#hyperfocusing to avoid bad situations

[furiousgoldfish]

I just realized that I'm hyper-focused on the moods, behaviours and point of view of any person that exists near me, for as long as they're physically close. For me to be able to focus on myself at all, I have to be alone. Any other presence means my entire world shrinks into figuring out what this person is thinking, feeling and what they might do. And I can't control it, I can't relax if there's anybody else in the room.

[warcoaxed]

On Wearing Your Heart On Your Sleeve

Or: the disjointed post where I diagnose Q!Forever with BPD-like tendencies in regards to Q!Philza.

Anything from this point forward is about the characters only.

continue reading under the cut!

1. On Brunim's entire existence.

One of the first real moments we got with Forever were his interactions with Philza and how he quite instantly got attached to him. While quite comedic at first, this later spirals into straight up obsession.

The basis of this obsession is Brunim Neets, or Forever's ex-husband who's very much not on the QSMP & bears a striking resemblance to our Philza.

It's quite easy to see that Forever is rather attached to Brunim, to the extent that he occasionally believes Philza is Brunim who simply lost his memories.

This leads to the conclusion that Brunim is quite literally Forever's FP ( Favourite Person. )

[ For the uninitiated, an FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes. ]

Philza, who Forever uses as a replacement for Brunim, turns into one of Forever's main motives to do things, to gain his attention and love. This also makes Philza one of Forever's FPs, albeit an unhealthier one.

2. On Festa Junina & Forever's relationships.

Festa Junina was another turning point, where Forever entered a relationship that was just to make Philza jealous. Forever has a tendency to impulsively enter relationships and exit them just as fast.

Forever as a character is often categorized as airheaded, but that's very much not true. His emotions are very much a double edged sword, and can act as a source for his strength but also make his interpersonal relationships fall apart.

His stilting of Maximus' feelings is a result of this, where he gets so hyperfocused on Philza, he somewhat ends up using Maximus.

He has a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This can be said to be true in regards to both Philza and Brunim.

3. On the fear of abandonment & The Wedding (?)

Forever misses Brunim & there is no denying it. It's evident in how much Brunim is mentioned by him, to the extent that even Richarlyson pokes fun at it.

It's quite fair to assume that he feels a little abandoned by Brunim, with them being ex-lovers and Brunim very much not being around on the SMP.

And when you bring Philza to the equation? The Philza who very much wants to leave, the Philza who very visibly doesn't want this?

In comes the Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

The wedding canonically happens while Philza is either tripping on drugs, or simply in his head (have your pick,) where Forever builds a shrine around them, declares them married and then proceeds to try to (badly) gaslight Philza into believing that they got married in Vegas.

His attempts at gaslighting are laughably pitiful, but they're incredibly desperate and frantic. It's almost like he thinks that if he can convince Philza that they're married, he wouldn't leave.

4. On Splitting and the Proposal.

Splitting refers to the difficulty to accurately assess another individual or situation. It can lead to intensely polarizing views of others, for instance, as either very good or very bad. A person typically splits unconsciously or without realizing it. Rather than seeing people in their lives as complex human beings with good, bad, and in-between characteristics, they may apply intensely polarizing or exaggerated labels. To them, their partner may be the “worst partner in the world” one day and the “greatest partner ever” the next.

The real turning point in Forever & Philza's relationship is the proposal following Cellbit & Roier's wedding. Their dynamic between then could easily be described as teasing, but this when things got very real very quick.

Forever asked for Philza's hand in marriage and got rejected ( very harshly at that- Thanks, Phil .)

This lead to a rather drastic reaction from Forever, where he ran to practically throw himself off a cliff, only for Philza to chase him down and stop him. What follows is a rather interesting conversation where we can watch Forever's high-held opinion of Philza practically plummet, where he later proclaims that he never even loved Philza, and how much he wants Philza to explode ( his words, not mine. )

It's almost like a switch has been flipped, with how he goes from happy to very upset, to determined to be president out of spite.

Not as obvious as others, but this can point to a persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

There's probably more I could speak about this, but this is all I can say from the top of my head. Feel free to add things, I enjoy spitballing all kinds of things!

[starfruitgirlie]

guide for highschool to not suck

HEY GAMERS! I catch myself a lot looking at people younger than be and being annoyed or thinking "wow I know so much more than you" but when I was the age they were at I desperately wanted to be older and I wanted to know what I was doing and I sucked at life. Im 17 so I can only give life advice up to that point. I was absolute garbo at age 13-15. I was cringe, fowl, thought I knew everything, was experimenting with my identity and style, had acne, had access to the internet when I probably shouldn't have, the works. Instead of looking down on a reflection of myself I want to give advice on how to make things a bit better. Unfortunately, you can't avoid being cringe. However I was mentally ill and had adhd, and there are things you can do to make those things less sucky. (disclaimer I am not a professional and you should always reach out to a trusted adult or a therapist for help and not the internet!)

So highschool sucks it's awful it's absolute doodoo. I changed school districts so I went into my freshman year not knowing ANYBODY. I was also a cringe gender non-conforming queer kid with a bad haircut and bad fashion sense so I know what it's like to be picked on. so this is for anybody already in highschool or going into it or just wants to know what to prepare for.

I can't sugarcoat it highschool is so bad. It's not all bad, you can have nice experiences but ultimately it sucks because when your entire social atmosphere is insecure teenagers everything sucks. I just completed my junior year and I feel like I have made a lot of realizations just in that year alone. I'm not a senior yet so I'm just dipping my toe into college prep stuff so I am no where qualified for that so if that's what you want go somewhere else and if you get good advice tell me I need it. so this is starfruit's guide on how to NOT SUCK HIGHSCHOOL! (from someone with no friends and is lazy)

no one is looking at you as much as you think they are. I don't mean this as a "you're full of yourself" statement, it's an anxiety thing I still deal with. Embarrassing incidents are going to happen unfortunately. You forget deodorant, you have your period, you trip in the hallway, your pants rip, all the sucky stuff. There are going to be some assholes who laugh and make you feel bad but most people are going to understand. everyone knows what it is like to feel embarrassed and it won't be a disney-channel bully type scene if you mess up. even though social media doesn't show it, people make embarrassing mistakes and have accidents. It took some time, but I had to learn to laugh at myself and not take myself as as seriously. I don't spend my whole day hyperfocusing on other people or going out of my way to laugh at someone. It can be tough especially if you're as shy as I am but there will always be kind people who will offer help in situations like that. As you grow things will be less embarrassing. i am not at the point where that feeling is completely gone but I yearn for the day.

I was in my first AP class this year and at first I was super super self-conscious. I am a good student, but the people in that class made me feel stupid sometimes. They all took like 6 ap classes when that was my first one. reality check!! it doesn't matter. your future employer isn't going to go "So did you take 6 ap classes at once and get 5s on all of them?". highschool doesn't matter as much as you feel like it does. don't get me wrong, still try but be kinder to yourself. Don't compare your grades to somebody else's. A big part of this too is not asking people for what they got on a test even if you think they got lower. It's not done out of malicious intent, but I know for a fact a lot of good students ask other people for their scores to feel better about their own when someone answers a lower grade. When people ask I say "I don't tell people my grades, it's just a personal thing I guess" and people will move on. A big thing for juniors is the ACT. the day those scores came out it was awful. I had to delete instagram for a week when someone I knew posted their super-good score just to brag. everyone was asking what I got and everyone was comparing scores. "Oh I got a 34" and when somebody said "28" I heard "that's not that bad!". that is a phrase I hate. "it's not that bad!" SHUT UP!!! You can avoid this by not telling anyone your scores. the only people who know my act score are me, my therapist, and my parents. and I intend to keep it that way forever. I'm grateful that a lot of aspects of school come easy to me but this is applicable for students at any level. my grades don't make me any better of a person. What is important is to try your best and only compare yourself to yourself. if a C is your best effort, that's good! You tried and you put in hard work. school is not a true judgment of how smart you are what matters is you are trying and learning.

don't be on snapchat. my school used it for a long time to spread nudes and take pictures of alt people and make fun of them. and to also send threats. "what's yo snap" is not flirting. it makes me want to hit you with a metal bar. I can't really explain all that much but I just hate snap chat and I will never use it.

don't spread information you aren't sure is true. big and small highschools both can start rumors that get out of control. a kid who I never knew was talked about so much and the rumors kept spiraling I have no idea what is or isn't true. it's also just not that fun to talk about?? I mean there is a certain enjoyment in gossip but if you're just making fun of someone behind their back it's not cool and even if you're laughing in the moment that's not healthy behavior. and if your friends shun you for not wanting to do that and being uptight, get new friends.

ask questions. if you are confused in class, ask. even if it's a dumb question. I admit I have thought before "are you dumb" when someone asked a question but at the end of the day I'm just a hater and that person benefitted from hearing an answer and learned. if you can, email your teachers and go in during your study halls or lunch hour for individual help. I never would have passed ap calc without all the days I spent in my teacher's classroom during my lunch period.

set boundaries with your friends. you can still show your friend you want to talk to them and value their friendship and express you want to listen in class. also you're just annoying if you talk the whole time. that's the hater in me coming out I'm sorry.

stop following made-up social media teen rules you hate. that makes me sound old when I say that but I can't describe it any other way. an example of this is instead of asking for someone's snap, just say "hi I really like you do you want to go on a date and can I get your phone number?". have real human interactions. Just because Brady Smith and his friends always sit at that table at lunch doesn't mean you can't sit there if you get there first. just because it's "cringe" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Be polite. shake someone's hand instead of dapping them up or whatever the hell. high five unironically. read a book in class instead of being on your phone. it doesn't mean you're trying to be quirky. it just means you want to read a book and people who make fun of you for reading probably should be the ones reading.

which leads me to: read more books. doesn't have to be something profound like a classic. it can be shitty YA vampire love triangle. it can be the series you loved in middle school about dragons. it can be something super long and profound. it can be non-fiction, it can be manga, it can be whatever!!!!! just read!!! just because someone to your left is reading jane austen doesn't mean you can't read warrior cats.

this might be more of an american thing but participate in dress-up days. this helped me overcome a lot of my social anxiety. even if no one else is doing it, I am going to dress like a cowboy because god damn it, it is dress like a cowboy day. i guarantee nobody cares. There's this kid at my school that regularly shows up in different costumes and I think its awesome and I also don't care. It could be some random tuesday and I could see Goku in the hallway and go "That's weird" and go about my day. Dress like Goku. End up on the school snapchat story with popular kids putting comments over it with a skull emoji. be free. The same kid also dressed up accordingly for holidays. Kids like that make you smile and you remember them fondly. my sister had a classmate who brought a toy thor's hammer to school everyday. i guarantee people made fun of him but thats awesome dude. nobody cares and if they do they need to get their priorities checked.

do your work in class so you don't have to do it at home. it saves time and you have more time to be lazy. if you have to work at home make sure to keep a planner. It's not cringe you're just being responsible. write it down or it will be gone from your brain in an instant and it will be 3 am and you will be writing a last minute research paper and not remember how to do citations.

make accommodations for yourself at school. for me this looks like dressing comfortably even tho I want to be stylish. It's also always bringing my headphones to school to have music on so I can focus. There's no reason to make school hard for yourself, bring things you might need, you don't need to raw dawg the day.

if you can, utilize time before school and after school to get help. I know so many people are busy so this might be tough but most schools will have resources like saturday school or they open early and have teachers who come in to tutor. at the end of the day though, prioritize you over your grades. You should still try but if you need the day to play video games and sleep, play video games and sleep.

to sum it up: stop comparing yourself to other people, compare yourself to you. only you know what you've been through and your level of growth. it's easier to be a happy teen when you arent worried what other people think. I hope this was useful!!!! thank you for reading if anyone made it this far.

