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imsadstuff · 2 years ago

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50 days to fall in love - A Jeon Jungkook fic

Synopsis: A New Variety Show, 50 days to fall in love reality show follows different couples around for 50 days. The six couples are set up with eachother based on a scientific compatibility test, the test assumes that 50 days is the perfect time to fall in love with someone. Let’s watch as these young people navigate through life and love. Word Count: 12k+ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook and reader Genre: fluff (tooth-rotting fluff), some very light angst and slice of life Authors note: I've been obsessed with Asian dating shows, so I wrote a fic about them because that's the way my brain works. please don't be a ghost reader!

Episode 1

“Hello, I’m Jeon Jungkook” Jungkook greets the camera cheerfully taking a seat.

“Can you briefly introduce yourself?” the interviewer asks and Jungkook companies sitting straight in his seat.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, 27 years old. Many of you may remember me as a child actor in multiple movies and tv shows. I don’t act as much anymore, I set up a production house with my friend so I’m more of a director now” Jungkook says looking off-camera.

“What about hobbies?” “I have a bunch of them, I do boxing, I’ve been very into motorbikes lately, videography used to be a hobby, now it’s my job, also food, I love food,” Jungkook says with all seriousness making even the production crew laugh.

“What would you describe as your ideal type?” Jungkook thinks for a good few minutes before answering this.

“Someone considerate and worth sharing my life with, I like someone who’s passionate about something, it doesn’t have to be work but I relate better with people who have this fire within them. I like the tsundere type, to be honest, someone who’s cold to others but warm with me” the last part makes Jungkook giggles at the last part.

“This is the compatibility test, 102 range-based questions, please answer them diligently” Jungkook’s a little too shocked when he’s handed the booklet. “102 questions? Can I get a 100% match?” he asks curiously going through the questions.

“Hello I’m ___” you say to the camera sitting down.

“Can you introduce yourself a little bit?” “Sure, I’m ___, 26 years old. I recently moved back to Seoul to be closer to my family.” you smile a little as you say that.

“I moved to New York for university when I was 18 and left New York at 25 as a Stock Analyst. I currently run a hedge fund with my father, my job is pretty much what defines me right now” you confess a little mortified about it.

“What about hobbies?” “I've been trying to cultivate new hobbies, I play tennis like once a month, I’ve been doing pottery for a few years now, I’m pretty good at it and, um, I collect expensive whiskey” you laugh as you say the last part.

“What kind of men do you date?” this question is a thinker, “I’d say boring” this honest answer makes the producer laugh too much. “It’s not really a negative thing, I’ve dated men from my industry and people in finance can be very boring. All the blame doesn’t have to be on them because I’m pretty boring too, in the past I’ve never really put effort into my relationships because work has been my only focus” you answer confidently sitting straight in the chair.

“Are you ready to put effort into your romantic relationships?” “Yes, it’s not that I have a problem being by myself, but it would be nice to have someone who helps you get through the day. Plus, I’m kinda the boss right now, so my workload is much more relaxed” the last part makes you laugh a little too much.

Your hands are a little clammy as you walk up to the restaurant, first dates are nerve-wracking enough, a first date with cameras just makes you more nervous. Jungkook arrived ten minutes before you, he can see you walking up to the table from the corner of his eye. Rubbing his hands against his jeans one last time, he stands up and greets you politely.

“Did I keep you waiting?” you ask the very handsome man in front of you. “No, I arrived early, my father says on time is late,” Jungkook says nervously sipping on his water.

“I like punctual guys,” you say and Jungkook smiles widely, feeling much better about this.

“Good for us I guess,” he says reading the menu to distract himself. “Do you drink? This place makes amazing cocktails” Jungkook says trying to get a read on you.

“Of course, I drink, I think I’m going to get an old-fashioned, there are very few places in Seoul that do a good old-fashioned” you can’t stop your nervous rambling at all.

“You must’ve lived abroad,” Jungkook asks closing the menu, he knew what he was going to order even before he got here.

“Oh yeah, shit, we didn’t really introduce ourselves,” you say and Jungkook can’t help but giggle at your nervousness.

“I’m ___, 26, I work in finance,” you say more interested in hearing what he has to say.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, 27, and I’m a director” Jungkook’s waiting for you to recognize him but that hasn’t happened yet.

“A director, that sounds interesting, what kind of projects do you work on?” you ask seeing the server approach the table.

“I’ll have an old-fashioned with Ribeye, medium rare with a side salad, can we do french fries for the table?” you ask looking up at Jungkook and he takes a second to shake his head yes. Jungkook isn’t as confident as you were while ordering his food, he’s still awed by it.

“Are you okay with walking, those heels seem kinda high?” Jungkook asks a little too concerned as you walk out of the steak house with him.

“Just make sure I don’t trip and hurt myself” you joke, feeling much more confident around him.

“Aye Aye captain” he jokes along too as you both walk down the pavement, walking towards the Han river.

“I was supposed to go to NYU too but couldn’t because of a project” Jungkook shares following up on your question about college earlier.

“That’s too bad, college degrees are going to be obsolete anyway,” you say honestly and Jungkook does the same thing he's been doing all night, looking away from you for a second with the biggest smile on his face.

“I haven’t been on a blind date in years” you confess stumbling a little and he catches you right away, his hand lingering around your waist for just a second.

“This is my first blind date,” he says and you turn to face him, shocked and outraged.

“With the way you look and how charming you are?” you say standing still and he does so too, with the river beside you.

“Good to know you think I’m hot and charming, but a blind date just never happened for me” “Glad to be your first,” you ask turning around and walking ahead of him again.

It’s around 2 am when the cab stops outside your apartment complex. Jungkook was supposed to be tired by now, but he was somehow more excited.

“So, will I be seeing you again?” you ask him as he leans on the cab. “Will I be seeing you again?” Jungkook turns the question around on you and you nod confidently.

“I’ll need your number then” he had been thinking about a moment to ask for your number all night, and now was perfect than ever.

“What should we do next? Definitely, something that doesn’t require you to wear heels” Jungkook helps you from stumbling over again, his hand feels hot even though he’s not touching you.

“It’s not me, it’s these messed up pavements, I can run in these” you defend yourself pushing some of your hair away.

“How about rock, paper and scissors to decide what we do next?” you suggest and Jungkook has to restrain himself, you’re perfect, a little too perfect for him. He loses immediately pulling a paper while you pull a scissor.

Comments:

Lola: Jeon Jungkook in a dating show might heal the world

SaggitariusQween: Jungkook’s already fallen in love, he doesn’t need the 30 days

Zzzzz: Get in line Jungkook, I too have a crush on ___

Yesto: their chemistry is off the charts

Episode 2

“What? Are you doing this show for real?” Namjoon asks Jungkook noticing all the cameras in his apartment.

“Of course I am, I can’t keep third-wheeling Aera and you for the rest of my life,” Jungkook says applying some moisturizer on his face.

“Which date is this? What’s she like?” Namjoon asks sipping on his coffee and lounging on the sofa.

“Second and she’s so cool, she’s outgoing and funny and just so confident,” Jungkook says walking into the living room while applying some lip balm.

“The strangest part of the date was she didn’t recognise me, or she did and she was too polite to mention that,” Jungkook says going through the stack of paperwork Namjoon brought.

“Isn’t that kinda great tho, she isn’t interested in you because you’re Jeon Jungkook, she’s interested in you just because”

Namjoon's words are ringing in his head as he drives to the location you texted him, it’s a pottery studio. Jungkook opens the door with his hip while holding onto the coffee he picked up on his way.

He catches you inspecting a plate when he startles you with a gentle tap on your shoulder. “Good morning!” you greet him excitedly forgetting about the ceramic plate.

“Morning, I got us coffee, did you have something to eat?” he asks handing you your warm latte, he remembered your coffee order.

“I did have a granola bar on my way here, you want one?” you ask getting a bar from your handbag and Jungkook chuckles taking it happily.

“It is frustrating how bad I am at this” Jungkook whines for the millionth time struggling with clay.

“You need to be gentle Jungkook” “I am being gentle ___” “No you aren’t, take a deep breath, be softer,” you say as your hands come around him and he immediately goes gentle.

A glass-like structure forms around within seconds and Jungkook looks up at you while you’re laser-focused on the pottery.

“How are you so good at this?” Jungkook asks as you’re both washing your hands,

“My mom taught me, she used to make handmade pottery” you say as Jungkook wipes his hand.

“You’re amazing at it, can we switch the stuff we made because I really want this bowl-plate thing you made,” he says handing you a fresh napkin.

“Sure, what colour do you want it to be,” you ask wiping the streaks of clay off your arms.

“What colour do you like” Jungkook asks getting another towel.

“A sage green, might look cute, might look like shit,” you say and Jungkook points to something on your face.

“Is it clay?” you ask still missing a spot. Jungkook reaches for your cheek, swiping the mark away, a simple touch sending shock waves through your body.

“So, after our first date like any normal person, I looked you up on Instagram,” you say and Jungkook sits up straight, sensing what’s coming.

“And I knew your name was familiar but I hadn’t joined the dots yet, why didn’t you tell me that you’re super famous,” you say looking up at Jungkook sitting across from you.

“It didn’t come up naturally, and I really didn’t want to rub you the wrong way by bringing it up” he answers cautiously fishing for the perfect piece of fried chicken.

“Is it a deal breaker?” he asks peaking a look at your face and to his surprise, you mouth a no.

“I was surprised in a good way, I’ve only dated guys whose jobs are similar to mine, that leads to similar lifestyles and hobbies, and two similar people dating are like two trains headed straight towards eachother, it is going to be a catastrophe” you take a beat to look at him and he has a neutral look on his face.

“We’ve led very different lives and we can learn from eachother, our lifestyles are very different so it will push each of us out of our comfort zone a few times, but it’s nice, it’ll keep us active. What do you think?” you turn the question around on him, laughing to help with the awkwardness.

“I completely agree with the similar people being a trainwreck waiting to happen, but the life philosophies and principles do need to coincide to have a long and healthy relationship,” Jungkook says as you both completely abandon the lunch.

“I was a little worried about you not being into me and my job,” Jungkook says about what he’s been thinking about since the first date.

“You’re so smart and confident, you know what you want and don’t want and I was worried I was in the don’t want column,” Jungkook says sipping on his coke and you look at him with the biggest smile ever.

“It’s shocking how good you can read me and if you were in the don’t want column, I wouldn’t be here”

“What do you have planned for the rest of the day?” you ask Jungkook as you’re walking to his car.

“I am meeting up with my tattoo artist to finish off a piece and then I have to go glass shopping,” Jungkook says adjusting his shirt.

“Glass like a prescription?” “Yeah my doctor wants me to wear glasses instead of lenses for a while, what do you have planned today” Jungkook knows you don’t work on Saturdays,

“nothing, might pick up some candy on my way back and watch a documentary” these plan don’t sound that bad to you, this is what you do on most your weekends.

“Wanna join me?” you agree immediately and the production sends off you with vlog cameras. Jungkook seems familiar with the tattoo parlour like he’s spent hours here.

“Do you have a tattoo?” Jungkook asks removing his shirt and revealing an arm full of tattoos, also a very lean torso.

“I do, but my parents don’t know” you whisper this, feeling the camera Jungkook mounted a few centimetres away.

“Where?” he whispers back with a sly smile. “Upper thigh” you whisper leaning closer to him.

“Oh” he shies away immediately looking away. “Do you want to get any more?” he asks as the tattoo artist starts with the tattoo.

“Maybe, I’m a little indecisive about the design and I feel like I’m going to regret them, do you regret any of these?” you ask taking a seat by him.

“Yes, but I’ve gaslit myself into believing they aren’t” Jungkook confesses with a giggle.

“My eyebrow piercing did hurt, my lip one not so much” Jungkook tells trying to comfort you.

“Why did you remove them?” you ask as the person marks a point on your nose. On a whim, you’ve decided to get a nose piercing because why not.

“For a movie, I was bored of them anyway” Jungkook says as you wince seeing the pin ready.

“I’m just going to pierce it, might hurt like a prick but it’s only going to last a few seconds,” the technician tells you and you feel your heart sink, your pain tolerance is bad.

“It’s going to be fine, you don’t have to go through this” Jungkook says in order to reassure you.

“No, I should have bigger fears in life than needles hurting me,” you say clutching onto Jungkook’s hand tight as the technician pierces you. Jungkook can feel how much it hurt you because of the way you’re holding onto him.

Jungkook can’t take his eyes off you as he’s driving you back, “What?” you ask and he looks away smiling.

“You look hot” it just slips out, Jungkook doesn’t feel as embarrassed about it.

“I wasn’t hot before the piercing?” you tease and Jungkook gets defensive immediately.

“No, um, that’s not what-” “I’m messing with you,” you say laughing and patting his arm as he stops outside your apartment complex. Jungkook’s quiet as he opens the car door for you, he leaves all the cameras in the car but forgets that you both have your mic packs on you.

“I had so much fun today,” he tells you, leaning against his car. “I did too,” you say pushing some of his long hair away from his face. The both of you are barely recorded by the camera still rolling in Jungkook’s car. The camera almost doesn’t catch how close the two of you are standing.

“Let’s have many fun days like today” you suggest looking at him. The camera doesn’t catch Jungkook holding onto your hand, grazing your hand with his thumb.

Comments:

Lola: I was hoping for a ghost moment and got it

SaggitariusQween: we support people maturely talking about what kind of relationships they want

Zzzzz: I agree Jungkook, ___ is hot

Yesto: the sexual tension is off the charts

Episode 3

“I just touched down in Incheon, I’m going to get a cab and sleep for a few hours” you talk to Jungkook over the phone, dragging your luggage.

“Alright, don’t get a cab, I’m waiting for you at arrivals” it’s hard not to spot Jungkook with a team of cameramen around him.

“I thought you were joking, I can’t believe you actually came” you skip a little as you walk closer to him still on call.

“I haven’t seen you all week, I was starting to forget you” Jungkook catches you off guard with the hug, but you lean on him for just a little while.

“I was just in and out of meetings for four days, I’m so sleep-deprived I’m starting to shake,” you tell Jungkook buckling in the car.

“Just sleep a little, your place is an hour and a half away” he didn’t drive to the airport either, he came here straight from set.

“No, I want to catch up with you. What did you do all week” you say as the driver changes lanes.

“I’ve been on set all week, the movie is in the last week of shooting” Jungkook’s a little sleepy himself, it’s 4 am, he’s supposed to be asleep right now.

Jungkook knocked himself out before you, you turn off the lights as gently as you can. Hoping the camera doesn’t catch you blushing like an idiot seeing him asleep. Somewhere along the way, after minutes of swinging and stirring awake in the car, you lean on him for the support, but also the warmth.

Jungkook gives up after a few attempts to wake you up are futile. Removing his seat belt, he brings his arm around you and you get comfortable immediately, this new warmth is also what stirs you awake.

“You stayed up to come to pick me up and I immediately fell asleep,” you say moving a little away from him while his arm stays put.

“Don’t worry about it, I feel much better knowing you got some rest” Jungkook says yawning behind his hand.

“What are we doing later today?” you say bending down to get some water, Jungkook is about to move his arm when you lean back like before.

“Bowling and wine bar, are you tired, do you want me to change the plans?” he asks and you mumble a no, falling asleep again.

“No, I just need five hours of sleep and coffee” “Have a big lunch or you’re going to be shaking because of coffee again,” Jungkook says with a smile, recalling a text from you.

“Yes, what time is it?” you ask reaching for his hand, his hands feel a little heavy, maybe you’re just too tired. “I’ll see you in 12 hours”

Jungkook’s body still feels a little sore as he’s walking up to the bowling alley, he feels a lot less tired as he sees you shaking your head to the music.

“I thought about making bowling a little more fun, we make a bet,” you tell Jungkook the minute he sits down.

“Bet, sounds fun, do you have something on your mind” “I do actually, whoever wins gets to design a tattoo for the loser,” you say and Jungkook perks up all excited.

