#anyway. i need to go wash some dishes
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roombagreyjoy · 27 days ago
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*said with increasing distress, eyes blodshot and an empty mug in hand* you guys remember writing right????? you guys remember posting fic and publishing things and talking to editors about potential projects right???? you guys remember being creative in your creative jobs and not just rereading old work and having a panic attack over the time wasted over curating hyperspecific character playlists that you get mad about five minutes later right????? i'm not insane right????? creative block is normal even if it lasts for months right???? i haven't written a fic in YEARS but it's ok i'm ok i have to finish TWO original pieces for next week that I haven't even started but it'll probably be fineeeee I'm totally not being a complete and raving lunatic about it it's probably gonna be okay <3 yay <3
#AND I STILL HAVEN'T APPLIED FOR MY NEW SHOW IN THEATRES ?1!!!!???? AJAAGAGAHAHAHFGH#BABYGIRL I CAN BE DRY IN WAYS YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE FOR PROJECTS THAT ARE ALREADY EVEN PLANNED OUT#the words just won't come out idk#ok so i attended one of the most prestigious universities in the country re: my field of expertise and carefully improved in my craft#just to go into a creative field and be an unemployed fuckhead who won't even write#i mean I am ALSO an academic that is very much true as well. but you don't really earn money from that either now do you#especially not in humanities#anyway. i need to go wash some dishes#it'll be fine probably i just need to lock tf in#it sucks being the one in the relationship that has no job no money no prospects and is already a burden to their parents#like literally they're being very nasty about it and like i know they care about me and stuff but they are very much. not supportive#it doesn't mean they're openly hating on it tbh i think they've given up on trying to disagree with my life choices and atp they just judge#when i'm not there. but evidently i find out anyway because of course i do#tbh won't complain about the lack of open support though like it's cool you disapprove of my relationship and my work and my life overall#ok rant over i'm big now. i'm an adult#ACTUALLY should i write a paper on disco elysium maybe that'd cheer me up. DON'T ask me how de is cheerful it isn't#my brain just works in mysterious ways#also gonna write an essay on my relationship with god. and get it published. probably gonna quote dostoievski a couple times as well. maybe#who give a fuck anymore man people these days can write ANYTHING. i love being alive in a world where printing is a thing. also computers#personal
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david-watts · 11 days ago
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I think at this point I'm immune to gaslighting like fucking try me. don't say 'I haven't rearranged the pantry' when you have, actually, and made a massive fuss about it
#further evidence that I need to leave this fucking house because oh GOD I literally can't have anything#I can't! packets of curry? gone! we don't need that when we have fucking keen's curry powder#which is not the same thing and also I hate that stuff because it gets used as an ingredient in the worst dishes known to man#this man at least.#I bought some batter mix packets to spice up when I do cook katsu and those have gone. pak choy? gone.#anyway so I think 'well can't cook what I was going to' and so I go to try and make something else only to discover food encrusted#onto everything I touch. it's all greasy too. it's disgusting. and I can't say anything about it because it's my fault apparently#like it's my fault for not washing up that everything's dirty. WHY CAN'T YOU WASH UP??? WHY IS IT MY FAULT#I an't say anything because they just deny deny deny and blame ME. and say 'nothing can be your fault can it'#well if it's very fucking obviously NOT MY FAULT. of COURSE it's not! dodging the blame at every opportunity because it's just nicer#if it's the cockup dropout grandson that you don't like.#I'm already quite upset because I feel like I'm in trouble for having needed new clothes since nobody actually wants to stop the dog#from eating mine. like if you didn't want to have to spend money don't fucking. stand there whenever you see her steal things#and don't randomly open my door to snoop because I know you do that. I've seen you do it. it's fucking weird#anyway don't lie to my face and call me crazy when I know that you're lying. you've done this too much for me to fall for it
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salvadorbonaparte · 10 months ago
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I don't know why but when I'm home long enough I'll just turn into a teenager again. Fighting over stupid things. Crawling into my room afterwards
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unnonexistence · 3 months ago
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putting labels on things can be a really good adhd accomodation
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bluenotemagpie · 1 year ago
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finished editing my PhD thesis. just have a few more i's to dot and t's to cross with the paperwork, then i can turn it in.
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sanchoyo · 1 year ago
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i actually love doing dishes i cant relate to the dish washing haters my hands get to be warm and i always have huge epiphanies while doing them somehow. like u know how some writers say their best ideas come to them in the shower. its like that for me but Dishes
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cutearose · 2 years ago
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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
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palms-upturned · 2 years ago
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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aouuugh my uterus......
#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain#and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it#like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works#so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time#i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone#just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all#but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want#but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability#which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need#but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a#break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man#sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things#and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable#factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most#and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset#man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower#and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore#maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work#all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think#.diaries#oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭
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mosspapi · 5 months ago
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My mother used up almost all the bandaids I brought out here and when I mentioned it she was like. "Well I didn't use That many but there are some out here so it's fine" and I'm like?? Then why did you need mine if we had some already?????? Wh-
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webbluvrsugar · 21 days ago
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hi! i absolutely adore your writing omgg
if it’s not too much trouble i was thinking maybe ethan landry x fem reader and continuing with that dynamic of the dom gf + sub bf in public but vice versa in bed? LOTS of size kink (if you’re comfortable writing it ofc) and maybe some degradation from ethan? ugh that would just be sooo 😩😩😩
tysm in advance, no rush in writing, and don’t forget to eat and drink water!!
— 🦚
a/n: guyyys it’s official!! I have my first emoji anon <333 and of course bae, tyyy sm!!!
proofread
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﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆. ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭ casual dominance with Ethan in and out of bed
Outside of bed, it’s like you both have your roles assigned to each other, you take complete dominance, you ask him to do simple thing you could do like — carry your books, your purse and even cleaning your shared dorm for weeks and weeks without stopping, it was something he found particularly annoying, specially when you basically did nothing compared to him.
“Babe, do you think you can wash those dishes for me?” You’d ask the taller man in front of you, standing right next to the sink.
“Can’t you do them? You’re already close and I’m kinda busy right now.” He mutters, focuses on whatever project he’s working in his computer, slightly nibbling on his thumb.
“Come on… you always do them for me.” You say in indignation, crossing your arms and huffing before you sit down on the couch.
“Yeah but I’ve been doing them for weeks, and again, I’m busy.”
It almost serves as a warning, and by now, you’d stop, you’d do your own dishes yourself, but you really can’t find it in you to stop when you just want him to do one simple chore. — Why can’t he do them anyways? He’s not that busy, is he?
“Ethan are you serious? It’s like two dishes and you spend all your time in that computer, you can spare some time to do it for me, it’s not that difficult.”
See, that’s what does it for him, because he finally stops what he’s doing to look back at you, raising a brow as if daring you to keep acting that way, and when you do say something else, it doesn’t take more than two seconds for him to toss you over his shoulder and take you to bed.
He’s on top of you — all over you the way he likes it, fucking some sense into you with some quick and hard thrusts, one hand wrapped around your throat while the other gently holds your waist.
“This is just what you needed, huh?” He scoffs. “Some dick so you can finally learn to stop bothering me and do your own shit.”
You don’t respond, instead, you press your eyes shut while one hand paws at the one at your throat, moaning as you try to make him let go.
“Uh-uh, you’re gonna learn your lesson, you’re gonna learn that when I say no, it means — I’m fucking busy.” He groans.
He squeezes your neck a little tighter, bring his other hand down and slightly fiddles with your clit, loose and messy movements that somehow do get you closer.
“And after this —“ he breathes, leans down to whisper on your neck. “You’re gonna wash your fucking dishes.”