[ccaptain]

Bit of a vent moment that melts in me eventually gushing the friends I made over here and that I have:

The short tl;dr is that in these months I fell prey to the old habit of my mental illness, hyperfocused on a situation that made me feel small and uninteresting, and the willingness to be interesting got so bad that I developed essentially a tunnel vision in mass-producing headcanons for my H:SR Kaeya in a way that sucked the fun out of everything I did and essentially gutted the characterization that I liked so much. There are no villains in this except my own mental illness, which sucks big time, and has made me sink back into the ''I'm overbearing and I'll stop messaging them after tot messages'' mentality. It sucks, I was doing well, all that sad jazz.

I want to remark this: avoid making part of your characterization palatable for specific people- unless their interest for this has been VERY active and they have specifically told you that they are interested in these parts and in joining you, multiple times. If you catch yourself doing that with a lack of matching energy, backpedal as fast as possible. Make them into something you're more comfortable with. Like when your play-doh creation sucks so you squish it and remake it into something you know better.

Addictionally, an important bit: stop making excuses for people's lack of interest. Your comfort and importance shouldn't be based in who or who doesn't pay attention to what you do. Sometimes it's not malicious, sometimes it is. Put some distance between yourself and what makes you feel that way, and whoever is interested will reach out when they can and if they want to. If not, keep going without them if necessary. It will feel like it's the end of the world, and then it won't. You'll be fine.

Thankfully the people I talk most to on Discord have been made aware of the situation and reality checked me in the facehelped me deal with it in an healthy way, and essentially dragged me in the ''none of that. give me your H:SR Kaeya to rp/ship with'' kind of good hell, with an almost unhealthy amount of interest towards eachother at any given times. I have become comfortable again into leaving headcanons in their DMs again like a little mouse dropping cheese crumbs, and in sending more than two messages before the anxiety of being overbearing gets to me. This means a LOT as it probably feels natural to engage with since it's the essence of how people interact with eachother, but it means a lot to me. If possible I would sit on your nightstand like a little grateful squish-to-activate light.

Also a special shoutout to @predvestnik which I have bullied into making an H:SR AU for their Childe so we could have Chaeya in this verse too, and that I am currently bullying into ArgentiHill hell. C:

[fleshing-out-fodlan]

I’ve noticed some interesting things in how Ingrid talks about her father that indicate the type of relationship they have.

First is in her paralogue where she almost ends up married to a not so nice man. She says that her father was concerned that it would “bode poorly for [their] family,” notice no mention of Ingrid’s well being specifically. Ingrid would be the one married to this man so her wellbeing would be significantly more threatened than that of anyone else in her family. Sure, it’s possible he said something about her and Ingrid just didn’t mention that but I don’t see why she wouldn’t say “he was worried for my safety and the wellbeing of our family” or something like that if that was the case. It does make me wonder how concerned he is with Ingrid’s wellbeing or if he’s just hyperfocused on their territory and family’s reputation. One of the most common points used to support her father is how he would starve himself so Ingrid could eat. Which kudos to him for that but at the same time that’s not really enough to be considered a good parent if you drop the ball with everything else, especially if you believe the fan theory about him feeding her because a malnourished girl/woman would be ‘less attractive’ and therefore he’d get less money for her.

The second thing that drew my attention was in the Ingrid Byleth C support.

Ingrid’s pause here is very important and indicates that she has to think carefully about her words. She makes a very conscious decision here to call him a good person as opposed to a good father like Byleth said. If Ingrid and her father genuinely have a good relationship why did she need to think about it? Why did she avoid complimenting his on his quality as a parent? Then in their B support there’s something even more interesting. (Byleth has two dialogue options, Ingrid responds to both in the same way)

Ingrid thanks you for calling her father’s actions “awful” and there’s hardly any defense of his actions following it, the most she does is say that he doesn’t not care about her. If he was genuinely a good dad I imagine she would try to defend him in some way. And this isn’t a conversation with a childhood friend who understands the nuance of her family situation and is aware of the good and the bad, this is the first Byleth really hears about her dad and I’m sure Ingrid has enough awareness to realize Byleth is likely forming a negative view on her father. But still, she goes along with it. Furthermore, the comment about Byleth’s statement being ‘a great comfort’ to her indicates that Ingrid doesn’t normally have her feelings validated. It’s no secret that her childhood friend group is dysfunctional and I can see Ingrid feeling like her situation is the ‘least bad.’ Because of this, she likely didn’t receive much comfort from them as children so even just a simple statement from Byleth feels like a lot to her.

Next, I want to look at how she responds to Mercedes’ very similar struggle.

Kind of strange that her first response is ‘hey, why don’t you just abandon your family’ and she even states that her response is based off her experiences with her father, it makes me wonder if there’s a part of her that wishes she could just run away. Also not a fan of the comment about her father being ‘obsessed with [her] carrying on the family bloodline.’ A lot of conversations about Count Galatea revolve around him wanting to improve his lands for his people, which is of course a noble cause, and that’s why he’s forcing Ingrid into marriage. But Ingrid presents a different explanation here. I’m not saying that her father doesn’t genuinely want the first thing, but there are other ways of fixing this problem as shown by Ingrid’s endings. That leads me to believe a part of the reason he got so obsessed with finding Ingrid a spouse is because he knows that will likely lead to children. The type of people who will pay big bucks to marry a crest carrying woman are also the type of people who are going to want children with her after all. And he saw Ingrid was a very GNC child. Of course, being GNC has nothing to do with whether or not you want children but to Count Galatea this could’ve planted a seed of worry, what if Ingrid has ambitions outside of carrying on the family name? What if Ingrid’s ambitions lead her to have no children at all (and from the lack of emphasis on children in her endings I do believe Ingrid doesn’t have a particular to be a mother). How do you solve this problem? Why, you force her into a marriage by guilting her with the wellbeing of her people and then let her husband force her into becoming a mother and suddenly you’ve got exactly what you wanted and still have the moral highground.

[luesmainblog]

fictosexual to the rescue! anon, i've struggled with this a lot, and ultimately what helped me was comparing my own experience to the experiences of those around me as they described them.

"uncomfortable" implies it is a Negative experience that you want to Avoid. sexual attraction is only uncomfortable if it is towards someone you REALLY don't want to find hot. there has to be an active addition of "i do not like this person, i do not WANT them to be attractive" for it to be uncomfortable. the key word here is "attractive" - as in it ATTRACTS you, it makes you want to come to them and Do something. in my case, i've only ever felt that towards completely fictional characters, which means i'm limited in my ability to describe actionable attraction... but it also means i can compare and contrast what is DEFINITELY attraction, and what is, as far as i can tell, definitely not. in my personal experience, sexual attraction comes in a few different forms, but they're all related to eachother. when I'm attracted to a character, the thought of "i'd like to see them in a sexual situation" is pretty fast, and very certain. i may even start imagining it right away as they're talking, with positive interest. if they're SUPER attractive, their sheer presence or certain key features about them create physical arousal, without anything sexual actually happening. your body gets a little warmer, there's a weird twisty, almost tingly sensation in your lower zones, your breathing might get a little faster, and it can get harder to think in clear sentences because your focus pin-points on how bad you wanna see this person sexually right now. there is also a more nebulous form where you don't actually want to see them in a sexual situation, but their presence strikes you as More Sexual than other people, but that's usually restricted to preteeny, puppylove crushes where you're not actually ready for that vulnerability. it's kind of weird to describe; even though you don't actually want to see them like that, your brain keeps thinking 'oh i wanna see them like that' anyways. notice that no part of this is what i would call "uncomfortable". rather than being repulsive, it's more similar to a form of anticipation. sort of like when you're REALLY hyperfocused on a particular thing, but you can't go engage with it right this second, so you're sitting there thinking about your hyperfix and waiting for the current situation to be over so you can go do it. "i could be playing pokemon right now if i wasn't doing my taxes", but with sex instead of pokemon.

it can be hard when your brain gets stuck on a particular thing. i hope that this will give you some fuel to help convince your brain that, no, that is NOT what it feels like, you're just trying to fill in a gap with what you have. "i don't WANT to see more, and i'm not aroused, so it's not attraction". i'm also happy to describe how i see real people to give you a better baseline of "not attraction", but i figured this was the more important bit to cover.

and if all of what i've described sounds like a really bad time... congratulations, you are definitely, fully ace. because you cannot related to it enough to understand how that could be a positive experience. it's basically an adrenaline junky trying to explain why roller coasters are fun to a person who HATES being scared and high up.

Ughhh I'm in that phase again where my brain keeps doubting if I'm really aroace (specifically the ace part)

The thing is that I don't know what sexaul attraction is like so whenever I see something like that I just get very uncomfortable and then my brain thinks that is what sexual attraction feels like, even though I *know* it isn't.

Idk all of this is so stupid, I feel like my head is just split in half with one side being logical and pulling up all sorts of facts about why that isn't true but then there's this other dumber side that keeps trying to convince me that it is and I've just been feeling really bad the entire time and I just really needed to let it out. I know I'll be fine soon but like.. it's days like these where I low-key wish that sex and romance weren't real just so I wouldn't have to deal with them lol. They're such a hassle 😭😭

Aaah, yeah, I see what you mean to a degree... It's honestly so difficult to have to rely on your own brain to feel certain and validated in a world that keeps making the ace experience confusing at best and invalidated completely at worst... I'm honestly sorry you have times like those, I wish there was an easy way out but there probably isn't considering the nature of the thing... I'm so sorry, I hope you're doing better now T^T

[56-2023]

April 10 - right finger middle joint (last) pain stiff started in afternoon. Typical breakfast home style with pastry. Red wine (2 glasses) past 2 nights. Special occasion... rarely drink. Stress level low... feel cathartic attending therapy EMDR/FLASH - feeling grounded and in touch with emotions. Feel like my time in AUSTIN went well with MELISSA.! And our trip to Houston was bonding.

I felt like I heard her and gave her a voice. When we visited Celeste we were low key ... I reached out to JAMES and Jose while MJ engaged with her and boys.

I admitted that I wasn't as close to brothers but that I was focused on reparenting myself and embracing my emotions while I transition out of suicidal thought 2021.

We passed a test fixing a flat using tire mobility kit! Unfortunately, we didn't get a chance to return to the home to say goodby to Celeste and boys...Very 😞 sad.

Naomi reminded me it's ok to shelf the flat tire for later... focus on being present for Celeste and boys. I feel bad for hyperfocusing on rental flat in Houston! I truely wanted to continue seeing them with MJ before returning to ATX before dark. Easier said...parts of me hyperfocus on situation...

She played partuguise Spanish pop music and asked a lot of questions. About childhood and current goals. I asked her about modern family radius. I did mention Susan her mom called me and we talked for 3:13:00 hrs! Ted Lasso, Shrinking, Rob Low... , Chuy's MJ move, Her mom, my dad, Rockport, addition, youtube, Billy amends... Molly and kids visit... no pictures of husband, dogs during storms sedation. Her voice- euphoric, I was distracted some promised Yomi BBQ.

