#i also want for a coffee with a friend and mentor of mine and it was so nice!!! 🥺

[studiousandrogynousfox-blog]

admin and applications

being unemployed is a lot of work! so much admin! i've tackled the most urgent bits and will tackle more tomorrow. after last week i realised that it's important i go do that work in some public place when possible because otherwise it'll encroach on my evenings

applying for jobs is also so weird. i oscillate between i'd like to do this job and it would be too challenging and i actually only want to work part time and not nearly full time

[sweetkpopmusings]

hongjoong coworker headcanons <3

a/n: a whole bunch of people got laid off at my company today, so it only seems right that i cope by escaping into thoughts of coworker!ateez <3 please enjoy the precious gem that is coworker!hongjoong :,-) pics not mine~

content: fluff, nonidol!au | wc: 1k | warnings: none really! one mention of food | pairing: coworker!hongjoong x gn!reader | requests: open

everyone, and i mean absolutely everyone, wants to be mentored by hongjoong

they don’t care if they aren’t even in the same department as hongjoong

they just KNOW that he is the best ally and support system to have in the office

everyone also says his face is a workplace perk most people are too scared to say thing within earshot of hongjoong lmao

hongjoong knows everything people say about him, but he doesn’t let on

instead, he simply does his job and minds his business

things change when you start working at the company

you were hired in not only the same department, but same team as hongjoong

so your supervisor assigned hongjoong as your mentor

hongjoong, ever the professional, happily accepts and promises to train you well, so you can succeed in your new role

this all happens before you have a chance to learn hongjoong’s lore at the office

so you are wildly confused by the shocked and jealous stares from your coworkers as hongjoong walks you to your desk

it also feels suspicious that seemingly everybody is walking by your desk while hongjoong gives you a brief introduction to workflows, programs, etc.

but you, like hongjoong, are just trying to mind your business and do your job

which is actually super easy because hongjoong knows every single hack, automation, etc that means you can get your work done without being slowed down by tedious tasks

he’s a genius but so casual about it that you’re just sitting there like :-0 ??? how does he know everything ???

he chuckles when he sees your face and assures you that it’s just because he’s been there for ages and that soon enough you’ll be exactly the same way

you doubt it but appreciate his confidence in you LOL

at the end of your first week, hongjoong offers to take you to lunch

he says your boss is paying for it because it is “team bonding” so you agree 

what you didn’t know was that this team bonding would include hongjoong spilling ALL the tea in the office

he wasn’t gossiping in a cruel way, but he felt it was his duty, as your mentor, to give context on all the looks you were receiving

hongjoong finds it hilarious and adorable when you look at him with an absolutely shocked face

he just sits back while it sinks in for you, and, based on your reaction, hongjoong knows for sure that he finally has a friend in the office

he can tell that you won’t treat him like he’s different, which is a massive relief for him

so, from that day on, he makes it his mission to be both an amazing mentor AND a good friend

he stops by your desk for little check-ins and spends his breaks with you, whether sipping on coffee or walking around outside

hongjoong remembers everything you tell him about your life like he’s an incredible listener

you joke that it’s creepy he pays SO much attention to every detail you share and he says his resume didn’t say “detailed-oriented” for nothing

that is the moment you realize he is a complete dork LOL

speaking of dorky hongjoong

whenever he offers you a “cheer up!” or “you’ve got this!” it feels so much like a proud parent cheering on their child

he complains when you say this because “at least i should be an older brother but a DAD?!?!”

hongjoong is sulky but that goes away as soon as you buy him his favorite drink

you also changed his contact to “dad” but he doesn’t need to know that <3

he isn’t beating the dad/older brother allegations any time soon because he nags you once he gets comfortable with you 

it’s always with a smile on his face and full of care

but he will nag you about keeping your desk clean, using better handwriting, making your presentations more stylistic, etc

like sorry when did he become a judge instead of a mentor ???

it’s okay though because he lets you return the favor by nagging him constantly <3

hongjoong pretends not to like it when you nag him, but it fills his heart because that means you’re comfortable with him too :,-)

it also adds to everyone’s jealousy because you two are CLEARLY close and hongjoong finds their envy ridiculous and hilarious 

he definitely brags about how close you two are like he thinks you’re incredible and that everyone should be jealous they don’t know you like he does

somehow dating rumors start of course and when asked about it, you and hongjoong always reply with “wouldn’t you like to know”

hongjoong made you promise to give that answer because he thinks it’s fun to mess with everyone LMAO

he has so much fun with you that, to show his appreciation, hongjoong gets you a gift for your one-year anniversary at the company, including a handwritten note

he makes you promise not to open it while he’s with you because he doesn’t want either of you to feel awkward

later, once you read the note, you understand exactly why he requested this

the note starts with him praising your work ethic and improvement because he’s a proud mentor :,-)

at the end, he confesses that, before you started working there, he felt pretty isolated

it was like he was on an island or in a fish bowl, being watched from afar by everyone else

after that first lunch, and the many, many conversations you shared afterward, hongjoong finally felt like he belonged there

you made hongjoong feel like he belonged

that was something he was immensely grateful for, so he promised to pay you back by supporting you as a coworker and person, so you never felt like you were alone or an outsider

hongjoong tries to play it off the next time he sees you, but the sparkle in his eye when you thank him for being such a good colleague and friend reveals just how much he cherishes you in the workplace and beyond <333

[blushingbubbles]

Saw your post about wanting to write and thought I’d send a setting and let your mind run wild and share with us what you come up with.

The setting is a free use city. Everyone is of legal age and clean. Anyone wearing a collar is free use to anyone. Any man/woman could take you at any time. Waiting in line for food and the man behind you starts fingering you. At the register a free use woman is being fucked by the manager while you give your order. When you get on the bus, the driver grabs you to suck his cock while he drives and doesn’t let you go when your stop comes up. Your home has no locks and men can come and go in the night as they please.

How do you see a day living like this going?

first of all, thank you for giving the addendumn that everyone is clean and legal 🥰

this is a free use society marked by color-coded collars -- green for newbies (which are observers ONLY), blue for novices (who can be used ONLY by other novices and are also MENTORED by silves), and silvers (to be used by EVERYONE).

also cameramen take shifts night & day to film the sex happening in the city. they stream it all live, and people across the world can subscribe to see it. the subscription prices cover every civilian's taxes because im sick of paying mine lol

and i added a little tech in here too for like an extra layer of consent bc extra consent is extra sexy

this is SO FREAKING LONG SORRY NOT SORRY

It's 1:30 in the morning when the collar vibrates for the first time. The movement isn't enough to completely wake me. By now, I've gotten used to the sensation, the shifting coolness against my skin.

Someone's reserved me -- likely Charlie, the bartender in the apartment just above mine.

But it's only likely. I won't know for sure until they arrive.

The collar vibrates again at 1:40, and my eyes flicker open. If I really wanted to, I could disable the vibrations. If I really really wanted to, like some of my friends, I could take the collar off at night.

The system would label me "offline," my door would automatically lock, and I wouldn't be woken at 1:30 in the morning. But by this point it's a habit to keep it on.

The collar vibrates again, a third and final time, and my front door opens.

Charlie calls my name through the apartment. When I dont answer, he wanders the hall to my bedroom. His belt is already off. I wave at him from the pile of blankets.

"Hi."

He smiles, his belt hits the floor, and he unbuttons his dark jeans. "Thought for sure you'd be asleep."

I yawn and stretch, pointing to the silver collar winking in the light. "It woke me up. Do you want me to be asleep?"

His shirt went next. Then his boxers.

"No, but if I woke you up and you knew it was me without opening your eyes, it'd be hot as fuck."

"I'd always know," I admit. He grins and attempts to untangle my legs from the blankets. "You smell like whiskey. Like...all the time."

"That bad?"

"After leaving the bar? It's a dead giveaway."

When my legs are free, he rolls me onto my side. The little purple numbers on the nightstand clock glow back at me.

My back presses flush against his chest, and despite me lifting my leg for easier access, I feel myself on the verge of another yawn.

He kneads my tits and groans in my ear, "Fuckin' missed these."

Half a moment later, he slips inside me, and we both gasp.

The clock reads 1:59.

--

Sundays are my favorite day of the week. After changing my sheets and tidying my apartment, I stick an arm out the window to test the temperature.

On the street below, a woman moans. From the fire escape, I can see them both. The man kneeling before her wears a silver collar resembling my own, and she's grasping on the wall behind her, her chin tipped up. Next to them a man wearing a black vest films. It's Sam, this side of the city's morning videographer.

I get coffee with my friend Ash and we sit outside, enjoying the spring breeze. They play with their collar -- blue now instead of green.

"So I stayed online yesterday," they admit, and I gasp.

"How was it? Did you get any visitors?"

"Last night."

I squeal, tapping my feet on the pavement.

"Just the one! No more."

"No that's perfect, I'm glad," I say, taking another sip of my tea. "I know it might be frustrating, but it's better than being thrown in the deep end."

Until three days ago, Ash's collar and status was green: observer. The blue one signifies something else, a step further into the community. Now, they're free to service three other blue-statuses per day.

My next words halt at an approaching shadow.

"Good morning," Ash smiles.

"Morning," he says. He takes in both of our collars before nodding pointedly at me, and I stand from my chair.

He unzips his pants as he sits down. Toward me, he points at the ground. Two green collars sitting to my left turn to look.

Ash props their face in their hand while my knees meet the pavement. The stranger tugs the front of my dress down until my tits spring free.

"Better," he sighs, and I smile.

My hand secures around his length and I begin to stroke his hardening cock. He glances at Ash.

"How much longer do you have to go for silver?"

I draw him closer to my lips. Saliva pools in my mouth, coating my tongue, and I draw half of his length in. More saliva spills out, and I use it to work the base of his shaft.

"I just changed over three days ago, so about a month."

I hollow my cheeks and rise before taking him deeper. He grunts, his hand reaching for my hair.

"This your first training session?"

"No," Ash laughed. "She took me out on Friday. We went to Cobalt."

I remember the night and resist a smile, taking his cock to the back of my throat.

"Cobalt's--" he stumbles over his words. "--P--erfect."

"We had a lot of fun."

I brush a knuckle softly over the the underside of his shaft, and his breath hitches. "I'll bet."

"She's a very thorough teacher."

He breaches the back of my throat and stops speaking entirely. When the wind picks up, he pulls my hair from my face. Ash adjusts their chair, peering over the table at me.

My eyes flick up to meet his own, and his orgasm takes both of us by surprise. Startled, I gag on his cum, and some slips from my mouth. My tongue darts out to catch it before it seeps into his pants.

"Very thorough teacher," he agrees. For the next minute I clean him of my spit before tucking him back into his pants. He helps me stand from the pavement and brushes the pebbles embedded in my knees.

Before departing, he squeezes each of my still-exposed tits. "Keep these out today."

I take the seat he just vacated and grin at the green collars sitting nearby.

"Hi."

I could write forever abt this but this has gone on so so so long lmk if u want another part 🫠

[unboundprompts]

Hero and Villain Prompts

↳ a masterpost for hero and villain writing prompts

↳ (#) is from my collection of random prompts, (list) contains multiple prompts.

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.

I also have a Patreon! Become a member to gain access to a Member's Only Community where you can chat and message other members and myself. Also gain access to my personal writing, which includes completed short stories, chapters from novels in progress, as well as completed scenes.

How to Write a Good Villain

How to Make Readers Fear Your Villain

Hero and Villain Banter:

You're Sick (#1)

Hell to Pay (#27)

Responses to Someone Trying to Stab You (list)

Responses to Being Punched (list)

Hero and Villain Angst:

This Devil Within Me (#15)

This Heart of Mine (#16)

Alone in the World (#42)

Hero Realizing the Villain is Right (list)

Prompts About Being Stalked (list)

Hero is told by Villain that their Friend Betrayed them (list)

No Fight Left (#118)

Betrayed Your Kind (#123)

Powers Getting Stronger (#126)

The Hero Chooses to Save the World Instead of Their Lover (list)

Who Decided We Were Enemies? (#135)

I Am Not The One Who Can Help You (#137)

I Can't Control It (#146)

The Line Between Hero and Human (#166)

Enemy Soldiers Working Together (list)

Hero x Villain Prompts:

Hero Avenges Villain

Rivals to Friends Dialogue (list)

Love Me or Fear Me (#40)

Fated Villain x Hero (list)

Hero and Villain Whump:

The Consequences to Follow (#28)

The Antidote (#43)

The Sedative (#122)

It's Over (#176)

Villain and Villain Prompts:

The Decoy (#46)

Two Jerk Best Friends (list)

Villain x Villain (list)

Two Dystopian Killers/Criminals (list)

Superpower Prompts:

The Visions (#65)

Civilian Prompts:

Civilian that Patches Hero's Injuries (list)

Hero Struggling to Balance their Civilian Life (list)

Hero Removing Their Mask / Identity Exposed (list)

Sidekick Prompts:

Devoted Sidekick x Hero-Turned-Villain (list)

Villain x Hero's Sidekick

Mentor Prompts:

The Aftermath of Student's Fight with Villain

[persona5butitsincorrect]

thoughts on shuharu/headcanons?

Its not my personal favourite ship for either of them but it's definitely my favorite for Akira/Ren/whatever you wanna call him x any of the other female phantom thieves. I mean to me she was the only one who seemed like she already liked him during her confidant in the game and they do look pretty cute together as well as seem to have a matching temprement. I also feel like I can acc see a future for them as (at least as for what I imagine for Ren) running or working in a small cafe like Leblanc would suit him. As for what I imagine they'd be like in a relationship here's a couple headcannons of mine:

Lots of coffee dates, Haru would make a point of wanting to discover new obscure restaurants and cafes, and of course Ren will follow suit. Not that he doesn't enjoy it mind.

Mans whipped (😏) and pretty much owns it.

In all seriousness, it's more like he enjoys seeing her doing things that make her happy, since he knows she wasn't for so long.

When it's his turn to decide what that do on dates/days out, it's usually movies or the arcades. They're both surprisingly nuts for horror. And the part timer working at the theatre in shibuya knows their faces by now and always seems slightly afraid.

Same goes for anyone in the arcades, naturally, Haru calls out the most horrendous sadistic stuff like in mementos while they play first person shooters. It's like she forgets she's in public sometimes. Ren finds seeing peoples shocked faces pretty funny.

When Ren moves back home Haru winds up coming to visit for a majority of the summer. Out in the country, she stands out like a sore thumb even more than in Tokyo. She hadn't not been in a city before and seemed to imagine it being a lot more different than it actually is.

His parents though mostly absent are incredibly confused by her sudden surprise arrival in a chauffer, with four suitcases of clothes (she knew she was staying quite a while). Especially as they'd never even heard of her.

Ren hadn't brought her up mainly because they didn't need to know, just like they hadn't bothered to call once when he was in Tokyo, he hadn't bothered to say anything.

Honestly, Ren had very few friends at home, even less after everything that happened. And the people who did still hang around seemed to have an issue with Haru. In general she has this level of unintentional classism-- she just kind of forgets certain things are a luxury and not everyday. And it seemed to be the main thing that was putting people off tho her. It really annoyed him but he didn't really know what to do about it except from distance himself.

It was all making him really regret moving home. So much so he wound up making plans for how he'd move back to Tokyo after finishing his 3rd year of high-school and what he'd actually do with himself once he did. Plans Haru and Makoto helped him draw up.

He, like Haru, wants to run some kind of small private run cafe. Sojiro is mentoring them both. They're heavily considering the possibility of going in on the buisness venture together but it's still very much early days.

Both of them have a keen interest in French literature. Which is part of what got them both talking to eachother outside of the group in the first place. They exchange annotated books a lot - haru using purple post it's and Ren using red.

After her "Relationship" with Sugimura, Haru isn't all that comfortable with physical affection. She especially hates feeling vulnerable. It's a very slow process for her to feel secure again. Luckily Ren is very aware of that and incredibly patient. Partly because he feels the exact same way. After being caught in Sae's palace, battered and dosed up, losing his autonomy and feeling out of control. It all bore on his mental wellbeing a lot. That understanding between them is part of what makes them feel safe around eachother.

Ren has a pretty hard time getting to sleep. He thinks maybe a part of him is Afraid he'll wind up in the velvet room again. Most of the time Haru tries to stay awake with him or offer to stay up so he feels less alone and in danger. But 99% of the time she winds up conking out, of course only after half an hour as incoherent slurred talking whilst she denies she's even tired.

In line with all this, Haru still has moments where she gets incredibly upset or distressed and isn't sure how to communicate it. The way Ren chooses to respond is to give her physical space but stay with her. A majority of the time they don't talk and he just sits by her, letting her come to him if she wants/needs anything (usually a hug once she's calmed down).

There's a lot of hand holding between them. If there sat idly somewhere haru tends to grab Rens hand and trace it's edges with her finger out of boredom.

