#i am a menace and cannot be stopped | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

beomiracles · 3 months ago

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⌞ 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐘'𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘 ⌝

DREAM RECALL “You know what I think of you?” He says, the bed squeaking as he leans forward, dangerously close. “I think you’re scared.” He drawls, eyes boring into your own with such vigor that you almost felt pity for the anger that consumed him. How miserable he must be to live like that. — “I’m not scared.” You calmly state, shifting against the pillows as you instinctively try to create distance between the two of you. Quickly taking note of your hesitant body language, he smirks, “no? Then prove it.”

“Prove that you’re not afraid of the darkness, of my darkness.”

wc -> 17k (oopsie daises)

pairings stepbrother!beomgyu x stepsister!reader warnings stepcest, daddy issues, some mommy issues, character death, emo/punk!beomgyu + he has an eyebrow piercing, major asshole!beomgyu, mentions of alcoholism, lots of arguing, angsty as shit but with a happy ending, talks of grief and letting go, smut (again, stepcest), virgin!reader, loss of virginity, softdom!gyu but he's also a menace, guilt ridden sex, unprotected + pullout, handjob + vaginal fingering, some cum eating, use of "sis" both outside and during the smut (I cannot stress this enough), might be teetering on the edge of dubious consent at some points but nothing crazy. dead dove do not eat

#serene adds ✎ I have no clue of how this happened lol. PLEASE read every single warning I am begging you. don't read this if as much as one single tag made you waver. ⎯ aside from like the fact that it's stepcest, I fucking love this whole fic. I'm so proud of it and I would actually cry if someone (who got through it) would be up to share some thoughts :>

“There’s still time to turn back..” You mutter as you lean against the leather of the passenger seat. Listening to the bustling engine slowly dying out as the car comes to a stop. “Come on princess, don’t be like that.” Your dad sighs as he retrieves the key, turning it between his fingers. “You knew that this move was coming and-“ — “Yeah, I did. But not this soon, not now.” You argue, folding your arms across your chest in defiance. “You could’ve at least waited until I was out of college, until I had gotten my own place.”

More than anything you wished to be able to change your father’s mind, to turn things back to how they were before he met Ms Choi. But that was of course impossible, and now you were paying the price for not getting a room on campus. “But look on the bright side, it’s a mere fifteen minute drive to school, and Beomgyu has his license, I’m sure he could take you someday.” Your dad tries, a small smile on his face. — You grimaced at the name, your chest churning in disgust at the mere thought of sharing a car with that thing.

A tap to your window makes you turn your head in its direction. There stood Ms Choi, she sends you a small wave and before you know it, your father had climbed out of the vehicle, leaving you to sulk. Their voices are muffled through the thick glass but you can see them enveloping each other in a tender hug, your dad leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek. With a small grimace your gaze flickers to the small bracelet around your wrist, its fine silver glinting in the sun and your chest contracts slightly. You supposed you should feel happy for him, it had been a long time since you’d last seen your father so at ease, so in love.

And it wasn’t like you didn’t like his new girlfriend, no you were quite fond of Ms Choi. She was nice, often bringing freshly baked cookies whenever she came over, remembering your favorite foods as she made them when you visited. Most importantly she made your dad feel things he hadn’t felt since the passing of your mother. — You just couldn’t understand how such a sweet woman had managed to raise such a being of a son.

Beomgyu was far from anything his mother represented. He was loud, obnoxiously so, his foul mouth going off every other second, spewing his hatred for the world and the people in it. Beomgyu listened to deranged music, the kind that made your ears bleed. He blamed his father for all his problems, not to mention taking his pent up anger out on his sweet mom. — The black charcoal around his eyes represented that of the rotting darkness slowly eating away at his soul, and you wondered if Beomgyu had always been angry. Perhaps he came out like that, you were almost certain that he was a menace even as a small baby.

You had been to Ms Choi’s house a handful of times. It was a small two story flat, neatly decorated in light and inviting shades and smelled of roses. Had it not been for the first room to the right on the second floor, you would’ve probably loved it there. — The small hallway is familiar as you stumble inside, a heavy suitcase clutched tightly in your grasp. “Oh dear, let me help you with that”, Ms Choi fusses as she reaches for your bag but you merely shake your head, “I’m fine miss, don’t worry”, you assure her.

She turns to your dad who was carrying at least twice your baggage as he walked up the dainty pathway leading to the house. “Beomgyu ought to come down and be of some assistance”, she murmurs as she throws a glance over her shoulder, her eyes traveling up the staircase by the end of the hall. — “I’m sure we’ll be fine!” You quickly chirp, dreading the thought of having to deal with him so soon. But there was no changing Ms Choi’s mind as she immediately calls out for her nuisance of a son.

You swallow thickly as an eerie silence follows, your dads girlfriend huffs out a short breath as she fiddles with the jewelry around her neck. “Beomgyu! Come down here!” The nervous edge to her voice was palpable and part of you took pity on the sweet lady for being stuck with such a being in her house, no less as her biological child.

Soon the floorboards above you creak, the old house immediately giving away the presence of someone else on the top floor. You tried tearing your gaze from the stairs, but it seemed impossible as Beomgyu’s figure emerged. His step is heavy as he drags his feet across the floor, his hair had grown longer since last you’d seen him, and that was over four months ago. You often did your best in avoiding him, thus leading the two of you to meeting less than a dozen times during the two years in which your parents had been pursuing one another. Well to hell with that plan now, you thought.

“Hi darling, why don’t you say hi to-” — “I know who she is.” He cuts her off, sparing you a mere side glance before his gaze shifts to your dad struggling with the suitcases, a look of distaste on his face. “A-Alright”, Ms Choi clears her throat as she motions toward your father, “why don’t you help bring their stuff inside.” She receives only a small huff from her son as Beomgyu pushes past the two of you to venture outside. You don’t miss the flicker of disappointment on his mother’s face. No matter what he did, she would always cherish and protect him. You couldn’t understand why. — She turns to you with an apologetic smile, “your room is down the hall to the right.”

The stairs felt eternal as you pulled your suitcase up, intent on not needing any extra hands. And when you finally reach flat ground, you heave a sigh. Though the comforting peace was short-lived as the thumping beat of a heavy bass filled your eardrums, the sound overpowering that of the wheels on your suitcase as you rolled it along the wooden floor. With a frown you near the first door, it was slightly ajar, allowing for the ear piercing music to float out into the small corridor. Already familiar with the layout of the house, you recognized the room as Beomgyu’s, and as the owner in question was currently downstairs, you dared a small peek.

You can’t remember actually being inside his room, merely passing it in search for the bathroom as the first floor lacked one. And it was unlike anything the rest of the house represented. It was messy and crammed. The once cream white walls were covered in a variety of posters portraying his favorite bands, one of which you guessed to currently be playing through the large speakers by his desk. — His bed looked as if it hadn’t been made in weeks, possibly months and he seemed to be making good use of his floor as an alternate wardrobe. His computer was on as well, the bright light of the screen catching your attention in the otherwise dim room as the curtains drawn prevented much sunlight from reaching through.

Upon closer inspection your eyes widen as you realize what kind of video was playing. The almost naked woman in the footage emits a pornographic moan and your jaw slacks as you take a couple of steps back in complete disbelief. — The room was like a tainted mark left on an otherwise clean canvas. The black lungs of a smoker, rotten and decaying. The only flaw in an otherwise picture perfect home, and you would’ve probably pitied the poor soul living here had it not been Choi Beomgyu.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

The raspy voice sends a shiver down your spine as you twist on the spot, coming face to face with the inhabitant of the room you’d invaded. Beomgyu lingers in the doorway, your discarded suitcase lazily kicked to the side as his brows furrow, the glinting metal on one of them catching your eye, had he always had that piercing? — You gulp, fists clenching before relaxing again.

“I uh…I was.. I was looking for my room..” The excuse was petty, and you knew he could tell by the way his lips pulled into a small grimace. “Well this certainly isn’t it.” He spits, taking a charging step forward and you feel yourself immediately faltering back against his desk. — “Out.” He grits, and you could’ve sworn you heard the way his teeth ground together as his jaw flexed.

Not having to be told twice, you quickly slip out of the room, the door being slammed shut on your ass in a mere second. “What a dick”, you mutter, though you supposed it was somewhat deserved as you went in his room without permission. — Your own bedroom, on the other hand, matched the rest of the house. It was small, barely fitting your bed and a study desk, but the window gazing out over the front yard was remarkable. Your fingers graze along the lace curtains as you think of the multiple ways in which you’d be able to decorate the tiny space. Perhaps living here could become somewhat bearable, you thought.

⸝⸝

No. You quickly found that it would become most unbearable to thrive under this roof. Dinner was awkward. As awkward as it could possibly get. The air was dense, laying on top of your table like a thick blanket, enveloping your party of four in a stale silence. The sounds of silverware scraping against porcelain plates fill the dainty dining room. Every bite felt like a piece of rock sliding down your throat and no matter how hard you trained your gaze to the cut piece of meat in front of you, Beomgyu’s eyes felt like daggers on your skin. Was he still mad about earlier?

“So, Beomgyu, I hear you’re about to start your senior year as well.” Your father clears his throat, turning to the younger male with a small smile. Beomgyu’s gaze finally shifts away from your near sweating figure and over to your dad as he sends him an almost unnoticeable nod. The statement made your eyebrows raise in surprise, he was a year older than you, shouldn’t he have graduated before summer? — Beomgyu answers your unspoken question in a bored sigh, “failed my last year.”

“Oh but he’s worked hard to be able to retake his classes this upcoming semester!” His mother suddenly butts in as she places a hand on top of your father’s. You watch their small exchange before your eyes flit over to Beomgyu who looked almost disgusted at the close proximity your parents held. Of course he would be against it, you wondered if there was anything that didn’t make his nose scrunch up in disdain.

“Then perhaps the two of you can study together?” Ms Choi suddenly exclaims as she looks to you with an expression best described as hopeful. “Your father tells me you do well in school.” — “Of course, my princess is in the top of her class”, your dad boasts as he flashes you a small grin. You sheepishly nod, cheeks reddening at the sudden attention directed your way. “Why, isn’t that an amazing idea, Beom?” His mother cheers to which her son grimaces, “wonderful.”

You didn’t like Beomgyu. And you thought you had every reason not to. You had never met someone so completely disregarding of other people’s feelings. Someone so selfish and arrogant, someone who took so much for granted. Like his mom. — You supposed you envied him a little. Ms Choi was such a wonderful person, not to mention an amazing mother. You often found yourself reminiscing of what you’d lost when in her presence. But Beomgyu seemed to hold little affection for something you longed so desperately to have. — You remember the evening clearly, the first night you met, two years ago.

Dinner was awkward even back then.

You’re sat gathered around the very same table, in the very same seats. Back then you had a small crush on him, on Beomgyu. How could you not? He was everything you weren’t, everything you thought you wanted to be. The expressive t-shirt he wore, a band you didn’t recognize, but you guessed it to be some type of rock. His slightly baggy jeans, decorated with a few simple chains. Dark hair, though it was shorter back then, and of course, the liner around his eyes. It was impossible not to be drawn to him. But he didn’t look at you, not once.

You helped your dad clear the table whilst Beomgyu accompanied his mom in the kitchen as she prepared dessert. “What do you think of her?” Your father asks with a hopeful smile. You knew that he was nervous about introducing someone new to you, and Ms Choi would be the first woman he’d seen since your mother’s passing. You weren’t oblivious to the fact that your approval weighed like a ton of bricks on your dads shoulders, and you didn’t want to let him down.

“She seems sweet.”

He sighs, a relieved sigh. “Do you like her?” You ask, unable to hide the small frown on your face. Your father remains silent for a moment, his hands busying themselves with stacking the plates on top of one another. “I do”, he nods, his face immediately lighting up as he sees your small smile. But before you get another word out, the voice of Ms Choi pierces the quaint house.

Neither of you move, but the conversation between Beomgyu and his mother was no longer private. “Well if that’s how you really feel, then perhaps you’ll find your father’s place a more suitable living space.” Ms Choi exclaims, her voice is thick, as if on the verge of breaking at any given moment. A brief silence follows her words, and you hold your breath.

“That piece of shit lowlife?” Beomgyu suddenly seethes and his mom quickly interrupts him. “Don’t call him that.” She sounds almost pleading. — Her son chuckles and if you had been able to see him, you would guess that he was shaking his head. “You still let him get away with all the shit he’s done?” — “Oh come on, you know it’s not like that, Beom..”

“He’s an asshole, mom.” Beomgyu finally states, his voice holds no resentment, in fact it barely holds any emotion at all. “And you, you’re both naive and stupid for thinking he’s anything else.” — Then he re-emerges from the kitchen, not sparing either you or your father as much as a second glance as he heads for the front door, it slams shut behind him, leaving the faint sobs of Ms Choi to echo through the small house.

Your dad rushes to the kitchen, but you remain frozen in place. His small whispers of reassurance carry out into the dining room as he tries to comfort the crying mess that was his girlfriend. Your eyes flit between the small opening to the kitchen and the hallway; feeling more than conflicted as you gnaw on your bottom lip.

After a few moments of hesitation, you finally come to a decision as you tear yourself from your spot by the since long vacant table. Quietly, you retrace Beomgyu’s last steps and you, too, push the heavy door open. — The cold night air hits your bare arms making you wrap them around yourself as you begin walking down the gravel pathway. You really had no idea of where he might’ve gone, or how you were even supposed to find him. But as you push the squeaking fence gate open, you know that you won’t have to look far.

Perched on the sidewalk, knees tucked to his chest, Beomgyu leans his chin on top of his folded arms. Drawing in a small breath, you muster up the courage to do what you had come out here for. — He doesn’t say anything as you take a seat beside him, mimicking his actions by pulling your knees to your chest as you wrap your arms around them. You weren’t exactly good at comforting people, but you knew what sadness felt like, it was all you had been able to feel for three months after your mother’s death.

“You here to fuckin’ lecture me too?” He spits, his gaze is fixed on the asphalt road in front of him. Perhaps Beomgyu’s sadness was different from yours. You shake your head, though you’re unsure if he can even see it. And for a moment, everything is silent. There was a nervous feeling bubbling within your chest, you didn’t know if it was because of your small crush on him or because of the argument you just witnessed between him and his mom. The argument sounded stupid in your ears, and it got you wondering..

“Why do you hate your father?” Your words ring out in the quiet night air, and somewhere to your left, you feel Beomgyu shift against the concrete sidewalk. You guess he hadn’t expected the question. — “‘Cause he’s a piece of shit.” He huffs, though his voice lacks the spite it held when in discussion with his mom. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you frown. “But he’s still your father, isn’t he?”

Beomgyu might as well have laughed in your face. He shakes his head, one of his hands ruffling through his dark hair before he lets it fall to his side. “That changes nothing”, he states. You were tempted to disagree, it changed everything, didn’t it? To hate someone, to hate someone so close to you, someone so important.. You don’t think you could ever hate your father.

“Have you tried talking to him?” Perhaps it was a stupid proposal, but in truth, you were at loss for ideas. Beomgyu snorts, his worn out sneakers kicking a few small rocks as he lets them roll out across the street. “You can’t talk to someone like him, and even if I could, I would have nothing to say to him.” — He draws in a sharp breath, holding it for a good moment before he slowly lets it go. “Some people..” he begins, his fingers picking at a few strands of vegetation that had managed to seep through the cracks of the constructed road. “Some people don’t deserve to have kids, some people shouldn’t have them.”

You’re silent after that, unsure of what to say. He was right, some people were not meant to be parents. You wondered what his dad could have possibly done to warrant such hatred from his only son. It felt wrong to pry, so you didn’t. He would tell you one day, when he was ready, at least you thought so. — “But your mom is–”

“My mom is stupid.” He spits, his expression suddenly turning sour. You didn't like how Beomgyu spoke about his mother, or how he spoke to her. “She doesn’t understand how fucked up dad is, and she still defends him despite everything he’s done.” — He bites the inside of his cheek, his brows furrowing together as his gaze remains ahead. “She’s truly pathetic.”

Your chest churned at the statement. And perhaps your relationship with Beomgyu would’ve turned out different, had you not said your next words. But you couldn’t help it, and you didn’t regret it either. “At least you have a mother.” It angered you. It angered you that he treated people so close to him with such hatred. Did he not understand? Not everyone had the privilege of seeing their mom everyday, not everyone got to feel her warm embrace, eat her food, have her kiss your cheek.

Beomgyu’s hatred was selfish. He was selfish. Because you would have done anything to see your mother one last time. — He turns to you, and for the first time that night, he looks at you. “And that makes you so special?” His gaze narrows down on you, the dark liner around his eyes only makes his expression look twice as gloomy. “You think you’re the only one who’s life is shit just because your mom went and died?”

His words stung, like salt on a fresh wound, slowly being rubbed in. You fight back the tears that were prickling in the corners of your eyes. You just wanted to help. But you were obviously not very good at comforting people, still, you thought that he might’ve been at least a little understanding. How idiotic of you. Beomgyu rises to his feet, giving the gravel beneath him one final kick as it flies everywhere.

“Don’t think you know the first thing about me just because you’ve heard me and my mom argue once.” His expression darkens even further in the pale night, and you swallow a small sob. “And don’t for a second think that we have anything in common, or that you have the right to talk to me like that.” He snaps, hands digging into the denim of his jeans, the chains on them rattling as he does.

“It’s not my fault your mommy died, but let me give you a piece of advice yeah?” He leans down, his face inches from your own and you resist the urge to pull back, instead blinking up at him as a nasty sneer casts over his features. “Get over it.”

With that, he straightens himself back up, letting out a small scoff as he turns on his heel before venturing down the street. — Beomgyu didn’t come back home that night, Ms Choi told you so, you didn’t know where he went, you didn’t care. From that point on, you hated Choi Beomgyu, you hated everything that was him, everything that reminded you of him. But most of all, you hated anything that made you feel like he had made you feel that night; the night he’d left you on the street to sob in your hands.

⸝⸝

Your first official night under Ms Choi’s roof felt weird, it didn’t feel at all like home, maybe because it wasn’t, or maybe because you laid in bed with the knowledge that Beomgyu was only a room away. — It was dark, the soft glow of the moon seeping through your lace curtains. You had yet to fully unpack, your small night lamp long forgotten about in one of the boxes downstairs. The room smelled weird too, it didn’t smell like home, like mom.

Despite it being years since she passed you often found resolve in venturing inside your parents room, the room that smelled the most of her. How you would let the tips of your fingers trail across the smooth bed sheets as you imagined her sleeping form. — The first months after her passing you even found yourself going through her old clothes, trying to keep anything that carried her scent close. But even the house itself held her presence, her laughter echoing off the walls, her soft hum as she prepared dinner, her cheerful voice as she skipped down the stairs.

This house did not hold a single trace of your mother, she was truly gone. Your dad had moved on, he had fallen in love, he’d stopped being miserable, he no longer cried for his deceased wife in the darkest hours of night. Did that make him a bad person? You wanted to hate him for leaving your mom behind, even though she was technically the one who had left you. You wanted to tell him that he should never love a woman that wasn’t her. But you couldn’t. And you wouldn’t. — Your father was happy now.

Perhaps Beomgyu had been right that night. Perhaps you should get over it. Perhaps you should’ve gotten over it a long time ago. But you didn’t want to, because getting over it meant letting go, letting go of your mom, and you didn’t want that. She was your mom.

