#i am full of despair

[dreadfutures]

the next president:

chooses our supreme court nominees

chooses many other federal court judges with lifetime appointments whose judgements shape healthcare, corporate regulation, and

makes executive orders that can effectively immediately upend nationwide laws and take a long time to get halted or overturned, while setting standards for states to make laws

appoints attorney general

appoints the heads of agencies such as the Department of Energy, the Environmental Protection Agency, the National Institute of Health, the National Science Foundation, who decide what integral scientific research should be prioritized for funding; who have the power to enforce or not-enforce or repeal regulations that protect our health and environment

appoints the heads of agencies such as the HHS that have more immediate beneficial or neglectful impacts on local communities nationwide, in times of disaster or otherwise

through them distributes funding to integral state functions that provide environmental, health, and community resources that enable states to assess and fix things like lead in water, etc.

appoints the head of the CDC who decides how to mobilize resources and direct public action in response to epidemics

every person who runs for president of the united states and becomes president is, or will become, a mass murderer and war criminal.

and some of them will dismantle the social safety nets and infrastructure of our country in ways that set us back very very far and take a very long time to fix, if you will ever find someone who you're willing to put back into power to fix it.

[wearenotjustnumbers2]

Journalists in gaza are posting their last message.

What are we waiting for, what have we allowed to happen?

Ismail and motaz are the same journalists in this video by the way. They're people who always find light in the dark. Praying for them and all Palestinians.

[kuzuhina1brainrot]

OKAY FINE I’m tired of not serving y’all any food

have kuzuhina sneak peeks

[sunlit-haruka]

Something about Whit’s character that I don’t see a lot of people talking about is how often he is willing to hide things or even just straight up lie in order to protect people. In the CH1-9, he lies about being friends with Charles in order to prove his innocence, and mind you not only has Whit not known Charles for more then about three or four days with the only interactions between them being Whit teasing him, but Whit outright admits in CH2-2 that he used to be the most judgemental of him

Now obviously Whit and Charles became friends after the trial, but the point here is that in Chapter 1, Charles is not someone that Whit particularly knew, and yet Whit still chose to lie despite the small chance that Charles was actually the culprit. But the instance I really want to talk about is in CH2-11 when Whit hides David’s secret from the rest of the cast. This isn’t an Eden situation where she was threatened into keeping quiet, Whit chose to keep quiet about David’s secret despite it being a massive piece of evidence and potentially risking everyone’s lives in the process. David was also someone that Whit lacked any real relationship with, I think the only time the two interacted was in the kitchen in CH2-7 and that was very brief

Whit mentions after David goes into his emo phase that the reason he hid the secret was to protect David’s career, but honestly it feels strange that that would even be a concern in his mind in a situation like this, especially when like I said he barely knew or had any interactions with David. There is another reason for this behavior. Now, in CH2-3, Charles does say something that could give a lead

Whit is a very empathetic person, and probably puts himself in other people’s shoes when it comes to situations like this. As such, he is not the kind of person to sacrifice someone else’s privacy willy-nilly as he can imagine how that would affect someone. This also lines up quite well with his talent, I must add. As the Ultimate Matchmaker, part of his talent probably has to do with keeping people’s secrets, and this lines up with how DRDTDev describes his talent too

However, I do think there is another reason for this I feel like Whit and Hu share a similar mindset of wanting to assume the best in others. Hu is obviously more direct with it, but I think Whit also has this mindset to a smaller degree. You could argue that this is also due to his intuition, and I’d say it is partially that, but with the whole David situation I don’t think that’s all there is to it as every other example of his intuition has turned out to be right. Whit hiding things and lying for others probably comes from a place of wanting to believe the best in them. I don’t think Whit would really care about protecting David’s career if he thought he was a scumbaggy manipulator, nor would he lie about being Charles’ friend to cover for him if he thought he was the culprit. He chose to do those things in an attempt to see the best in them.

[ear-motif]

how does one cope with knowing that every moment of their happiness can only exist with the continued exploitation of colonized nations. like even if i kill myself it wont be enough and even if i devote my life to change it wont be enough because all forms of my happiness are predicated on theft and destruction.

[sparrowposting]

Crafting to stave off The Despair

[goldkirk]

I’ve been mentally lying on the ground in a forest glade being SO fucking Normal about Gandalf calling Frodo Bronwe athan harthad, Endurance Beyond Hope

[prussianmemes]

you should kill yourself if you spend 12 minutes sorting around your notes on your desk, making sure they look messy but also the prettiest ones are on top, posing your textbook open and having the most "academia" looking web page or lecture slides on your laptop screen before taking a picture and posting it on your social media story while quietly scrolling through songs to put with it.

