#hsp advice

[orkbutch]

The city in question is New York. I am fairly feminine and just graduated college, which on fetlife seems to mean “free for all.” Apparently, creepy straight guys looking for female subs do not care if I’ve pasted the word “LESBIAN” everywhere!

There’s so much STUFF going on in this city, which is great, but I don’t know a single soul outside of work and it’s a smidge overwhelming lol.

Hence why I’m bothering innocent people on tumblr.

Thank you so much for trying to point me in the right direction!

OH, BABE you're in NEW YORK??? You can find queer kink. You can find so much of it, I'm sure of it. That is fair that its overwhelming. If you're looking to make friends in a bdsm scene and you have some expendable income, I would absolutely look into getting classes in your area! Classes are obviously always good to do, always good to be upping your knowledge and experience, but they also provide you a great place to meet other kinsters and talk to whoever is leading the class to get some leads on locations, events, ect! Its a structured environment where asking questions and advice is already expected. And again, potentially a place to meet people! Finding classes can be done lots of ways. Fetlife again, but also event ticket sites, just googling if you have a specific kind of play in mind (eg. rope, impact, electro stim), and they'll usually flag somewhere on the event if they're queer run/friendly!

[studentbyday]

how to survive a full course load in uni as a highly-sensitive person

wanted to try this kind of "advice" post / letter to past me as a premed student who also happens to be an HSP that sometimes struggles to regulate her emotions and is frequently overwhelmed by little things... this is a combo of things i'm glad i did in uni and what hindsight tells me i should've done... i hope that if any of this sounds relevant to you, whether you feel like you're an HSP or not, that you're able to take something useful away from it. and please feel free to reblog with your own tips/advice if you feel i missed something here! i'm just a sample size of 1.

part 1:

If you felt overwhelmed by your course load in high school, for the love of God, don't take the maximum (or “recommended”, which is the maximum at my uni) course load in your first year just to “graduate on time.” Take enough courses each semester that you feel the tingles of a challenge, but don't go overboard. You must feel the “tingles” so that you will be forced to find ways to adapt (i, at least, find it very diffcult to make myself get out of my comfort zone unless given no other option), but don't go to the extreme of taking on too much that you're silent screaming in panic more than you're getting things done. If you're not sure how many courses to enroll in, enroll in as many as you want, and if you find it too much, you can drop as many as you need to by the appropriate deadlines. Also, you may feel resistance to “lowering your standards” as you switch up your study methods to account for the much greater amount of material you need to cover, especially if you're an HSP who struggles with perfectionism, but just stick with it for a little while. You're so much more than a number or letter or percentage mark on an assignment or test, and you may find you're still able to consistently achieve all that you had wanted to in the academic realm. Perhaps you'll even find you're able to complete your work with greater calm and ease if you stick with it long enough. i say this as an hsp who still gets stressed by school but now has enough confidence to more easily calm myself down because i know i can still make it with imperfect study methods and because of that, i can do things with greater ease and apparently get on the dean's list not once but freakin’ twice during my degree?!?!?! i just got the email this week! and whaaaaaaa

If you followed tip #1, try slowly increasing the number of courses you take per semester. You're capable of more than you think. Life will throw you so many more curveballs and responsibilities as you get on, and the overwhelm may be demoralizing but you were meant to live. So, the earlier you train yourself to stop freaking out about each addition to your plate*, the easier it will be and the more confident in yourself you'll feel. In first year, I was overwhelmed with 3 courses per semester, and so in second year, I dropped to 2 and found it to be too little. In third year, I did 3 per semester and found it to be just right. Now, I'm doing 4 per semester and it's like first year all over again except I'm handling a fuller plate. And experimenting with taking 4 courses per semester and finding it's not the death sentence I thought it would be is giving me the confidence I need to take 5 courses per semester next year, my final year. ☺️ Ideally, I would've stuck with 3 in my second year and started on 4 in my third year, so I could even graduate sooner, but still, that's growth right there! And if some rando on the internet can do it, you can too! (* okay, you might not stop freaking out but you will be able to calm yourself down faster the more you practice, which is such a big ace for anyone, hsp or not!)

