#so im always the baby at my job
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my job has thankfully given me better confidence in explaining my ideas and executions and also talking to ppl in different departments. this was all a struggle when i started where i currently work.
#for context i am an art director#right now i’m doing a competition for submitting a poster#for the cannes festival#he’s really nice actually#had to explain my idea to a higher up and he gave great feedback#my old manager told me last night how he was impressed at what stage i am in my career#based on my age (23)#i’m very young compared to everyone else#so im always the baby at my job#i’ve been very lucky#it took me four months to find a job out of college#esp with art related jobs#and i don’t think that parents understand how hard it cans be#anyways#it was so funny talking to my coworkers last night#for the first time in person but also so fun#i feel sad i work remotely#i would definitely enjoy seeing them more often#im going out with some tonight and tomorrow morning for brunch before i fly home#everyone is so nice and kind#esp the ppl i work with#i’m gonna be sad to leave#bittersweet but i am happy to be here#:’))#maybe one day i will live in *#risu’s rambles ☆
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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Does he know what an emoji is *thinking*
#in his defense: its a stupid question#but also i just love how he always panic defaults to puppy ears... those are his emotional support hand gestures#also he said his favourite chanel thing is 'hand soap' so. ? great job baby. picked the weirdest one#okay my work for seungnation is done for the night im going to walk my real dog#kim seungmin#skz#skz gifs#bystay#createskz#seungminsource#gagwansouce#vocalracha#stray kids#jesskz#skzco
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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rebabied hermes au but hermes starts crying and apollo travels multiple hundred miles in the blink of an eye without even thinking about it because he used to keep an ear out for when little hermes was upset and even after hundreds if not thousands of years it’s still Deeply ingrained in him
he will always deny this reflex without fail however
#puppy chitchat#rebabied hermes au#baby hermes#hermes was a very dramatic baby imo#but apollo will always be there. fuck the boy who cried wolf hes a big brother and he has a job to do#also im fully aware my fixation is kinda weird. but love-hate sibling dynamics are very comforting to me#so i have to project them onto my current interests#and obviously this is about fictional depictions of the greek pantheon lol#bcs i Do believe in most pagan pantheons and i would never disrespect them by talking about the real them this way lol#im overthinking this sorry wah#i jus dont want people yelling at me for being strange and not adhering to mythos or wtvr#guh
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SEASON 5 OF HOUSE IS SO FUCKING CRAZY
#ppl keep telling me theyre watching it now bc i wont shut up abt it and i cannot put into words how ECSTATIC that makes me#but im wondering if i shld tag spoilers now#ngl it’s such a good show even if you know things abt it it’ll still hit u#but i certainly wld rather be surprised#anyway. spoilers. season 5. the hostage situation. house handing the gun back. him nearly dying bc he’s taking methadone on top of the#vicodin. him throwing away his cane bc he’s not in pain for once. quitting the methadone bc he made one (1) mistake and can’t forgive#himself bc he has to be medically right or he has nothing.#also thirteen and foreman. im so bisexual.#cuddy and her baby. cuddy firing house for the methadone then seeing how much it helps him and offering the job back. her wanting him to#take it but house refusing#wilson and house. as always.#shoutout to kutner also. my beloved.#OUVGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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unnerving to see people younger than me living their lives and doing adult stuff successfully. stop that you're supposed to eat ice cream for dinner and be unemployed
#stop making me look bad by having a husband and a baby rn you're 22 fr 😭#tho i do have two friends who got married at 18 and 21 and actually i look good compared to them bc everyone they know was like stoppppp#they dated for ike 4 months before getting engaged lmao#but some people who got married young are actually doing okay and normal and that makes me look bad lol#not necessarily always abt marriage tho#people younger than me with an actual career or grown up job make me feel this way also#anyway#every day im living a life indistinguishable from when i was a teenager and many people my age are already parents with mortgages and such#😐😐😐#anyway i spent my grown up job money on some flowers and now i have no job bc i let my mean supervisor bully me into quitting#i also spent grown up job money on an oven (successfully) and a car (unsuccessfully)#i am rlly just out here.... telletubby with a credit card fr#job just give you money and you can spend it on whatever you want (but watch out)#anyway car was a piece of garbage that couldn't pass inspection 😔#was so proud of myself paying cash for my first car but there's a reason it was that cheap lmao