Up all night... little to no sleep. Drove Yomi to airport he ran late... and I was driving fast at 6am missed turn to avoid toll to Yomi's advantage... quicker route.

Then picked up MJ and drove her to Houston! We stopped at Buckys twice Bastrop. She had her nicotine fix both times. I treated her with respect. No judgement. Weather wasn't as bad as anticipated... no flooding. However, I was fearful of letting her drive... rental car didn't trust her defensive driving ability. Made excuses to drive most of the way... let her drive the last bit out of Bastrop.

I was very low key. No irritation ever... only ADHD MED to focus. Maybe a car or two irritated me not letting me in or something. Otherwise, very low key!

Thursday-

I drove to Apt we sat and played with Kiki and I asked about how she was feeling... she shared that it would have been a big deal to not feel comfortable in the past vulnerable having me over feeling Apt was a mess! She gave me a tour of Apt. we sat and talked for about an hour. Then we went to her favorite coffee shop and talked some more! Then I dropped her off and drove across town to cemetery 360 route was cathardic. Amazon locker/Walmart to pee and silk flower supplies. Turned around and went back north ... saw soccer stadium and drove to chuys. We hung out an hour or so and I left to arboretum-BARNES noble, Amy's ice cream, Costco gas, on my way to Rudy's when she called ... Then SUSAN called. I pulled into Randles parking lot talked, drove to Rudy's talked, drove to Yomi's dropped off food and returned to rental talked, went to bed at 12pm edged 2x's and felt like I stayed away the rest of the night... very odd!!! Kind of had low grade dairy stomach pain...

Rolled out of bed at 5 and showered. Yomi wasn't up so I texted and called him. Then I waited in vehicle until 6am. I told him when I called him that I'd warm up the car. He seemed surprise I was outside and told me that Funmi was not going to be home until late and she wanted to show me where the food was! I ran inside and quickly returned to drive... 65-70mph is the norm. I wasn't having fun on 183 in dark w/ rain. I missed the turn to avoid toll going there and returning home! Funmi left front door unlocked for me so I returned to lock up. However, I waited almost until 7:45 am to leave airport wondering if he caught his flight. He said he called but I didn't get his call. He texted at 7:50. I started questioning the relationship at that point. Wondering if he is trustworthy. He seems shallow then he surprises you with deep encouraging text. He can engage with spiritual truths about relationship... but we obviously don't communicate well. We both can be avoidant I suppose.

Got triggered by Hertz adding insurance rate per day to policy. Doubled my rate!!! I was to tired to recognize what was happening as I left parking garage. The anger came and went during the visit a few times. Luckily, the intake return rental staff was off the chart approachable and skilled! She credited my account the difference... said I had to pay full amount but she listened and I told her about flat tire.

The flight back was very low key... TSA PASS A+, upgrade to premium paid for itself 100% booked flight Group B seating!!!! A+ , Steamed John McCenroe and OTTO. Both made me cry! Landed at 9:00am stopped for breakfast at Longbottom! Drove home and ate at Apt.

BTW- I went to bed Friday night at 9pm and woke up at 3am to check tire. Went back to bed and rolled out at 4:30 took shower and left by 5am. Took mopac to 360 to 290 w/ no toll!!! Very little traffic Saturday morning!!! Made it to gate by 6:15am!!! Once again, TSA PASS was amazing!!! Only 2-3 deep vs 25-30plus!!!

Was it hard to listen to MJ describe the trauma? You did this ___

Celeste and her would color at my parents when it got tense!

Girls that sit on dads laps - message that was gross!

Brian - curious vs judge !!! Ted lasso!

SLM- Sheldon sat behind him talked to him the whole time about... he was a dear in headlights!

MJ- GPA BILLS Funeral- I attended but Gma D didn't and MJ was disappointed and upset she didn't attend.

MJ- Patrick takes plays devils advocate with MJ ... she doesn't feel heard! I can relate to Patrick's way and wish I understood it's more about feeling heard than trying to create dialogue...

MJ- GPA was asked to teach her how to park but was curious how to teach her if she hadn't driven yet? Haha 😂

MJ- how I acted around women, how my dad acted around them how I reparent and don't feel the same way... I was worried about spending to much time thought worried id hurt her saying something wrong... I didn't know how to have a relationship with female that wasn't physical. Had to keep my distance! Now, because I have a relationship with self I can be vulnerable myself around other females and not let it be about physical.

MJ - tree painting in shed. I told her it didn't look like a tree. Critical... I let her continue but I think I borderline dissociated and tried to recall because I vaguely remembered the task no recall of my action behavior! Grandpa was in town during that event BTW! I remembered him visiting when I returned to Oregon. What was her point... about my critical comment about tree... ya I dissociated!

MJ - slept in Thursday until 8am after her Wed ketamine! I did too... went to bed at 2:30am.

SLM- Gma D commented that MJ looked different. Melissa said she's on psychotropic Rx. My 1st thought was oh no... GMA isn't close to MELISSA and she's trying to hot wire her emotionally to relate for relationship. ??? She might think that ? Is harmless but she's bypassing layers of context to get to relationship. SLM was there and too offense for MJ ... perhaps her mom doesn't have capacity to experience time with MJ (trust) maybe GMA D is feeling entitled to a level of personal relationship based on family status.

SLM- can't be in a relationship with mom but she can relate. That looks like sharing at a level of trust that pacifies her moms capacity for relationship.

SLM- Boundaries- is smallest distance at which I can love both you and me. Oh it's a half a mile!!!

SLM- Clean up my side of street! Instantly got pregnant and instantly got back into pxx

SLM- God is here and has something for SLM! Searching for Spiritual nuggets ... checking her own log on her eye... that was torturous don't get me wrong!! Your in this dance what's your part! Every class boundaries, changes that heal, recovery depart classss at church GT!

I want to understand this ...

SLM is addicted to thinking -Paula!

Deep revelation...

MJ and I realized Celeste might be closer to my dad because she didn't hear him and fear him... like everybody else did! She still has nightmares. Boys names Max, Michael

MJ- online friend dating... vetting those that like same authors... movies YouTube without saying how they process?

-Pushing friends/people without trauma away.

- we are the same for a lot of issues. Triggers: noises,

-her suicide happened in relationship when she felt like her cracks were showing and he was going to leave! He said if she was wanting to be sad all the time that he was going to leave? That's not the person he was wanting to stay with.

MJ- I was 15yrs volunteered to hospital. Acting out! Why acting out? Wanted to be heard!! Austin 15yrs old separation! Travis 15yrs old told him about me! No secrets!

MJ- mad at mom family secrets! When dad kicked out she maybe was questioned why separation why kicked out? The the secrets came out!!! If I had changed maybe she would have exposed the insanity and gas lighting kids!

SLM- if she moves away she is moving away from mom who is taking her to therapy... among other things...Me- is Patrick open enough to supporting MJ in family community! Will he gaslight her to move away and not grow or is that question far fetched? Is family stable enough to give space and support without judgement! Does Brian talk to SLM and Billy? To take a pulse on grounded ness? Can family hold space for each other even if she moves across town?

CHUYS- MJ and Patrick - let Patrick talk about guitar and music and Brazil's .Zara bs Zlatan Ibrahim

NAOMI:

-ok to shelf the flat tire for later... focus on being present for Celeste and boys. I feel bad for hyperfocusing on rental flat in Houston! I truely wanted to continue seeing them with MJ before returning to ATX before dark.

-I think I dissociated just then can you repeat ...?

- I underestimate MJ defensive driving... she did well the last bit driving from Bastrop to apt.



[empressofdiamonds]

Your average woman spends....

7 hours a day on her cellphone

49 hours a week,

210 a month,

2520 per year,

And finally, 25200 per decade. That's 2.9 years of her life spent on Instagram, Tiktok, YouTube, et cetera, doing useless activities that she'll not even remember, out of 10 YEARS of her life.

Even dedicating one third of that total time spent on screens on activities that provide an actual feeling of furfillement would reveal itself to be incredibly more fruitful.

We're assisting to a massive collective time sinking right now, and it should worry every single one of us. Even you, dear reader.

Your average woman is putting off excercise, skipping cooking healthy meals and going for the junkfood, avoiding studying new things that will enrich her life by going on Instagram Reels, odds she's skipping socialization opportunities with family or friends, she's probably missing out on activities because she's being overwelmed by the SELF-CAUSED lack of TIME. Your average woman is very likely to report lack of focus and feeling less productive than she feels she could be. She's also likely to report having mental health issues, from anxiety to depression, compulsion or apathy, or general lack of energy even.

Those two different issues, time wasting and lack of satisfaction with one's life, are absolutely linked.

And in my honest opinion, dedicating maybe one hour or two per day to reading, self-improvement, journaling, meditation, excercise, actual in-person socialization, and so on is going to help a LOT those issues.

Your average woman is actually simply NOT doing any of that.

And you probably deduced that being average isn't a great thing in that case.

You owe yourself your own happiness and furfillement. You owe yourself time to yourself.

You owe yourself an excellent focus, you owe yourself accomplishment and success.

You know how to do it. Eliminate anything that's on the way. Uninstall Tumblr and Pinterest and Tiktok and Facebook and Twitter and... You get it. You're way more likely to WASTE your precious time and STEAL yourself from great opportunities because you dead-scrolled.

Then, with the remaining apps, electronics, etc, severely declutter their use down to what you DO actually appreciate, to what you consider important.

Technology offers great benefits but it did stole our collective time. It made us insolated from each other, it made us hyperfocused on the fake PLEASURE that electronic device "interactions" offers, and made us skip the ACTUAL PLEASURE that life offers us.

I am not writing this to be angry at YOU in particular, I am personally pretty angry at the WHOLE situation that led us to that. And I personally feel pretty helpless facing this whole situation, people are aware of this themselves but they don't really realize how bad it actually is.

[wondero28]

Aaron T w/ a Crush

- despite what many believe, T is much more aware & in touch with his emotions then he seems. He plays dumb a lot, avoids opening up unless its beneficial to everyone, and often has to soothe his own issues- so the second he feels a fuzzy fondness creep over him when he’s around you?? He knows EXACTLY what it is. When it DOESNT GO AWAY?? He couldn’t be more sure

- T gets passing crushes & attraction every so often, its rarely very genuine and mostly just a physical interest & need. But when he finds himself longing for your company and attention after hard days? He’s immediately panicked inside. He’s in a boyband, he has some horrible mental health issues he needs to work out, he doesn’t have time for a deep & meaningful relationship- and more importantly he DOESN’T feel ready for it

- He’s not ready for you. He wants to be good, better. Even if you reject him. He wants to be a good person in his mind before he even considers dating you! And he tries, you make him try to improve his mental health & face his issues with commitment & self image

- And he does resist trying to date! But fuck. You make it SO hard. You come around and Aaron is just so at ease. He feels happy, content, safe with you. You’re just a human embodiment of euphoric feelings for him. And he’s addicted to it. You make him feel so good when so much of his life has him been feeling shitty and disgusting- you make him feel like he’s lucky to be alive. You’re just… relieving. You don’t get rid of all of his problems- really unless you’re actively trying you don’t get rid of any of them. You just soothe his pain & stress. You’re someone T looks forward to, someone he looks to the future for.

