#i am going to be a grown up now
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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bro we live in the worst possible timeline what the shit!!!!!!!!!!
#guess who might be packing her things and deadass moving#meeee#this gal#because i am a grown up i can do What i want and i lowkey wanna get married one day#since he’s president now im going to be very careful with my words#but if a tragedy befell him#my feelings about ssid tragedy#would not be patriotic!
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So I just had to turn off the reblogs of the Gai art, it seems like some popular blog reblogged the post with the ridiculous reblog of the baseless accusations that has absolutely no evidence or proof whatsoever and ppl have been reblogging it from them to point me out as the new villain on Tumblr, just because someone think they are too smart for this world and has a built-in AI detection sensors in their brain that they can throw serious accusations like that with literally nothing to back it up except that their Spidey senses are tingling!
I just can't believe how easy it is to destroy someone's reputation and years of hard work in seconds just because someone wanted to, you have no idea how discouraging this whole thing is, to work your butt off to create something just to be met with this at the end, am I supposed to record the process of every artwork I create and post it with my artworks from now on? How am I supposed to keep working on myself and challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone and improve my skills if the second I post something a little different from the usual I get attached like this? You have no idea how hard it is to have to work with such a crappy tablet, how time and effort consuming it is to keep trying to create something pretty on a lagging screen and no pen pressure sensitivity, but I have no choice but to be stubborn and determined enough to just keep trying anyway and spend 10x more time and effort than anyone else because that's what I love to do and it's limiting my creativity so much but I just have to make it work with what I can afford... and then the one time I had enough motivation coming from wanting to create something that will put a smile on my friend's @depressedhatakekakashi face just like they continue to put a smile on my face so I chose to do something different this time for them, something that I don't usually go for because of how extremely hard it will be on a stupid tablet like mine but my appreciation and gratitude for them gave me the push I needed to do it and challenge those limitations even further, not knowing that there's someone lurking in the shadows waiting for a moment like that to destroy all of my hard work.
First, they said "oh, I think it's AI because some parts look pixilated" so I recorded a video showing how things get pixilated when I move them between Adobe Illustrator and Clip Studio Paint and why I'm forced to use both software together for a piece like this so they then say "I don't understand how what you said is relevant" then changed their reason to "because the art style in this piece looks different from your usual art style" and um, my usual art style is meant to look like cartoon and this one is meant to look realistic HOW COULD IT NOT LOOK DIFFERENT?!!!, like I don't understand, am I stuck with only one type of artwork now because that's what I usually do? Am I not allowed to try something new for a change or try to challenge myself or develop my skills? Can someone tell me where I can get a permit to have freedom with my creations? Or am I supposed to just stop trying all together?!!!
#rant post#I have spent years getting bullied in school when I was a kid#and honestly thought that I would never have to go though that again now that I am a grown up#never thought that I will be bullied on the internet too#didn't know I will have to relive this feeling again in my 30's#naruto
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Love watching my colonists all pitch in to teach Andy fun stuff. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and my colony is doing great at that so far.
I like to imagine that it's pretty easy to take advantage of Zonovo's Entomophobia trait if you ever need him to leave you alone for a minute. He seems particularly prone to being bullied, and I'm sure Andy would pick up on that quickly- he's a very clever cookie, after all.
Update on the illicit romance between the leaders of two rival ideologies: They are sitting next to each other outside in the rain to drink tea and coffee. I bet they're holding hands under the table so their followers don't suspect anything... Very sneaky.
The only colonist who doesn't seem to like helping Andy is Connie, even though Andy is, in fact, wearing a hat. She should like him more than Irwin for that fact alone based on how much she wants Irwin to cover up his hair.
But alas, her ideology says kids should do hard labour (thinking about it, she probably loves listening to Irwin reminisce about his days as a labour camp orphan), and she is upset that Andy is allowed to enjoy himself now and then.
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#rimworld#gracie plays#The Animist Alliance#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#I wonder if Andy will ever get any friends his age#He must be lonely with only grown-ups to hang out with#And a whole menagerie of weird and wonderful animals#I'm sure thrumbos are excellent playmates#I don't like Wookshys but I am invested in the romance now#Alas I have to draw him being a dutiful partner#The rainy-day coffee date was kind of cute I admit#I wonder where this romance will go...#Have a beautiful week!!! <3
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Watching the AO3 top ship finals go down (here it is), and the amount of people talking about how the mlm ship (not naming it, in case I get dragged for having an opinion) deserves to win because it’s a part of Tumblr history is just… ridiculous.