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midnightwriter21 · 2 years ago
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demon slayer hcs: the hashira men as boyfriends
characters: tengen, sanemi, giyuu, rengoku, muichiro, obanai
AN: i don’t write for gyomei srry
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TENGEN
- this isn’t just a little fling
-mans doesn’t wanna be ur bf
-he wants to be your HUSBAND
- and he’s gonna make that happen ASAP
- and when y’all get married you’re not just getting a husband
- ur getting 3 wives too
- it’s a package deal
- overprotective!!
- the way he made his wives promise to prioritize their lives over the mission
- my heart was bursting
- carries u around
- when tengen is around ur feet hardly ever touch the floor
- doesn’t matter how big or tall u are
- he’s bigger and taller
-he's big all over if ykyk
-nicknames include: sweetheart, princess, baby
- and don’t think he’s saying those to be cute
- he’s absolutely mocking you
-which brings me to…
- this man teases the HELL out of you
- but with love
- he loves you just as much as he loves his wives
- in his mind ur alrdy married
- and he is NOT letting you go
- or letting any harm come to you as long as he can help it
- 4 lifer fr
- id marry him
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SANEMI
-i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again
-he’d tear it UP
-and i’d let him
- loves you so much
- doesn’t show it in public
- but in private?
- clingy as fUck
- he’s like ur shadow fr
- will follow u around all day
- hands on ur waist
- arm around ur shoulder
- holding ur hand
- he will not let go of u when ur alone
- in public he’s a lot less touchy
- but he will still stand near you
- jealous af
- every slayer knows by now to stay tf away from you or face the wrath of the wind pillar
- you belong to him
- makes sure they know it
- makes sure you know it
-hickey MASTER
-no i will not elaborate
- everybody knows sanemi is a little rough around the edges
- so there are days when it’s hard for him to open up to you
- but he does try
- he’s got a reputation to keep up!
-gotta act tough
-no weaknesses!!
- except for u
-he’s so soft for u he can’t help it
- nicknames: dumbass, idiot, & feather (my personal favorite)
-like i said he is almost always physically connected to u in some way when ur alone
-ignore him? he's throwing u over his shoulder
-he's strong he can manhandle u all over the place
-sheeeeeshhhhh manhandle me however u want sir
-claims ur super light no matter ur size
-hence the nickname "feather"
-i love him
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GIYUU
-ik damn well this man had EVERONE in a chokehold from the first second he showed up
-speaking of chokeholds... ;)
-put me in one pls sir
-anyways
-awkward as fuck
-but he tries for u
-terrible with physical affection
-but we all know he's SOOO touch starved
-you'll have to initiate any type of physical touch
-and make sure he's not uncomfortable
-but really there's nothing he wants more than to touch you
-takes a very long time to say "i love you"
-but can u blame him??
-every good thing the poor man has ever had has been ripped away from him :(
-because of this he's veryyyy protective
-cause he'll be damned if the last person he has that accepts him and loves him for all he is
-is hurt or killed
-100% will die for u without a second thought
-not really a nickname type of guy
-remember he's awkward as hell
-most you'll get is a "-chan" attached to ur name
-and even that is only when y'all are alone
-but still
-even if he doesn't always show it
-you are always on his mind
-he's on a mission and walking through a market?
-he's buying you a hairpin or som
-walking through a forest and sees some flowers?
-"i wonder if she'll like these"
-AND HE'S PICKING U A BOUQUET
-ugh soft for bf giyuu
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RENGOKU
-sunshine boy!!!
- epitome of golden retriever boyfriend
-all smiles all the time
-follows u around like lost puppy
-shows off for u
-yk when ur around kids and they're like "watch this" and then they jump and spin a circle lmao
-thats him
-"did you see what i just did?!"
-if u didnt...
-he's doing it again
-wants to impress you so bad
-also you will never have to lift a finger in his presence
-service bf!!
-you need the dishes washed and the floor swept?
-he's on it
-you need help styling ur hair?
-welcome to rengoku's hair salon
-will attempt to dress you in the morning
-and by dress you, i mean he's tugging ur shirt over ur head
-zipping up ur pants
-and tying ur shoes
-brags about you to anyone and everyone
-the other hashira can't have a single conversation with him without him bringing you up somehow
-compliments compliments compliments!!!
-he loves you and isn't afraid to show it
-nicknames from him: my love, my beautiful girl, sweetheart
-constantly confessing his love
-also lowkey speaks poetry for u
-some shit like
-"my light in the darkness, the one who gives me strength, you set my heart ablaze just by allowing me the privilege of seeing your smile"
-ugh he's the sweetest baby
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MUICHIRO
-my airheaded angel baby
-i love him sm stop
-baby boy has a terrible memory
-that we alrdy knew
-but!
-he tries so hard for you
-keeps a little journal with notes and information about you
-so if he forgets he can remind himself over and over
-when he's on missions away from you he reads it so he can think about you to pass the time
-can not and will not remember anniversaries
-unless they're written in that journal
-will pick u flowers
-hope ur not allergic cause he's not gonna remember that
-but it's the thought that counts
-the fact that he's thinking about you at all counts
-you wanna go on a date?
-your dates consist of watching the clouds and taking naps together
-maybe a picnic if ur lucky
-no nicknames from him
-he calls you by your name
-its all he can remember
-he's the cutest
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OBANAI
-like sanemi, he's a lot less affectionate in public
-however, he's not afraid to express his thoughts about you
-at least not to the other hashira
-might not be glued to your side
-but he's got eyes on u at all times
-and someone is talking about you?
-the second he hears ur name leave somebodies mouth
-he's tuned in
-and they better not say anything negative either
-mans turns murderous
-they will wake up to a snake in their bed
-will prob threaten them within an inch of their life
-don't have to worry abt other people while he's around
-cause he's got everything
-and i mean EVERYTHING taken care of
-protective but not pushy
-i feel like obanai trusts you and your ability to handle yourself
-but thats not gonna stop him from watching over you
-you're not drinking enough water?
-here comes obanai with a cup and u better drink it all
-haven't had lunch yet?
-he's sharing his with you. and will force feed u if need be.
-on a mission with him?
-he's not gonna push u behind him or anything
-but nothing is gonna get the chance to bring any harm to you either
-he's got ur back
-he's pretty vanilla with the nicknames
-nothing too crazy
-especially in public
-mostly uses ur first name
-might add a "-chan" in there every once in a while
-when ur alone he'll call you "sweetie"
-acts like a hard ass
-but he's soft for u
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kajibunny · 5 months ago
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⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ we're just friends! (or are we?) w/ the wind breaker boys ✧⋆⭒˚。
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✿ featuring: hajime umemiya, jo togame, haruka sakura, hayato suo, ren kaji ✿ fluff, mutual pining, hidden feelings (aaaa), suggestive for suo, a lil angst (with comfort) for kaji ✿ a/n: i guess by now everyone can tell that i’m very into the friends to lovers trope ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა~♡ it’s def my fav!!! and these wb bois are all perfect friend material, and ofc boyfriend material too! enjoy, cuties! ✿ wc: 2.3k
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— you have a closely intimate friendship to the point that everyone around you thinks you two are dating, though you know you're not lovers (yet), but are definitely more than just friends.
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ʚɞ umemiya 
— sharing hello and goodbye kisses with each other.
ꕤ you and umemiya are the definition of 'affectionate', as your love languages both consist of physical touch. but maybe with each other, a little bit too much for just friends.
ꕤ the word "boundaries" did not exist to the both of you once you were within arm's reach of each other. you and umemiya give each other hello and goodbye hugs, sometimes cheek and forehead kisses, as a greeting, right? to be friendly. though he doesn't seem to do that as often to other people, or at all, even. just to you. only to you. 