Your fingers instinctively reach for the bracelet around your wrist, fiddling with the silver anxiously. This was your last piece of her, your last line, the string that still connected you to her. — You treasured it dearly yet you couldn’t but feel almost melancholic whenever you turned the jewelry around in your hands, an immense wave of sadness washing over you as the small piece kept reminding you of what you’d lost.

You shake the tears away, sitting up as you lean against the bed frame. You wouldn’t cry tonight, you wouldn’t allow that. Instead your mind wanders down the hall, down to the room on your left. You wondered what Beomgyu was up to, was he already asleep? Maybe he was feeling restless too.. “What the fuck”, you scoff, shaking your head at the glimpse of sincerity you cast his way. Having already gone through with that mistake once, you would be sure to not make it again. Beomgyu didn’t deserve your sympathy.

He didn’t deserve anything.

⸝⸝

The following weeks went by in almost a blur. Your dad and you got settled in quickly, and with the help of Ms Choi, you now had a wildflower blooming by the sill of your window. Not to mention the pink rug you had so carefully picked out as you laid it in the center of your room. — But happiest was probably your father. It was sweet, seeing how giddy he got whenever the new woman in his life was around, you liked watching him fall in love. And without you even realizing it, the small house soon began to feel like home.

Even you and Beomgyu got along fine, if getting along was what you could call it. You had silently conducted a small routine which was to be strictly followed by the two of you. It helped ensure that you wouldn’t have to run into one another more than absolutely necessary. — First, you always used the bathroom at seven. He was never up by then and you enjoyed having free access to both the shower and toilet as you took your time getting ready for the day.

Second, your rooms were strictly prohibited areas, under no circumstances were you allowed to step foot inside his personal space, nor was he to do so in yours. That didn’t change the fact that he would continuously blast his ear screeching music so loud that the floorboards thumped in rhythm to the beat. Nor did it change the way you threw your hairbrush against the wall in an attempt to get him to shut up, not that it ever proved successful.

Third, and perhaps the most important one; you did not know each other outside of home. Senior year in college started about two weeks ago, and within the four confined walls of the school building, you and Beomgyu were nothing but mere strangers. Not that the same couldn’t be said for the way you treated each other back at home. Which leads you on to another unspoken rule, the rule that made your parents believe that you got along just fine.

You think it was said last rule that made everything come crumbling down one October night.

“A whole week?” You splutter, your fork slipping from your grasp and hitting the porcelain plate in front of you. Ms Choi makes a small grimace at your blunt shock but quickly masks it with a smile, “yes, me and your father were thinking..” — “Come on princess”, your dad interrupts, leaning forward ever so slightly. “You’re more than old enough to sit the house for a week, besides, we’ve been meaning to get some alone time.” He sends you a look that practically screams, “don’t fuck this up for me, alright?”

With a small groan you nod, “yeah it’s alright I suppose.” But it wasn’t, in fact it was far from it. This meant that you would have to spend a full seven days, locked up in the same house as Beomgyu, with no one to save you. “Is this what people call dark humor?” You mutter, though not loud enough for anyone to pick up on, at least you thought they couldn’t. Opposite you, Beomgyu’s lip twitches as his tongue prods against the inside of his cheek, his fingers playing with the rings on his hands; clearly not oblivious to your small comment.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine”, Ms Choi adds in a most lighthearted tone. Your dad slowly nods as his gaze flits between you and Beomgyu, watching as you both turned to shoot him a small smile.

⸝⸝

“And don’t forget to lock the door, oh and I’ve written down all the emergency numbers on a piece of paper plastered on the fridge, and there’s–” — “Dad, I’m fine.” You take his hands in yours, giving them a light squeeze and your father grins, “right, sorry princess.” He throws a quick glance over his shoulder to where Ms Choi was waiting by the car, having already shared a most quick farwell with her son.

“Go, I’ll be okay”, you sigh as you urge him toward the door. “Alright, alright, just promise to call if anything happens.” He pleads as he ruffles your already disheveled hair due to the amount of hugs he had insisted on. You give him an affirmative nod as he steps out. “Love you, princess!” Is the last thing he gets out before you close the front door in his face, worried that you might never have him leave if you didn’t. The hallway quickly becomes enveloped in a near deafening silence, the emptiness of the house palpable. But the short-lived peace would soon be disrupted.

“Fuck, are you fourteen or twenty?” Beomgyu jeers as he leans against the doorframe leading into the living room, arms folded across his torso. He’s dressed in a pair of loose jeans that hung low on his waist, and had it not been for the even baggier t-shirt thrown on his chest, you would’ve probably caught more than a glimpse of his stomach. The piece of jewelry on his eyebrow glints in the faint morning light as he sends you a small frown.

It was too early for any of his snarky remarks, you thought as you swallowed a deep breath. Just ignore him, don’t bite back, that’s what he wants. But as you watch his conceding smirk practically double in size at your silence, you find yourself unable to hold back. “Well at least I talk to him.” It was a low blow, and you knew it. You didn’t care, for the way his face dropped, if only for a brief moment, made it all worth it.

Beomgyu was quick to hide his initial surprise as he shifted against the doorframe, his dark eyes narrowing down on you. “It’s hardly like you’ve got anyone else to confide in”, he drawls, and you bite the inside of your cheek at his subtle acknowledgement of the lunches you spent alone in the school cafeteria. Your fists clench, your anger on the verge of slipping past the weakening brims of your control.

“You think you’re so much better, huh?” Your angered huff is met by a low chuckle but before he gets a reply out, you cut him off. “I’m not the one retaking a whole year of college, I mean, I knew you were stupid, but this exceeds any of my previous assumptions.” The words slipped from your lips without you being able to stop them, and it felt good, really good. Beomgyu’s jaw visibly clenches at the insult thrown his way, the arms over his chest flexing as his body tensed.

Feeling almost high off of the harsh remarks, you continue. “Let’s not even bring up your mom. You can barely look her in the eyes, you treat her like absolute shit, and at your grown age too.” — It’s his turn to flare up now, his previously stunned expression immediately morphing into a scowl as he charges forward. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about her in front of me.” He seethes, teeth grinding against each other as he reaches you, his fingers wrapping around the collar of your blouse as he shoves you against the wall with a thud.

For the two years in which you had known Beomgyu, sorry, been acquainted with, you don’t think the two of you had ever as much as even shook hands, much less hugged. But now his face was only inches from yours, burning with so much rage that you thought you might just combust into a pile of ashes on the floor. His chest heaves, and his grip on your shirt is near deadly as he yanks the fabric up, his taller frame looming over your own.

You scoff, trying to mask the unease that immediately surged within your chest at his close proximity. “See? Can’t even bring your mom up without you throwing a hissy fit", you jeer. — The scowl once on his lips, slowly turns into a sneer, a sly look emerging on his face, like you had just said exactly what he needed to hear, given him the opportunity he’d been searching for.

His breath is warm on your already hot body as he speaks. “Well it’s not exactly like you’re any better.” You catch his tongue dragging across his bottom lip, as if savouring the moment, his eyes focused solely on the way your once stoic expression fell. “Can’t even mention her without you bursting out into tears.” — You open your mouth to object, your brows furrowing at the accusation but he’s quicker, shamelessly cutting you off to get his point across. “There’s no use in denying it. Don’t you think I’ve heard you? Crying in your room late at night, crying for your dead mommy.”

His gaze snaps to your wrist, hand darting out to grab ahold of it as his thumb slides across the bracelet resting there. “And this? A souvenir of her death? That’s pathetic.” He cocks his head to the side, a wicked grin spreading across his lips. “It’s like a child sleeping with stuffed toys”, he sneers, letting go of you with a small grimace before his grip returns to the collar of your shirt.

You hated the way your teary eyes almost immediately gave you away, and you fervently tried to blink them away; much to no avail as Beomgyu chuckled. “Did I hit a nerve?” He wonders, voice laced with fabricated pity. It made you sick to your stomach. — “Sorry, princess”, he coos, but nothing about the way he gripped onto your flimsy blouse made for a convincing apology. Your eyes narrow at the familiar nickname and his smirk only widens. “Isn’t that what your daddy would say? Princess?”

Hearing the name you treasured so dearly coming from his mouth, the word tainted with his hatred and evil, it made you bite the inside of your lip, hard. “What? Don’t like it?” He hums, his fingers on your shirt loosening, if only slightly as he leans even closer. It was easy to make out the details of his face now, the piercing stuck through the skin of his eyebrow, the area slightly red, as if irritated. The dark charcoal around his eyes, you wondered if he slept in it, probably. You will your gaze to stay locked with his, not daring to glance down at his lips.

“Then what should I call you? Sis? Sister? Little Sister?” He looks almost as if he’s about to burst into laughter and you wanted nothing more than to slap that disgusting smirk from his face. “I’m not your sister.” You state, refusing to ever be perceived in such a way. — Beomgyu let’s his head fall to the side, his brows raising in a flicker of surprise. “But we’re family now, aren’t we?”

You close your eyes, thinking that maybe if you just pretended that he wasn’t there for an extended period of time, he might actually disappear. But once you reopen them, you find him still watching you, his smirk stretched so wide that he almost appeared uncanny. “You don’t know the first thing about what makes a family.” You let your words linger in the now very thick air, watching with an almost gleeful expression as Beomgyu lets out a small scoff, though leaning back as he lets go of your shirt.

“Quit trying to act like you’ve got me all figured out.” Is all he says, his voice now eerily calm, a kind of calm that makes your blood run cold. — “Then quit acting like such a terrible person, and maybe people would start seeing you for something else.” You mutter, your words not intended for his ears to catch, but they do. His gaze flickers over your body, pressed against the wall in an attempt to create as much space between the two of you as humanly possible.

He shakes his head, his lip twitching as he runs a hand through his long hair. “How about you quit trying to act like you know what makes a terrible person.” — His words leave you silenced long enough for him to make his escape as he heads for the staircase. The last thing you see is his dark retreating figure, the sound of him trudging up the steps filling the house. You slump against the wall, letting out a shaky exhale as you let your eyes fall closed, already dreading the week ahead.

⸝⸝

To your surprise, day one and two went by like usual, with the absence of your father and Ms Choi of course. You and Beomgyu managed to avoid one another just like normal, and whilst you ate dinner downstairs, he always brought his food to his room. Sometimes it was almost as if you were living alone, you had the whole house pretty much to yourself and you often took the opportunity to lounge by the sofa in the living room.

After your fight two days ago, part of you had thought that things might worsen even further between the two of you. But if anything, you’d seen even less of him than you usually would and you think you could count the interactions you’d shared with him on your fingers.

Your whole body feels heavy as your head hits the pillow that night. Four more days, you tell yourself. You could do four more days. All you had to do was keep up the role you’d been playing for the past three days.

And as you lay in bed, you let your thoughts wander, wander to your dad. The two of you engaged in shorter calls every evening. It was a nice distraction from your otherwise plaguing reality. Your father told you about the beach, the ocean and the seashells; he and Ms Choi were staying at a hotel by the seaside for the week, and you felt your heart swell at the excitement in his voice.

“You’ll have to come with us next time!” He exclaimed, the powerful winds surrounding him made his words come out jagged on the other end of the line. Still, you thought you were able to make out the faint sounds of waves crashing against the shore as he walked along the water. — “I’d be happy to”, you agree, a small grin playing on your lips at the thought of going on vacation with your dad again, it had been so long.

Soon Ms Choi joins your conversation, you hear them share a quick kiss before her tender voice addresses you. “How’s Beomgyu doing dear?” She wonders and your smile immediately falters at the mention of his name. You bite your lip, unsure of what to say, did she not talk to him, not at all, not once? — In the end, you settle for something for half a lie and half a truth. “He’s doing fine.”

Your dads girlfriend exhales on the other line as she thanks you. “Are you two getting along well?” Your father asks, a hint of suspicion following his inquiry. Even though Ms Choi was quick to defend her son, your dad still seemed to hold back when it came to him, if only slightly. “We’re doing just fine.” You lied, not wanting to address just how awkward things were and how you most definitely wanted them to return home as soon as possible. You wouldn’t ruin your dads shot at happiness just to soothe your own worries.

But as night approaches, the faint glow of the moon seeping through your thin curtains, you find yourself unable to sleep. Though this time, it’s not because of your reeling mind, rather a faint noise coming from the room down the hall and to your left. — During your previous nights, the house had been eerily silent, almost deafening as it added to the feeling of you living there alone. And Beomgyu was not one to play music at such an hour, even though he was likely still very much awake.

With a small frown you sit up, fingers grasping the bed sheets beneath you as you shift on the mattress. It was near impossible to make out any details regarding the noise, only a hushed sequence here and there could be heard and your frown deepens. But your desire for a full night’s sleep quickly overweighs any doubt as you’re reminded of the early morning class you had the following day, and the bed squeaks as you gingerly climb off of it, quietly venturing out into the dark hallway to face whatever awaits you.

You’re able to locate the source of the sound as soon as you step out into the dark hall, and your throat goes dry as your eyes seize the door leading to Beomgyu’s bedroom. — The floorboards creak under your weight, making you freeze as you listen for a shift in the noise coming from his room, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed.

Carefully you creep forward, a hand on the wall to guide you as you near your target. The closer you get the clearer the noise gets, and for a moment you wondered if he was hurt as deep grunt-like sounds slipped through the crack of the wooden door. What would you even tell him? Biting the inside of your cheek, you shake your head. Just yell at him, cause a scene, do something.

Your fingers are wrapped around the door handle when you suddenly stop, your heart practically leaping out of your chest as a small moan reaches your ears. Stunned, you remain frozen in place as you listen to the ragged breathing of Beomgyu, coming from inside his bedroom and your foggy brain slowly pieces together what he was up to. A wave of disgust washes over you, perhaps even embarrassment at having caught him doing something like that.

It takes you about half a minute to snap out of your initial shock, eyes darting back down the hall as you plan to make your escape, because there was no way you were going to let him know that you’d heard him. But just as you turn around to head back to safety, a deep groan makes you halt. “Mhhn fuck”, Beomgyu grunts, his voice muffled by the wall separating you but you clearly catch the ragged moan following the curse.

You thought you could make out something else in the far background, a faint whisper of someone else. He hadn’t brought someone over had he? No, that’s impossible, you would’ve known. And soon the all too familiar and almost theatrical moan of a woman pierces the air.

Teeth latching on to your bottom lip, you stand torn, your brain desperately yelling for you to leave, to forget that any of this ever happened, to not pry further and spare your last bits of sanity. But another part of you, a far more sinister one, keeps your body locked in place, making you unable to move neither forward nor back; forcing you to listen as your Beomgyu gets off to some cheap porn video in his room.

You felt dirty just by hearing him, but the other part of you felt something dangerously close to excitement, your heart thumping unmistakably faster as your gaze flickers back toward his shut door.

“H-ah..” He breathes and you swallow a gulp, sweat sliding down your forehead at the strange feelings swirling inside of you. Your hands clench at your sides, shivers rippling through your body as you hold your tongue, terrified of making your presence known. — He should be ashamed, not you, you had merely passed by, right? So why did you feel so bashful standing here, right outside his room, in the middle of the night, like some creep.

“Mhhn fucking hell”, he croaks and you screw your eyes shut, desperately trying to erase the images playing in front of you like that of an old film. Images of him, his head thrown back, his lips slightly parted, lidded eyes and his hand… his hand wrapped around– “Oh my god”, you breathe, bracing yourself against the wall as your head falls forward. You had to get out of here.

⸝⸝

Disgusting. That’s what he was. Not only a loathsome person but a pervert too. And as you walk down the familiar street, your school bag flung over your shoulder, you think of ways to confront him about his behavior. He was in the wrong here, not you. Besides, your request for him to keep it down at night was reasonable.

The wooden fence gate feels rough under the tips of your fingers as you push it open, your eyes falling on the quaint house before you. The gravel makes a crunching noise beneath your shoes as you near the front door, the lump in your throat only growing in size. — It was such a pretty house, and to think that something so dark resided within its walls made you sick. Still, you unlock the old door and make your way inside.

The familiar scent of roses invades your senses almost immediately and you take pride in the comforting smell, allowing yourself to just stay for a moment. You knew that he was home already, having spotted his car on your way back, and it didn’t exactly take a genius to figure out where he was currently lounging at. — Discarding your bag alongside your shoes, you begin the small journey up the stairs, not planning on prolonging the inevitable conversation.

The blaring music fills your ears as soon as you reach the top step and you heave a sigh. You could do this, you wouldn’t back down. — The first knock is petty, weak, barely audible over the heavy bass thumping on the other side. You bite your lip, raising your fist once more, this time you give the wood a harsher tap. But still, nothing. You stand there for a moment, listening to the unfamiliar song playing and you wonder why he felt the need to drown himself in music as vile as that. Perhaps it was to quiet the undeniably gruesome thoughts you could only imagine filled his mind.

“Beomgyu!” You shout his name, knuckles near hurting as they pound the door in front of you. Finally, the loud melody comes to an abrupt halt and you can hear him shuffling about inside his room, the soft padding of footsteps approaching and soon he reveals himself. — He looks the same as he always did, as he always had. Except he looks…different. You think it might have something to do with what you had heard him do the previous night. Because something was different, something was no longer the same.

“What do you want?” He spits, the words sound almost like an accusation and you watch as his brows furrow, dark gaze narrowing down on you. Suddenly, you feel your composure crumble, the phrases you’d gone over in your head so many times on the way back home suddenly diminishing to nothing as you stand before him. Your lips part, for whatever excuse you could possibly find but Beomgyu beats you to the case.

“If you’re here to complain about how you miss your daddy then I don’t give a shit.”

Your mouth closes again, your brows mimicking his frown as you peer up at him. Is that what he thinks of you? Is that how he perceives you? As nothing more but a crybaby who can’t go a day without her father, who sobs herself to sleep in the absence of her mother? — “That’s not why I–” — “Like I said”, he cuts you off, his gaze hardening, “I don’t give a shit.”

The grimace painting your face is surely unmistakable and your fists clench as you swallow back the insults waiting on your tongue. “Well I do”, you say, masking your otherwise trembling voice with firmness as you maintain the tense eye contact. Beomgyu appears, if not surprised then at least taken aback, his lip twitching as he lets out a short huff. He folds his arms over his chest, covering the print on his black t-shirt, seemingly waiting for you to continue.

“I’m here to…to ask you..” You find yourself stumbling over your rehearsed lines, mind fumbling for a way to approach the situation without making it awkward for the both of you. Not wanting him to know that you’d heard him but also wanting him to be aware of the fact that you knew exactly what he’d been up to. — “What I want to say is, please keep it down..at…at night, some of us are trying to sleep you know..”

Carefully you peek up at him, trying your hardest to subtly gauge his reaction. But Beomgyu only hums, his brows raising in play-pretend surprise as he leans against the doorframe. “Keep what down? It’s not exactly like I’m blasting music or anythin’” he muses. You shake your head, “that’s not what I’m asking, I’m asking you to keep it down when…when y-you you know..”

The smirk slowly etching its way to his lips should’ve told you everything you needed to know. That he was just looking for ways to push you further, to rile you up and get you flustered, but for some reason it didn’t, and you kept going. — “When I what?” He wonders, eyes flickering over your guarded stance as you awkwardly shift in front of him, letting your weight fall on one leg. “Come on, you know what I mean”, you practically whine, not caring about how immature and childish you sounded as you avoided actually uttering the words out loud.

