#i am actually really sad right now | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

akorean · 3 months ago

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Has this been done yet?

Pov: the king in act 3

And I said...

#i am actually really sad right now #but whatever #isat #in stars and time #isat the king #isat memes #isat spoilers #isat act 3 spoilers

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thekittyokat · 9 months ago

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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again #the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys #saw #well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand #know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows #your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn #thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down #something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness #the transformation of a man into a monster #and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption #sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this #do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore #it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating #fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn #i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him #until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else #well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God #where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium #anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus #maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man #i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed #if only he hadn't been weaponized first #god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already #but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there #rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts #ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly #cat chat

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infinitelymint · 10 days ago

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another little snippet of what's now 8k of Violet feeling like proper shit and thinking a baby might fix it (spoiler alert, it won't)

He cups her cheek and she hates herself a little bit for turning into the touch, for savouring the warmth and the feel of his hand against her skin. It’s been so long since she was last touched with any kind of affection that wasn’t from her dragons. It’s a testament to just how long that she lets him of all people. She squeezes her eyes closed tightly, willing herself to keep the tears at bay.

She’s missed it so much, the feel of someone else’s hands on her body. The comfort of a simple, platonic touch. She has missed the connection, the intimacy, the knowledge that someone cares. Gods, she thinks again, what she wouldn’t give for a simple hug.

“Vi,” he breathes, and there he goes again with the ‘Vi’, breaking down her walls even further. He sounds heartbroken and she can’t quite grasp why. He doesn’t care about her, so why does he suddenly sound like he does?

“I don’t think I’m okay,” she confesses and there’s no amount of squeezing her eyes closed that will hold the tears back now, not when she's finally uttered the truth that she has known intimately for months and months out loud. She feels the tears fall down her cheeks, leaving wet, hot tracks in their wake, like a map of her sadness. It doesn’t take long for his thumb to come up to wipe them away.

“I know,” he says, and there’s none of that brute efficiency or cold detachment she'd come to know from him during the war. His tone is gentle. It’s nothing like she remembers him, nothing like the picture she has of him in her mind. She doesn't know how to reconcile this version of him with the one who's only ever shown her indifference or frustration before.

She thinks that maybe peace time allows some to break down, and others to take care of the pieces that are left in ways that war time never could.

#I don't know man #this needs heavy editing and I do think Violet is maybe too sad in this #the involuntary depression fic #(now that's a tag)#but I'm trying to just get it onto the page as it wants to go #(I am a theatre major I love me some melodrama)#and then hopefully I can rein it back in afterwards #or maybe she'll just get to be very saddy sad #I'm actually mostly worried about the balance in their relationship and like taking it from this to love #because the way it's structured right now she's been really neglected #maybe I need to work on Xaden's motivations a bit more to figure it out hmm hmmm #anyway that's a problem for tomorrow's me #I would say enjoy but I don't think there's much enjoyment to be had here unfortunately #and I who just wanted to write some fluff haha #am I laughing or crying nobody knows #violet sorrengail #xaden riorson #riorgail #riorgail fic #riorgail snippet #violet and xaden

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hana-bobo-finch · 2 days ago

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spent the evening drawing a little something to commemorate my first time playing hollow knight

just entered greenpath and I LOVE the ambiance of it, i really couldn’t do it justice here

#art #hollow knight #I really can’t draw waterfalls alaaaas oh well #they just look like Big Blobs I’m gonna. explode if I keep thinking about it I’m too tired to fix em #for those absolutely DYING to know my thoughts on it so far—#it is SO fun but in all honesty I do not know what I’m doing at any given time #I think I’m slightly getting the hang of it?? but I definitely did more wandering around than actual plot progression #speaking of which I’m completely lost on the plot and lore. it’ll be explained more later on I’m positive but for now? no idea #don’t know who these people are or why they’re here or what’s going on but #yknow. I like it so far!#I am also very bad at it so far!! I’ve lost an embarrassing amount of times because I got knocked into spike pits #I think that rest areas being benches is so whimsical. nothing special just. a bench. love that #I was gonna draw the bench but then I remembered I can’t draw seats of any kind so. standing up it is #the only thing I can really say as a negative right now is there aren’t many fleshed out characters so far #oh I’m 100% sure that’s going to change so it’s not a complaint #but as someone who mostly gravitates towards the characters in games? right now it feels very lonely. sad #I like the map guy. cornifer I think his name is #I can’t get his name right for the life of me. so far I’ve called him corn cornfield and confield #also his wife. she seems so depressed I think she needs someone to talk to #or a bigger doorframe #and that little miner thing? what’s her name? I want to say it starts with M #she was adorable. the children yearn for the mines #but yeah overall I crave more characters…..I’ll have to actually play through the game more for that won’t I #only other issue is that. fun fact. did you know dyscalculia can affect one’s sense of direction and reading maps #in other words I spent most of my time playing the game being confused and lost because where the hell am I #but that’s a me problem lmao #overall. good game so far mhm 👍 I can’t say I know what any of it is actually about but yeah I like it #goes without saying but. please don’t spoil anything for me!!!auhghhh