Please don't feel pressured to do all the social things immediately like joining all the clubs and societies and and high-energy social gatherings/parties. Please also don't feel guilty or blame yourself for not engaging in any or all of these, especially if you feel like you aren't living the “uni life” you want. You'll be here for what, 2, 3, or more years? That's a ton of time! Gradually add the extracurriculars as you feel ready (as in your academic life doesn't feel like a game of hot potato) and only as you feel so called to it that you're sure you're gonna regret it someday if you don't take the chance.

On a related note, don't feel like you have to do everything all at once. Some people take the maximum course load and somehow excel in a bunch of extracurricular activities at the same time while functioning on 5-7 hours of sleep. If that's not you, don't sweat it. Maybe you can adjust your schedule so that in one semester you focus more on academics and in the next, you focus more on the extracurriculars you need to feed your soul and boost your resumé.

SELF-CARE IS SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN (some) PEOPLE GIVE IT CREDIT FOR — DON'T YOU DARE DROP SELF-CARE IN FAVOR OF “PRODUCTIVITY.” (tbh i still struggle with this, BUT!) Ignore all the people who brag about how little sleep they got the night before the exam. Ignore all the people who brag about not having time to take care of their health in favor of completing another assignment or participating in some coveted extracurricular. Make an exercise plan for the kind of workout that rejuvenates you and follow through on it (except when too ill and tired...you'll know when you need to take a rest day, so listen to your body), whether it's yoga, dance, HIIT, slow pilates, weights, or whatever! And sleep a tonnnn. Sleep earlier than you feel you "should" (given that uni students seem to love to keep odd hours...and that habit may rub off on you as it did on me). Give yourself at least an hour to wind down from all the stimulants of the day (tbh sometimes i need 2 or more hours to finally feel relaxed enough after a long day)... don't subject yourself to the stimulant of your phone (if you happen to see this during your wind-down time, take this as your signal to GET THE FRICK OFF THE PHONE 😂). Take naps or just lie down and relax in bed as needed, especially if you feel you're fighting the flu or covid or whatnot. Take the time to have a nice, hot (or cold, depending on your personal preference 😅) shower or a simple, relaxing bath. Meditate when you need some quiet time, maybe try it in the dark if you feel you just really need to soothe your senses. Journal. Every. Day. At least for me, even if I feel my thoughts are mundane, somehow it helps keep me sane, especially when I have no one to talk to because everyone else around me is busy... (If even for one week I neglect basic self-care, I feel physically terrible which makes me feel mentally terrible and then I'm of no use to myself or anyone else! It isn't selfish or narcissistic and it definitely doesn't have to be expensive. Self-care really works wonders for stress levels and sustainable functioning, sometimes in really subtle ways.)

part 2: (did not know about tumblr's character limit for a single block. that's the only reason this second part exists otherwise it would all be in the same list lol)

When on the verge of panic-crying in defeat but you still need to push through or miss important deadlines, try studying to calming music/ambiences that are still stimulating enough to occupy the frazzled part of your brain that keeps you from functioning 😅 I suppose it's like a lullaby except for studying... 😅 One that worked for me last night was this one and a favorite since my high school days was this one. (What Elaine Aron said about water being really calming seems to be true for some reason and I have no idea why it works so well but it does so I'm rollin’ with it.)

Find small, low-effort creative outlets to release the restless energy that comes from creative needs neglected. Especially useful if you feel stuck in “left-brain” activities for most of the day and don't have much energy for your preferred creative outlets that ask more of you (also yes ik the whole left brain/right brain thing is a myth but idk how to concisely describe the bodily feeling bc it does feels like different parts of my brain are used for logical vs creative activities lol). I like to make wallpapers on Canva using the too many pics I download from the internet (istg I've probably changed my wallpaper at least once for every week since the start of term lol) and I guess I also make ugly comics when the mood strikes 😂

Take frequent, extended breaks from social media. This probably doesn't apply to only HSPs but I find that on the days I scroll a lot, create content for, or consume a lot of social media content in addition to all the things that go on in my real world, I get extra frazzled and tired. I think because of the depth of processing that comes with being HSP, we need to be extra mindful of where we put our energy and attention. Some of the mental health benefits I wasn't sure were true for me before I did a social media detox: at least for me, the peace and clarity of mind I get from it is unmatched! Imagine a world with less FOMO/toxic comparison, less guilt resulting from that, less of feeling like you're just very unaesthetic and dull irl, less guilt resulting from that, less time wasted, less guilt resulting from that. Less extraneous emotional clouding -> better judgment. Such a weight off just by hitting “sign out.”