“___, let me remind you, getting a tattoo removed is very expensive and painful,” Jungkook says arrogantly as he picks up a ball. “Jungkook, let me remind you, I am very bad at drawing,” you say throwing the ball and the ball completely misses.

You eventually do end up catching up with Jungkook, barely because this is the last round and Jungkook is leading by 8 points.

“___ last chance for you to recall the bet and let me win” what you’ve realised today is just how competitive Jungkook is, it’s kinda hot.

“I’d rather watch you lose,” you tell him and he throws the ball, backing away in anticipation he jumps and shouts scoring a perfect strike.

“So, do I get to decide on the placement and size too?” Jungkook doesn’t feel tired at all right now, as he drapes an arm around your shoulder.

“I don’t like you a lot right now” “Does that mean you liked me a lot more before this” “That’s not what I said” you’re a little huffy as you pick up your handbag but Jungkook takes it from your hands immediately.

“That’s what I’m choosing to interpret ___” he teases you a lot more as you walk to the wine bar, you don’t mind it, you like it, you feel the walls coming down.

Jungkook doesn’t want to look at your phone as it lights up with notifications, but he can’t help but sneak a look when he sees a strange notification.

“Why are you on tinder?” he asks more with fascination and you look at him embarrassed.

“I forgot to delete my account” you are a little clumsy picking up your phone but he stops you with a gentle pat on your hand. "You don’t have to” “No but I want to” you open the app to the hottest man’s profile right there.

“Wow he’s hot, I’d swipe right on him” Jungkook says scooting closer beside you.

“I wouldn’t, first his bio says here to make friends and the glasses don’t pass the vibe check,” you say and Jungkook looks at you horrified.

“Explain the glasses and vibe check thing ___” Jungkook says very seriously,

“A lot of serial killers wear these glasses, and I’ve seen a lot of crime documentaries, so it’s a no for me,” you say swiping right and another profile appears.

“Thank god he doesn’t have glasses,” Jungkook says sarcastically taking a big swig from his wine glass.

“Yes, he is actually kinda hot, a picture at the library, a picture with a dog, his hobbies include pottery, same as mine, I’d swipe right,” you say teasing him and Jungkook scowls turning off your phone for you.

“Good thing you don’t need to” you snicker as Jungkook avoids your eyes, red with a tinge of jealousy and wine.

“Dogs are cute but you know what’s cuter?” Jungkook asks you, very clearly a little intoxicated.

“You?” you state dumbfoundedly, not as drunk as Jungkook. “You think I’m cute?” he asks struggling with the seatbelt, you nod helping him with it.

“Puppies are even cuter ___ and I’m picking one up from the shelter next week,” he says flopping his head back and hitting it.

“You’re a clumsy drunk,” you say placing his head on your shoulders. “I’m going to spoil that dog so much, we’re going to go on hikes, I’m going to be a fit dad” Jungkook rambles on, getting comfortable on your shoulder.

“Would you join me and my son for a hike ___?” Jungkook asks lifting his head up, but it immediately flops down.

“As I said on our first date, I’d rather die than go on a hike,” you say and Jungkook whines, very cutely.

“What if I asked cutely, will that change your mind about hikes?” you turn your face a little and realise just how close Jungkook’s lips are to yours.

“Maybe, but in return, I’d want you to help me move” “You’re moving?” Jungkook perks up again, hitting his head much harder again.

“Yes, but I want you to stop moving so that you don’t hurt yourself,” you say and Jungkook snuggles just a bit closer.

“So, when am I meeting your boyfriend?” Hara asks chewing on a slice of pizza. You’d known Hara for over a decade now, she was the closest thing you had to a sister, other than your sister.

“Jungkook’s not my boyfriend, we’ve only been on three dates,” you say picking out mushrooms from your slice of pizza.

“Three dates, how is the sex,” Hara asks in a teasing tone and you swat her arm, feeling a little conscious of all the cameras in your apartment.

“We haven’t had sex yet, we haven’t even kissed” you confess with a small voice, looking at the floor all embarrassed.

“Dating in Korea is very different than in the states, I’ve definitely kissed guys after the first date” you saw chewing on pizza while also packing up some stuff.

“Just kiss him if you want to, you don’t have to overthink it so much” Hara gets right to the point, that’s her style.

“You have so much fancy lingerie” Hara shouts from your closet.

“This is fancy stuff, how much did you spend on this?” she asks looking you dead in the eyes.

“I bought these my first year working, I’d just gotten a massive Christmas bonus and my boyfriend had dumped me, I wanted to buy “something for myself”, I’ve never actually worn them”

“Try 'em for me!” Hara doesn’t let you get in a word till you’re hiding in your bathroom, slipping into a babydoll sleeping set.

“It’s so sexy, sure uncomfortable to sleep in but sexy” Hara says as you peek open the door ever so slightly, making sure none of this is in the camera frame.

“Wear this and you’ll have Jungkook kissing you all over” Hara teases you and you take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror, it had been a while since you’d felt sexy.

It was around 1 am when Jungkook called you, by this time Hara and you had stuffed yourself of pizza and soju, she was already knocked out in your bed.

“Why are you still awake?” Jungkook’s surprised that you picked up his call, you’re knocked out by now.

“Hara came over and we just talked about a lot of stuff and I couldn’t fall asleep” your voice booms in Jungkook’s car as he parks his car.

“Is everything alright?” “Yes, everything is more than fine, are you home?” “No, I’m downstairs” it doesn’t take you too long to spot Jungkook’s car, he always parks at the same place.

“Are cameras rolling in your car?” you whisper to Jungkook as he rolls down the car window.

“Yes” “Are you wearing a mic?” Jungkook finds your questions adorable as he says no. Jungkook gets out of the car and you’re sure none of you is on camera, you forgot about the camera in the backseat.

“Why are you so jumpy today?” Jungkook asks you and you rope your arms around him, coming on tiptoes to come face to face with him.

“I don’t know what the rules of dating are in Korea, and I really don’t want to scare you away because I really like you,” you say truthfully and Jungkook snakes his arms around your waist, you’re stumbling already.

“Rules about what?” he asks and you’re starting to regret bringing this up.

“About what the acceptable pace for a relationship is, about kissing, about sex” Jungkook wasn’t expecting this, it takes him a second to come up with an answer.

“___, um, you don’t have to worry about these rules, you just have to ask me and if we’re on the same page, then, um, we’ll go forward with it,” he says chuckling nervously and you lean even closer.

“Alright, um, cool-” you stop speaking when he pulls you even closer, his face centimetres away from yours. Jungkook feels oddly confident knowing you’re both on the same page, and he doesn’t let him think himself out of kissing you. He picks you up a little as you kiss him intensely, smiling against his lips.

Comments:

Lola:OH MY GOD!!!!!!! THEY KISSED

SaggitariusQween: god, when is it my turn to be happy

Zzzzz: them trash talking to eachother is cute but you know what’s even cuter, THEM KISSING EACHOTHER

Yesto: I don’t know if I want to be Jungkook or ___

Ester: their chemistry is seriously something else

Wallu: here because I saw a clip of the show on Twitter and now I’m HOOKED

Episode 4:

Your morning is not off to the greatest start. First, it was moving day, you hate moving. Second, your dad showed up, bright and early, because a dad can always help with moving, his words not yours. Thirdly, your mom showed up, because she wanted to spend quality time. Fourthly, Jungkook was on his way and wasn’t picking up your calls.

To summarise, your divorced parents do not get along are over at your apartment and, Jungkook’s going to meet them like this for the first time.

The bell rings and you rush to open the door before your mother can, “Good morning!” Jungkook’s a little too cheerful as he pulls you by the waist, ready to plaster a big kiss when you move your head away.

“My parents showed up because why not, they’ve already fought twice about things that went wrong on their wedding day, it’s kinda intense and I want you to-”

“___, are you not going to introduce us to your new friend” your mother surprises you, Jungkook still holding onto you, till he process and drops his arm around you immediately.

“Hello,” Jungkook says politely bowing a complete ninety degrees and your fathers yells in the background about how your mother had packed something wrong. Jungkook was not ready to meet the parents, but he was more unsettled by how anxious you looked.

“Dad, I really don’t think there’s a correct way to stack boxes” you’re trying really hard not to snap at anybody right now.

“Hey, how about you and your mother drive up to the apartment with the small stuff and your father and I’ll ride there with the truck” Jungkook suggest handing you his car keys.

“You don’t need to do that, he will ask you some questions you won’t want to answer” you whisper to him but Jungkook hands you his handbag and a few other stuff. “I’ll be fine”

Jungkook wasn’t fine, he was very close to shitting his pants. Your father is a tall, quiet man, Jungkook wants him to like him so much but at the same time, he’s terrified of him.

“You look young, how does one become a director this early?” your father asks Jungkook who’s sandwiched between the driver and your father.

“Well, I’ve been working in the industry since I was 12, so I had a lot of connections in the industry,” Jungkook says and the driver gasps recognizing him.

“Oh my god, you’re the kid from Memories” the driver lights up with excitement.

“___ works hard, she not going to give up her career for marriage or kids” this question takes Jungkook by surprise.

“We haven’t discussed this, but I’m not expecting her to” “Most men don’t feel confident about ___’s success, are you intimidated by her success” Jungkook’s starting to realise what you didn’t want him to spend one on one time with your father.

“I feel intimidated by ___, not because of her career or success but because she’s confident and I’m not” Jungkook hadn’t really vocalized his feeling about you to anyone yet, it’s insane to think that he’s talking to your father about it.

“Are you confident about ___?” it is too early for Jungkook to know that, it’s barely been a month since your first date. That’s been his issue in the past, not being able to match his partner's pace and keeping them waiting till he figures out his feeling.

“Mom, I need you to stop bothering dad and just let him build this dresser, don’t you have pilates right now” it’s been a long day of mediating between your parents, and you feel guilty for wanting them out of your house.

“And did you don’t need to help me with this stuff, I can do it, Jungkook will help me with it” “___ don’t build furniture with a man, it means that you’ll share it with him someday” your mother interjects and Jungkook quietly listens to it all as he arranges your kitchen.

“What is so wrong with it mom, Jungkook’s a kind guy I don’t mind the thought of sharing furniture with him,” you say with defeat,

“___ he’s famous, famous people are shallow, he’s too handsome, handsome guys cheat,” she says looking straight at your father.

“It’s been fifteen years, when will you get over it” your father sighs putting away his tools.

“You both are very difficult to love” you mutter to yourself, walking out of your room and watching Jungkook diligently wipe your crockery, you don’t deserve him.

“Just go home, today has been a disaster,” you tell Jungkook taking the napkin from his hands.

“So, I was thinking because pizza for dinner, are your parents, going to stay,” Jungkook says scrolling on his phone and you tug on his arm to get his attention.

“Why are you still here? Aren’t you uncomfortable?” you ask and Jungkook cracks a smile before answering you.

“I am ___, it’s way too early to meet parents but I don’t care because I like you,” Jungkook says earnestly and you look at him awed. You were expecting him to ghost you after today,

“You do?” you ask coming between him and the counter. “I do, do you?” Jungkook asks you, very nervous about your answer. “I do like you,” you say looking Jungkook right in the eyes, you feel sure about this. “You do?” Jungkook asks you again, you peck his lips softly before answering him. “I do and so do you” Jungkook has stars in his eyes when you pull back, “I do,” he says kissing you again.

“You guys getting married or something, what’s with the I do’s?” the magical moment is broken by your mother and Jungkook doesn’t push you away this time.

“I haven’t been in front of the camera in a while, I mean I have for the show, but not for photoshoots,” Jungkook says anxiously as they’re setting up for another set of pictures.

Jungkook’s being featured by Forbes for being an entrepreneur thirty under thirty. He didn’t expect his production company to take off, he expected it to be a blip in his career before he gave up and went back to acting.

But one of the films he directed is up for a few oscar awards and he can’t believe it. “Have you been liking filming the show?” the interviewer asks him between shots.

“It’s definitely pushing my comfort zone, but it’s been fun so far,” he says as the stylist sets his hair before the last few shots.

“So, I just texted him asking him his plans and true Jungkook fashion, he hasn’t checked my texts yet,” you tell the cameraman finding Jungkook’s green room.

“Is he bad at replying to texts?” the cameraman asks and you nod furiously.

“It’s because his phone is on silent when he’s on set, he usually calls and gives me individual answers to all my texts” you’re a little giddy talking about him. The cameramen leave the camera’s behind as they’re notified that Jungkook’s arriving soon. You’re all by yourself, thinking and rethinking the last month.

“___?” Jungkook’s a little confused by the dim lights and candles in the room.

“I wanted to surprise you before you left for Japan, you have to leave in four hours right?” you ask standing up and checking your watch.

“Yes, DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?” you shout frightening him a little.

“Yes, I wanted to look presentable for the photo shoot,” he says as you run your fingers through his hair.

“It was presentable before, you looked so romantic” Jungkook can’t help but notice how pouty you are about the hair change.

“Do I not look good anymore?” Jungkook asks taking a look at the spread of food, a lot of it looks homemade.

“You look all hot and sexy but not romantic, it’s like a triangle of what you can achieve with a haircut, it can either be sexy and romantic, romantic and hot, hot and sexy, but not the three of them together” Jungkook loves when you say the most ridiculous things so seriously.

“So, the gist of all that is you think I’m hot and sexy,” he says with a teasing tone, pulling you closer with one swift move.

“The food’s getting cold, you need to eat” you feel nervous and Jungkook looks at you all smugly.

Jungkook and you had been super busy all week, but to make up for it Jungkook had made big plans for the night. It would be your first month since your first date, it would also be the day he officially asks you to be his girlfriend. Instead, he was sitting by himself in the omakase restaurant you really wanted to try out. You pick up Jungkook’s fifth call, you had been knee-deep in documents for the last two weeks.

“Hey, where are you? Are you stuck in traffic?” Jungkook asks walking away from the camera.

“We had plans tonight? I totally forgot” those words leave your mouth and break his heart a little.

“You forgot?” he asks with a small voice, moving even farther away from the camera.

Comments:

Lola: is this their first fight or are they breaking up

SaggitariusQween: ___ is so right about the triangle of haircuts

Zzzzz: do we know if ___’s dad is single

Yesto: This started out so well and ended so bad

Ester: HOW DOES ONE FORGET A DATE WITH JEON JUNGKOOK

Wallu: I can’t believe I have to wait till next week

Dontlook: ___’s mom is an absolute diva and I’m a fan!!!

Episode 5:

“You forgot?” Jungkook asks you as you leave the conference room.

“I’ve been in and out of meetings with my lawyers, I’ve been accused of insider trading” you whisper the last part even tho the office is mostly empty.

“Are you alright? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Did you have dinner?” you’re floored by the fact that Jungkook wants to take care of you even tho you stood him up.

“It’s just been overwhelming and I’m so fucking scared” you’ve been acting tough all day but it all is starting to get to you.

“I am so so sorry for standing you up Jungkook, I promised myself I wouldn’t let my job ruin my relationships but here we are” you close the door to your office and lay on the floor.

“___ this is a problem that’s out of your control, you don’t need to be sorry” Jungkook reassures you going back to the table and picking up his keys and jacket. He keeps you on the phone all the while he’s driving to your office.

You’re sitting on a bench outside your office building, the streets are dark and empty.

“I’m so sorry for today, I can’t believe I forgot” you apologise again as Jungkook walks out of his car.

“Hey- did you get fired?” Jungkook asks referring to the box filled with stuff beside you.

“No, I’m taking a leave of absence for a month while the internal investigation completes” you stand up defeated and put your stuff in his backseat. Not wanting to have this conversation on camera, you pull him, as away as you can.

“I’m so scared” you finally let your guard downs a few tears expecting your eyes immediately.

“What if they find the allegations to be true, what if I end up in jail” you ask and the cameraman zooms into the both of you.

“None of that is going to happen” Jungkook tries to reassure you but nothing is helping you right now. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you can feel the fear seize you.