[mrmcflowers]

Literally losing my fucking mind rn

BOTH OF MY MIDDLE-AGED WHITE MAN CRUSHES THAT I HAD WHEN I WAS A FUCKING 14-YEARS-OLD ARE BACK AND HAUNTING ME. HELP IIM DYING IN PAIN. THIS IS KILLING ME. I have a crush on two different middle aged white men at the same time and it's so cringe I am in fact dying. I GOT INTO SECURITYWAITER BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY AND SILLY BUT NOW IM BEING HAUNTED BY CRUSHES PAST, CRUSHES PRESENT, AAAAAAAND CRUSHES FUTURE.

[kanene-yaaay-o-retorno]

Random au because I can't stop thinking about this:

On the doc Mike and Pac found in the prison said that if Walter Bob completed that specific task he would be free from the jail/no longer a prisoner, right? (MY memory isn't the best so maybe this is a bit wrong but that is what we have for today folks augstwfwywfrqcw)

So

What if one day he finishes the task and Cucorucho with a smile brings him to another federation building and asks him to get into a room

So

Days later Fit is asked to clean a room, no big deal, another day of honest work where he starts lurking around looking for anything that could be useful for him and his mission

And then, in another place that he isn't suppose to be, but that he got into anyway is a... something. In the corner. It's small, it's scared, maybe even trembling a little bit and tired, very tired.

It's an egg.

When he enters, it turns around to face him and Fit freezes for a second because now he can clearly read the name on top of the kid.

"Walter Bob"

Well, he isn't coming out of that building alone.

Also! For fluff purposes! Imagine he bringing him to show Pac and Mike, like, Walter Bob doesn't have the memories of Before but he can't help but feel at ease around those "strangers" and their vibrant, lively energy, especially because they seem to like be around him as well, always full of hugs and itens and new places to show around.

Ramon being a good older brother! Showing him how to explode things and being perfect to bring his more quiet and chaotic side.

The fact that before he couldn’t remember ever having a bed just the cold metal of the cell and the guards shouting and pain and experiments and cold cold cold

But now it's different! Now he has a family, people from everywhere smiling and talking to him and helping and saying strange, kind things like that their house is his as well and that if he ever ever need he could call

And then Forever reforms the NINHO to have another room and Bad calls him to chat while making his buildings and Baghera gives him a bunch of invisible potions so they can hang around listening to gossips and Philza is always chill in letting him visit and Foolish laugh and goof around like nothing could ever go wrong everytime he gets too anxious and Mike and Pac are there and...

And Richas gives him beautiful paintings to put in his room and Dapper show him all his cool animal collection and Leo take him to a train ride and Tallulah helps him to decorate his room and...

And and and

(And the hope is there, it hurts too much to bare sometimes, like it's a knife that already cut him before.

But little by little, with time, the wounds begins to heal)

[astralpenguin]

i cannot fucking believe that my enjoyment of death note is seriously turning out to be actually useful in my real life

[transphilza]

we can only wait and see. i am smoothing my brain into a blank slate once more i am reminding myself i have no specific expectations whatsoever. i am completely zen and completely fine and normal about c!wilbur’s next stream being the last. i am emotionally stable and normal and i will be happy to have been here to see it no matter what happens. he is my blorbo forever and always.

[trashlie]

[‼️FP 237 spoilers] with nol's walls all the way up shin's "if you won't let me have you" is our only hope now <///3 tbh i had a strong feeling that nol would be extremely stubborn (after all, it's not just dieter and alyssa/"being like his father" that are preventing him from letting her in; the biggest reason remains yui) so i was actually hoping that shinae would be the initiator, that she'd back him into a corner and really push for it. but i swear to GOD if she shows up with a confession and he hits her with the "your feelings are your responsibility not mine" I WILL FIND A WAY TO TELEPORT INTO THE COMIC AND KILL HIM. LIL BUDDY JOIN ME. NOLAN PREPARE FOR DEATH 😾💥😾💥😾💥 i'm just HOPING that he's all talk and once shin shows up all his resolve crumbles ;; but it's starting to look like he's gonna need the time in jail to clear his head, sit with his feelings, read nessa's letters, and then yujing's article will probably make him see that there is hope, that things can be turned around, and maybe then he'll be willing to make alliances. but god i would HATE for them to part on bad terms i would HATE to see shin getting hurt again <///3 this girl has put up with SO MUCH she has given SO MUCH of herself to him and nothing is coming back she has been going through all stages of heartbreak how much more is she gonna have to endure i just UARGGHHHGHHHH.