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#cassy bitches#i am. so fucking tired and annoyed and stressed#our fucking shower hasn't worked in two weeks bc my parter decided to remodel and then didnt finish the job!#and now her fucking sibling fucked up our dishwasher and it leaked water EVERYWHERE including apparently under the floorboards#and im pretty sure i can smell black mold in the kitchen now which! great! another nightmare we're gonna have to fix ourselves#since we cant afford to get a contractor and even if we could no one ever returns our calls when we do try to hire someone#AND my friend went to surgery for appendicitis and that's freaking me out#and ON TOP of that ive been creatively juiced out and feeling like shit about the things i make and my ocs and like. me#like everyone's just been secretly tolerating me all this time and if i disappear no one's going to notice#i feel like nothing i make or am doing is worthwhile and im just GROSS and ANGRY and ANNOYING#and even complaining in tags on a post makes me feel like a whiny baby like. there are wars etc why am i complaining boo hoo#so i cant even talk to people about how i feel bc it makes me so ashamed that im feeling this way to begin with#ive been resisting the urge to just delete everything at this point bc then at least i wont have the urge to check everything and feel wors#why does awful shit always happen right around my birthday. why am i cursed like this
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getting sloppy drunk for the first time on accident: woo! i am going to luxuriate in the todays decadent win of the montreal canadiens, mes habs, over the florida panthers and the fact that our baby rookie baby goalie shut out said defending stanley cup champs! and also think salacious things about sam monty montembeault. olé
#only time ive ever been happy seeing snowbirds consume something back home!#it was only in becoming a habs fan that i realized all those french ppl i encountered at work back home were probably canadian#i always wanted to try n use my meagre french to say hi but i didnt have the right words todo my job..... need more mots de poisson. yea#anyway has anyone considered the beauty of potentially having an older very passive strong rock goalie paired with a very young slip on his#own shoes kinda aggro baby goalie#right before the arber fight dach was like fuckin w the guy n he shoved or near shoved dobes and dobes glove dhim alittle and i remember#being like omggggggggg#monty would NOT do that but youre so valid for this little big man#so fun to see him playin outta the crease i like the different styles i am becoming a conoisseur bro#i like. hockey#i wishhh they showed monty on the bench more. so glad he got rested. if u talk about him like hes a bandaid until fowler comes and hes fully#replaced by dobes do NOT talk 2 me. i like dobes quite a lot but u do NOT need to be shoving my boyyy out the door. respect your goalie#anyway in spirit of old homes. i hope he trounces the bolts lollllllll get it boy#did u know tumblr only allows 30 tags? discovered this last reblog. rude :(#i like that habs get 2 broadcasts because we get sneaky clips. sometimes gone on one but present on other#thank god bec otherwise we woulda missed half the dobes celebration.... sooo happy for that crumb of a guy#we love goalie success.#i wonder if the 30 tag limit is only for reblogs? feels like i msybe passed that but idk. not trying to but#anyway i wore the lovely habs scarf my beautiful talented girlfriend made me all around town. sports!#WILL i be hungover for the bolts game? i dont know. i have never been this drunk before#i had. 1.5 drinks. im a huge fuckin lightweight but TO BE FAIR the furst was really heavy on high strength baibooze#christ#at least i didnt wander into trafgfic how the fuck#dude i hope the habs kick asss tmrw. theyve been buildjng up so well. its ok if they dont i will forgivevthem but they should fight hard....#do it for sain loui#saint louis#do u think they know what benihets are#beignets. from new orleansx#not donuts#i think the habs deserve a crawfush boil. too bad its out of season :(((
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i genuinely don’t know how i’m supposed to act at my age
