#because they ran off to beat a giant snapping turtle to death and got limbs torn off
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
y-rhywbeth2 · 5 months ago
Text
Who decided the drow should have so much fucking lore anyway.
('I should've been a drow.' You can't fucking stand Cazador or your 'siblings' you would not fucking want to be a drow. Although I guess Astarion would make a fair Vhaeraunite.)
#babbling#I'm still working on it and the many many fucking novels I don't really want to read#but at the same time my dwarves are calling me away from the elfyness#there was a giant red cardinal loose in the mines until it ran into the tavern in a panic and the human merc staying there killed it#I wanted to catch and tame it to make a dwarven aerial cavalry of giant blood-red passerines#now there's dead bird everywhere and nobody actually wanted to do cleaning work and everybody's being sick#possibly because half the work force is severely disabled#because they ran off to beat a giant snapping turtle to death and got limbs torn off#I told them not to fucking go fishing but nnOOooo#that's slowing things down a bit#We spent weeks huddled in a hole in the ground eating raw horseflesh and staring at nothing due to trauma#bleeding through amateurish stiches done by a dying one-handed dwarf with no medical training#while one of the dwarves sat in the other corner carving bone into jewellery while seething with homicidal rage#We have no textiles industry; some of the dwarves are wandering around swathed in bone jewellery and crowns like morbid monarchs#But their clothes are tattered rags clinging to their heavily scarred flesh by threads#the mining team has to double as the militia because they've grown to crave violence for some reason - especially the medical staff#Can't wait for the elven diplomat to turn up and start bitching about the logging industry#Like look you cannibalistic fuck; these dwarves are a hairsbreadth away from descending into berserker-rage and slaughtering us all#I am not making them sleep in the dirt because you oppose me turning the odd tree into a bedframe or a barrel because we are ALWAYS#ALWAYS on the verge of running out of alcohol#...#Either this sounds insane or you know exactly what I'm talking about#I'm going to make a DnD session out of this methinks
15 notes · View notes