ꕤ he also loves cuddling up to you whenever he takes a nap on the rooftop, inviting you to join him in picking out some veggies that you two could make a meal together with.
ꕤ while you two were cooking together, you definitely gave off a 'married couple' vibe with the way you held the ladle up for umemiya to taste, the way he had pressed his palm to your back whenever he needed to pass through, the way he fed you with his own spoon and giggling while complimenting how delicious your cooking was, the way he wrapped his arms around you and hummed while he helped you wash the dishes. anyone who saw would have immediately bid their congratulations and would think you two are newlyweds.
ꕤ hiragi took one look at the both of you appearing all lovey-dovey, and the confusion of whether you two were dating or not made his stomach scrunch up in pain. 
ꕤ umemiya calls you such adorable names when referring to you in conversation, too. his tiny bean, his ray of sunshine, his cherry blossom, it was always "his", as if you belonged to him. he was openly affectionate with you and was not afraid to show it.
ꕤ many guys also took a liking to you, but never attempted to even make a move or confess, because they were already under the assumption that you were umemiya's, seeing you two playing with each other's fingers and comparing hand sizes like you were made for each other. but how could that be, you and umemiya were just friends, weren't you?
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ʚɞ suo 
— you get a special seat (on his lap).
ꕤ suo just can't seem to keep his eyes and his hands off of you. you always have to be within his vicinity, or he's not sure how he'll be able to stand it. 
ꕤ he sees you at the corner of his eye, after you have made your way back from the restroom. you and the other bofurin first years were at an izakaya, and the moment you returned, all of their eyes were glued to you and suo, as if they already knew something was going to ensue. you two have been friends for a long time, but the way you acted towards each other felt like you two have been lovers for a long time.
ꕤ suo was always up in your space, whether its pulling random pranks on you, inviting you to go out then paying for everything even though you tried to stop him (nothing can stop suo), visiting your home and leaving an endless supply of tea enough to last you a whole year - his excuse being it's there for whenever he comes over, and multiple instances which all prove that suo was no doubt a very clingy friend. not that you minded, anyway. you were used to suo and his antics.
ꕤ he had his ways of persuading you too (he is the master of negotiation, after all), and you just couldn't resist him, as you loved being around suo just as much. 
ꕤ this time, he took advantage of your short absence and made himself comfortable in your chair, and wouldn't even move an inch. "hayato, that's my seat!" you exclaimed. "hm?" suo tilts his head. "you can just sit on my lap, then." he smiles, with that damn mischievous smile you know all too well. you tried to get him to move by gently pushing him back and forth but suo seemed to not have a care in the world. 
ꕤ you can't tell whether suo is serious or joking sometimes, but nirei and sakura seems to have their doubts that you two are "just friends" as you both claim.  "are you sure the two of you aren't dating?" nirei asks you. sakura blushes and lets you know his thoughts, too. "y-yeah...! you two are unusually close!" you always reply to them with an astounding "no!" but suo just laughs and does not affirm nor deny any of their claims. 
ꕤ suo pulls you in close, making you sit on his lap regardless of your little outburst, and you weren't sure if it was hot in the izakaya, or if it's just you, but you certainly felt warmth overcome your body while it was pressed flush against his, his arms wrapped around your waist nonchalantly. "hayato!" you protested, trying to squirm your way out of his grasp, and pushing away all intrusive thoughts about his and your bottom halves being so close together, only separated by thin pieces of clothing.
ꕤ nirei, the most observant of the bunch (next to suo), points out that you even call suo by his first name, and that's another one of the reasons why you two seem like you're dating. 
ꕤ with suo, everything seems to be a mystery. but in suo's perspective, it's all clear. he loves you, whether it's as a friend or as a lover, that's for him to know and for you to find out. 
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ʚɞ togame 
— leaves everyone on read except you.
ꕤ togame just doesn't understand why people need to type out what they want to say, aren't calls more personalized? he didn't understand at all, until he met you.
ꕤ you were, to put it directly, a chatterbox in all forms. you loved to talk, regardless if it's chats, calls, or in person, you just yapped your heart out to him everytime, and he lives for it. he wouldn't miss a second of you opening your mouth and giving him a taste of your innermost thoughts. he absolutely adored talking to you, because it was you, and you were special to him.
ꕤ the shishitoren guys thought it was so funny and adorable whenever togame picks up his phone so quickly because he thought it was you calling, then scowls when he realizes it isn't, and immediately silences it and shoves it back in his pocket. this caused him to set a different ringtone just for you, so he could pick up on the very first ring.
ꕤ you were also the first reply he ever sent via sms, a simple "ok" to your long message talking about how you thought it was amazing that he won the town's annual eating contest for many consecutive years in a row and that you were totally ready to challenge him next year by stuffing your face with okonomiyaki and invited togame to join you and have some with you so you could keep an eye on the competition. he found your personality totally amusing, his face immediately lighting up with a gentle smile whenever you sent him messages.
ꕤ anyone who sees how happy he is while he rereads your texts over and over would interpret that as togame being totally, irrevocably, head over heels in love with you.
ꕤ he doesn't actually reply to anyone at all ever, but he wanted to share all his firsts with you, he just couldn't help it. you were captivating, witty in your words, and very very charismatic, bombarding him with the cutest and funniest messages everyday. of course, he doesn't mind at all and is always looking forward to them.
ꕤ you two stay on calls for longer than eight hours at a time talking about how each other's day went, and yet you wonder why people always think you two are dating. normal friends don't stay up until the break of dawn chattering for hours on end, expressing all the things they like about each other, do they? at least togame knows he wouldn't do it with anyone that wasn't you, as he valued his precious sleep time dearly, but as time went on, you became more precious and more dear to him than his sleep time ever could.
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ʚɞ kaji 
— play fighting like an old married couple.
ꕤ kaji is the type to never go down without a fight. needless to say, that also applies to you. but your fights with him were different, more banter adjacent, more affectionate and playful. only lasting for a few minutes.
ꕤ kaji had a huge soft spot for you, as even though you did irritate the heck out of him sometimes, somehow he still could not stay angry or annoyed at you for more than one second. he just couldn't resist the way you crossed your arms and huffed with your cute little frown. he thought you were the most adorable angry little thing he's ever seen and wanted to pinch your cheeks out of cuteness aggression and frustration, but he would never say it to your face.
ꕤ one time, you two had a heated argument because he said he could hear you just fine but wouldn't bother to take off his headphones. you argued that it was impolite and that you won't talk to him at all anymore if he does that again, and you two were at each other's throats, giving one another a piece of your mind, until kaji mutters a 'sorry', and you began to sob uncontrollably and let him hold you in his arms while he stroked your hair to comfort you because you two couldn't stand the intensity and tension of being angry at each other for long.
ꕤ you had your less serious fights too, like when you made him a bento box for lunch and you two had a picnic together with his vice captains. you fed him the food with your chopsticks, kaji teasing you by saying "it's bland." and you reasoning out that kaji was 'as salty as his tastebuds'. kaji then asked you if you wanted to have 'a taste of his fists', which ended up with kusumi and enomoto snickering in the background wishing that the both of you would just date each other already.
ꕤ whenever you two argued, your faces were so close to one another's that you were just a few centimeters shy from kissing, the tip of your noses touching. kaji had to hold himself back, a lot. like an insane amount. friends didn't want to kiss and make out with their friends, right? but kaji did. and you did too.
ꕤ his way of apologizing is by suddenly leaving a lollipop with you. he puts them in your bag, or places them in your pocket while you weren't looking. it was his little peace offering, one that you treasured and collected, accumulating dozens of them by your bedside table. kaji would gladly give up his last lollipop for you, and no one could argue otherwise.