#like when i have to talk to ppl my age irl they sound old af 😭 and im like are they old or just actual adults?#like i know when to act mature but when in the same age group i feel like i should have my adult voice on#like a customer service voice but more casual???#like for this get together i’m fear i might be one of the youngest ppl there besides like the children of everyone else 💀 like i can go#can’t***#hangout w them and later ima go see my friends and it’s more relaxed but it’s not like we talk about random shit#like we don’t listen to the same music watch the same shows or movies anymore#or they say oh i don’t have time for that or i don’t watch/listen to that many more#????? what do you do? and they’re not on social media besides fb or twt#like unfortunately i’m part of the chronically online 💀💀💀 but i can’t just be like oh im knitting this or crocheting that because that’s my#old lady hobbie i picked up in hs and they were like that’s old ppl shit#they talk about work but i find that so boring idc about what i do everyday that shit stays the same 😭#like it’s interesting to listen to them because i don’t do it but my job it’s same day in day out#and if we talk about fitness it ends up at oh i gained some weight or i lost x amount that means i can have a xyz and not care ….#we are mid to late twenties when tf did you get heartburn 😭 and wtf is that ??? i’ve heard about it but what do you mean??? when did that#start??? like yeah old bones and body aches but damn another meme post about it 😭 stop#like what did i miss when did i stop looking where did yall learn all this#at this point i think im just immature#like my random shit is gonna be ceo/luigi and sk then what i can’t bring up rap kpop spotify wrapped anime my excitement for some local yarn#how i don’t think lady gaga is a good actress or that im lowkey upset about the wicked movie#or that there’s gonna be an american psycho remake like they’re not gonna care#and i can’t be like tf is an appetizer ? that isn’t just restaurant and tv show shit ?#I CANT TELL THEM ABIUT MY PERIOD SHOES I FEEL LIKE THEYRE TONNABNOT LAUGH#my talking points are work (boring and same as always) old car accidents most recently accident (but not too deep) shoulder and back pain#progress maybe complain about grocery prices 😭😭😭#omfg wtf am i supposed to where to the get together with appetizers FUCK#is it chill to go in shorts and a tshirt ????? i’m sure they know we’re the ones smoking outside they can just assume i’m too chill#let’s hope someone has a baby and i can distract them w my ability to somehow charm babies 😭😭😭😭#omg what if their kids are blaming us for the weed smell !?? like imma not narc but i’ve seen them out there too#like idk if they’re college age but i don’t think they’re open about it and im the freak taking walks past midnight 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
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did another quick dhmis rewatch my thoughts are thusly:
duck and yellow friendship FOREVER I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
duck best character ever created ever invented
red guy still scares me and i had to skip the end of transport bc he made me so uncomfortable.
like somehow this rewatch made me like him LESS and he was already my least fave of the main 3
baker terry i love you goodnite
#LIKE. I STOPPED IT EVRY 5 MINUTES TO EXPLAIN TO MY BABY SISTER HOW THIS EP IS DUCK CENTRIC AND HOW THIS AND THAT#and at one point she was like yeah RG kinda got the shaft this series huh?#and i was like oh shut upp he has so many episodes. like uh. transport. and uh. idk but he HAS them ur gonna have to ask someone who#has him as a favorite#bc to ME transport ep is and always is duck and yellow have a fun cute time in the foreground while red guy loses his shit in the bg#HES JUST SO DISTURBING TO ME IN THAT EPPP#STOP SINGING DISSTRESSEDLY YOURE SCARING ME!!#STOP BEING SO DESPERATE AND RESTLESS AND AGITATED!!!#we are IN THE KITCHEN having a fun time COUNTING THINGS on the CLIPBOARD and you literally sound like ur gonna kill someone#stop !!!!!!!!! ffs!!!!!!!!!!!!!#STOP GRABBING STUFF STOP HITTING THINGS UR NOT DOING IT IN A COMEDIC WAY!!!!#scawy................#anyways dont ever watch dhmis with me im so fucking annoying about it#as a joke my sister said one of ducks lines along with him and then i just quoted him like .5 seconds before his actual lines for the rest#of jobs.#WHO CAN QUOTE DUCK THE FASTEST IS NEVER A GAME I /WANT/ TO PLAY BUT IT IS A GAME I PLAY AND WIN EVERY TIME#>:U STOP FORMING A BOND WITH THEM!!!#anyways. red guy maybe try not being so tall and big and scary and maybe ill like you better next time#my postings
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Maybe I'm just cursed 🤪