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dadvil · 13 days ago

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thank you got7 for coming back to us

#I have finally been in the right headspace to actually start watching all the comeback content #I already listened to the album and I love it #gonna listen to it again later but rn #I AM LIVING FOR GOT7 KILLING VOICE #I love that every comeback comes with a killing voice now 🥹#THEIR DISCOGRAPHY >>>>>>#yeah I admit that third gen boy groups just are built different #and this is from a second gen supremacist #I’m so sad I’m too poor to cop the album 😔#this unemployed life is not for me 🥲#Jackson looks soooo good soooo happy soo healthy sooo beautiful I love his voice sooo much #they all looks soooo good #BAMBAM AND THIS BLUE HAIR HAS ME ON MY KNEES #he looks soooo 🥵🥵🥵🥵#they all do #and ….. not a single skinny jean in sight 💀#we are officially old #you can see their individual styles in how they dress #they’ve really have grown so much into their own while still forever being got7 #got7 #winter heptagon #killing voice #tones rant

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icewindandboringhorror · 11 days ago

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Would most people realistically use 'carry' and 'convey' as synonyms in typical speech?? Seems a slightly reaching comparison to me lol

#Usually thesaurus.com's Synonym Of The Day is fine but every once in a while there areones like this #where looking at the initial email I'm like...?? i don't know?? none of them really????#Like out of the three options given without any additional context #I guess reading further I can kind of see where it comes from if you're using it in a less literal sense #like ''the poem carries sad tones through it's words'' > ''the poem conveys tones of sadness through its wording''#but thinking of the more everyday usage of the word carry and how most often you hear it. it seems initially like an odd comparison #to say Convey would be an actual known/commonly used synonym of it.#Which I do get it. theyve probably had to come up with thousands of these now. so sometimes you're probably stretching things a little #to make more absract connections lol. But it's just kind of funny sometimes when you open the #email and its like "which of these are a synonym of the word Dog? -- Mug. Amulet. or Orange Peel.'' and you're like ?????? none???#and then you click on it and it's like ''the third useage of the word 'dog' means to drink from a fountain. which is kind of like drinking #from a mug. um.. so yeah. :)'' and then I go okay :3 thesaurus dot com you could never make me hate you. sure. a dog is a mug. :3 #Anyway... coming out of a full week of no posting on the internet just to reflect on an odd synonym of the day email lol.. I am like an #80 year old man who sits in his study all day ignoring everyone then will randomly come out sometimes to go 'ahhrmm.. take #a gander at this interesting crossword I've just found in the paper. strange right? .... ok. hmhpph. back to my library..'

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tetsuskei · 11 days ago

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my job has thankfully given me better confidence in explaining my ideas and executions and also talking to ppl in different departments. this was all a struggle when i started where i currently work.

#for context i am an art director #right now i’m doing a competition for submitting a poster #for the cannes festival #he’s really nice actually #had to explain my idea to a higher up and he gave great feedback #my old manager told me last night how he was impressed at what stage i am in my career #based on my age (23)#i’m very young compared to everyone else #so im always the baby at my job #i’ve been very lucky #it took me four months to find a job out of college #esp with art related jobs #and i don’t think that parents understand how hard it cans be #anyways #it was so funny talking to my coworkers last night #for the first time in person but also so fun #i feel sad i work remotely #i would definitely enjoy seeing them more often #im going out with some tonight and tomorrow morning for brunch before i fly home #everyone is so nice and kind #esp the ppl i work with #i’m gonna be sad to leave #bittersweet but i am happy to be here #:’))#maybe one day i will live in *#risu’s rambles ☆