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ʚɞ sakura 
— blushing wildly whenever you two are around each other.
ꕤ you and sakura always looked like you two were having a blushing competition. the littlest touches and the most minimal contact had both of your cheeks heating up in response.
ꕤ it was like sakura's blushing was contagious. ever since you two became good friends (if you could call it that, though it seemed to be more than that at times), being around him triggered a whole bunch of embarrassing and hilarious but sweet situations.
ꕤ you once dragged sakura off to his very first cherry blossom viewing in the park, and needless to say, with both of you being a chaotic (but cute) duo, it kind of felt like you were on a wild rollercoaster ride with him. 
ꕤ you took a stolen photo of sakura while he was mesmerized by the falling pink petals. you thought he looked adorable, but sakura thought otherwise. he was a blushing mess and told you to delete them, but you said they were cute and that you were going to make it your wallpaper. 
ꕤ sakura chased after you, and tripped over a stray cherry blossom branch, leaving you two in quite a suggestive position, sakura on top of you, pinning your wrist down with his hand. your cheeks were as pink as the cherry blossoms, and tried as you might, you couldn't keep your eyes off his lips. friends don't observe their friends with wanting eyes, do they? 
ꕤ suo and nirei instantly noticed how huge of a klutz you were around sakura. they also noticed how curious sakura was about you, always (not so subtly) asking nirei how much he knew about you, or your likes and dislikes, then asked him not to tell you that he asked about you. but suo told you instead, because they were your biggest supporters and cheerleaders (and biggest shippers, of course) after all. 
ꕤ on sakura's birthday, they made you hold the cake and surprise him, which was a huge mistake, because before it could even reach him, you slipped and fell over him. luckily, sakura had good reflexes and was able to catch you before you completely toppled over. some of the smushed cake ended up on his and your face, which you tried to wipe off as you apologized, but sakura dipped his finger onto the icing that got on your cheek and licked his finger. "t-the cake's not bad, i guess..." he looked away from your smiling face as you greeted him happy birthday in a sing-song tune.
ꕤ suo, being a menace, greeted sakura happy birthday as well as gave him a 'best wishes to the happy couple' greeting card, that sakura threw back at him like it had a virus on it. 
ꕤ sakura definitely had a memorable birthday that year, but now that he thought about it, all of his memories that were memorable to him had one thing in common: you were in all of them. you, the greatest gift he could ever ask for on any and every occasion. 
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lumibuns-blog · 1 month ago
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Ghost x Soap's roomie
Ghosts and Gaz stay the week and Soap's apartment. Ghost falls head over heels for you and can't seem to think of anything else.
its just two idiots in love at this point and also Soap and Gaz are there too lmao. I have more for this concept on my page or under the tag if you like it💪
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Dinner was finished quicker than Simon would have preferred considering he still couldn't get the image of your sly smile out of his head, not to mention the piece of food he was sure was stuck in his throat from the laughing fit you had sent him and Gaz into with your well timed nut-tap. You were intoxicating to him, it was almost insufferable how unable he was to get your voice, your face, your figure, everything, out of his head. He could swear that he's never felt this way before about anyone, ever. It was like the moment he set eyes on you, his mind had made itself up and all he could do was let himself fall even further and further in love with you.
So he now watched as you forced a very upset Soap to do the dishes, not without great effort.
"aw 'bon why tha' hell do I have'ta do this shite it's fuckin feechie" he whined
"'cause I do the cooking, that's the deal we have" you bit back "plus, I've cleaned our bathroom before" you turned to face both Simon and Kyle, Simon couldn't help but notice he was the one you locked eyes with "you wanna see nasty, use the shower when he's finished" you sighed
"oye! Not fair" Johnny warned, an accusing finger pointed towards you "you shed more than a hound when 'ure in there, ya clog the damn drain"
"excuse me! I clean up after myself at least, any hair you find in there is yours!" you yelled back, clearly embarrassed
"nae, ma' hair ain't long with split ends, er' whateva' the hell 'ure always moanin' 'bout in there"
you had half a mind to hit him across the face for that, "I don't know, hairs getting a little long there princess" you teased, gesturing to his grown out mohawk "need to get it trimmed? or you worried they might leave you looking bald again like last time?" you grinned
"awe no way!" Gaz grinned "you got pictures?" he ran over to you. Simon was curious too but didn't make a show of it, settling to sit back with his arms crossed instead, surveying the chaos.
"sure do" you beamed, ready to pull out your phone
"Naw naw!" Johnny scrambled to intercept his friend "nae happenin'"
you flung the phone behind you, out of his reach "then wash the fucking dishes man" you scoffed, shoving the sponge into his chest "thought they called you Soap for a reason?"
"feckin whatever" Johnny groaned, returning to the sink and flicking the tap on
you beamed and turned to head towards your room, calling out your dibs on the shower. Not before holding your phone up to Kyle and Simon, mouthing an 'I'll show you later' before slipping out of view.
"cheeky little mother fucker..." Soap mumbled, the half smile on his face turning into a look of disgust as he touched some wet food.
"so...." Gaz started after a moment "Never did decide where we 'going to be sleepin' mate?"
"well 've only got two beds" Johnny said, back turned to his friends "an' mine can only fit one a you's plus ma'self" he continued "an' like -ell I'm not going to sleepin on 'ma own bed while 'm home , so one ya will have-tae take the couch" he paused "unless the other one wants to bunk up with 'er" he laughed
Simon froze simply at the idea, suddenly incredibly uncomfortable in his slacks at the thought of being right up next to you while you rested. If you were closer would be be able to put his hands of you? trace the contours of your waist with his finger tips, burry his nose in the back of your head and wrap his hulking arms around your smaller figure? Feel the curve of your ass as you pressed against-
he bit the inside of his cheek and gripped the counter top so hard his knuckles turned white, "I'll take the couch" he huffed "'ure smaller anyway" he gestured to Kyle
"Whateva' mate" Gaz rolled his eyes, taking his friends jab in stride.
You had claimed dibs of the shower first because you were well aware that three, probably filthy, men (all of which had to be over 6 feet) were bound to need to use it as well and it would be pointless to try and wash your hair after that disaster.
"I'm done!" you called absentmindedly from the hallway, a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair sticking to your neck and back. Simon had found a very interesting part of the ceiling to focus on while you went back to your room, "try to not blow the thing up, I've got a down payment on this thing" you said, closing the door behind you.
silence fell over the room once again, as all three men glanced between themselves. Gaz was first, he took off at a run towards the bathroom door, determined to be second. Soap started off not more then a moment after him,
"aye ya prick, it's my house this?!" he grabbed for Gaz who held on steady to the door
"exactly mate! we're the guests!" Kyle chided "so be a good host 'an bugger off!"
"Nae 'm not lettin' you's skimp me outta a hot shower" Soap yelled attempting to pull Gaz back, but the man had such a a tight hold on the door he might've pulled out the hinges first.
you reopened the door after hearing the chaos, still in only a towel "the hell is-?" you were cut off almost immediately by ghost stepping in, he grabbed them both by the back collars of their shirts with what seemed like minimal effort, and pulled them off each other.
"Gaz you go first," he growled "Johnny, at least finish drying the bloody dishes before you go runnin' off" he shoved your roommate back into the kitchen
"Lt.! 's no fair he's goin' first! Why do you get to decide?" Soap griped
"on base 'er not, 'm still in charge." Simon said plainly, narrowing his eyes towards his friend, "just be lucky I'm the one yellin' at you for tusslin' around inside"
"In 'ma own home!" Johnny threw his hands up in defeat as Gaz pumped his fist before closing the bathroom door.
for a moment, your eyes met Simon's as you peaked from behind your door and they lingered there. His gaze was so was piercing as he glared from above his mask, that he had (unfortunately) put back in after dinner. His eyes only remained that way for a moment however, for as soon as they met yours, they softened. The harsh lines fell away instantly and his pupils began to dilate when they met yours, not aware you had been watching the whole ordeal.