-frustrated lil anon 😾

the thing is there is a big flaw in nol's thinking that someone needs to point out to him please. it's understandable that the stronger his feelings are, the closer they get, the more scared he is of what could happen - what yui could do -, and that he wants to prevent a tragedy at all cost. but boyo. guess what. YUI HAS ALREADY TAKEN INTEREST IN SHINAE REGARDLESS SO IT'S TOO LATE. whether you cut shin off or not, she is still in yui's trap!! she's actually *worse* off without you, so might as well join forces!!! GRRRRRR i'm seriously so frustrated. -lil anon 😾

GOD!!!!!!! /GOD/ Listen Lil Anon I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU. All the way with the frustration, too, and it's so difficult because YES. I get him. I UNDERSTAND!!!! But HE DOESN'T HAVE THE WHOLE STORY.

I firmly feel like, yes, it is up to Shinae and her pure determination to tackle this, and I'm hoping he is all talk, or rather, I'm banking on the way he crumbles in her presence and how he can't stick to his guns because of her. I need them to sit and have a GOOD, HONEST conversation and I'm really afraid of how possible that is with the pace we're going at ;A; Like afkjalfkjaklfjkaf lemme lmao try to organize my thoughts.

Basically Nol lives with this fear that HE is a terrible mistake, a terrible monster, that he caused his mom's death and is responsible for all the bad things that exist as a result of his existence and caring for anything. Like, I am 300% sure that this mindset was drilled into him when he was institutionalized, that they basically took this child and brainwashed him into believing that his entire existence is a mistake because things would be so much better if he didn't exist.

He lost his mom. His father doesn't seem to love him. He's all alone. He probably said some awful things to his mom, before losing her, so it was easy to convince him that she died because of him, that he's like this poisonous gas that destroys everything it touches. But here's the thing. This is all he knows! He knows Yui is terrible - to him! He knows Rand is cruel - to him! He feels like he's a burden, a mistake. When Nana tells him how worried Rand was, Nol can't believe it, figures it must be because it's yet another mess for him to clean up, or because of his precious heir.

Nol may know that Yui played Alyssa like a puppet, but he very much thinks Alyssa's current situation is the course of her own choices, that she must've wanted to be famous, to impress Yui so much. He doesn't realize that she very much is trapped in this career.

He doesn't know that Yui has manipulated Kousuke for the entirety of his life, that she's drugged even her own son! He thinks everything she does is for his benefit, because she loves him, because she hates Nol the terrible bastard child born to her husband's mistress.

When he sees Shinae at the formal, clearly against her will, Nol believes it's because of him. I think that was the moment he remembered what happens when he cares about people, why his relationships were supposed to be fake, why it was supposed to be about him helping others and not himself. The moment he started to care about people and seek relationships for himself, he put them in danger.

Compare this to how he talks about Alyssa, how he never mentions her as one of the people he cares about, how he even brushes off the idea of her visiting him in prison. He doesn't feel responsible for her in the same way he does for Shinae being there.

It's not even that it's about Yui, exactly, but that it's about HIM, and that he cared about her, that because that friendship meant something, because she means something, he put her in danger.

Except, we know better. We've seen this story from an objective standpoint that Nol doesn't possess. Consider this: Nol only knows that Shinae was at the formal against her will, that Yui gave her a job at the company behind Kousuke's back. He doesn't know about Kousuke's birthday.

I need Shinae and Nol to talk because Nol's fears are VALID and I think we can see that Dieter can tell Nol's fears are not unfounded, even though he doesn't know what it is he fears. He just knows that he must, that bad things happen. But, right! Bad things have already happened! And they're going to keep happening! Nol is terrified because he only knows this small part of everything, and that this small point indicates it's because of him. But what happened at Kousuke's apartment wasn't about Nol. Even if Nol feigned losing interest in Shinae it wouldn't matter, because Yui is already invested. At this point it is no longer about Kousuke OR Nol. It's her OWN interest.

Shinae needs to be up front with him - tell him that first off, it's her decision to make, not his, he can't keep choosing to push people away without including them. But more importantly, she needs to tell him about the birthday incident. Tell him what Rand told her, that she'll never be able to escape from Yui's clutches, that she's already invested. Tell him about the offer, that Rand is urging her take it and use it for her benefit.

Nol cannot see beyond his fear because it's all he knows, he has nothing to contradict it or prove otherwise. But I need him to listen to Shinae, because while she probably can't fully change his mind - it's so deeply ingrained in him at this point - I think she can at least show him that her danger doesn't change regardless of whether she's near him or not. That even if he left her now and never looked back, it wouldn't change the hold Yui has on her. The problem is, can logic even combat his inherent believe, this psychologically deep fear he has?