Clean your workspace either before you study or after you study to have a clear mind. (Yeah, that's another a cliché but we HSPs tend to be more affected by our physical environments and we just gotta accept that and so keeping clean and, for me at least, minimalist, does wonders for my peace of mind 😊)

Don't be afraid to ask for help. You might feel like since you're a legal adult, you should be able to do everything by yourself all the time and not have to bother anyone. But the wise who have been legal adults for ages know that they can't do it all alone. So: do you need an extension on an assignment? Do you need help balancing your chores and schoolwork? Ask for help when you need it! It is not a sign of failure.

If you can, it might help to find yourself an inanimate study buddy 🧸 if you feel you need extra cozy/calming chemicals in your brain while you study 😅

Last but not least, if you have trouble regulating your emotions and fall into the pessimistic trap like I do sometimes, this may help:

If you would like a wallpaper version, here are two for different phone sizes lol:

[aesethewitch]

Free Tarot Friday Rules

Last updated November 7, 2024: Added politics to my list of readings I won't do. You can also find the list over on my sweet new website under the Commissions nav link.

On Fridays, I offer free one-card tarot readings on Tumblr! This section covers guidelines for submitting a free reading request. (Note: Guidelines for paid readings are included on the full order page over on Ko-Fi, since they differ from listing to listing.)

General Guidelines:

Send an ask with your question or goal for the reading to my Tumblr askbox. Be as clear as you can with your question, or if you prefer, you can ask for a general reading. Be mindful of the things I won't do, listed below. In general, asks violating rules will not be answered.

Include your initial(s) and the initial(s) of anyone else involved. Nothing else is necessary.

No minors. Sorry!

Include your pronouns and the pronouns of anyone else involved. This is so that I know how to phrase my reading respectfully. If you don't, I'll default to they/them.

I will answer your ask privately if you ask. If you don't request to be answered privately, the ask will be published to my blog. Note that to answer an ask privately, you can't send it anonymously. Anonymous asks with a request to be answered privately will be deleted, since I can't answer them without publishing to my blog.

Be respectful. Only ask one question for Free Tarot Friday, follow the rules, and don't be an asshole. Please also don't trauma dump in my inbox. Remember that I'm a whole person and that I'm not your therapist. Don't be that parasocial asshole who makes me turn anonymous asks off.

Things I Won't Do Readings About:

Readings about health or legal issues. Trust me, you should talk to a professional about these things. This includes mental health! General advice like "What can I do this season to keep my spirits up?" is okay. "When will I get better?" is not.

Readings about politics. I'd rather this space be for personal growth and outlooks.

Yes/No questions, especially ones about love. Instead of "Will I fall in love?" or "Will my situation improve?", try asking "What do I need to know about my love life?" or "How can I improve my situation?" You'll get better answers that way. I can't guarantee a clear yes or no. I'll usually try to rework a yes/no question into a more open-ended question. If I can't, I'll have to reject it.

Sexually explicit readings, including readings about first times, future sex lives, etc.

Future spouse/partner readings, in general. Nothing about where a future spouse is from, appearance, when you'll meet, etc. General love readings or readings about your future with a particular person are typically fine.

Readings on past lives, "twin flames," "soul mates," and related concepts. I won't do readings relating to being an empath, HSP, starseed, indigo child, or other similar concepts, either.

Readings on "reality shifting" or Law of Attraction/Assumption related topics. I think reality shifting is bullshit to be quite honest! And LoA is full of toxic nonsense; I don't want to touch it.

Anything that constitutes "mind reading." This includes what people think about you, what people are saying about you, and similar questions.