She's definitely a snorer. But it's a cute snore. Like a little toot noise every so often. That actually does help Ren sleep.

Whilst he already has a pretty good sense of fashion. Harus always wanting to dress him up, and a majority of the time he let's her.

One time Ann suggested she should try and get him to wear a dress, not expecting the fact he was more than happy to. Even more so he pulled it off with way more confidence than anything any of them had ever seen. (Ryuji discovered something about himself that day)

When there together they have this peaceful quiet sometimes, both of them enjoy just stopping and listening to the world around them (which cannot be said for some of their other friends). As well as this they have this way of being able to communicate without words. When they're in group settings it drives everyone else insane trying to figure out what the difference is between their different stares at one another mean and how they developed such a language.

[mayflora-18]

Fact Drop #2

Sherlock has black-brown hair. When she was in school she had bowl cut bangs and thinner eyes so she was made fun of for being Asian-American (even though she isn’t really Asian-American)

Yellow lab energy

5’3.75”

Wears wireframe aviator glasses when doing paperwork; has a black and silver pair

Favorite toy: grizzly bear plush

Normally prefers violence as a last resort; “Ask first, shoot later” kinda girl but will fight if 💩 goes south

Nik usually keeps her out of the field if he can. If he can’t however then she HAS to either be with him or communicate with him on a regular basis

Incorrect quote #3

Graves: Who’s that?

Nikolai: Her? That’s Sherlock, our resident background investigator.

Graves: Cool, she’s mine now.

Nikolai: The fuck she is!

Graves, hoisting a very confused Sherlock over his shoulder: Try and stop me!

Sherlock, knowing Graves can’t be trusted but he’s got her in a fireman’s carry: Unhand me-

Grizzly bear plush (named Logan) was given to her by Nik as a “signing bonus”. Has another bat plush named Morty that she’s had since childhood and doesn’t leave her desk

Will offer Morty to whoever needs something to hug

Doesn’t receive as much bullying as she thought she would; either because of Nik’s almost constant presence giving her scary dog privileges or because of the slap incident

Has various handmade soft blankets/pillows/plushies

One of the few people that wasn’t afraid of Ghost when she first met him because she loves skulls

She wins him over with jokes

Nikolai’s niece through his little sister ⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️

Has trust issues because of mentor in Army

She has unusually high ESP. Price tested it once by calling her a busybody in his head, and she asks him, “Is that a nice thing to say?”

Lucky to get > 4 four hours of sleep due to insomnia

Reads books to fall asleep

Is a night owl and requires a full pot of coffee to fully wake up and go about her day

Counters everything Nik is (Cory Matthews x Shawn Hunter vibes)

Sherlock is that person that will do parkour to get things off the top shelf and ultimately scare the 💩 out of the taller military men

She’s also the person that will pick you up and carry you away if you’re annoying her or there’s danger

Is less a background investigator and more of Nik’s assistant

Incorrect quote #4

*Nik and Price are having an argument over something ridiculous*

Gaz: Should we do something?

Sherlock: I’m already smoking and laughing. What more do you want?

Tries to avoid operating on the field whenever possible

Visits family when on leave (if she has leave)

Breakfast food and dirty chais are the way to her heart

Sherlock is a believer of what she calls Lightman’s Law: “Every Homo sapien can and should be trusted to lie.” As a result it is very rare for her to approach anyone unfamiliar for the first time with any hostility or distrust

König wants to be friends with Sherlock but doesn’t really know how to approach her. He’s seen her interact with the field operators in Chimera and TF141 and really wants her to be his “mom friend”

Incorrect quote #5:

Random soldier: *talking down to König for some stupid reason*

König: *stopped trying to appease them a while ago and is now hanging his head*

Sherlock: *walking by and sees this* Hey! Are we on a coffee break?

*Random soldier and König both turn to look at her and see that she is irritated by what she sees*

Random soldier, dumbly: I-I don’t drink coffee-

Sherlock: Well then I guess the break is over. Get back to work, thank you!

Random soldier: *bolts out of there, embarrassed*

König:

Sherlock: You’ll get there, sweetie, you just gotta put a little zing into it. *walks away*

König, thinking: I can’t believe I just talked to a woman!

(He didn’t talk at all.)

Makes blankets that are soft enough to tranquilize upon drapery

Avoids conflict but will fight/kill when provoked (hit on, friends in fight, loved ones at gunpoint)

Exercise = morning walk + yoga + powerlift

Can carry grown men like toddlers

Abby Sciuto + Spencer Reid love child energy (ft. Penelope Garcia and Radar) at work

Nik & Sherlock = Grunkle Stan & Mabel Pines energy

High tolerance for extreme temperatures/pain/painkillers/alcohol

Her dad loves her. He just doesn’t know how to cater to her happiness and mental well-being

Loves Halloween so she can jumpscare her second eldest brother

Is capable of shovel talk

[drabsyo]

Hey drabs,

Firstly, I'm so sorry for my whack English for it's my second language. And I know this is an ask box, but this is the only way I know to send you message anonymously in case this message sounded cringier than what's in my head. lol.

I wanted to say that I hope everything is going well for you because I know that looking for a job these days feels like looking for diamond in a gold mine, which basically almost impossible and I myself is also looking for a job.

And also, I wanted to share a few things in case you get ghosted by the company after weeks of the interview.

1. Have you ever tried Glints or LinkedIn? I don't know what your line of work but perhaps you want to try to apply through those two apps maybe?

2. If the point above still doesn't work, perhaps you should try internship first. I got my first job right after graduating high school because my mentor saw my works are good enough and he recommend me to his boss. But then again, these kinda things are also based on luck, and not to mention that most companies don't pay their intern, so hopefully we don't have to use this tips.

I also wanted to share somethings that helped me to stay sane and during times like that.

1. Don't forget to eat and stay hydrated. As long as you stay hydrated and not hungry, you'll be more focused on the questions the interviewer asked.

2. Don't stay up late. Same goes like the point above, you'll be more focus and have more energy if you sleep enough. And If you're a night owl like me, well... don't forget to drink coffee after you woke up. lol.

3. After all the interviews done for the day, don't forget to reward yourself. Regardless of what happened or whether or not you're accepted, don't forget to reward yourself. It doesn't have to be something grand, something small can do. For me, I usually eat my comfort food that is those korean instant ramen or have a little gaming session.

I know these stuff are basically generic, but I just wanted you to know that no matter what, you are awesome. Sending you all my support and hugs, good luck Drabs ❤

Hey anon! Oh my goshhh first of all, thank you so much for this. It's been a rough few months, exhausting really. I received your message right after I finished my interview, and I know it sounds lame, but it almost made me cry! To know that you care enough about me to leave me this message is so heart warming. So. Thank you. ❤

Your English is wonderful, please don't ever apologize for that and this message is not cringe at all, FAR from it. I'm saving this ask!

I haven't tried Glints or LinkedIn yet. It's also the first time I've heard of Glints, so I might give it a shot. Thank you for the tip! I'll go check it out. My usual method has been applying for jobs on JobStreet.

Glad to hear your mentor was really impressed by your works!!! ❤ I did have an internship before, but the company where I had my internship in ran out of budget for our department so they weren't hiring. Plus, my supervisor from there also resigned. And I was also the unpaid intern!

I keep forgetting to stay hydrated. Yesterday, the interviewer made us wait for an hour and twenty minutes before the interview started and no one would tell us what was happening. I was so thirsty, it was embarrassing. Not to mention I had a fever, yikes. Hope you're staying hydrated on your job hunt too ❤

Ughhgghh I am a night owl too and I absolutely hate it, anon. I love it, but I also hate it? You know what I mean. I am looking into night shift options though. My friends who work the graveyard shift tell me it's disorienting. Maybe we should consider it, what with us being night owls and all? Hm.

Yes!! A quick gaming session does wonders for my anxiety after an interview. That, or I play some music really loud to tune out my thoughts for the day. Or I just lay in bed. Pet my cat. Read fanfiction. Go on tumblr. And now, I have this ask to go back to too ❤ It's the small wins, for sure. I'm happy to hear you give yourself these small rewards too ❤

Anon, this means a lot to me. Grinned like an idiot reading your tips. And please, take your own advice too. Stay hydrated, do things that make you happy, try to get 8 hours of sleep, and take care of yourself. I sincerely hope you're doing great, staying healthy, and are loved. World's tough. Really tough. You've got me in your corner, anon! Sending you hugs!!!! And all my love ❤❤❤

[kvibe-test]

Taking the Leap: Interning Abroad for the First Time

When I first entertained the idea of interning abroad, it felt almost unreal. The prospect of packing up my belongings and moving to a new country for a few months brought with it equal parts excitement and apprehension. At the time, I was finishing up my third year of university, and the thought of stepping out of my comfort zone and diving into a completely different culture was both exhilarating and terrifying.

I remember having long conversations with my friends and family about my intentions. My friend Sarah was particularly supportive. "Just imagine the stories you'll have to tell and the people you’ll meet," she would say, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. I suppose deep down, I knew this was something I wanted—needed—to do. But the overarching question remained: why?

Factors Influencing My Decision

Several factors influenced my decision to seriously consider interning abroad. Firstly, the urge to experience a new culture was stronger than ever. Growing up, I had always been surrounded by stories of my parents' travels and adventures. Now, it seemed like my moment to create my own.

Secondly, career development played a significant role. In today’s globalized world, having international experience on my resume seemed invaluable. "Imagine the edge it will give you in job interviews," my mentor, Mr. Davis, often reminded me. He once mentioned, "Employers are constantly on the lookout for candidates who have demonstrated adaptability and cultural competence."

Moreover, I was drawn by the opportunity to build a global network. Being connected with professionals and fellow interns from around the world could open doors I hadn't even dared to dream of. The thought of attending networking events and learning from industry leaders in another country was tantalizing. I could picture myself exchanging ideas with my peers over coffee in a bustling city cafe.

Excitement and Apprehension

Yet, with all the excitement came a fair share of apprehension. The 'what-ifs' plagued my mind more than I’d care to admit. "What if I can't adjust to the culture?" I wondered late at night. Looking at my sister for support, she assured me, "Every new experience comes with its challenges, but think about how much you'll grow." Her words were a comfort.

Financial concerns were another significant worry. Living in a new country can be expensive, and the idea of managing a budget in an unfamiliar currency was daunting. I remember scouring the internet for scholarships and grants specific to international internships, bookmarking pages for further research. Aunt Marie lent a practical piece of advice: "Start saving now, and look for part-time remote jobs you can do while interning."

Fear of isolation also lingered. The thought of being away from everything I considered familiar was overwhelming at times. How would I make new friends? What if the language barrier was too much to handle? These insecurities were hard to shake, but remembering the excitement kept me going.

The Initial Research

The initial research phase was intense and, at times, overwhelming. I spent countless hours browsing through online forums and blogs of past interns. One blog, in particular, stood out. The author had interned in Tokyo and her vivid descriptions of everyday life there were captivating. Her advice was practical and, most importantly, reassuring. "It's going to be a rollercoaster of emotions," she wrote, "but every moment is worth it."

I also joined Facebook groups related to international internships. These groups were gold mines of information—suggestions on affordable housing, tips on navigating public transport, and even recommendations on where to get the best local cuisine. "People are generally very helpful if you’re willing to ask for it," one member commented when I expressed my concerns about integrating into a new community.

It wasn’t just casual browsing; I started compiling a list of potential countries and companies that appealed to me. London was high on my list—I had always been fascinated by its history and vibrant energy. However, the thought of interning in a city like Berlin, known for its start-up culture, was equally enticing.

To get a head start, I reached out to a few companies directly, inquiring about their internship programs. To my delight, some replied with information on their application process and what they looked for in candidates. Their enthusiasm was infectious, and my email correspondence with them often ended with a hopeful "looking forward to your application."

Talking to alumni from my university who had gone through similar experiences also helped. They shared their stories, from the mundane to the magical, and listening to them made the whole idea less intimidating and more achievable. "It's a leap of faith,” one of them, Mike, said, “but it's one you'll never regret."

By the time I had gathered sufficient information, my mind was made up. I didn't have all the answers, and there were still many uncertainties. Yet, the vision of immersing myself in a different culture and paving the path for future career opportunities was too compelling to ignore.

"The world is so much bigger than you think," my grandma once told me, "and you won't truly understand it until you see it for yourself." Her wisdom gave me the final push I needed. With a heart full of dreams and a mind prepared for challenges, I decided to seriously pursue an internship abroad.

This is just the beginning of my journey. In future posts, I will delve deeper into my application process, the preparations, and the experiences I will gather along the way. For now, I am ready to embark on an adventure that promises to shape not just my career, but my very outlook on life.

[mythalsknickers]

I have a long post in the works with all the dialogue in game where while it doesn't explicitly say he is demi, it is confirmation that he is on the spectrum. I clocked it long before Mary Kirby posted it as well.

I was apart of a high control religion that told pre-teen to 18 years even looking at the other gender was a sin next to murder. But at 18 we were all dumped in a church for the sole purpose of matching us up and getting us married. I tried once to reach out at this church when I attended in my early twenties. Yet I seemed to be the gateway for guys to approach my friends and I could not understand why, or why I was icked out at seeing two people who barely knew eachother making out on the desk outside of sunday school. I knew I was Bi/Pan back in highschool but as an adult I didn't understand why I could not be like allo members of my family. I found out I was demisexual from fandom, specifically a writing mentor of mine who affectionately bullied me into publishing some of my not perfect works for fandom. She pulled me aside having come from the same cultural icongraphy as mine and said "I can't tell you what you are, but I think if you go google demisexuality, that will help you understand yourself honey." I can't tell you how much I cried reading about demisexuality, I thought I was broken and wrong. No I just needed connection. As someone in an long term relationship looking at marriage. At the end of the day, all that matters to me is being able to hug and hold my partner and fall asleep to the sound of their breathing.

Excuse me I need to go cry over this romance and drink another coffee. Also if someone wants to pop into messages and explain the wyvern thing I would love you forever. (It might also explain some things about me)

Are y’all telling me you looked at Lucanis and expect him to have the understanding of himself that he’s demisexual?

The man doesn’t even realize he can buy his own wyvern tooth dagger with his own money. He’s not doing that kind of reflection.

[w-ht-w]

unpaid internships

Unpaid internships are legal if the intern is the “primary beneficiary” of the arrangement as determined by the seven-point primary beneficiary test.

If an employer is the primary beneficiary, the intern is considered an employee under the Fair Labor Standards Act and entitled to at least minimum wage. 

an intern is a primary beneficiary if they meet the following criteria: The intern is aware they will be uncompensated. Training is comparable to training received at an educational institution. The internship is tied to the intern’s current educational program (e.g., the intern is getting academic credit). The internship accommodates the intern’s academic calendar.The internship is limited to the period during which the intern receives beneficial learning. The intern’s work complements (not replaces) existing employees’ work while still providing beneficial learning. It is understood that the internship does not provide entitlement to a job at its conclusion. (x)

Some employers find that the quality of talent in a paid intern outweighs the cost-effectiveness of an unpaid intern. ... “The quality of work is always higher if you’re paying someone even a nominal amount,” ... “If the intern isn’t generating value greater than twice the minimum wage, do you really even want them there?” 

How to develop an internship program

Identify your specific goals for the internship program. Are you trying to get interns to fill needed roles or complete certain tasks in your organization? Do you want to foster talent for future hires?

Interns are not seasoned professionals; they need straightforward communication about expectations and objectives. You should be prepared to work with your interns and make sure they have clear metrics of success at your company. Furthermore, aspects of the internships should be tailored to their own professional goals and interests. They also need good mentors who can ensure they receive the attention they need to succeed not only in this role but in their later professional endeavors.  

(x)

I would only go longer than 6 months if my job as in intern was doing work that was directly pertinent to my career, this opportunity was truly unique and gave a definate leg up into my career. Fetching coffee for people doing the job you want and they expect you to just keep your ears open and learn by osmosis or being around these legends is not an internship. (x)

I can see from your profile that you have degrees in data science and economics, and especially the former is highly sought after by the NGO world at the moment - just this week I've had two calls from major international initiatives on the subject that wanted mobile connectivity, which is my field. UNHCR has an 'innovation team' set up for just these kinds of solutions, and I know that the International Rescue Committee (IRC) has a large tech and science team based in New York. And of course all the field offices constantly need technically literate staff - one friend of mine went from being local staff to a highly-desired P-3 programmer by becoming a GIS expert. The NGOs always need hard skills. (x) 

[moon-light-jukebox]

Don’t Go - [Reid x Reader]

masterlist

Summary: After being tortured by Tobias Hankel, Dr. Spencer Reid is struggling and everyone can see it. Reader can’t bear his pain and tries to comfort him...only to be heartbroken when he says their night meant nothing.  