'why did his eyes have to be so pretty?'
He coughed quickly, tearing his gaze from you before returning to the kitchen himself. Leaving you awe struck, fanning your face behind the closed door of your room.
When it was finally time for him to take a shower, Simon allowed himself a moment of respite in the bathroom before actually cleaning himself off. Away from Johnny's teasing glances and their incessant banter that he hated to admit he had come to be too fond of to reprimand them for, and they knew that all to well. Above all else though, it was a moment to internally process seeing you in nothing but a towel because when he had tried to think it over out there, the evidence of that was all too noticeable. You had looked so fucking good, wet hair, glossy skin, that towel that did absolutely nothing to cover up the swell of your tits as you pressed it to your chest. Even the simple fact that your cheeks still flushed from the heat of the shower sent his whole body into overdrive.
'shit- right, the shower.'
He broke from his thoughts to finally enter the shower but that did nothing to aid him in his situation. On the ledge was your shampoo and various other soaps, much like how your side of the sink was covered in various products and bottles he couldn't name even if he tried. Johnny's side had a toothbrush that was joined by Gaz's wash bag, and that was it. In the shower however, he only saw what were clearly your products. He grumbled and opened the door just a crack,
"Either 'a you got any shower gel?" He yelled through the crack, rather embarrassed at his current situation, "lef' mine at base."
"jus' use 'er's!" Johnny called back from his spot on the couch "'s what I do anyway..."
"You what?!" you yelled from across the flat
"dumbass" Kyle scoffed
"kidding, kidding!" Johnny laughed "Mines the one with the green lid mate, ya don' see it?"
"Fuckin hell...neva'mind!" Ghost responded, closing the door again. He swore he wasn't seeing straight. It didn't help that the whole bathroom already smelt like you, your intoxicating scent invading every breath he took. But to use your products? That was some shit couples do, and he had to stop his mind from getting away from him with that fantasy.
Stepping into the shower once more he located Johnny's soap. Spring rain?, no fucking wonder he hadn't noticed it, who would've thought Soap would use something like this? He quickly washed himself and got dressed, rubbing his hair dry with a towel as he exited the bathroom.
You stood in the kitchen, a large sweatshirt dwarfed your frame. You seemed to be waiting for the kettle of the stove to heat up as you noticed his presence.
"oh I can take that" you smiled, walking over to him and holding out your hand to take his towel from him.
He very reluctantly gave it to you, worried it would smell bad or have something gross on it he hadn't even realized. "was just about to start another lode anyway" you chimed, opening up the closet door and throwing it in the machine before starting it.
Simon couldn't help himself "Colors I'm assuming?" he joked
you whipped around to face him "Now don't you start" you scolded, but the smile and deep red of your cheeks was unmistakable, "Johnny's enough to deal with on his own" you headed back to your kettle
"'m sorry, I'll try to be less of a pain in the arse to ya than he is" Simon chuckled
"that's a low bar" you laughed dully "but thank you"
Simon found conversation to flow freely with you, like it does with the rest of his team but only after he had gotten close to them. He had only known you for a day but still found it so natural to speak to you (if he ignored the deafening sound of his heartbeat and the massive lump in his throat).
"want any tea?" your offer broke the silence as you grinned and held up the now boiling kettle.
"uh- sure" he nodded, was his heart getting louder?
you tossed open one of the cupboards "pick your poison" you chirped, gesturing the stocked shelf of teas.
he rounded the island to inspect the selection, peering over you in such a way that his form eclipsed yours and forced you to move back against the counter top. You held your breath.
"'ere" he handed a small tin containing a non-caffeinated herbal blend down to you and stepped away "is it any good?" he asked, pointing lazily at the tin that you now held.
you tried to shrug your flustered feelings away "Better be, 's what I'm having" you turned to grab him a mug from the shelf.
Simon smiled to himself at the knowledge he picked the same type of tea as you purely by coincidence. Moments later you were handing it to him, "here ya go Ghost" you said placing the hot mug in front of him
"Simon." he responded plainly
"Hm?" you tilted your head a bit
"Simon's fine, ya don't need to be calling me that 'Ghost' shit 'ere" he was staring holes into the kitchen island, wondering if it was weird for him to be asking you to call him by his given name.
"Alright, Simon it is then" you beamed, not missing a beat
christ his name sounded so good when you said it
"sorry guess it was just habit, seeing as thats what Johnny calls you whenever he's home"
"'s fine" he mumbled, a brief pause hung in the air as you both took your first sips of tea. You were right, it was good.
"where they at anyway?" Simon tried to fill the silence
"probably giggling under the covers by now" you scoffed "why? trying to get rid of me?" you joked
"'s not it" Simon answered quickly
"I know I know- I'm just teasing" you smirk "Johnny told me you were a bit quiet so don't feel pressured to talk 'er anything"
He appreciated the sentiment, but not talking to you was possibly the last thing he wanted to do right now. "What else does the little twat say?" Simon asked, a little gruffer than he intended to sound, but his reputation was on the line here.
"Oh just stories from all the dangerous stuff you all get up to, usually the ones where he can say he was the hero" you fully laughed and it sounded like music to Simon's ears "That and he complains about all the work he has to do, usually when he wants to get out of chores"
"sounds 'bout right" Simon smiled lightly and you could have sworn it was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.
At least you didn't think he was some sulking, menacing, edge-lord. I mean he most certainly was most times but he would really prefer it if you didn't think of him like that. Now he just had one more thing to clear up.
"jus' so ya know... I- I didn't use your body wash" he practically had to shove the words out of his mouth he was so tense, but to his surprise you just laughed.
You smiled brightly and waved your hand dismissively, "Don't worry I didn't think you had, I don't blame you for not finding his soap though" you held your mug close to your chest and smiled fondly "He used to use that Head and Shoulder's stuff, you know the one? Anyway, it was nasty so I got him some better stuff and he actually likes it, even if he complains he smells 'like a chick' now" you put that last part in air quotes.
"fair", the soap Simon used on base was Head and Shoulder's. He made a mental note to throw it out and get better stuff the second he got back.
Conversation flowed freely for the next couple minutes as you both finished your drinks, you mostly asked about what it was like living on a military base and he asked about a bit about your graduate studies. Happy just to learn anything about you. When you set your empty mug down on the kitchen counter, he silently glided over with his own and took your mug in his other hand, filling them with water in the sink.
"you really don't have to do that, but thank you" you smiled softly, a yawn escaped you, feeling the tiredness begin to catch up with you.
"don't mind it" he dried his hands off with the kitchen towel. When he looked back at you his heart swelled. you were smiling lightly in the dimly lit kitchen, eyes squinting from even that being too much light. You swayed back and forth slowly, heading nodding slightly every couple of moments. He felt bad for keeping you up but more than that he wished he could just pick you up and whisk you off to bed, curling up next you you and letting you snuggle into his chest. But there was no way he could do something like that, not now anyway, so he settled for the next option
"you look like you're about to fall over love, off to bed now" he said, his voice quiet and gentle as patted you on the back and steered you towards your room.
"aye aye captain" you lazily saluted him and he couldn't help but smile "let me know if ya need anything" you called from the hall "night!"
"yeah g'night" he groaned, shoving himself onto the couch that was much too small for him. He would rather freeze than make you get up to get him another blanket or something. And even though he felt perfectly comfortable he couldn't seem to get to sleep, his heart was just too loud.
