#i am just working on BIG projects now
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Opened Ask Box (+anon option) for your HIV characters narratives requests for a day (20th-21th march of 2024)
noticed that i've never seen a character with HIV presented in media (besides That Films there it is all about tragedy around it). let's do smth about it.
for a day my ask is open specifically for your thoughts about how do you want HIV characters to be portraited in a not-sad way - some warmth romantic moments, maybe some inside jokes with friends, cute moments of life from your experience. not necessary real life things - characters in fantasy? cool, will listen about hiv in vampire world with all ears etc
How it will be: you send your request or thoughts, like "i wish it would be HIV-positive character in the show which would do things such - " or "me and my partner both hiv positive and we have that thing - " etc. I will read it and choose some things to draw as little sketches, make a screenshot and slap the text on images. Default option is anon, If you want your @ being on sketch - write about it in letter you have experience - i have art power, let's combine in art love machine
p.s. if it will not reach hiv people on this day and i will got no letters, will make it open for longer
#HIV#oh wow it doesn't even has tag hiv representation#the bar is really under the flor#i know this blog is a mess and#i don't post much#but#i am just working on BIG projects now#you will love it#but yeah decided that sketches can fresh this place up a bit
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I would pay such good money for confirmation of whether Ratio and Aventurine have worked together before Penacony. How did it happen??? The talks that went on before Final Victor... The initial spark of inspiration to stick Those Two Guys together...
Like, I just have to know if someone in the IPC deliberately tossed Aventurine and Ratio on to a team together (with or without good intentions). Are any of the higher ups in the IPC or the Intelligentsia Guild out there counting on this partnership working out for the best?
To be a fly on the wall when Ratio found out who he'd been hired to "consult" with...
And Aventurine, getting the IPC mission orders across his desk like "Ah, yes, finally. He's here. My Government Assigned Boyfriend™."
#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr. ratio#ratiorine#aventio#golden ratio#I'm just mentally cackling at the idea#not sure what's funnier#AVENTURINE being the one to take one look at Ratio and going#'I am about to devise so many plans that need the Intelligentsia Guild's input'#OR#the higher ups setting them up instead#Aventurine was just minding his own business#hustling for the Stonehearts#makin those deals#and then all the sudden BAM#Genius Be Upon Ye#No wait!!! Please also consider#Ratio taking one look at Aventurine and suddenly coming up with#a ton of research ideas that just absolutely needed the Strategic Investment Department's direct funding#poor gambler did one (1) group presentation and it changed the trajectory of his whole life#some people get an end-of-year bonus after a big work project#Aventurine got a husband#nooooo#Now I'm just imagining a scenario where they have a chance meeting#and then BOTH keep coming up with RICE PAPER THIN excuses to see each other again#while the other Intelligentsia Guild and IPC members are just watching like#“This is kind of embarrassing”
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day 1181
#amphibian#axolotl#salamander#amphibiuary2023#described in alt text#heeheehoo wizord time#seeing everyone elses drawings has been so inspiring honestly i am having so much fun drawing#no idea what the status of my queue is now i had to change it so i could reblog everyones art#if this posts the wrong day o well#this is inspired by a game i wanted to make many many years ago#youd play as a witch exploring a dark cave in search of potion ingredients#i designed the character and prototyped the basic mechanics and then stopped having time to work on it :(#honestly i wanna return to it i just have a hundred other projects i wanna work on#heh maybe i still have the unity project it wouldd eb fun to look#or maybe it was lost in the great harddrive crash of 2021 </3#big nostalgia moment this wizard clearly cast some kind of memory spell on me
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breaking news, artist has to many ideas and if they dont do them all Right fucking now they will explode! 💥💥💥💥💥