Pairing: Spencer Reid / Fem!Reader

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 10.6k

Genre: Angst. Angst. Angst. But fluff at the end cause I’m not a monster. 

Content Warning: Talk of drug use, language, penetrative sex, oral sex (female receiving), and just angst. All the angst. Get tissue. 

A/n: This is set over the arc of episodes  2x16 - 2x18. A special thank you to @imjusthereformggcontent and @catsadams for reading through the beginning of this in its first form. You’re both angels.  I hope this is everything y’all wanted it to be, my doves. Thank you for sticking with me. 

Request prompt: Can you write a fic where Spencer is high on dilaudid and tells you that your night together was nothing and that you're nothing to him. Then the next day he can't rember telling you and and he can't figure out why you are avoiding him.

-- Don’t Go -- 

The first indication I got that today wasn’t going to be normal came when Special Agent Grant Anderson shuffled into my office just after 9:30 am. He didn’t knock before he entered and then shut the door quickly behind him.

I glanced up from the paperwork in front of me, my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “Something on your mind, Special Agent?” I teased.

Ever since Anderson made a mistake that led to SSA Elle Greenaway being shot a few months ago, a lot of people on this floor had been giving him the cold shoulder, despite the fact that Greenaway had forgiven him before she left the BAU.

When I first joined the bureau and was assigned to this unit, Anderson had been my first friend. He was there for me when I felt nervous and like I was a complete imposter. He’s the reason I was still a member of this team; I’d never turn my back on him.

“Something’s up with Reid.”

I propped both of my elbows on the desk, my chin resting on my folded hands. “Well, he was just abducted and tortured. That’s gonna have an effect on someone.”

Anderson was already shaking his head before I got done speaking. “This is different. I just tried to talk to him while he was getting some coffee. I asked him about David Tennant taking over as The Doctor and he…he snapped at me, y/l/n.”

Okay, that’s odd. “Maybe he just didn’t feel like talking,” I defended. “He was tortured, Grant.”

“I’ve known him since I started here. He’s…something is wrong.”

I leaned back, crossing my arms over my chest. “It can’t be anything too bad. I mean, he’s surrounded by profilers. His mentor is Jason Gideon for god’s sake. If something was wrong, they’d know.”

Anderson walked forward and braced his palms on my desk, his eyes boring into mine.

“Dr. Spencer Reid is also one of the best profilers in the world. I’m telling you, y/n, something is wrong.”

I conceded with a sigh. “What do we do?”

“I think you should talk to him.”

My spine stiffened. “Me? Why?” But I knew why.

Anderson scoffed. “You know how he looks at you. And I know how you look at him.”

Dr. Spencer Reid’s nervousness around me could have been blamed on many things, Anderson insisted it meant he liked me. I wasn’t convinced…because I saw how he looked at JJ.

How I looked at Reid was obvious. He was the most brilliant man I had ever met, he was kind, sweet, and his eyes sparkled when he talked about something he loved. My heart fluttered when he realized he was rambling and he blushed, and my day was made whenever he would seek me out to talk to me.

I had a crush on Spencer Reid.

“Alright,” I said. “I’ll talk to him.”

He shot me a relieved smile and backed away from the desk. “Sooner than later, please.”

Such a sassy bitch, I thought as he shut the door.

--

It was well after 6 pm when I gathered my things to leave the office that day. I had been hired as one of the many, many agents that worked under JJ. Media liaison wasn't her only role; she also fielded hundreds of requests for FBI assistance every week. It was my job to go through those requests, make initial judgments, and then send out responses.

I had always been happier working behind the scenes, so a job filled with paperwork suited me just fine. All I wanted to do was help catch bad guys, and with the BAU I felt like I was making a difference.

Speaking to Reid had been on my mind all day, but I had expected that I'd have the night to think up a plan of attack then talk to him first thing in the morning, but when I walked past the bullpen I saw him at his desk.

The entire floor appeared to be empty apart from him. His shoulders were hunched, his head resting in his hands.

I was opening the doors before I realized what was happening. I had crossed the distance until I was standing in front of him before I even knew what I was going to say.

“Reid,” I said softly. I almost touched him, but I didn’t think he’d like that. He didn’t seem to like to be touched.

His head snapped up; the circles under his eyes were darker than normal, his hair was messier than usual, and his clothing was in disarray. He cleared his throat, his tongue running over his dry lips.

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to.

"I can't imagine what you're going through," I began, standing at the end of his desk. "I don't even know how to begin to think about it. So, I won't ask you to talk about it. I won't ask you to talk at all. I just…I just want you to know that I'm here if you just want a friend. If you want to grab some coffee and talk about nothing…whatever."

Those warm brown eyes were duller than I’d ever seen them, but they ran over my entire body quizzically, like he wasn’t sure I was even there.

After a beat, I decided it was best to leave him to it. I couldn't force him to accept my offer…not that I would force him even if I could. "Goodnight, Reid."

I turned and made my way back to the double glass doors of the bullpen. I hadn’t heard him move, so I was completely thrown off guard when his hand wrapped around my wrist. My eyes looked up to meet his, confusion plain on my face.

His eyes weren't dull anymore, they were shimmering but not in any way I ever wanted to see. He swiped at his cheek angrily when the first tear fell. "Don't go," he rasped.

I won’t.  

--

We didn’t speak as we took the elevator down to the lobby. It was only when we reached the front doors of the building that I spoke. “Where do you want to go?”

He scratched at his forearm, his eyes moving over the room behind us like he was expecting someone to run out from any direction. I wasn't a profiler, but I recognized hypervigilance when I saw it.

“I don’t know. Not here.”

I nodded. “Alright. Do you want to go…get food? Coffee?” He shook his head, his hands now picking at the threads of the cardigan he wore. “We could go for a walk?”

“I…” He cleared his throat, his eyes rising to meet mine. “I don’t want to be around a lot of people right now.”

“Okay, we can-“

“But,” he interrupted. “I…I’m afraid to be alone, y/n. I’m…I’m so fucking afraid.”

I reached for him only to still my hand at the last second, millimeters away from touching him. “I won’t leave you alone, Reid.” My teeth dug into my lower lip as I thought. “We could go to your apartment. Or mine.” I quickly added when I saw how his eyes widened at the mention of his place.

“I…I don’t want to go home.” He licked his lips again, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Then you don’t have to go home right now. We’ll go to my place. We can order dinner, watch a movie, or we can do nothing. It’s up to you.”

The look of relief on his face, combined with the smile he sent me warmed up a part of my heart I didn’t even know was cold.

--

The ride to my apartment was mostly silent; I had turned the radio on for background noise. Spencer’s eyes kept staring out of my passenger side window while his hands twisted in his lap.

He followed behind me quietly when we entered my building, then took the elevator up to my apartment. Spencer’s eyes glided over my apartment, taking in the photos of my friends and family on the walls, the throw pillows on my couch, and the titles on my bookshelf.

I went into the kitchen to get us both a bottle of water only to find him standing in the same spot when I returned.

“Are you hungry?”

He shook his head.

“Okay, do you want to sit down?”

He nodded, following me over to my couch. I curled my feet up under myself, my hands folded in my lap. “Spencer…I know I said you don’t have to talk, and you don’t. But…I want to help. I just…I want to do anything I can to help you.” I let out a breath, embarrassed that my voice was already thick with tears. “If that means sitting here beside you and just staring at the wall that’s fine. I…I just want to help.”

Reid’s head swiveled over to face me, those beautiful brown eyes were frightened. “Tobias…he…he hurt me. And I can still feel it,” he whispered, his voice raw even in that hushed volume. “It’s all I feel. I just…I don’t want to hurt anymore, y/n. I can’t stand it.”

I couldn’t stop myself from rising up on my knees and moving towards him. “Can I hug you? Is that okay?”

The words weren’t out of my mouth before he wrapped his arms around my middle, laying his head against my chest. When the first sob wracked through his body, I felt something inside of me crack. The second sob triggered my own.

I didn't know what had happened to him, and if I did know, I don't think I would ever truly understand. But the agony he was in affected me more than any pain I had ever felt myself.

My fingers ran through his hair, tugging at the soft tangles. His hair is curly, I thought absentmindedly. He always wore it slicked down…but it was curly.

Spencer finally quieted after a few moments, his sobs turning into sniffles. “Thank you.”

I gave a broken chuckle. “Don’t thank me for caring about you, Spencer.”

He pulled his head back to look at me, his eyes moving over my cheeks. “You cried for me.”

I nodded.

“Why?”

The question was so unexpected that I wasn’t prepared to do anything but tell the truth. “It hurts me to see you hurt.”

Spencer looked at me for a moment longer, absorbing my words before his palm came up and cupped my jaw, his thumb wiping my left-over tears away. He gentled pulled my head down until my lips pressed against his. Our first kiss was tender, his lips were slightly chapped but still unbelievably soft. Something about this kiss broke my heart more than his tears did.

My hands had come up to cup his face, my actions a mirror of his own. “I…I don’t want to take advantage of you, Spencer,” I mumbled out when we had pulled apart.

He chuckled softly. “You’re worried about that?” His mood became somber when I nodded. “Y/n…you know how I look at you. Everyone does. I don’t…I don’t want this if you don’t. I don’t want you to do this out of pity-“

“Spencer,” I gasped. “I would never…I’d never touch you out of pity. I-I want to touch you. I have for a long time.”

you. I have for a long time.”

Tears started to shine in his eyes again at my words. “Then please touch me, y/n. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. I just…I just want to feel how I feel when you hold me. It-It doesn’t hurt when you touch me.”

Our lips came together the second time in understanding and hope. My mouth brushed against his with a promise that I was touching him because I wanted to. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, his teeth nibbling on it while his hands wove into my hair.

I moved to straddle his lap, my knees on either side of him, while my hands started working on the buttons of his shirt.

Spencer’s tongue ghosted against my lips; the groan he gave when I immediately let him inside made my core throb.

He froze when I started to push his shirt off his shoulders. “What is it?”

“It’s…I don’t want you to see…what he did to me. Please?”

I moved off of him quickly, extending my hand to pull him from the couch. I led him down the hall to my bedroom, not turning on the overhead light when we entered; the only source of light was a sliver of moonlight through the curtains.

“You don’t have to show me anything you don’t want to,” I whispered. “Do you…”

His lips crushed against mine, his hands grabbing my hips to pull me against his body. Those long fingers started working my shirt up my body, breaking away momentarily to pull it over my head.

Once my pants were down my thighs, he pushed me back onto the bed. He had removed his cardigan but left his button-up shirt on. I reached behind myself to unhook my bra, feeling a sudden nervousness rise up in my chest.

His fingers were warm when they brushed over my collarbones, drifting down over my breasts. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured.

I pulled him on top of me when I leaned back on the bed, our lips meeting in a heated frenzy. He palmed my breast, his thumb brushing over my nipple, causing me to arch up against him.

Spencer’s lips moved down until he was mouthing my neck, his teeth nipping at the skin, all the while his hand ghosted down my body until his fingers hooked on the top of my panties.

His head lifted, his eyes searching mine. “Can I touch you?”

I nodded, my hand moving atop his, guiding him inside my panties; I couldn’t control my gasp when his fingers parted my folds to brush against me.

My hands went to his belt. “I-is this okay?”

He nodded, his mouth coming down to cover the tip of my breast, his tongue teasing my nipple to a point. Those long fingers gathered wetness from my opening to bring it up to circle my clit. Ever the scientist, Spencer paid attention to every reaction I had, he wanted to learn how to touch me.

When his middle and ring finger entered me, his palm grinding against my clit, I finally got his pants open. My hand snacked inside to palm his cock, pulling a grown from him.

“Can I push these down a bit?”

“Please,” he breathed, his lips coming over mine.

His pants were down to his mid-thighs before I wrapped my hand around him. He was bigger than I expected, not overly thick, but longer than anyone I had been with before.

“Y/n,” he whimpered against my lips, his fingers speeding up inside of me.

I gave a few pumps, my movements uncoordinated. “I want to feel you inside me, Spence. Please?”

Reid groaned, removing his fingers from my heat. “Do you have a condom?”

I turned to my bedside table, fumbling in the darkness. When I turned back to face him, I saw two of his fingers in his mouth. The same two fingers that had just been inside of me.

“Jesus,” I breathed out, finding the sight of him sucking my arousal off his fingers incredibly erotic.

He took the condom from me, his lips quirking up in a smile. "I've…I've never done that before." His eyes moved down to my still covered pussy. "I want to…but I-I don't want this time to be worse for you than it has to be," he said with a self-deprecating chuckle.

"Hey," I muttered, my hands cupping that well-defined jaw. "This isn't going to be bad for me, Spencer. Just being with you is wonderful."

My words felt heavy in the air. Because they were true.

Spencer swallowed thickly, rolling the condom down over his length. I tugged my panties off, leaving me totally bare to him, while he still had most of his clothing on.

Even with that weird detail, this was still wonderful; being with Spencer like this was…everything.

I gripped him, lining him up at my entrance. His forehead dropped against mine when he started to push inside of me.

“Spence,” I breathed, my hands clutching at his hips.

“Are you okay?” he panted.

“Better than okay. You feel so good.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I don’t think anything could feel better than…fuck.” His slim hips pressed against mine when he was fully sheathed inside of me.

I felt my pussy flutter at his words. I’d never heard Spencer curse like that before.

We started a steady pace; his thrusts were even, and my hips rose to meet them. His arms were braced on either side of my head, his lips brushing against mine while he fucked me.

Calling it fucking seemed wrong. It was so much more.

“Y/n,” he groaned. “I’m close.”

My hand squeezed down between our bodies to rub my clit. “Hold on. I’m almost there.” I whined out.

His moan seemed to tingle across my skin when he dropped his head against my shoulder. “I want to feel you cum, baby.”

I whimpered at his words. “Spencer, harder. I need it harder.”

His hips snapped against mine as he slammed into me, I felt his teeth on the tender skin where my neck and shoulder met for a second before he bit down.

The mix of pain with pleasure sent me over the edge. My pussy clamped down on him as I found my own orgasm, pulling him over the edge with me.

My fingers ran over his back, scratching at the material of his shirt. I breathed his name out over and over while I floated back down from my high.

I felt his tongue soothe over the bite mark he had just given me as he gave a few more jerks inside of me before pulling out. He placed the sweetest kiss against my lips and when he pulled back, his eyes were shining, but not with tears this time.

--

After we cleaned up, we ordered take out and watched some sci-fi movie that was on cable. I couldn’t tell you a thing about it; I was too busy watching Spencer’s face when he told me all about it. I was enraptured by his voice, the way his hands moved.

He was so beautiful.

Before I was ready, I realized that it was already approaching midnight. “It’s late,” I said.

He nodded. “I should go.”

It was childish, but I couldn’t stop my lip from jutting out in a pout, causing him to laugh.

“What is it, beautiful?” he questioned, his voice teasing.

I shoved his shoulder. “Don’t ‘beautiful’ me, Spencer Reid,” I scolded, delighted when he laughed. “I just…I’m not ready for you to go.”

Something in Spencer’s eyes changed. He seemed almost relieved at my words. “I’m not ready to go either.”

I leaned over, placing a soft kiss in the center of his lips. “Then don’t go.”

--

Spending the night with Spence was worth how early I had to wake up the following morning to drive him by his apartment before work. I had offered to wait and give him a ride to work, but he had gotten a text from Garcia. They had gotten called to Houston for a case; Morgan was going to swing by and get him.

“I’ll call you when I can,” he promised, cupping my face when he kissed me goodbye.

The circles under his eyes this morning weren’t as dark as they had been before.

--

I could barely contain my excitement when we got the notification that the team was headed back. Part of me felt silly for being so excited. I mean, it was just one night; but it hadn’t felt like just one night.

Spencer hadn’t called me during the few days he’d been in Texas, but I hadn’t really expected him to. If anyone understood his job, it was someone who worked with his team. The BAU was such an elite unit within the FBI for a reason; they would stop at nothing to solve a case.

When the glass doors of the bullpen opened and I saw Hotch stride in, heading for his office, I couldn’t contain my smile.

“I saw that,” Anderson muttered.

I reached out and smack his arm. “You wanted me to talk to Reid.”

He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. “And judging by that mark on your neck you did more than talk.”

I scowled at him. “See if I’m on your side the next time you fuck up,” I teased, knowing he wouldn’t take my words to heart.

He just offered me a wide smile. That’s how Anderson had lasted so long here, he never really held onto anything.

“Your man doesn’t look so good,” he said suddenly.

I turned, my eyes seeking out Spencer. He was right, the dark circles were back under his eyes, his clothes were wrinkled, his hair sticking up in every direction.

He never turned his head in my direction.

--

I had wanted to give Spencer some space when he first arrived back. What if something about this case had affected him? I thought that maybe that was the reason he had been avoiding me.