#trigger warning for everything that follows in these tags btw#i am in need of some venting into the void#so im gonna vent#so uh#im almost out of time to find a new job before i have to leave my flat and move back with my parents#in the past 27 days ive filled in 189 job applications#6 of those led to interviews#so far 5 of those have been rejections#i even started looking at jobs that paid way less than i can feasibly live on just so i could at least cover rent and stay here but no luck#anyway thats already sucky#and then ive had to go off my adhd meds because of continuous and annoying fuck ups with my drs and im hesitant to work to fix it cause#might be moving counties anyway lol#my depression is the worst its ever been in about two years i struggle to want to exist day in and day out and#this morning i found out my dog - my baby who i dont live with because i moved cities - he lives with my parents#we found out he has an agressive cancer - and i have to now make choices i dont feel ready to make#and im just#do you ever feel like youre already one the ground but life wont stop kicking you#and i feel#so lonely#my friends are doing everything right my cousin who i live with is always checking in on me and i am still#convincing myself i am being a burden i am the problem i#my whole life is collapsing and i#even writing this all out in tags my brain is yelling at me for being an 'attention seeker' or smth and idk#i just wanna#idk#its complicated ig#im fighting#i am fighting so hard#i just want ppl to know im doing my best thats all#anyone who read all of this - hi - i hope youre having a beautiful day. its all going to be okay in the end 💛
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I have had a VERY busy week (positive but very very socially draining) and I am ABOUT to have a few days of work and then ANOTHER very busy week (work, 2 different appointments and a job interview) and I just wanna take a moment and remind myself that I may take longer to do things than average but im still DOING them and it's. Okay to still feel tired several days after making a phonecall
#idk im having a lil moment of clarity/calm in the middle of.#what feels like a storm of there Always Being Something that i need to do#and thats never gonna go away but its okay to take a breather here and there to help me keep pushing at it#feeling very positive today bc i got offered an interview for a youth councillor role locally#the main problem with it is its 20 hours a week and a 6 month contract. so i cant leave my current job for it#BUT it would allow me to reduce my hours a bit doing something hopefully less emotionally intense#the coffee shop below us ia recruiting again too which. isnt the best look tbh but i think if im doing two jobs id rather#have one there bc like. ive done fast food#i know i can handle it at its worst for at least a while and the bougie coffee place isnt likely to hit those peaks#so yeah! lots of stuff going on lots to do#definitely not talking to friends as much as i should be#but heres kind of why i guess and currently at least im. feelin pretty good!#we also made it through last month without asking for help#which. is huge but being undercut a little by me spending more than i intended and being mega nervous abt it#not sure how this month is gonna go. but. baby steps.
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I will always be vocal about how much dr stone sucks and how stupid it is but to be quite honest it consumes 80% of my waking thoughts and yes i also downloaded the chinese kemonomimi doujin so i could pretend to read it in my spare time
#Listen to my problems#i was thinking again about how well picked the animals are for them like i really couldnt have done a better job#i always have something to say but this cowed me ....... a lion and a deer ... almost beastars but not .... amazing#no one will ever do it like him again. and not a red deer a white tailed deer like what other creature can present itself#with both majesty and cuteness .... the little bobbing tail ....enough to drive anybody crazy. even his allies want desperately to protect#him... and the one hunting him literally fell in love with him at first sight and licked him all over before letting him go#to be honest you look very delicious but unfortunately im not hungry ...#honestly the smell of blood is hard to ignore so can you tend to that wound first ...#and he sits quietly with him to listen to him because hes so well behaved ... you can be tamed with a fearlessly outstretched hand#the fiercest beast .... hyunjae was right when he said who would turn down that kind of affection#and the view of senku from the bottom up that tail again front and centre... slightly raised so you can see the softest whitest fur under...#but also the cut on his leg that he sustained from wandering the woods with such a tiny skirt. utterly obscene#i understand this is a dj about them eventually having lots of cross species babies but holy fuckkkkk never in history has there been two#characters who are such a perfect match for each other they can do it all#i think senku should get tsukasa pregnant actually. YOU will breastfeed. uhn... leave it to me#anyway since nobody wanted to hear it from me i'll say it here but white tailed deers literally get chased as foreplay because the female#only mates when shes ready so she just evades the male until its time but also it would be funny if senku just isnt fast enough to escape#and he gets mounted right away and tsukasa doesnt let him go until the 24 hour lion mating period is over#every fifteen minutes to half an hour he will get a load up his rear and by the end of it he will look like (pile of shredded lettuce)