Like, that is absolutely correct, but why exactly did it become a part of Tumblr history? Why has Tumblr had an obsession with non-canon (this particular ship is canon, though, but it seemed like a last minute decision from the writers) mlm ships, whilst ignoring any potential wlw ones?
Think just a little, guys. I promise you that you’ll get there.
youtube
(Dropping my favourite video ever because I can)
#i’ve honestly grown so tired of mlm ships#like#i’ve mostly lost all interest in predominantly male stories now#which is why i don’t care much for bsd or vnc or the billions of other excellent anime that feature only a handful of female characters#none of which get to interact with each other#vote for whoever you want#but if you’re going to use history to back up your vote#rethink your choices#also i love sulemio#i didn’t mention that in the post but i am just letting you all know o7#disaster lesbians#sulemio#also i find it very funny how sulemio of all lesbian ships is dragging the mlm one#that’s so funny#i didn’t even think the fan base was huge#i guess i was wrong#or more people are getting tired of mlm dominating queer spaces#cynic.txt
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Hi I'm still surviving yay
#i am going to make it throughthis year if it kills me etc#anyway just went for a walk in the first snow of the year#and texted back all the people who texred me for the first time all month#and know im gonna go home and have hot chocolate and butternut squash soup and crusty bread w goat cheese and balaic vinegar and olives etc#and also danggg its ok that km losing it a bit so far this year i have:#lived overseas for 3 months (culture stress loneliness language learning etc)#dealt w reentry#graduated college#started my first proper grown up job#moved & rented my 1st solo appartment#broke up w my boyfroend#and dealt w my chronic illness flaring pretty bad#oh also visited another like 6 countries in there somewhere?#and enrolled in a 2nd BA degree that im now working on#damn.
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you know the show is going to be good when it starts off with whump… i introduce you to my new blorbo peter, an FBI agent who gets wrapped up in some conspiracy plot and is protecting/rescuing a civilian. he gets injured in an explosion + run over by a car in the first 10mins of ep 1, has physical and emotional-traumatic scars, gets shot at + beaten up + punched MULTIPLE TIMES throughout the series, major delicious whump with aftercare in ep 6. plus a cute slow burn. it’s an old style spy thriller and it’s (whumpy) goooood.
#gifs incoming my friends so prepare to get tired of me lol#finished yesterday in one sitting#i looooove spy thrillers#peter is so wholesome and cute tho#can’t believe the kid from super 8 is all grown up hehe#well he is handsome#both the leads are just good#rose was so feral and protective of peter too… their banter and dynamic was chef’s kiss#the night agent netflix#hope it’s gets renewed#here i am watching another netflix show with just one season#i caaaaant help myself 😭#highly recommend go watch it!#first the recruit and now this… netflix better make more spy thrillers like these lol#my sceeencaps
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got a school shooting warning now my dads picking me up and hes?? mad?? because my little brother thought we were gonna get shot up and was scared?? this is so stupid what the fuck
#take away belles phone .ᐟ ⊹୨୧#tw school shooting#school shootings are so fucking stupid#like oh no!! i got bullied in school!!#welp now i gotta go kill some kids that dont when know who i am and the acc people who bullied me are all grown up and moved on!!#like shut the fuck up
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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i was a fnaf girlie once. not so much anymore, but springtrap still holds a very special place in my heart.
#art#fnaf#fnaf 3#fnaf 3 springtrap#springtrap#my beloved#i am so excited for the fnaf movie#fnaf was my JAM in middle school#i've grown out of it now but it made up a large part of my childhood#hopefully the movie does it justice#i've heard good things#but if its bad i am going to RIOT
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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I think it's time I change my bio to say it's been 11 years since I started to watch Ninjago.....
Gosh. Where's my senior discount on the lego sets, huh?
#I actually don't remember exactly when I picked up ninjago. I just know that it was april or may cause it was nearing the end of-#the school year#anyway this show feels like it's my best friend in all honesty. it's been with me for so long and at my loneliest#and to think that I've grown up alongside it. it's so weird#I have such a clear memory of like when just about anything happened for this show#s3 finale? I was sick but I still tuned into watch and CRIED#s5? I watched nearly every episode when it aired on cartoon network in my parents room cause my dad was using our other tv at that time#s8? watched it weekly in my grandparents basement and It Was A Ride#s11 finale? got to the episode at like. 6 am before I had to go to school and felt utterly disappointed there was no kai and zane fight#seabound? watched it weekly that one spring and IT WAS ALSO A RIDE#and that's not even touching the hours upon hours of fan works I've looked at#just. it's been such a long time. over a decade of my life that I've been attached to this show. and at the same time it feels like no-#time has passed at all#I actually first watched the show cause some classmates were talking about it and I wanted to be friends with someone so bad so I started-#to watch it and I Very Quickly surpassed their love of it#what a ride huh? now we're at a point where I can look this show and say it's genuinely good (THANK YOU DRAGONS RISING!!!!!!!!!!)#ok I'm done reminiscing. time to think about the newest scenarios in which to make kai suffer >:)#ninjago#phoenix prattles
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Who decided the drow should have so much fucking lore anyway.