#also lol back 2 lefty art for now :')#was stretching to try n help my hand but uhh i think i did something wrong cus it hurts again#not like super bad but.... still sucksssss#hopefully its not actually hurt n just sore or something#but it has given me an excuse 2 just mess around n doodle instead of doing the big projects im working on lol...#which is why i am now spoiled for choice 😭#tho tbh i should prob just go 2 bed...........#like im prob not gonna#but#i should#rambles
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Oil and water. Wasn’t meant to be
Violet von Arcane Jacket, 2021-23
Pigskin suede, lamb nappa, silk, brass
#vi#arcane#league of legends#project: Violet von arcane#cosplay#media: arcane#happy arcane season 2 day!#I haven’t watched it yet bc I had to work a sixth day and left the house bang on the release. biphobia#I am finally curled up and ready#yeah man! I started this in December 2021 after wrapping on and I finished it spring 2023!!! this jacket is my Rome my kryptonite my hextec#this is my favourite thing I’ve ever#made and I made it so overcomplicated - of course#there’s 20-something pieces in the upper body#the entire thing is cord#the lining is quilted#the leather welt pockets are EXQUISITE#I’ve also done the trousers - eventually I will finish her#I was hoping to have her done by now not anticipating working again this year past October since the industry is still fucked but I got#lucky w a really fun and big job so… sorry Violet my beloved my darling#one day#she does have her shoulder patches o just took these photos quickly and badly before I did them and here we are
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“ I always thought Narinder was the God of Death, but actually it might be you ”
An old cranky man taking in a cute kid that is better than him at every aspect of his own job. Then they may or may not get up to some shenanigans. The kid is the one having to do most of the job, though.
#not baabaa kids#i'm working on other stuff right now but i am soon done!#you know how it is with hyperfixations#i can manage up to one big project and two side-things at a time#though right now it's just finishing the big project and a bit of gaming#i played danganronpa 1 for the first time ever and got back to watching detective conan#hence this drawing#the quote is words of inspector megure about kogoro and conan#anyway i have a lot more to tell about the au! so i will be back when i feel up to it#likely soon but i wont name a date because i dunno when i'll really be free#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl art#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#detective conan
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no new cool outfits to draw because I'm just wearing this these days
(I can't emphasize enough my struggle between loving cute little guys and also cool and all-black alternative aesthetics)
#now that the temperature has dropped I am cold 24/7 but at least I can wear my hoodies all day#also i should have got silicone gauges forever ago... theyre so comfy (and finally trying to size down my gauges too...1/2inch is too big)#also prob no new art for a bit maybe just little scribbles like this- just taking it easy and gotta buckle down n work on a side project#it me
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laying down by a brook with one hand in the water like some kind of tragic prince , , , , , ,
#my break is now over and tomorrow resumes the final hell rush before the end of the semester#well i say break but in all honesty i spent 90% of it working or being so so scared for my car#i did get a little time to clean my room finally and turn into gelatinous ooze#though now i am The Slightest Bit Scared that i have gotten too oozelike and will not be able to fully reform into a functional being#in time to deal with The Horrors#(read: two intensely busy weeks on internship as i basically take over for my mentor all day)#(on top of the big portfolio assignment that my (project) partner Still Has Not Done Anything On)#like as long as i do my part i’ll get a B in the class no matter what but#aheem heem#my gpa that i worked so hard for….. i don’t want it to disappear…….#aaaaa it’s just hard to focus when i am so so tired and really just want like 5 solid days of No Thought Just Video Games And UTAU Dev#before getting back to my own big deadlines#i am looking at this document that i could probably write in 20 minutes but my brain is just. fried meat.#or more precisely i think i can get this done in an hour but Everything Else This Week?#i think i would have an easier time chewing shoe leather than getting my brain to do it all#if it weren’t for the fact that i would Literally go broke if i did not finish all this next semester#i would be soso tempted to take another semester off#only this time for my mental health………….