- So there’s no way in hell he can avoid at least showing affection & appreciation. So he does! He just… doesn’t quite realize how much he’s showing =v=;;

- To keep it short and simple, Aaron T with a crush is the purest example of puppy love. Except unlike puppy love- this runs so much deeper. At least for Aaron

- He is absolutely head over heels for you, he denies how bad it is but even the other guys pick up on it. What is normally a guy who has to fidget to focus even a little- becomes a young man hyperfocused on his newest interest (you). Not in a creepy way- he doesn’t usually stare. He just listens. He’s able to sit still and relax near you, he can listen to you talk or quietly watch you go on about your activities. His face softens and his shoulders release tension. Tae Young was the first to notice this effect you had on his friend & he was more then thrilled. Tae didn’t need T to tell him he had a crush, he knew his homie well enough >:0!!

- So of course Tae & the others make excuses to have you visit T. Be it “hey can you give him this” or “hey you should go check and make sure he’s ready”. And each & every time you do- T is chatting up a storm. You make him giddy when you’re both in a situation to talk. He’ll ramble on, ask plenty of questions, and just patiently listen like the little lovestruck pubby boy he is. If you start walking off or going somewhere? Rest assured he’s following you as you go. Even if he’s still pulling his overalls up his legs, your sweet boy is stumbling along to continue the conversation

- And in a similar nature- he is ridiculously loyal and listens to you so well. If you tell him to get still & quit squirming? The boy will stop. He’ll sit still and blush while you adjust his hat or pluck something out of his hair. He wont ease up until you tell him to relax or until you pull away and move on. A stylist asks him to sit still & quit squirming?? He stops maybe a whole 30 seconds before he’s back on his bullshit. Robaire & Jesse tell him to wait outside for 10 minutes while they go grab some stuff? They come back & he’s climbing something or he’s not even there. BUT YOU ask him to wait? 10? 20? 30 minutes?? Your sweet pubby boy is still there. Usually a bit pouty but immediately lighting up with joy and excitement when you’re back

- And as if that weren’t cute enough, You get so SO many special privileges. From getting to use his first name only, to getting to remove his hat & touch his hair, to messing with his overalls- really honestly any item of his you can touch. Like, do you want to eat some of his special chips?? The ones he literally cant find anywhere except his home town or offline? Take em. Take as many as you need. You want to play with his favorite toy or fidget? Go ahead.. he’s clearly a little nervous to sharing- but its YOU. You’re just… you’re trusted. Genuinely and wholeheartedly. And not a lot of people (basically only Z & Tae) are trusted to the level you are.

- And of course, the best one of all: extra good hugs. T is a notoriously good hugger, he’s the guy to go to for hugs. But… they feel different now from when you first met him. They’re warmer, more careful, more tender… and of course they are!… he’s in love with you. I mean, it quit being just a crush ages ago.

- Aaron loves you. He just does. His hugs are warmer cause touching you makes his entire body flush with warmth. They’re more careful because he took time to learn what kind of hug makes you happiest, took care to figure out how you like to be held or how you want to hold him. They’re more tender, even if they’re firm, because he’s mastered the perfect touch just for you. Because you’re worth that. You’re worth that & more.

- You’re worth his time, so he gives it to you. He’ll follow you around wherever you let him (while respecting your privacy ofc). You’re worth his respect, so he makes sure every boundary you set is respected by himself & others. You’re worth his love, so he takes the time to check on you daily, every morning & every night AT LEAST. And you’re of course worth the effort of him getting better. You’re worth everything T can give- not because you demand it or anything, but because he desperately wants to give it to you. He wants to give HIMSELF to you. You mean so much to him.

- So yes, Aaron T with a crush? Its cute. He’s your pubby boy. He doesn’t do a TON to be outwardly flirty or romantic, he’s not ready for that yet. But his change in mood & behavior while he’s “crushing” on you says so much. He’s excitable, extra cheerful in a more genuine way, he listens to you closely and follows any command- why, he’s just wrapped around your finger.

- Bonus: the only thing he does that’s debatably ‘flirty’ before he’s ready is very mild gift giving. He will approach you at random to give you things he thinks you might like, or things he think reminds him of you. Be it a small collectible figure or a pretty sea shell- he brings you stuff! He also offers (very casually) to pay for your stuff. It can be a meal, a ticket, a jacket, he never minds! Its a more subtle and casual way for him to help

- Bonus 2: Physical touch is a big deal for Aaron T. Before he’s ready if you touch him, he’ll stiffen up and gradually relax under your touch. And sure, you make his entire body hot with every touch- but he’s so very okay with that. And after he’s more ready with his crush- he’ll casually be touching you A LOT. He doesn’t always realize it, but your beloved pubby boy tends to make contact. From leaning into your arm, his leg touching yours, you both having arms linked, or even just to him laying in your lap- he’s a fan of physical touch. At least yours. Its soothing~

[jack-of-heartstrings]

... Friend, I don't know how to tell you this, but love isn't a pure incorruptible force of good, and teaching kids that it is leads to extremely unhealthy expectations and increases the risk of both staying in bad situations and abandoning salvageable ones.

"If they loved you, they wouldn't act that way" is a toxic message. "If they loved you enough, they'd be there for you, no matter what else they have going on in their own life" is a toxic message. "That's not love, it's abuse" is frankly a toxic message.

Love can be dangerous. Love has fangs and claws. Love makes people stupid and irrational and dangerous and Miraculous has never shied away from that side of it.

Gabriel loves Adrien, more like an artist loves their work than like a parent loves their child, but still aspects of both. It's just that his love prioritizes "safety" over happiness, and his idea of "safety" and "what's good for you" is twisted and jaded as hell. He very genuinely believes "you'll thank me later", and in Gabriel's mind, why wouldn't he? Surely Adrien didn't love Emilie any less than Gabriel did, surely anyone would do anything to restore their perfect beloved family to what it was if they had Gabriel's chance, right? (Wrong, but that's his mindset.) And Gabriel's obsessive love for Emilie and refusal to work through his grief drive the conflict of the entire show.

Abuse isn't antithetical to love nearly as often as it's fueled by love. Love can be the most powerful force for good, but it isn't inherently immutably good. And telling kids (or viewers of any age) "If your friends or parents or future partners mistreat you, it must be malicious and on purpose, and they don't actually love you" is horrifying. And on the opposite side, "if you're certain someone loves you, then it must not really be abuse, it must not actually be that bad" actively discourages people from recognizing how bad their circumstances are. Adrien going "I don't know why I can't talk to him, he's my father, I love him, I know he loves me" is so painfully real.

And in the romantic vein:

Marinette genuinely likes Adrien from the umbrella scene onward, but what she calls "love" for most of the show is more infatuation and being in love with the concept of falling in love. And she's explicitly said she's aware that all her three-kids-and-a-hamster fairy tale fantasies are just wrapping herself in escapist fantasies to avoid reality and the chance of rejection. But even that, if we call it a form of love, makes her stupid. We've seen over and over, with attention repeatedly called to it, that Marinette gets closer to Adrien, forms a closer genuine connection little by little, when she treats him most normal and they become better friends.

When she tries to do Big Romantic Gestures, or gets too swept up in her feelings, things go wrong, over and over and over and over. From Aspik to Chat Blanc to Catwalker to Flairmidible. From hurting his and others' feelings when she's too hyperfocused to getting distracted by her jealous of Kagami leading to losing Fu as a mentor and acquiring the responsibility of Guardian before she was ready.

And I'm gonna reply to this here so OP from the other post doesn't keep getting bothered by notes but bringing it in now because it'll be better to talk about these things in conjunction:

Yeah. It wasn't the only thing, but it DID take away a lot of agency, and in this case that adds to the plot. He's consistently shows as the "damsel in distress", but not just to give Marinette the knight someone to save. He's imprisoned and struggling with the isolation that brings him, and the Senti control is just a stronger lock on the prison door.

The truest version of this kid isn't Adrien Agreste as we've typically seen him or Chat Noir, the prior constantly masking and suppressed, and the latter wildly overcompensating. (I feel like Ephemeral and some of his rebellious moments in late s5 give us the best glimpses of who he'd like to be.) But we're gonna focus on the Adrien side as he's usually been.

Exactly what kind of message would it be for children to say that if you love you friends or your middle/high school partner, you should be able to defy a controlling abusive parent??? That if your love is strong enough, you should be able to just shrug off outside forces beyond your control, should be able to take control, and if you don't, you must be the problem? Because you're loving as hard as you can and it's just not good enough?? That's a horrifying thing for a child to believe.

People, especially kids, are subject to forces beyond their control, no matter how strong their feelings are. With things like Ephemeral, Risk, and a lot of season 5, the Senti plot only reinforces that. Exaggeration is one of the strongest tools in media, especially children's media, because it takes things that might be easier to miss in real life and says them louder and clearer. Adrien being smothered by a controlling parent and conflicted about disobeying even for someone he adores would have worked without it, but the added element of control increases the tragedy of it. And being a little more fantastical simultaneously lets it be extra clear as a parallel to real life struggles and an extra step removed from them, which tends to be easier for audiences to handle.

Chat Blanc didn't even rely on that, nor did it actually rely on mind control. The akuma heightened his already messed up emotions and addled his brain even more, but Chat was panicking even before being hit with it. Because he loves Ladybug, but he loves his parents, too. And he just got multiple bombshells dropped on him, and he's a deeply emotional person.

And hell, the Senti plot retroactively adds a bit of bittersweet pain here too in that he is literally MADE of love. It's like Luka said in Determination, he's surrounded by a sea of it and he loves everyone. Of course the people he loves most have the most power to hurt him, and the most power to throw him into turmoil when he's asked to choose between them. The girl he's loved for less than a year versus the father he's loved his entire life, who's become more cold and distant this past year but wasn't always, who's apparently been his enemy for as long as he's known the girl but he's now learned is doing so trying to bring back his mother, the person he was closest to and loved most in the world from his birth til her death? Yeah. He doesn't handle that perfectly instantly, idk what to tell you.

And yet.

And yet...

For all that the power of one person's love can't overcome any challenge ever presented, for all the the power of love isn't always employed for good, it is still so strong, especially in combination with hope and strength in numbers. For all that it makes people stupid and irrational and causes so much pain and misery from so many different angles, it also brings comfort and healing and joy, and people will fight tooth and nail for any version of it, the good and the bad and the ugly.

Adrien's love for Marinette can't save him from his prison, but the love he gave to her further empowering her love for him, his faith in Ladybug not knowing her identity, Nathalie's love for him and for Emilie and even for the version of Gabriel she used to know, Gabriel's love for Emilie that has become so twisted yet breaks down when reminded directly of her own wishes from her own mouth, the tiny embers left that can still think about what's good for his family fueling him to not just accept his death in his desire to be reunited with Emilie but to use what little bit he had left to save Nathalie... Not to mention the power of everyone helping keep up the fight worldwide. Yeah, that's stronger.