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We’ve officially hit the point where I can’t fucking sleep because of this shit and on top of everything the AC went out I literally want to cry I’m so stressed I physically feel like shit like I need to throw up I’m so tired but between my stomach hurting, the stress, and the heat I can’t
#today he told me it ‘wasn’t fair’ that I expected him and his bf to move#just because I refused to get rid of my ‘disgusting cats’ and they would be ‘happier’ in a shelter#his reasonings for why they would be happier in a shelter were all things that they did not do/did not happen until he started this shit#‘they’re always hiding and you never spend time with them’#they hide from YOU#early morning and late at night when you’re in your room they’re fine#im out here rn just sitting with them giving them attention#also yeah I used to give them attention for AT LEAST several hours of the day#but after I essentially got chased out of all the common areas no obviously that wasn’t happening#man FUCK YOU#also sorry I don’t want to spend literal THOUSANDS more than I would other wise to fucking move#esp when YOU moving means no changes in your finances#you make over 50k a year I make barely 20k AND already have more bills to pay than you#why the FUCK should I be getting stuck with the far worse financial decision#and then to try and frame it like you’re getting treated ‘unfairly’ just because I won’t get rid of my cats for you??????#I genuinely hope the stupid fucking car your mom gave you explodes tomorrow idc idc idccccc#ESPECIALLY WHEN HE BOTH THREATENED AND SAID HE DIDNT CARE TO MOVE OUT#and when I said ‘great. do that’ he starts throwing this fucking fit#I hate him so much it is so goddamn UNREAL#I am dealing with a giant man baby who has never been told no in his life before now#and it’s really fucking showing#this is what happens when parents give their kids everything they want#and you have normie cis white man privilege and have also gotten every job/into every program you’ve ever wanted with minimal effort#so when someone finally says ‘no you don’t get whatever you want at my expense’#he has the most immature meltdowns fucking imaginable#kaz rambles
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back from the barbie movie and I certainly have Thoughts on what the movie was doing but overall I do think it's worth seeing! it's fun
#☢️.txt#spoilers in tags!#i think what they did with ken is actually really fascinating and while i do get why the movie doesnt focus on his motivations#or the fantasy politics of barbieland#i AM personally interested in them#like his frustration is coming from a legitimate place and the movie does acknowledge that both barbie (margot) and the barbies overall were#Not In The Right and its not the actual solution to the issue of feminism#in the same way that the movie acknowledged that barbie didnt solve feminism and in many cases ended up playing into#the very ideas that prevent women from pursuing the jobs barbie is often shown in#im sure ppl will critique the movie for not going far enough but like. i dont think their point was to make a massive statement?#so much as it was to make a campy blockbuster that gently acknowledges the ways people can so often feel left out#its not the feminist piece of a generation so much as it is a love letter to barbie that acknowledges how shes#an inherently flawed consumerist brand. but one thats deeply cherished by generations and has left a massive pink stamp on our culture#(its probably worth noting that i have generally positive memories of barbie)#(despite being a weird fat kid i never personally felt alienated by barbie and my memories are extremely fond)#(i didnt like baby dolls bc. i never have liked kids but barbie was a fantasy in sparkly dresses)#(she was married to my dinosaur toys. ive always known what im about yes)#my favorite barbies were swan lake a halloween witch barbie and a halloween ghost barbie#(also idk is this an autistic thing for me to only learn most young girls compared their bodies to barbie at like 14?)#(like it just never dawned on me to compare my looks to a toy tbqh. i was more upset by the actual lack of clothing in my size)
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