My department always had more paperwork than usual when the team came back from a case, so I wasn’t able to leave until after 7. While I gathered up my things I debated about calling Reid, thinking he was already gone. When I went to take Hotch some files about 20 minutes earlier Spencer was rushing out of the bullpen with his bag clutched in his hands.

Even though I wasn’t expecting to see him, I couldn’t stop myself from looking in the glass doors when I passed by out of habit.

He was sitting at his desk. His head was tilted back, and it looked like his eyes were closed. Even in a position that most people would appear relaxed in, he still seemed incredibly tense.  

I can just pop in and tell him hi, I reasoned. Let him know I’m not expecting anything, but I’m here for him.

I had given a lot of thought to my relationship with Spencer over the days he was gone. He was still healing from what happened with Tobias, it wasn’t fair of me to put unreasonable expectations on him right now. I was his friend before anything else. I could put my personal feelings aside if I needed to.

Squaring my shoulders, I pushed the doors open and headed towards his desk. The only person still at their desk was the newest member of the team, SSA Prentiss.

“Hey, y/n,” she greeted.

I had intended to return her greeting, but Spencer’s eyes snapped open and zeroed in on me. The look in his eyes made my blood freeze in my veins. He looked at me like he’d never seen me before, like my presence in this space was annoying to him.

Reid stood abruptly, pulling the strap of his messenger back up on his shoulder before he brushed past me. I had barely processed his actions before he was already leaving the bullpen.

“Spence!” I called. “Hang on!”

He just kept walking. I all but sprinted in my attempt to catch up to him. “Spencer, what the fuck,” I whispered. I knew he had seen me. Once I was closer to him, I reached out and gripped his elbow in an attempt to get his attention.

His entire body jerked as he spun around to face me. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he hissed, venom dripping from his words.

My body recoiled from him like he’d slapped me. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I thought…I just…”

Just then a pair of agents walked past us and they did not bother hiding the curiosity in their eyes.

Spencer’s hand shot out and gripped my forearm, pulling me along behind him. The hold he had on my arm was almost painful, but I couldn’t focus on anything. My brain was still playing his words over and over again.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

He didn’t stop until we reached the copy room; he jerked the door open and shoved me inside.

“Spencer!” I yanked my arm out of his grip, rubbing the skin with my other hand. “What the fuck is going on?!”

“You thought what?” he snarled taking a step closer to me. “You thought that because I fucked you that means you’re my girlfriend now or something?”

My eyes widened at his words. Something cold and heavy settled in the pit of my stomach while some unnamable feeling made me throat constrict. “N-no, I didn’t think that. I just-“

I had heard Spencer’s laugh so many times before, it used to make me smile every time I heard it. People who hadn’t heard him laugh before might have thought the sound that he made when he heard my words was a laugh. But it wasn’t. It was harsh and brittle. His face was pulled into a smile that was condescending.

“Are you sure, y/l/n? Because you’ve sure been fucking acting like it all day. I feel your pathetic little looks everywhere I turn. Like I kicked your dog or something.”

I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes because…this wasn’t Spencer. This wasn’t my Spencer. My Spencer couldn’t use chopsticks and held my face when he kissed me.

“Oh, my fucking god,” he groaned in disgust. “Are you going to cry, y/n? Are you kidding me right now?”

People always say terrible things happen so fast, it’s what I read in witness statements all the time. This was a terrible thing, but time seemed to slow down for it. I saw everything in perfect detail, I heard every single syllable that came out of this mouth.

When the first tear slid down my cheek that dark, brittle laugh left his mouth again. “If you weren’t being so pathetic, I might feel bad for you.”

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered, wiping at my cheeks.

“Why am I doing what, y/n?” His voice was so much louder than it was before. It didn’t make sense that he brought me to a more private place to avoid attention but now he was…yelling at me. “We fucked, do you get that? That is all! I don’t know what sad little schoolgirl fantasy you built up in your mind, but that night wasn’t special to me.”

Oh. I swallowed down my emotion, my eyes moving away from him to stare down at the floor. I wished I was the sort of person that could lash out whenever I was hurt, to hurt that person back as badly as they hurt me; but it’s just not who I was.

Like a shark that smelled blood in the water, Spencer moved closer to me. His fingers brushed over the strands of hair that hung near my shoulder. “I hate to be the one to break it to you, y/n. You’re not special. You were just a desperate girl that wanted attention. You were a pussy to use.”

I jerked back violently at his words, putting as much distance as I could between us. My entire body felt so cold, my face frozen in a mask of confusion.

Reid scoffed once more before he turned and left the room.

He never looked back at me.

I’m not sure how long I stayed in the copy room after he’d left. It may have been seconds; it could have been hours. I think I was in some sort of shock; my body just autopiloted to a place I felt safe.

I don’t remember unlocking my office door. I don’t remember collapsing in my chair and burying my head in my hands while sobs tore out of my chest.

All I remember is hearing my name a moment before I felt someone standing beside me.

“Hey,” a familiar voice called softly. “What’s wrong, y/n?”

I lifted my head and looked into the worried face of one of my best friends.

Anderson didn’t say anything further, he just pulled me up from my chair and wrapped his arms around me while I cried.

--

Pain is a universal experience, but everyone feels it differently. Everyone heals differently.

My grandmother used to say, “Everything will be different in the morning.” I was never sure if that was true or not, but today I chose to believe it was. The pain and humiliation that burned in my gut when I remembered Spencer’s words yesterday wouldn’t last forever.

I had made a mistake. I had let someone use my body only to find out that person wasn’t who I thought they were. I wasn’t the first person to make that mistake, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be the last.

Anderson had stayed with me in my office last night while I pulled myself together enough to go home. He didn’t ask what had happened, but he wasn’t stupid, I’m sure he suspected what had broken my heart.

In a perfect world, I would have fallen for someone like Grant Anderson. He was kind, funny, and a constant source of comfort when I felt my world breaking apart.

I had always tried to think of each painful moment as a lesson in some way, and lessons can teach you both good and bad things. Even my worst moments of pain, I couldn’t regret the choices that lead me to them. Every single experience shapes us into who we grow to be.

One day, when this pain in my heart wasn't so sharp, I think I might be able to look back on my night with Spencer Reid without feeling regret. He had been my friend, he was hurting. How I tried to help his suffering was a mark of who I was.

How he caused me pain was a mark of who he was.

Grant had sent me a text around 6 am, asking me if I was going to take some personal time. The BAU wasn't assigned to an active case today, but I had sent some files over to JJ that looked promising. My money was they'd be headed out to New Orleans tomorrow to catch a serial killer once she had reviewed those files.

A very large part of myself wanted to stay home; I wanted to hide from my pain and tend to my wounded heart in private. But no matter how big that part of me was, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t let this pain consume me.

I wouldn’t let it.

With that thought in mind, I squared my shoulders and walked into the headquarters of the FBI.

--

The hardest moments after a tragedy are the moments after; after the first wave of pain has passed and you’re expected to go back to your normal life. The world never slowed down just because you were in agony.

JJ came by and told me she thought New Orleans looked promising and asked if I could contact the lead detective for any updates then forward those to her.

She wasn’t a profiler but even she knew something was wrong. Right before she walked out of my office she said, “Hey, are you okay?”

It's always so much worse when they ask you if you're okay because they never want an honest answer. So, on top of all the agony, you feel you have to pull off a convincing lie.

“Just tired, JJ.”

I don’t think she quite believed me, but she was kind enough not to push me any further.

A few hours later JJ was on the phone the detective heading up the investigation into the murders happening in the French Quarter. It looked like the team was heading out to New Orleans sometime tomorrow morning.

My job mostly had me working with JJ, but SSA Hotchner was the unit chief. It wasn’t uncommon that I had to get his signature of approval on something JJ needed. So, when it was time to stop by Hotch’s office, I made my way there with no outward reluctance.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Spencer standing around the cluster of desks that housed his teammates. They all called out in greeting after I dropped the files off, but I had only waved over my shoulder and rushed out of the room.

Anderson had been popping in and out of my office all morning. First, he had made excuses for coming by, but much to my amusement he had dropped the façade after he came to ask me if he could borrow a pen…while he was holding a pen.

The biggest dilemma of my day was over coffee. Of course, I hadn’t gotten any sleep last night and I was dragging. Caffeine was obviously the answer.

But if you knew Spencer Reid, you know he was always at the coffee machine in the BAU bullpen.

I could just go downstairs to counterterrorism, I thought idly. But if I’m already in the elevator I could just run down the block and get coffee. JJ wouldn’t mind.

I was still debating my options when I heard a tentative knock on my door.

I am not proud of my actions, I’m truly not. But there is only one person in this whole building who would knock on a door that hesitantly.

The blinds in my office were closed…but I had left the door unlocked.

On instinct, I slid out of my chair, knees hitting the floor, and hid under my desk.

What the fuck are you doing, y/n? I mentally scolded myself. This is a new low, even for you.

It turned out to be pointless anyway.

He didn’t open the door.

--

“You don’t have to tell me,” Anderson began. “But…”

“I have to tell you?” I supplied after a beat.

He flopped down in the chair on the other side of my desk. “Exactly.”

The small smile that curled up on my face was the first real smile I’d had in almost 24 hours.

How had it only been 24 hours?

“Listen,” he said, bringing my attention back to him. “I know it’s about Reid. I’m not a profiler, but it’s all that makes sense.”

“How’s that?”

One of his dark brown eyebrows raised at the question. “I mean, even if we ignored everything else, the fact that he keeps walking past your office door is a dead giveaway.”

I rubbed my temples with my fingers. “Grant, I can’t right now.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t,” I whispered out. “I don’t…I need to hold it together. Just for a while longer.”

Grant reclined his back against the chair, his eyes surveying me. “Fine. But I don’t like seeing you like this.”

I don’t like feeling like this.

“Alright,” he sighed, rising to his feet. “I have to go run some sort of errand for Garcia.”

I didn’t bother asking, he’d say it was “classified.”

All the air seemed to leave the room when he opened the door.

Spencer was standing on the other side, his hand up like he had been about to knock.

Grant’s entire body jerked while Spencer’s eyes widened. “What are you doing here?” my friend demanded.

The most startling thing was how surprised Spencer looked at Grant’s tone; like it was some oddity that one of my closest friends would have been angry on my behalf.

“C-can I talk to you?” he asked, his voice squeaking on the last word.

I licked my lips, weighing my options. How could he hurt me any worse? I gave Grant a nod, signaling that I was okay. He moved out of the way, granting Spencer entry, but I knew my friend; he wouldn’t be far.

The man in front of me waited until the door was shut before he spoke. “Did I do something?”

My eyes had dropped down to my hands only to shoot up to his face at those words. What?

“To make you upset?” he clarified. “I…you’ve been avoiding me all day. And I know you were in here earlier when I knocked.”

His words tore at the bandages I had wrapped my heart in, ripping my wound open again. All I could do was wrap my arms around my middle in an attempt to physically hold myself together. “W-why would I want to talk to you?”

If possible, he looked even more confused than I felt. “What is going on?” He took a step towards me. “Baby-“

My reaction to hearing that word come out of his mouth was visceral. I shot to my feet, almost stumbling over my chair in an attempt to put more distance between us.

Spencer froze. “I…I don’t understand,” he pleaded. “Please, y/n, you have to talk to me. It…it hurts me to see you hurt.”

Any work I had done to repair my heart was destroyed at his words. I never should have let him inside. The look on his face twisted a knife in my stomach. He had the audacity to look distraught over my tears like he wasn’t the cause of them.

“I know I said I’d call but I was just so busy with the case…I thought…you’d understand.”

I ran my tongue over my teeth while my eyes blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear the tears that were clouding my vision. If I couldn’t remember everything about yesterday so clearly, I would doubt that the man standing before me now was the same monster that spewed venom at me yesterday.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Reid.”

He flinched at my use of his last name. “I want you to tell me what happened.”

“Why?” I rasped out. “Do you want it to hurt more? Why are you doing this to me?”

Spencer took another step towards me, his hands were outstretched. "I don't-"

"Don't fucking touch me." I tried to fill my words with the same venom his words had yesterday when he told me the same thing, but my words came out as a broken plea.

He blinked and dropped his hands to his sides. “I deserve to know why you’re treating me like this.”

A sad sort of laugh came out of my mouth at his words.

Somehow the non-acknowledgment of my pain hurt worse than anything. “Do I mean so little to you that you forgot our conversation yesterday?”

Spencer shook his head, his hair flopping around his ears. “No, I didn’t talk to you yesterday.”

What? “Yes, you did.” My voice shook but my words still tumbled out of my mouth. “You pulled me into the copy room and told me…you told me that our night together was nothing…you told me that I was nothing.”

His brows knit together, his mouth popping open. “What are you talking about? You’re…you’re everything, y/n.”

“Reid, please…I know I’m pathetic, but I can’t take this. I can’t…” My shoulders started to shake. “Please don’t make me feel this again.”

“Pathetic?” he questioned. “What are you talking about? Is this…is this some sort of game? You don’t want to be with me…so you do this? Did Anderson tell you about my mom?”

“What?”

“My mom has schizophrenia. Is that why you’re trying to make me feel crazy?”

My brows knitted together. “I…Nobody told me about your mom. I’m not trying to make you feel crazy. And I wanted to be with you. But you told me you didn’t want to be with me.”

He still denied my words. “No, I haven’t talked to you. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You avoided me all day yesterday. When I finally came to talk to you in the bullpen you walked past me like I wasn't there. Then I went after you." I held up my arm, pushing my sleeve up to show him the finger-shaped bruises. "You dragged me into the copy room. You told me I was pathetic. You mocked me. You told me I was just some girl…some pussy for you to use."

He kept flinching at my words like they were whips leaving lashes all over his body.

“You told me I was nothing. You told me our night together was nothing.”

“No.” He continued to shake his head. “I…I wouldn’t say that. But I especially wouldn’t say that to you. You’re wrong.”

I just shrugged. “Ask Prentiss. She saw me follow you out of the bullpen yesterday. Ask Garcia to pull the security footage. There’s probably a recording of you breaking my heart.”

“No, no, no,” he muttered over and over again.

“I don’t know why you’re pretending you don’t remember, Spencer.”

He didn��t say anything else; he just turned and left my office, slamming the door behind him.

--

JJ was suspicious when I called her from my office phone instead of just walking over to see her, but she didn’t ask any questions about the mysterious illness I told her had hit me. She just told me that she hoped I felt better and to take all the time I needed.

I knew that the team was set to fly out after JJ presented the case at 10 am in the morning, meaning that going back to work tomorrow wouldn’t be too hard. No matter how badly I hurt now, I couldn’t lay down and cry about it.

Part of me was afraid if I laid down, I wouldn’t be able to get back up.

With that in mind, I would give myself today to feel the full force of my heartbreak. I would cry when I wanted to, I’d watch sad movies and make myself cry more, I’d eat junk food that ultimately only made me feel worse. I would feel this pain for one day.

I told myself Spencer Reid didn’t deserve more of my tears than that. I told myself that over and over again until I almost believed it.

Anderson had been texting me all day to check-in, I had even gotten a nice call from Penelope Garcia asking me if I needed anything.

The most unexpected call came at 8 pm that night from a number I didn’t recognize.

“Y/n?” the voice asked. “This is Prentiss.”

Oh. “Oh. Hi, Emily.”

“Listen, I called for two reasons. The first is that I wanted to check in on you, and the second is…the second is a bit more personal.”

Oh. I cleared my throat. “I’m as good as I can be, Emily.”

She sighed. "I figured. Which brings me to my second question. Did something happen between you and Reid?" After a few moments of my silence, Prentiss hurried on. "You don't have to tell me. It's just that…Reid came up to me this afternoon and demanded to know if I had seen you come into the bullpen to talk to him yesterday."

“What did you say?”

“Um, I told him yes. Because I did. What is going on?”

My fingers picked at the edges of the blanket in my lap. “I don’t know. Anderson thinks something is up with him.”

“We all think something is up with him.”

Her confirmation didn’t make me feel any better.

--

I arrived to work the following morning at 9 am, a full thirty minutes later than usual. JJ had stopped by my office to see how I was doing, followed by a visit from Prentiss. Garcia had teetered into the room about 15 minutes after Emily left, giving me a frosted cookie that was bigger than my hand.

“Cookies help,” she had said confidently.  

I hoped she was right.

Anderson popped in last. "Hey, ooh." He skidded to a stop. "You look terrible."

I shot him a withering look. “Thank you so much, Grant.”

“You know what I mean.”

“…That I look terrible?”

He nodded, his lips twitching at the corners. “Anyway, Hotch needs the mileage forms for the SUVs. I can run it over to him.”

My teasing tone vanished. “I’ve got it, Grant.”

I wasn’t sure if that was true, but I had to believe it was. Or at the very least it would be soon.