“You’re the best boyfriend, running to me even when I let you down” the words come out of your mouth without much thinking and you both realise what you just did.

“I mean, we haven’t talked about our labels, but if your first thought after I stand you up is to make sure that I’m okay, you’re an amazing caring guy and you deserve someone better than me, someone, who never forgets-” Jungkook shuts you up with a deep kiss, the amount of feelings he has for you scare him, but he’d rather be hurt than not give you his hundred per cent.

Jungkook and you spend the rest of the weekend off-camera, you’re starting to feel a little better between all the calls with your lawyer and Jungkook doing everything in hopes to make you feel better. You’d been staying at Jungkook’s place this weekend, it was all very pg 13.

“Jungkook parents and my parents, if you’re seeing this, first off don’t and secondly, it was a very g-rated sleepover” you talk to the camera as you make breakfast for the both of you. You were too busy cutting fruit when Jungkook surprises you by snaking his hands around your waist.

“You’re making me breakfast, I have the best girlfriend in the world,” he says with his hoarse voice, snuggling into your neck.

“When did you wake up?” he asks still hugging you as you plate the fruit.

“A few production members were here to set up these cameras, now your parents are probably going to see this,” you say pointing to the cameras.

“Hello mom, I have a great girlfriend don’t I?” Jungkook plays along, helping you get everything to the dining table.

“So, what are your plans for today?” you ask him as he munches on the egg sandwich.

“I have a few work meetings and I have to be done reading a few scripts, what are you up to?” Jungkook asks watching you sip on your coffee.

“Hara is going to take me on a girl's day to help make me feel better, we’ll go window shopping, try on clothes we’re never going to buy and go day drinking” you try and sound a little excited about today, first Monday without work.

“So, I have a crazy plan. I’m going to LA for a week tomorrow for some work commitments, how about you come along?” Jungkook suggests, picking out all the apples from your bowl of fruits, he knows you aren’t a fan of apples.

“Really? I don’t want to bother you during work” you say and he furiously shakes his head.

“The work is a few parties and galas, I’ll have so much more fun with you there”

“I don’t have fancy Hollywood clothes, you should go by yourself” you try and push him away a little, wanting to wallow in your misery for a while.

“Here, I know you are more than capable of buying stuff for yourself but I want to spoil you.” Jungkook hands you his black card like it’s nothing.

“You need something low cut ___, show off those amazing pair of-”

“Can you be a little less crass and give me that dress,” you say opening the changing room curtains and taking the low cut dress from Hara’s hands. There will be four total events you’ll attend with Jungkook, so you need four outfits with two alternates. Hara is great at shopping so you get the outfits done in no time. Next up is heels.

“I just need one comfortable pair of heels that’ll go with all the outfits,” you tell Hara as she sits you down ready to make you try a thousand shoes.

“No, absolutely not, when your boyfriend hands you his credit card to spoil you, three pairs of heels are a minimum” Hara next brings you to a nail salon,

“I never have the time to get my nails done, these look cute” you show off your freshly painted nails as Hara drives you somewhere.

“Where are we going next, my place for wine and sushi?” you ask enthusiastically and Hara nods her head no.

“I didn’t know I needed a haircut,” you tell Hara as you walk into the salon. “Today is not about your needs, it’s about spoiling yourself”

Jungkook and you weren’t expecting any of this press at the airport, you’re clutching onto his arm close as you make your way through.

“Are you alright?” he asks you as the flashes go off very frantically.

“I just wish I had put on some makeup if I knew there was going to be press” you joke as you go through security.

“You look absolutely stunning” Jungkook isn’t big on PDA but he really wants to hold your hand right now. It’s like you can read his mind as you lace your hands together while picking out some snacks.

“Let’s play the balance game” Jungkook suggests picking up the stack of cards production handed you earlier.

“Summer or winter” the both of you answer winter together, “Passenger or driver” Jungkook answers driver while you answer passenger, “That’s good to know,” Jungkook says picking up the next card.

“Plans or surprises” You both have different answers again, he goes for surprises while you go for plans,

“I can plan surprises for you then” you reassure him picking up the next card.

“Words or actions” this one is a thinker but you answer first, “actions because words can be empty sometimes” “I prefer actions too” the options keep getting harder, till you’re both stumped thinking about this one, “Passion or stability” “I don’t think I could choose either, passion is very important for a long term relationship,” Jungkook says and you nod in agreement.

“We need to stay awake if we’re beating this jetlag” you shake Jungkook for the nth time on your drive to the hotel, it’s a bright morning but you’re both still on Seoul time.

“How about just a cat nap before we have to start getting ready for the event,” he says resting his head on your shoulder.

“Nope, we need to set the cycle right and go to sleep today at a reasonable time so that we can enjoy the rest of the trip,” you say and Jungkook groans snuggling closer to you.

“You can be a little annoying when you’re reasonable” Jungkook is very close to falling asleep, he loves the way your hair smells.

“That’s rude” it’s hard for you to be awake too, Jungkook’s a little too warm.

“I just said a little, the rest of the time you’re attractive, very very attractive” he smiles as you snuggle closer, very close to falling asleep.

“Jungkook, wake up! It’s six pm already, WE FELL ASLEEP” you shake Jungkook awake and he sits up in bed all groggy.

“six pm, SIX PM!” he jumps out of the bed checking his phone.

“What time is the car arriving?” you ask taking out a million things from your suitcase.

“In forty minutes, you get ready here, I’ll get ready next door in my manager's room” Jungkook stumbles picking up today's suit and you rush into the restroom for a much-needed shower. Jungkook’s struggling with his tie when you emerge from the restroom, ready in twenty minutes.

“Do I look like an oscar nominated director's girlfriend?” you ask and Jungkook gasps at how beautiful you look.

“You definitely do, I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend. You’re so fucking beautiful” Jungkook has an awestruck look on his face, the same one he had on your first date.

“Let me help you with that,” you say taking the tie from his hands. Jungkook takes out his phone, taking a few pictures and videos.

“You’re very good at this, how many exes did you do this for?” he asks teasing you as you fix his collar.

“None, I went to a private school with uniforms that had actual ties,” you say as he takes a few more pictures.

“I haven’t socialised in a while, I forgot how exhausting it is,” Jungkook says as you feed him some of your chicken.

“You guys are very adorable,” Jimin says from beside you, he’s an actor and you’d been talking his ear off all evening because you don’t know anyone here.

“Aren’t we” Jungkook says pulling your chair closer to his. “I don’t want to be single either, do you have any single friends ___” Jimin says very seriously.

“I have a friend, she’s single but she’d eat you alive” “Hara?” Jungkook asks and you nod furiously sipping on your whiskey.

“I think they’re both the same kinda intense tho?” Jungkook suggests and you disagree, “He’s not her type tho, she likes men who hate themselves for some reason, Jimin is very sure about himself” there you go again saying the most ridiculous thing with all seriousness.

“So what, you’re not Jungkook’s type either, yet he’s sappy about you” Jimin says and you turn around to Jungkook with a quirked eyebrow.

“What is your type then Jeon Jungkook?” “She’s two tables away, she’s quintessential Jungkook type,” Jimin says before Jungkook can shut him up, not to your surprise she’s a tall, beautiful model.

“It was just a fling, I could never emotionally connect with her, but I can with you” he says kissing your cheek.

“I believe you,” you say caressing his thigh.

"So, about your friend Hara, when are you introducing us”

“I’d marry these tacos” Jungkook says growing as he takes another big bite, it was the third event and the both of you escaped early to get some food.

“How do you know about this place?” he asks and you chew quickly,

“After my parents divorced, my dad moved to LA and my mother moved to Seoul, so I’d spend summers here”

“There’s so much I don’t know about you, tell me more” “I went to a boarding school for five years, my sister named her son after our pet fish because she lost a bet to me-” “Woah wait, hold up, what is your nephew’s name?” “Henry” “Why would you name your pet fish Henry?” Jungkook asks rolling up his sleeves.

“I had the biggest crush on this boy in my class, his name was Henry,” you say and Jungkook sighs cutely.

“What was the bet with your sister about?” “It’s too soon for you to know Jungkook, we’re trying to fall in love with eachother and that would just sully my image in your mind” you both laugh as you say that.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” you ask Jungkook as you’re both staring at the ocean.

“I had my first-ever kiss on camera, I’m a little claustrophobic, and other than for editing purposes, I’ve never actually sat down and watched any of the movies I’ve directed” you turn around to look at him,

“Why? They’re masterpieces, I cried for an hour after I got done watching Metropolitan” “Really, an hour? Also masterpieces?” “Yes, the movie so accurately portrayed the loneliness of living in a big city, that scene where she lays on her apartment floor crying by herself as the camera moves away showing an empty apartment, that hit a little close to my heart. I thought I’d never tell you this, but I decided to move closer to my parents because of that movie” a tear escapes Jungkook’s eye and you’re quick to wipe it away.

“You, um, wow, really, my movie touched you like that?” “Yes, and a million others too, you’re great at what you do. Do I need to remind you how gosh darn amazing you are” you try and cheer Jungkook up, poking his cheek.

“My lady, can I have a dance with you?” You both had just gotten back from the last event of the week, a Forbes event. You both had a few too many drinks tonight, maybe that’s why he looks extra charming right now.

“Sure, my lord” you giggle playing along with him. The soft music sets the right tone as you rest your head on his chest. There’s silence in your hotel room as you both sway, you don’t know what love feels like, but your heart feels content and happy like it’s never before. Jungkook twirls you around, only to pull you even closer.

“So, I got us another room next door, one without cameras,” Jungkook says plastering a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

“Really?” you ask pulling away to get a good look at his face.

“Yes, only if you want to” “I want to” you reply a little too enthusiastically. Picking you up bridal style, he kisses you one last time before he walks out of the frame.

Comments:

Lola: Jimin is right, they are adorable

SaggitariusQween: HOW ARE THE BOTH OF THEM SO BEAUTIFUL IN THE MORNING…

Zzzzz: Jimin get in line, we all want to date Hara

Yesto: This is going so well, too well

Ester: why can’t we get the sex on camera too, we’re too involved in this relationship anyway

Wallu: ___ had had such an interesting life

Dontlook: ___ talking about how much Jungkook’s movie affected him, just want he needed to hear

Kth: Can’t believe we just have two episodes to go

Episode 6:

“I can’t believe you convinced me to take a hike,” you say holding bam in your arms.

“It was a barter babe, I helped you move, and in turn, you agreed to go on a hike with me and my son,” Jungkook says cooing at bam, he’s the smallest, cutest, puppy you’ve ever seen.

“Come on, it’s going to be so much fun, we’ll see the sunrise,” he says putting one of his airpod in your ear and blasting cheesy pop music.

“I’ve been updating my Instagram so often since we started dating, you take too many pictures of me,” you say as Jungkook is taking pictures of bam and you.

“Things are good, so good, too good, it’s a little self-sabotaging but I’m starting to worry about why things are so good” you confess to him as you’re climbing down the stairs, maybe hikes aren’t that bad.

“What’s the worse that could happen?” “We could have a major fight” “Then we would fight, talking about it, you can’t expect a relationship where there aren’t disagreements, as long as at the end of the day we still want to be with eachother, we’ll be fine”

Jungkook had the great idea to throw a dinner party for all your friends instead of meeting them at different times.

“What if our friends don’t get along,” you ask him while struggling with a chain.

“So many things you’re worried about in that smart head of yours, what if things work out, have you ever thought about that” Jungkook says taking over with the jewelry.

“You really balance me out Kook,” you say looking at him through the mirror while he too, struggles with the chain.

“This should not be this difficult” he groans as the bell to your apartment rings.

“It must be Hara, she’s a master at this” You’re not wearing a chair for this dinner because Hara showed up one martini in and suddenly the hook was too small. On the plus side, everyone’s laughing, joking and getting along, especially Hara and Jimin.

“Oh my god, you’re handsome,” you say as Jungkook introduces you to his friend Jin.

“Jungkook, lock this one down, she has taste” Jin plays along shaking your hand.

“Okay that’s enough, you’re married and you’re dating me”

“Okay, what did you tell Jimin because he’s been giving me some serious hints,” Hara asks you as you pour yourself another drink in the kitchen.

“I told him that you’d eat him alive,” you say as you watch Jungkook talking to a few of your friends.

“Like sexually-” “No, like emotionally, I’ve seen you with guys and if you do make a move on Jimin, just remember that he’s a dear friend and Jungkook holds grudges,” you say as Namjoon enters the kitchen with an empty glass.

“Alright” Namjoon hasn’t talked to you a lot, Jungkook thinks highly of him and you’re worried he doesn’t like you.

“Can I make you another drink?” you ask and Namjoon nods, still quiet.

“When Jungkook told me about the show I wasn’t very worried because he can be a little spontaneous, but I’m worried now because he’s actually fallen for you,” Namjoon says sipping on his drink.

“I don’t want to scare you or anything but I hope you’re sure about your feelings, I care about him a lot and so do you” he continues speaking but you’re still stuck on his last sentence.

“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?” you ask your mother and she takes a long sip of her coffee.

“You just know when you are in love with him ___, is he constantly on your mind, does he make you feel better about yourself, do you see a future with him and does it feel right” your mother lists and you massage your head, feeling a headache coming.

“I’m just so, I have so many feelings for him and we’re so great together but what if the fairytale ends” this makes your mother frown.

“Is this because of your father and I? We might not be married to eachother but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore” “You love him, still?” “Not on most days, but we spent our youths together, we raised two confident, beautiful daughters. The concept of loving someone is selfless, you give and give until you can’t anymore. Maybe you’ll get hurt in the process, maybe you’ll find the love of your life, you just need to trust the process” she says with a reassuring pat on your hand.

“What if I hurt him, I think I’m more terrified of hurting him than me getting hurt” Namjoon’s words are still ringing in your mind.

“Darling, you might, but you need to stop worrying about what might happen. Focus on what is happening right now instead, you’ve met this incredible guy and you’re both crazy about eachother, focus on that”

“So, ___, thoughts?” Jungkook’s gathered his hyungs at his apartment tonight, it was pretty easy to lure them with the promise of fried chicken and beer.

“She was hyping up your movie all through the dinner, she enjoys a good whiskey and is very charming, and we know for sure that she doesn’t indulge in insider trading, she’s kinda perfect for you,” Yoongi says taking a big swig of his beer.

“Are you sure about her feelings for you?” Namjoon asks the important question everyone has been thinking about.

“Yes,” Jungkook says confidently and Namjoon follows up with a how.

“She suggested we make Wednesday date night a thing, she’s been clear with her feelings and emotions so far, she leans on me for support and lets me do the same, and, um, not to be sappy but each second I spend with her feels meaningful” Namjoon is a little satisfied with Jungkook’s answer.

“Have you guys talked about marriage and kids? It’s really important to be on the same page about this stuff, and no you can’t change eachother mind about this” Jin says sternly, “We haven’t talked about it yet, it’s only been like a month and a half” he says getting a little defensive.

“There’s no rush in bringing it up yet, but wherever you do, talk about it in lengths because it’s important” he takes note of what Jin said.

“Okay, let’s talk about the important stuff, is the sex good?” Jimin asks and multiple people groan at the same time, a few cushions are thrown in his face.

“It’s mindblowing” Jungkook mumbles and Namjoon and Jin stand up disagreeing.

“You are like a little brother to me why would I want to know that” “I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT” Jungkook’s giggling at how outraged the two are and Yoongi’s question only adds fuel to the fire,

“Is the sex good or does it get better every time” “It gets better every time”

“How was your week? Wait what’s different?” you ask as Jungkook walks up to you.

“I’m dressed like you, the sweater, longline jacket, so many accessories, the boots, I’m dressed like you and I kinda like it” Jungkook twirls around for you and it’s shocking how accurate he is.

“Where did you get the boots from? Absolutely love them” “I stole a pair from Jimin hyung, he has too many pairs to notice one missing,” he says walking along with you, his hand draping across your waist.

“So, I just had coffee with my mom and worked out four times this week, what a productive week,” you say sarcastically as you take your seats.