And it's good for him, but it hurts. Sometimes, "I just want what's best for you" is deeply misguided and hurts unnecessarily, and sometimes, what's good for you hurts more than anything. It might be leaving a bad relationship, cutting off a relative, quitting a job that pays well but makes you miserable or that you love but can't keep you fed. Sometimes everything gets worse before it gets better, or one thing can't get better without making something else worse. But you live, you keep going, you heal, and hopefully, your remaining loved ones help.

Adrien's been taught his whole life that he Needs To Be Good Enough to be worthy of love, and Marinette is someone screaming no. You don't need to DO anything. You just need to be you. He doesn't need to suffer by fighting his dad, he doesn't need to live up to any standard. She will do anything to protect him, to make him feel loved, just because he exists, just for being himself. And imo that's a more powerful and helpful message than "get revenge on your abuser." London makes it explicitly clear Marinette's choice to lie isn't great; we're not supposed to imitate that. But we are supposed to learn that we too can be loved just for existing, and that the kindest people take no joy in the suffering of others even when they've been hurt by them.

As for the dynamic...

The Love Square throughout the show has mostly been a flaming wreck of infatuation-fueled stupidity, at times funny and at times painfully frustrating to watch, interlaced with moments of genuine bonding and building trust. Through season 5, though, what we see develop is more real, more genuine. Facing hardship for each other is no longer blindly reckless martyrdom, but trying to do things together, as a team, in a different way than they are as heroes. And when Marinette does act on her own, it's no longer about HER losing him, but with a deeper understanding of what HE wants and needs and fears. When she lies about his father, it's with the understanding that if he finds out, it might ruin everything and make him hate her, and she's willing to accept that if it means sheltering him here and now. She would rather lose him than see him suffer more than he has to, and that's a much more selfless form of love than she's usually shown.

Not to be incredibly biased but Luka has pretty consistently been the benchmark for What Pure Love Looks Like, no wild infatuation, no desire to own or control, but forgiveness and communication and unconditional adoration. And that's what we see Marinette's feelings evolve to resemble more by the end, even if she's still got her inherent and frankly now deeply exacerbated need to control circumstances (albeit not Adrien directly, which is good). Marinette lying to Adrien in an effort to protect him largely mirrors Luka lying to her in Wishmaker, and I imagine that similarly, there will very much be consequences, they just won't be permanent.

This show does a lot of that. The temporary holders had their identities revealed, and the following season there were consequences. Chat Blanc was deeply traumatizing, and the whole following season was filled with consequences. It's just eventually, enough new stuff has happened that even though the previous stuff helped lead here, it stops feeling like the cause. Which is good. Things have meaningful effects but it doesn't feel like paying for the same individual mistakes endlessly.

So yeah. I think Marinette keeping this secret from Adrien comes from the best intentions and is also going to blow up horribly. I think it's messy and not ideal. I don't think it's "toxic" but I think it's not a healthy decision for either of them. I think it might be the kindest thing she could do under the circumstances and that the kindness might make it easier to handle in the long run, but that being kind isn't always the most effective or healthy way to deal with something. I think it will make things worse when it comes out but that they'll work through the consequences and learn from them and continue to grow as people. And I think the power of forgiveness and atonement and working through things together brings people closer, when both sides are willing to put in that work.

But yeah.

Maybe I'm wrong! Maybe there will be no payoff. Maybe they'll drop every ball and the show suddenly tanks in quality. Maybe I'm imagining it entirely, or maybe it was setting up something that could have been good but they just got tired of making it and gave up. Maybe anything, the future is never certain.

I'm just willing to wait and see where it goes before deciding in advance that everything is going to suck. Especially when yeah, I have immensely enjoyed the more serious tone and deeper characterization and more complicated messy dynamics. Again, you don't have to like it yourself to accept that some people do. I'm not trying to convince you to like it. I'm saying I and others are allowed to and that it's not the best use of your time to be mad that a cartoon isn't to your specific personal taste.

Any piece of media that has anything meaningful to say will resonate deeply with some people and be offputting or infuriating to others, and any piece of media at all will be boring to at least some people. Trying to please everyone tends to make it more boring to everyone. But absolutely nothing will ever resonate with everyone; shows as highly praised as Avatar: The Last Airbender still have critics and people who just didn't vibe with it. And you kinda gotta accept that? Like, do you think your personal standards are uniquely objectively correct and that you alone are incapable of being wrong about the quality of a work? Does that sound more plausible to you than art being subjective?

What I get out of this is gushing about something I love, and the slim hope of convincing you or others who may see this to be a little more open-minded, a little more likely to focus on the things you love, and a little less likely to be critical of others for having fun. I always try to do my best to encourage positivity and leniency in others, especially since that mindset ideally extends beyond media. But what do you get out of it? Does it bring you joy or satisfaction to see someone going "wow I love this show" or "wow I think it would be neat if this happened" and challenge them about it, to go "actually the thing that makes you happy is bad and you should feel bad"? And do you think Miraculous Ladybug is the hill to die on for that? Is there nothing more meaningful you could direct that time and energy toward?

It's clear that at least part of your disdain comes from a place of genuine concern, but I promise, there are people who find this show comforting and helpful. There are people taking away good messages, too. Don't be Gabriel insisting you know what's best for others and trying to keep them away from anything that doesn't meet your personal standards. Let people like what they like, and focus on the things you like, and the ways you can help people by lifting them up, not tearing them down.

I just want to clarify, I've enjoyed some shows that ended up a lot darker than they started, but the way MLB did it feels too sudden and unnatural. And at this point, so much sadness has happened that the lighthearted scenes feel hollow.

Also, the main reason I'm not willing to accept the senti-kid plot is because, while they were sad when Sentibug was destroyed, the narrative didn't treat it with NEARLY as much gravity as a real human's death would warrant, and the other human sentimonsters we saw before season 5 were never implied to be real people. Not to mention, they were all copies of existing people and came out already teens or adults, while we know Adrien and Felix started out as babies. I've talked to several people who know a lot about creative writing, and they all think that the stuff people pointed to to support the senti-Adrien theory were a pathetic excuse for foreshadowing.

By the way, Thomas says the show is still meant to be for ages six and up.

It not being treated with gravity is what we call "Fridge Horror," and it's not nearly the only example.

Like... The show can dance around it all it wants, because the heroes don't want to directly see anyone get too hurt or for anyone to endure more than they have to, and not showing it too overtly is part of what keeps it "kid-friendly", but the miraculous ladybugs can pretty explicitly bring people back to life, so long as they die as a result of whatever problem the Lucky Charm was summoned to fix.

The temple after Feast alone was effectively that, but in that case you could argue everything it ate was more in magic stasis. But Marinette not only saw the apocalyptic state of Paris but watched her own corpse disintegrate in front of her (in season 3!! you wanna talk horrifying!!) in the Chat Blanc timeline and still even considered throwing her Lucky Charm then and there. Trains and buildings have been yeeted into space, under the sea, in volcanoes, buildings get crumbled, giant explosions take out multiple city blocks. In the London special, she had to tell Adrien that Gabriel's death was a result of using the Wish to sacrifice it, because otherwise her ladybugs should have been able to bring him back. People die offscreen and get brought back fairly often, and everyone just chooses not to talk about it, and that's always been a subtle part of the world. That's fridge horror!

(There's kind of a fun/devastating bonus there in imagining how that might interact with NOT being able to just fix Emilie, given the restrictions on how Lucky Charm can work, but of course that can't really come up without talking about the first thing, so that much is purely speculatory territory. But I digress.)

I do know quite a bit about creative writing, too, and I maintain that people are allowed to have different opinions on what works and what doesn't, but that doesn't make any of those opinions objectively true. You and your friends can agree the foreshadowing was weak. I and others can agree it was strong, especially if we personally picked up on it early. It's subjective, though, that's how storytelling works.

As for whether or not it's "appropriate for kids", that's also a matter of opinion, but like? Other Kid Show examples under the cut.

In My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Equestria is the friendliest place in the known world, to a point that non-pony cultures struggle with the concept, yet even IN Equestria, the bond between Twilight and her friends even early on is rare. Even ponies need a School of Friendship because they struggle with maintaining deep and healthy connections longterm and with the communication skills needed to do that. That's pretty depressing tbh! Also there are multiple apocalyptic alternate timelines and near-apocalyptic events, among other things.

In Sofia the First, one of Sofia's greatest strengths and flaws is that she's extremely diplomatic/manipulative; these are the same skill, just used for different ends. She's extremely indirect and that both helps people and causes fully unnecessary problems; she's extremely secretive and that's both good for keeping her friends and powers safe and puts so much weigh on her shoulders over time when she doesn't trust people enough to seek more help. (The showrunner has directly said I am correct about this take btw, one of the biggest flexes of my life. ;w;) One could argue that's not the best role model for kids, or that the tone growing heavier as Sofia takes on more and more responsibilities and starts struggling more toward the end is getting too dark for a pre-school Disney show, but a lot of people loved it.

ALSO in Sofia, there's an episode where Sofia's stepsister Amber makes a wish on a magic well, which is VERY reminiscent of Hal 9000 and takes a 'careful what you wish for'/'all magic comes with a price' approach to granting wishes. Amber's wish to keep her dad from spending so much time with Sofia turns Sofia into a cat bc their dad is allergic, and at the end of the episode, their dad makes a very direct wish to just turn Sofia back to normal. The well, which gives anyone Three Wishes, says he still has one wish left, and when the kids ask what his first wish had been, he says that's a story for another time. Anyway the series finale confirms that he wished he and his first wife could have kids, so it made her pregnant with twins and then she died from their birth. SO... THAT HAPPENED...

In Lion Guard, the pilot's conflict is resolved with a literal fart joke, and season 1 is really episodic and cute, and then over the course of season 2, things get much heavier and more serious, and in season 3, they deal pretty directly with disability and a sort of mental illness, and not like a Very Special Episode thing. There's the nuance of a newly blinded character being infantilized and coddled excessively, and finding the balance between his friends respecting he can still do stuff and him accepting that he does need more help than he used to. There's a character with chronic pain and anger regulation problems dependent on medication to function (yes I'm serious) and the struggle that comes with building too much tolerance over time for it to work anymore, and the nuance of his friends understanding this isn't his fault and that he needs support vs trying to maintain boundaries and remember they also still have needs. In the end, the blinded character gets a treatment that restores his vision but has to accept it will never be nearly as good as it was before, and the other character's treatment is literally therapy. This is a Lion King spinoff.

BLUEY deals with topics like miscarriages, fertility struggles, the lasting traumatic effects that a seemingly minor incident can have on the psyche of a young child when at the time it was the most afraid they'd ever been. There's an episode where the parents are hungover as shit after a New Year's Eve party and it never SAYS that and the kids in the show don't really question this brand of 'sleepy', but it's very much played for laughs for the adult viewers. There's an episode where Bluey helps try to save a wild bird and after it dies she gets her mom and sister to immediately help re-enact the incident like a PTSD response????????? Most episodes are 6 minutes, and the single 28-minute special is incredibly deeply moving.

And that's all looking at KID-kid shows. Move up slightly to something like The Owl House or Amphibia or Gravity Falls or Steven Universe, and like...... Miraculous Ladybug is not a unique level of offense deserving of some kind of crusade.