Readings about celebrities, period. Especially ones that involve celebrities falling in love with you or someone else, but nothing about drama or scandals, either.

Readings on behalf of other people. For example, "What should my friend do about this situation?" or "Will my sibling fall in love?" or "How does x person feel about y person?" Questions about how you could help your friend get through their situation or what support they need are fine.

More than one card and/or one question at once for free. (This comes with very few exceptions.) If your question is too complex for a single card draw, I'll let you know so you can narrow it down or ask another question. Even if it's a free reading, I want you to get something worthwhile out of it. Half-assing an answer isn't fun for either of us.

Keep in mind, I have the right to refuse to do any reading for any reason. Even if something isn't explicitly listed here, if I'm not comfortable with a question's content, if you're rude, or if I just don't want to answer a given question for some reason, I'm allowed to refuse. For free tarot days, I'll usually offer to let you send a new ask in cases where something isn't explicitly disallowed. Others will just be deleted.

For paid readings, I will contact you to talk about the content of the question and negotiate from there. If you purchase a reading and decide you no longer want one after I reject a question for whatever reason, I'll refund you. But I'd rather you read through these rules and ask ahead of time if you're not sure about something, since I'll have to eat the payment processing fees for any refunds, and that sucks.

[writingforstraykids]

I'm sorry for the rant, but a person who had to look up what being an HSP means when I told them (no shame for that, but you're hardly an expert) now saying, "Uh, I don't think you are if you don't know what's going on with me." is so fundamentally wrong and pissed me off for a sec.

Yes, I am HSP (highly sensitive person), and no, there's no direct diagnosis or any meds for it, which doesn't make it any less valid. Basically, everyone has a filter for all the sounds, smells, visual impacts, and so on, so you don't get overwhelmed by all that smacking you right in the face. I, as an HSP, also have a filter, but mine is letting way more through. Someone clicking their pen in class can take my whole focus from the lecture and redirect it at that single sound. Sometimes, it'll take me a few minutes to consciously realize where that sound is coming from, and then my brain's like, "Well done, girl, it's a pen, now we'll stay here for a while."

Yes, I do easily sense when people are upset or their mood is changing. I can come into a room and feel my own mood getting dragged down by all the negativity in it. So I have two options: Go with it or try to cope with it. I have learned ways to do the second; if you need any tips/insights, feel free to ask me; I'm happy to help.

BUT that doesn't mean I can read your mind. That doesn't mean I notice you're in a bad mood and know immediately why tf that's the case. And most importantly, it doesn't mean I'll make myself vulnerable and expose myself to every damn thing that goes wrong in your life. I love to listen, I love to try and give you advice or spend comfort...but I won't place myself in situations that make me more fucked up than you. I'm no help, then. If you need to talk or need help, just fucking say so instead of blaming me for not knowing the script to your life??

Also for anyone who's curious, this site sums it up pretty well

[iwannarunawayandbeapirate]

hi.

so i did a test to see if i'm autistic a couple of months ago, like an official diagnosis, and when the results came in i was told that i'm not autistic but a highly sensitive person (hsp).

i do not feel very comfortable with that label because i do not experience many of the symptoms (e.g. feeling other peoples' "energy", feeling the same emotions as them, avoiding violence in movies/tv) and i feel like my struggles aren't properly acknowledged. additionally, i have found while looking into the topic that many sources associate hsp with high iqs and "gifted" people, which i am just personally uncomfortable with. i also don't like the way many hsp posts are phrased, because they paint it as a gift and don't really talk about the problems and struggles that come with it.

i want to use a label that more accurately describes my experience, but i'm reluctant to self-diagnose as autistic because i have been told by professionals that i'm not. i absolutely support other self-diagnosed autistic people, but to be honest, i'm just too scared personally that i might be wrong. and also that nobody irl would believe me.

today i found out that there is another problem regarding the term "hsp": hsp and autistic people share many traits. most people who say that there is a difference between the two describe the difference between hsp and autistic people like "it's bad to be autistic and being a hsp is entirely different and even though there are so many shared traits hsp are inherently superior because they're more empathic". they also use outdated definitions of autism to make these distinctions.

i don't think it's wrong to use both the terms hsp and autistic, or just identify as hsp and not autistic. i am just talking about my personal experiences and feelings.

i am also diagnosed with adhd, so i think i might just describe myself as neurodivergent. if anyone has any advice for me, please let me know.