“I don’t love it when you talk about yourself like that, it’s been a tough month for you, cut yourself some slack,” he says massaging your arm.

“Thank you,” you say kissing his cheek, “For what?” Jungkook asks as the lights in the stadium go dimmer.

“For being kind to me when I’m not” the concert crowd reves up with the first song.

“You’re very precious to me, I’m always going to be kind to you” you’re glad how easy it is for Jungkook to vocalize his emotions because you wish it was that easy for you. To just say a million things you feel as you both dance and sing around, you wish you could just vocalize how you feel.

Comments:

Lola: ___ talking to her mother about love, made me call my mother

SaggitariusQween: Namjoon looking out for Jungkook, what a sappy bunch of dudes

Zzzzz: Jimin getting pillows thrown in his face for asking relevant questions

Yesto: Jungkook reassuring ___ is the kind of support I need

Ester: ‘So, ___, thoughts’ was sucha relevant question

Wallu: please I’m hoping to god they end up together, I’ll stop believing in love if they don’t

Dontlook: I don’t know why I’m more curious about Hara and Jimin

Kth: Can’t believe we just have one episode to go

Episode 7:

It was the final week of the show, it was also very close to d-day, and you were freaking out about it.

“I’m just going to focus on work, I have a shit ton of it to get through” you tell Hara as you’re driving her to work.

“So, do you or do you not want to know more about my first date weekend with the guy you set me up with” “correction, I did not do that so when this thing ends in a colossal mess, I don’t want to be blamed for it,” you say sipping on your coffee while stopping at a red light.

“What does a first date weekend even mean?” you ask driving again and Hara snickers a little too gleefully.

“We went on a first date on Friday, ended up at his place and spent the rest of the weekend together,” she says throwing you a wink, telling you exactly what they did the entire weekend.

“At first, I just thought he was hot and had a great ass, but we talked so much. I think he’s the first guy after Eric that I’ve emotionally connected with” Hara says while she’s texting the mentioned guy.

“Eric, your high school boyfriend,” you ask very shocked, “Yes, he might be the one ___” she says with a dreamy look on her face.

“Just take it a little slow, play it safe, we don’t want you getting hurt again” “Life is too short to always play it safe ___”

“I promise you don’t have to go through this, we can just forget about this” Jungkook has been trying to talk you out of the tattoo for a while now, but you’re willing to go through it.

You handed the tattoo artist a cute drawing of the winking emoticon Jungkook made, very similar to Jungkook’s own tattoo.

“It’s kinda silly and cute like you” Jungkook worried, he was worried that the tattoo might hurt, that you might change your mind, that you might regret it. You’re getting it done on your right, upper inner arm, and you’re scared about it hurting too much.

“Just relax and sit back, it’ll be done in a few minutes,” the tattoo artist says and you exhale really loud as the pen touches you for the first time,

Jungkook can feel the pain based on how hard you’re clutching onto his hand.

“So, I’m thinking about changing apartments?” Jungkook says in an effort to distract you.

“Really? your apartment is pretty big already” you say clutching your lip in pain.

“Yes, but I want a house with a backyard for bam” “You’re such a great pet owner, Jesus fucking christ” you don’t get used to the pain, rather it gets worse.

“And I um, want a garden to grow some flowers and vegetables, my dad’s great at gardening stuff and I want to have a hobby in common with him” Jungkook keeps talking and you’re starting to relax just a bit.

“Because I can’t for the life of me learn how to golf, it’s such a boring game” “You’re such an amazing son, I hope our kids learn that from you”

Jungkook ignored the insane thing you said all through the time you get your tattoo done. He doesn’t bring it up as he’s driving to dinner.

“Okay, that was a super insane thing to say this early in a relationship” you finally address the elephant in the room and Jungkook can’t help but giggle at your anxiousness.

“I was taken aback for a second too, but um-” “I was in so much pain that the talking filter in my mind was broken, I am so sorry,” you say as he stops at a red light.

“You don’t need to be sorry, but it’s cute to think that you think of our future, our kids” Jungkook’s trying to make this all easy for you by teasing you but it only mortifies you more.

“Why did I say that, I want the earth to open up and swallow me” you cringe all over and he can’t help but laugh.

“It wasn’t that bad, I was thinking about bringing up the topic of kids and you just dropped it like an atom bomb,” he says and you hit his arm hard.

“Can we cancel dinner, I’ll just take a cab home” you suggest and Jungkook nods a no aggressively.

“On the other side of cringe is a fun evening ___, we’re going to eat sushi and go sing some karaoke”

“I didn’t know we were doing karaoke” “We weren’t but I just added it to today's agenda”

“Holy smokes babe you’re so off-key,” Jungkook says as you very passionately sing a prince song.

“I like it when you call me babe, babe” truth be told, the sake you had with dinner is hitting hard right now.

Case and point, the complete bench is empty but you take a seat on Jungkook’s lap.

“I noticed, the first time I said it your eyes lit up. You tested the waters with Kook too but I like babe better, babe” he says browsing through the music selection, looking for the perfect song.

“I also would like to try honey and sweetheart, those are such classics too,” you say and Jungkook finally selects a song.

“Honey, I’m looking forward to all the new nicknames to come, my sweetheart,” he says as you stand up to get some water.

“That sentence didn’t make sense grammar-wise, but love the sentiment” he surprises you with a quick twirl, you almost stumble but he catches you as he starts singing.

“I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more. Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweetheart of yours” Jungkook sings sweetly and you look at him with the most love-sick look, you’ll never be the same kind of happy you are today.

“I can’t believe it’s been fifty days already, time went by too quickly” Jungkook sighed sitting in the same conference room he sat down for the pre-filming interviews.

“___ and you have been the only couple out of the six couples who stayed with their initial match till the end,” the interviewer tells and Jungkook gasps with surprise.

“We were too perfectly matched already” Jungkook can’t help but brag a little.

“During the early dates with ___, did at any point you feel like changing your partner?” the question makes Jungkook think of the earlier dates.

“I was very fascinated by ___ on our first date, and with the gradual growth that we had I was only more curious to know more about her” Jungkook answers honestly and the interviewer nods with a smile.

“Do you think 50 days is enough time to fall in love with someone?” he giggles before answering this one, “I think I fell for her when we were in LA, she was such a champion for me through the complete trip. If I were to pinpoint the exact moment, it’d be the second she told me how much my movie affected her.” Jungkook can’t stop smiling, he’s a little giddy to see you.

“I think around date number three I realised how much Jungkook’s out of my league, but at the same time, I so badly wanted him to be interested in me” you answer the interviewee's question about any time during the month you felt insecure about the relationship.

“Do you have any regrets at the end of these 50 days?” she asks and you sigh sitting back in your chair.

“I wish I had been more vocal with my compliments and feelings towards him, he always tells me how beautiful I am, how I’m doing better, I wish I had been a little less scared of being forward with him”

“Did you fall in love with Jungkook, if yes, when?” you take a good few minutes to answer this question, “When we went to the concert, that’s when I fell for him. My professional life had been in the gutter, to put it gently, and Jungkook told me I was very precious to him, and there was this sinking feeling in my heart, I knew I was down bad for him” a tear rolled down your cheek as you talk about that.

“Jungkook left you this” it’s a card that tells you where he’s waiting for you.

“It was very easy to guess your favourite place in Seoul Kook, you should have made me work a little harder for it” you spot him sitting on a bench facing the Han river.

“I didn’t want to make you work for it at all, I’m very impatient today,” Jungkook says like he isn’t impatient all the time. Jungkook lifts you a little off the ground when as he hugs you, your laughter feels like music to his ears.

“So, before we talk any further, I have something for you,” you say handing him a very plain envelope.

“You wrote me a letter?” he asks and you nod, letting him read the letter you poured your heart into.

Jungkook,

I am not the best at saying what I’m feeling, so I’ve decided to write them down. This list might seem like a weird way to share how I’m feeling but that’s how my mind works.

1. I love how caring you are, and how at times you put me first even when you don’t need to

2. I love that you cry while reading books, it shows how kind-hearted you are

3. I love how you are patient with me and our relationship, even when it’s frustrating at times

4. I love how passionate you are about your work, it shows how much you care

5. I love how reassuring you are, and how you remind me to be gentle with myself.

6. I love your voice, you could be a singer in another life

7. I love the way you kiss me, I could never get tired of it

And, most importantly, I love you.

Love,

___

PS. if this reads a little too cringy, we will never speak of this letter again, capiche?

Jungkook’s floored as he’s done reading the letter, you wipe a few tears from his face.

“Never thought a list would make me feel like this” he jokes putting away the letter and circling his arms around you.

“Lists can be very inspirational, especially when written by me” you play along avoiding his eyes.

“___, look at me,” he says pulling your face up with a gentle touch on your chin.

“I love you, I love you in a way that frightens and excites me, I love you” Jungkook kisses you passionately at the end of his sentence, he can feel you smiling against his lips and he doesn’t want to stop.

Comments:

Lola: not gonna lie, the list broke me

SaggitariusQween: They’re so in love, I’m so happy for them yet for some reason I want to run into traffic.

Zzzzz: The nicknames are so darn cute

Yesto: I understand ___’s need to want kids with Jungkook asap

Ester: them talking about the moment they fell in love with the biggest smiles, made me a little too happy

Wallu: Hoping this couple lasts long because I couldn’t believe in love if they don’t

Dontlook: Okay, just checked their Instagrams and they’re all over each other’s pages, glad they’re still in love

Kth: Can’t believe there’s not going to be another Jungkook and ___ episode

A year later…

The bed is empty and cold when you wake up, putting on a robe you wince because of the morning light as you walk downstairs. Jungkook’s humming by himself as he flips the omelette, he knows better than to cut up fruit, after last night the both of you need a big, hearty breakfast. His plans to surprise you with breakfast in bed are ruined by you hugging him from behind.

“I hate waking up with you not in bed” you mumble against his bare back and he chuckles turning around to face you.

“I am sorry, but in my defence, you were supposed to be asleep so I could be the perfect boyfriend,” he says kissing you on the lips.

“You are already a perfect boyfriend,” you say kissing him with a smile on your face, the perfect moment is broken up by the toaster going off.

“So, happy first anniversary,” Jungkook says and you look at him all puzzled and confused.

“Our anniversary isn’t for another month, that’s why we planned the Paris trip for next month,” you say and he frowns his eyebrows.

“No, we’re going on the trip next month because of my scheduling issues and a year ago today, we went on our first date” Jungkook has a lot of things prepared for today.

“I thought our anniversary would be the day I accidentally called you my boyfriend and you went along with it” you made sure to mark that date in your calendar, never wanting to forget it.

“How do we decide on this?” “Rock, paper and scissors” you suggest and Jungkook complies immediately. Like always he pulls a paper and you pull scissors,

“How the fuck do you always win? What kind of witchcraft is this?” he groans with outrage.

“So, Our anniversary is next month but I’d still like those gifts. I on the other hand didn’t get you any gifts because like we decided, our anniversary is next month” you snatch the small bag from his hands, it's jewelry for sure.

“What, is this a ring? Are you proposing? How dare you just hand me my engagement ring like it’s a random cup of coffee” you’re the one outraged this time but he just laughs sitting up in his bed.

“First off, you literally stanched the gift from my hands and just open it,” he says and you gently open the velvet box. It’s not a ring, it’s a pendant, a replica of the pendant your grandmother gave you and you lost a few years ago.

“Oh my god, this is the sweetest thing ever, my god you’re sweet. I love you” you say pecking his lips and he’s still fixated on the small bag.

“There’s more to it, look inside” you find a polaroid picture of Jungkook and you from a year ago, behind it reads, ‘Let’s move in together the card and the gift makes you tear up a little.

“I don’t have a gift for you yet Kook, it’s arriving next week and it’s not as sentimental as this one,” you say cuddling closer to you.

“You’re the only gift I need ___, other than the vintage camcorder you’ve already bought me”

“I knew Jimin is too weak to keep a secret” you groan about the ruined surprise.

“Hara’s made him weak, can’t believe they’re pregnant” Jungkook sighs as he’s looking back at the year, it’s been a life-changing year.

“I know we’re too busy to have a kid right now, how about we have very protected sex in our bed” Jungkook suggests pulling you in his lap.

“Our bed” you aw about the fact that you’re both moving in together while Jungkook leaves a trail of sloppy kisses.

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apollosgiftofprophecy · 10 months ago

Note

What made you fall in love with Copollo and how can we angst this with Hypollo?

I had to marinate this in my head for a bit haha

First - What Made Me Love Copollo?

I don't know if I have the words for it, but I shall try! XD

First of all, I do love me some of that simple, satisfying ships that make you smile - ie, Percabeth - but -

But. But.

There's something about those toxic relationships that are so interesting.

And Copollo has an especially interesting dynamic - Commodus is the more toxic one, but Apollo's the one with all the power. Usually it's only one person with both those things but it's split between them (and note: I said Commodus was the more toxic one - Apollo was also toxic. he was enabling Commodus.)

So the dynamic is one reason. But I also just...love their story.

They relate to each other on a level rarely reached. They had a genuine relationship that was more than carnal, or even just affectionate. They loved each other, and I do think Commodus had just as much of an effect on Apollo as Daphne and Hyacinthus did.

I mean come on.

Apollo gets nervous around trees because of Daphne = Apollo doesn't like water because of Commodus.

Apollo describes Hyacinthus as perfect = Apollo has thought of Commodus as perfect.

It's all right there^^^^

And with Apollo, it's like he's caught in this "I can fix him" / "he can make me worse" mindset.

With Commodus, he's been seeking validation his whole life and clings to Apollo's when it's given to him - and his sanity spirals when he looses it.

They're that perfect mix of "match made in heaven" and "match made in hell". They would have worked but they also could not.

It's just. such a tragedy. which FITS because ya know, Greek Tragedy TM ;)

AND OF COURSE THEIR INTERACTIONS ARNUMNUMNUM!!!!!

How they're so very casual with each other in that flashback. Apollo's bouncing grapes off Commodus's nose for crying out loud THEY'RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR-!

And then. In ToA. urhhhhhh it's so good. Commodus is That Ex with a picture of his ex on a dartboard. SERIOUSLY. and he THROWS KNIVES AT IT.

LIKE COME ON HOW MUCH MORE JILTED EX CAN YOU GET?

"dear heart", anybody? DEAR HEART? REMEMBER THAT?! I DO!!! LIVES RENT-FREE IN MY HEAD!!!!!

also the two innuendos in TDP and TTT are so good like come on Rick you know what you did there

and then. their final scene together. it's just. ARGHURHMMRM

Apollo reminisces on how he used to hold Commodus's hands with love. Commodus is so fucking eager to take a shot at him. Apollo screams him to death like omfg and the last thing - the last thing - Commodus hears is Apollo's pent-up heartbreak.

May I emphasize Apollo's pent-up heartbreak. HIS HEARTBREAK OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS YES BUT ALSO HIS LIFETIME. WHICH MEANS COMMODUS IS LITERALLY GIVEN A FACE-FULL OF PROOF THAT APOLLO STILL CARED FOR HIM.

Two people in love, and their love going so wrong when one betrays the other - killing them! - and the other is suddenly hellbent on revenge?

It's all about that lovers to enemies, everybody. Enemies to lovers is good and all but what about loves to enemies.

It's so good armnumnum.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM OKAY I LOVE THESE BISEXUAL BITCHES MJHYJUFGH

inhale

exhale

i'm good now. ahem inspects ask angst it with Hyapollo now, eh?

Let's see here...

Well for one Commodus is 100% jealous of Hyacinthus. Like sorry I'm not moving from this hill I will die on this hill you will have to climb up this hill and drag me off it kicking and crying and screaming and clawing you. I'm not moving. crosses arms and sits down pouting

Meanwhile, in the Hyacinthus department, I think Hya would just...not really care? Or well, he'd care about how Apollo took the whole arc but he wouldn't be like "oh no he moved on :(" about it (Poly Apollo is canon y'all i don't make the rules!). more like "bitch you think I give a shit about you?" at Commodus. "YOU'RE NOT WORTH MY TIME!"