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trying to assign instruments to gerudo characters for thralls' soundtrack. Nabooru is getting the sitar so far, as I think she's good at representing the gerudo side that's closer to the Wild Era in terms of long-term vision for gerudo prosperity, not to mention that it works great for a more laid-back character; though Iftaah could also get that aspect, even though her perspective is a little bit more desperate and a little less actually strategizing about diplomacy and commerce in the way that Nabooru's is... not sure I have nailed down the perfect instrument for her yet though? Maybe a duduk, for its plaintive quality and capacity for softness? But I don't know, I feel like there could be something better out there. Saeruk and flamenco guitar seem pretty great fit for the versatility of the instrument, both harsh and defiant, playful at times, but also extremely sad if needs be, and the fact that she represents more the "older" kind of gerudo works well with more hispanic/romany inspirations. And then there's Aveil, who I feel represent the best the connection of the gerudos to their land, and I'd love an instrument that really represents that. Still looking for that one.
There's a bunch of fun things for Ganondorf that can be done, but I think he'll get... bigger instruments, in general. And church organs are quite versatile too it turns out. :) I like the marimba from his first phase boss battle, but it's a little too... I don't know, I feel like it lacks the roundness and depth and imposing quality that we could get with other picks. But Ganondorf so far has about *eight billion* leitmotifs going on with what I have selected for him (him and Ganon's, as they are... not exactly separate entities in the story, but sort of, it's kind of weird), so it might be more a case of actual melody rather than instruments, or maybe on top of instruments that swap in and out depending on what we want to invoke...
Sorry, rambling, but I would really love to compensate for my lack of voice actors with a pretty meaningful stab at the soundtrack. I feel like I kind of have to honestly. ;;
#thoughts#thralls of power#animatic project#gerudos#nabooru#ganondorf#I need to upgrade my music software and stop using Logic 5.5 that came out in 2002 ;;#and gives me between 30mn to 2h before subjecting me to a coinflip about whether or not it corrups my savefile#never really had the material for a proper upgrade but I really want to make one and that seems the perfect opportunity for that#also yeah nabooru has kind of a big role in thralls!#she wasn't there at all in descant or just in passing#but she becomes kind of an important player in this version of the events#her antagonism with ganondorf is. definitively there let's say.#it's funny I actually kind of used descant as a brainstorming ground for thralls in many ways#as every single character arc is just whatever I began to sketch out in unhallowed vespers#but like More and More Deliberate and more focused too#there's a bunch of threads I completely cut out#so it won't be a perfect 1:1#which is for the best I think I just hadn't spent enough time with some characters to truly get them#I'm much more confident now#Iftaah is perhaps the one that needs the most work at the moment? she has a Bad Fucking Time so I need to make sure#it goes to places that not only serve other people's arcs but also her own --and that she ends the story in a meaningful place narratively#Serielle also needs work but more in the sense that's there's so much happening in her brain. and it's pretty difficult to convey.#but I fully know what's going on in there at least even if it's wildly convoluted#anyway!! rambling rambling sorry sorry#I am frustrated that I can't actually work on it so here I am rambling#ok back to work now
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It's always interesting to hear about people's weird/unexpected "alternate life paths". Like, something that you could have done with your life, a job you almost took, a school you almost went to, etc - that was still actually realistic enough that it could have happened, but NOW it seems to not suit your current personality.
Like for example, I currently hate advertising (how manipulative it is, brands trying to be 'relatable', social media amplifying it to an obnoxious extreme, etc.) so much that even seeing a little ad before a youtube video is grating to even witness, but there was a point in time where I was genuinely seriously considering going into marketing/making commercials as a career lol. Or like, I have a relative who was very inclined to be a pastor when they were younger, even though today they're a super strong atheist, etc. etc.