Kids can handle some dark themes, I promise. There's some stuff that it's better to imply than to show, like the death example earlier, or like how the show can go to crazy lengths with more fantastical destruction but never shows blood. But studies have actually shown most kids develop deeper understanding of other people's struggles, more interest in learning why people act the way they do instead of assuming, and more willingness to forgive and to offer help to others when they are exposed to stories (books, tv, or otherwise) with some darker, heavier, sadder themes sometimes.

Like the world is crumbling around us and I don't think it's good for anyone to spend too long spiraling into nihilistically grimdark media (not bad to exist, just in excess), and I think some levity is good for everyone, especially kids. But overly sheltering anyone is provenly actively harmful. Hardship, struggle, and failure build various forms of empathy. Conversely, when people have minimal struggles, minimal consequences, minimal exposure to the struggles of others in a meaningful and personal way, you end up with, well, people like Chloe, with impossibly high standards and entitlement and having so little experience dealing with pain or frustration in a healthy way that they're prone to redirecting blame and doubling down on "why should I care anyway" because they can and that's easier. It's never too late to change that, even in old age, let alone as a teen, but it gets harder the older one gets.

Stories allow one to experience and understand struggles faced by characters alongside them, and develop in similar ways more safely than firsthand experience. That ability to build understanding and connection is one of the greatest powers OF stories.

What exactly is inappropriate about showing kids that sometimes things get really hard, sometimes things are really complicated, there aren't always just Good Guys and Bad Guys, and sometimes the people you trust most will hurt you, but you can still find people who love you unconditionally? With saying that even the strongest heroes will crumble under pressure, will make huge mistakes, and will endure hard times, but the greatest power any of us have is strength in numbers and community? With saying that it's everyone's responsibility to look out for each other, even if you can't get everyone around you to realize the same or join you, and even if you don't think you have anything special to offer? What's too dark or heavy about saying that sometimes things get really bad, but it never means you have to give up?

Because Miraculous isn't grimdark, it's not sad for the sake of being sad. It's hopeful. It's about being up to the test when things go wrong and the power of love-- romantic, platonic, familial, for country and community and life itself-- always being so strong. And idk but I feel like a lot of people of all ages could use more of that, actually.

[mbti-notes]

INFJ. Processing past Fe failures. Want to get better at socializing / having deeper relationships/friendships. Muddling through Ti development - desiring to get better at self-awareness + communication. A lot in my brain and it'd be a lot to share the entirety of recent exchanges that have ended up in failed relationships, so I'll try asking this and hope it's enough to get critical thinking help from you, thank you much in advance. (1/2)

[con't: I notice a pattern of me trying to communicate and express myself to be understand by, or be emotionally met by Fi users, and them responding by saying things like "I don't know what you want from me", "I don't know how to help you," "I'm sorry you feel that way" or them even saying variations of "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" (ENTJ) if I express that I feel dismissed, uncomfortable, or disrespected.

This isn't ALL Fi users thank God & I'm in therapy now to address my downplaying of my emotional needs, being willing to work through anything even though the romantic relationships I'm attracting are woefully incompatible or unhealthy. But I want to get better at doing my part to increase the chance of relationships building. What am I doing/expecting/judging in my communication with Fi users so they respond that way or has me feeling being unseen/misunderstood? Is it the basic INFJ recs?]

You point to Fi specifically. Fi doesn't require outside validation, so perhaps what you're encountering is their lack of concept of outside validation, in the manner that you're seeking it with Fe.

All of those example statements sound like they could be taken sincerely. "I don't know what you want from me" could be an opportunity for you to better explain what you need/want. "I don't know how to help you" could be an opportunity for you to provide better instructions. "I'm sorry you feel that way" could be a helpless admission that the two of you don't see things the same way. "Maybe you're not used to my communication style" could be an indication that there is a need to investigate the big gap between what was perceived and what was actually intended.

Not everyone is going to see eye-to-eye with you, not everyone is going to agree with your version of events, not everyone is going to care about your needs and feelings enough to address them kindly and patiently. This should all be okay with you unless you were walking around expecting everyone out there to have the capacity to meet you emotionally or validate your emotions (unhealthy Fe)? That's simply not gonna happen, so it's an unreasonable expectation. That's why it's so important that YOU be the first to take care of yourself and own your emotions, set proper personal boundaries, and navigate interpersonal boundaries more gracefully.

If you feel someone has violated your boundary (i.e. you feel hurt by them), the answer isn't to violate theirs in return. You're trying to fix a problem in the relationship, so further damaging the relationship isn't going to help. Whether you are right to feel hurt is not the main issue. Feelings themselves are always true and tell you something true about you. However, what you DO about the feelings isn't always right. There are two main ways people deal with negative feelings: 1) bottle them up, which amounts to self-harm, or 2) express them, which opens up the possibility of doing harm to others, if they don't have the means to process your feelings. Neither way is ideal.

If your main approach is to expect people to change (when they can't or don't want to), expect them to give you more than they are capable of giving (due to not having the means or resources), expect them to understand something that they are not really capable of understanding (when they just don't think in the same way as you), etc, your expectations are easily perceived as "demands". You're essentially pressuring people to be what you want them to be, which amounts to dishonoring them and violating their boundary. This approach is usually met with submission or resistance. If they submit to you (because they care for you), they will be unhappy for having allowed you to violate their boundary, and the problem will recur because it was only swept under the rug. If they resist you, conflict ensues, and the relationship bond will be tested and possibly threatened, especially if the conflict recurs without resolution.

There is a way to honor your feelings while also honoring others' feelings. It requires you to have good emotional intelligence and be a good communicator. Good emotional intelligence means respecting your feelings and taking full responsibility for them. Instead of seeing yourself as the victim (i.e. "you made me feel this way"), you see yourself as an agent with the power to decide what is best (i.e. "I feel this way and this is what I should do about it"). Positioning yourself as a passive or helpless victim means that you cast blame and eventually demand reparations. Positioning yourself as an active and influential agent means that you survey the situation objectively and then try to act in the best interests of everyone involved. This is what healthy and confident Fe should look like.

For example, when you feel dismissed, maybe you bottle it up for awhile, until you can't take it anymore (because the problem remains unaddressed). Then you confront people and say, "I feel dismissed". This implies that the other person has done something bad to you. You are the victim, which puts them on the spot, feeling like the bad guy, and then they can't hear you, due to becoming too preoccupied with not wanting to be the bad guy. Communication is likely to stall there, unless they have the wherewithal (emotional intelligence) to keep their focus on you and your concerns.

Instead, you could say to yourself, "I feel dismissed". You take full responsibility for your feelings and validate them for yourself. When you are good at validating your own feelings and emotions (something you admit you really struggle with), you'll eventually find that you won't need to rely on others to do it for you.

What does it mean to feel dismissed? It means that you believe you're not being taken seriously, or something to that effect. Not very difficult to understand. What to do about it? The feeling of disharmony is a message to you that you have to do more to advocate for yourself and make space for yourself within the relationship/group (it is good Fe advice). There are many ways to advocate for yourself without stepping on others. If you choose the right way, in terms of honoring everyone involved, the feeling of being dismissed will dissipate naturally. If you choose the wrong way, in terms of honoring yourself but dishonoring others, you'll encounter the problem again, because you haven't addressed the underlying problem of you positioning yourself as the victim in every relationship conflict. Chronic victim mentality is often an indication that you depend too much on outside validation of your self-worth.

Unless you are stuck in a very toxic social environment, the majority of people are not malicious for no reason. Before accusing or blaming, are you absolutely certain that they INTENDED to dismiss you? If not, wouldn't it be wise to gather more info? For instance, you could ask something like, "Have you had the time to give my idea serious consideration?" No blaming, no battling, no victim-victimizer dynamic. Do you understand how communicating without blame, through genuine inquiry, avoids trapping the both of you in a vicious cycle of seeking emotional reparations? You give people the benefit of the doubt. You give people the chance to clarify or explain. You give yourself the chance to grasp the FULL picture so that you can make a more informed decision about what to do (based on their response to your question). But this presence of mind isn't possible when you can't accept your feelings/emotions and they run wild as a result.

One common misapplication of Ti is the tendency to jump to illogical conclusions or make up illogical stories about what is motivating people's negative behavior, all the while believing that you're being completely logical. It's a destructive way to deal with negative or disharmonious feelings. Once the false narrative infects your mind, you can't help but perceive the person as attacking you, even when they're not. This misuse of Ti is a major impediment to relationship building.

The problem with victim mentality is that you are hyperfocused on your perspective only, so you only have half the picture, which means making ill-informed decisions. If you are prone to Ti loop, you need to get to the bottom of why you're so quick to position yourself in the passive position of victim. A healthy relationship should be an equal partnership based on trust, which means that you should always try to 1) give people the benefit of the doubt, and 2) gather the facts of the situation before drawing a conclusion about what they intended or what kind of character they are.

If the fact of the matter is that the person really doesn't care about your feelings, then you know not to seek validation from them, and perhaps distance from them for your own good. Don't play around in toxic or abusive relationships. If the fact of the matter is that your perception of the situation doesn't match up with what they intended to say/do, then it's up to you to straighten out the situation in your mind before proceeding.

Trust your feelings, validate your feelings, but don't act blindly on them (i.e. without fully grasping what's happening with the other person). Figure out why exactly you're feeling what you're feeling, then take it up with the person in a way that addresses the root of the problem and in a way that doesn't immediately put them on the defensive. Conflict is sometimes unavoidable, but being more skilled at communicating your concerns will certainly reduce the amount of pain required to reach a resolution.

[bowiebond]

All superheroes are neurodivergent, and I refuse to believe otherwises. In fact, I will list some of the Marvel heroes I headcanon as ND

Scott Lang: ADHD. He jumps from fixation to fixation, his reoccurring hyperfixation being magic, he speaks out of turn and usually off topic to whatever is currently going on, has poor time management and is impulsive. He also had a strong moral code and will do what he feels is best, ie stealing from the rich. Luis and him get along so well because they’re brains are wired similarly, I’m just saying 👀

Tony Stark: ADHD/AUSTISM. This one is just as obvious as Scott. His special interest is science, he has poor social skills outside of what he’s adopted from others (masking in the form of sunglasses and a celebrity attitude), he doesn’t get social cues, is abrupt and interrupts others when hyperfocused and is know to be very impulsive. He has emotional outbursts when overwhelmed/overstimulated (though he deals with understimulation a lot too IMO), not good with empathising but is shown he can sympathise with others and even show them compassion if he’s close to them. Again, strong sense of justice that fits his own definition (deciding that he should be held responsible for his mistakes in making weapons, Ultron and Sokovia, etc).

Steve Rogers: AUTISM. Strong sense of justice, emotional outbursts, stretchy fabric/layers to avoid oversensitivity 👀, special interests were art and maybe even war/fighting, hard time making friends growing up, relates to others with his own stories when comforting people because that’s the only way he knows how, when he’s not interested in a task he will just leave without justifying it (ie the science exbo) which makes him appear arrogant (and Bucky seems used to Steve just randomly wandering off, probably cause Steve’s done it all throughout their friendship).

Bucky Barnes: ADHD. Poor time management, oversharing, bad with tones (his own and others), always seems confused because he’s almost never paying attention to a situation but instead is instead three topics ahead in his own mind, his hyperfixation in the 40’s in fantasy novels and science (specially mechanics) and he regains those fixations post-HYDRA but catching up on modern day fantasy media & boat mechanics. Makes notes of everything so he doesn’t forget anything, makes impulsive decisions all the time (freeing Zemo, asking Wakanda for new wings, moving in with Sam, etc) and has a (un)healthy dose of rejection sensitivity dysphoria.