I also find it funny if it's this:

this hasn't really turned out as angst but the comedic potential is too good lmao XD

#the oracle speaks #my memes #copollo #hyapollo #apollo #commodus #hyacinthus #the trials of apollo #toa apollo #toa commodus #pjo apollo #pjo hyacinthus #toa hyacinthus #pjo commodus #trials of apollo

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unhappy-last-resort · 3 months ago

Text

PGR Writing Game!

Pick a prompt and character of your choice and write it! There's no competing or any requirements to join, just write something!

Tag me, or use the #PGR writing game to participate! Time period is Aug 5th - November 1st

Further details and prompts (if you need them) below...

Info:

There is no specific trope or genre that you need to follow.

You can write whatever you want! Fluff, smut, action, horror, romance, whatever inspires you to write!

You can either post your work yourself, or submit a post!

Just make sure you give a pen name of some sort so I can credit you, otherwise I won't post it

Time frame is Aug 5th - November 1st

There is no word limit or requirement.

It can be 100 words, or 100,000. It's whatever you wanna write

You can post your work even if you're late

Struggling to write, or nervous about participating?

It can be hard to post your own work in fandom, maybe you don't feel like your work is "good enough" (there is no such thing, fandoms are community spaces, not corporate ones), or maybe you don't think anyone will like it.

Well, I've been there too! In fact, I think that all the time. Some things that have helped me keep posting my work despite that are...

Writing what you want to read

If you ever thought "I wish there was more X type fanfic", this is your sign! Writing what you want to read means you're passionate about it, and if you're passionate about what you're working on, it shows in your writing and other people will notice it too!

If you don't like what you've written, change it up!

Re-read what you've written and ask yourself "Would I read this?", "Would I enjoy it?", "Why, or why not?"

Identifying what's missing in your story will help you write with better direction. It could be as simple as adding more interesting and unique vocabulary, taking more time to describe scenarios or places to capture whatever vibes or feelings you want, or maybe adding something to the plot point.

Of course, these can be difficult to identify so you could try asking for help through the event tag, asking a friend, or asking me for help

What if people don't like it?

They can suck a dick. Okay, seriously though, most people won't do or say anything and if they do, I will eat them. You go post that lovely piece of art

My work isn't getting as much attention as X persons/Why aren't I getting a lot of notes?

Well, there can be a lot of reasons behind that. First and foremost, tags. Are you using all the tags that you could be? The PGR fandom is pretty niche in and of itself, so chances are that there a lot of people who would love to read some PGR fanfic, but they think the scene is dead and aren't looking for it, or they're only looking in the #pgr, #punishing gray raven, or #punishing: gray raven tags

Secondly, your font. Other fonts like

This

Or this

can be busy on the eyes which can make it both difficult to read and unappealing to look at it. Using the default font at a normal, or smaller size is generally your best bet.

Lastly, why is X person's work getting more attention than mine?

Like how writing is a hobby, so is reading. Some people may not have been interested at the time, or you just have to wait. Writing has the benefit of being pretty timeless, so that means people will come to read your work months or years after it's been posted.

It's also important to remember that PGR isn't a large fandom, so unlike other fan works on Tumblr, notes won't accumulate as quickly

Focus on your enjoyment of what you're making

Remember, fandom is a community space and this is a community event. You should be having fun, first and foremost

Everyone is scared

Everyone from a random blog who just posted their first writing ever, to your favorite author of several years with hundreds of works is scared of posting sometimes. It can be easy to fall into the pitfalls of thinking you're somehow annoying everyone in the fandom by posting a bunch of words, or being scared that a post won't do well. You're not alone in your paranoia, so try to be nice and encourage both yourself and others you see who might be struggling. You've got this!

Prompts:

You can write with any perspective or character(s) you want, I only have the "you" here to help you get immersed in the prompt. You may change the prompts as you like to fit your story telling.

The artificial sun of Babylonia's sky warms your skin. It's lively today, with children playing, couples shopping, and individuals heading for their morning coffee. You were no different, briskly walking towards a cafe you had agreed to meet someone.

You push the cafe door open and a bell chimes above you as you walk into the establishment. The golden rays of sunlight stream through the large, glass windows, cascading down on the patrons inside and giving the cafe a new sense of warmth. The aroma of freshly made coffee fills the air, pastries sit tantalizingly in the display cabinets, and a barista is busy making a drink behind the counter.

Just as you're about to step forward to the counter, the bell chimes behind you and you turn to see a familiar figure.

The Science Council is busy today, well- they're busy everyday, but today feels especially important. Scientists frantically type on their terminals, constructs and officers going in and out. Even Celica stopped by for a moment, hurriedly exchanging words and documents with Asimov before leaving just as fast. You tried asking what was going on, but everyone seemed too busy to talk to you. At that moment, Asimov walks up to you.

The scent of salt and water fills your lungs, sand shifting beneath your feet. You wander along the shoreline, various hopes and worries aimlessly run through your mind, coming and going as quickly as they came to you. You're so lost in thought that you didn't hear the soft crunches of sand coming up behind you.

The stars twinkled above you, cold wind rustling the trees and biting at your skin. You did your best to ignore the cold, after all, it was part of why you could travel without running into too many enemies on the way. Even still, the air held a strange tension, as if even the trees were holding their breaths, waiting for something, or someone.

The lounge felt uniquely quiet. That shouldn't be surprising, it was just you here right now, the other members of your squad were busy with their own duties at the moment. Even so, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of loneliness. Sighing, you stood up and wondered what you should do to occupy yourself. Should you clean and organize equipment? Maybe clean the lounge? Or...do something less productive? Look at old photos and logs, indulge in a private hobby? It has been a while since you found yourself with so much free time.

"Ah, there you are." Vonnegut's voice reverberates throughout the room, he speaks evenly, calmly, but you still feel the tension rise in your shoulders. A heavy gaze of displeasure and expectation weighing down your soul and keeping you from moving an inch.

Vonnegut sits on his throne, hands folded, legs crossed, golden mask and eyes glinting in the limited light.

"You've kept me waiting for quite a while."

You exhaled shakily, nervously readjusting your formal wear for the upteenth time. You could hear the cacophony of chattering voices, and clinking silver wear, occasionally cut through with the chime of a glass knocking against a plate through the other side of the door. You knew the moment you opened it, the sounds would become overwhelming, drowning out all personal thoughts and suffocating you.

Nevertheless, you couldn't linger in this dark, isolated hallway any longer than you already have.

The library was quiet as always, but it was even quieter now that the nighttime hours on Babylonia had begun. It was a perfect place to hide in solitude and wander in your thoughts, or even go through old memories of your life.

It felt eerie. The stained wallpaper, scattered furniture, broken windows with beams of moonlight streaming through. You had received a comms signal in this abandoned mansion, but now that you had stepped foot inside, it was gone. You walked quietly, keeping an eye out for any potential traps as you stepped through the halls. A creak of floorboards sounds above you, a door opens, footsteps...and silence. You froze, should you retreat? Call out? Try sending out a comms signal? Investigate? You chewed your bottom lip and as you're still deciding what to do, you hear another creak.

Right down the hallway.

#PGR writing game #pgr #punishing gray raven imagines #punishing gray raven #writing game

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noraiir-arts · 1 year ago

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Does anyone else have very complicated ways of shipping?? like when i say "i ship them" i don't mean "oh they love each other so much they kiss each other and will be together forever" i ship characters but in a way that's unique to only them and/or only in certain scenarios

Like, for example Zelink- I think pre-calam zelink was one sided, i dislike post-calam zelink, but i sort of like totk zelink (yes i know they are the same two people) but only certain dynamics??? but i also think that its the type of love that goes unsaid, they just look out for and support each other, maybe its not entirely romantic but they are closer than friends. It's the type of closeness you can only get by knowing that no matter what lifetime you are in the other will always be there. I don't think its necessarily the type where they hide behind pillars to make out, or try to stay in a committed relationship, but more of a tired love, one that has been renewed throughout hundreds of lives, each time being something different.

But take skyward sword, i believe that it's easier to see romantic zelink here

or Miphlink - I don't really ship this, but it's a tragic one-sided love story that Mipha knew was doomed from the beginning. The other woman. Was never given enough time to tell Link how she felt, yet even if she had time he might not have returned her feelings. Now he barely remembers her. Maybe 100 years later she's a little embarrassed of herself, of what she wrote in her diary. Maybe it was a simple crush, mistaken for undying love and has dwindled over the past century. But now it's a sad love, the type where she grieves for what used to be, and what never will. But after being saved from Ruta she switches her sights towards the domain. She can see how much her brother has grown and is so proud of him. She knows Link will never remember her fully, but maybe it's for the best. No matter what, she will always be there to heal his wounds.

Tbh i was dragged into Revalink kicking and screaming, but now it's one of my favorites. - Their dynamics work so well, but oh no it's so sad. Started from a one-sided "rivalry" to some sort of friendship. Link never hated Revali, he didn't even dislike him. And Revali just wanted Link to be impressed, to understand why he was chosen for his role as pilot, and he wanted Link to prove himself to Revali (honestly i can go on a on about why revali was harsh to link in botw if anyone wants me to) But over time they both start to realize that they are more similar to each other than any of the other champions. They weren't born into noble families or blessed with magic. Revali learns about the vigorous training Link underwent after pulling the sword, and Link learns that Revali isn't the son of the elder or was an important figure in his village before becoming a champion, but a simple warrior just like Link. Their friendship grows and they become a great team, surprising mostly everyone. Maybe it grows into something more. Maybe neither of them know it. Maybe they just never admit it. Revali knows Link doesn't remember him. He doesn't want him to. He tells Link not to go asking about him to the princess. It's for the best, he will still be there to help Link after all. Maybe it's cruel to keep him from knowing. Well, Revali will be gone soon anyway. Maybe he hopes that Link will at least remember good things about him.

Honestly I love revalink aus, they are my fav!!

I think of Zelimpa (aoc) like a mix of how i described miphlink and revalink but im too tired to explain it rnnnnn

oh also urbosa/zelda's mom but i think that goes unsaid

but anyway these are just a few. Most of the time i can't use words to exactly explain something pictured in my head, (synesthesia is so silly) but i tried my best

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genericpuff · 4 months ago

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welp, i finished the Dawntrial MSQ last night

it was

uh.

i actually enjoyed a lot of the things people were complaining about in the beginning, because while i could understand their criticisms, to me its flaws felt like something it would grow past as it was establishing a new foundation for a new story, which was what was promised to us, and obviously that's gonna require slowing down the pacing and lowering the stakes, which is fine!

but then the second half of the MSQ hit and i just-

on paper it should have been amazing

on paper i should have fucking loved it

but in execution, i stg trying to finish the lvl 98-100 MSQ took years off my life, even tho the majority of them took me a single night to beat, it still felt like it both overstayed its welcome and also did way too little with what it was trying to present us with

i know this is vagueposting because i don't wanna spoil, but man. "divisive" is definitely a word to describe the Dawntrail MSQ with, especially considering how many people were telling me "it gets better in the second half!" and again, I thought the first half of it wasn't as bad as people were saying, so I was HYPED for the second half, and instead I was brutally disappointed by what I got instead u.u

that said, the dungeon and trial gameplay mechanics are great, when the expansion remembers that it is in fact a video game it does it really well, it's just unfortunately not often enough for it to make up for the sloggy pacing of the story

the music is a bop, there are a couple tracks that i was a little eeeh on because they just felt really saccharine in a way that just clashed entirely with the tone of XIV and made me want to throw my headphones in the garbage, but the majority of the soundtrack was otherwise really well done, soken was really channelling his inner david wise here with the donkey kong vibes LOL but there are some somber tracks that are great too, there's a lot of range here in the soundtrack that should be appreciated despite the odd cringe track

youtube

environment design was solid, there were some zones that were questionable in their design because some of them felt pitifully empty despite promising bustling populations (looking at you, Tuliyollal and Solution Nine >:x)

but man , the last zone was brutal and that sucks because again, on paper, the concept SHOULD have been awesome, but ultimately it's still relying on the exact same plot devices in the past (insert lost civilization whose previous inhabitants/rulers are hellbent on keeping it alive even at the expense of current civilizations here) and the gameplay itself deadass forgot it's a game because there isn't a SINGLE instance of necessary combat or gameplay during all of it and so when the final quest (as per tradition, named "Dawntrail") finally pops up, it's like wait what ? that's it?? thankfully the last quest has both a dungeon and trial in it but it feels less like thought out design and more like the game devs remembering they had to actually include some gaming in their video game at the last minute LOL

i think the extra burden of directing FF XVI definitely caught up to Yoshi-P on this one, as well as the budgeting problems that still exist from COVID, and the fact that much of that budget clearly went to overall QOL changes like the graphics engine getting an almost complete rehaul (even in the previous expansions which is. a lot of work. like they want to re-texture ALL of the gear in this game and THAT'S A LOT, literally thousands of items!). where this expansion wins, it wins big, but those wins aren't enough to carry an overall lackluster experience that drags itself out way too fucking long for its own good. the story could have absolutely used a few more rounds in the writing room, if they couldn't afford more voice acted scenes then they should have simply just cut down on the amount of cutscenes, and i think the devs need to seriously ask themselves if the Trust system is worth dragging the Scions back into every adventure even when they have nothing to do (and it shows). like idk, just spitballing here, but the Trust system might be a good chance to re-introduce the GC squadrons, no? maybe go back to the roots a little bit and buff up the stuff that could still have a lot more life if given a chance?

anyways my experience with DT has been about a 6/10 and that score in the end will depend on how the patch quests go over the next couple years, I still prefer it over Stormblood (fr fuck SB lol) but it definitely feels like it's trying too hard to be like EW and ShB while missing what made EW and ShB so good in the first place (or acknowledging why its flaws were forgivable within the context of their respective designs, like yeah EW's pacing was iffy too but it at least had a lot more going on in it to justify it, DT is just grasping at straws by comparison). and in that sense it winds up being a lot more like ARR, where it's just kind of lost in what it's trying to do and creates a worse experience by the end. hopefully like with ARR back in the day the devs will figure out it's time to shake things up and try something new without using the old as a crutch.

#also yeah sorry past me but wuk lamat actually does really suck in the long run #or rather what the writers are doing with her sucks #i don't mind an optimistic character but it's a little much when her optimism is forced in everywhere to the point it becomes self-absorbed #she very much feels like a self-insert black hole sue #she's just there to be the ultimate hero for everyone regardless of whether or not it even makes sense #it's kinda cute in the beginning but it gets old REAL fast esp in the last half of the MSQ when she has no business being everyone's hero #there's just zero nuance or subtlety to her character and the writing throughout the whole story #the story's progression feels like a series of cue cards that say shit like “this is the moral of the story!” and “please cry now :(”#final fantasy xiv #dawntrail spoilers #ff xiv

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philosophiums · 4 months ago

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hi sam!! 1, 2, 6, 8, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 42, 43, 44, 45, 47, 50, 51, 55, 57, 66 (lmhs), 71, 72, 76, 78, 79 😊 i just love picking another writer's brain hehe

KSJDBVJKDFBV MARIAM IM CRYING HELP 😂 *cracks knuckles* okay let's gooooo 💜 (there's gonna be a read more somewhere)

questions from here!

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Truly depends on the length of the wip! For short stuff that I'm confident will be under 10k, I just go in swinging. For longer stuff, I'm daydreaming constantly, even during the writing process. When I had a desk job, I would spend Work Time thinking and then write stuff out in my notes app, but now that I operate a moving vehicle for 7+ hours a day, I just spend the majority of that time Daydreaming, Thinking, and Planning for LMHS.

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

It's about a 60/40 split between original thoughts (as much as anyone can claim to truly have original creative thoughts that are 100% not inspired by anything else) and ideas that are based on or inspired by the premises of other fics or by fanart (sometimes not even from the same fandom).