#BECAUSE I knew I really liked filming and editing things and doing set design and costume design (from having done little bits of that#here and there in media classes and my own stuff - i used to be a lot more into making videos than I am now). BUT I was always thinking#that a movie is WAAY to big and long. even a short film. So I was trying to think of ways I could still like#have the fun of scouting locations to film and dressing up actors and etc. etc. without it having to be a Huge Million Dollar Production#on tv show or movie level. SO then I was thinking about like... just doing commercials. Or music videos. Like shorter things where I still#get the fun of the filming and everything but it's less of an intensive long term project.#So there is an alternate version of me (I suppose if i somehow did not end up having physical and mental health issues#as badly somehow.. or like.. randomly came into wealth and was able to pay my way through a nice college despite missing#days constantly being out because I'm sick or something lol) that works in some corporate advertising office coming up with commercials#and directing or filming them or doing the sets for them or something in that general vicinity.#I also was considering being a corporate psychologist. or whatever its called.. oh from google:#''Industrial and organizational (I/O) psychologists study and assess individual group and organization dynamics in the workplace''#I don't think I even knew what the job entailed. I was at the time just thinking like.. the type of person that comes into a business offic#and gives everyone personality assessments or does MBTI or big-5 testing crap for whatever reason that some businesses get that#done for people. Really i just wanted to be in a Corporate Big Office setting yet still do psychology. Because I used to be really fixated#on living in a big city. Like the ideas of everything being walkable. picking up a coffee in the morning. walking to my job in a Big#Skyscraper Building. people watching in a huge hotel lobby for lunch. flying frequently (I love airplanes and airports aesthetically).#living in an apartment with a giant window overlooking the city. etc. etc. BUT that was before i had really BEEN to a city. Then I actually#hung around a city a few times and went places and I was like... AUGh... The Sensory Overwhelm.. cars people lights loudness noise scary#everything happening all at once. etc. etc. (though even when I wanted to live in a city i NEVER strove for the Night Life. when i say I#enjoy city imagery I mean like... in the day time. Many people who like cities talk about The Night Life and post pictures of cities all#lit up at night and clubs and dancing and restaurants. none of that EVER appealed to me. perhaps a sign I am not a real city person. Like#I am NOT standing in a crowded bar full of loud people in the middle of the night lol.. get AWAY from me!!) but I do adore the#architecture of like bright white clean sterile modern spaces like huge airport lobbies or malls or etc. I think thats what reminded me of#city and what I liked about the idea of that life. Like I always LOVED the layout of schools and hospitals and trainstations and public#transport in general. Though even then I knew enough that I would not be a good architect/city planner. so I guess my adoration for those#spaces was merely to be channeled into LIVING there. but then I realized I didn't even really want to do that that much. I mean I still#definitely aim to live NEAR a city. like the little areas outside of it. I would never live in a rural place 4 hours from anything. I liter#ally just COULDNT since I need close access to hospitals sometimes lol. But I used to want to live in the CENTER of citites like high rise#condo. and now I'm like.... eh....... perhaps a smaller quieter walkable space nearby lol.. ANYWAY.. alternate me in my Business Suit eheh
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*said with increasing distress, eyes blodshot and an empty mug in hand* you guys remember writing right????? you guys remember posting fic and publishing things and talking to editors about potential projects right???? you guys remember being creative in your creative jobs and not just rereading old work and having a panic attack over the time wasted over curating hyperspecific character playlists that you get mad about five minutes later right????? i'm not insane right????? creative block is normal even if it lasts for months right???? i haven't written a fic in YEARS but it's ok i'm ok i have to finish TWO original pieces for next week that I haven't even started but it'll probably be fineeeee I'm totally not being a complete and raving lunatic about it it's probably gonna be okay <3 yay <3