It took every ounce of will power I had not to let my eyes wander over to his desk when I entered the bullpen. I could almost feel him looking at me. It went against every natural instinct I had to ignore him…but what else could I do?

Hotch wasn’t in his office when I knocked but the door was unlocked. He never minded if we walked in when he was out if we just had something to drop off. I tried to find an open space on his desk to set the forms when I heard the door squeak on its hinges behind me.

I spun around, my startled eyes connecting with a pair of sharp brown eyes.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry, Agent Gideon. I didn’t see you there.”

He gave me a small smile, but that sharp look didn’t leave his eyes. “No, I don’t suppose you would have,” he said simply. “It’s hard to notice anyone else when you’re trying so hard to not notice someone.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Gideon just nodded. “I’m going to tell you something. Now, you can take these words to heart, and I hope you do, or you can take them as the ramblings of…a sentimental old man.”

I shifted my weight from foot to foot. “Okay.”

"A lot of people think that the most important thing you can have in a relationship is love," he began, his eyes never wavering from mine. "In my not so humble opinion, they are incorrect. You see, y/l/n, love fades. Love isn't a thing that can stay in one form forever. It's always changing… its fluid."

“Sir, I don’t-“

“You know what the most important thing is?” he asked as if I hadn’t spoken. “Mercy.”

I just blinked at him. “I…I don’t think I understand.”

He just smiled at me, his hands moving into the pockets of his jeans. “Maybe not yet, but I think you will.” Gideon’s gaze broke from mine, looking through the windows of Hotch’s office to settle on Reid. His head was bent over his desk while his fingers ran over the pages in front of him. “He’ll need mercy, y/n. More than anything else.”

Agent Gideon turned back to look at me. “He’ll need it from all of us, but I don’t think he’ll need it from anyone more than you.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say in response. I truly didn’t understand what he was talking about.

With one final smile, he turned and left the office, leaving me with my thoughts.

--

Agent Gideon’s words were still swirling through my mind the following afternoon when I got another odd call from Agent Prentiss.

“Hey, y/l/n,” she began, her tone annoyed. “Listen, have you heard from Reid?”

My entire body stilled. “No, I haven’t. Why?”

“He was supposed to meet us at the plane. Morgan and I are waiting for him but he isn’t answering his cell.”

I hated the worry that wormed its way through my heart at her words. “I’m sorry, Em. I haven’t talked to him.”

She clicked her tongue against her teeth. “It was a long shot. Thanks, y/n.”

For several minutes after she hung up, I just stared at my phone. Don’t, I told myself firmly. He’s not your problem.

Spencer Reid wasn't my problem…but I couldn't just stop caring about him overnight. That's not the sort of person I was.

I kept telling myself I was calling to check on him for me, because I was the sort of person who checked on their friends.

It didn’t make it easier when he didn’t answer my calls either.

--

The need to silence the shrill ringing of my phone pulled me from my sleep the following night. I still hadn't heard from Spencer, but Prentiss had called me this morning to tell me Reid had gone to see one of his friends and "didn't have a signal." Her tone indicated she thought he was full of shit.

My eyes cracked open to look at the caller ID. When I read the name of the person calling me, my fingers frantically pushed “accept.”

“Spencer?” I asked, my voice still thick with sleep. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.”

I sat up in my bed, my eyes looking at the clock on my nightstand. “It’s after 3 am. Did something happen with the case?”

He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah. The unsub is a woman. We tried to catch her tonight…but we can try again tomorrow.”

“You’ll get her.”

The only sound I heard was his uneven breathing. “That’s not why I called.”

My tongue ran over my lips while I pulled the blankets further up my chest like they would be able to protect me in some way. "Why did you call?"

“Do you think people deserve forgiveness?”

“I…I think it depends.”

“On what?” he asked desperately.

“On what they did…on if they’re sorry.” I cleared my throat. “Did you do something, Spencer?”

“I made a mistake.”

Somehow, I knew he wasn’t just talking about what had happened between us. He sounded just like I remembered him sounding when I wrapped my arms around him that night he came to my house.

His voice broke when he spoke again. “I’m so lost, y/n,” he sobbed. “I’m so lost and I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

I fought to control my own emotions when he spoke. No matter what happened my heart still ached at the pain in his voice. “You might be lost, Spencer. But you’re not alone. Your team…your family found you. They brought you home. They’re still here for you. They’ll bring you home again.”

We sat in silence for a few moments, both of us lost in our own dark sea of pain.

“I don’t deserve to ask you to forgive me,” he said at last. “So, I won’t ask. I don’t even…I don’t even remember what I said.”

I think my subconscious mind had been connecting these pieces together for a while because in the darkness of my bedroom at almost 4 am, things finally began to take shape. The darkness that hung over Spencer was finally starting to take form.

“Just focus on the case, Spencer. We can talk when you get home.”

“Wait,” he called out. “Don’t go. Not yet.”

I don’t think I ever will.

--

The clock on my wall said it was just after 7 pm the following night when there was a knock on my door. Frowning, I made my way across the room, pressing my eye to the peephole, slightly surprised at who I saw.

I had figured he would come for me at some point, but I hadn’t expected it to be the very moment he got back into town.

…but it isn’t the very moment, I reminded myself. JJ had texted saying their plane was landing at 5 pm this afternoon.

He didn’t knock again but he didn’t move away from the door either. I think he knew I was there, just out of his reach, debating my options.

Opening yourself up to something that might hurt you is one of the most foolish and brave things a person can do. When someone you cared about broke your trust, how could you put your heart back into those very same hands?

I remembered Gideon’s words from that afternoon before they had left for New Orleans.

Over the past several days I had realized that that day in the copy room it wasn’t actually my Spencer that said those things. Something dark and painful had clawed its way into him and was trying to hollow him out.

That dark thing didn’t deserve my mercy…but I think Spencer did.

With a deep breath, I started to unlock my front door, grateful he couldn’t see that my hands were shaking. He looked tired but a different sort of tired than I was used to seeing. Weariness had crawled underneath his skin and was draining him slowly, but he didn’t look as defeated as he did the last time I saw him.

No matter how many times I had thought about this moment, I still wasn’t sure what to say

“I came…I came to explain.” He said at last.

I was still frozen in place watching him shift uncomfortably. I knew he wanted me to invite him in…but, how could I? Trusting him enough to talk to him was one thing but how could I allow him into the only place I felt safe?

Gideon’s words played through my mind again. Mercy.

Taking a step back from the door, I waved him inside. I moved to sit on the couch, but Spencer just stood in front of me.

"When Tobias abducted me…" he trailed off, balling his hands into fists. "He had dissociative identity disorder. It's much more rare than people think. Whenever it's been observed under clinical settings, the most that has been observed is 2. Tobias had three.

The first was him, the next was his father, and the last was the Archangel, Raphael. Tobias’s father abused him horribly… Charles broke something inside of him, he fractured him. The only way he could survive was to start abusing drugs. He took them intravenously.”

Gideon's words had started to weave the pieces together, but it was actually Spencer's words from our night together that cemented everything in place. “I don’t want you to see what he did to me.”

"He thought he was being kind when he injected me." Spencer crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his tongue against his upper lip. "You hear about addiction; I could tell you the statistics on people who suffer from opioid addiction. But I never in a million years thought it would be me.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until a tear fell from my face and hit the back of my hand.

“I’m not the person who gets addicted to things. I’m not the stereotypical picture of an addict…but that’s what I am, y/n. I’m an addict.” He reached into his front pocket, pulling out a small coin. “This is a newcomer’s chip…from narcotics anonymous. You get it at your very first meeting. I got this an hour ago.”

“Spencer,” I rasped out. “I’m so sorry.”

He came to sit beside me on the couch then, his hand covering one of mine. "I thought I could handle it. I convinced myself it wasn't that bad, but it was. What I did to you was reprehensible, y/n. And I am so sorry." Spencer's voice broke, his shoulders shaking with repressed emotion. "I will be sorry about that day for the rest of my life. I don't deserve any sort of second chance."

I turned completely towards him, throwing my arms around him. “Yes, you do, Spencer,” I whispered into his hair. “You do.”

This night felt so much different than the first night I held him like this while he cried. I didn't know the cause of his pain that night, but it broke my heart nevertheless; now that I knew the pain inside this beautiful man…I think the pain I had been feeling was tearing at my soul.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate. It’s a disease that will sink its hooks into anyone and refuse to let go. Spencer had made a mistake; his actions had gutted me. But…was it really him? Or was it the monster that has hold of him? It was in these thoughts that I finally began to understand the weight of Agent Gideon's words. "He’ll need mercy from everyone…but from no one more than you.”

I wasn’t in love with Spencer…at least not yet, but I did love him. In those moments when loving someone felt impossible mercy was the most important thing you could offer. I had to show him my mercy while he moved through this…because I knew love would come later.

“I’m here for you, Spencer. I want to help you in any way I can.”

He pulled back, his wide brown eyes meeting mine. “I can’t ask you to battle my addiction for me, y/n. I wouldn’t even if I could.” His voice was earnest when he spoke, his hands coming up to cup my face with a touch that seemed so familiar. “I promise that I’m going to try. I’m going to mess up at some point, some moments will be harder than others. I can’t…I can’t be perfect at this. But I promise I will never stop trying.”

“You don’t have to be perfect, Spencer. You’re not worthy because you’re perfect. You’re worthy because you’re…you.”

His eyes were soft when they ran over my face, his hands coming up to cup my jaw again. “I can leave, if you want…I know you’ll need time…I can’t expect-“

I leaned forward to brush my lips against his. “Don’t go,” I whispered. “Just be with me. Be here with me, Spence.”

I'm not sure who moved first. It was like all the pain in my body gave way to such a burning need that it almost consumed me. Our lips barely broke apart when I pulled him from the couch, guiding him to my bedroom; our actions were so similar to what they had been on that first night that felt like a lifetime ago.

But everything was different.

My bedroom was lit only by the dusky orange glow from the setting sun. I didn’t get to question Spencer about anything. His hands moved urgently against my body, ridding me of my shirt and bra. I unbuttoned his shirt, careful not to push it off of his shoulders. My nails scored his chest while his mouth moved down to kiss the column of my throat.

Spencer’s knee was wedged between my thighs when his mouth closed over my nipple. My hands tried to move down to undo his pants but when his teeth tugged at the tip of my breast all I could do was whimper.

“Spencer. Please.”

His eyes opened and lifted to meet mine. He looked nervous for a moment before he started to kiss down my body. I lifted my hips to help him remove my pants. When his fingers hooked into the waistband of my panties, I realized he had never seen me in the light before.

I felt his index finger trace down my slit, spreading me open under his gaze. He swallowed thickly when one of his fingers entered me, pulling a moan from my throat.

“Can I?”

“Yes. Yes.” I wasn’t sure what he was asking, but I would have given him anything in that moment.

I wasn’t ready when I felt his tongue tentatively lick my pussy. My hips bucked off the bed causing him to chuckle.

“Hold still,” he whispered as he spread me wider. He inserted another finger into my heat while his tongue fluttered around my clit.

“I’m trying,” I whined. “Fuck. I thought you said you hadn’t done this before.”

Spencer lifted his head to press a kiss to my inner thigh. “I haven’t,” he replied, his voice needlessly smug. Before I could comment his lips closed around my clit again.

My fingers were tangled in his soft brown hair while my hips rocked against his mouth. “Spencer, I’m close. I want-fuck! I want to cum when you’re inside me.”

He rose up on his knees, his hands moving to his belt. He had looked reluctant to leave his current position, but I needed him now. "You can eat my pussy to your heart's content later."

Spencer’s hand froze, his eyes snapping up to meet mine.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. You just…you said later.” The confusion must have been plain on my face because he clarified, “I can have you later too.”

My arousal was still pulsing in my body but now something else was too. I knew he didn’t mean sex when he said he could have me; Spencer meant he could have me, he could be with me.

With that thought, I urged him up my body so I could press my lips to his again. We were still kissing when I felt the blunt tip of his cock brush against me before he slowly pushed inside of me.

“You…I didn’t know something could feel like this,” he said when his hips settled against mine,

I didn’t either.

I think he must have felt the same frantic need I did. His thrusts were forceful as he drove into me. I was already so close that I could feel myself approaching my peak.

“Spence,” I whimpered out.

“I know, I feel you. You’re right there.” He reached between our bodies and rubbed his thumb across my clit.

My back arched as my orgasm washed over me, my mouth hung open in a silent scream. After a few more thrusts, I felt Spencer find his release too. He whispered my name against my hair while he slowly came down, pressing soft kisses all over any part of my skin he could reach.

--

The frantic mood from before had lifted, but something still felt urgent. Spencer had gotten up a few moments ago to dispose of the condom in the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

He hadn’t removed his clothes again, and something about the energy in the room made me put my clothes back on too.

I was sitting at the end of my bed when he came out of the bathroom a few moments later. He looked resigned and…almost defeated.

“Spence,” I started but he just shook his head.

He came to stand in front of me before he spoke. “I have to…I can’t hide from you.”

I stood up before he could move. “You’re not hiding anything, Spencer. Not anymore.”

He pressed his lips against mine again. I think he understood the gravity of my words and what revealing his body meant. He knew I’d see him; I’d see all of him. But whenever I looked into his eyes when he started to open his shirt, I felt like I saw more of him than I ever had.

Everything he felt was floating through his amber-colored eyes. His hands shook and a few tears leaked out of his eyes when he pulled his shirt from his body.

The bend of his left elbow was covered in bruises in all different phases of healing. It looked like one of his veins might even have blown.

When I brought my eyes back up to his, I found them shut tight.

“Hey,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his middle, careful of his arm. “Spencer, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he breathed out.

I only held him tighter. “It will be. One day it will be.” I let out a shaky breath of my own before I spoke again. “You know I’m going to fall in love with you one day, right?”

His body jerked at my words, a tiny sob leaving his mouth.

“It’s true, Spencer. You have to know that. You’re worthy of love. You’re worthy of my love.”

He pulled back from me, his hands cradling my face while his eyes searched mine. “I’m not. I’m not worthy…but I’m going to try to be.”

The slashes and cracks in my heart didn’t feel so painful when I kissed him again. It wasn’t my job to fix him. It wasn’t his job to fix me.

But I could show him mercy while he fought his battle. He deserved that.

Everyone deserves that.

--

Taglist: @rachelxwayne @pinkdiamond1016 @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace @nanocoool @andiebeaword @imjusthereformggcontent @rainsong01 @violentvulgarvolatile @mys2425 @al3xmnd @imfalling-inlove @cielo1984 @shadyladyperfection @kissingvalentino @goofygubler14​ @hopebaker​

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Nightwing #80 Review

woot woot i’ve kept it up for three issues lets gooo. i liked this issue more than the last one. there’s a lot of fanon dick characterization peppered in, but not so much that it puts me off entirely. also, i’m getting increasingly concerned about bitewing. but i did like tim in this one, very nice

look at all the blue and purple and pink. honestly at this point, i’m a broken record but come on come on come onnnnnnn. the blue and pink is very pretty though. this cover’s a bit offputting at first, and a bit spiraly, which i’m sure was the intended effect.

this is a genuine concern of mine. dick’s a vigilante, and he doesn’t have the same sprawling network and resources that bruce does. (even if he is a billionaire now, he hasn’t amassed the same collection of crime-fighting equipment that bruce has.) 

i’m not sure if he’ll be able to take care of bitewing. damian’s got plenty of pets, but alfred used to take care of them, and now bruce plus the rest of the batfam is taking care of them. as far as we know, babs only drops by occasionally, and the same goes for dick’s family and friends. will dick be able to give bitewing the love and time and affection that a traumatized puppy like her needs? i really hope so.

she does look adorable in this panel tho.

dick. richard. richie. baby. why are you shirtless.

you have scars upon scars. probably chemical burns. bullet wounds. weird fucking squiggly lines from knives that only psychos with blade fetishes use. no normal person has the body that you do. and you don’t think that showing up shirtless in front of the police is going to raise suspicion? you don’t think that the people accusing you of murder are going to look at someone who looks like they’re a fucking mob enforcer and go hmm that’s a bit suspicious?

put on a SHIRT jesus CHRIST it’s like you’re not even trying to hide your identity.

look at this pompous little princess demanding only the highest quality head pets i’d burn down latvia for her. (no offense latvians it was the first country that popped into my head.)

pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy pretty boy-

no seriously kudos to the artist here. his expression is so human i wanna cry. dick, right now, is sheepishly asking a question. he knows he’s not going to get into any real trouble, he knows that he’ll be able to talk his way out of or somehow maneuver his way off this mess. but he’ll play nice for the police, so he’s asking a friend for a favour, part self-condescendingly and part oh-well-what-can-you-do.