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

From LMHS, last line of chapter 3: "Sun shining on their backs, sweet snacks in their stomachs, and laughter in the air, the three of them take off together, venturing once again deeper into Changyin’s busy streets."

8. Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Not written out yet so I can't post a snippet, but in LMHS, water is so important to Megumi's character, way beyond just bending.

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

Sometimes! I did outline LMHS, though that was mostly an attempt on my part at keeping track of all the thoughts @hinamie and I were throwing at each other. It's not very detailed at all, just a bullet point list of things like "they travel to [location] - remember that [this character] is with them" or stuff like that. It's a guide for the like... movement™ of the fic, but less so the nitty gritty details, which I kind of enjoy discovering as I go (be it while I'm writing or while Hina and I are talking). But the last long fic I wrote (250k) did not have an outline. I just followed my heart and the vision I had of the end of the fic <3 The back half of that fic did have a canon timeline to follow, though, which made it easier.

14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?

SJKDBJKSDB I do about 95% of my writing in a big leather wingback armchair in my living room, usually with one leg hooked over an arm of the chair. The other 5% is bleary-eyed, 2am in bed, notes app, half-finished sentences with just the worst spelling you've ever seen.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

It used to be between 1am and 3am, back when I was unemployed/working a job I didn't have to properly sleep for. Now, the only time I seem to be able to write is from about 8:30pm to 11pm. It takes me forever to unwind after coming home, so I can really only get myself to focus way at the end of the day. 100% if I went back to a desk job or stumbled into a pile of money that could let me stop working, I'd be right back to typing away well after midnight.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Sit down > open word doc > reread last paragraph > dissociate > walk away > come back three hours later and write SKJDVBDKJBVJKDFBV

18. Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

I don't necessarily enjoy it, mostly because when I'm researching, I tend to get pulled down a rabbit hole of stuff I don't need to know and will never use. However, I do find that I end up doing impromptu "shotgun" research a lot while writing. Literally while writing the first chapter of LMHS, I had to pull up some research on trees just to make absolutely sure I was describing something correctly. It's 100% an inconsequential detail, but at least I know I wasn't pulling it completely out of thin air KSJVDBDKJVB I don't think I could honestly say which fic required the most research. If we include the amount of time I spent on the respective fandom wikis for character/canon details, then Swallow the Stars for sure. But if it's only for Other Stuff™, then I think they're all about equal.

19. Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I love making OCs in general, but not really for fanfic. I'll make an OC for an inconsequential side character no problem (did this a couple times in Swallow the Stars), but, for the most part, I prefer to stick to canon characters. I've never written a fic from the POV of an OC, and I doubt I ever will. I would much rather explore the dynamics between canon characters than insert a new main character into a story that already has one.

22. Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

Depends! I've done all three before SKJDVBDKJVBF Sometimes, a title comes to me right away, and I can sort of circle around it while I'm writing (this is more common for me with short fics). Sometimes, I get a few thousands words in, and have played with the themes long enough to have it just sort of come to me. Other times, I'm fully edited and just staring at the words begging a title to appear so I can post KSJDVBDKJFVBDFV LMHS had a title before I even started writing, because I wanted to have a title when I posted the fic announcement. As far as how I come up with them, I've pulled directly from words in the fic, I've gone on random quote generators and pulled from those, I've sat down and literally just strung words together based on a theme or a single specific word I wanted (LMHS, for instance, came from a desire to use the word "haunt"). It just kinda depends and is different for every fic!

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

The beginning is easiest because it's fun character introductions and scene setting, not a lot of plot yet. The middle is by far the hardest because that's where the plot is beefiest and where a lot of the transition spaces are, and at the same time you're starting to gather up the threads you want to tie off at the end.

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

I choose based on whose thoughts I'm imagining most when I'm first thinking of the story! When I'm new to writing for a fandom, I will sometimes have to start a fic 2 or 3 times to find the voice that comes easiest to me, though. I have a tendency to lean towards the quieter characters, but that's not always true! For example, Andrew Minyard's POV is easier for me to write in, but I have more fun writing Neil, so I tend to gravitate towards Neil for AFTG fics.

25. What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

World building my beloved..... I love coming up with Reasons for things that I want to happen, tying things into the setting and the history and making sure it works for the characters as well. The moment when everything connects is so magical.

26. What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Writing KJDBKJDFBVJKDBFV Words are just.... so hard 😭

28. What area of writing do you want to improve in?

Detailing! Descriptions! I am constantly fighting with myself over how much detail I actually need to include in my descriptions, because on some level, I want to describe it as much as I possibly can so that it can be envisioned easier, but on the flip side I know for a fact that no matter how much I describe something, no one will ever see it exactly the same way I do. And so then I pull back too far, I think, and keep my descriptions bare minimum, which I think is just as unhelpful. I need to work on finding a balance. Maybe metaphor can be my friend here.....

30. How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I usually go through for edits a minimum of two times and a maximum of 4 times. I always do an initial read-through for details that I missed or clarifications I need to make or continuity problems, stuff like that. Then I'll go through for grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, etc. If I end up rewriting a lot during that second edit, I'll go back through yet again just to double-check everything. And, more often than not, I do a last read-through right before I post. Though, inevitably, there's always something that I don't catch until it's already posted KJSBDVKDJBV

42. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I'm really quite keen on Like the Moon Haunts the Sun !! It's longer than what I usually go for with titles, but it's sooooo thematically fitting and just really really pretty imo. But, This Is What Hollows holds a special place in my heart because it's a bit different and yet perfectly fitting for that fic. Plus, it was titled loooong before I came up with a way to include it in the actual writing of the fic, and I felt like an absolute genius when I managed to do that organically.

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I have a world mostly built for a fantasy setting with dragon gods and stuff that I've planned out all the lore for and yet cannot for the life of me actually think up a plot that would be interesting to write SKJVBDJKVB I have characters, I have setting, I have themes, but a plot? Evading me. And it's been haunting me for like 7 years.

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

Urban fantasy 100%!! I love writing magic systems without having to do historical research SKJBDVKJDVB Also just the idea of magic in a place that we live in is so special to me like... there is magic everywhere in the world, but sometimes that magic really does come from a spell book like Yes Please.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

Found family trope my beloved,,,,,,,, don't look too closely at it; it doesn't say anything about me as a person I Promise.

47. Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Not a trope, but when I was younger and Working Through Some Shit, I included a, I guess, circumstance™ that I will not actually say (bc it's like. triggering) in just about every fic I wrote, but I'm past the point now (thank god) of needing to vent through it, so I truly don't think I'll ever include it in anything ever again.

50. How would you describe your writing style?

HHHHHHH I have no idea. I think I am incapable of looking at my writing objectively enough to describe it.

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

Very much so! I love reading prose that is rich in metaphor and simile, but for the life of me I can't write like that. I don't have the gift of constantly being able to turn a phrase so beautifully, but god is it gorgeous to read.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

I don't even want to think about the words and phrases I overuse because I'm sure there's plenty JSKDBVKJDFVB I do have a recurring theme of like... healing, though. This deep inner struggle of the characters to get to a better place is just... so important to me. I want them to heal, but more than that I want them to want to heal.

57. How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

I'm certainly conscious of it, but less so on the first draft. I think foreshadowing has a way of sneaking into my writing naturally (especially because I write chronologically), and then I can really hammer it in during the edit. Symbolism is purely being brought in during the first edit unless it's something so important that it was underlined a lot during the drafting/planning stage.

66. What’s a fun fact about LMHS?

It started as me just randomly thinking about ATLA and sending a question to Hina about what she thought the main trio's bending elements would be, and it just tumbled out of control from there SKJDVBDJKVFB

71. Do you spend more time reading or writing?

Writing, which is... saying something because I really don't spend a lot of time writing on a day-to-day basis. But I haven't read a published book in.... 4 years? And I don't read fanfic very often either, despite my bookmarks tab being overflowing with fics that I would like to read at some point. I just feel like I never have the time or energy to sit down and read.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

I have gotten a similar comment from multiple people that is about my characterization of canon characters within AUs and how it still feels like the canon characters but with realistic changes based on a different setting, and in fic writing I can't think of higher praise. Like... that's exactly what I want. I don't want the characters to be exactly the same as canon because their circumstances have changed, but I still want them to be recognizable. That's always what I'm striving for, and it makes me happy that people notice and think it's executed well enough to comment on.

76. How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Poorly KDEJVBKJDEFVBJKDFVBJF Really though, I struggle managing pressure when I'm writing. And it's always internal, because external pressure on fics just makes me petty since it's Free Labor, and people who complain about a slow upload schedule or whatever just make me Mad. But internal pressure is HHHHHHHHHH I am Going Through It with LMHS. I want it to live up to expectations, but I also want to finish it quickly, but I also want it to be lush and complete, and there's always this voice in my head telling me I'm not writing fast enough or good enough. Mostly I work past it by reminding myself that the time will pass anyway and that it's a miracle that I can even write ~1k words a day with how tired my job makes me. And on the days when that doesn't work, I have loud music KSJDVBDKJVBJDKFV

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

Up to the point where I start posting (for my last long fic, I was >100k in before I uploaded the first chapter), the motivation comes from a simple desire to write that particular story. For me, it can't come from anywhere else. If I don't want to write on a fic anymore and I haven't uploaded yet, I'll just stop. However, once I start posting, comments and general interaction with the fic gives me a huge bump in motivation. Engagement and talking about the story and the characters and the plot just makes me so excited to keep going so that I can drop the next plot twist or cliffhanger and read everyone's reactions. This time, for LMHS, I am very very lucky to have my own personal cheer squad of one (Hina) motivating me daily through memes and character discussion and new pieces of art and other various things <3

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

The best actual constructive writing advice that I can give is: Do Not Edit Something Until You're Done. And yes, I mean the entire story - do not go back and reread/rewrite until you're done with it. Nothing will make your forward momentum disappear faster than going back to edit. If you're too hung up on details and perfection right away, you're never going to get done. You have to just write and accept that things will need to be reworked. Make notes for yourself on things to fix later or whatever, just do not scroll back up and start editing before you're done with something. It will only make you disappointed that where you pick up again isn't going to look as nice as what you just edited.

#this took me all weekend and it's currently well past my bedtime but i wanted to post this!!!!#so i finished all of them KJSDBVKJDBFV #i still can't believe u sent me so many tyyyyyyy <3 #just gonna tag lmhs as well since a bunch of this is in reference to it #lmhs

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mrghostrat · 10 months ago

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Okay I cant -- I need to say it out loud.

I am 100% sure, at this point, you are my favourite artist so far. And I have to honestly thank you for a lot of stuff so let me get to the point before my anxiety takes me back --

I came across you less than a month ago. I don't remember if I saw your art before reading your fictions (Mon Horrible Cherì was my first) or the other way around, but both inspired me so much I can't describe it properly. Art itself is my absolute weak spot. In my past years I always struggled working on that, I was never happy with my results, and mostly had drawn to pay bills than for my own happyness. In the end I hated it at the point that every line I drew was a cut on my hand instead of a moment of joy. And that was horrendous.

But then I came across your art, at some point - and I was amazed. Your style is something I wished to achieve years ago, or very similar to that at least, so I was totally into looking for more, and more, and more. I can't produce art of that quality, but for the first time I wasn't envious of another artist's ability and talent, I was just... Amazed. I felt very happy, can't say why, but your style totally fascinated me. It still do. Anytime you post something new it gives me a shot of serotonine, it makes me feel happy and inspires me to get back on my Huion and draw something too. I started to push it through everyday, and in less than a month I grew a lot. You don't know that, but you pushed me into art with a passion I didn't had since I was 16, and I turned 30 couple months ago. Now it gives me joy everytime I draw. It doesn't matter if the art I produce is no good, or if I change my style everytime (I'm trying a lot of styles right now), the only thing that matter is the way I feel when I sit here and just let my inspiration go. And I feel happy. Happy to draw. Happy to experiment. Happy to share. Somehow I don't feel ashamed of my art anymore, and I was for a long time. I improved so much in these weeks. I watched carefully almost all of your timelapses (I am in love with all of them btw) and followed your tutorials more than once. Your examples, the way you work, is just inspirational for me. I've seen someone was thankful to you for the way you use references and says people out there to do it too: I want to thank you for that too. References was a taboo until last month for me, and I was SO wrong! Those helps so much!

So, well. I am not sure I wrote this all correctly, english is not my native language (I'm italian) and I may have done some mistakes, well, I do not care. I just hope I was able to express you my gratitude for all you did for me - I had to let you know how much this means to me everyday.

Oh also: I love every part of your art, but I could stare at your linearts for days and never get bored by that. And the way you color! Don't make me start on that. I could speak for hours. Not sure you'll want that, believe me.

So, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for making me believe in myself again. Thank you for giving me back my passion. Thank you for reminding me everyday I can draw for myself, for my own happyness. And thank you for making me happy.

You are a great artist.

Thank you! <3

i put off replying to this because i wanted to draw you something, but i just haven't had the energy after work and dont want u to think im ignoring you 😭

but i dont have WORDS. i'm so fucking proud of you. i'm so happy for you. browsing your blog and seeing the sheer amount of art and AUs you're making is so inspiring. your happiness is contagious and i hope you only continue to grow, and continue to foster all that joy for art.

thank you <3

#ask a rat #rat CRIES #everyone pls go look at fei's blog #this kills the bilv

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scotianostra · 9 months ago

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One of Scotland's' most iconic films, Local Hero was released on February 18th 1983.

In the days before mobile phones we used to use things called phone boxes when we were not at home, and the phone box in Local Hero has become as iconic as the film itself.

There aren’t many films that have a 100% Tomatometer , on the movie website Rotten Tomatoes, backed up by an impressive 87% audience score, it should be all you need to know when choosing a movie to watch, expecially if you haven’t seen it before. IMDb also rate it highly with 7.4 out of 10.

Bill Forsyth’s oil-refinery comedy isn’t billed as a weepy. It is, however, a love poem to Scotland, and that’s what brings the lump to my throat.

Quirky, wry, gentle are words most often used for this comedy on the movie database site, IMDb, the starting point for many of my posts about those Scots in the acting profession in my posts. They brief story line on the site does not hint at the emotional turbulence you might soon be experiencing. So maybe it’s just me being a big sissy. Wouldn’t be the first time I lost the plot. All it says is "An American oil company sends a man to Scotland to buy up an entire village where they want to build a refinery. But things don't go as expected." The film is so much more than this and it stands the test of time much better than other Forsyth films like Comfort & Joy and Gregory's Girl, well in my opinion anyway!

Crackpot Texan oil magnate Felix Happer (Burt Lancaster) gets the idea that a small Scottish fishing village would be a marvellous acquisition for his so-rich-it-makes-you-sick company, Knox Oil and Gas, so he sends an executive gopher named MacIntyre (because that sounds Scottish, yeah – played by Peter Riegert) to close the deal and get the pipeline pencilled in.

“Mac” is met by some local “dork” called Oldsen (a young Peter Capaldi), who attempts to steer him through a tartan microculture that includes a lawyer-cum-publican/hotelier (Denis Lawson) who tapdances while standing on a chair shouting “Stella” – the name of his ever-randy wife; there is a super-hard marine biologist played by Jenny Seagrove who, after delivering a short lecture on the North Atlantic drift, ends up helping Oldsen to find that pistol in his pocket; and then there is a scene in which a very whisky-sodden Mac calls Texas from a red phone box on the harbourside, a phone box that has featured in so many peoples snaps when visiting Pennan in Banffshire.

Other bits of business in the film involve a salty Russian seafarer and overflying warplanes. You can see how it got the comedy tag, and I haven’t even mentioned the thing with the rabbit. And you can see how Mac ends up smitten.

This is all top material from a very talented writer/director, with photography and music from Glasgow born Mark Knopfler matches the acting and direction perfectly. But on first viewing I found myself asking halfway through, “What is this film actually about?” After not very much thought, I came to the conclusion that it was not a How Things Never Go According to Plan story, but a love poem to Scotland and the Scots. A bit slushy, but never mind. It’s only a film.

