.

2. The Warden by Daniel Ford🏳️‍🌈 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🧙‍♀️❄️🪦truly a fantasy masterpiece the romance isn’t the focus but it’s fucking good. First sapphic book to get a 10/10 for me. About a witch(with a magic system that is interesting surprising) growing up and finding herself a family without sacrificing who she is. I loved her and at first you think ehhh is this going to be boring no definitely not. Was surprising made me laugh and cry. Can’t wait for part 2 cause more of the hot gf in there I hope.

3. A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland🏳️‍🌈👑⚔️🌶️🌶️ I listened to this book two times in a row I enjoyed it so much. It’s a bodyguard and prince story. The prince’s depiction of depression anxiety panic attacks was so real. The bodyguard is very endearing. The themes of family are strong and interesting. The mystery was easy to solve but I found it rewarding because I wanted the prince to win so badly haha.

4. Spindle Splintered by Alix E Harrow🏳️‍🌈👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👸🏼🥀😢

Short story about a dying girl who has a special interest in sleeping beauty. It does have a…. Debatably Sad ending. I did enjoy it for what it was trying to talk about. I lost a friend when she was too young. I’m glad I read it.

5. Scumbag Villains Self-Saving System series by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu 🏳️‍🌈🚩⚔️😈🕊️🤓🌶️? I’m putting it up this high because besides that scene in chapter 21 that slapped me in the brain I really enjoyed the series. Only Danmei I HAD TO GET THE REST OF THE SERIES IMMEDIATELY Hell I’ve even now written fan fic for the side ship. About a Nerd being put into his favorite love to hate stallion novel (story about a hero who fucks his way to success) but he’s in there as the abusive villain who the hero is destined to kill. The nerd has to save himself and unintentionally builds himself a harem featuring the most red flag the hero who so sololy motivated by the nerd. It’s great easy to read very fun. But 🌶️ scene in book 3 is a definite skip and delete from memory.

6. Case File Compendium Vol 1 by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou 🏳️‍🌈? 😈🚩🩸🕵️🥼

I did just finish reading this so maybe I’m bias but I really did find it a book I couldn’t put down. I even brought it with me to work to read a chapter during my lunch breaks. Main characters are heavy in their homophobic lifestyles but they kiss and protect each other? True crime and mentally ill characters. MC is has a fatal mental illness that makes him unstable and MIL was his former private doctor. MC is trying to date MIL’s little sister. While getting up to shenanigans they stumble into a corrupt hospital and evil forces are maybe after them?! Idk its exciting fun to read but only if you like 🚩’s

7. The Disabled Tyrant’s Beloved Pet Fish Vol 1 by Xue Shan Fei Hu 🏳️‍🌈🐟👑🎨🖼️ I did genuinely laugh my ass off during reading this book. It was incredibly easy to read I think I finished it in 4 hours. Very cute. I love the inside and outside art. About a nonverbal Prince who has anger issues and his crush on the modern man who is trapped within an ugly little fish. Now yes the Prince is becomes actively in love with the fish. Lucky for us we are stuck in the man who is trapped as the fish’s pov and he is genuinely just trying to get back to his world by obeying the powers that be System’s prompts to go home. Fish is not trying to seduce the Prince or anything. It’s just funny I had a great time with vol 1 probably will read vol 2.

8. So Let Them Burn by Kamilah Cole 🏳️‍🌈👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨🐉🏝️ while having dragons and diverse cast it ultimately falls short of expectations wishing for more depth and clarity. The asexual spectrum representation feels muddled and Jamaican inspired cultural elements are unexplored which is at odds with its rich backdrop that could have enhanced the story. The story’s mystery element lacked cohesion resulting in a frustrating bittersweet ending that suggests a sequel and left me unsatisfied. I won’t read the next book. Won’t suggest it.

9. Faithless Book2 by C L Clark 🏳️‍🌈🚩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩⚔️👑😩 a big let down from book 1 but I’m locked in for life I guess. Luca is back in France navigating a way to get the crown. While Touraine shows up with a priest and Teen to some how get food for her people. Most of the plot feels useless both MC characters are stupid and do no growing. The new teen character was interesting. I disliked the poly romance I didn’t particularly feel comfortable about Touraine and Luca why not add another person in what could go wrong? Luca’s reign as Queen looks to be very bad and you will feel extremely disappointed at the end. I’m going to read the next book but only because I like the characters who didn’t go to France.

10. Self-Made Boys by Anna-Marie McLemore.

I read 90% of this book and I regret it. It’s a trans characters as the leads gay retelling of the great gatsby. I was truly excited to read it I’ve read The Great Gatsby many times. However this book just laughs at the source material. I’m tempted to say maybe the Chat GPT’d the plot and didn’t ask for any over arching themes in the book. I couldn’t do it I’m gonna have to find a better trans representation book in my next set of ten.

DNF’s

Last Night at the Telegraph Club, The Once and Future witches, Gearbreakers, the emperor and the endless palace.