and his expression reflects that. rather than a stoic expressionless face most male comic characters have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), rather than the weird desperate supposedly “seductive” face that most female comic characters plus dick grayson have when asking someone for something (or all the time really), he’s making a face that i pulled like yesterday. or the day before that. it’s kind of silly, kind of casual, very much human. i like it.

thank god. proper (in character) acknowledgement for officer grayson. yea, fuck cops in general, but i like that they included this line.

obviously, he’s not talking about the actual criminals, he’s talking about the police force itself. the bpd was too corrupt, and dick realized that he wasn’t helping. not only does one clean cop not make a dent in an overall dirty force, but dick was putting his allies in danger too. not only that, but it wasn’t good for dick’s mental health either. he was spreading himself too thin, and surrounding himself with some of the worst of crime 24/7 did a number on him. dick’s got a history of self-sacrificing tendencies, and i’m just glad he’s not a cop anymore.

dick has a gotham rogues mug. they make gotham rogue mugs, and dick has one.

what kinda city looks at it’s frankly horrible crime history and long list of certifiably insane serial killers who are all still alive and actively committing war crimes and goes “oooooh yea imma put that on a coffee mug!” gotham, that’s who.

this isn’t important i just like how all of bitewing’s barks are blue

back straight, hand on his hip, cheerful smile on his face as he says he’s being accused for murder. love that for him.

they couldn’t have said “yea it’s complicated” in a better way even if they put the words “yea it’s complicated” right there on the page in bold red letters. literally all the love to the artists.

dick please. you’re KILLING ME what the actual fuck IS THAT???? WHY DO YOU HAVE A MUG OF THAT???

anyway nightwing collects novelty mugs confirmed.

this paneling is so beautiful. 

tim’s the focus, but he’s not the first thing you see. he’s placed in a way that forces the reader to drag their eyes all the way up the page in order to reach him. it us know just how high up tim is carelessly crouching, especially close to the ledge of the building too. i cannot think of a single better way to introduce a character, and this character in particular: you instantly know this is a version of tim with plenty of experience and training, is comfortable in his body and knows his limits, but still hangs onto that civilian awe of being in a high place and overlooking a brightly lit city.

absolute classic robin. i love it. 

this isn’t even that important but it made me happy. this is how you train surf.

you don’t crouch or bend over when you get to a tunnel, which is oddly enough what most people think (at least from my experience). you bend backward. that not only 100% ensures that you’ll make sure you’re low enough to make it through the tunnel (because you can see the top of the tunnel, unlike when you crouch or bend), but it also makes it easier to get up: all you have to do is push up with your arms into a bent stance, and you’ll be in a ready, moving position. from a bend or a crouch, getting up is more awkward and more slow.

on a meta level, i like that this creative team knows what they’re doing when it comes to the small, almost unimportant stuff like that, because it makes the action more real. (as real as you can get with a guy running around stealing hearts.)

on a in-universe level, it once again drives home both dick and tim’s experience and professional level skill.

regardless of who you side with in the “should tim drake be robin again?” debate, you gotta admit that tim’s rebirth robin suit is r a d as fuck. if i’m not mistaken, this is the same one he was wearing in 2019 young justice for a little bit? it’s cute and hella cool i like it.

remember what i said about human expressions? doesn’t happen as often to tim bc he’s a Child, but it’s still nice to note when someone humanizes him, too. (that’s why i love the duckboy panel so much lol.)

me, at first: that’s not a “good call” dick that’s just common sense

me, now: sprinkled throughout the entire comic we can see dick bending to tim’s instructions if only briefly, joking with him to keep the mood light while still maintaining a serious mood and retaining control over this particular outing. this implies that dick’s doing it intentionally, purposefully leaving places in his sentences blank and offering affirmations, in order to encourage tim and train him in things bruce might not necessarily touch on, such as social chameleoning and misdirection techniques and love/affirmation from a family member. dick is not only a loving and supportive big brother, but he never stops training his younger brother in better vigilante tecnhiques because he wants tim to be better than him. in this essay i will-

d o g g o

also bitewing is getting so many head pats today i’m living for it

look at him, standing on a telephone wire with ease. nice flex, dick.

also look at how he’s silhouetted. the moon’s full bright, bright enough that the sky around dick is light, too. (at least. i’m like 99% sure that’s the moon.) not like most batman comics, where it’s sometimes hard to distinguish bruce from the background, which is entirely on purpose.

gotham is a dark gritty city, and so is bruce. the two of them are one. bludhaven may be a bit of a mess, but it’s being portrayed in all these different shades of blue and purple and pink, that are all light enough that dick stands out from the background. he hasn’t been swallowed up by the city, and chances are that he won’t ever be. also, the colouring helps establish bludhaven as a city too. there’s still hope for it. the light colouring means that it’s not going to sink into a pit as deep as the one bruce wove gotham into. the whole point of this nightwing arc in particular is to turn bludhaven into a better place, and it’s (most likely) letting us know early on that dick is going to accomplish that. he’ll struggle, but he’ll do it.

so dick??? dick designed his escrima sticks with a situation like this in mind? he created his signature and most iconic weapon (other than his chatty mouth), with a built in feature that turns his escrima sticks into tim’s signature and most iconic weapon???? just so that if he and tim ever got into a situation where tim didn’t have his staff, dick could make sure tim had the thing that would give him an edge over anyone he was fighting??? he’s such a big brother oh my goddd.

also tim’s smirk in this is just *chef kiss.* a staff is something he can work with, a staff is something he wields like an extension of his arm, a staff is means that someone’s about to get their ass kicked because tim’s about to beat the shit outta them.

this is my new phone background.

they really made sure we remembered that hey, those first few months when bruce was grieving too much to be any sort of a mentor to tim and was still unwilling to properly train him to be robin out of fear that he would end up like jason, dick was the one who stepped up (once he got over himself and his own fears and hangups with bruce) and trained tim to be robin, trained him how to fight and flip and fuckin fly out there, all while changing his own style a bit to be the more experienced one in the partnership while still trusting said partner to hold their own, so dick and tim have a very unique and cohesive fighting style that makes it hell for anyone who fights them together, didn’t they?

[contreparry]

🧁Underlying sexual tension at the tea party?

I started playing around with this and it became another modern!Thedas AU with Zevran and Warden Surana, I’m so sorry. But here it is for @dadrunkwriting

Bran didn’t know what he was thinking.

No, that was a lie. He was feeling light and fluttery and happy with the world when he accepted Leliana’s invitation to an afternoon tea party. Just a small thing a dear friend of mine wanted to host while she’s visiting, Leliana assured him when he picked up his coffee order last week. She’s Antivan, I promise there will be plenty of food. Even sweets. Bran happily accepted the invasion: an afternoon with a friend, her friend, and some strangers with guaranteed desserts he didn’t have to buy sounded perfectly acceptable. He could drop in, spend an hour or two in Leliana’s company, and when he was tired he’d make his excuses and go home. A perfect plan, save for one flaw he couldn’t have possibly anticipated.

“… my dear Warden, do you have a sweet tooth?” the man across the table from him purred, and Bran debated the pros and cons of leaping over the tea table to strangle a fellow guest. Bran would be happy, but Leliana’s friend (a lovely woman named Josephine) would certainly be upset, and Bran didn’t want to get on Leliana’s bad side. No, Bran decided, he should ignore his table partner. The man had the strangest tendency to pop up whenever he was around (bookstore, coffee shop, bars, the library-), and he kept on staring at him with those warm brown eyes and mysterious half smile and sultry… everything!

He wanted something from him. Bran might be terrible with people, but he knew enough to realize that this man wanted something. He just didn’t know what yet. He nibbled at a cardamom tea biscuit and glared at his new companion.

“I must apologize. I intended to speak with you much earlier than this, but I’m afraid circumstances have kept us apart,” the man said, his voice low, brushing over him like a cat luxuriously twisting around his ankles. “We have such terrible luck.”

“That’s a diplomatic way to put it,” Bran replied, because he knew what circumstances the man was speaking of: the combined forces of Morrigan, Leliana, and Alistair, who forged an unlikely alliance to keep a ‘clearly dangerous individual’ away from him. Not that they clarified how they all believed the man was dangerous. They just said he was bad news and would “eat Bran alive,” as if he were incapable of holding his own! Bran would be angry if it weren’t so ridiculous, but he was also a little touched that he had found a group of people who would want to protect him. No one really bothered when he was growing up, and if anyone did it hardly mattered. He was shuffled around Ferelden so much that he didn’t keep in contact with most people. He didn’t have friends, not before Amaranthine. He certainly didn’t have handsome men who sought him out at tea parties and plied him with sweets.

Bran sized his tea party companion up over his cup: they were of a similar height, and while Bran was wiry compared to the man in front of him (all lean, powerful muscle under the elegant black pants and button-up), he could probably take him in a fight. He’d been fighting people twice his size all his life, and everyone underestimated a Mage’s capacity to throw a punch.

The man laughed, light and bright like champagne bubbles bursting on the tongue. “My, such a sour expression! Dear Warden, your face will stick that way if you aren’t careful.”

Bran had champagne once, a singular sip with his mentor when his graduate application to Amaranthine was accepted. He hated it. He wished he could say he hated this man as well: hated that fake, light laugh, hated that perfectly insincere smile, hated the elegant clothing and how it draped over the man like it was made for him like a second skin, hated that everything about him seemed so carefully crafted as if to draw attention away from who he was. And that was the heart of the problem, wasn’t it? It was the witty but insincere, forgettable conversation, the elegant clothing that was classy enough for a magazine but staid enough to not draw attention, the smile that never quite reached the eyes, the laugh that was so clearly forced once Bran knew what to listen for- this man was hiding, not just something but everything, and Bran couldn’t stand it. Him.

“You never pick up books at the library. Or the shop,” Bran said. “If you’re pretending to be a bibliophile you should put a little more effort into it.”

Silence fell between them at their little tea table. Josephine and Leliana were deep in conversation on the balcony, the other tea party guests were enjoying themselves at their own little corners, lost in their conversations and tea things, but Bran was stuck here in silence with an unsettlingly beautiful man who had a knack for appearing whenever Bran least expected him. They sat in silence, until-

He laughed. It was not that champagne bubbly laughter from before, but a choking gasp of a laugh, as if Bran cracked something within the man and the laughter was escaping from within his chest like air from an oxygen tank. His perfect blond hair escaped from its contained style and fell into his red face, his brown eyes were watery with tears, he was hunched over himself as if in pain, and yet-

And yet there was something Bran couldn’t help but want to see again in that moment of helpless, hysterical laughter. His companion was beautiful when he laughed (a real laugh, the one with the wheezing and the tears and the clutching of the stomach), and Bran… Bran didn’t make people laugh. Not like that. He was the serious one, the studious one, the one who was too blunt and critical and (quite frankly) mean. The only people who ever laughed at what he said was Morrigan (a kindred spirit who understood what it meant to have to hone a tongue as sharp as a knife) and Alistair (who was entirely too generous with his kind heart). But this man- Bran wanted to draw more laughter out of him. Wanted to pull away the artifice and draw out the sincerity, wanted to strip off the perfection and see him as he was-

“Oh, you are truly a delight,” the man declared, wiping a tear from his eye with the back of his hand. “Please do continue to offer your critiques, your honesty is quite refreshing, my…” he paused, as if searching for a nickname to call him.

“Bran Surana. And I do have a sweet tooth,” Bran replied.

“Zevran Arainai. If I give you my slice of the tea cake will you proceed to rip apart my outfit? If I add another slice will you tear it off my person?”

“… that would require the entire cake,” and extra, Bran added, but the man- Zevran- only smiled and slid his slice of chocolate cake in front of Bran, raspberry jam glistening temptingly in the light. Zevran’s smile was playful, sharp, waiting like a predator watching its prey, like they were participants in a match that no one else knew they were playing. Bran drove his fork into part of the cake and offered the first bite to his new… Zevran. His new Zevran, because he didn’t offer bites of cake to strangers and his friends would guard their desserts from him no matter how much he threatened or pleaded. But Zevran was no longer a stranger, and he wasn’t a friend- he was simply Zevran, an oddity that Bran hadn’t quite figured out yet.

Bran liked puzzles, though, so that was fine.

“Your shoes cost more than my monthly stipend,” Bran remarked. “You’re terrible at blending in.”

“How interesting,” Zevran murmured. “It seems you’re the only one who has ever taken notice.” He leaned over the table, took a bite of the cake Bran offered, and retreated, his expression smug. A trace of frosting lingered on his lower lip before the tip of his pink tongue darted out to lick it. He did that on purpose, Bran realized as his heart raced. He was- was this flirting? It had to be! Delight and confusion danced inside of him as he jabbed his fork back into the cake and took a bite for himself. Rich chocolate complimented the sharp, tangy raspberry, and Bran shut his eyes to savor the flavors. Leliana was right: Josephine had provided excellent food.

Bran, his eyes still shut, obviously didn’t notice how Zevran’s eyes widened. He didn’t see the faint color that surfaced on his cheeks. He definitely didn’t hear the slightest, softest sigh that escaped Zevran’s lips. Bran was too busy enjoying his hard-won prize, an extra slice of chocolate cake in exchange of his sharpest critiques. But someone (two someone’s) noticed with varying degrees of interest and alarm.

“Josie, dear, who is that man sitting with my friend?” Leliana asked as she peered past the other party guests. She had a faint inkling that she knew exactly what, if not who, the man was. He’d been sniffing around Bran for weeks now. One meeting was happenstance, but two? Leliana didn’t believe in coincidences. All she needed was confirmation, and Josie, sweet and smart Josie, turned her head. Her dangling green and gold earrings glinted in the light.

“Oh, Zevran? Don’t worry, he’s mostly harmless,” Josephine assured her. “Works in corporate… data analysis.”

Leliana’s gaze narrowed. “Data analysis. Really, Josie,” she muttered. “I recognize a Crow when I see one.”

“He’s off the clock right now,” Josie whispered back. “But look! I’ve never seen him so flustered!”

Leliana had to concede that Josephine might have a point. The Crow- Zevran- was blushing as bright red as a traffic light while Bran, oblivious, dug into his dessert. So much for a corporate… data analyst. The poor man looked like he might expire on the spot as he watched Bran indulge his sweet tooth.

“I see,” Leliana murmured as the scene played out before her. “I… see.”

[sakurauchiha2018]

“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” for SasuSaku (plus if it's Sakura saying it to Sasuke) HAHAHA

Hi @kairi-chan....I know it’s about time I responded to this ask. Whelp, better late than never 😂 So let’s get to it

Maddening 

Rating T+ (Some cursing but mostly idiotic people in love)

College AU, One Shot

Just another day of the most frustrating day of our lives....college finals. Books have covered my bed, desk, dining table, hell even my toilet has been home to a medical book while I was attempting to get ready. Only a few more test and I’m finished with medical school. At this point it’s felt like a lifetime but in reality it’s only been 8 years in the making. 

My foot bounced nonstop while Professor Shizune paced through the desks, her eyes felt like daggers. There’s no doubt in my mind that she will be reporting any and all results to Lady Tsunade. The woman has the ability to hire and fire any doctor within Konaha. Someone that also happens have been my mentor since I was twelve. I don’t want to let her down. She may have high expectations for my results but mine are higher. Chief Surgen is my goal and I will reach it. Slamming the door open, the early spring air hits me in the face. The stinging sensation is welcomed as a distraction from the medical jargon swirling in my mind. 

“Sakura-chan! Over here!” A loud, screeching voice breaks me from my thoughts as I look up to see my blond headed best friend and my crush since primary school. Naruto is dressed head to toe in orange workout clothes, finished off with a pair of worn in black air forces. I know that Kushina buys him better clothes than that but he’s been hopelessly in love with orange since he was six. On the open side of the spectrum Sasuke is dressed in a pair of black cargo pants, black shirt and a black and white flannel. His signature combat books are tied loosely on his feet. His hair in it’s casual messy state. Even after so many years he still manages to make my heart flutter. Or it might be a heart palpitation.

“What is it Naruto? I need to get some coffee and study for my last final for Professor Kakashi’s psychology class.” Something seems off with the two of them. Naruto has been moving his gaze between Sasuke and I since I started to walk over to them. 

“We know that you’re so stressed and probably haven’t been eating properly.” Naruto snickers as he reaches out to pinch at my sweater covered side. He’s got me there. I think I’ve been to Starbucks at least five times a day for the past three weeks. Thinking back on it, when was the last time I ate something besides a bagel? 

“Dobe, you can tell just by how her hair is tossed up into a messy bun. When’s the last time you brushed that thing?” Leave it to Sasuke to be straight to the point. I elbow the man in the side before walking past the two, turning my head over my shoulder waiting for another dumbass comment on my appearance. 

“Good job teme. You made her mad. Anyways Sakura-chan, we wanted to take you to dinner or at least cook something for you at our apartment. Which will soon be yours too. I mean you’re finally about to graduate and move into the city with us!” Naruto skips up beside me and adjusts his strides to match with mine, Sasuke lingers just behind us. No doubt he has his hands buried in his pockets. 