#AND I STILL HAVEN'T APPLIED FOR MY NEW SHOW IN THEATRES ?1!!!!???? AJAAGAGAHAHAHFGH#BABYGIRL I CAN BE DRY IN WAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE FOR PROJECTS THAT ARE ALREADY EVEN PLANNED OUT#the words just won't come out idk#ok so i attended one of the most prestigious universities in the country re: my field of expertise and carefully improved in my craft#just to go into a creative field and be an unemployed fuckhead who won't even write#i mean I am ALSO an academic that is very much true as well. but you don't really earn money from that either now do you#especially not in humanities#anyway. i need to go wash some dishes#it'll be fine probably i just need to lock tf in#it sucks being the one in the relationship that has no job no money no prospects and is already a burden to their parents#like literally they're being very nasty about it and like i know they care about me and stuff but they are very much. not supportive#it doesn't mean they're openly hating on it tbh i think they've given up on trying to disagree with my life choices and atp they just judge#when i'm not there. but evidently i find out anyway because of course i do#tbh won't complain about the lack of open support though like it's cool you disapprove of my relationship and my work and my life overall#ok rant over i'm big now. i'm an adult#ACTUALLY should i write a paper on disco elysium maybe that'd cheer me up. DON'T ask me how de is cheerful it isn't#my brain just works in mysterious ways#also gonna write an essay on my relationship with god. and get it published. probably gonna quote dostoievski a couple times as well. maybe#who give a fuck anymore man people these days can write ANYTHING. i love being alive in a world where printing is a thing. also computers#personal
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Size difference.png (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Crackship#Teisel#Meme#I am on a roll with these lol#I knew adding Teisel to my list was only a matter of time#I am a weakwilled individual with one fatal flaw#Anyway (lol)#ZEX really has his work cut out for him with Teisel haha - it's very fortunate he's so determined and enjoys a challenge 'cause otherwise!#Teisel is hard to pin down - I mean Other Than That lol - he's an interesting guy :0#Rough around the edges and a family man ♪ And if I get to draw long hair and big muscles then all the better hehe#And he has a cute nose! He has the bridge of the nose thing that I like so much!! Yes!!#As for the rest of him - hm! I've only had passing thoughts up to this point and getting into his head is...Something lol#It's well done to be certain it definitely Makes Me Feel it's just hard to ascribe a name to that Feeling just yet#Needs a bit more time to tumble smooth I suppose lol#One thing I know I like because it makes me sad - lol - is ZEX projecting some of his feelings about DAX onto Teisel - unexpected!#It's extremely interesting how despite his deep abiding love and fascination with Otherness he's gotten increasingly homesick#Finding things charming about humans that remind him of VUX! You can tell he's a bit desperate for the familiar :'0#So isolated from even himself ah 💔 Hang in there ZEX!#At least he has some fun distractions hehe ♪ New things to learn and consider! Teisel keeps throwing him curveballs!#Both of them circling each other like ''? Isn't it your turn?'' lol#They both come off as aggressive in their own way and then swing-and-a-miss lol#And then there's how Teisel frames him as far as age goes - or really how everyone does pffft#It is So funny to me every time anyone refer to ZEX as ''old'' now that his age has been more or less established - at least pointed at#The fact that he might not even be in his human-equivalent 50s what is this who this lol he's not old! And Max /definitely/ isn't haha#He is the slightest itty-bittiest willowiest little twink y'ever did see pfft#I have been waiting to use that meme template for someone for ages I am so glad that I finally got the chance ♪
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wip wednesday (thursday edition)
1. scene from slider one-shot that may/may-not get cut
2. ice/Mav flirting over “how good a technical demonstration ought to be when your adversaries are in attendance”
3. proposed edit insert scene for “debriefing” actually going into mavericks tour in bosnia
4. proposed edit insert scene for wwgattai ch 8, filling in those vacant yrs with postcards of airplanes & stupid shit
#note these are all really in progress wips#haven’t gotten the wording/pacing down right yet#one more final exam Friday then a couple big projects & then i have a month to work on fics#idk#fuck it we ball#top gun#top gun maverick#icemav#pete maverick mitchell#when we get around to talking about it#tom iceman kazansky#ron slider kerner#thinking about it and all these one shots/edits im writing#are literally just to make up for how poorly written the original wwgattai ch 8 was#just an absolute dearth of knowledge of how those emotional circumstances would play out#which i am now/have been exploring in all these new one-shots/edits#the post-rooster-papers-pulling situation is always so difficult to wrestle with#just no idea how it would go with these characters#anyway
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Ended up adding that third row of double crochet, but now...