“When I jack off?” He asks, his tone nonchalant as his hands slide down the pockets of his already low hanging jeans. You meekly nod, gaze dropping to the floor as your cheeks flush with color. “Y-Yeah that…you’re kind of..loud”, you cough, anxiously crossing your arms over your chest as you clear your throat.

Beomgyu seems to be considering your words for a moment, his attention fixed on something behind you as he quietly hums. But then he leans forward, his face landing almost inches from your own and you can clearly see the smudged liner around his eyes now. “And you’ve got a problem with that?” He tilts his head to the side, studying you expectantly.

“Come on now, sis”, he drawls and you cringe, hating how the word sounded on his lips. “You can’t possibly tell me that you’re not twice as loud when you touch yourself.” — The statement made your eyes blow wide as your jaw slacked. Feebly you shake your head in an attempt to deny his accusations. “I- No!” You shriek, taking a small step back as your hands wave in objection. “I don’t– I don’t do stuff…stuff like that..”

Beomgyu’s smirk widens as he watches your apprehensive response, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest. “Stuff like that?” He repeats, the sentence sickly sweet on his tongue. “You mean you’ve never played with yourself like that? How dull.” — You swallow, your throat suddenly feeling beyond parched as you shake your head once more. Was that so bad? Did that make you so different? You’d never understood the appeal, never felt those feelings, never even had a boyfriend. It shouldn’t matter should it?

So why did it make Beomgyu look at you like that? Like you had just become something completely different in his eyes, something prized, something desirable. “Really?” He repeats, as if unbelieving of what he was currently hearing. Your quiet “no” is met by an even more menacing smirk as his tongue prods at the inside of his cheek.

“Why, your daddy must be real’ proud of you then”, he grins and you feel your stomach twist. — “N-No he doesn’t care about stuff like that.” Because why would he? He was your father, sure you were close but some things were better off kept private. But it seemed no matter what you said could make the hungry look in his gaze go away and you felt your heart rate increase tenfold.

Beomgyu merely scoffs, clearly not buying your truths. “Well then your daddy doesn’t know how much of life his daughter is truly missing out on.” — You frown, straightening your back if only slightly as you regard him with a hint of determination. “I’m not missing out on anything, to be frank, I’m quite happy the way I am right now.” You give a short pause, stopping only to give him a quick one over. “Not that the same can be said for you.”

It feels good to watch his once smug expression morph into a much more scowl-like one as he lets out a short huff. When he doesn’t say anything, you feel a proud smirk crawling its way to your lips and you barely manage to conceal it as you turn to walk back to your room. — Only when you’ve reached your door, does he speak again, and you’re surprised to find him still lingering by his own doorway.

“Do happy people cry everyday too, or is that just you?”

⸝⸝

You’re unable to get his words out of your mind and you spend the majority of the following night mulling over them. “Do happy people cry everyday?” Do they? Was crying necessarily a bad thing? People cry when they’re happy too, people cry for a variety of reasons. Some merely sniffle, some sob whilst others practically scream. Could happiness really be measured in tears or was that just something he’d said to get on your nerves, to have the last word?

You lay tossing and turning in bed, your blanket bunching up around your legs before you eventually kicked it off again. — If only your mom was still around, she would be sure to have an answer, for she always did.. You nod to yourself as you mindlessly fiddle with the bracelet around your wrist.

Perhaps you were over analyzing his words, twisting and turning something completely meaningless for hours on end. But it was the only way you’d be able to feel at ease. You had a habit of trying to understand things on a deeper level, knowledge comforted you. It was why you nearly drowned yourself in your studies, why you spent so much time indulging in literature or film. It was your escape.

Part of you supposed you should have Beomgyu completely figured out by now, with the way you memorized each snarky comment of his. But you never did, it felt like you knew nothing about him yet everything all at once. Maybe your knowledge of him was biased. You’d been quick to snap his picture, to paint a vision of him so sinister that you found it hard to view him any differently. — In your eyes, Beomgyu was a selfish and bad person, a person who did not feel empathy nor compassion for others. And perhaps that was why your theories about him seemed to lead you down the same path each time.

But you didn't think that you were a close minded person… Was there really something you had missed, something you had overlooked? Was there more to Beomgyu than he let on to?

You don’t have to ponder much longer for a quiet knock to your door rips you from the deep thoughts previously consuming your mind. With a small flinch you shot up from your bed, crawling back against the headboard as your eyes trained on the entryway to your room. For a moment you think it might be an intruder, but what kind of thief would knock? — Not only knock but proceed to open the door without waiting for a reply. You only knew one person so unthoughtful.

Beomgyu’s shadow is dark, shielded from the dim luminance of the moon mere feet away from him as he stands in the doorway. One step forward would reveal his face entirely, and you find yourself both longing and dreading for him to move. — Why was he here? You guys made sure to avoid one another diligently so why was he willingly ruining it?

“I can help you.”

His voice is low, but he speaks clearly. A crease runs along your forehead as your brows pull into a frown. “Help me?” You repeat, the confusion evident in your tone as you shift against the pillow behind your back. Beomgyu nods, taking a bold step forward which casts an eerie glow across the side of his face. Your gaze flickers from his intense and dark eyes to his lips, pulled into a small smirk and your stomach drops.

You knew why he was here. Because what other motive could he possibly have? — You had seen the way he treated those around him, you had witnessed the effect he had on his mom as she fell to her knees in tears, the way his words had sliced through you like daggers of a knife, shamelessly cutting your barely healed skin. Beomgyu made things around him die, every touch of his was poison, lethal. And now he had come to kill you too.

It wasn’t like his sudden change in demeanor was unexpected, you knew that he was capable of breaking things, breaking people. He had just never paid you much attention because he thought you were already broken. The death of your mother slowly eating you away as you cried for her each night. — But you can tell he’s had a change of heart, the way his eyes rake across your body, barely concealed by the flimsy pajamas you wore, untainted, untouched, pure. Ready for him to kill.

“I don’t need your help.” You try to evade him off, convince him that you were no object of his affection. But it was impossible. Beomgyu shakes his head, slowly approaching your bed before he takes a seat, causing the cushion beneath him to dip slightly. — “You don’t even know what I’m about to offer you”, he muses, fingers trailing up your exposed leg and you quickly withdraw it, stuffing it beneath the blanket.

“I know that I do not need it”, you bite back, twisting your body as far away from him as possible. He huffs out a short breath, biting the inside of his cheek, seemingly in deep thought. You peer at him through the corner of your eye, lips curling into a small grimace. — “Do you plan on living in the dark forever then?” He finally wonders, his voice a mere murmur and you frown. “I could show you, show you the light”, he hums, fingers drumming against the mattress leisurely.

You’re unable to hide the scoff you emit before turning back to face him. “You couldn’t find light if it so much as presented itself in front of you.” Beomgyu’s jaw visibly clenches at your words, his hand stilling against the bed as his gaze flickers up to meet yours, an underlying twinge of curiosity lingering behind his otherwise cold and emotionless eyes. — “No? And why’s that?”

Your lip twitches, a small grimace of pure disgust threatening to overtake your entire face as you regard him with disdain. “Because something as dark and twisted as you cannot possibly seek light. You repell it.”

The last sentence rings out in the silent air, and you watch as the intrigue in his eyes becomes put out like that of a dying fire. His expression contorted into the one you knew so well, the cruel one, the one that hurt people. “What, and you think you’re some kind of saint?” He jeers, trying to mask where your words had evidently stung. — Were you a saint? Hardly. But you didn’t hurt the people around you just because you could, just because life had treated you unfairly. That was the difference between you and Beomgyu.

“You know what I think of you?” He says, the bed squeaking as he leans forward, dangerously close. “I think you’re scared.” He drawls, eyes boring into your own with so much vigor that you almost felt pity for the anger that consumed him. How miserable he must be to live like that. — “I’m not scared.” You calmly state, shifting against the pillows as you instinctively try to create distance between the two of you. Quickly taking note of your hesitant body language, he smirks, “no? Then prove it.”

“Prove that you’re not afraid of the darkness, of my darkness.”

You remain silent for a moment, watching as he awaits your answer, your next course of action. Was this a bad idea? Probably. You had told yourself over and over that you wouldn’t let yourself get consumed by him, become tainted by his flawed hands. Yet you find yourself reaching for the blanket covering your body, pulling it from your legs as you discard it on the floor. Beomgyu follows the movement with an amused look, an almost wicked one before his smokey eyes snap back to yours.

“Fine”, you say, adjusting yourself on the bed as you let your hands fall to your sides, “show me.” The simple statement makes his face twist into a look of pure smugness and Beomgyu wastes no time in scooting closer, fingers wrapping around both of your wrists as he positions himself before you. “You have no idea what you’re asking of me”, he murmurs, his lip twitching into a sinister grin as he does. It was almost as if your obliviousness spurred him on, your naivety making his mind reel.

His breath is warm on your face as he studies you closely, from the way blood rushes beneath your cheeks to your eyelashes fluttering as you try to focus with him so close. “Have you ever kissed someone before?” He asks, the underlying curiosity in his words palpable. You try to think of any occasion in which you might’ve, but after a good moment you shake your head. “Only once…in middle school, a smell peck on the lips..” You admit, albeit a little sheepishly.

The smirk on his face only widened, exposing his sharp teeth as Beomgyu chuckled. “That doesn’t count”, he states, seemingly pleased with your answer, with your honesty, your trust. Biting your bottom lip, you swallow before nodding slowly. “I’ll show you how to.” He then mumbles, and suddenly his nose is practically grazing yours. You suck in a sharp breath, eyes widening as you watch his confident ones.

Then his lips press against your own, and they’re surprisingly soft. At first he remained still, completely unmoving and you wondered what on god's green earth he was doing. But soon he lets his eyes close, one of his hands letting go of your wrist as he cups your cheek. The small caress makes your eyes widen further and you resist the urge to pull back. Unsure of what to do with yourself, you hesitantly respond to the tentative kiss, letting your eyes flutter shut as well.

You knew that you shouldn’t be doing this, that it was wrong, taboo even. He was your step brother.. at least he was bound to be once your parents got married. Guilt roots itself in the pits of your stomach, making it twist and turn uncomfortably as you try to relax in his grip. — He doesn’t push you any further and it takes you by surprise. Instead he lets his lips linger on top of yours, and when he pulls away moments later, a small pecking sound follows it. You watch through lidded eyes as his narrowed gaze studies you, the hand on your cheek moving to your chin.

“How was it?” He wonders, as if expecting a review of some sort. Your mouth parts but you can’t seem to find the words. How could you describe the shame and the guilt? How could you ever verbalize the way his soft lips had felt on yours, such a thing was impossible. — “It felt weird..” Your hushed whisper echoes out like church bells in your ears and you remain very aware of the way his fingers reside around your chin, locking your face in place.

Beomgyu lets out a short breath, his thumb pulling your bottom lip down as his gaze catches onto your exposed teeth. “First time always feels weird”, he states and before you get to prepare yourself, he dives right back in, except this time he goes straight for the kill. — You let out a small yelp as he pries your mouth open, immediately slipping his wet tongue inside to slide against yours. You can still taste the minty toothpaste on him and the sensation of something so wet and…alive, in your mouth, makes you cringe.

You still allow him to kiss you, to push you back against the pillows as his hands roam your body, his poisonous touch spreading across your skin like wildfire. You knew that this was exactly what he wanted, to ruin something so perfectly pure, to take something from you that you could never get back. And for some reason, you let him. — Only when his hand reaches the waistband of your pajama shorts do you stop him, eyes wide as you push him back.

“Wait.”

The kiss breaks with a wet sound and a small string of saliva still connects the two of you. Struggling to find a suitable approach to the matter, you let your gaze drop to his chest, heaving a small sigh as you bite your lip. “I…I don’t know if…I mean I haven’t..” Honestly you didn’t even know what you were getting at yourself, you supposed you wanted to prolong the moment, if just a moment longer.

Beomgyu regards you with an expression you don’t think you’d ever seen on him before; a mixture of both intrigue and desire. “Are you scared?” He wonders and without thinking, you nod. His lips stretch wide, the hand on your shorts moving to your inner thigh as he gives it a light squeeze and you nearly flinch at the touch. “Good”, he huffs, his fingers venturing beneath the fabric of your pajamas as he gauges your reaction closely.

When he pulls your shorts down, you gingerly try and conceal yourself, your cheeks flushing in all shades of red as your thighs squeeze shut. “Don’t be embarrassed”, he tsk’s, his hands on your knees as he firmly spreads them. — “I’ve seen plenty of pussies before”, he merely shrugs, “yours won’t be any different.” His reassurance didn’t help ease much of your worries as you let him pry your legs open.

He starts slow, and you’re thankful; his index and middle finger gently rubbing you through the soft cotton of your panties and you resist the urge to hide your face as you squirm against him. — It wasn’t like you’d never touched yourself, because you had…you think. Like any other young teenager you’d experimented a little with your body, but as an inexperienced 15-year old, the results had proved futile. You never had the urge you suppose, you didn’t even know how it was supposed to feel like. But as Beomgyu touches you through your underwear, a strange feeling mingles alongside the guilt and shame in your stomach.

His eyes are on you, on only you, watching as you bite your bottom lip, your hands fidgeting with the bed sheets as you try to suppress the small noises bubbling in your throat. Not until his fingers find your clit, rubbing it deliberately through your panties, do you let out a small squeak. “Is…Is it supposed to feel like that?” — Beomgyu’s dark gaze shifts from your spread legs and over to your wide stare. He nods, “does it feel good?”

“Strange..” You quietly whisper, though you made no move to stop him as his index finger hooks around the waistband of your underwear. “Yeah?” He murmurs, taking his time as he slowly pulls the piece of garment from your body, letting it slide along your legs before he discards it on the floor. “You’ll get used to it”, he muses, eyes shifting to your exposed cunt as they visibly darken, “it comes with experience.”

You had no clue what to expect, what to feel, how to respond. Your whole body felt tense as his cold fingers brushed against your naked skin, inching their way up and suddenly it felt like you were under a microscope, every single part of you being presented under a stark light. Beomgyu on the other hand, seems far more at ease as he lets two of his fingers swipe across your cute folds, teasingly pushing them apart as he slowly rubs you.

It takes everything in you not to cringe at the weird and damp feeling pooling between your legs, the consistent throb of your cunt and the small cry you emit as he flicks over your clit once more. He sighs, “virgin pussies are my favorite”, his gaze shifts to his already glistening fingers, “they get wet so easily.” — You merely let out a small whimper at his words, thigh involuntarily twitching, the movement immediately catching his eye as his lips curl into a smirk.

“W-Wait!” You croak as you suddenly feel him prodding against your fluttering hole, your muscles taut as you shift on the bed. Beomgyu stops, hand resting against your core as he studies you with an indifferent expression. “W-Won’t that hurt?” It felt embarrassing to ask, but the thought of him pushing something inside of you…it scared you. — But Beomgyu only shrugs. “It might”, he drawls, his fingers resuming their work on your cunt as he repositions his index one right above the tight rim of muscle, “depends on how bad you want me.”

Want him? You didn’t know if you wanted him, it wasn’t like you liked him, right? You hated Beomgyu, you’d hated him for two years. You hated how he treated his mother, how he treated you, with such coldness and such little empathy. You hated how he made you cry, how he made you feel small and weak. You hated how he made you feel bad for grieving your own mother.

But as your gaze shifts to his face, and as you will yourself to look past the cruelty, the darkness, you can still make out the boy you met that night, the one you’d had a small and what you thought was an insignificant crush on. From the black charcoal around his eyes, to the silver jewelry bored into his eyebrow; his black hair, nearly reaching his shoulders now, and his dark eyes, his eyes that both scared and intrigued you.

You gasp when he without warning pushes his finger past your folds, immediately curling it inside of you, making your back arch off the bed in sheer surprise. Beomgyu’s attention is solely on your flushed face, watching in contentment as you writher under his touch, as you slowly lose yourself. — “O-Oh..” Is all you manage to squeak out between the ragged breaths. It felt weird and uncomfortable, but it didn't hurt, instead the fluttering sensation in your stomach only seemed to grow.

“Such a greedy pussy”, Beomgyu hums as he feels you pulsate around his finger, “sucking me in like a complete whore.” You shake your head, “I-I’m not..” The words die in your throat as he adds he slides a second digit past your tight rim, making you shriek as he stretches your cunt.

His touch felt poisonous but you couldn’t find it in you to push him off, to tell him to stop. No matter how many times you told yourself how wrong it was, you couldn’t help but slowly succumb to the darkness that was Beomgyu. Wanting, no needing, more. It was as if he’d introduced you to a most dangerous drug, and you find yourself desperately seeking another fix, a stronger one.

Your short nails have torn the bright sheets covering the mattress, and your arms tremble as you lock eyes with him. Satisfactory, that was the only way you could describe the expression painting his face. You don’t think you’d ever seen Beomgyu as anything but angry, but this…this was far from it. He looks ready to devour you whole, his brooding eyes fixating on the way your jaw slacked, your saliva coated lips parted and your eyebrows drawn together in such an endearing manner.

“Feel good?” He wonders, his brow twitching slightly when his thumb presses against your clit, eliciting a high pitched moan from you as you squirm against him. “I’ll take that as a yes”, he drawls and before you know it, his fingers are gone, making a sloppy sound as they withdraw from your cunt. You whine, hips bucking up in an attempt to seek his touch and your cheeks flare up in color. “W-Why did you stop..?” You pathetically wonder, biting the inside of your cheek, thinking that you had possibly done something wrong.

Beomgyu doesn’t say anything as he brings his sticky fingers to his face, inhaling your scent before shoving them into his mouth. Your jaw falls open in bewilderment, how could he just do something like that so…casually. — “Come on now princess, we’ve only just gotten started.”

Even more?

Your already wide eyes dilate even further, completely forgetting to be angry over the nickname he’d used as his hand dips inside the waistband of his sweats, pulling his hard cock from his briefs. It wasn’t like you were a total prude, you knew what a dick looked like, you just…had never seen one up close. — Beomgyu takes his time as he wraps his fingers around its base, languidly stroking himself as pearly beads of what you could only assume to be precum spilled from the slit on top.

The thought of having that inside of you makes your throat go dry and you shift uncomfortably on the bed. “Come on now, sis, don’t grow shy on me”, he drawls, stifling a groan as his thumb flicks over his tip. The knot in your stomach returns and you shoot him a glare, “I am not your ‘sis’”, you state through gritted teeth. But Beomgyu only chuckles before leaning forward, his face drawing in close once more. With one hand still on his cock, the other one presses flat against the mattress as he hovers in front of you.

“Lie down.”

His sharp command sends a shiver down your spine and you hesitantly comply, awkwardly sliding yourself down between his parted legs until only your head remains perched on the pillow. From this angle, Beomgyu’s long hair falls in front of his face and you resist the urge to reach up and brush it away. Instead your nervous eyes flicker to his cock as he gently taps it against your inner thigh. Your gaze lingers on the way his arousal spills onto your naked skin and suddenly a wave of realization washes over you.