('I should've been a drow.' You can't fucking stand Cazador or your 'siblings' you would not fucking want to be a drow. Although I guess Astarion would make a fair Vhaeraunite.)
#babbling#I'm still working on it and the many many fucking novels I don't really want to read#but at the same time my dwarves are calling me away from the elfyness#there was a giant red cardinal loose in the mines until it ran into the tavern in a panic and the human merc staying there killed it#I wanted to catch and tame it to make a dwarven aerial cavalry of giant blood-red passerines#now there's dead bird everywhere and nobody actually wanted to do cleaning work and everybody's being sick#possibly because half the work force is severely disabled#because they ran off to beat a giant snapping turtle to death and got limbs torn off#I told them not to fucking go fishing but nnOOooo#that's slowing things down a bit#We spent weeks huddled in a hole in the ground eating raw horseflesh and staring at nothing due to trauma#bleeding through amateurish stiches done by a dying one-handed dwarf with no medical training#while one of the dwarves sat in the other corner carving bone into jewellery while seething with homicidal rage#We have no textiles industry; some of the dwarves are wandering around swathed in bone jewellery and crowns like morbid monarchs#But their clothes are tattered rags clinging to their heavily scarred flesh by threads#the mining team has to double as the militia because they've grown to crave violence for some reason - especially the medical staff#Can't wait for the elven diplomat to turn up and start bitching about the logging industry#Like look you cannibalistic fuck; these dwarves are a hairsbreadth away from descending into berserker-rage and slaughtering us all#I am not making them sleep in the dirt because you oppose me turning the odd tree into a bedframe or a barrel because we are ALWAYS#ALWAYS on the verge of running out of alcohol#...#Either this sounds insane or you know exactly what I'm talking about#I'm going to make a DnD session out of this methinks
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pretty sure i have a kidney infection but i think everything is gonna be okay
#i called the doctors office neither of my beautiful lady doctors who believe me every time i say i have a problem were there and a guy#doctor was the only person to talk to#and he said PUSSY ASS BITCH TAKE AN IBUPROFEN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP#just kidding he gave me some other symptoms to watch out for and said to go to the er if i get those. but that for now i should just keep an#eye on it. anyway i cried a little bit i called my mom and she said that i should be peeing after sex and i said yes mom i'm a grown ass#woman. i called my bf he had a theory that i am making myself anxious about it and making the pain worse. which may have been true but also#i think he's biased bc he gives himself psychosomatic symptoms of everything all the time.#but i'm taking a bath and watching dumb youtube and i actually feel way better so maybe it's true.#anyway i'm already on antibiotics. i'm going to survive the night. if it's not feeling better tomorrow i can call my doctor again!!! bitch!#like calm down jesus....
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fun guessing game you get to have with your family when you're mixed: was the shit they pulled racially motivated or not
#they brought home a job app for me for a hibachi place#i am pretty happy with doing my cleaning + art tho and i don't really want to do anything culinary or food service related#i'd rather just get more hours again cleaning :/ idk i'll think about it but i don't handle time-pressure well#cleaning is good for me because as long as i accomplish the tasks i am okay and i can do them in any order i want#anyway i have to be careful though because if i go too long without 'working enough' for their tastes they start taking furniture out of#my room lol#thankfully i finally was able to buy most of my own furniture though during my job so the only things they could take now are like#the tv bookcase and fan#i guess they could take the computer too but they gave that to me years ago so it would be kinda weird if they did#i am a grown ass man but i'm probably not gonna be free from this shit until i can finally move out#gahhh it is what it is#i'm gonna text my boss on monday and see if there's any open buildings i could take for at least another day of work#if not then i'll pick up something random i guess#but i honestly like having more time/energy to work on my art even though being home more sometimes sucks#i might try to do longer days to make up for it?#idk. lots to think about.
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guys. i just made enough beef stroganoff to last me the rest of the week. feeling kind of like a god rn
#nobody asked but#i feel so. grown up. so accomplished#and now i am going to bed#because it turns out cream based food. makes me tired
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