I think I can safely say I'm done. All that's left to do is tie it off, weave in the tail, and then trim a few imperfections, & then it'll be complete.
Compare this to the blanket Without the border ^ and it really does look much fuller now.
It's *very* big, and it's very heavy, but that's its purpose. It's essentially a weighted blanket. But crocheted entirely by hand. By Me.
Hefty. It does take up a lot of space, but it folds up quite nicely. I enjoy how uniform the crochet pattern of it is.
And with how big the overall blanket is, I don't think the third row of double crochet border looks strange. In fact, I like the texture of it all together. Very uniform & wonderful to run my fingers along.
And, most notably, this entire thing was finished in exactly a week. I'll take that as a real accomplishment.
#speculation nation#crochet shit#dont mind the mess in my room lol. for i am a slob.#and now that i have finished this blanket. i will work on my infinite scarf thing.#and by that i mean it's not an infinite scarf. it's just going to be a really really long chain of 20 stitch rows treble crochet#i have a big ball of yarn and i just kinda wanna see how long i can make it lol#essentially a crochet 'project' that's just an excuse to Keep On Going.#u can see the ball of it peeking out from under the finished blanket. the teal and white thing#and you can see the start of the scarf-thing in the second to last picture. i was working on that last night.#ah scarf-things. my favorite thing to make. i dont even wear scarves. but i do like making long chains of crochet and Calling it a scarf.#i just like the feeling of crocheting. keeps my hands occupied. wonderful to do while watching things.#and thus the true purpose of the scarf-things: something for my hands to do while im watching shows.#truly the adhd delight.
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Oh yeah while I’m being suicidal and making announcements and since it’s relevant kinda bc I’m updating refs: I’m only doing revenges and maybe attacking mutuals on Art Fight this year, I had a terrible time last year and I’m not putting myself through that disappointment again
#ig if I’m still alive by then I mean it’s pretty questionable rn#given how bad everything is#it’s not even that I didn’t really get attacked it’s like everything I drew just looked awful#and I felt really terrible for even attacking basically anyone#bc I could tell no one really liked what I gave them#I can’t put myself through that again I don’t want to feel that bad again#last AF caused the worst burnout I have ever experienced I think and I am only KINDA recovering NOW#Literally the only reason I’m even participating is bc bestie is and I like giving them things#otherwise… I have big projects to work on…#which are making bad progress bc OTV PMV has been conceptualized since March and I haven’t drawn a single frame#things are so bad#things are so so bad#I’m so sorry for everything#I should’ve ended everything in 2020 like I was supposed to
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Song of the Day: May 19
"Big Deal” by LeAnn Rimes
#song of the day#two months precisely since I got word of the Idiot Project :(#today (meaning tomorrow I suppose. in two hours when I have to be awake and at work again) I find out how hard the new requirements will be#hopefully not too bad? hopefully I can outsource a lot of the new needs for the short-term and get it up and running well enough#and then have plenty of time to work on more permanent fixes? hopefully?#anyway I accidentally ate all the chopped habanero I prepped to go with today's dinner and now I am Warm#it was a little under two peppers. seeds included but also I ate a bunch of yogurt and rice with it so I'm fine#(dog room on fire 'I'm fine' but the dog is breathing the fire lol)#an excellent song! big voice big swell to it real good beat and a fun attitude to sing#'big deal / so what / who cares / you just got lucky that's all / it was / I swear#if I hear another word about / candlelight and long-stem roses / how you're falling head over heels / in love / so what / big deal'#the big big build on the bridge into the final punch too such a wonderful sound#'congratulations / I'm just / so happy for you / I can't contain the way I feel - big deal! big deal'
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