“Shouldn’t we use a condom?” You whisper, biting the inside of your cheek as your attention flits back to the smug expression on his face. “Why? That takes away half the fun”, he hums, letting his tip part your puffy folds as he nudges it against your throbbing clit. “H-ah b-but isn’t it unsafe?” You whine, unable to keep from grinding against him, desperately seeking his touch.

Beomgyu lets out an exasperated sigh, reaching a hand up to run through his slightly disheveled hair. “Don’t tell me you’re scared”, he grunts, his fingers clasping around your chin, pulling your face so that it rests inches from his. Your breath is uneven and jagged as you reluctantly meet his gaze, a quiet “no” spilling from your lips. — He grins, tongue dragging across the bottom row of teeth in his mouth, “such a terrible liar.”

You don’t have time to think, much less act before the head of his cock pushed past the rim of taut muscle as he slid inside your warm cunt, almost immediately groaning at how you wrapped around him so deliciously. — “Fuck, you really are a virgin aren’t you?” He breathes, lips hovering above yours and you weakly nod. The stretch of his thick cock making you go near cross eyed as you grasped at his shoulders. It was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before and you were sure that Beomgyu enjoyed every second of it.

He had been the first, the first one to get his hands on you, to spew his poison all over your pure and innocent virgin body, and he would make sure to do so thoroughly. His mouth is on your neck, tongue licking at your skin and you cringe away from the action but he doesn’t falter, lips immediately chasing yours as he keeps you in place. The kiss is rougher than the previous, hungry and disoriented as Beomgyu messily jerks his hips against yours. Your nails dig into the apex of his shoulders and his name echoes through in the pristine bedroom as you moan out in pleasure.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum right away if you keep that up”, he grunts, fingers digging into your cheeks as he withdraws from your lips. Your eyes widen as you feebly try and shake your head, dreading for him to finish inside. But he doesn’t, instead he redirects his focus to your neck, resuming what he’d been doing as his tongue darts out to swipe across its juncture. You squeal when his teeth graze your skin, the hands on his shoulders moving to his dark hair.

The marks he left on your untouched skin were bound to linger for at least a couple of days, he made sure of that. Reveling in the fact that you’d let him in, let him close, allowed him to take something so precious, something that you had been clinging on to for so long. He would have you, all of you, even if only once, he would be sure to leave an impression.

And you know that you should feel ashamed, feel guilty, dirty even. But something feels different, something about him, about Beomgyu. It’s not the Beomgyu you loathed, the Beomgyu who’d made you cry, the Beomgyu who made you feel worthless. — None of the anger, the hatred, the fire; none of that lingered right now. And had it not been for his sharp teeth on your skin and his rough pace as his cock rammed into your throbbing cunt, the moment might’ve even been tender.

There’s an unfamiliar feeling building in the pits of your stomach and it had long since overridden the previous shame and guilt. Unsure of what to make of it, you desperately tug on Beomgyu’s hair, eventually making his head raise from your chest with a small frown, the liner around his eyes even more smudged than usual now. — “I’m…I…” your face turns beet red as you stumble over your words, not knowing how to express yourself.

He licks his already wet lips, his pace momentarily slowing and you whimper at the discomfort soaring through your body. “You close?” He asks, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your sweaty forehead. You open your mouth only to close it again, nodding sheepishly as your hands twist in his hair. Beomgyu groans as he lets his fingers slide down your stomach, reaching where your bodies connected like one, middle finger rubbing your clit menacingly as he watches you arch against him with a broken moan.

Your first ever orgasm felt out of this world, your cunt clenching around his cock with such vigor that you thought you might cry, a string of incoherent and high pitched whines ripping from your throat as you pull Beomgyu close, and for the first time, you’re the one initiating the kiss as you slam your lips on his. — He groans into your mouth, letting you slide your tongue against his, albeit a little awkwardly as you had no clue of what you were doing.

Finally, as your climax comes to an end, you find yourself relaxing against the mattress, the fingers in his hair loosening their grip as you allow yourself to kiss him slowly. — “F-Fuck princess”, he grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before letting go. You respond by eagerly raising your hips to meet his, wincing at how sensitive you felt as his cock twitched inside of you. “Fuck, fuck, wait”, he breaths, tearing himself from you as he swiftly pulls out with a small hiss.

In your euphoric state, your eyes drift to his hand wrapped around his shaft, quickly jerking himself off as his gaze fixates on your wet cunt. Then he notices you, his lips curling into a wicked grin as he reaches for your wrist, “come here”, he urges as he guides the flat of your hand to wrap around his cock. — Blinking, your attention flits between his expectant face and his heavy dick in your grasp as you contemplate your next move. It wasn’t like you’d ever done something like this before but it looked easy enough when he was doing it.

With determination you begin to carefully stroke him, biting the inside of your cheek at the squelching sound erupting as his arousal smeared across your fingers. Beomgyu’s hips jerk forward and your movements stutter. — “H-ah, fucking hell d-don’t stop”, he groans, his jaw slacked as his eyes tightly squeezed shut. A quiet “sorry” slips from your lips and your pace returns as you work to get him off.

“F-Fuck go a bit faster, yeah?” He mutters, his hand joining in on top of yours as he ups the intensity. Merely following his command, you grip him tighter, drawing a strained moan from him as your fingers drag across his tip. — It made you feel oddly powerful, seeing him like this, his otherwise indifferent face completely flushed, and instead of presenting himself with a mean scowl, he looked to be in complete bliss as he let his head fall back.

A final twitch of his causes hot liquid to spurt from his throbbing cock, the white substance coating both your hand and lower abdomen. He heaves a sigh and you feel him slowly go soft in your hand before you pull it away. Beomgyu runs his fingers through his hair, parting it before letting his arm drop back down, his gaze landing on the mess on your stomach. He tsk’s spreading the sticky fluid across your skin. “What would your daddy think if he saw you like this, hm?” He murmurs, licking his lips before bringing his cum-coated fingers to your face.

You shake your head, without the waves of pleasure sparking through you, the shame and the guilt suddenly crawled right back. “I- I don’t want to talk about him..” You whine, trying to force the image of your father out of your mind. — “His beautiful princess, completely ruined by something so…what did you say I was? Dark?”

Without warning he pushes his wet fingers inside your mouth, making you cringe at the salty taste of him. “I bet your daddy would hate you forever”, Beomgyu finally states, watching as you frown, lips closing around the digits in your mouth. — And when he finally withdraws them, you splutter, “my father doesn’t hate me, but yours seem to do.”

Beomgyu’s jaw twitches, his lips curling up into a small scowl and the desire previously filling the air slowly simmers out. You knew that he wanted you to feel just as miserable as he did. But you wouldn’t let him, you wouldn’t let him get to you like that. — Half expecting an insult thrown your way, you’re surprised when he merely tucks himself back into his sweats, rising from the bed as he regards you with dark eyes. “Fine, keep living with such fantasies and we’ll see just how long it takes for them to get crushed.”

Without as much as another word, he leaves your room, the door slamming shut behind him as the small house falls under an eerie silence once more.

⸝⸝

Your parents came home two days later, and though you wanted to say that things had changed between you and Beomgyu after your…night together, it was safe to say that they hadn’t. At least not on his part. You on the other hand, couldn’t get the feeling of his hands off of your body, it was like he’d permanently imprinted himself on your skin. It feels disgusting, and you had spent three hours in the shower the morning after, vigorously trying to scrub the venom from your system. But it never worked, his touch lingered like that of a tattoo, forever sealed onto you. You could never take back what had happened that night.

For some reason, a small part of you doesn’t want to.

Beomgyu avoided you, and when he wasn’t avoiding you he was glaring. His dark and piercing eyes followed your every move whenever you were in his field of vision. But there was something else too, a sense of superiority. — He knew that you were constantly dealing with the consequences of that night, he could see the way your mind haunted you with the memories, and he took pride in watching the shame and the guilt practically eat you alive. — He was on top of the world and you were scrambling to even get by.

So one could easily imagine your surprise when one evening, you found him in a state you never thought you’d ever get to witness.

It was late, but your small family had yet to eat dinner, and you watched as Ms Choi darted across the kitchen, in full with preparing your meal. You helped her set the table as you laughed at a couple of your dad’s terrible and overused jokes. It had taken a whole of three days for you to be able to look him in the eye after he’d come home, and you still felt terrible whenever you caught him and Ms Choi sharing a kiss; knowing that one tiny slip of your lips could manage to ruin something so perfect.

You trusted that Beomgyu wouldn’t utter as much as a single breath about what had transpired that night, but you still startled when his mother taps your shoulder, whipping around as you come face to face with her. — “Dear, do you mind fetching Beomgyu, dinner’s almost ready”, she smiled, that warm and comforting smile she so often gave her son, only to receive a mere huff in return. You nod, slowly making your way out of the kitchen as you head for the hallway, dreading having to speak to him, much less in private.

The steps creak under your weight as you drag yourself up the stairs, drawing out the moment for as long as possible before you inevitably reach his door. With a small sigh, you knock. There’s no music coming from the other side and you frown, what’s up with him? — Another knock, but nothing. You bite the inside of your cheek, a wave of frustration crashing over you at the thought of having to call out for him.

“Beomgyu?”

A third knock. You wait for at least a minute but there’s nothing, just silence. Perhaps he’d fallen asleep, still, you should wake him and let him know that dinner was ready, Ms Choi had asked you after all. — Your hand is near trembling as you grasp the handle, twisting it before pushing the door open. Slowly adjusting to the darkness of his room, you peer inside. But to your surprise, he wasn’t there.

Your footsteps make a thumping sound as you hurry down the stairs. If he wasn’t in his room then…Your gaze flickers toward the dining room and kitchen before settling on the front door. “Did he mention anything about going out?” You call out for Ms Choi and she soon appears in the doorway, a bowl of salad in her hands. “No, is he not in his room?” She wonders, her face quickly falling.

Noting her worried expression you quickly shake your head as you try and reassure her. “I’m sure he just went for a walk, I’ll go check.” — Your dad’s girlfriend gives a small nod as her gaze, too, flickers toward the door. “Alright..”

⸝⸝

The cool night air hits your face and you mutter a few curses under your breath, scolding yourself for offering to do something like that when the last thing you wanted was to be out in this cold. — As you walk down the graveled path you let out a tired groan, what were you even thinking coming out here? It wasn’t like he was just going to magically appear or something. Fucking asshole, had the nerve to leave without a word and now you had to go looking for him.

But as you push the small fence gate open and turn out and onto the street, a familiar scene flashes before your eyes. Nostalgia fills your every fiber as your eyes fall on Beomgyu’s figure, perched on the sidewalk as he hugs his knees to his chest, just like he had that night, that night two years ago. — But something was different. That night, the one where you had learned to hate him, it had been a warm night, and Beomgyu had been burning with rage. Today, the air is much colder, and Beomgyu is no longer on fire, instead he’s shivering, his whole body quivering as small sobs escape his soft lips.

You freeze at the sight, breath catching in your throat as you regard his almost pathetic frame, curling in on itself as his fingers dig into the flesh of his calves. Part of you wants to leave him there, perhaps even make fun of him, it was most tempting to finally get back at him for the way he’d ruined you. — But you weren’t Beomgyu. And you wouldn’t do that.

Instead you find yourself slowly approaching, and just like that night two years ago, you slide down next to him on the cold pavement. He doesn’t seem to register that you’re there, and you sit in silence for a brief moment before addressing him. — “Beomgyu?” — His head jerks at the quiet whisper of his name, his usually narrowed eyes wide in shock as they flicker over to you. His cheeks are wet, stained with his tears and the liner around his eyes had run down his face in messy streaks. A few strands of hair stick to his forehead and his lip trembles as he sucks in a sharp breath.

“Leave me the fuck alone.” He croaks, but his voice comes out weak and raspy. His hands wipe at his face, but it only spreads the mess already there even further and he lets out a frustrated groan. — You don’t say anything, because last time you tried to comfort him you only ended up getting hurt. Instead your gaze flits to his discarded phone between the two of you. The screen was broken, likely from him smashing it on the asphalt beneath. You frown as it suddenly comes to life, vibrating against the hard ground. The bright screen illuminates the dim street and your eyes land on the caller-ID.

“Dad.”

Beomgyu doesn’t make a move to answer, merely turning his head away as he continues to sob into his arms. “Don’t”, he mutters as he sees you reaching for the device, “he’s drunk.” — You purse your lips but your fingers still clasp around the phone, your thumb swiping to decline the call. Upon being presented with his lockscreen, you can make out at least another fifteen missed ones. Your chest churns at the scene, for whatever reason, you do not know. The bright light vanishes as you power off his phone completely, tossing it to the side as you stretch your legs out in front of you on the pavement.

It takes him about a minute to lift his head from his arms and his breath is still uneven as he speaks. “What does he want?” — Biting your lip, you gaze ahead, tracing the outlines of each car parked down the street, memorizing their plate numbers. You didn’t know how to answer his question, so you remained silent. Beomgyu shuffles next to you, mimicking your movement of unfolding his legs. “I bet he wants money..” He then adds in a snarky tone, wiping his face once more as he snivels, “money to sponsor his fucking addiction.”

You throw a quick glance in the direction of his discarded phone. “Why do you still have his number?” It was obvious that he didn’t like his father, so why let him bother him like that. Beomgyu shakes his head solemnly, his fingers twisting against one another as he opens his mouth only to close it again. “Wouldn’t it be better to block him?” — “I can’t.” He suddenly exclaims, turning to you with a small frown.

Why not? Why let something like that plague you, why not just cut it off, why not just let go?

It was then you realized that perhaps you and Beomgyu shared a lot more than you’d initially wanted to admit.. Your eyes drop to the bracelet around your wrist, the silver glinting under the moon. — When your attention returns to him, you find him already watching you, his gaze following yours as it resided by the jewelry on your arm. You think he might make another comment about it, but he doesn’t, instead he merely sighs as he runs a hand through his hair.

“I think..” You begin, your voice a quiet whisper as you stare past him, eyes drifting off into the distance as you let the words roll off your tongue. “I think you’re stuck on what could’ve been rather than what you have.” Beomgyu doesn’t say anything, his gaze mindlessly dropping to his hands in front of him as he bites the inside of his cheek. “What I have”, he mutters with a small frown, clearly not intended for you to hear but you did.

“You have your mom.”

He scoffs, already anticipating your next self-victimizing rant about how yours was dead. “My mom is-”

“A wonderful person.” Your statement catches him off guard and his attention shifts back to your face as he studies you with a look of wariness. “And you would see that if you spared her more than a glare”, you continue as you watch his skeptical expression. — You had never felt anything besides hatred for Beomgyu, and you had been so blinded by your rage that in a way, you had become almost exactly like him. But as you finally take a step back to view him completely, his disheveled frame, his slumped shoulders and runny makeup — pity washes over you, the same pity you had felt on that night two years ago; the night everything went wrong.

“Stop holding her accountable for his mistakes.”

You can see the twitch of his face at your words, as if he wanted to refuse them, to lash out on you, but he didn’t. Instead he looks to you with the most sorrowful look you’d ever witnessed on him. — “How do I do that?” He wonders, his voice is thick, laced with his previous tears. Biting your tongue, you hold back from saying what you thought he wasn’t ready to hear but Beomgyu clings to you, his hands wrapping around the fabric of your shirt, his grip near trembling.

“I miss my mom.” He whispers, his voice breaking as a lonesome droplet falls down his cheek, slicing through the dark smear of charcoal on his face. Your jaw falls open, stunned by the way his resolve so suddenly crumbled. And as you heard the words leave his lips, “i miss my mom”, you could practically feel every single one of his emotions as they washed over him in thunderous waves. — You missed your mom too, you missed her terribly.

He hiccups, his tears creating a damp spot on the shoulder of your shirt. “H-How do I get her back..?” The question comes out muffled as he grips you tightly. “Please…I want my mom back.” — Your eyes sting and you feel yourself slowly losing your composure as you draw in a ragged breath. With a small push of your hands, you manage to create some distance between the two of you, enough to where you could see his wet face, his glossy eyes and swollen lips.

“You have to let him go.”

You reach for his phone, powering it back on. Beomgyu looks hesitant as he wipes his eyes, exhaling shakily when you extend the device to him. “The longer you let him ruin you the more you and those around you will suffer.” — With wobbly fingers he grasps his phone, slowly finding his dad’s contact info. He wavers, thumb hovering above the block button as he bites his bottom lip.

You don’t know why you felt the need to help him, why you felt like you had to comfort him, reassure him. — “You’ve said it yourself haven’t you? Some people don’t deserve children.” His gaze flickers up to meet yours at the statement, a glimmer of recognition in his eyes. “Don’t let him have that privilege”, you say as you let your hand rest on top of his.

Beomgyu slowly nods, reluctantly pressing the dreadful button as he erases his father from his life. He purses his lips, breathing out through his nose as he stares at the screen for a minute, as if contemplating his next move. — “He’s gone.” He finally states, the frown on his face only deepening as he swallowed thickly.

“Sometimes it’s better that way”, you mumble, letting go of his hand as you lean back, your gaze dropping to the bracelet around your wrist.

Your heart pounds loudly in your chest, blood rushing through your body as you reach for the small lock, carefully unclasping the piece of sacred jewelry. Beomgyu and you…You weren’t so different, you think. And if he could do something, something like that, then who says you couldn’t?

His eyes are on you, watching intently as you with shaky hands let the bracelet fall from your skin, feeling oddly empty without it. — It feels light in your hand, and you wondered how something so significant could weigh so little. It made it easier to let go. — Beomgyu lets you grab his wrist, the frown on his face creasing further when you tie the silver around him.

“Now she’s gone too.”

You give him a small smile, meeting his wide eyes as they shift from the bracelet around his wrist and your relieved expression.

It’s without thinking that you lean in, softly pressing your lips against his in a small kiss. But this time you didn’t feel guilty, nor did you feel dirty or ashamed. Instead it felt nice, it felt like closure. Letting your eyes flutter closed, feeling his warm and damp skin against your own, a stark contrast to the cold night surrounding you. Beomgyu lets you kiss him without protest and you feel the faint caress of fingers to your cheek.

When you pull away he chases after you, only to be stopped by the palm of your hand on his chest as you shake your head. “It’s not like that. You know it too.” Your soft whisper makes his jaw clench, his fingers dropping from your face as they curl into fists. Then he nods, the corner of his lips pulling upwards, “yeah.”

Gingerly rising to your feet, you dust some off the dirt from your jeans before your attention returns to him, still perched on the sidewalk. — Your outstretched hand is met by the raise of his eyebrow and you roll your eyes, “come on, I think there’s someone who would like to talk to you.” Beomgyu frowns but takes your hand nonetheless as he lets you pull him up.

You walk like that, hand in hand, and it feels nice. Your heart sinks a little at the thought that it could’ve been like this from the start, had things worked out differently. But as you turn to walk through the small fence gate, and your eyes fall on Ms Choi, anxiously waiting by the front door, you find yourself smiling. And instead of grieving what you could’ve had, you would focus on what you did have.

Beomgyu audibly swallows next to you as his gaze surveys his mother, and as Ms Choi notices the two of you approaching, her face lights up. — With a final squeeze of his hand, you let him go. It was satisfactory in itself to see him walk up to his mom, letting her wrap her arms around him for the first time in what you could only guess to be years. But they both made it look so natural as they fell into each other’s embrace. And it only confirmed what you had known for so long.

That Beomgyu was and had always been, a mommy’s boy.