“Can you stop yelling moron? People are trying to take tests and no one really wants to hear your voice.” Sasuke groans as he finally gets back into line with us. 

“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal. Seriously what’s up your ass today?” Sasuke glares down at me and rolls his eyes. Yeah...something’s really off. Normally Sasuke can at least participate in the banter. But today he’s stone faced. 

“Just ignore his ass Sakura-chan. Teme woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Anyways, how about you come over to our apartment at seven tonight. You can eat dinner and then we can bring you back to campus.” The offer is very tempting considering I haven’t spent much time with my best friends in a month. 

“Deal, your apartment at seven. I’m going back to my apartment to shower and I’ll catch a taxi or something.” 

“Hn, I’ll just wait with you until then. It’s only a few hours anyways and the dobe already has the food prepped.” Raising a brow at him, I shoot Naruto a look and all he can do is shrug his shoulders. 

“Alright! See you two then. Maybe Hinata-chan can come over and help me get everything cooked.” Before we can even reply back, he’s on the phone and not paying attention to the world around him. Typical Naruto. You wouldn’t be able to tell that he’s on the way to be VP of Uzumaki Technologies. 

The space around us is quiet as we walk across campus to my apartment. It’s small, one bed and one bath but big enough for me until I graduate. Unlocking the door, I step to the side and allow Sasuke to walk in and plop himself down on my couch. Just like Naruto, the soon to be VP of Uchiha Financial is a typical 27-year-old man. Brooding and the occasional loner. 

“If you don’t want to be here, then you can leave Sasuke. I’m perfectly capable of getting to your apartment alone.” Huffing I slam my book down on my dining table and take a few strides to my bedroom. He’s gotten under my skin yet again. 

“Look who needs a Happy Meal now. Dropping my honorific and storming away from me.” It’s something I’ve tried to make a habit of. I spent too long trying to get the young Uchiha to notice me. Sasuke-kun was an immediate response in my vocabulary that it took Ino and our girl group getting me drunk and in tears to finally decide to drop it. That was two years ago and now he has a problem with it. 

“What do you want from me Sasuke? I haven’t used an honorific for over two years and now you have a problem with it? There’s usually something up your ass but today there’s something extra crammed up there.” I continue getting ready for dinner. Stripping down to just my cami and underwear, I walk into the short hallway. Arms folded across my chest and I stare at the man sitting in front of me. 

The few seconds feel like an eternity. But when he doesn’t move, I roll my eyes and step into my bathroom and the door closes with a slam. Who the fuck does he think he is? He’s been like a plague to my heart since the day I realized that I would never stand a chance. I’m his girl best friend, the one that the girls go to for advice on how to win his heart over. Or worse, how to end the night in his bed. 

Pulling my cami above my head, my bathroom door slams open and Sasuke’s eyes almost have a red tint to them as he glares at me. My arms swiftly come down to cover my chest, who the fuck does he think he is. My temper starts to rise but I instantly cower as he makes a few steps in front of me. 

“Do you not realize how maddening you are? You aren’t afraid to question me, make fun of me. You aren’t afraid to put me in my place. It makes me mad, it drives me nuts. Sakura Haruno you are literally the most annoying and maddening woman I’ve ever met in my life.” Sasuke is out of breath by the time he finishes. There are parts of my brain that make me want to respond in anger. But there are other parts that want me to cry. What is the whole point of this confession?

“Maddening? Annoying? You know if you’re trying to compliment a woman those aren’t the words I would suggest. But I’ll ask you one more time, Sasuke, what do you want?” I straighten my posture and meet his gaze with as much conviction. 

“I want you! I’m so sick of you pretending that you don’t want the exact same thing. You dropped my honorific two years ago. Around the same time that Karin bitch started following me like a damn puppy. Don’t think that Ino doesn’t talk to Sai, who just so happens to work with me. You have called me Sasuke-kun since that day we shared a bento box in primary school. You called me Sasuke-kun when that moron Hashi left you all alone at our middle school dance, your green eyes were red from crying and you just wanted to go back to my house and watch movies. You called me Sasuke-kun in your valedictorian speech. It’s Sasuke-kun that you whisper when you fall asleep on my couch after watching those dumb romcoms. I’m still saved as Sasuke-kun in your phone. So tell me why did you drop my honorific?” His breathing is ragged and I swear his eyes are blood red. He really remembered all that…

“Because no matter what I’ll never be good enough for you. I’m not these skinny little wanna be models that throw themselves at you. I’m not the business woman that basically serves themself to you in your office. I am who I am. Someone that works for 12 to 20 hours a day, covered in blood, sweat, tears. Someone that doesn’t remember to brush her hair because she’s too focused on her career and saving lives. I’m not someone you can take to these business dinners or someone that fits in with the family traditions.” 

“I don’t want those trashy women. All they want is the Uchiha looks and money. And I know who you are. I’ve known you since we were children. I want every piece of you, even if that means that I have to brush your hair for you. As for my family, Mikoto already assumes that you’re going to be her daughter in the future. She pesters me every day about you.” 

There’s a shift in the air around us, Sasuke steps back from me with a chuckle and wipes his face with both hands. Raking his fingers through his already messy hair, somehow making it look better. His confession starts to register in my brain and I can’t think straight. Why didn’t he just say something?! All these years of fucking mind games. 

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” I reach out and shove at his shoulder. He just shrugs his shoulders and his infamous smirk plasters itself on his lips.

“I wanted to wait until you were done with school. I knew how much all of this meant to you. Even though there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that you wouldn't make it. So you could imagine how it felt when Naruto started to dig through my old stuff from high school. He found all the proof he needed and has been pestering me for the past month about asking you out.” There’s a pink tint to his cheek as he looks down to the ground. 

“So that’s why you were cranky earlier outside of the medical building.” He nods his head as an answer. Back to the silent type. 

“Yeah, needless to say I was in a mood. But you really didn’t need to call me out and say I needed a happy meal. I’m not a child.” Sasuke doesn’t meet my gaze, I can’t help but burst out laughing. I did kinda call him out earlier, but what else am I for? 

“What else are girlfriends for?” That word makes him look at me in amazement. Like I was the shiny new toy waiting under the Christmas tree. He smiles widely before shaking his head in agreement. 

“But please never tell me to get a happy meal again. That was just embarrassing.”

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from The Lost Tomb, part 3

I didn’t mean for this to stray into angst but like the lack of updates with Li Cu in LTR?? I had to do it to em.

Wushanju Crew Chat, 11:05pm

Li Cu: what’s up losers I’m outside

Li Cu: someone come on and open the damn door

Wang Meng: Language:(

Li Cu: fine, someone come on and open the damn door please

Snake Eyes Chat, 7:00am

Wu Xie: hey are you awake? Sorry I missed you coming in:) was finishing up some work. How was the end of your first semester? Did that geology paper go well? Did the food budget work out or do you need some extra money next semester?

Li Cu: yeah about your work

Li Cu: heard a little rumor

Li Cu: about you going through some stuff during ur recent trip

Li Cu: some stuff you maybe forgot to mention

Li Cu: and you told me we gotta check in with stuff, so this is me checking in, okay

Wu Xie: oh? What stuff?

Li Cu: idk just like

Li Cu: THE STUFF WITH YOU ALMOST FUCKING DYING FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND THE WAREHOUSE SHIT AND ERJING AND PEOPLE HURT YOU AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A THUNDER CITY AND NOONE FUCKING CALLED ME ABT THOSE PARTS ONCE

Wu Xie: oh. That stuff.

Li Cu: yeah asshat I’m in the kitchen whenever you’re ready to explain your fucking bullshit. Also you’re out of milk wtf how am I supposed to make breakfast here

Main Chat, 11:14am

Wu Xie: okay so it’s possible I fucked up a little bit.

Wang Pangzi: THERES JUST SO MUCH YOU COULD BE REFERRING TO I DONT KNOW WHERE TO START

Zhang Qiling: What’s wrong?

Honorary Wu Chat, 11:30am

Wang Pangzi: KID IM SO SORRY THAT PUNK IS A TRAINWRECK BUT YOU KNEW THAT

Wang Meng: Welcome home, Li Cu <3 not much has changed, ultimately.

Wang Pangzi: IT DIDNT EVEN OCCUR TO ME THAT HE WOULDNT TELL YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT IT ONCE THE REST OF US FIGURED IT OUT

WAIT HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

Li Cu: it’s okay. not your fault, uncle. Doesn’t matter how I found out. Wait wait hold on what do you mean “the rest of us figured it out” who figured it out

Wang Pangzi: SAY HELLO LIU SANG

Liu Sang: …hello.

Wang Pangzi: SAY MORE THAN THAT.

Liu Sang: uh…so you’re Wu Xie’s protégé, huh?

Li Cu: oh well howdy there homewrecker

Liu Sang: Excuse me??

Zhang Qiling: I think someone on the roof is calling me and I should go find out.

Wang Meng: I would also very much like to be removed from this conversation.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHAHA KIDDO IVE MISSED YOU

Li Cu: all I’m saying is aren’t you the little creep who’s obsessed with Xiao Ge

Liu Sang: ???

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu is referring to a brief period of irrational thought on Wu Xie’s part, where he mistakenly believed you to be a threat to our relationship.

Liu Sang: what do you mean a threat??

Wang Pangzi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIANZHEN HAD “A BRIEF PERIOD OF IRRATIONAL THOUGHT”

YOUVE MET YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT

Wang Meng: can you please take me off this chat.

Liu Sang: Wait, so Wu Xie told you about me, but…reading between the lines, he didn’t mention the cancer or anything bad that happened? Oh yikes.

Li Cu: don’t change the subject “Liu Sang”

if that is your real name

Like yeah you’re right abt it but still

just saying

heard you got good ears but I’ve got snake powers

kinda

so like no more funny business okay you superhearing harlot

Wang Meng: LANGUAGE, LI CU. IN THIS HOUSE WE SHOW GOOD MANNERS.

Wang Pangzi: LMAO OH DO WE NOW

Zhang Qiling: Li Cu, this is all unnecessary and childish. Please apologize.

Li Cu: you say that now bruh but apparently you weren’t complaining when he was all “idol this” and “idol that”

oh and hey Wang Meng while we’re here can I show you my business class grade report later bc Wu Xie is all “what matters is that you learned and enjoyed the experience” blah blah all eat pray love you know how he gets and I want to actually discuss areas to improve so that when I take over this joint I do better than Wu Xie? Tho that shouldnt be hard lol

Wang Meng: hurtful but accurate. I’ll bring my best red pen:)

Liu Sang: oh my god. I’m too jetlagged to keep up with any of this.

Wang Pangzi: BEST. DAY. EVER. IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR HEI XIAZI.

Not A Homewrecker Chat, 11:52am

Liu Sang: Okay, we started off on the wrong foot.

Li Cu: I agree let’s start over

Start with how your little prank game almost got ppl killed

Liu Sang: And I seriously regret that. But we moved past that.

Wow, he seriously skipped over so much bullshit but didn’t skimp on mine, huh.

Li Cu: AHA so you ADMIT IT

Liu Sang: I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. That I’ve come to see Xiao Ge as a person and mentor, rather than an idol. I count Pangzi and Wu Xie as my close friends. I’m going to be staying here with them right now, I hope you can be okay with that.

Li Cu: see in my head you were going to be a lot less mature about it and I had a bunch of great follow-up insults planned

Liu Sang: I figured. I’d like us to be friends, though. Or at least not enemies.

Li Cu: okay but only bc you don’t know me yet so you won’t judge too much for this and I need to get this out to somebody I’ve been thinking about it for hours and my friends are still in finals and I’m stressing a little bit maybe

Liu Sang: ?

Li Cu: I yelled at dad

*Wu Xie sorry autocorrect

Liu Sang: …uh huh.

Li Cu: I yelled at him earlier. for keeping all that stuff from me. He started crying

Liu Sang: Wu Xie has been pretty emotional since we got back. Not necessarily your fault.

Li Cu: I made him cry right there at the kitchen sink and it felt like maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done

Snake venom and stabbings, no tears

Me saying I wouldn’t have gone to his funeral, all tears

Which I know was shitty to say but I was really mad

Liu Sang: If it’s any consolation, I think Wu Xie can understand the concept of being led by his emotions to make bad decisions…better than most people.

Li Cu: Xiao Ge came in then and looked weird

Like weirder than usual

Like he didn’t know which of us to be more mad at

Liu Sang: A common problem for the iron triangle, I understand.

Li Cu: I just ran out I didn’t have words right then and I feel stupid

but whenever they come back from their walk I’m gonna say sorry and stuff bc i could’ve come home to his funeral and I’m mad about it but also like. I could have come home to his funeral. I can get mean when I’m in a freakout mood. It’s not like I was scared or anything at all I don’t get scared really anymore ever but just like. Freaked out.

Liu Sang: He’s probably going to say sorry, too.

Li Cu: sorry I called you a homewrecker. Didn’t mean to slut-shame either

Liu Sang: I admit that after the initial shock, it was pretty funny. Super hearing harlot, it should be on my business card;)

Li Cu: this situation with Wu Xie is weird but kinda good ya know. And I have these freakouts sometimes that something maybe bad could happen to this situation. So consider this a shovel talk. But like, also not a shovel talk at the same time.

also I appreciate you saving his life and whatnot

Liu Sang: Noted. Now. Coffee?

Li Cu: sounds sick.

Be in the kitchen in 10. You can pick out what we watch for the household tv show tonight. no way is Wu Xie choosing some dry documentary about gravestone rubbings again. Pangzi just watches real housewives reruns and Xiao Ge won’t watch tv after he caught the last half hour of A Walk To Remember. Also i need my phone now to send some $ to Hei Xiazi since I owe him for…providing some intel

Liu Sang: Not even surprised.

[sirisuorionblack]

Wonders in the Rain

Remus Lupin x CEO!Reader

Summary - After being unemployed for very long Remus reluctantly allowed his best friend to find him a job as the PA of her boss. And he would forever be grateful to her for that.

Warnings - Metions of death. 

A/N   This is also a fic written for @leydileyla 's 1K followers celebration. And now this fic is by far the longest I’ve written with 4K words. So, enjoy!

You groaned, throwing your pen onto the pile of papers and stood up from the confinement of your study desk and slowly walked towards the coffee machine to fill in the third cup of coffee since the morning and it wasn’t even past noon.

It was difficult and exhausting being the CEO of the most renowned company at the age of 21. It was certainly something you hadn’t expected when two years ago your mother said it would be you who continues her legacy and take care of the company in her death bed. You weren’t ready when you were announced the CEO right after the funeral, the grief inside you never had time to dissipate.

You remember so vividly as you stood in the corner of the room, dressed in all black, eyes swollen as the aftermath of losing your world overnight took a toll on you. Your little brother, at the mere age of 11 looked up at you with wide eyes unknown of what was going on as he clung to you, tightly and you held him as tight, afraid you would lose him just as you lost…the man who the cause for the illness of your mother. Her husband, your father, whose name spurred rage in you as you recollected him arguing with your mother and leaving you and your brother to watch as your mother collapsed onto the floor. 

You smiled pleasantly as your eyes fell on the beautiful woman you had the privilege to call your mother. It was her last picture. Your brother and you were huddled in her arms, a wide smile on your face as your mother kissed your forehead, your eye closed as your brother looked at you, his head thrown back as laughter engulfed him. It was like the time was frozen and you would rather be that girl - carefree and filled with happiness than…you, life so dark you can’t see anything except for the little shine that you so dearly held close to you in protection - your brother.

That was all in your life. Brother and company. Nothing in the orbit of love. It disgusted you ever since you saw your father leave. You despised that feeling of giving someone so much of yourself only for them to dust it off as though it was nothing but a speck of dirt. 

“Ms (L/N)?” your trail of thoughts were interrupted by a sweet voice. You composed yourself, placing the photograph on the table and turned around. It was Lily Evans, an employee of yours who you could very well say was close to you. She knew everything about you, from what you do first in the morning to your drastic sleeping schedule. She almost knew how you would react in every situation yet you couldn’t label your relation with her.

“Yes,” you turned around, avoiding her eyes. She stepped into your lavish office the only person ever having the privilege of being allowed to.

“So, there is this really good friend of mine-” she started with a feared voice only to be cut off by you.

“Evans, please, if this is some sort of a recommendation-” You said and paused as she hurriedly said, “No, no, no. I mean, yes, but he really deserves it,” 

“Fine, what is it?” you said, sighing as you once again took a seat behind your messy desk. 

“I’ve heard people say things about you never having a PA and my friend is actually, I mean, would actually love to take that position,” she said awkwardly. You smirked and leaned back on your chair, looking at her intently as she blushed under your intense gaze. 