Sam Wilson: AUTISM. Sam is the ultimate masker but this man has ASD and no one can tell me otherwise. He hates changes to his routine without his consent (ie unable to get rid of the boat, jogs every morning, etc), his special interest is technical engineering (his wings & Redwing), he often jokes at inappropriate times & refuses to apologise unless he feels he was in the wrong. Strong sense of justice, emotionally shuts down when stressed, has many casual friends but very few close friends because he finds it hard to connect with people (he connects with Nat, Steve & Bucky cause they’re all ND, duh).

Natasha Romanoff: AUTISM. Growing up in the red room forced her to be an expert at masking, but whenever she doesn’t seem to be acting ‘appropriately’, she’s shown to be uncaring of social cues, burns out easily, and thrives off routine. Her special interest was probably ballet for a long time before it was ruined for her. She wears tight clothes because she doesn’t like baggy outfits that will brush against her when she’s not expecting it and keeps her hair red because it’s her one constant that makes her feel comfortable and gives her something to focus on when she’s overwhelmed.

Peter Parker: ADHD/AUTISM. Do I really need to explain this one? I feel it’s overly on the nose. Hyperactive, special interest is spiderman, hyperfixation is science and pop culture, socially awkward and talks a little too fast for everyone else to catch up with. He’s the ADHD/ASD combo that slots right in under the wing of Tony.

James Rhodes: AUTISM. Come on. Come on. I just,,, he’s best friends with Tony Stark. He’s wanted to be in the Air Force since he was a kid, he went to MIT and has a Masters in the science of Aerospace Engineering. He’s the voice of reason and always thinks of the obvious conclusions without thought to the moral implications (ie killing baby Thanos) or the emotional process of others (ie Steve crashing into the ocean instead of jumping out of the plane). He’s stubborn and rarely yields to others opinions, even if it puts him under social scrutiny. He spends months looking for Tony when most would assume he was dead (and Rhodey has been shown to be very rational and level headed in everything else) because, honestly, I think Tony is his favourite person.

Bruce Banner: AUTISM. Bad with socialising, off in his own world half the time, ahead of conversations, heavy dose of RSD, jumps to conclusions because he interrupts others, emotional outbursts, special interest in physics (though he does have six other PHDs), etc. I’m also pretty sure he had DID as a kid (Hulk was his alter).

Thor: ADHD. Impulsive, doesn’t like change, poor time management, bouts of depression & anxiety, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, interrupts others, seems dumber than he is due to having no filter from brain to mouth, comfort item is his hammer, personally I think he hyperfixates on Jane Foster because she’s the first human he’s really met which is why the eventual break up isn’t as painful as say Tony’s break with Pepper.

Peter Quill: ADHD. Look I could explain this one, but it’s just his whole vibe. The obsession with old school music and film, the impulsive behaviour, the way he interacts with others, he just gives the vibe.

DC BONUS

BATMAN: AUTISM. Special interest is bats, self isolates, doesn’t get along with others because he’s socially awkward, his mask is Bruce Wayne, lives by a strict moral code, blah blah blah HES OBVIOUSLY AUTISTIC (and so are all the robins send tweet)

Reblog with your own superhero ND headcanons!!

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Akito-Tohru; Learning from each others

Thanks for the ask, anon. There are a lot of things they could teach each others.

For example;

Tohru shows toxic positivity with her behavours and the way she thinks.

Toxic positivity is the assumption, either by one’s self or others, that despite a person’s emotional pain or difficult situation, they should only have a positive mindset. - Dr. Jaime Zuckermane

Hyperfocusing on positivity

Pushing away negative emotions.

Classifying certain emotions as bad and certain ones as good.

Not allow yourself to feel "bad" emotions.

Believing the right mindset can cure physical/mental illnesses or disorders.

Hiding your negative emotions.

Feeling guilty when you have negative emotions.

Dismissing other people's negative emotions and thinking they just need to be more positive.

Ignoring problems in hopes they go away. (Source)

She tends to see certain negative emotions or "self centered" emotions as ugly, she will always ignore negative events and focus on positive ones etc etc.

And here's the thing;

Akito is the face of Tohru that she doesnt want to face with herself.  The most obvious moment when Tohru mentions that she would do anything to feel secure and Tohru feels this side of herself, she sees it as ugly. The "ugly" side Tohru wants to ignore is Akito. Their desire to hold people close. Tohru doesnt specifically think that she would do things Akito did but she understand that she could end up that way.

With reaching out to Akito, she embrace her side she considered "ugly".  Being with Akito and her friendship can always reminds Tohru that, she can overcome her toxic positivity.

With Akito, despite not actually being man but as girl who was raised as boy, she shows toxic masculinity.

Idea that men need to act tough and avoid showing all emotions can be harmful to their mental health and can have serious consequences for society, which is how it became known as “toxic masculinity.”

Toughness: This is the notion that men should be physically strong, emotionally callous, and behaviorally aggressive.

Antifeminity: This involves the idea that men should reject anything that is considered to be feminine, such as showing emotion or accepting help.

Power: This is the assumption that men must work toward obtaining power and status (social and financial) so they can gain the respect of others.

(Source)

She always feels shame by crying, feeling weak, she hates that side of herself. Even Tohru explains word to word that Akito always had to look ‘strong’ cause of her position.

But remember the time Tohru said Akito looked so pure when she cried, like the side Akito consider as bad is the Tohru felt for. That its okay to cry, being vulnerable, being weak. And this is really important for someone like Akito.

The reason Tohru displays toxic positivity is also result of how society expected girls to act. Always positive, cheerfull, well behaved. And unfortunately, this side of Tohru wasnt really adressed enough in story. The reason Akito displays toxic masculinity is because how society expected boys (and people who are seen as very important) to act. That they should be strong, never cry. 

(Another information; Usually males s biggest fear is feeling shame and female s biggest fear is loosing connections. Mentioned in here by cinema therapist.) And its interesting that Akito displays both fear since she plays both role in a way. Characters like Kyo also displays toxic masculinity while other girls like Tohru, Rin's biggest fear is loosing connections.)

The most obvious similarity that brings Akito and Tohru together is fear of abandonment. That connection with people can end and start again. I think they can accept this as best when they are together cause this acceptance will always remind of them to their friendship, fear, its a very strong bond. And it would work better than their "canon" relationships because it seems like, Tohru kinda replaced Kyoko with Kyo while Akito returns to the person she depend on the most. (I dont mind KyoRu but Akito's returning toxic relationship was horrible choice.) What i mean is AkiTohru work as better pair in canon even its not necessarely romantic.

(Pictures are from Kırmızı oda (Red Room), two characters who give different reactions to fear of abandonment).

They also both show different side of fear of abandonment. The most common two type of behavours. People pleasing with Tohru, pushing people's boundaries with Akito. Though, again unfortunately story didnt adress Tohru's way of her expressing trauma but lets not forget that in Real life, its different. Instead of ending that heroine is somehow always better than villainess of story and using their different reactions of trauma to show one of them is good, other one is bad is very harmfull because Tohru’s way of reacting her trauma was harmfull as Akito’s but story portrayed that as hardworking which is bad message for readers. I dislike this kind of ending that Tohru is always inferior to Akito, its literally shows that this manga is old and its written with old times mindset so i would like to imagine an ending that thats not the case, that they both equally good, happy together.

And another example is their idolization of their parents. Tohru with her mother. Akito with her father. Again this wasnt adressed enough in story either. Them stop idolizing their parents and growing into their own person together would be epic.

What i mentioned in this post is how characters could've been used, we never see after the story, we dont know whats actually happenning with them  and its a shame that it doesnt happen. In anyway, you see that there are a lot of things Akito and Tohru could learn from each others. Those were just a few examples of it. And i really wanted to talk about toxic positivity and toxic masculinity.

If you want to see another example of toxic positivity, i recommend you to watch ‘Inside Out’.

[lowsurvivalarchived]

psychology + mental health deep dive !

general mental health related trigger warnings apply.  feel free to include more or exclude those facts / test results that take too much time or don’t apply, you can check out this list for more personality-related quizzes to include!

QUICK FACTS ,

diagnoses:   ptsd ,   paranoia ,   depression . triggers:  loud  noises  such  as  thunder  or  car  horns  after  yamatai ,   mentions  of  people  telling  her  certain  things  are  her  fault . positive coping skills:   painting ,   meditation ,   being  around  friends ,   reading . negative coping skills:   avoidance ,   inadequate  sleep  management ,   catastrophizing ,   self-sabotage ,   under-eating ,   defensiveness ,   hyperfocusing . attachment style:   anxious . love language:   physical  touch . myers briggs / mbti:    INFP-T .

HISTORY EXPLORATION ,

are their diagnoses formal ( via a doctor, therapist, etc. ) or informal ( self diagnosis, a hunch, unrealized, etc. )     diagnosed  via  therapist  after  being  forced  to  seek  help .

have they ever been treated / medicated?     has  been  given  anti-depressants  /   anti-anxiety  medication .

have they ever been hospitalized or treated on an inpatient basis?   no .

how old were they when they first started experiencing / realizing symptoms?   symptoms  of  depression  started  before  her  father’s  ‘ assassination ’  and  after .   at  twenty-one  she  began  to  experience  the  rest  of  her  symptoms  relating  to  yamatai  and  after .

do they have a family history of mental illness?   her  father ,   undiagnosed .

how was mental health handled / discussed in the family / community?    it  wasn’t  addressed  as  a  child  and  she  sought  avoidance  of  the  topic  when  she  got  older  until  her  uncle  forced  her  to  seek  medical  help .

what are their thoughts on mental health / their diagnosis?   she  has  come  to  accept  her  diagnoses ,   but  often  avoids  the  topic  because  she  doesn’t  want  to  remember  the  bad  memories .

in what ways has their diagnosis shaped their life or experiences?  it  caused  her  to  grow  up  introvertedly ,   having  trouble  associating  with  others ,   and  avoiding  certain  situations .

SYMPTOMS: note that all of the below are, on their own, normative and typical aspects of human functioning. they become “symptoms” when they last longer than “normal” or when they pose a significant impact on someone’s life / functioning.

BOLD  all that are present,  ITALICIZE  those that are resolved or in the history.

depression.    anxiety.    panic attacks.    dissociation.    derealization.    depersonalization.    (  passive  )  suicidal ideation.    self harm.    homicidal ideation.    psychosis.    auditory hallucinations.    visual hallucinations.    delusions.    mania.    hypomania.    racing thoughts.    hyperactivity.    attention difficulty.    flashbacks.    nightmares.    hyperarousal.    hypoarousal.    hypersexuality.    hyposexuality.    psychopathy.   risky behavior.    catatonia.    somatic / bodily concerns.    mutism.    phobia.    agoraphobia.    hoarding.    obsessions.    compulsions.    body dysmorphia.    hair picking.    skin picking.     amnesia.    illness anxiety / hypochondria.    sensory loss.    speech difficulty.    comprehension difficulty.    communication difficulty.    tics.    defiant behavior.    irritable mood.    vindictiveness.     aggression.    pyromania.    kleptomania.    paranoia.    attention seeking.    narcissism.    avoidance.    dependency.    pica.    rumination.    food restriction.    food binging.    purging.    soiling the bed.    insomnia.    fatigue.    sexual dysfunction.    delirium.    developmental delays.

explanations / elaborations on any of the above symptoms:

her  self-harm  has  always  been  shown  as  self-sabotaging  behaviors ,   neglecting  her  needs ,   putting  herself  in  harm’s  way  on  purpose .   her  passive  suicidal  ideation  revolves  around  wanting  death  to  claim  her ,   but  not  acting  on  it  by  her  own  hand   —   rather  hoping  to  die  via  her  line  of  work .

tagged by:  @seesgood​  my  mommy  <3 tagging:   @meilancolie​ .   IDK WHO TO TAG so take it.