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norrizzandpia · 1 year ago

Note

okay so you know how oscar sleeps like anywhere, can we have some thing about how they claim they are friends but theres all these photos that lando has (or anyone really) of them two sleeping in the most random places and lando posts them as a joke (sorry if it doesnt make sense!!)

This request is 💋

Sleeping Buddies or Dating? (OP81)

Summary: Oscar and Y/n love to sleep next to each other. They don’t love each other. That’s it.

Warnings: Lando and the other drivers being menaces, language

y/nnn this is payback for making me think you have pics of me and oscar asleep together

Comments:

landonorris I LITERALLY DO???? YOUVE STARTED A WAR

- oscarpiastri lando….

- Mclarensgirly LEAK THEM LANDO

- ln4op81 plz. my bday is in a few days. that would be the best bday present.

- landonorris happy bday then

landonorris ALSO I LOOK SO FUCKING GOOD IN THIS IDK WHAT TF YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING

- y/nnn you actually don’t stop being delulu

- oscarpiastri YOURE SPURRING HIM ON

—

landonorris this is for not shutting up 🫶🏻

Comments:

oscarpiastri THIS MANY????? EXIST??????

- landonorris yes.

- danielricciardo yes.

- logansargeant yes.

- alexalbon yes.

- charlesleclerc yes.

- y/nnn oh!

y/nnn were you silent or silenced?

ln4andop81 YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME. AND THEY ARE STILL NOT TOGETHER??????

- mclarensgirly in my heart they are 😥

F1gossip they have to be dating no way you fall asleep like that in the second pic and are just friends

- f1fan2023 idk man they’ve done some questionable things in the past and stayed friends

- papayafan481 TRUEEEE like that one time Oscar said in an interview he spends nights at y/n’s all the time and they “get up to some fun” BROS GOTTA KNOWN WHAT THAT MEANS

- mclarennnnn ALSO when he won his first podium and ran up to her and KISSED HER CHEEK???? THATS THE BIGGEST MYSTERY OF F1 BC HE WAS SO CLOSE TO HER FUCKING LIPS. YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME HE DIDNT KISS THE SIDE OF HER MOUTH AND REALIZED HE WAS ON LIVE TV SO GASLIT EVERYONE INTO THINKING HE KISSED HER CHEEK. HE KISSED HER. HE DID.

- f1fan2023 that moment is fs my roman empire. i think abt the logistics of that moment every day

—

logansargeant thought I’d hop on the train ;)

Comments:

y/nnn BRO I DIDNT DO SHIT TO YOU

- logansargeant i am SICK AND TIRED of hiding

- mclarensgirly sorry… HIDING WHAT????

- mclarennnnn HE KISSED HER ON LIVE TV.

oscarpiastri you got the audacity from where?

- logansargeant you.

- f1fan81 BYEEEEEE

- mclarensgirly LIGHT HIM UP AMERICAN BOY

- ln4andop81 WTF IS A KILOMETERRRRR??????

mclaren are we sensing a soft launch?

- oscarpiastri ADMIN.

- y/nnn UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- mclarensgirly WHAT.

- ln4andop81 MY MANIFESTATIONS ARE COMING TRUE OMFG

- f1fan2023 i can die happy now (i am going to live out the rest of my days living for their relationship)

- landonorris oh shit.

—

oscarpiastri yes, i did kiss her on live tv and tried to gaslight everyone into thinking i kissed her cheek (it worked on all you bitches don’t lie)

Comments:

F1fan2023 WE WON YALL

mclarennnnn I WAS FUCKING RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS FUCKING RIGHT HOLY SHIT

- oscarpiastri your comments were concerning me ngl

- y/nnn yea he thought you were going to expose us

landonorris this hard launch took way too fucking long omg

- y/nnn shut tf up bitch

mclaren we can die happily now 🥹

- mclarensgirly mclarens just like us fr

- oscarpiastri y/n and i no longer wish you death after you outed us

- mclaren NO LONGER?????? YOU DID AT ONE POINT???????

- y/nnn shhh, admin. “no longer”, that’s what you need to pay attention to

—

y/nnn he’s mine now bitches 👹

Comments:

oscarpiastri idk what your obsession is with these two pics

- y/nnn YOURE FUCKING HOT LEAVE ME ALONE

landonorris happy for you ig

- y/nnn I know the heartbreak must be painful

mclaren we would like to take the credit for dressing Oscar in the second pic

- y/nnn you deserve the world for putting him in that jacket.

mclarensgirly im rlly kicking and screaming tho

F1fan2023 i know i said i would die happy bc of this news but suddenly i hate the fact this man is off the market

- landonorris well that sucks bc pastry is sickeningly in love

2K notes · View notes

neverhangd · 1 month ago

Text

Nothing while she still breathes—Christ alive, what can she give him dead and cold? Her throat, her heart? Those are both his, on offer at his leisure. Like as not he’s being morbid again, circling back as he does so strangely often to cannibalism. A part of Anne truly wonders if he plans on eating some part of her postmortem. (What would he pick, if he does? The heart and throat are such obvious answers, but what does that leave that he would want if not them? The brain? The eyes?)

Silva can bullshit somebody else. The problem in becoming an expert in Anne, especially up close, is that it affords her equal opportunity to become an expert in her observer. Silva’s no different. Harder to pinpoint than the others she’s met, maybe, but no harder to read when she puts her mind to him and focuses. The ghost of a smile on his lips, the…something in his eyes, gone too quick for Anne to parse through, the grip he keeps on his thigh, the sharp stare she’s gotten used to not being able to see past—he might not like to hear it, but he needs. Something Anne only knows to recognize because it stares back at her every time she meets her reflection. She’s never known how to care for it in herself, can hardly guess how she might care for it in somebody else (never mind in him, so much more than anyone else she’s ever known), but when the weight of expectation settles back down upon her, she does what she’s always done: the first thing to come to mind.

Which in this case is to strip off her shirt (often the answer), close the distance between them (sometimes the answer), and pour herself into a kiss (seldom the answer). She holds the side of his face with one hand and reaches the other down between them, moving his hand aside so she can next pour herself into his lap. She isn’t full-sure what she’s doing anymore, only that the roll of her tongue against his is something she’s been craving for a while. (That’s what she’d pick off him, she decides, his tongue, an errant thought no sooner had than lost.)

Her thighs bracket his on either side but she doesn’t settle her weight down. Anne’s poker face has long since fallen away, leaving nothing there but naked yearning, desire that came not with heavy-lidded eyes and salacious smiles but with an empty stomach and a starved expression. Welcome to try, is she? How welcome? She lifts his captive hand to her chest, hardly daring to breathe.

—Right. Except that she probably needs to talk. Anne pulls away and pulls her thoughts together, pressing a kiss to his jaw, then high on his cheek towards his ear, before gently biting the ear itself. Call it a hunch. A toe dipped in the water to test it.

“Don’t maim me. Try not to kill me. And anything I can give ye is yers.”

@neverhangd said : ❝ You need relief. I can give you that. ❞ to Raoul

HE NEEDS NOTHING MORE THAN to see the world brought to its knees ; to lick the blood from the wounds on the necks of those who wronged him bleeding out from his own hands. What he needs is simple, what he deserves is a different sea beast entirely. Short nails dig into the flesh of his own thigh as he watches her not at all unlike the way a hawk watches its prey. Am I not repulsive to you ? Lingering smile tugs at the corners of a misshapen mouth, demands not to be seen but shows the bleeding true colours of the slightest spark of joy regardless. Bested at his own game !

❝ I need nothing you can give while you still breathe, cariña. ❞ Wrong. He needs everything she can offer ⎯⎯⎯⎯ sometimes more even. It crosses his mind ; flashes through his eyes like a plea for mercy shown before the snap of the noose. Please. As quick as it came, it left too. Fitting, for all of him to be a ghost now. ❝ But you are welcome to try. ❞

#hatigave #✗ (hg) raoul #i am a menace i cannot be stopped #also i…am sorry about putting s.pice in your soft #i can reel it in if you like!#✗ spicy #✗ queue

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loverslodge · 1 month ago

Text

love to cats

summery: your cat is having an affair and the only way to resolve it was try and befriend the owner of the other cat

pairing: beefy!bucky x reader

warning: fluff, floof, smut,

A/N: in my beefy!bucky era

Charcoal had disappeared again. You knew that. You hated that. You worry about him. You found Charcoal when he was buried deep in the snow at the back of your office building. It was his black fur and smallest mews that alerted you. You dug him up and rushed him to the vet. He had clung on to you so much that you couldn't help but take him home. You didn't plan on having a cat but it was too late to go back. You were the chosen one. The vet helped you choose food for Charcoal and slowly, you bought him everything he could ever want.

But his escape changed your idea. This is the sixth time he had run away in a month and he has been doing this for three months. So you were at your limit. You felt like a lacking mother. Honestly, you had become just as clingy to him as he was to you. Codependent is what you called each other but your friends called it separation anxiety. You thought you were not Charcoal enough love and that's why he ran away.

It was a bright and sunny day when this happened so it was going to be a somewhat easy task for you to find that little menace. You start by walking down the stairs and calling out its name. You reach the third floor and it is already evening. You've asked everyone in the building if they have seen your cat but nothing came up. Now you're on the third floor knocking the only door that is left. You hear a mew from behind the door and you jump.

“Charcoal? Honey? Are you in there?” You knock again. “Excuse me? Please open the door. I think my cat is in there.” But you hear zero movement. “Hey! Whoever you are. Give me my cat back. I can hear him in your apartment! Charcoal, I will get you out of there. I promise. Noone will hurt you.” You bang on the door.

“Hey! Who are you? Why are you banging on my door?” You hear an angry voice from across the hall. You turn to see a tall man walking towards you with scowl on his face. “Move away lady, I'm not interested.”

You look at him agape. How dare this kidnapper assume that you would even- ugh! You felt like smacking him. “You kidnapped my cat. How dare you accuse me of whatever that was. I am here for my cat. Give him back.”

“Kidnapped your cat? Please. I do not need a mangy two bit thug as a cat. I have my own and she is perfect.” He unlocks his door and before you could peer in, he blocks it with his large, beefy body.

“How dare you! My cat is not mangy. How would you know what my cat looks like? He is a child and not a thug. Now let me in. I swear I heard him mew. I know he's in there, mister and you cannot stop me.” You try to push your way in his house but he wouldn't budge. You give him a stink eye.

“Charcoal! Mommy is here! Come to me, baby. Let's go home. I am here to rescue you from this two bit thug.” You point at the beefy man. You see a ball of fur behind him and you immediately make a jump for it. The beefy man’s step falters and you stumble into his living room.

“What the hell is wrong with you, woman? You can't just attack someone and enter someone's apartment. That is breaking and entering. I can get you arrested for this.” The beefy man stands in front of you.

“And I can have you arrested for kidnapping my cat. But you don't see me doing that, do you? Youre lucky I'm not using a fire escape on your apartment.” You start walking around the apartment calling for Charcoal.

“Woman, get out!” He raises his tone but not a lot to raise an alarm.

“Shut up! I can't hear my cat over you.” You call out to Charcoal again and this time you hear the familiar mew again. You run in that direction and the man runs after you.

You open the door to the bedroom and see a sight never seen before. Charcoal was wrapped under another cat and they were snuggling! You run towards them and very slowly gather a sleepy Charcoal in your arms.

“Wow! And you say you didn't kidnap my cat. What was this then?” You poke your finger on his chest.

“This little thug has had his eyes on my Alpine for a very long time. Take your thug and leave. I don't want my Alpine anywhere near someone who doesn't know boundaries.” He walks closer to you. Your faces were inches apart.

“Fine by me! I also don't want my cat anywhere near you or your cat who has been driving him out of his safe space. Do not ever kidnap my cat again.” You start walking out the door.

“For the last time, I did not kidnap it!” Before he could finish, you slam his front door shut and walk upstairs with Charcoal in your arms.

……………………….

You were already working remotely but you very often went to your office to just catch up on the environment. But now, after the stunt pulled by Charcoal, you stayed home everyday. You kept him near you. He would often go to the windows and mew wistfully. You sigh. You saw how cuddled up he was with the white cat. Alpine. That was her name. You felt like you were Romeo's mother, trying to keep him away from his juliet. Or was it the other way around?

You groan as you stand in front of the beefy man’s apartment again. You knock on the dorr. You had Charcoal in your arms. You wanted Charcoal happy and the only way that was was to take him to Alpine. You waited. You heard shuffling behind the door. The door opened to the shirtless beefy man looking disheveled.

“Ah! The crazy cat lady. What do you want? I don't have your cat. Maybe it went to lick some other-” You pushed past him in the house and lte Charcoal go. He ran immediately to Alpine and they cuddled into each other, purring, maybe making promises of never letting go.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You can't just walk in someone's house and let your cat out on their cat. Take him and leave. Alpine and I do not tolerate thugs like you and your cat.” He tried to catch Alpine but she ran in the room with Charcoal in the tow.

“Do you hate romance?” You asked, sitting down on his sofa.

“What? Hey! Get up. Out of the house.” He sounded pissed.

“I'm Y/N Y/L/N, by the way. That's my cat, Charcoal. I think he's in love with your cat and I could not stand him wistfully sighing every now and then. I have work too, you know.” You extend your hand as a friendly gesture with a smile.

You eyed you suspiciously. He tilted his head to the side and looked at your hand and then you. His eyes raked over your body but not in a creepy way. He was analyzing? He saw you were in your lounge wear, shorts and loose t-shirt. You looked relatively harmless. Hell! He looked more harmful than you. His eyes made their way to your face and his heart skipped a beat. Your smile, even though polite, lightened up your face. You were pretty. You were pretty when you first met him but he didn't have time to look at you properly. Now that he saw you, you looked soft.

He grabbed your hand to shake. “I'm Bucky Barnes. That's my cat, Alpine. I guess she is in love with a hooligan. She has been pawing at the windows. Just so you know, your cat is still a thug. Entering someone else's house without asking.”

You shrug. “People do crazy things for love, why not animals? Plus, I was not letting my child be heartbroken just because I don't like the father of his girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? Did that thug tell you that? He is seducing her right now! Just so you know, your son is not good enough for my daughter.” Bucky sits beside you. You let your eyes all over his body. He was so beefy. You could see yourself be enveloped in his arms and feel them slide slowly down your body and his fingers in your-

“Yeah well, your daughter chose my son so get over it.” You gulped and looked away, mentally hitting your head.

You stayed at his place for over an hour. Both of you busied yourselves on your phones. You saw Charcoal some out of the room with Alpine and they both snuggled next to you.

“Hey Charcoal. Did you bring Alpine to meet me?” You stroked his head and turned to Alpine. “Hey Alpine! I am Charcoal’s mommy. It is nice to meet you.” You approach Alpine with caution and she immediately snuggles into you. You let out a small laugh and stroke her. Both your hands over the cats, you loved seeing them together. You understood why Charcoal was obsessed with Alpine. She was so welcoming, soft and absolutely adorable.

Bucky had left for the bathroom and when he came back, he saw both the cats purring on your lap. He saw his Alpine all snuggled into you like it did him and for some reason, his chest swole. Alpine had always been wary of strangers. She didn't even let his friends touch him the way she let you. Alpine had trust issues and so Bucky never forced her into a situation she didn't want to be in. they had an understanding. But now, without any prompting when Alpine was cuddled to you, Bucky questioned his judgment about you. Maybe you were a nice person. Maybe your cat isn't really a thug. He wanted to believe Alpine but he was human after all, how much was he going to trust someone else based on a cat?

Bucky cleared his throat and re-entered the room. The cats looked at him. Alpine purred, making an inviting swish with her tail which Bucky ignored. “So, are you done or do you have to stay longer?” He asked you gruffly.

“Fine, fine. I am leaving. Don't get your boxers twisted. Well back next week, right Charcoal? Woulndt want the girlfriend to be lonely, would you?” You scratched Charcoal and Alpine behind their ears and they prinned. “Uh, can you please move Alpine? She, uh, she's too cuddled up.”

Bucky carefully walked to you and took Alpine in his arms. His fingers brushed against the skin of your thighs and tingles shot up to both of you. You pocketed your phone and keys and cradled Charcoal home, without looking back.

That night, you had stayed up till late thinking about his fingers touching you. You thought about his calloused hand shaking yours and his rough fingers sliding across your thighs. You were too tuckered out to bring out your vibrator so you just buried yourself in your comforter and dreamt of his fingers all over you.

………………………..

It had been around six months. You and Bucky had gotten into a routine. Sometimes Bucky would even leave Alpine with you for a few days if he had to go out for work and same went for you. Bucky was still skeptical about Charcoal being near Alpine but he adored Alpine too much to say no to her. Many times you both have had dinner together. The day your cats were to meet, you would know that the entire day was going to be just the two of you. Both of your cats had been wary of other people and so it was nice to see them get comfort in each other and the two of you.

Charcoal had warmed up to Bucky very fast but it was Bucky who took his time. Charcoal loved to sit on Bucky’s lap. He would often tangle himself on Bucky’s legs when he was standing. One day, after a bit of encouragement, you asked Bucky to pick Charcoal up. The way he purred in Bucky’s arms melted him but he tried not to show.

You would cook together too. He was at your place a lot because you, being a cat mom, had bought a lot of toys for Charcoal and Alpine. You had also bought a large bed for both cats to cuddle on. Bucky felt cozy at your place, not that he would admit it. He was a better cook than you so he would be by the stove while you chopped up things for him. Maybe that's where all the tension started. You brush against Bucky and you lean closer to him when he cooks. It was all accidental but that didn't stop Bucky from eyeing you differently.

It felt like Bucky practically lived at your place. Without being told, some of his clothes made their way in your closet. Not for some romantic reason, but for the fact that whenever he would have to take care of Charcoal, he would stayover with Alpine. You weren't annoyed about it. You in fact made more space for his stuff. His own apartment started to feel empty, literally. Even his favorite mug rested on your kitchen shelf.

Bucky stood here, in his shower, remembering your hand that accidentally brushed against his crotch. You were trying to take the ladle off his hand to pour in the bowls and none of them had realized that it was so close to him. His hand reaches for his cock and starts stroking it. Your smile, your laugh, your touch makes him stroke even harder. Then his mind goes to that one day that made him hard for you for the first time ever. You were working hunched over your laptop while Bucky was gathering the cat toys that were spread around. You stretched and your crop rose to show that you weren't wearing any bra and that showed your half boobs. You moaned out loud as your bones cracked and Bucky was just mesmerized. You went back to your work without acknowledging the fact that Bucky saw you but he did. Now, the shower was giving him the solace that he needed. He reached his high as he pictured you moaning under him. He felt a release and he went back to his room after drying himself off.

He looked at Alpine’s bed which was empty. More than half of his apartment is empty. He wakes up and the first thing he does is go to your apartment to make coffee because he has nothing at his place anymore. He puts on a remaining t-shirt from his wardrobe and makes his way to your apartment. He could hear the meows of the cats but you were nowhere to be seen. It was early in the morning after all. He saw Charcoal wake up and unwrap himself from Alpine, walking to the water bowl you filled for them. Charcoal looks at him and Bucky gives him a nod.

