#i am in agony once again

[aluvian]

Me every single time when I come to the part in the Berserk manga where Casca's mind gets restored, but she's still terrified of Guts.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[forzathunder]

"I have many fears, most of them about Lucrezia." — Cesare Borgia (The Borgias, 2011-2013) + hints of insecurity

that she adores someone that much / if she will reject his dark nature and act of love and violence as Ursula did / if he truly is not part of her desires / that she easily forgets him

[skrunksthatwunk]

kuwabara suffering during ep 89 for 10 minutes gay thumbnail + alt that was too complicated for the youtube

[grumpytrans]

[the-acid-pear]

Y'know I really feel like Harry and Dave's relationship goes highly unexplored which is a shame because there IS quite a bit to explore, ESPECIALLY if you care about shipping. But as the game stands I mean, they must be aware of each other. Harry in fact definitely knows about Dave. I don't think he'd tell the fucking weird rotten bunny his terrible boss brought in IS the number one threat against Freddy's since day 1 but even so. Dave I don't think would see Harry as much more than A Phoney™ though, which is always more of an obstacle and way less of a person. Which is usually opposite of how Jack sees his often sole employee. Like, you get what I mean? It's almost similar to 2 with the main opposing routes being Peter and Dave except the stakes are arguably way lower now.

[dreamieparadise]

Guess who's super sick and skipping class again...this guy!

Laying in the darkness with coffee on my nightstand while chatting with Jojo. Gonna rest some more soon. Last night was awful fjdkd I had a migraine sooo bad, medication did nothing and I had to sleep with my migraine hat on. It was uncomfy! [It has gel pieces in it to make my head cool.] I also had a dream that was all over the place and didn't make any sense but there was a tiny apartment covered in red tulips that I'm stealing for Momina. Tulips are up there as a favourite flower for her!

[montypng]

every once in a while i remember that one xmen fic i read ages ago that put pietro maximoff through the most gruesome, agonizing, and soul-crushing time loop experience i have ever seen before or since and well. i am not even into xmen that much . i will never forget it.

[suffercerebral]

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

[dent-de-leon]

Still having so many thoughts about all the parallels between Molly/Lucien's souls and Opal/Ted's--

The way Opal and Ted were split apart and then became one again as a natural part of growing up; raised with this other half of their soul always by their side, learning from each other and through each other. It's a family tradition, their way of life. Worshippers of the Luxon willingly letting their souls drift apart and reform, an inherited legacy that has shaped their whole understanding of the world and themselves.

The way Lucien and Molly never had a choice; the violent violation of autonomy as their soul was torn apart and shredded to pieces, the agony of feeling so alone in the world, your very heart hallowed out and Empty. It's not a gradual, gentle transition of the spirit--it's losing your very sense of self, all these pieces of you burned away.

And it hurts them, both of them. The shard of a soul that would be Molly--young and foolish, so new to the world and yet already so scarred by it. A spirit that hasn't broken yet, in spite of how harsh and cruel the world is--in spite of all the pain he's inherited. Lucien as the ghastly specter haunting Molly's worst nightmares, the shadow always hanging over him.

Lucien's disdain for this "forgotten fragment"--how bitterly he resents Mollymauk for not having to bear the weight of all their most painful memories, his hands not yet stained with blood--the part of him that got to be free. Lucien refusing to call Molly by his name, to admit this other part of himself is real--that maybe Lucien's always known he hasn't felt whole, that someone carved out this piece of his heart long ago.

When the two meet, Molly can't help reaching out to Lucien. Can't help but try and save him. Molly growing to care for this other half of his soul, this other broken, shattered shard of a bleeding heart. Molly refusing to abandon him, staying by his side until Lucien is finally ready to reach back. Both of them learning to accept each other, understand each other. A kind of self love. A soul that mirrors your very own, makes you feel grounded and whole.

Thinking of Ted fighting so fiercely for Opal. Giving everything to defend her, even as Opal tries so desperately to keep her grounded and tethered. Thinking of Molly pleading for Lucien to stop, just walk away--save their friends and save himself. It's not too late, he doesn't have to do this. He doesn't have to be this.

Thinking of the Luxon and shattered souls that aren't bound by life or death, time or space. A part of yourself you never really lose, no matter who tries to tear them away--

[arsenic-katnep]

i apologize to anyone who knew me during 2021

[threnodians]

it is occurring to me that it is going to take weeks if not months for my body to get used to be so active and doing so much physical labor again regarding this new job 🥲

[aftermathing]

.

[circussoup]

Bluh

[loumauve]

the thing (well, one thing anyway) about chronic pain is how you'll have a day or half a day or even just a few hours that'll get you so close to just fucking wanting to end it all right then and there because you're just so tired of being in pain and it feeling like it'll never end and never get better, and your brain feels like it's on fire and you can't remember the last time you felt even just okay, much less fine or good.

and logically you know it'll probably be alright again in time, but the effort it takes to just make it through that moment is so exhausting that it just leaves you drained.

and it's not like you want to die, you just want the pain and misery to stop, and sometimes it feels like it never will. like you're just stuck on that endlessly-looping train track through hell with no stops to get off, and nothing will help you feel even minutely better at all.

[many-gay-magpies]