But still, I want her to. I want him to read those letters in the Bible before he goes to jail because frankly I CANNOT TAKE the idea of them parting without resolution, parting with her still feeling like she's being thrown away, him needing to sit in prison pathetically yearning for her to realize how badly he cannot fight this. I need him to crumble in front of her, to realize that he cannot actually deny himself, that he cannot turn away from her ;A; I need him to be HONEST with her! She's already heard him in the alley talking to Lil Buddy, she knows why he pulls away. I want him to straight up tell her how scared he his, so that she can counter him.

Wouldn't it be worse, to leave her in the dark? To leave her behind and pretend that everything will be okay? AUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH

IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND HIM BUT HE'S WRONG AND I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE WILL BE TO LISTEN! I DON'T KNOW HOW WILLING HE'LL BE TO ACCEPT THAT SHE'S BETTER OFF WITH HIM THAN WITHOUT.

Like.... at this point I'm really banking on Shinae's pure determination and maybe like... having to actually convince him because I know if she so much as initiates a kiss, he is going to CRUMBLE his brain is going to shut off he is SO touch starved and full of want and SO in love with her that the moment she initiates anything his resolve will melt away and it's OVER IT'S OVER.

But also I need him to read the letters from Nessa and see how badly Nessa wanted to protect Rand, and how he didn't let her. And how it ended up. Because Rand did what Nol is trying to do and it still didn't protect Nessa. Shinae doesn't deserve any of it - not what Yui would put her through but also not what Nol is putting her through. The Yui aspect can't be stopped, but he CAN stop the other so ALKJFALKFLAJFKAFJK ALKFJKLAFKFAJF FRAFLJ GRRRRRRRRR LAKJFKJFJKRJKRJ LIKE /SCREAMS/

I hope he reads the letters and realizes that it isn't something that will just pass. It wasn't for Rand. Even after he lost her, years later he still carried that Bible filled with her letters with her love with her desire to protect him, with the photo of their son. Rand never moved on. Even though he pushed her away and tried to be the responsible man, he never moved on.

Be for fucking real, Nol. You think you can do that? You know you can't do that. Rand never moved on, Nessa never moved on. Does he think Shinae could?

I want her to go in guns blazing. I want her to go in mad, I want them to argue because at least when they argue they're a little bit more honest, they say the things they might not if they were calmer and thought about their responses. I want her jealousy and insecurity to come out when Nol tries to shield himself with "I have a girlfriend" and I want her to remind him he said it was fake and he resents her. I wan her to look him in the eye and ask if he can really throw it all away, if he wouldn't have any regrets if he gave up and left her. I want him to fail to answer and instead tell her that maybe he can, who knows, maybe none of this is really real. And I want her to kiss him and prove to him how very real it is, how very much they both want it, and how very much they need each other.

They can have a heart to heart afterwards ;A; She can tell him about the Kousuke birthday party nightmare fiasco, remind him how Yui manipulated her and took advantage of her desperation, tell her what Rand said, that Yui will never let her go, tell him about Yui's offer. I want her to hold his stupid face and tell him that the only thing denying his feelings and pushing her away can do is hurt her more because regardless, she's trapped. She can't get out of her contract, she still has to face them! I want him to see that even if he can't get around his own paralyzing fear that that doesn't have to be the only option. He can leave. He can disappear. He can go away - as long as he doesn't sever that tie, as long as she still has contact. ;~;

Cos look.... I don't think we, or Shinae, could handle Nol leaving without resolving things. Even if it was a "he leaves and in prison he realizes he was a fool he can't do this he can't leave her like that", can she really handle him doing this? He had his opportunity to leave - twice. He could have left for jail and never stepped foot in her presence ever again, but he still went to her. And after they talked she told him he could leave, that she wanted closure. But he stayed.

He stayed and they talked and they shared moments and she told him all about her most painful straw, about why being thrown away by him hurts so much. He stayed and he almost died and she almost lost him and while the city was asleep they found comfort in their least favorite place together. While everyone slept they flirted and finger danced and danced and he hurt her again and how can he leave after that how can he push her away. He told her that what they did wasn't "just friends" that it was something more and all but told her to come back when she'd figured it out and she has and if he tries to push her away when she finally comes back I will KICK HIS ASS. Because if he does that how can she ever accept him back after? ;A; How can he shatter her heart over and over again and ever come back into her life? ;_________________;

So PLEASE I hope she can convince him, if only by refusing to let go, by convincing him of why he's making a mistake.

;A;

SCREAMS

[toastybugguy]

dude why did ppl hate The End of Hope’s Peak High School sm

[lovereadandwrite]

finally, some rest💙 the duality of death - an entirely different experience for the living.

Yuji🧍🏼

[synthaphone]

i was so convinced i only had like 180 or so Ancient Sketchbook Images from 2011-2012 left to edit + upload to toyhouse. i was getting so excited. but no. i have over 500 of them

here's a sample