*I might make Price come over to give the boys something they left behind just so he can meet/flirt with reader and Simon and get all grumpy and jealous cuz it would be cute <3
Tags:
@sleep101 @urbimom @noisydelusionlove @plk-18 @pinkyfqiry @wwe1rdc0re @vmaxis @jenlvr01 @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @ifsunmibts @callmeluno @nina-from-317 @strawberrygateau @leryg0 @weemansoap @dreamtofus @imjustheretofightforlove @electricmentalitypersona
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moonstruckme · 9 months ago
Note
I really hope you mean here 🤭
Request: "Remus is being rude to the reader due to the upcoming full moon.. make it as angsty as you can"
Thanks for requesting babe <3
cw: migraine, Rem is mean :(
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1.2k words
When you come home from work, the apartment is dark and there’s evidence of Remus’ shit day everywhere. 
The curtains are drawn closed against the sunlight, and there’s a discarded blanket on the couch and several snack containers half-emptied on the coffee table. One of them has tipped onto the floor, a mess of crisps your boyfriend was likely feeling too unwell to tidy. He’s spilled tea on the table, too. These kinds of things are more common in the days before the full moon, but you think he must really be having a rough one. Even a few unwashed dishes in the sink is usually enough to stress Remus out, so he has to have been in a state to leave things like this. 
You brew a fresh cup of tea, grabbing some chocolates from the cabinet in case he didn’t bring any with him, and broach the bedroom. A shape moves under the sheets when the door creaks open. 
“Hi,” you say softly. You kneel by the bed, lightly touching the ends of Remus’ hair. “How are you, love?” 
“Bad,” he mutters from beneath the covers. You wince. He must be, if he won’t even lower the sheets beneath his eyes. 
You do your best to keep the pity from your voice, knowing he’d hate it. “I brought you some tea,” you murmur, “if you want it.”
“Can’t right now.” 
“It’s chamomile,” you coax. “It might help—”
“I can’t.” The low rumble of his voice takes on a hard edge, and you fall instantly silent. You nod even though he can’t see it, setting the tea and chocolate on his nightstand as quietly as you can. 
You don’t tell him you’re going, sure every footstep is agonizingly loud for him. You force down the lump in your throat. Remus is miserable right now; he’s not thinking about how his tone affects you, and that’s not his fault. He doesn’t mean anything by it. You can deal with it, help anyways.
You sweep instead of vacuuming, gathering the little bits of crisps into a dustpan and dumping them in the trash. The half-eaten snacks get reshelved in your cabinets, the puddle of tea cleaned off the coffee table, and candles lit to banish the stale smell in the living room. The cinnamon ones are usually Remus’ favorite, but you trade them out for lavender on the off chance it helps with his headache. You’re washing dishes one at a time so they don’t clatter when the bedroom door creaks open. 
“Hey,” you say, relieved. “Feeling better?” 
“No.” Remus’ voice is low, and the scratch of it tears at your heartstrings. He trudges to the end of the hall, where he stops, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “I need you to be quiet.” 
“Oh, sorry.” You soften your voice, freezing with your hands submerged in the warm dishwater. “I’ve been trying, I didn’t realize you could hear. I’m almost done with this, so—” 
“Could you stop?” he asks, tone going harsh again. “Just, be quiet or find somewhere else to be, please. I can’t deal with this.” 
You swallow against the intrusion in your throat. Will away the heat from your face. “Okay,” you say, the word barely a whisper. 
Remus turns, plodding back to the bedroom. You hear the door shut.
You leave the dishwater to get cold rather than pouring it out and making more noise. You sit down on the couch with a book, eyes skimming over the words as you convince yourself over and over that it’d be stupid to cry about this. Your face heats, then cools. Tears blur your vision and you blink them away. This is ridiculous. Remus is just moody, he didn’t mean it. You know better than to take anything he says to heart right now. You can’t expect your efforts to be properly appreciated, but the important part is to keep making them. When he’s feeling better, he’ll thank you in a million sweet ways, because that’s who he is. He loves you. He didn’t mean it. 
It’s dark outside when the bedroom door creaks open again. You hadn’t noticed night falling, even when the light became too dim for you to make out the words on your page. You set your book down; you hadn’t been reading anyway. 
Remus sits next to you without a word. He leans the side of his head against the cushion with a sigh. 
“Dove?” he murmurs. 
You don’t dare do more than hum in response. 
A scarred hand finds your leg, the thumb sweeping back and forth over your skin. “I’m sorry for snapping at you,” he says quietly. “That was…it was really mean. And undeserved.”
“I’m sorry I was being loud,” you reply, and you can’t help it, your throat clogs all over again. “I was just trying to help.” 
Your voice catches on the last word, and Remus makes a pained sound that has you silencing yourself instantly. He makes another at your response. 
“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he rasps. “Do you want a hug?” 
You bite down on your lower lip. “Are you okay to hug?” 
“Yeah, sweetheart.” 
He meets you in the middle, pressing upon your shoulder blades like he can hold you together by sheer physical force. You try for his sake, swallowing the cries that rise in your throat. 
“I’m sorry,” he says again, palm marking a slow path up and down your back. “You weren’t too loud, I’m just fussy. You were only being your kind self. I had no reason to be so horrid.” 
“You weren’t horrid,” you warble. “I know you’re having a hard time.” 
“That’s no excuse.” His palm makes its way back to your shoulders just in time to feel the first little sob escape you. Remus’ grip tightens. “Aw, dovey. I’m so, so sorry. I can’t believe I spoke to you like that.” 
“It’s okay.” 
“It’s not,” he murmurs, kissing the exposed bit of skin where your shirt is slipping down your shoulder. “It’s not, and—” He pauses, looking around the room for the first time. “Did you clean?” 
You nod against his front, feeling the pained sigh that leaves him. 
“Fuck, I’m awful.” 
“You’re not.” 
“You were cleaning up my mess, and I yelled at you.” Now Remus’ voice sounds a tad raw too. He gathers you closer, stubble scratching your forehead as he kisses your hairline. “My sweet girl. You should have ripped me a new one.” 
“You weren’t yelling,” you point out, teasing a bit now, “and anyway, it seemed like you were already being ripped a new one.” 
“Still,” he mumbles into your hair. “You lit the lavender candles and everything. You deserve to put me through hell.” 
“You’re already going through hell,” you remind him gently, brushing a kiss against his cheek. “I don’t need to help the process along. Do you want some tea, love?” 
Remus hums. “I do, but let me get it. Let me get some for you, too, yeah?” He leans back to look down at you. “You want some nighttime tea, darling?” 
You’re alright really, but you tell him you do anyway. He looks nearly happy as he drags himself into the kitchen, and he won’t stop mollycoddling you for the rest of the night. 
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jinhyun · 2 months ago
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—one touch.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
genre: fluff, pining, non-idol au, best friend’s brother au
word count: 3.5k
summary: when simply flirting wasn’t enough for you to notice that hyunjin was hitting on you, he knew he needed to move on to some physical contact for you to realise. unfortunately for him, the first touch ended up being way harder to achieve than he had intended.
author’s note: it’s hereeee! of course i needed to write how everything went down for hyunie trying to initiate physical contact with y/n :’) it might’ve been hard at first but thankfully he pulled through lol. i hope you guys enjoy! and as always i would love to read your opinions on it<3
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“If I said I was craving hotteok right now,” your voice caught Hyunjin’s attention, making his eyes travel from the TV in front towards you next to him in a heartbeat. “Would you go buy some with me?”
He smiled, shaking his head in amusement. “Do I even have another option? Like, what else am I supposed to do? Wait here for you to come back?”