The scene when Mac phones to describe the Northern Lights, to me is very special, but the scene that prompted the lump in my throat at the end of the movie is when, having failed in his mission to secure the Knox refinery deal and mutilate one of Planet Earth’s most beautiful locations, Mac returns to his frigid steel-and-glass Houston apartment. He stands at his kitchen counter wondering what to do next, the hushed march of oil capitalism buzzing gently outside. He pulls from his coat pocket a handful of pebbles and shells, smelling one of them poignantly remembering as he spreads them on the work surface.

As Knopflers music gently plays he goes to his balcony and looks out to the city......the scene fades to black, then reopens 4,500 miles away, where, on the harbour side of a small Scottish fishing village, we see the phone box, perhaps ringing and the credits begin as the horns of Going Home blast out.

Others in the film include Rikki Fulton, Alex Norton, Kenny Ireland, John Gordon Sinclair and of course Burt Lancaster.

#scotland #scottish #history #cinema history #comedy gold #move #classic #Bill Forsth

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hyacinthusmemorial · 1 month ago

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writing the third chapter and honestly I dont know how to make the story interesting, I am writing nonsense.

I think I will answer this publicly because writing advice is universally loved and adored (right?). This is more about motivation than mechanics. It's about telling a story rather than about grammar, POV, verb tense.

The first thing to do is just write. Don't think about plot, don't think about characters, don't think too hard, just write. Sometimes you have to spew out absolute garbage to start writing gold. Start somewhere in the action, then describe the surroundings, then describe the character, why are they there, what about them is making them act this way. A fun tip: write what you want to read. I daydream all the time, I go on walks--long walks--I listen to music, and I just daydream. Usually, what you enjoy imagining, other people will too. Slip tidbits of your life in, they don't need to be blatant, just little pieces of yourself to add humanity to it.

The second thing is to have a goal in your writing. When I start writing a chapter, I always have an "idea" of what I need to accomplish according to an internal map of where my story is going. Then I just write (The first point) until I accomplish it. Another goal I have when writing a chapter is that I usually give myself a word count to accomplish. For me, my word count is 3,000 for a chapter minimum, unless its a prologue or epilogue. This word count encourages me to fill in gaps, describe scenes better, but it also keeps me in-line with pacing of action.

Third thing: re-rewrite it all. When I wrote Anele and Forgotten Age, I erased whole chapters, I trashed it (I kept it in a separate compilation document that is multiple chapters long). I went back to the blank page, I said, I can write this more subtly, I can write this more succinctly. I can write this better. Sometimes, you have absolutely NO IDEA what is going on until the characters have taken you to the end of it all, and you have to go back and write it all again BETTER. And sometimes, you have to write it all again.

And, one last thing: Allow yourself to be mediocre, accept mediocre. I have seen more people stop writing because they feel like they suck than any other reason. Put the shitty words to paper--it is absolutely the greatest thing a human can do. Everything we write is a written record that someone existed. And when I write, well, sometimes, sometimes its absolute garbage, and sometimes its fine, and sometimes I feel like there are spirits touching my fingers to the keyboard. No one is good 100% of the time, and that's okay.

I think you said you were a teen somewhere, I can't remember. When I was a teen, my mom told me I needed to "Hurry up and write my novel, so we can get out of here." She had complete and utter faith that I would write something brilliant one day, and she thought that it would save us both from a pretty shitty situation, but I didn't write anything long or brilliant because I just didn't have it in me yet. I had all these ideas, thoughts, concepts, but there was something missing. My mom ended up dying when I was seventeen, and she was sick for awhile. It's been nearly ten years now, but she shows up in my writing--she's a ghost in the background. Sometimes, we can't write our story until we figure out what's worth keeping alive, and that's okay. You don't need to experience tragedy to be a writer, but living experience is necessary. You don't have to know what it feels like to be stabbed to write about it, but you probably know what it feels like to be betrayed by someone. You may not know what its like to kiss someone, but you know what its like to love someone. Sometimes we can't write until there's life there, and like I said, that is okay.

This is a warning: don't treat novel writing like a career option because quite frankly, its not. I'm in nursing to support myself, but writing is my Netflix. Its free. Its fun. I get to make the show I want, and share it with people free of charge on AO3. Unless you have an incredible entrepreneurial spirit to you, writing for a career will eat your soul and your pocketbook. Unless you plan to be an English teacher, don't get a college degree in english (it is literally useless, Stephen King, Rick Riordan--they all had English degrees because they were teachers). The best thing about English is you can read books, and learn grammar, and write on your own and become proficient at it without a teacher telling you what to do or paying tuition or other fees other than library fees for all those books you didn't return. There are obvious exceptions: you have rich parents who let you live in their house and feed you, you have a strong entrepreneurial spirit and a trust fund, or you already signed a $14 million book deal with Disney Hyperion Books.

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justjasper · 8 months ago

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i love your E rated/smut writing. do you have any tips for writing smut?

most of these are about reality/modern-based sex writing rather than fantasy stuff where all the bets can be off!

there is literally no god word to use for balls/testicles, it's fine

USE CHARACTER NAMES. no "younger/older" woman, "darker/paler" man, just use their names especially during a sex scene

do learn some basic anatomy, please look up where the prostate is, where the g-spot is

but fanfic sex doesn't need to be instructional, you are not teaching people how to have sex. it very much shows when you write like this

fanfic is also not consent 101. it's fine to just let your reader assume they're 100% into what they're doing, and i think "unnegotiated kink" should be reserved for scenarios where the kink is spur of the moment, not just "involves kink but no explicit discussion of it" (unless they're not meant to be, which one assumes would be made clear in tags or descriptions!!)

that said, writing about discussing consent can be really fun, doesn't mean you can never do it. you just have to vibe out whether it's adding to the fic or not

talking really helps break up sex scenes, so write at least one character who's chatty lol

plan out your sex scene so you don't get stuck with what's happening next. remember you can go back to it to flesh it out/work on the pacing. honestly most of my sex scenes start on the page as a list that goes: LICK LICK CIRCLE CHAT SUCK SUCK STROKE LICK SUCK GAG SUCK TALK BIG CUM

speaking of going back to pacing, literally invoking time can help make a sex scene seem longer without saying "they fucked for seven and a half minutes". "a long moment later" "by the time X, the sun had begun to rise/fall", "long into the night"

lube is preferable but optional, even for butt stuff. sex without lube doesn't mean it's painful or dangerous, especially for experienced butt stuff doers.

spit as lube is not a cardinal sin and is miles better than things that are actually dangerous (engine oil? things w sugar like honey? baby dont give your chars a yeast infection)

olive oil is fine but it's messy and it doesn't play w condoms, but fine if you're going historical

speaking of which, from my experience people in established relationships forego condoms way quick. and in general people forget to use them all the time. again, this isn't Safe Sex 101, it's fanfic.

but on the flip side, its sexy/funny when characters have lube and condoms to hand. there is no funnier environmental storytelling than there being a bottle of water based lube in the kitchen cupboard with the peanut butter.

simultanious orgasms are a pain to time and sure they're romantic but there's other fun climax dynamics. maybe one character feels duty/honour bound to always make sure their partner comes first

come/cum? it doesn't matter, just keep it consistant per fic

similar, be consistant with your body part names, even if you use a few. e.g. you use "cunt" in narration, but character A uses "pussy", keep that consistant.

you can still euphamise genitals without it sounding like you're afraid of them - sometimes six instances of "cock" in a row doesn't flow, that's when you should be utilising your "hardness" and "shaft" and "length"

the brain is a sex organ, and all the senses are engaged during sex. you can bulk out yor sex scenes and give great insight into the character experiences by describing what they're experiences with non-touch senses (or the lack of them, e.g. when blindfolds are in the mix)

even in pwp works, you're saying something about the characters who are fucking. you can give context and inferred complexity without plot. are they familiar with each other's bodies? is this new? are they confident, or nervous.

write for you! if you are a person who experiences sexual response to erotic fiction, then a good measure of your own work is if it makes you horny to write/re-read it. there's absolutely no shame about being aroused during the process. there's no harm in taking a wank break.

#writing

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afurtivecake · 5 months ago

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Neil's so funny fr cuz what other character looks at a countdown to their own demise and has the attitude of "I didn't ask for a secretary 🙄" or who isn't fun to torture cuz of his laissez faire attitude to it. nobody doing it like him.

do u have any opinions on neil? or andreil?

yes. because i'm obsessed with those two assholes. next.

sorry, i'm only kidding, of course i will talk about it in detail and at length because i'm incapable of shutting up once you get me going.

wymack (in one of the short stories) says neil is "ragged around the edges and ice all the way through" and i think that describes him perfectly. dude is seriously unhinged and a bit of a sociopath and he doesn't even realize it. he's out there thinking that he has a bit of a temper issue but that's it. and then he'll say things like how he wasn't paying attention to what people were saying cuz he was too busy taking in riko's agonized screams or how he no longer cared what the psychiatrist has to say because he's already served his use in getting andrew clean. and that's all just normal to him. he doesn't really mind using people, he's kind of bloodthirsty, he'll cut people where it hurts (verbally) and he genuinely doesn't feel anything for any of the deaths that happen. none of that is insane or troubling behaviour on its own, but the fact that he doesn't seem to think it's particularly troubling behaviour is what's troubling. when he does care, it's about what other people will think of his reactions. ice all the bloody way through.

sometimes i feel so bad for andrew like, "this??? THIS is what you want???" but alright, to each their own. i love that andrew probably has more natural empathy than neil and that neil probably has more practice at finding empathy and utilizing it than andrew. between them, they might scrounge up enough functional empathy to nearly make up one full normal person. then i remember that i, someone who isn't ever 100% sure i'm showing my empathy correctly and doesn't know what to do when other people react with strong empathy, happen to be friends with a lot of the same sort of people...................so i'd be lying if i said i don't understand why they feel comfortable around each other.

yeah but my main opinion is that i'm pretty happy for them never to say 'i love you' or marry or even acknowledge their relationship openly. they just go home to the same home, do their share of tasks and chores, hang out in each other's company, wait for each other, do things for each other, give each other casual gifts, fuck, wake up next to each other, and if anyone asks them if they're together, they shrug and give the simplest, barest version of the truth: they live together.

personally i find this headcanon nice and reassuring because, if you did not grow up hearing affection and love expressed in words, the words 'i love you' can feel really empty and uncomfortable to receive or use. (a thing i did not realize myself until i had to give a speech at a wedding and choked on using the word 'love'.) to me, it's reassuring that they can just exist together as they are. I don't see it as a sign that they need more healing, necessarily. idk, at some point, how much of your personality is your trauma and how much of it is just you? if you fully heal from everything, would you still be yourself? no bloody clue. but hey, i like that people do head canon them being really soft and gooey and nice. i think it says a lot about who they are as people and i'm glad for that.

#aftg #asked and answered #aftg opinions and why i have them

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aihoshiino · 11 months ago

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hi!! this is a 'lil out of the blue but i've been thinking about chapter 132, and if you're ok with me asking, what's your opinion of ruby and nino's versions of what Ai would say? When I first read Ruby's interpretation, it didn't strike me as unlike Ai per-se, but I've gotta admit, Nino's answer rang true to me in a way Ruby's didn't. But for the life of me, I can't seem to narrow down why (´･ω･`)?

It bothers me, because while the words themselves sound plausible, Nino's interpretation of the feelings behind them is all wrong. I don't remember her exact words, but it was something like, 'she was so far above us that she wouldn't even remember what i said. my words couldn't bother her.' To Nino, its just more evidence that Ai was a perfect idol. but we know that's not true at all? in the first place, Ai had genuine trouble with her memory, even when it came to her most important people, so her forgetting something isn't the same as her like.. asserting dominance or w/e. And I'm certain, especially after chapter 133, that every time Nino said something cruel to Ai it hurt her deeply. If it looked like Ai simply brushed it off, it's because she was putting in a ton of effort to keep her head up. Knowing all that, it makes it so hard to agree with Nino. I do and I don't at the same time?

I feel nervous speculating about it because it's disrespectful to put words in Ai's mouth, but what do you think she would've done in that situation? Me personally, I think it might land somewhere between what Ruby said and what Nino said. Because Ai was constantly trying to connect and love the people around her, I can believe she'd extend kindness towards Nino like Ruby did, but at the same time she was hurting so badly that saying "it's all good" wouldn't communicate her true feelings. Being okay takes time, you can't just flip a switch on it. If anything, I think it'd thrust her into a kind of despair, where she can't communicate the true complexity of her feelings for fear of pushing Nino away, but not giving voice to them makes her feel so acutely like a liar, and the last thing she wants is to respond to Nino's genuine regret with a lie. She's so trapped in it (┬┬﹏┬┬).

sorry this is so long btw!! these characters are so easy to ramble about there's so much to them ^^;

Sorry for the wait on a response to this one! It was such an interesting question I ended up rolling it around in my head all week before I felt fully confident that I could get across how I wanted to respond to it.

What I think it ultimately comes down to for me is that Nino is not wrong in how she says Ai would respond - in fact, I think she's correct in saying that Ai would have responded in the way Nino would've wanted to hear and that she would've chosen the sort of, path of least resistance of pretending she didn't even remember she'd been hurt. This feels the most consistent to me with the invincible, flighty persona Ai puts up when she's not quite feeling 100% and it also lines up with how she describes herself in the Spica novel.

Serious talks weren't her cup of tea, and she detested the weighty atmosphere they brought. [...] So, with the same nonchalance, she declared her departure. Things always went smoother without unnecessary drama.

(source is my in-progress TL of the free preview chapter i promise i'll finish it soon [<- in tears])

Where Nino stalls is in her understanding of Ai's motivations. In her mind, the cruelty she subjected Ai to wasn't even worth remembering— Ai was invincible, untouchable and inhuman so even if her words had stung in the moment, there was no way that she'd even remember being targeted by Nino. It should go without saying that this is not reflective of the real Ai in the least.

This is why Ruby, though I don't think she quite sticks the landing, is the one of the two who actually making calls about Ai in line with who she was as a person. While she doesn't properly understand the depths to which Ai was fighting every day to just be okay with things at that moment in time, she intuits something just as important quite naturally and without even seeming to realize she's doing it— Ai's kindness, her desire to help and reach out to people and her instinctive gestures of warmth and outreach when she sees someone who's in pain. Ruby acts on this kindness with barely a moment's thought and ends up embodying the real Ai's heart so vividly.

This is why Nino reacts with such immediate derision. The real Ai's human heart is something that repulses her— she rejects it any time she catches so much of a glimpse of it. It's natural then that she'd dismiss Ruby's earnest, clumsy and honest portrayal; imperfect, but truthful in the ways that really matter.

In short, I think Nino was right, but for the wrong reasons and in turn, Ruby was wrong, but for the right reasons.

I think Ai genuinely would've forgiven Nino in her own way— to her, her expression of "Oh, did you say that?" and pretending to have forgotten it would have been her way of telling Nino it was all water under the bridge and that she has no hard feelings. We know she wanted so, so badly to be friends with the other girls in B-Komachi and I think having Nino reach out to her would have made her so incredibly happy, happy enough that she would've been tripping over herself to forgive Nino of everything if it meant not losing a chance at forming that connection.