[swordlesbean]

rewatching the first 3 eps is kinda frustrating at how much Adora does NOT think about Catra covering for her not even once while she's playing around in beds, plays pinata, eats good food etc, she's gone for days and like Catra says later didn't even think she was taking the fall for her damn. and didn't even spare a glance at Catra while celebrating with her new driends at selinas

This is actually something I've wanted to talk about for a long time, so thanks for giving me an excuse to finally do it! I think when people are annoyed with Adora for supposedly not thinking about Catra in early s1, they aren't giving full consideration to Adora's perspective during that time period. She's, uh... dealing with a lot, to say the least. There's been a fair amount of analysis about Catra's perspective during this time, but not nearly as much about Adora's. I will try to remedy that here, in my typically long-winded way.

Let's take it from the beginning. Adora touches a mysterious sword in the woods that gives her visions and makes her black out. She’s still having these visions and hearing voices when she’s back home, so she sneaks out at night to find the sword again because she wants answers. Reasonable. She plans to be back by morning, but she asks Catra to stay behind because she doesn't want Catra getting in trouble on her behalf in case something goes wrong. Also reasonable. Boom, nothing goes according to her plan, and everything goes wrong.

Adora finds the sword, but runs into Rebellion soldiers. She tries to fight them for the sword, but when she touches it, she has another vision and blacks out again. She wakes up with her hands tied, a prisoner. She bides her time instead of trying to escape because she still wants the sword. During this time, she's told information that conflicts with what she knows about the Horde, and oh yeah, she somehow randomly transforms into an 8-foot-tall legendary warrior princess. Then she and her captors get chased by a giant spider to an abandoned temple, which she’s able to open because she can apparently read a long-dead language, but then they’re trapped in the ruins.

Once they get out, she’s no longer being held captive, so she can now go back to the Horde. But she needs answers and decides to go to Bright Moon so someone can give her an explanation for all this crazy shit happening to her. At this point, is she thinking about Catra and what might be happening back home? No. But frankly, there is a lot on her plate! Like, life changing stuff. She can turn into a princess! But princesses are evil and the enemy! But this angry sparkly princess and nice archer guy are saying the Horde are actually the bad guys? What is going on? What is she?

Adora still intends to go back to the Horde, but she feels she can't do that until she gets more intel about what happening to her and what it means. She’s always wanted to know more about where she came from. This may be her only chance. And even though her overprotective streak sometimes makes Catra think she feels otherwise, Adora absolutely believes in Catra and knows she's smart and resourceful and can handle herself, so it doesn't occur to Adora that there's reason to worry.

Then Thaymor happens. They stop there for transportation, but Bow insists they stay for the party because he realizes Adora's life has been utterly depressing, and he wants her to experience something nice. I think it's pretty harsh to hold it against Adora that she gets excited and awed and distracted by encountering a party and eating good food for the very first time in her life ever. Can the girl please be allowed to live a little? Like, she's an anxious, guilt-ridden, duty-burdened mess 90% of the time, so let's maybe not blame her for having a good time for once.

That good time is pretty quickly ruined anyway. Reality ensues. The Horde ensues. Catra ensues. But even as Thaymor is attacked, Adora thinks it's a mistake. It's bad intel; she just has to explain, and the Horde will stop. It's only when she comes face to face with Catra that she understands the truth about the Horde and makes her decision to leave. Let’s be clear on this: Adora doesn't just leave the Horde without any consideration for Catra. Catra isn’t an afterthought here, she is literally standing right in front of Adora when Adora makes her decision.

Thaymor from Adora's perspective is finding out that her whole life has been a lie and that she doesn't know her best friend as well as she thought. What Adora sees is Catra being part of an attack on defenseless people and seeming to have zero concern or regret about it. What she perceives is Catra refusing to join the good guys and choosing to remain part of a lying, destructive army despite the truth of a burning village in front of them. What she feels is Catra disregarding her decision to leave and tasing her in the back as she tries to walk away.

It's important to remember that in this moment, Adora feels betrayed by Catra as much as Catra feels betrayed by Adora. People always talk about Adora breaking their promise by choosing to leave, but Catra breaks it too by choosing to stay. They both make decisions that hurt the other, and they both feel abandoned.

So that's what Adora is carrying with her in regards to Catra in early s1. She's internalized this betrayal, these hurt feelings, but she's also really trying not to let herself feel any of it. Not just because it hurts, but because it’s what she’s been taught to do. She’s well-practiced in denying herself, denying her pain and her wants and needs. This trait of hers is given specific attention in s5, but it's a necessary lens to view Adora through in every season. She won't ever put herself and her feelings first. She doesn't think she's allowed to be weak, to feel hurt and express that hurt, not when more important things are at stake. Shadow Weaver always said her feelings for Catra were a problem, and for the first time, Adora agrees, so she tries not to feel them.

She can also avoid thinking about Catra because she has so much to distract her. Catra is still in the Horde, surrounded by reminders of Adora, so it's impossible for her not to think of Adora. But Adora's situation is different. She's in a new environment, suddenly overwhelmed by a huge destiny and all these new experiences and stimuli and social dynamics she has never experienced in her life. So she puts all of her attention into learning the rules and expectations of this new life. She hyperfocuses on her duty as She-Ra.

That doesn't mean there aren't reminders of the past. Adora doesn't feel comfortable sleeping alone, and the clear implication is that she can't sleep without Catra. She isn't "playing around in beds," she just has no idea what to make of a soft bed because she's used to austere conditions. And she's certainly not able to forget what the Horde represents to the people she's now living with. She gets run out of Bright Moon because of the Horde symbol on her back, and she receives a thinly veiled threat from Angella in front of Micah's portrait. She doesn't feel secure in her place in the Rebellion, so she's definitely not going to talk about missing anything or anyone from the Horde, however much of it she actually lets herself feel.

Salineas is the first time Adora encounters Catra after Thaymor, and the wounds from that confrontation are still fresh. She asked Catra to come with her then, but all it got her was a taser to the back, so she's not feeling too charitable towards Catra and isn't keen on reaching out again. She's completely in She-Ra duty mode, trying to restore the Sea Gate to protect the kingdom from the Horde. But then, Catra isn't making real efforts to try and bridge the gap between them either. In fact, from Adora’s perspective, she appears to be perfectly happy widening it. 

While Adora is fixing the gate, she’s getting hit with electric feedback and also can't risk moving or fighting back, but that doesn’t stop Catra from lashing out at her. Catra mocks, scratches, punches. Even when she softens up a bit, she talks like Adora is just going through a phase. She's trying to convince Adora to come back to the Horde, but in the same way Adora wasn’t thinking about what Catra might face by covering for her while she was away, Catra’s not thinking about what it would actually mean for Adora to come back, the terrible consequences she would face as a defector.

Adora knows she can’t go back to the Horde, not just because of her morals, but also because it’s too late to do so without something bad happening to her. So she wonders, if Catra cares about her, why would she want to bring her back to that? If Catra cares about her, why won’t she just leave the Horde and come with Adora? Adora can't see into Catra's mind, so she doesn't know the underlying motivations and feelings driving her behavior. And Adora’s never really had the "you hurt me, so I'll hurt you back" impulse, so she’s more inclined to read Catra's aggressive actions towards her as a sign that Catra maybe doesn’t care about her as much as she once thought.

After Salineas, things continue to heat up between them during Princess Prom. This time Adora is highly confrontational towards Catra. She fully believes Catra is planning something bad, and she's absolutely right, though she still tries to save Catra's life when they fall off the cliff. That act doesn't seem to matter to Catra, and she ups the ante and hurts Adora worse then ever by taking Glimmer and Bow as hostages. 

Adora finally softens towards Catra when Catra returns the sword and let's her and Glimmer escape the Fight Zone. Up until that moment, Adora isn't sure that Catra still cares, but this is confirmation for her. The next time they meet, Adora makes a real effort to reach out, and she again asks Catra to leave the Horde. And they actually do start reconnecting a little, until Light Hope plays on Catra's insecurities with those memory simulations, in an attempt to drive them apart and get Adora to let go of Catra in the same way Shadow Weaver always wanted her to. 

And it does successfully drive them further apart and is the true beginning of Catra’s descent into villainous self-destruction and reality-destroying levels of resentment towards Adora. But what it doesn’t do is get Adora to let go of Catra. Because it doesn't matter what Light Hope and Shadow Weaver and even Catra say or do, Adora never can let go. She does eventually let go of the idea that she's the one responsible for Catra's actions, and she puts up boundaries and becomes harder towards Catra. But she never truly gives up on her or stops caring about her, even when Catra is at her most destructive and spiteful and personally hurtful towards Adora. 

But then, Adora letting go of her feelings for Catra wasn't ever the solution anyway. Because She-Ra's power comes from love, and Catra is the first person Adora loved, and the person she loves the most deeply. So Adora as She-Ra is at her most powerful when she's loving Catra and doing it without conflict, either between the two of them or within Adora herself.

[buraibanzai]

Disorderly and Disordered

Burai has issues LET'S GO

Autism

Diagnosed about a year before joining U.A.

Wears his hair like that to avoid eye contact and wears a mask outside of school so be doesn't have to think about his facial expressions

Has trouble regulating his volume and controlling his intonation

Bad at facial recognition (literally mistook a random stranger for his dad once)

Easily overwhelmed by loud noises and bright lights but has learnt to cope

Can't handle certain flavours, textures and smells

Doesn't experience empathy in the typical way but still cares a lot about people

A bit gullible and likely to believe something someone says without thinking about it

Takes things more literally but still understands things like metaphors and sarcasm

Carries a comfort plushie in his bag (small round seal)

ADHD

Diagnosed during first year of U.A. because Sato saw him and was like "how has no one noticed this before"

Spaces out if left alone too long and daydreams constantly

Being bored or understimulated can be physically painful

Deals with brainfog a lot that makes it hard to focus or read long texts

Easily distracted, hates homework and studying

Both these tasks are usually completed the night before they're due or right before a test

Both

Can't sit still to save his life

Stims include rocking in his seat, rolling his wrists, flexing his fingers, bouncing his leg or tapping the desk

Frequent chewer of things that should not be chewed, including pens and game controllers

Needs specific instructions for certain tasks or won't be able to start

Bad at auditory processing and frequently asks people to repeat themselves

Extremely distressed when confused or when he misunderstands a situation

Doesn't know when to jump into conversations and switches topic often

Hyperfocuses and hyperfixates a lot, loves infodumping about special interests

Is trying his best!

If you have any questions I'd be happy to answer!