“I mean, you could…” you agreed.
“As if I’d let you go out alone at night”.
“Nothing I haven’t done before,” you pointed out with a shrug of shoulders. “There’s this stall a couple of streets from here, I won’t take long. Although I guess there is also the chance for you to talk me out of it and just stay here”.
“Nah, you already made me crave hotteok as well now” he sighed, throwing a playful glare at you, which could only have you chuckling the next second. “Let’s put everything away and we can go”.
Agreeing with his small condition, you began to grab the cutlery you’d been using minutes ago, while Hyunjin shoved the empty takeaway boxes into the bags they’d come in, in order to clear the coffee table that had been serving you both as a dining one.
Hyunjin followed right behind you when you made your way to the kitchen, leaving the bags on the counter as you told him to, and then just leaning against it while he stared at you quietly —and rather quickly— washing the dirty dishes.
He couldn’t help his eyes from focusing on your mouth, admiring it for longer than it’d be considered normal, before they travelled down to your waist. Just like him, you’d decided to wear something on the lighter end inside your place, given that the heater was on and, up until then, you had no intentions of going out that night. A white t-shirt had been your go-to that evening, and although it was quite loose, he could still see the curve of your waist under the fabric.
Touch her. Jisung’s words popped up in his head for what felt like the hundredth time that night.
Hand on her back when you pass her by.
Hyunjin’s eyes went to the already dried dishes he supposed you’d washed earlier that day and forgot to put away. If he offered to put them away right then, he’d have to go behind you to get to them, and since your kitchen wasn’t the most spacious one, he guessed he could gently place his hand on your waist to make his way over there without it being suspicious.
It would seem natural. You probably wouldn’t even notice.
It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway, right? He had touched you before. Like at new year’s eve when he placed his hands on your shoulders to guide you through the crowd, or when you fell asleep together on your couch and ended up cuddling. You didn’t protest when it came to the first —had you even noticed he was touching you back then?—, and with the latter you had explicitly told him it didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.
No, of course touching you wasn’t a big deal. But then why the hell couldn’t he bring himself to move?
It had been like this ever since he stepped a foot inside your place earlier that evening. It was his first time seeing you in person since Han planted the idea in his head, and he couldn’t help but take too long overthinking every single chance he’d get to have some physical contact with you, to the point of self-sabotage.
Just like it happened now, because before he could even get away from the counter, you were done washing the dishes and guiding him towards the entrance to your place, so you could put your shoes on and get ready to head out.
When Han brought the idea of having some physical contact with you, Hyunjin didn’t think it would be this hard, not when he had touched you a few times before. But there was a difference between all those previous times and now: the purpose of his touch.
Before, he’d seldom touch you just to feel you close, because he felt the need to and it just felt right, natural. They were all very casual little touches that anyone else could try without it meaning anything. Unlike now, that he needed them to be more frequent, and for you to be able to tell them apart from just a friendly touch.
Now, it was to send a message — the one of him being into you.
Now, he wanted you to question his touch, and although it was a very fine line when it came to both purposes, what was at stake for the second one was so much more. Because what he wanted was for you to take a hint at his feelings for you, and, even though there was a chance for you to accept them and allow yourself to try and fall for him as well, there was also a chance for you to turn him down without a second thought. And it was your rejection what terrified him the most.
By the time you made it out of your building, he was already growing frustrated, not to say hopeless.
Not even the snowdrops that started to fall the next minute could cheer him up, for the moment his eyes travelled down to your hands and then to the slippery floor, making a lightbulb light up in his head to reach for your hand and pull you closer, with the excuse of preventing you from slipping over on the icy sidewalk, you were already shoving your hands inside your pockets to keep them warm.
Still, he did the next best thing he could think of: walk closer to you, causing the fabric covering your arms to rub against each other with every step you took. Just in order to get some body warmth, and to stay close enough to you in case the sidewalk did become too slippery at some point. You didn’t seem to mind, after all.
Truth was, flirting with you was so much easier through texts, for he didn’t have those pretty eyes of yours staring into his soul and making his knees go weak before he could utter a single word out. And touching you was so much easier when he didn’t think of the romantic implications that came with it; not because he didn’t want there to be any romantic implications —fuck, he wanted nothing but for it to be romantic—, but because he could only then make it seem natural and not overthink the possibility of you turning him down.
One touch was all he needed. One simple first touch, to test the waters and figure out whether he could do it again without feeling like his heart would rip out of his chest any minute at the thought of you pulling away.
“I think I’m just going for the OG this time,” your voice brought him back to reality. “But they also have red beans and cheese, I think”.
“Huh?”
“Hotteok? The filling?” You clarified with a teasing smile, motioning with your head towards the stall that was now only a couple of meters away on the street. “Earth to Hyunjin?”
“Ah, yes… sorry” he apologized, feeling his cheeks begin to heat up — and then straight up burn when you looped your arm through his to pull him towards the hotteok stall.
You made it seem so easy. Was it really that easy? Just grab his arm in yours and go? Like his heart wasn’t going wild over that simple little contact you initiated?
“Hello~” you sweetly greeted the old woman once you reached the stall, earning a gentle smile from her and a very loving one from Hyunjin. “We’ll be having an original one and…” your eyes travelled up to Hyunjin, realising he hadn’t told you what he was having before. “Hyunie?”
“A traditional one and a red bean one, please” he completed your previous sentence.
With a nod of her head, the lady in front grabbed two cups to place your orders in.
“Red bean?” You scrunched up your nose.
He scoffed. “Am I really being judged by the carrot cake girl right now?”
“Not judging” you denied; much to his disappointment, removing your arm from around his so you could hold both your hands up in surrender. “Just saying… choosing red beans when the original one exists is just…”
“Here you go~” the lady announced, handing you both your orders.
“Oh, thank you” you received Hyunjin’s first, handing it to him before you turned back to her to grab yours and hand her the money. “Be careful, they’re hot”.
He smiled at your warning, watching you blow on the hot pastry for a few seconds before you took a bite and he did the same.
“What?” You asked when you could no longer ignore the smile he was staring at you with.
“Nothing,” he shook his head, still with a smile adorning his lips. “You’re cute”.
“Must be the snow giving me some kind of angelic look” you playfully batted your eyelashes for him.
“No,” he denied once again. “If anything it makes you look cuter, but you already look cute all the time”.
The sudden shy look in your eyes with a mixture of adoration in them as you silently stared at him, reminded him why it was easier to flirt through texts. Still, he loved getting to see your reaction after he did. He wanted to believe you were flustered enough to realise he wasn’t saying it as a friend.
“Your cuteness won’t save you from trying the red bean hotteok, though” he added when you wouldn’t reply anymore.
Your protesting whine sounded like music to his ears. “I’ve tried it before though?”
“When?” He pushed it.
“Like… I don’t know, two years ago?”
“If you made me try carrot cake years after my first impression of it, then so are you trying this one again”.
“Ugh, do I have to?”
“I’m afraid you have to” he taunted with a pout, bringing his hotteok up to your mouth. “Now open up”.
Glaring at him, yet knowing well enough there was no escaping from it, you opened your mouth as told and took a bite of it.
“You call that a bite?” He called you out, this time earning a small laugh from you as you chewed the small piece you took. “You didn’t even get any of the filling!”
“Yes, I did?!”
“No, you didn’t, Pinocchio”.
“Hyunie…” you pouted.
“Nope, being cute won’t help you out of it”.
Letting out a heavy sigh, you grabbed the cup of the pastry he was still holding up for you and brought it once again up to your mouth, this time taking what he considered to be a decent bite of it.