Just as Bucky finished making his coffee, he heard a loud moan coming from your room. He tried not to react but then he heard something shatter and ran to your room. He saw glass near your bed and you were almost going to step on it. Bucky dove and grabbed you by the waist, tugging you back in bed. He was half on top of you, his arms wrapped around your waist and you were holding him by his neck due to sudden impact.

“Are you okay? Do not get down from this side. I will clean up here.” Bucky checked your hands and legs for any injury. His hands slowly caressed your skin. His hand roamed over to your calf, knees, thighs and arms.

“Mhmm.” You had no capacity to talk. You were so turned on that if you opened your mouth, a moan would have left. Your arms from around Bucky’s neck had fallen and now you were cupping his face, your thumbs caressing his cheeks.

Before he could lean in, the moment was broken by your phone. You scramble under him and grab the phone. Your boss had just texted that because of ongoing fumigation at the office, everybody would be working from home for at least a month. You wanted to throw the phone at the wall. Not because you wanted to go to the office, but because a text ruined the moment you've been waiting for. You see Bucky stand and clean the glass while you make your way to the bathroom.

You asked Bucky to move in. no, you are not in a relationship. No, you don't see progress other than touches here and there. But because Alpine is pregnant. Bucky was angry, obviously. He sat Alpine down and lectured her. You rolled your eyes as you tried to keep Charcoal away from Bucky. You did not need to hear Bucky call your baby a hooligan again.

The vet was kind. Alpine is going to have kittens and you were ecstatic. Bucky grumbled grumpily but he was happy too. Charcoal refused to leave Alpine’s side from now on and you poked Bucky every time Charcoal would follow Alpine even to the litter box. You swear you saw Alpine roll her eyes at Charcoal. You giggled and clicked a lot of videos and photos. As if you hadn't been doing that already.

You stayed at home full time, while Bucky usually left for work. Every time your name popped up on his phone, he knew it would be a photo or video of the cats you sent because you find it very adorable. The only other texts between the two of you were him texting what time he’ll be home and you texting him to hurry because you were very hungry. The life Bucky was living had turned domestic without any romance. Steve and Sam teased him about being a grandfather but it just reminded him of the time you were talking to Alpine and thanking her for making you a grandmother.

You cared a lot for Alpine. Charcoal lets you touch her but he sometimes hiss at Bucky. You had never seen Charcoal get so territorial over Alpine before. You liked it. You cooed at this and Bucky sulked even harder. Bucky had to rely on you to tell him about Alpine because Charcoal refused to move out of his way one day. He almost yelled at the thug. Keyword being almost. Because then he remembered his own behavior that you pointed out casually the previous day.

You and Bucky had gone grocery shopping. He had officially moved in and you needed extra snacks and cat food. You had a run-in with your ex. Your ex was being very flirty and you had been very polite about his questions. Bucky stood right beside you, enveloping you in his arms. You were trapped between him and the cart, not that you minded. You could hear the soft scoffs and growls Bucky gave your ex. You tried to wrap up the conversation as quickly as you could but your ex wouldn't take a hint. Bucky grunted from behind you and moved the cart carefully so as to not hurt you and got you out of the pet food aisle. He kept you trapped till you reached the car. You then casually mentioned how that reminded her of Charcoal trying to keep Alpine away from anyone.

The tension was growing around the house. Even the cats sensed it so they stirred clear of the bedroom. It was a 1 bedroom apartment. You had insisted Bucky and you share the bed. It's not like something will happen, right? Bucky forced you to sleep by the window and he slept across the door ‘to keep a klutz like you safe from unnecessary damage’. You both tried to stay on your own sides as much as possible but you were definitely getting annoyed. You were practically throwing yourself at the guy. How thick does one have to be? His brain was as thick as his thighs and your brain short circuited thinking about his thighs again. Tonight, you're gonna have to take some extra time in the bathroom.

Bucky was horny. He has had enough. The two of you were cooking in the kitchen. This time it was really not your doing. You weren't planning on brushing up against him so often. First, he walks in the kitchen with his hair open so you tie his hair for him, which he wouldn't let you do from the back and so he was breathing on your neck and his lips kept brushing up to your sensitive area while you tied his hair. He was making you horny and you thought it was on purpose. So you thought of taking revenge. You ‘accidentally’ brushed against his crotch as you made your way to the kitchen sink to wash your hand. But that was just one time.

The kitchen was heavy with tension. Even a butcher knife couldn't cut through this type of tension. You both keep glancing at each other. You thought of making a move but he was standing by the fire. He thought of making a move but you were holding a knife. The dinner, at this pace, was ready, finally. He put the food on the plates and brought it to the table. You finished in the kitchen, stuffing the leftovers in the fridge. You finished eating, he finished eating. It was as if you both were in a hurry.

Charcoal definitely rolled an eye at Bucky when Bucky tried to put his arm around you on the sofa. You had become so horny and anxious that you ended up asking Bucky if he wanted to watch a movie. He said yes, you brought out wine and now Charcoal and Alpine were witnessing the world’s heaviest sexual tension. You were sipping your wine at a very quick pace. You had almost finished the bottle alone. Bucky was still on his first beer. You were tipsy but too aware of your surroundings. You had to choose a rom-com, didnt you? Especially the one where the lead, too, was living a very sexually tense life. Or was it just you?

Bucky was slowly stroking your arm. He had put his arm around you and never even realized. Doing this seemed so natural. But your short t-shirt had ridden up and his hand touched your waist. You were alert with a hitch and so was he. He paused a little to see you react, try and remove his hand but you did nothing. So he continued. He slowly moved his hand to your stomach. His finger came to touch your belly button and he stroked its outline in a circle. You stifled your moan. He raised his hand and now he rests it right under your boobs, occasionally brushing his thumb against them.

You couldn't take it anymore. You held his hand tightly in its place, the one under your t-shirt and stood up, alerting him too. He stood up behind you. You were worried he would remove his hand from under your t-shirt but he made no such move. You took his other free hand and started dragging him to the bedroom.

As soon as you closed the bedroom door, he moved his hand up and grabbed your boob and pinched your nipple. You moaned loudly and rested your head on his chest. He lets go of your hand and uses that hand to tilt your head up. You look in his steel blue eyes and see them swirling dark. He brings his lips to yours and moans in your mouth. You turn around and hold his face in your hand as you deepen the kiss. You tug his hair and he moans again, giving your tongue access to his mouth. You slip in and he lifts you up.

He walks to the bed and lowers the two of you in the middle. You refused to let him go. You both were running out of air but the need to kiss and feel each other’s lips was higher. He wanted to kiss your neck, mark you up but you would not let go. He moves his hand down to your nipples and flicks them. With a sudden jerk, your mouth moves away from his and you whimper, letting him attack your neck. He peppers kisses all along your neck, shoulder and clavicle all the while playing with your nipples. You were a writhing mess.

Your hands reach for the hem of his henley and you try to pull it over his head. He pauses his attacks and starts removing his clothes. You too do the same. Seeing each other so bare, you both could not take your eyes off of each other. You let him stand above you because you got to see just how gorgeous he was. Those henleys hid so much of his beefiness. And his cock was magnificent.

You hadn't realized you were touching yourself till you heard Bucky growl. He immediately removes your hands and dives in to suck at your clit. A loud moan escapes you and you put your hand on your mouth.

“Oh no you don't. Do not hide those noises from me, honey. We're just getting started. I'm planning to make you louder.” Bucky pulls your hand down from your mouth and holds it.

Your legs were over his shoulder as he kept his kissing, sucking and biting going on your core. You were squirming and moaning as loudly as Bucky wanted. “Such a good girl, listening to everything I say and moaning.”

“Shit, Bucky I-” you grab his hair and before you could even tell him, the knot in your stomach breaks and you gush all over his face as he laps it all up. He licks and sucks you through your orgasm and with a final kiss on your clit, he looks up. He has you dazed and splayed out on the bed. You attempt to get up to touch his cock but he shakes his head. “Not today, honey. Today I want you. Next time, you can have as much as you want.”

You let your hands travel all over his body. He aligns himself against your core. “I will go in slow. Tell me if you want me to stop and I will pull away. Okay?” He looks at you in question and you nod. “Words, honey, I need words. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He slowly puts his bulbous tip in and your back arches a little. He slowly lets himself in and you let out a slow delicious moan. When he is completely inside you, he waits for a few seconds but your walls are crushing his cock without any movement.

“Fuck honey, you are squeezing me already. You'll make me cum just like this.” Bucky lowers himself and starts sucking on your neck on the sensitive area.

“For fuck’s sake, Bucky, move.” You let out a breathy moan and he starts moving. His pumps are gentle, slow. It's as if he wants to tease you. “Bucky.” You whine.

“What is it, honey? What do you want?” You can hear the smirk in his voice. If you weren't so hot, bothered and dazed, you would have pushed him down.

“Move, Bucky, please.” You beg. He looks you in the eyes and you see a glint of mischief. This little-

“I am moving, honey. What more do you want?” Bucky thrusts in you even slower and you whine. Your eyes water and the tears trickle down. Bucky reaches down and licks your tears up, leaving a trail of kisses.

“Bucky-” But you are cut off by a sudden hard thrust in you. You moan his name loudly and grip his biceps even tighter.

“Is this what you want, honey? Do you want me to fuck you hard?” He pulls out to push back in harder and you mewl, arching your back.

“Yes Bucky. I want you to fuck me hard and fast.” You move your hand to grip his ass as he gives you another hard thrust.

“My good girl. Saying words. I will reward you by doing exactly what my good girl wants.” His praises make you clench around his cock and he moans loudly, burying his face in your neck. “Fuck, honey! You like that, huh? Me calling you a good girl turns you on, doesn't it?”

Without wasting anymore moments, he starts thrusting into you harder and faster. He takes your mouth in his, subsiding the moans and whimpers. You are gripping onto his back, leaving red marks on him. He’s sucking on your neck and breasts, leaving bite marks all over.

“Bucky, I'm cumming. Please.” You arch again and his thrusts start to get sloppy. “I am cumming too, honey. Together, yes?” He circles your clit with delicacy and you mewl. Within seconds, you both cum and he fills you to the brim. Your gush is leaking down his balls and he rides your orgasm with you.

He falls to the side and slowly removes himself from you. Bucky moves stray hair from your face and kisses your forehead, before going to the bathroom and bringing out wet washcloth. He wipes you clean and goes back to the bathroom. You try to stand up to go pee but your legs wobble and you sit back down on the bed. You hear a slight snicker from Bucky and you give him a playful glare. He lifts you up effortlessly and sits you on the toilet.

“Call me when you're done. I don't want you to get into a bathroom accident.” He chuckles at his statement and you flip him off, closing the bathroom door. You hear him laugh.

You pee and clean yourself up before carefully opening the door. Your legs were still a little wobbly. But just as you cross the bathroom door, Bucky scoops you up and lays down on the bed with you tucked snugly beside him.

“This is unfair. How come you get to wear your bottoms but i have to stay naked. It has to be two sided.” You snuggle in deeper as you try to remove his pants.

“Is that your way of getting me out of my pants? Because it's working, honey.” He removes his pants and the two of you are naked again. Sleep catches on and you drift off with Bucky’s arms around you. You swore you heard him say something about love but you let it go.

………………….

Alpine was in labor and Bucky isn't home yet. Your relationship with Bucky had shifted drastically. Now he would not hesitate to cuddle up to you at any chance he got. He would even make you sit on the bed to work so he could sit behind you and keep his hands on you. You loved it. You never realized you were so much into physical touch till Bucky came along. You would let him manhandle you into positions he saw fit for snuggling.

Charcoal was pacing and you kept on calling Bucky. You didn't know what to do. You called the vet and they said the labor takes a while so you still had time to bring Alpine to the hospital. The door unlocked and Bucky walked in. you sighed in relief but before you could tell him what’s going on, Charcoal started meowing loudly at him as if lecturing.

Bucky looks at you and you nod at everything Charcoal was meowing about. “I know you can understand him, honey but what’s wrong? Why is the thug yelling at me?” You explain everything to Bucky and he immediately tries to go near Alpine, only to be stopped by Charcoal. Bucky looks at you exasperatedly.

You shake your head and take Alpine in your arms. You pat Bucky’s hand and gesture Charcoal to come and he reluctantly comes into his arms. “This is ridiculous. I am her father and I have to carry this hooligan. He won't let me touch my own daughter! This is shit!” he still carries Charcoal carefully and you all drive to the vet.

After hours of waiting and calming Charcoal down, Alpine is blessed with twin kittens. You and Bucky look at them with such adoration. Bucky had tears in his eyes. He praises Alpine for being so calm during this time and finally gets to pet her. Charcoal is curled up near the kittens and lets out a soft purr as you pet him.

With good enough instructions, all six of you go back to the apartment. It had started to feel smaller. Bucky kept on looking at you as you sang to the kittens in a very soft voice. He had been on the fence about his decision but seeing you like this made his belief even stronger.

……………….

Bucky woke up on a good long weekend with you naked in his arms. Last night must've tuckered you out. He goes to the bathroom to wash up and sees the marks you left on his back. He smiled proudly. He washes up and starts prepping for pancakes. You emerge from the bathroom, all washed up, wrapped in a towel for him to see. He groans and marches after you in the bedroom and locks the door. Looks like the day is going to have to start a bit late.

Bucky asked you to wear his favorite sundress. You were sitting in the car in front of another apartment building. You were nervous. You had plans today for him but Bucky seemed too enthusiastic to show his plans to you today. He opens your door and you walk in the apartment building with his arms around you.

He clicked a good enough top floor in the elevator. You were moved in front of him as he nipped at your neck. You swatted at his hand on your waist and he let out a breathy chuckle. Just as you arrived at the floor, Bucky dragged you to one of the four apartments. He started showing you around. It was barren for the most part but it looked very expensive.

“What do you think about this place, honey?” Bucky wraps himself around you as you gaze down the wall to the ceiling window.

“It is very gorgeous, Buck but why are we looking at this place?” You turn around in his arms and face him. He’s looking down at you and pecks your lips.

“I want us to live here together, honey. With kitties and all. I love your place but even you are finding it a hard fit. This is very spacious for us all. And, we can entertain our friends without our babies being disturbed. What do you say?” He looked at you hopefully.

You had been thinking about getting a new place but Bucky finding something so fantastic and considering every option got your heart racing. You wrap your arms around him and lean up to kiss his chin. “I love it.”

Bucky lets out a sigh of relief and lifts you up to spin you. “Shall we christen the new place?” He wraps your legs around his waist and moves to a wall. He kisses your lips and makes his way down to your neck and breasts.

You swat at his back, making him halt. “You're insatiable. As much as I love the idea, let's not do that right now. Maybe after we move in.” He sighs and lowers you down, pecking your lips and making you giggle. He walks a bit away from you and shoves his hands in his pockets.

“I have something else to ask you. Well, since our babies have babies together and since we are living together, will it be okay if we stay together as a married couple?”

Bucky asked it with such ease. He didn't stutter, he didn't seem anxious, he just asked. You did not expect a grumpy, beefy 6 foot something of a man who never talked to anyone except grunts and growls, just very easily asked you to marry him. WITH THE SAME SPEECH THAT YOU WERE GONNA GIVE.

“What the fuck, Bucky? Did you go through my notes on my phone?” That was the first thing that came to you instead of giving an answer.

He shrugged and walked to you. He slipped his hand out of his pocket and held out a ring. It was a simple gold band with a delicate diamond on top. “Well, you have always initiated our relationship and I wanted to initiate something this time. I've been wanting to marry you since you first claimed I was a kidnapper but now that I saw you were ready, I wanted to propose in our new place.” He, very casually, slipped the ring on your finger.

“Bucky! You romantic son of a bitch! Now what the fuck am i supposed to say?” Your voice might have grown louder but it also got wobbly. You, very gently, hit your left hand on his chest.

“You can give me the ring in your purse and we can go back home to consummate our engagement. How does that sound?” You gape at him.

“How do you know about the ring? Did you snoop again?” You pulled out the ring box you had snuggly kept in between the chains. You bring out the simple gold band and push it down Bucky’s ring finger a little too hard. He winces but smiles widely at you.

“I didn't need to snoop, honey. You always keep your things laying around in the open. It's a wonder how that ring box hasn't been turned into a toy by our cats.” He pulls you in a hug and kisses your forehead. “This is perfect. Us, our new home and our babies.”

................................

request/ask for this fic is open

#fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #marvel fandom #smut #fluff #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes

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writingforstraykids · 7 months ago

Note

Jeongin soft thoughts? 🙏🏻

Collab with @zehina

Thank you so much for the many sweet thoughts you shared with me and let me use/adapt for this. Without you this post would've been rather short compared to the others🖤🖤

Jeongin loves to tease his hyungs with disgusted faces and slipping out of their hugs. But with you, whenever you're alone, that changes drastically. Innie turns putty in your hands, letting you trace your fingers all over his face, knowing you'll stop at his dimples for a while. They're cute, just like him, so who can blame you for that? A dopey smile grows on his lips whenever you play with his hair and massage his scalp, helping him relax after a long day.

Innie has a very specific pet name for you, which he hasn't said out loud for a long while. It's like his little secret, adoring you from afar, his heart growing at the fact that you're his. One day, he slips, muttering it against your hair when he's already sleepy. You pull back, gaping at him, and his eyes widen in pure shock when he realizes why. You don't dare to tease him about it, though, knowing he'd die from embarrassment.

If the boys wouldn't know better, they'd suspect you are just a pair of bickering siblings. The loving teasing, playful cursing, and playful fights definitely make it seem like you are. But the way you two get cuddly and share soft kisses proves everyone wrong.

Innie is used to being babied by his hyungs all the time, and if he's honest, he doesn't mind it one bit. Once he met you, he found someone he could baby for once. And oh, how he loves doing it. He takes upon Chan's tradition of "maknae first" and always makes sure you get the first bite, the first sip, the best view, the cuddliest blanket, or the most loving hug. In his eyes, you deserve nothing but the best.

Innie gets drunk faster than you do so it's your job to take care of him when he is. He trusts you with this, knowing you'll get him back home or safely to bed when he had a little too much. He gets so clingy when he's drunk it's adorable. You can't even remember the amount of times he has been hugging you and planting drunk kisses on your face, missing your lips with an adorable giggle. You've lost count of the times he's drunkenly declared his love for you in front of everyone, his words slurred but sincere, his arms wrapped tightly around you as if he never wants to let go. It's endearing, and even though he's a lightweight, you wouldn't change a thing about these heartfelt moments.

Innie, the baby bread who has a knack for acting like a grandpa amongst the bunch and you cannot say I am wrong. While he is a menace, yes, he isn’t one like Seungmin. No, this boy wouldn’t tease you for acting cute or taking care of him, instead, he would try his best to not be affectionate with you in public. A hard battle, one he often fails. But who could blame him, when you look that adorable, with such a sweet expression on your face? Certainly not him. So whenever you brush your fingers against his as you two walk, don’t talk about how fast he laces your fingers together, or how he silently takes off his coat if you seem cold. Let him be the little tsundere he is, otherwise he’ll pout, and you don’t want that at all.

Innie isn’t a big fan of skinship, click on any stray kids video if you need proof. But you’re an exception to that, to a certain degree. If you ask nicely enough, he’ll wrap you in his arms and have an all night long cuddle session. Other times, he wraps his arm around you protectively, not even a hiccup in the story he had been telling you, as if it was natural to him. Naturally, since you seem to be getting the VIP baby bread services that the boys aren’t getting, they all act incredibly jealous around you, all in a playful way. They tease both of you about this, which only results in their maknae getting flustered and chasing them around with heated cheeks and loud shouts. You don’t mind this at all honestly, their loud laughter and an embarrassed, cuddly boyfriend being your reward.