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sysig · 24 days ago

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What you’d least like to hear (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Damned #ZEX #DAX #I actually made this much earlier in the year - I wanna say in June?? But held off on it #I'd review my notes but hrmnh - best I can guess is I planned to digitize it and that didn't pan out before the end of the year #It also looks like it might've been around the same time as my ISaT fic - very much in the same emotional vein #I really love DAX <3 He's so wonderfully prideful and sure of himself and Very Certain that he and ZEX are a forever kind of deal hehe #Even if that means getting regularly knife-twisted about his feelings he's still willing and wanting to be by his side and support him #He loves him! He wants to be useful to him and has deeply-held confidence that he is needed by him #Irreplaceable - ZEX's DAX #Which of course means that being told By his Admiral that he was Wrong and Foolish to ever think as much #Where's he supposed to go from there #I saw something similar in a post recently actually - maybe just waiting for the time to finally be right haha #''I forged myself into a weapon specifically for you and now I have no other purpose to serve'' ough #Living for someone else to its extreme conclusion #I was rereading DAX and Dr. Vargas(es)'s scene recently as well - ''Do you have any dreams of your own?'' hghh #It's not quite of the Skelebros or the Vargases but whatever DAX has towards ZEX is definitely Something ''Who am I without you''#Another part of what makes We Do What Is Necessary so sad! One without the other is always sad but DAX without ZEX...#I really do want to continue the fic I have from his/Dexter's POV as well - what Would he be like without his main focus!#Somewhere he never thought he'd be - everything ZEX after a point haha #The fun of the institute is the opportunity to explore such owies right in the forefront - so many forms of emotional and physical torture #What would make ZEX say something like this! Or would Whoever-it-is just happen to share his current body's face hmm #Never quite sure who anyone is with changing bodies around here #Not that Max would say it like this either haha but who's to say it would have to be Max hmm #Considerations many

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charlesemersonwinchesteriii · 1 year ago

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#I say no! Because it's clearly against his wishes and I am a strong advocate of children's rights.#He should have been able to decide for himself whom to live with and I would've hoped the enlightened future world of the Federation #would have recognized that :(#Star Trek: Deep Space 9 #And now I'm wondering what everyone else thinks so! Poll time!#As I'm writing these tags after rewatching the episode I realize the decision may have been due to political stability reasons #(i.e. trying not to antagonize the Cardassians; a smart move at this point in the overarching story)#or even (as Sisko mentions to Pa'Dar toward the end) trying to encourage the Cardassians to take care of the actual orphans on Bajor too #but in that case I wish it'd have been made more clear in the episode #& the point would still stand: are either of those reasons sufficient justification for taking Rugal away from his family against his will?#Starky's Original Posts #polls #posts where you can really tell OP lived in constant fear of being either sent or taken away from their parents as a child #and it's getting in the way of enjoying what's truly important (garashir). sad!

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rosicheeks · 6 months ago

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#anyone know how to deal with overwhelmingly jealous and envious thoughts?#I just can’t stop comparing my life to other peoples #just went to my sisters new place #I would literally kill for a place like that #but I’m still stuck in my parents basement #not having a safe space to go #I eventually got over it while I was hanging out with family #but when I left I had to bump into a group of girls #all dressed up #looks like they were either going out or getting back from a club or something #and damn #I miss those days #I only got a taste of it very briefly before I was even of age #like 18-19 #and now I’m fucking 26 and I don’t have friends to go out and have severe social anxiety #when I see people like that having a good night or whatever #I just get so sad and jealous #I’ve been wasting the past 6 years of my life #literally just trying to survive #and then everyone else around me is actually living and enjoying their lives #obviously it’s not all sunshine and rainbows but they have the support system or a place or something to lean on when something bad happens #I have nothing #I have no support system #not able to heal or really live in my current place #been struggling to just get out of bed #trying ro figure out a job but when I can’t even get out of bed how the fuck am I gonna do that?#struggling A LOT right now #shut up rosie #delete

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year ago

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friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT.#anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure.#and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone.#i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:((#honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug.#im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

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floral-hex · 11 months ago

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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.