Of course, to Nino, it just would've been more proof of how she viewed Ai and more fuel for her belief of Ai as this untouchable, inhuman idol. The sad reality is that I don't think there was ever a chance for Nino and Ai to connect once things went south. That well had been too thoroughly poisoned.

and that's why they should kiss. thank you for your time.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #ruby hoshino #ai hoshino #onk spoilers #b-komachi #onk nino #WHERE IS THE TOXIC YURI AI/NINO CONTENT PLEEEEEEEASE ONK FANDOM #<- on her hands and knees

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maybevillage · 6 months ago

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what are your thoughts on the stormblood characters. did you like fordola at all

i wanted to organise my thoughts (oxymoron) on the sb chars actually so this is a good opportunity to start. none of my thoughts are positive though bc i think sb's writing is really bad so when i probably start to sound aggro during this while remembering this expansion i'm sorry.... i try not to be mean when criticising things but i have very little respect for stormblood. also this is about to be extremely long like im not kidding but i figure ppl expect that by now? i hope

i can't really talk abt the stormblood chars without mentioning how much this expansion worships whiteness. and thats even after playing heavensward????? with all of the stuffy white (though beloved) elves who love their white elf history??? fantasy rpgs in general ig. and from square enix. idk why i was so shocked by sb... its a fantasy rpg from square enix....that was truly my bad...................

but fordola isn't who bothers me the most anymore at least. while i was playing sb she used to be the worst sb character to me bc i just thought she was silly and hard to take seriously. initially i was just uninterested in her personality solely being a traitorous attack dog for the empire. that's not to say i don't think sellouts are interesting--i actually think characters like that are very interesting, hence why yotsuyu is one of the more interesting chars (but not by much). it's more that i dont think a single stormblood character was doing anything interesting enough for me to really appreciate, or if they were, it went nowhere or was so poorly developed that any new thing i learned about a character felt random. i feel like anything that could have been interesting in sb was squandered constantly. a lot of them had the potential to be interesting, but were instead so bizarrely flat and almost kind of cliche that i genuinely struggle to put it into words how sb managed to achieve this. possibly bc the story was so preoccupied with repeatedly driving home the same uncomplicated ideas about war and oppression (this would require a separate post) that any sort of actual personality was more or less lost? maybe because it didn't really have a foundation it was working from to keep itself focused? i feel like a lot of time would pass with the characters making the same realisations over and over again (we have to defeat zenos...!) and then when it came time for actual developments it had to rush, thus the feeling of being random. of course, unless, the character was from othard, which the game obviously gave more of a fuck about developing as a location.

like i think fordola's really serious and unwavering personality, the fact that she would do literally ANYTHING to accomplish whatever it is she wanted, could be interesting. if there wasn't so little else going on with her. and also that unlike her fellow ala mhigans she's white. i can't stress how ridiculous it was to watch her or lyse be presented as so important/be the more relevant ala mhigans and everyone else is brown and they're just white. but it wasn't only that she was white. there was just nothing else really going on with her whenever you saw her that provided any kind of intrigue or texture to her scenes. nothing about her character ever changed. until they reveal her motivations for joining the imperials (????)

ok anyone can correct me if i'm wrong, but her goal is to free the ala mhigans from the imperials.....?????? like i'm 100% sure that's what she said. but how does upwards mobility in an imperial nation that relishes in using the word "savage" to describe your people seem even remotely like how that's going to happen? i actually could not fathom for a long while that was what she had said. like i fail to find another way to describe this aside from idiotic, and i often try not to consider things in those terms, but i really don't know how else to describe this. like. this is what i mean when i say the backstory for the characters feels so poorly constructed it genuinely feels random. nothing about her behaviour to me suggested she gave a fuck about ala mhigo. it didn't turn out to be some grand farce when she had her skulls or whoever stomping on the brown guy who they collect dues from in the middle of the road the first time she was introduced. so i just have no idea why that's what her goals are or how i'm meant to believe that's what she wants. i have no idea why she would care about ala mhigo except that her father does or something? but that explained so little to me bc it was lazily done and she definitely does not demonstrate any resolve re that memory except for the one time you see it so okay

similarly, nothing suggests to me that she's deluded enough to believe this path she's on will lead to freedom, either. she didn't seem unaware of the cruelty of the imperials. she's actually meant to seem very capable and smart considering she's established her own unit amongst the other garleans and ends up getting the apparently desirable prize of being zenos' little pogchamp but then what???? why does she think that zenos will give her what she wants?? i literally do not understand what her angle is supposed to beeeee

so i considered the angle that what she said is actually not what we're meant to believe and we're actually meant to extract from the story that she's on a revenge quest for her father against the ala mhigans, and the best way to enact that would be to join the side that's oppressing them. except how she's expressed her motives and how the game makes it clear shes carrying on her father's beliefs for a better ala mhigo doesn't really imply that this is out of revenge either? also she'd be doing the exact same thing yotsuyu is doing, which could be possible bc this expansion can't write. but i just don't think that's it. i think if she truly believes that's what will help ala mhigo like her father did i don't care about it being wrong or right and whether she learns that won't work... but then it just seems so silly.......like girl there is literally no way..................... i am stumped trying to think of what this was supposed to mean or what insights her character could possibly be providing aside from the extremely banal "everyone deserves forgiveness" argument stories about colonialism are OBSESSED with trying to make. hmm i wonder why that is, square enix japan? why cant you properly research colonialism? why is media so obsessed with sympathising with colonisers and pretending its even remotely original to keep saying "if we kill this imperialist...we're just as bad as the people who have been systematically oppressing us for decades...." well...!!

im ngl i actually forgot about fordola until u brought her up bc post-sb really seemed to be gearing her up for the aforementioned redemption arc. but then i forgot how much ala mhigo gets pushed aside to put the spotlight back on doma. bc after she helps you fight sri lakshmi (another character who they just had to make white btw despite the vira/qalyana being brown bedlah babe snake women. they worship a white god. whatever i hate my life) she just vanishes. i thought that was maybe the most interesting thing they did with her character even despite my hatred for lazy redemption arcs for colonialists and cheap backstories about dead parents, bc i liked that she wasn't forgiven and that she herself didn't seem to know what was in store for her own life anymore, but stubbornly chose to help everyone fight and was still really driven despite all her L's. and then you just never see her again. as far as i can tell anyways, and i do not want to know actually bc im still in shadowbringers.

in a parallel world where stormblood is well-written i see myself liking fordola a lot. but this is not that world and i can't keep spending my time imagining a world where sb could be good. like... she just lacked a foundation that really made any of her actions make sense to me. was i meant to feel bad her dad got stoned for selling out to garlemald? i'm not being sarcastic i genuinely dont know if thats what the game wanted. i assume it is bc this entire expansion reeks of endless humanisation for white characters, but ive said the writing is so bad as to leave me genuinely confused abt its purpose many times already.

anyways the absolute worst waste of a char to me is zenos. i haven't had such a hard time taking a character seriously in a long time, and asahi gets introduced shortly after so competition was definitely fierce. i think part of it was that he was one of the few chars id seen fanart of b4 i got to him in the game which gave me the impression he was going to be insightful or something, so maybe i had given myself expectations. but ultimately i was left with maybe the most simplistic main villain this game has produced thus far. which is a shame, bc like fordola there's aspects of his char that i found really interesting, only for them to be routinely squandered with each new cutscene. initially i thought his disinterested, calmer demeanour was interesting in comparison to the other imperial chars, like gaius, who had a lot of thoughts about/passion for what he was doing. i like characters who feel a sort of existential boredom...like a real dead inside char who discovers a sort of esoteric way to live or regains meaning thru someone else--i love that trope! wanting to forever be locked in a cycle of violence with wol. sure. why not! i like that sort of thing! i was even willing to ignore the blonde hair and blue eyes (i wasn't) like i've done this before as someone who used to devote a lot of time to dimitri fe3h. this is not new to me.

but the thing is the moment zenos started talking about the thrill of the hunt i felt something in me wither and die. that trope is not interesting! i will never find it interesting!!!!!!!! if you do i'm happy for you but not me. his nihilism could have been interesting if it wasn't manifesting itself thru the subjugation of the fantasy brown people this game invented just to subjugate like...can we be serious. even just the scale of that was so beyond moronic to me. i had such a hard time suspending my disbelief whenever he opened his mouth... that i was supposed to care about this prince who was deathly bored of it all but somehow still gave a fuck about maintaining the occupation and fetishising the struggle? it was so hard to reconcile any of what he said with his actual apparent years of behaviour. like okay, i already know whiteness is synonymous with violence and ppl are unwilling to take that seriously, but seeing that realised in the sheer scale of colonial violence zenos apparently engages in and then for him to turn around and be like grr i'm gripped by such potent ennui and this is really deep. what about this was supposed to be complex or interesting or well-thought out. i genuinely have no clue

what made it even funnier (worse) to me was that before i got to stormblood i was back at home watching my dad play two separate video games where the main villain was a white guy with the exact same motivations: everything else in life now bored them except for this very specific (and not socially constructed at all apparently!) thrill of hunting real people/framing life as some social darwinist thought experiment that definitely has to be true bc look at how many ppl ive killed and conquered? what's left for me in this life now that i'm at the very top of the very real and not invented and not racist social pyramid.........? but it's not just a me thing humans are just like violent and actually love killingand i am very smart <- like how is this not just a blatantly normalised concept in life in general. nothing about zenos having this outlook reads as crazy or interesting to me, it actually just feels monumentally simple. he was just reading from the coloniser textbook. my sis actually told me while we were talking about the game that there's a book called "the most dangerous game" where i'm assuming this trope as it exists in media probably stems from, if not just the like usual racism/unfortunate fascination with imperialism over and over and over and over again. i just...that his thoughts on the consequences of his actions, the sheer amount of conquest he's engaged in, are largely due to some fatalistic boredom that comes from just being way too strong and too powerful and elevated above the savages. like okay dude.

i think if they had just removed that shit (except idk if thats possible the colonialism is so entrenched in this expansion bc ff couldnt conceive a non-white race without oppressing them) then his character would have been a lot better......maybe..? idk all that shit he says to you before he goes shinryu mode about violence or his being self-serving wouldn't have been original but at least it'd have been a lot easier to believe as his ideology without this nonsensical pile of bodies behind it that i literally could not take seriously. his final monologue was hard to sit through bc it all felt so random. my sis also pointed out that he doesn't feel relevant to the story, especially ala mhigo's story, at all, and i genuinely agree. i feel like they must have had a lot of ideas for him separately and then shoved him into this expansion because they needed a strong villain or something to keep their already thin plot running. with other villains you can see where they get their ideas from or why they're doing what they do and how their actions might progress the story. gaius for eg is a char i find really interesting bc i thought his opinions on primals in arr which is about primals was really interesting, and his conceptions of an ideal empire as well. like he actually has a leg to stand on and compelling things to say. nidhogg is also a good enemy to me, and i dont care so much for thordan but i still think he had interestingly selfish motivations and contributed ideas to the story. maybe that's because hvw didn't wallow so much in a simplistic good vs. evil like stormblood did...like hvw isnt just war its revising centuries of propagandized history and learning to change your own beliefs and going thru a lot of interesting discomfort (to put it mildly). stormblood i thought tried to be complicated at times when for eg meffrid (one of the only chars i liked in sb btw) would occasionally argue with lyse on what's "right" for occupied ppl to be doing during their occupation, like how a lot of ala mhigans wanted to keep their head down. you can see where that idea gets used throughout sb like in namia, but it never actually gets complicated into something worth thinking about bc again the chars are constantly reachign the same realisations over and over by the end (we have to kill zenos...! ANDTHEN THEY DONT EVEN FUCKIGN KILLGHI). like the ideas don't go anywhere, which might be for the best bc in my perfect world this game would not be writing about any of this. and now meffrid is dead bc ff doesn't give af about the ala mhigans or developing their thoughts/beliefs beyond the occasional potentially interesting idea on the map dialogue. atp i just feel blessed zenos doesn't have a backstory so that his personality isn't the result of some lazily done traumatic event. well i say that but the game couldn't even keep him dead so fuck my life. who knows what's in store for me. plz dont tell me.

all the thoughts i have are negative i'm so sorry but the chars i actually liked like gosetsu just get ruined by the time post-sb gets its evil evil hands on them so this expansion is genuinely just dead to me. i used to like gosetsu a lot, and i thought the shame he carried with him for abandoning hien a long time ago was a fun addition to his character. one of my favourite tropes is when a character just wants to die...like they feel like they've emotionally exhausted themselves and don't know what to do with the end of their life. i find that kind of thing really poignant. and i'm pretty satisfied w how they wrapped up his arc, actually, with him deciding to go on a sort of pilgrimage. it was just how they got there i absolutely hated.

it just keeps going back to an inability to write. for eg, if what they wanted was to complicate gosetsu's character by demonstrating how someone extremely self-sacrificial and devoted to his country's cause could actually really want to indulge in something, they choose to do it by having him play an uncomfortable game of house with someone who's murdered an innumerable amount of their country's people. but its okay bc instead of giving that idea any meaningful thought, here's a throwaway line about how he had a granddaughter so it makes sense he's doing this, also we're going to age regress the coloniser so its okay she's basically a child now which isn't a total slap in the face for everyone involved including the player, and then we're going to play these scenes for laughs and everyone is totally fine with it and it's not lazy writing at all.

asahi too i thought was an example of just poor writing, bc why is a single almost zero-context scene of zenos saving him supposed to do anything to explain his behaviour. does that not just seem lazy? he doesn't like zenos for any other reason...? we don't see asahi's thoughts on zenos except for this one cut scene where the chars could be replaced with how meaningless it is and then from then on his suddenly passionate behaviour is just supposed to be engaging...? i personally thought he was a lot more interesting when he seemed to genuinely believe in the bullshit he was saying about the empire being gracious and forgiving and rubbing his hands obsequiously at wol and being overly flattering and just a sort of greasy spoiled bastard. but then of course this totally obvious reveal happens and he's just some "crazy" guy who just wants to be his coloniser's lapdog bc he's sooooooo strong. fascinating. post-sb felt like a bad tv drama. its like the ideas in somewhat isolation are alright but they just stopped caring

tbf to asahi i did like his moments with yotsuyu. if they weren't so steeped in like....the weirdest plot points ever (random-ass yandere behaviour and yotsuyu behaving like a child) i would have been a lot more invested in the punishment they enacted on their parents for grooming one to be an imperial officer and the other being sold off. yotsuyu's backstory is still kind of typical but i thought she was like. interesting enough. she was ok. i could believe in/enjoy their callousness a lot more readily than a certain other character ive already said too much about. i think their truly awful sibling relationship had potential. dare i repeat myself about what happens to potential in this expansion

i wish i had more to say about hien and yugiri and lyse but they kind of just...idk. they just feel kind of shallow......... i don't think they really get developed much, i mean i definitely have things to say but there's just nothing really there that inspires me to do so and this post is already way too long. maybe when i finally write like an essay on how mjuch i dont respect stormblood. i like yugiri though. her hometown is very cool but she just gets relegated to "dutiful ninja" that they use when something needs to be done that wol isnt going to do, and they don't go into much detail about what really pushed her to leave or how exactly she felt, they just kind of have her parents tell you thats what she did. i liked the part though where she was like WE NEED TO KILL ZENOS RN bc it suddenly seemed out of character almost but then well where did that go...ok. hien just feels genuinely evil to me like his vibes are so off and i could not tell you why but he's kind of just there to move the plot forward so i really don't have much to say about him. and talking about lyse would just make this post even longer and more hateful. i used to really like her too.

time for something positive...? i really liked the azim steppe when it wasn't being so randomly misogynistic. that was where i was most interested in what was going on bc it had less to do with the war, but then you bring the war to them so...*screaming*. like it's a shame to me that the xaela are still framed by a focus on war, but the dotharl's concept of rebirth and the other practices the different groups had were maybe the most interesting things to me in the entire expansion. also how gosetsu had that moment with one of the dotharl warriors who died without it being some weirdly ignorant clash of beliefs. i liked that part a lot. sadu and magnai and cirina arent developed enough for me to have much of worth to say about them rn bc like yugiri and hien they kind of just become channels for the story, but at least they have a lot of personality and there's a lot to work with. also its 2am. i'm hoping to have more ideas re the xaela when i get around to doing the sidequests in that area, which i think will help me round out their characters more. i called cirina having a thing for hien from like a mile away btw bc this game is so unserious. anyways i think there should be like a spin-off about sadu magnai and cirina and if it doesn't come to exist soon i will grow like ten extra hands and make it myself

#ffxiv spoilers #stormblood spoilers #post-stormblood spoilers #seriously like actual spoilers #asks #anonymous #maybe my longest reply to an ask yet #goodnight #spoilers

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