He would pay for your things, as expensive or cheap as they may be, he wouldn’t care at all. No, he would confidently raise his card towards the cashier, leaving you gaping up at him, admittedly a bit frustrated that you couldn’t pay for your bubble tea once again. And if you dared voice this, he would simply smirk at you, destroying your defences with that foxy smile of his. Damn him and his charisma.

When Jeongin plans a date, he makes sure every detail is perfect, from the timing to the location. His meticulous nature shows through in these moments, especially when he tries to incorporate activities he knows you'll love. He might feign indifference about the choices, saying things like "whatever you prefer," but you can tell he’s invested by how eagerly he observes your reactions. If you mention a fleeting interest in art, the next date might involve a quiet afternoon at a gallery, followed by coffee at a small café that he had scouted out weeks in advance. These thoughtful gestures don't go unnoticed, and they only deepen your appreciation for his caring and attentive ways.

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

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thetorturedbuckydepartment · 4 months ago

Text

chapter one: the briefing

pairing: Bucky barnes x plus-sized!SHIElD!reader

masterlist

summary: being a SHIELD agent, you have a knack for analysing people, particularly when it comes to attraction. you have everyone figured out, sorted away into the boxes you've created. But there's one man you can never seem to figure out, the very bane of your existence -- Bucky Barnes. On the field, he is a saint, helping you dodge bullets and taking knife wounds in your name. Around the building? Public menace number one, always poised to insult or to spar with you.

After being sent on a 6-month-long torture-cum-vacation with the very man, could all this change? Could you finally figure out what has been bubbling beneath the surface for years between the two of you, the juggernaut that you know you cannot stop?

warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of murder, dead parents, scars, trauma, implied slutshaming, mentions of guns and shooting and bombs, mentions of wanting to die, dark content, reader is implied to be bisexual (I cannot fathom not being attracted to women SORRY NOT SORRY), reader is implicitly stated to be NOT A MAN

word count: 3.4k

A/N: omg it's here! had so much fun writing this, hope you all enjoy it too! im still working out a schedule for this, as ive currently written 3 chapters and am already at about 10k words! and im currently very inspired for my own, non-fanfic WIP, so im split! hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know if you liked it! comments and reblogs are much appreciated <3

Human attraction can be sorted into three little boxes: Sexual, romantic, platonic. It is somewhat of a threeway Venn diagram, and people find themselves travelling in between the perfectly drawn circles all the time. It is a marvel to some, to be able to gauge the section in which one stands with a simple glance. It’s a gift, you’ve found, having the knack to discern between the three attractions. Which means you’ve cracked the code on people, and know exactly how to assess and engage accordingly.

It’s how you find yourself in such a predicament as the following, quite often:

“You’re Butterscotch, aren’t you?” The voice is meek, quiet, and comes from directly behind you. You’ve just put down the weights at the gym, and have paused to take a drink from your water bottle, when you turn to assess the situation.

Long brown hair, blue eyes. Gorgeously shy smile as she tucks a strand behind her ear. Your whole body moves, reacting to the incarnation of Aphrodite herself in front of you. You suppose you’ve always seen women that way, to be wholly more beautiful on average compared to men. It’s how you often find yourself in bed with a woman not unlike the one before you.

She stands, slyly pushing her breasts together and leaning into you, whether it be subconscious or not, batting her long eyelashes. Sexual attraction, then. You smile, deciding to play it cool, taking another long sip of water, silently reveling in the way her eyes stick on your wet lips.

“Yeah, that’s me. And you, you’re Hazel, aren’t you?” You tip your head to one side in faux innocence, honing you eyes in on her in a way you know sends shivers down her spine, completely hypnotised by the way you silently call to her. She nods, surprised that you’ve remembered her from her initiation training 6 months ago. She was one of the older recruits, only two or three years younger than you, but valuable just the same.

“I’ve been following your career for a while now, and I must say I really look up to you.” Her lips twist into a grin, showing off her perfect teeth. Your own face darkens as you inject lust into it, and you watch as she tries to discreetly squeeze her thighs together. She’ll be eating right out of your hand in no time.

If she’d come to you 13 years ago, when you were just starting out, you would’ve wanted to tell her that all you are interested in is a promise of casualty. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less, but the absence of such a discussion did land you in hot water all that time ago. Now, your reputation precedes you, and you doubt there is a single soul in this building who doesn’t know your one-and-done policy. Of course, some of the agents surprise you and you have them on a staggered rotation, a new criteria you’ve introduced into your sex life once the gap between you and fresh faces widened to an immoral degree.

You open your mouth to give her a reply that will make her leave here with sticky thighs, when the most agitating, grating voice you’ve been almost tortured with for the past eight years echoes across the gym, calling to you.

“Let’s go Butterface, Fury had a brief for us twenty minutes ago. You can fuck around later.” You roll your eyes at the words of none other than James Buchanan Barnes, huffing out a breath. He’s done this to embarrass you, for sure, because you know for a fact that Fury’s briefing for the next mission is actually in ten minutes from right now. But you know if you showed up on time, he gets the upper hand for coming in earlier.

That’s the other reason you’re so famous around the building — your long-term feud with Bucky. Whenever the two of you end up in a meeting room, there are more insults hurled around than facts. You two love to spar together, finding any excuse to leave bruises on the other’s body. But the most damning thing? There is no better team than the both of you out on the field, your missions always resulting in the lowest casualties and highest success rates SHIELD has ever seen. It’s an eternal mystery, but to the two of you, it is clear enough. You are enemies, holding the dagger of sharp-edged insults to each other’s throats, but on a mission? It must all be put aside for the greater good, for the safety of others. The remarks are snarky but non-distracting, and you’ve jumped in front of a bullet for him more times than you would like to admit. But it doesn’t matter, because he has endured several injuries for you in turn as well.

You redirect your attention back to your self-sacrificial prey for tonight. “Well, if you need me, I’ll be available at my room on floor 13 at around ten.” You lean in to whisper into her ear, and drag a less-than-innocent finger down the side of her neck. “I can give you a few more ways to look up to me, if you’d like.” The lower octave does something to her, and you watch her eyes flutter shut as she realises you’ve gladly accepted the silent offer she was handing you on a silver platter.

You chuckle, at how easy it all is. And then spin on your heel, marching back to begrudgingly follow behind the tall brunette who seems to have a permanent scowl on his face whenever he’s in the same room as you.

He leans back against the cool metal of the elevator that will send the both of you to the top, arms crossed across his broad chest. If you didn’t hate his guts, you’d absolutely suck him dry, right here right now. It’s no surprise that he is the most beautiful man in the building, but his attitude and mannerisms have long turned you off from him.

You poke the bear.

“What happened, Barnes? You mad nobody’ll fuck you?” He turns to you then, blue eyes blazing. And it only makes your shit-eating grin widen.

“Why would I ever be mad at that? I’m mad because we have to go on a mission, and when I come to get you, you’re busy planning on how to… spend your night. Again. At this point, if they’ve got a pulse they probably meet your standards, don’t they?” He smiles cruelly, and you don’t miss the implications. But you don’t care. If you were a man, they’d be singing your praises in the streets. So why is it different now?

“If they have a pulse? Well, if that were the case, then you…” You let your eyes wander up and down, and you notice his hard shell cracking when you meet his eyes again. You smile widens and you feign a blush, and he begins to smile, thinking he’s got you. And then you throw a grenade into whatever fantasy he’s spinning in his head. “Would be dead.” Your voice has never been more cold, observing the way his shoulders slouch in something akin to disappointment.

This is his kryptonite that you love exploiting, so much. The man is wickedly attracted to you, and is equally as horrid at hiding it. You have no idea what kind, though. Which box he fits into. You’re certain it’s not platonic given the way he talks to you. The longing glances and delicate touches after missions where you end up injured had turned you towards romantic, but you know there is no denying the way his eyes drift to your cleavage when you spar, or the way his hands immediately find your hips when you best him in the ring and end up straddling him. There is no box you can put him in, and it drives you up the damn wall.

You briefly wonder what the two of you would be doing in this elevator right now if you were as attracted to him and either of you had made it known.

The elevator pings and the both of you break the burning, seething eye contact as you file into Meeting Room 17B.

“Right, before Barnes’ dick explodes at the thought of me fucking a woman, what’s the mission chief.” Barnes has the nerve to blush, sitting in the chair opposite yours, both facing the head of the table with a monitor where Fury and Stark both stand.

“Did your mother never teach you the difference between professional and casual?” He fires back, and you grin sadistically, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning back.

“She’s dead, Barnes. Have some decorum, and maybe a modicum of respect?” His face falls, knowing he’s crossed a line, but if God Himself came down and told Bucky to apologise, he’d shake hands with the Devil. “What about your father then?” He is frantically searching you for any sign of hurt or discomfort that he can exploit, you can tell by the way his eyes stick to your every feature.

“Hard to when you’re in prison for murdering your wife and attempting to murder your child.” You turn to Stark, knowing you’ve rendered him absolutely speechless. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his mouth close and open like a fish, gasping for some air. Pathetic, really, but well-deserved. In all these years, you’re surprised it took him this long to blame your upbringing, often opting to attack you as a person directly. But you finally got to play the cards you’ve kept close to your chest, a sick and twisted punishment. That means that you win, today.

“Thats 236 for Butterscotch, and Barnes is still on 220,” Tony mutters, and you can’t hide your competitive side that comes out.

You turn to him, tutting. “Keep up, Barnes. I thought you were better competition than this. Pathetic.” You’re shaking your head in mock disappointment. A blood-tinged vignette passes around in the back of your mind, but you try your best to not let it show.

The arguments between you and Bucky as so well-known to get out of hand, the Avengers started keeping score, refreshing each year, of who won the argument. This is strictly judged based on how the final retort leaves the other unable to think of a comeback. You’ve bested him 236 times already, and it’s only February.

“You didn’t tell me about your parents,” he grumbles, cheeks pink in humiliation. Why is he backing down so easily today?

“I don’t owe you shit, Barnes. Especially not about my life before I got here. Sorry, Fury, should we start the briefing?” You divert the attention back to the matter at hand, feeling like maybe you went a tiny bit too far by calling him pathetic to his face.

Since when have you ever nurtured a soft spot for him? Well, you are certainly not going to be starting today.

With both of your mouths shut and eyes attentive, Fury begins to speak.

“We need the two of you to go undercover. We have intel that Senator Parker may be dealing with copious amounts of methamphetamines, involving using his house as a lab and distribution centre. He often targets teens of ethnic backgrounds to carry the drugs and deal them in exchange for cuts — he chooses them this way so they would almost immediately go to prison, and nobody would be let off scot-free to rat him out.” Tony flashes up several holograms of the Senator, the teens caught pressing white packets into palms, and even those who ended up behind bars, and have continued to distribute the drugs from within.

“So…why do we need to go undercover?” You ask, leaning forward in your seat so you could see the graphics better.

“Well…here is Parker’s dating history…” Why does Tony sound so reluctant as he pulls up the dating history? Why is that relevant? These are just some of the questions that swirl around your mind, and are evident in your scrunched up face.

Bucky is watching you, quietly. Observing your features, observing you. He can’t help it — the grace with which you walk, the crudeness with which you speak…it’s entrancing. And you know it. He hates it.

Then, slowly, the pictures begin to appear — there are 17 women. Every single one of them looks like you — the same colour hair, the same colour eyes. Similar face shapes and similar body types. It’s like there’s 18 of you in the room.

“I’m a honeytrap?”

Fury is quick to speak, to protest the misunderstanding that the mission is an objectification of you. “No….well yes. We have carefully constructed a plan that essentially is built on the fact that you happen to be—“

“Exactly his type?” Bucky asks, feeling shame crawl up his spine at the realisation that he has something in common with a drug lord. You look at him as he speaks, and feel more and more confused by the second.

“Yes.” Tony continues. “We’ve planned to plant you in the same cul-de-sac that Parker’s house resides on, and Butterscotch can use the fact that she’s his type to sway him, win his trust. You’ll have to play the long game with him, he’s known to barely let anyone in his house unless he wants to fuck them.”

You feel a sickness coat your stomach. “Will I have to fuck him? Because I’d rather shoot Barnes and then myself and blow up this building.” You chew your lip nervously, all the confidence can your body momentarily evaporating. The old man might just be one of the worst people you’ve ever heard of when it comes to drug trafficking. Not to mention any sexual gratification is just you stepping into a stereotype of what he wants, that you are just another woman with the similar face that he wants to put his dick in. It makes your skin crawl, and you run your fingernails harshly along your forearm.

“No.” To your surprise, it’s Bucky who speaks up. He meets your eyes for a brief moment, before turning to Fury and Tony. “No, right? She clearly doesn’t want to, don’t tell me you’re gonna make her.” He sounds oddly protective over you here, which he has no right to be. But you can’t fight him, not over this.

“No, no, of course not. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to. At most you’ll have to flirt with him, make him think he’s going to….y’know, with you. And use that advantage to sneak into his house. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Butterscotch. You know we’d never do that to you, that it’s against our ethics and values.” You nod, relaxing in your seat while Bucky stares at the red, raw skin of your forearm. He wants to soothe it, he wants to soothe you—

“And if I’m going, obviously you’re gonna send the Sergeant with me, aren’t you?” They nod in unison. You take a deep breath, knowing you have to take it. There will be no mission more satisfying. And Bucky is much more bearable when the both of you have a common goal.

“So what exactly is our cover?” Bucky perks up. The both of you wear the suit of civility so quickly when you have to do your jobs.

Fury scratches his neck, exchanging a nervous glance with Tony. You anticipate the answer, knowing it will not be to your liking.

“We’ve planned to plant you in the Acorn suburb in Claremont, just across the street from Parker’s residence, for around six months. It’s a nice, quaint little city, I think the both of you would like it. It’s a lot more green, and less noisy and polluted than New York—.”

“Tony,” you warn, glaring at him. He is omitting the information. Why?

“Fine! The suburbs are conservative as shit, so you’re going as husband and wife!” Your eyes widen, and you swear you lose hearing for a second as the world goes in and out of focus. You have to pretend to be married. Pretending to be in love, you could do — in fact, you could probably pass off most intel exchanges with him as lovers’ private conversations if you smile and laugh on the right cues.

But marriage? The sanctity of which has been so thoroughly, irrevocably spoiled for you? The very reason you have only ever wanted casual in your entire life, as opposed to commitment? You can’t breathe.

You try to hide your shaky hands as you reach for the glass of water, downing it and gasping for breath. All that runs through your mind is the only instance of a married man you’ve ever known, and how it ended. How you ended, body mutilated in enough scars to rival Bucky’s left shoulder, crying out for a bloodied corpse in the back of an ambulance while the paramedics did their best to save you. How you wish they would’ve failed sometimes.

It’s too much.

“I need time to think.” You all but run out of the door, and you think the chair falls with the force of your escape, but your heart is beating too fast for you to be certain. Sweat that had dried reappears at your hairline, beading and dripping down your face. You sit on the floor, clutching at your chest as you’re bombarded by the most horrifying images that not even the strongest of sleeping pills can shake. Your eyes squeeze shut and someone is calling your name. Not Butterscotch, but the name that heinous monster chose for you when you were still in your mother’s womb.

But even that turns out to be a hallucination, your head in your hands as you hear a familiar voice call to you.

“Butterface…is the idea of being married to me that bad?” You freeze. Bucky is here, why is Bucky here? You look up to be met with him crouching by your side, Tony on the other with a hand on your shoulder, and Fury standing tall. There is not a single hint of disappointment on his face, and you’re glad.

You turn to Tony. “You know…you know what…I can’t. You know why….Tony…” His face morphs into one of intense melancholia, pulling you into him. Ever since you started working more closely together with Bucky, he’s become something of a big brother to you — overly protective and affectionately annoying.

“I know, kid. You know what? Screw this, I’ll find some other agent who looks close to you to take over with Barnes.” His voice finally calms you down, and you take in deep breaths.

You can’t win them all. You’ll have to make some sacrifices. You pull away from Tony’s arms, not even daring to glance at Bucky. He doesn’t need to see what you look like when you’re vulnerable, because you know he will do everything in his power to bring you to such a state once again, just to hurt you.

You take several deep breaths.

“No. You and Fury have said it yourself, so many times. Nobody works better with James than I do, at least not in the field. My burning hatred for him is completely personal. I— I can do it. It’s just…I probably would’ve been fine but it got brought up and it was all I could really think about and then…it just sent me over the edge. But if Barnes promises to not be as big of an asshole as he usually is, I can make it work.” You don’t even risk a glance at him.

“I won’t be. I’ll behave. Plus, you are a lot more tolerable out on the field, so it shouldn’t be so hard. Promise, it’ll all be okay.” His tone sounds so…sincere? What on earth is up with him today? You spare him a glance, and his eyes shine brilliantly blue. And you believe him.

Bucky Barnes may be an asshole, but he would never lie to you. Especially when it concerns a mission, where miscommunications and secrets have consequences for people outside the both of you. He has at least this sense of loyalty about him.

“Alright. Guess I better get packing for Claremont, then.”

NEXT PART

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x plus size reader #x plus size reader #marvel #k's writing corner #bucky barnes fanfiction

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apdreadful · 3 days ago

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Since the election I have deactivated some of my social media. Blocked some people I never should have ever engaged with to begin with, and unfollowed several accounts on IG that just don’t bring me joy.

And 911onabc was one.

Is it because Buck & Tommy didn’t end together? No. I’m a grown ass adult. I can be irritated by the something and not be dramatic or hateful about it.

It was because several storylines lately have been complete bullshit.

They start strong with solid good storytelling. But then..eh we’re bored. Only whatever we do absolutely can not make sense!

The lazy fucking way they wrote Christopher’s character out, and that weird ass doppelgänger storyline.

New season? Let’s start by putting Bobby and Athena through to some major disaster! Hey it worked last season! Let’s do it again! (Do not even get me started on that fucking drug cartel shit..what the hell even was that??)

We are only allowed to have one character or couple drama free at a time. And if we can’t come up with a plausible way to create discord or havoc, we’ll just do some stupid shit instead!

Spend several seasons showing the deep strong bond between Eddie and Christopher. Gavin’s family moves? Just make it something dumb..but fast! I know let’s have him get mad at his dad and ask to move in with his grandparents!! Never mind he’d never do that!

The amount of psychological trauma they have inflicted on Maddie. The near death experiences of Chimney. Jesus. Just what tf?

Hmmm. Karen and Hen..the fans would revolt if we broke them up. So let’s go after their kids!! And we can’t make it about them being gay! Let’s create this over the top villain Councilwoman Ortiz. Who’s the mother of that drunk coked up dude from the accident. Only we absolutely cannot have Hen or anyone defend what happened or shut that shit down by saying “Your son was a fucking menace and maybe if you hadn’t kept covering for him he would have gotten some fucking help and not caused an accident.” Also do not mention Hen was cleared of all wrong doing. Nope. Logic has no place here!

Ok so the fans have been clamoring for Buddie. But Eddie Diaz is straight. Period.