You shook your head, “Fine, but I want to meet him and then I will decide,” 

You watched as Lily’s was brightened and she nodded enthusiastically, “Just an hour and he will be here to meet you,” 

You hesitated thinking of your schedule before she said, “You are free the next few hours,”

“And how do you know that?” you asked, raising your eyebrows. 

“I just heard,” she said, looking at the soles of her shoes. 

You rolled your eyes, “No wonder I can’t keep any secrets,” 

You were known for many conspiracy theories and gossips. It was difficult at the start, many breakdowns later you were broken enough that all those knives passed right through the holes, never affecting you. 

You were not excited about the arrival of Lily’s friend and time passed so quickly that before you knew it there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” you mumbled, too endorsed in your work to even look up or comprehend the sudden presence. 

“M-Ms (L/N),” you heard a deep voice say. The voice was new and one you had never heard of and your head automatically whipped to look at the source, startling the poor guy before you. Scars were littering his face and had a failed attempt at masking the exhaustion. He looked weak although there was a pleasant aura surrounding him, buzzing around him with energy. 

He played with the hem of his denim jacket, shifting from one foot to another. His ripped jeans and slightly dirty shirt telling he wasn’t prepared for this meet. He gulped, “My name is Remus, uh, Remus Lupin,” 

You blinked and stood up from your chair, “Who-why are you here?”

Remus’ eyes widened, “I-um, I, Lily told you wanted to see me. I mean, like wanted to meet me before you gave the, uh, the job,” 

For the first time, Remus saw you smile. Remus always admired you, the power and authority that radiated off you was bewildering when considered you were just 21, a year younger than himself and a successful CEO while here he was jobless and wandering around aimlessly. 

Of course, it hurt that ego instilled in him but he wasn’t gonna lose the opportunity of having some money in his hand to pay off his bills. Working as a PA to a girl younger than you wasn’t often considered a better one, and his mother told that very thing when he had called her minutes ago. 

You chuckled, “Take a seat,” you sat down and beckoned him to a chair placed on the opposite side of the desk. You closed the cap of your pen as Remus awkwardly walked towards the desk. 

“So, tell me something about you,” You said, your eyes boring into his eyes. They were gorgeous to Remus and it was terrifying when the reality set in that he was sitting before the (Y/N) (L/N). Someone he had admired only while scrolling through his phone and watching the news. 

You shook your hand dismissively, “I’ll rephrase that,” you sat in a more comfortable position on the chair, “Tell me about the companies you’ve worked for before, your qualification and some basic information about you like your age and things. If you don’t mind, that is,” 

“No, no, of course,” Remus said, “I just graduated from my university and I’ve worked for a minor publishing house for about six months,”

“And why aren’t you working with them anymore?” You asked but immediately asked him to continue as the subtle melancholy wove into his facial expressions and his fingers twitched. 

“Um, I studied English literature and yeah,” He said, shrugging and finally a small smile formed on his face.

You chuckled, shaking your head, “Where are you from?”

“Wales,” he said, without leaving a gap and was weirded out to find the odd feeling in his stomach as he saw you smile and chuckle over again in the short span of time you had met him. 

“Beautiful,” You glanced at the desktop placed on the side of your table and then looked back at him, “It's not gonna be an easy ride of you being my PA you might know the controversies that sparked in the past,”

“Yes, mam,” Remus nodded, his hands that were tightly clasped together was sweating profusely. 

“You will be sent an email that will let you know about the rest of the details. Make sure you read it thoroughly,” You said, glancing at the computer screen again. 

“Yes mam,” Remus said, fiddling with his fingers. 

“Also, the date when you can join will be mentioned in the email itself,” you smiled at him, “And that’s about it,” 

“Oh, alright,” Remus stood up slowly. 

“Your appointed, Mr Lupin,” You said once again and watched as the glow finally found his face after your confirmation. He grinned happily and said, “Thank you very much, Ms (L/N),” and dashed out of the room without another word, leaving you feeling extremely happy for some reason as you returned to your tedious paper.

Two months, that’s how long you had known Remus and over time it was appropriate to say the two of you grew closer.

You had never had anyone to stand behind you and guide you to what is right, it was always you, yourself alone in the vast arena named society feeling scared and little in the insides while having a brave facade outside. It was extremely difficult to push everything aside and struggle to move forward alone and without proper guidance.

But ever since Remus was appointed two months ago, he had never left your side. It was as though somebody had stepped beside you on the high podium you stood on, facing what was worse than galloping hordes. The comforting aura radiating off him calmed the burning insecurity and fear drilled into you. He stood like a guard, a mentor and a…friend. You’d go a far as to say family as you saw the ways he behaved with your brother.

Remus never made you regret a thing in your regretful life. It was almost bewildering in the start at what he could do. He had made a tiny hole in the wall you had created for yourself from the world. And the little crack Remus created bombarded him with everything he knew that you wouldn't have told anyone else.

You weren’t aware how he knew all those things about you that even you didn’t. It was as though he knew exactly what you would do before you even thought of it. Remus Lupin did wonders to you.

And (Y/N) (L/N) did wonders to him. Remus couldn’t calm his nerves the first day he walked into your office in that posh suit and saw that bright sparkle in your beautiful eyes. He fell. Quite literally, it was extremely awkward when he tripped over his own foot and had to hold onto the door handle. But you had a smile and beckoned him inside saying it happens all the time and how you had to change the layout of the office. 

Just as Sirius Black - the love god as he demanded to be called - predicted, by the end of the first month, Remus was smitten over you. He couldn’t find a reason to dislike you in fact, every minuscule detail he learned about you just made him like you more.

One drunken confession to the “love God”, Remus was clear of his feelings to you and he was never one to understand his feelings, rather run away from them and he had lost a handful of relations like that and he never wanted to do it again yet there wasn’t a chance he could tell them to you and the victim of the mess of his love life was James (Remus thought he deserved it). 

Remus groaned, leaning back on his chair and rubbed his eyes. He received the mail for the annual conference that would be held where thousands of companies would be having a discussion. It was a really good idea but you hated it and just yesterday he had listened to you speak passionately against it, although Remus just heard the first few sentences and the rest of them falling into his deaf ears as he stared at you. 

“Remus,” Lily shook his arm, “Remus!” 

“I'm listening,” He mumbled and he didn’t have to see her to know she would have rolled her eyes. 

“What is the email about?” She asked. 

“Read it yourself, Evans,” he said with a sigh.

“Is this what you would have told to the love of your life?” she said but he could hear her voice drawl as she read the mail. Remus mumbled, “I don’t love,”

“Sure you don’t, Lupin,” she scoffed. Remus knew what was happening and who she was referring but he would dare say it himself and be teased relentlessly. 

“So, why are you groaning to attend a conference,” Lily asked. 

“She hates that,” Remus said, still not opening his eyes. 

“Ah, she hates everything,” Lily said and he failed to notice the smirk on her lips as he defended you and glared at her. 

“First of all, it’s overseas and she said they would be poorly organised. Second, she doesn’t hate everything, alright, you just don’t know what she likes,” He said, sitting straight on his chair. 

“Sure, sure, Remus,” She said, teasing and left not before ruffling his mass curls, “You suck, do you that?”

”Yep, ask James of it!” She said, winking at him as Remus groaned, disgusted. 

“Ms (L/N),” Remus managed to leave his seat 30 minutes later, mentally preparing himself. You looked at him with a bright smile and beckoned him in by waving your hand enthusiastically. It physically hurt Remus to think he would be the one delivering the news that would wipe the grin off your face. 

“The annual conference-” Before Remus could even complete his sentence he saw your mood shift completely by how you slammed your head against your study desk. He winced. 

“When is it?” He could hear you mumble. You would be thoroughly pissed if he told when it was. Remus shifted his weight from one foot to another and said, “Day after tomorrow,” 

“Day after tomorrow!?” you yelled, whipping your head to look at him. Remus nodded apologetically. 

And here you were two days later, in your private plane flying to a place where you dreaded to go. Although the only good thing in this was seeing Remus in a causal outfit other than his tailored black suit even that was overpowered by the fact that it was seven in the evening. 

“We will be there in about two hours,” Remus said, scrolling through his phone, “You can take a nap and once we reach there we need to get to the location they sent by a car they have arranged,” 

“They arranged a car?” You asked, blinking at him.

“Yes, they did,” he shrugged, closing his phone and keeping it in the holder. He looked into your bewildered eyes.

“Do we have a backup plan?” you asked, glaring at him. 

“We-no? Why do we need a backup plan?” He asked, puzzled. 

“Remus, do you remember when I told you about their ability to organising things?” You said, looking at him accusingly. Remus took a deep breath, he had not just forgotten them but ignored them too. 

“Uh,” He gulped and rubbed the back of his neck, “We-”

”Lupin, I swear I am not walking miles!” you scolded. And for some reason, Remus’ damned mind could predict exactly what Sirius would have said at the moment and was almost tempted to say the exact words he would have said, “I’ll carry you, don’t worry,” but Remus knew better.

“You won’t, promise,” He gave thumbs up, “Now, you get your needed nap, yeah?”

“Would you leave?” you asked, staring into Remus’ eyes with mixed emotions and he couldn't place a finger on what exactly it was to give a response, so he resorted to the good ol’, “Do you want me to leave?” 

You took a deep breath. Did you want him to leave? You were torn between yourself. One part of you wanted him to stay with you, having no strength to battle with your thoughts alone although he wasn’t going to do much, his sole presence was comforting for you. The other part was scared. Scared of what he could do and just fear blocking every thought of yours. 

But the fear, somehow, for the first time was brought down and you whispered, “Stay,” and who was Remus to disobey that.

After two exhausting hours confined in that plane, the first thing you did once you got off the plane was crack your joints while walking outside and Remus stood on the side chuckling at you. 

“Well, you are the one who is supposed to do it,” You said, rolling your eyes with a smile. He walked to your side, “I don’t exactly ‘cause I knew how to sit on a plane,” 

“Oh is it now?” You scoffed. 

Remus hummed, “Yep!” 

“How else do you sleep in that uncomfortable seat?”

“You wouldn’t kill me if I said, would you?” He asked, looking at you cautiously.

You shrugged, “It depends,” 

“Alright. Um, that’s not reassuring but I’ll tell - you don’t sleep when you on a plane,” Remus said and watched as you whipped your head towards him and glaring.

“What sort of a creature are you?!”

“A good one,” 

“Ooh, getting brave now are we, Lupin,” You bumped your shoulder with him and Remus chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Remus, how long will it take?” You asked glaring at him, who spoke frantically to someone on his phone. The two of you were still in the airport after an hour or so and just like you warned the car has not yet arrived. You huffed and looked at the large window panels that showed the exit of the airport. The sun had already set, not a speck of it in the sky. It was pitch black, the half-moon already shining with the stars in its company. 

You always loved staring at the sky. It not just reminded of your mother but her interpretation. She always considered the moon to be herself when she was younger. The little stars close to it were you and your brother and the rest all were her employees and comrades. She later said the moon was you and the stars behind you were every single person you would meet and the beautiful night sky was reserved for a special person. However, you tried to oppose her point, she stood her stand and told you that one day you will understand it and perhaps it was about time you did. 

You felt someone touch your hand and when you turned to look, Remus was crouched before you, his scarred hand on top of yours. His bright eyes were apologetic as he stared into your eyes. He was confused about how watery it was. Remus scrunched his eyebrows, “Are you alright?”  You nodded with a smile. Remus sighed and held your hand tightly in his.

“The car didn’t come, isn’t it?” you asked with a smirk. Remus ducked his head low. He always felt extremely guilty when he couldn’t do the job he was given and certainly not when he ignored the instruction. 

He was surprised to hear you chuckle, “It’s alright,” You said, grinning at him.

Remus’ eyes widened, “Really?” 

You shrugged, “There isn’t much that I can do now, is it?” 

“I-I’m really sorry,” He hoped you would accept his apology. 

You laughed, “It’s OK, Remus, calm down and think of how we are going there now,” 

“Yes, about that the organizer said they would arrange us a motorbike,” Remus grimaced in anticipation of your reaction.

“Really?” You asked, your eyes widened in excitement. 

“Yeah, it’s actually there at the exit of the terminal,” he said. 

“Ah! Can we use it then?” sitting on the edge of the seat you asked him with a childish excitement making Remus’ heart swell happiness. He stared at you with a mild smile on your face as he chuckled. 

“That’s why it is there in the first place,” he said and watched your eyes lit up with no concern of the sass in his words that usually wasn’t ignored. 

“I wanna see it!” You stood up abruptly and pulled him up with you. Although getting slightly intimidated by how he towered over you, the profound excitement of finally seeing a motorbike coursed through your veins like fire. 

Remus chuckled, “Yes, of course,”

He couldn’t believe it. Remus couldn’t believe the sight before him - his ever stoic boss had her jaw dropped to the floor as she saw the motorbike.

It all quite made sense if he had to think of it, it was impossible for you to drive it down the streets anywhere back home but here it was rather unknown of your arrival, so you could zoom through the streets as you whished without a sense of fear. It was one of the reasons why you chose to travel in the night while announcing you would be leaving the country in the morning. 

“Ahh, this is so beautiful!” you gushed, walking closer and running your hand across the seat, “Can I drive? Please?” 

“As you should. I dunno to drive that,” Remus said, shrugging. 

“It’s alright,” You waved your hand, dismissively, “I’m not gonna judge,” 

As you swing your leg over the bike seat and adjust your coat, you said, “My mum got me one for my 18th birthday and I was obsessed over it, like that’s was my only means of transportation,” 

“That’s brilliant,” Remus said as he planned the first thing he would do once he is back home. 

You and Remus were high on adrenaline as the two of you zoomed into the night. The feeling of cutting through the air with wide grins and hollering happily was indeed beautiful and in the back of your mind, the astonishment of how long it had taken you for being like this again baffled. 

But it all went down once the light drizzle became fully-fledged rain. Having to park the motorbike by some bus stop, the two of you held your jackets above your head and ducked inside, still grinning. 

“Ah, the bike is getting wet,” you said, the thought dampening your mood. 

“This doesn’t seem to be stopping any soon,” Remus said, taking a deep breath as he scanned the surroundings. It was pitch black except for the moon shining down at you. It was such a sight for sore eyes when Remus turned to look at you, your coat was tightly wrapped around yourself, your hair dripping with the rainwater, your eyes shining as you watched your surrounding. You looked divine. 

Remus didn’t know what he was thinking when he took hold of your hand and ran out of the bus stop. “Remus! What are you doing!?” You yelled as he pulled you to the middle of the deserted road.

“You said to me once you loved dancing in the rain!” he said, pushing the water out of his eyes. 

“But-” You looked around, the adrenaline still rushing inside and it indeed was your dream to be out in the streets dancing while rain poured down and the night sky guarded you. Remus let go of your hand, his eyes never leaving you as your legs slowly started moving as though by nature of the memory. 

Time slipped through your hands and before you knew it, after all the laughter, you were back in Remus’ arms, staring into his eyes. You always loved them, feeling as though they held mystery amidst them although always raw. You knew on your fingertips how he felt at that moment when you could just see his eyes but now, it was unknown. 

Remus had a gentle smile on his face as he protectively had his arms wrapped around your waist, a reassurance to himself that you were indeed protected from anything and everything. He leaned down to keep the two of you close and warm. 

“Remus,” you whispered, silently.  He smiled, allowing his eyes to shut as the echo of his name tumbling from your lips ran in his ears and before he knew it before he had control on himself, Remus blurted, “I love you,” 

He was stunned to hear the tiny gasp leaving your mouth and his heart was wrenched out when he saw the disbelief and incredulity in your eyes, “What’s wrong?” 

“What’s wrong!?” you yelled and Remu was taken aback, “Is that what you ask after telling me you love me?!”

”I am sorry," his statement ended more like a question as he looked at you with wide eyes. The rain was still pouring and he didn’t know if it was the rain or your own tears in your eyes. 

“Jerk!” You yelled, your fingers holding his drenched shirt tightly as your chest heaved rapidly. 

Remus wasn’t confused, he was beyond just confused about your reaction. You were yelling at him like he was some stupid but never letting go of him and now he was never the best at these messes. 

Clearing his mind off all the thoughts he cautiously moved his hand to rest on the side of your cheek and watched as your eyes closed, your own hand moving to hold his tightly.

Remus leaned down and kissed your forehead. He had never seen you more vulnerable as a sob escaped your lips and you slammed against his chest, your arm tightly wrapped around his torso. 

It was the first time in three years had you been kissed on the forehead and that alone proved to you that Remus was different. He is your night sky.

Remus held you tightly in the comfort of his arms as you whispered “I love you” into his shoulder. He never knew when the rain stopped. And now the surrounding was fragile. It was just you and him in the deserted street, the freshly smelling earth, the stars and moon shining down at you…and love.