Looking down to it and seeing that you had gotten some of the filling this time, he smiled. “So?”
You rolled your eyes at the teasing look in his face, rushing to swallow it down so you could give him your final verdict. “Okay, maybe it is better than I remembered…”
“See?!”
“Still wouldn’t choose it over the traditional one, though”.
“It’s a nice change from time to time” he nodded to himself, taking another bite.
“You wanna try this one, though?” You offered, bringing yours up to his mouth just as he swallowed.
Hyunjin nodded effusively, opening his mouth for you to feed him. Laughing at his cute antics, you brought your hotteok even higher up, for it to go inside his mouth.
“Aigoo, what an adorable couple you two are”.
Only then, right as he bit into your pastry, you were both reminded of the fact that you were still standing in front of the hotteok stall, acting like that in front of a very oblivious woman who mistook the whole scene going on before her for a romantic one.
Thank God it was snowing and there was no one else in line appreciating the whole thing.
Your cheeks burned in an instant, looking at Hyunjin next to you rushing to swallow before you focused back on her. “Oh, we—”
“Thank you, ma’am” Hyunjin interrupted you before you could finish your rather panicked sentence, making your head snap in his direction in surprise, right as he gently leaned towards you. “Isn’t she the prettiest?”
When the woman agreed with him and commented on how good-looking the two of you were, he saw his hundredth chance that night and finally took it before it was too late, reaching for your hand and intertwining your fingers, just like he had wanted to minutes ago.
He almost laughed at himself right then. All night he had spent figuring out how to touch you in the subtlest of ways, looking for the spots of your body that would raise little to no suspicions in your head, and then inevitably chickening out before he could even reach for his goal. Yet here he was now, holding your hand on a whim.
In his defense, a chance as good as this one wouldn’t show up a second time, and he’d be an idiot not to take it — regardless of the possible consequences.
Maybe he should act without thinking more often. Then he’d be able to hold your hand and feel the softness of it as many times as he wanted.
With you being still too stunned to speak, he lifted your interlocked hands up to thank the old lady once more and wave goodbye to her, before he pulled you to him as the two of you began to walk away.
“Thank you, ma’am?” You mocked him when you were far enough for her not to hear.
“She would’ve been embarrassed otherwise,” he explained, fighting against his wishes to rub soft circles on your hand with his thumb. “There’s no need for her to know we aren’t a couple. We know we aren’t, after all”.
Unfortunately.
“You calling me the prettiest surely did the trick” you laughed under your breath.
“Well, you are”.
You lowered your head, with a shy smile curving up your lips. And, for a moment there, he swore he made you blush.
“And holding hands was absolutely necessary?” You questioned, holding your still interlocked hands up for him to see.
“Oh, absolutely” he smiled, trying his best not to show just how terrified he was now that you pointed it out. “Gotta make it look believable”.
The next second felt like an eternity. With your hands still intertwined, he could feel you ponder whether it was okay or not.
Whether he had crossed a line or not.
Most importantly, whether you would pull away —and with that set a clear boundary for him to stick to from now on— or not.
“Okay, I’ll allow it”.
His heart jumped. “You will?”
“Mhm…” you nodded, completely unaware of the way his heartbeat skyrocketed when your hold tightened around his fingers. “We’re not far enough from her yet, can’t have her think it was all an act”.
God, he loved it when you played along with his nonsense.
“Besides,” you added. “It’s cold, I didn’t bring gloves, and your hand is warm”.
“Oh, so you’re just using me”.
You chose silence, taking a bite of your hotteok instead.
“Wow, so this is how I find out?” He squinted his eyes at you in feigned offense.
When the corners of your mouth curved up in a smirk, he dramatically let go of your hand, speeding up his pace in order to make it known he was not having it.
And maybe for a second there he regretted letting go of the opportunity to hold your hand for a little bit longer, but the sound of your laugh as you begged him to come back and rushed to catch up with him, was enough for him to enjoy this moment altogether.
“Yah, Hwang Hyunjin” you followed hot on his heels, ignoring just how slippery the floor was as you tried to keep up with him. “Wait for me, your legs are too long”.
“Great, so now you insult my legs as well”.
You giggled behind him, making him laugh under his breath as well. “It’s not like t—holy fuck!”
As expected, it was only a matter of time before you slipped.
Thankfully for you, you had just caught up with his pace and Hyunjin’s reflexes were no joke, managing to catch you just as your body leaned back.
“Are you alright?” He asked, unable to hide his concern.
You nodded rather effusively, feeling his arm on your back keeping you from falling down, and having your eyes travel down for a second to the firm hand of his holding your waist.
One look into his relieved yet still worried eyes, and the realisation of you being safe and in his arms, was all it took for you to hide your face in his chest as a laughing fit took over.
“Oh, God, I’m so embarrassed” you somehow managed to say in between laughs, refusing to look up. “I’m sorry”.
With your laugh being so contagious, Hyunjin couldn’t help but laugh as well, pulling you closer to him and helping you to stand up straight, as your face remained hidden in his chest.
“It’s okay” he reassured you with a laugh, gently running his fingers through your hair.
You shook your head no, taking a deep breath in order to stop your laughter before you finally pulled away from him. “I almost dropped my hotteok” you half laughed, half pouted, making Hyunjin throw his head back as a throaty laugh escaped his mouth.
“I almost dropped mine trying to catch you” he admitted.
“Please no, I would’ve felt so bad” you lamented, wiping a couple of tears from the corners of your eyes.
“Don’t, we could’ve just gone back to get some more,” he reasoned, gently removing a few loose strands of hair from off your face and then using his thumb to wipe a single tear you had missed rolling down your cheek. “Wouldn’t mind hearing what a good-looking couple we are once again anyway”.
“I doubt she’d point it out again…” you mumbled timidly.
“Wanna go check?” He smirked.
You chuckled, shoving him off before you shook your head in both amusement and disbelief. Had he always been this bold?
“Let’s go back to my place already,” you suggested. “This night has been way too k-drama coded and I’m scared a tragedy might happen now”.
He laughed incredulously. “What kind of k-dramas have you been watching for you to be this traumatized?”
“Just the normal kind” you shrugged nonchalantly. “You’d be surprised over how many tragedies there are”.
“Well then, I’m still offended but I guess I’ll let you use me and hold my arm on our way back” he offered with a dramatic sigh, holding his arm out for you to wrap your own around it.
“Why thank you, that is so chivalrous of you” you playfully cooed, wasting no time in doing as told.
Feeling you hold on tight to his bicep, he smiled, shoving his hand into the pocket of his jacket as the two of you resumed on your walk for once and for all.
“Just to avoid the tragedy of you might slipping again” he made it clear, trying to cover the smirk curving up his mouth by taking a bite of his pastry.
“Oh, totally” you agreed, unlike him, not even trying to hide the big smirk taking over your face. “Wouldn’t want to make you catch me again when you’re oh-so-mad at me”.
Funnily enough, whether mad or not, he would always run to catch you anyway. And now that he discovered how nice it was to hold you close to him, and just how perfectly your hand fit in his, he was afraid he’d have to stop looking for a reason to touch you every time he wanted to and just do it instead, because he couldn’t keep waiting around for someone to point out how cute the two of you looked in order to hold your hand again, or for you to —God forbid— almost fall down for him to hold your waist once more.
The one touch he needed to test the waters had already happened, after all. More than one touch had happened that night, actually, and you didn’t seem to hate it in the slightest. If anything, the way you leaned closer against his body as you held on tight to his arm, told him just how comfortable you felt being so close to him.
And he’d be damned not to let loose from now on and get as physically close to you as you’d let him — as many times as it’d take for you to figure out his feelings for you, and as many more as you’d allow him to.
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