So hey! Let’s make Buck bisexual. And tell everyone we are getting him off the hamster wheel (because really, we’ve given him the emotional depth of a teaspoon for a while now)..And his love interest/boyfriend should be Tommy Kinard, who used to work at the 118, and we will invest time to give him a compelling backstory, and lay a ton of Easter eggs showing how richly we can mine this pairing and these characters.

And make them HAPPY for several episodes. Blissfully in love. And then totally out of the blue, let’s break them up. But the reason has to be complete bullshit, totally against character out of left field BULLSHIT. Like they should start out the episode great and about 80 percent in..wait! Let’s also make him the SAME Tommy Abbie from season one was engaged to before she started banging Buck! And then let’s make Tommy who is so into Buck it’s palpable, dump him because he’s afraid of getting his heart broken! Even though it’s one of the most tired, overdone, stupid tropes ever!!

Yeah. I don’t know WTF is going on in the writers room I would swear it’s like there’s this talented group of writers who start stories, and then they go out in Wilshire Blvd and ask some random person on the street to write the ending, but they have to do it, right there in the next 20 minutes.

No I am not going to stop watching 911 forever. I just don’t really want to see them on my IG. This last stunt, sparked only incredulity and scorn.

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pshbites · 3 months ago

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LOVE ON AiR 6. ROUND TABLE EP 149: perfect pitch :o

WARNiNGS » profanity, mentions of drinking, jake being a menace, there also might be typos 😢

3.7k words (again imsorry)

episode desc - come and take a seat with us at our round table! todays episode is a little different because while talking we built a lego set that jake got! while building we covered perfect pitch, icks in relationships, and scenarios we got sent by you guys on twitter. so please stay for a while with us and get comfortable, hope you enjoyed your meeting with us at the round table!

*all four boys are seating at a round table, jake is opening a lego box to get out the packets and instructions. heeseung adjusts the camera. the setting of the room is a lot more casual, there’s polaroids on the wall of them and their friends. the chairs they sit in aren’t normal outdoor chairs but rather look much more comfortable. each mic has something correlating to them. jake has iron man, heeseung has a controller, jay has a tiny chef hat and sunghoon has a penguin. heeseung takes a seat and claps his hands together. from left to right the order they’re sitting in goes jake, jay, sunghoon, heeseung.*

heeseung: okay the camera is good

jay: what was going on with it?

heeseung: it kept focusing in and out very weirdly, also i think it was dying so i had to change the battery. *he adjusts his mic so it picks up the sound better*

*sunghoon shuts off his phone and sits up, adjusting his mic and looking to the camera*

sunghoon: guys i am not an alpha male, i like chappell roan and other non alpha male things and i love lauryn hill

jake: so convincing *he scoffs-half laugh.*

sunghoon: no im serious, i gave the album a listen and i loved it so much

jay: told you

heeseung: what are we building by the way. *he sits up a little taller to try and see the box.

jake: i’m not telling you! it’s gonna be a surpriseee *sing-song voice*

jay: i don’t know if you guys know or not but sunghoon and jake were actually late today

sunghoon: yeah! getting snacks for you and heeseung!

heeseung: i’m not gonna get on to them they actually brought us food.

jay: oh but last time i was late you cut from my paycheck

jake: bring food next time loser

*jay flicks jake’s forehead making him groan loudly*

jay: i’m mistreated guys im taking new friend applications

heeseung: oh like jake’s girlfriend application?

*the group laughs, jake looks the camera in all seriousness*

jake: if this gets 1 million likes i’ll post the google form.

heeseung: where would you take her out for a first date

jay: don’t make him say it, we might get demonetized. *jay laughs along with sunghoon and heeseung. jake rolls his eyes and sighs*

jake: you think so low of me.

sunghoon: well considering when you [BLEEP] in your last relationship

jake: woah?!? i told you that in confidence.

*sunghoon laughs loudly. jay and heeseung look at each other then laugh*

jake: okay guys it’s not that funny

heeseung: cannot believe you did that. you begged her?

jay: according to sunghoons words the [BLEEP] was too good

jake: GUYSSSS *he groans, putting his head on the table*

sunghoon: okay okay fine

*sunghoon heeseung and jay stop laughing in an attempt to calm themselves down*

heeseung: before we sign in we should recap our weekend right?

*jay nods, taking a sip of his water and sitting up straighter. jake moves the pile of lego bags in the middle along with the instruction booklets.*

sunghoon: well mine was chill, ask those two schmucks though. *he points to jay and jake who smile at one another knowing what they did this weekend*

jake: okay well we went to a music festival and it was so sick.

jay: no yeah it was so fun, we were at the barricades too!

*heeseung widens his eyes, intently listening*

heeseung: barricades?! who was performing.

jay: it was a lot of underground artists but live music is like always good. it kinda sucked though because we were with yeonjun and his friends and i knew jake was gonna be drunk so i had to drive back home.

*jake laughs, jay glaring at him.*

jake: yeah but you had fun, flirted around too didn’t ya. *he playfully hits jays shoulder, making his ears turn red*

heeseung & sunghoon: OOOOO *sing-song voice*

jay: barely, BARELY. this girl liked my outfit and we talked for a bit

jake: ‘a bit’ more like all night.

heeseung: oooo 1, 2, 3, 4 that guy has rizz galoreeee!

*once he says that the boys stop what they’re doing to stare at him, jake side eyes sunghoon and all three of them begin laughing at heeseung.*

sunghoon: what the fuck was that man

heeseung: *laughs embarrassingly* i don’t know i saw it on my tiktok, i just wanted to try it

jay: for those of you who say that heeseung gets hoes he in fact does not *still laughing*

jake: only thing he touches is his controller everyday

*jay and sunghoon laugh harder, their faces turning red. heeseung tries to hold back his laugh but then starts laughing with them.*

heeseung: you guys are so mean

sunghoon: if we can’t humble you who will.

jay: well spoken hoon.

jake: no no i think heeseung gets hoes

heeseung: ehhhh my last relationship was a year ago

sunghoon: i swore yall broke up a couple months ago

jay: dude your perception of time is so bad

jake: yeah it’s been a little more than a year

sunghoon: then i guess heeseung needs that girlfriend application more than you do. *laughs*

heeseung: can we just sign in please

jake: oookaayy! welcome to another round table meeting, please sit down with us. i’m your host jake for this week and todays activity is legos and snacks! to my far right i have..

sunghoon: sunghoon

heeseung: heeseung

jay: ur mom

jake: that wasn’t funny.

heeseung: loser

jay: says the one who said the most embarrassing joke known to man

*jay sticks his tongue out at heeseung making him flip him off*

jake: anyways, starting off the episode i wanna talk about how fucking convenient it is that heeseung has perfect pitch

*the boys begin opening the lego bags, pouring it out and each taking their respective instruction booklet, one for each of them.*

heeseung: honestly one day i was just playing the piano and i discovered i had it

sunghoon: yeah then you started milking the shit out of it

jay: jake has a point because whenever i need to tune my guitars hee always helps me

heeseung: its good with the ladies too

jake: yeah okay rizz galore

heeseung: okay enough

sunghoon: mmm i don’t think it’s enough *jay jake and sunghoon laugh at heeseungs face which is a pout*

jake: it’s so cool though, i’ve never met anyone who has it

heeseung: i don’t know, i think it would be much more convenient if i was like a singer or something but im not. it’s kind of a pointless talent

sunghoon: i don’t think so, it gives you personality

jay: you could’ve been a singer if you wanted to. if you guys don’t know heeseung actually auditioned to be in one of those kpop survival shows

jake: *gasp* i remember, you told us at lunch that day like it was the biggest thing ever

heeseung: you guys know the real reason i auditioned?

sunghoon: wait why

heeseung: because [BLEEP] did

jay: *laughs, throwing his head back then high fiving sunghoon across the table* we figured

heeseung: you two knew?!

sunghoon: jake did too actually but he thought it was.. you know

jake: yeah i didn’t know it was her though

heeseung: well my dreams of being in a kpop group were crushed when they rejected me. it didn’t matter anyways because i wasn’t that excited

jay: i remember vividly you cried for weeks

heeseung: is it hate heeseung day?

sunghoon: no, but it can be

*heeseung shoves sunghoon shoulder making him giggle*

jake: should i start with my questions?

jay: yeah go ahead gamemaker

sunghoon: floors yours

jake: okay well i only had one question and the rest were scenarios that people sent

heeseung: agh before you do ill go and grab those snacks that you bought

jake: okay we can wait it’s fine

*heeseung gets up, leaving the room, jay jake and sunghoon continue to build, looking at the instructions*

jake: you know i was thinking the other night we’ve known each other forever

jay: we really have haven’t we. i mean i have to be honest i never would’ve expected to be like best friends with you guys

sunghoon: ouch

jay: not like that. i mean that i never would’ve thought that id actually have people this close to me you know. or like people who understand me this much.

sunghoon: i understand. i feel the same. i mean i feel like people think im just cold and heartless but you guys understand me for who i am

jake: you just seem like you are, you aren’t actually hoon.

sunghoon: it just feels like it sometimes. like i feel like i don’t try to come off as cold but it just happens.

jay: it’s the ice in your veins

*all three of them laugh*

sunghoon: no but really, i just think that you guys understand me so much more than i would’ve imagined

*heeseung walks back in, eyebrows furrowed at the conversation they’re having. he sets the snacks down on the table and sits down*

heeseung: didn’t expect it to get deep today

jake: sorry guys

jay: it’s okay, i like our deep convos

heeseung: jake? you wanna ask your question?

jake: oh yeah! *he pulls out his phone to see his layout of todays episode* okay first off, what do you guys think your icks are in relationships. or talking stage or anything really.

jay: this is a hot take but just being overly rude.

*heeseung, jake, and sunghoon hum in agreement*

jay: i think it’s kind of annoying but also just mean. like i understand the occasional joking manner but being mean to people unprompted is so weird.

sunghoon: i agree, i think it really displays what kind of person you are. like why are you being mean to people you’ve never even met. let alone don’t even know.

heeseung: i feel like it depends on the situation you know. could be one of those things where she seems rude but in reality she’s not.

jay: i guess so, but i still just find it weird. i understand being closed off with your emotions but i think just being rude without any reasoning is just mean.

jake: i understand that. personally an ick for me is someone who has a big ego not in like a funny way but in a way they always have to one up you. it’s like the relationship is a competition almost

sunghoon: mmm see ive met some people like that, i do feel like there’s some underlying trauma that makes them do that you know. *sunghoon opens the bag of snacks in front of him and takes a chip out, angling the bag towards the others and they dig in.*

jay: i think what jake is trying to say is that they’re just really full of themselves. like they think they can do any wrong

sunghoon: that’s just a shitty person to be around.

heeseung: an ick for me is someone who doesn’t know how to dress

*heeseung looks to the other boys and they burst out laughing at the change of mood.*

jay: i love how we talked about deep things and heeseungs is so surface level

heeseung: okay im sorry! i would want my partner to just dress nice it’s not hard to ask

sunghoon: i don’t think ive ever talked to a girl who didn’t have style

heeseung: me either but there’s people out there

jake: *laughs* okay hee. what about you hoon?

sunghoon: *he thinks whilst he’s trying to build* maybe insecure people?

jay: okay that’s a bit of a hot take

sunghoon: not like that. i understand people have insecurities it’s just annoying because at some point those insecurities will just go onto your shoulders that’s not something i want. i’m not the most confident person but at the same time i am confident in my own skin so i guess i would want someone like that

heeseung: i get it, sometimes people like that can drag you down with them. it’s entirely too draining

sunghoon: i just want to have fun in my relationship. like i don’t want it to be too tolling

jake: but what good is a relationship if you don’t have to work for it?

sunghoon: you have a point. ugh why can’t you be wrong like always

*jay laughs, jake rolls his eyes at sunghoon and chuckles a little*

jake: you’re annoying

sunghoon: yeah but you love me

heeseung: awwww a confession

jake: shut up

*sunghoon smiles at jake’s cheeks flushing pink*

jay: i’m kind of excited for these scenarios

jake: oh they are juicy our listeners have exciting lives. the first one is this girl has a boy best friend who is really close with her crush. but it turns out she found out that the boy best friend has a crush on her and so does her crush. she doesn’t know which guy to pick because they’re both equally good to her but she’s starting to like both of them.

heeseung: oh that’s messy. move cities?

jay: be serious heeseung

heeseung: no i would like actually have to move cities if that were to happen. that’s such a difficult choice.

jay: the question is did she really even like her crush if she’s starting to like her boy best friend?

sunghoon: ooo you’re right. it’s like they say, you didn’t actually love the first if you fall for the second

jake: wise words spoken from park sunghoon

sunghoon: i read that on a facebook post

*the four of them laugh at sunghoons analogy*

heeseung: i guess just pick whichever one you like more.

jake: okay just to spin it around for you guys. what if they’re actively fighting over her and it’s ruining their friendship so if she picked one the other wouldn’t talk to either of them again.

jay: oh that’s hard.. i have to agree with heeseung move cities

jake: guys come on! real advice!

jay: ugh fine.

heeseung: well.. was their friendship really that strong if they’re fighting over a girl of all things.

sunghoon: oh you’re right. they weren’t ever really friends if a girl came between them. it just proves the friendship was weak at the start so she shouldn’t have to feel that bad about it because they couldn’t have been that close.

jay: but what if that just reflects that her and the guys future relationship will be just as weak as that friendship.

jake: hey why’d you twist it!

jay: sorryy *he smiles at jake and he rolls his eyes, continuing to build*

heeseung: easy get over them

jake: that’s not a good answer

heeseung: okay fine then she should choose herself. she doesn’t need that kind of toxicity in her life

sunghoon: yeah i agree

jay: same here

jake: okay next! this guy says “recently my girlfriend told me that she’s questioning her sexuality, i want to be there for her and help her through whatever she is going through but would it be selfish for me to put myself first and break up with her?” *jay and heeseungs eyes widened as jake kept reading the message*

sunghoon: well. i mean it’s clear she doesn’t feel the same way for him anymore so i don’t think he’s wrong to break up with her

heeseung: is it like he’s scared she’s gonna cheat on him?

jay: i think it’s just because he knows her heart isn’t in it anymore. which is fine it happens to everyone.

heeseung: okay, then yeah it’s not wrong to break up. i would say though continue to be her friend if he still wanted to be there for her

jay: yeah, i agree with that. it’s completely reasonable to break up if it’s already like been made aware that one person doesn’t feel the spark anymore. there’s no point in staying together

jake: how would you guys feel? if you were the guy.

sunghoon: i’d be hurt because break ups suck but at the same time i can’t do much. it’s like sorta out of your hands.

heeseung: yeah, i mean if she’s questioning her sexuality that’s okay but i would have to put myself first and step out of the relationship

jake: okay okay. so last scenario, “my friend group is drifting apart because two of our friends dated and broke up. one of them cheated but the person who cheated is my closest friend in the whole world. what do i do”

*heeseung jay and sunghoon all collectively have the same facial expression*

heeseung: the fuck.

jay: i would seriously be questioning the friendship

sunghoon: what do you mean

jay: think about it, if someone can be in a relationship claim to love someone then cheat on them what does that say about what kind of friend they are.

sunghoon: oh.. you’re so right.

heeseung: wait so these two people who dated were in the same friend group and because of that they’re taking sides?

jake: yeah, they didn’t clarify but i’m sure that’s what they meant.

heeseung: what kind of bullshit is that? friends shouldn’t be dragging the other in their relationship. it doesn’t matter if they broke up you shouldn’t have to take sides

jay: i mean it makes a bit of sense, the guy cheated so who would wanna be friends with a cheater

sunghoon: i agree with jay, i would seriously drop that guy even if he was my best friend. it takes an evil spawn of satan to cheat on someone

*jay and jake side eye each other then laugh at sunghoons word choice. heeseung joins in and sunghoon laughs along*

jake: you have such a way with words

sunghoon: it’s like the evilest thing ever dude

jay: hes so real because if i got cheated on i would wonder where the fuck did i find this super villain

heeseung: imagine cheaters have groupchats and when they’re picking their targets they’re like “tonight we steal ze moon!!” *in gru impression*

*the boys laugh harder, the topic they were talking about now completely lost*

jake: no i think that’s so accurate. i really do think it is like that

sunghoon: i think yeah i would drop the dude

heeseung: i agree

jay: okay jake what the fuck are we building

*the separate pieces now finished, the boys look at them in confusion. jake smiles and gestures them to slide it to him. he begins putting it together while the other are snacking. he hides the finished piece behind his back*

jake: okay guess what?

heeseung: what?

jake: chicken butt!!! *jake pulls out the finished build behind his back and it is indeed a chicken butt*

*the three of them stare in silence whilst jake laughs, completely losing his mind at the immature joke.*

jay: is it too late to quit this podcast

sunghoon: i’m right there with you

heeseung: we’ve been here for like an hour and a half and you made us build one big gigantic chicken butt?!

jake: perhaps *giggle*

sunghoon: how did you even find it

jake: it’s off brand lego. they make them custom it takes months

jay: you’ve been preparing this for MONTHS?!

jake: yes it’s literally perfect

heeseung: oh my god

sunghoon: ugh you’re so annoying

jake: that’s a compliment.

*jay looks at the build then starts laughing, heeseung and sunghoon laughing with him.*

jake: told you!

heeseung: we should put it here in the room somewhere

sunghoon: oh yeah i agree.

jay: this was actually fun

jake: oh wait guys give me a snack review

heeseung: umm okay. i think the chips were an 8/10 i don’t enjoy honey mustard chips but they were good. and the candies were also like a 7/10

jake: i hate you okay next

heeseung: what the fuck-

sunghoon: 0/10 for both because i paid

jake: that’s just mean

sunghoon: im sorry?? you made me drive you and pay. which by the way am i taking you home

jake: yeah.. can you please *he smiles at sunghoon*

sunghoon: of course. did you wanna get something to eat

jake: ughh yeah

jay: no fair why are you guys going out on a date without us

heeseung: yeah what the hell

jake: well because this is heeseungs house? and its not our fault you're here all the time jay

sunghoon: i mean we could always just eat here. you okay with that? *sunghoon looks to jake and he nods*

heeseung: let’s just order food then. jay can pay

jay: what the fuck?

jake: not all of us have trust funds

sunghoon: yeah

jay: i think heeseung should pay because he cut my paycheck

heeseung: you were late! you know the policy you goofball

*jay starts laughing at heeseungs insult and heeseung laughs with him*

jake: they can’t be serious for two seconds

sunghoon: like you’re any different let’s just split

jay: yeah okay fine

jake: okay now rate my snacks jay!

jay: i think they were 10/10 and i love whatever jake gives me.

jake: this is why you’re my favorite

jay: okay no i hate you

*heeseung and sunghoon laugh at jake’s expression*

jay: you’re weird about the whole girlfriend thing!

jake: hinge is restricting!!

heeseung: okay just sign out god we can argue some other time

jake: this is not arguing! this is healthy communicating take notes guys!

jay: false our relationship is nowhere near healthy he’s mean to me. *sunghoon and heeseung laugh some more, making jay laugh with them*

jake: *speaking louder over all of the laughing* okay well thanks for joining us today at round table, please like share and comment on this video and we’ll see you guys next week! bye bye!!

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » got carried away.. as always. this chapter may seem filler ish but i wanted you all to get to know round table and their silly selves a bit better 😕 pls don’t hate them guys

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