(also if i phrased something badly and came across as rude or insensitive in any way, please tell me!)

[sugirandom]

Trigger warnings related to Chronic Pain, Mental Health issues, dysphoria, family relationship difficulties, etc. It's an honest post and not really a happy one.

So I'm currently in the burnt-out from chronic pain cycle that I get into from time to time. I guess the fact that my chronic pain makes me feel older than I am makes me fearful for how I'll be once I'm at an age where the level of pain I have is expected/the norm. I try not to dwell on that but it is something that genuinely scares me. It's also difficult because it's become clear to me that Poppy is getting tired of hearing about my chronic pain and can get rather dismissive saying "we all have little aches and pains." It seems like in general lately when I've been upset about something her reactions are either to get really pissed off at me or to just be dismissive. She acts like it's all in my mind and while trying to shift my mindset is a good idea it also is not a magic bullet solution that will suddenly make my emotional and physical pain all better.

It seems like when I express my less than pleasant emotions it ends up pushing people away and that really bothers me. I wish I knew how I could honestly express myself without it pushing people away because when I'm at my most vulnerable emotionally is when I need support the most. And yes, I've tried expressing to her how her actions make me feel but it just seems to piss her off more and kinda makes me feel like the only way we''ll get along is if I don't express myself and that's a very toxic way to exist. So, IDK talking to my best bro helps but in terms of getting advice from a chronic pain perspective I'm considering seeking out a support group or just waiting till I can afford therapy I guess?

Yesterday we went to the mall and the bookstore and I did purchase a book on healing from trauma and one about coping as a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) which I had been labeled as in the past by psychologists. I'm hoping these books give me some good advice, I do hate feeling isolated but here's hoping that won't last long. Poppy bought an anti-inflammatory diet book as well and we will probably try that out some time soon so I'm hoping that will help as well.

Thanks for letting me vent and for those of you who have stuck around through my dark moods thank you so much. It means the world to me!

[prismaticstreams]

How to avoid the therapist trap: mutuality and balance in relationships

Have you ever struggled with feeling like a therapist? Do your friendships and dating relationships always seem to end up being one sided? It can be incredibly frustrating feeling like you’re always the listener, and people aren’t interested in what you have to share. 

This is a particularly common issue for women, who are generally expected to be the ones who provide emotional support in our culture. Both women and men tend to vent more to women, and expect empathy and compassion in response. It’s a very common problem for certain personality types as well, especially empathic people, highly sensitive people (HSPs), and introverts who tend to default to the listener role. Enneagram Type Twos tend to get stuck in “helping” roles in their relationships too.

To be honest, I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve often ended up stuck being the listener, annoyed that the other person just wanted to monologue to an audience. However, I’ve also been guilty of interrupting and taking over conversations, so it’s something I have to continue to be mindful and conscious about. I try to remember that some of my friends are more introverted and quiet, and are less likely to take up space unless I ask questions and leave room for them to speak up. This requires extra effort and intentionality.

I try to consistently keep an eye on mutuality and reciprocity in my friendships. Unless it's a relationship that is supposed to be one sided, like a defined mentor/ministry/therapy relationship, then I do watch out for things getting too unbalanced. I think it's okay if things are a bit one-sided for a season - we all go through tough times - but if it's like that permanently, I would re-evaluate things.

I used to not pay attention to this sort of thing because I thought that would get me into an unhealthy "quid pro quo" mindset, but I've actually found that keeping an eye on this from the beginning of friendships has helped me form more healthy, reciprocal connections with people. This helps curb my natural tendency to give more in relationships.

Observing this from the start means I'm less likely to get resentful and frustrated down the road, because often when a friendship starts out a little bit one-sided, the imbalance gets worse as time goes on - until I reach a breaking point. Now that I'm mindful from the start, this is much less of an issue.

I think this also helps me avoid getting into "unrequited friendships", i.e. friendships where I care and like the person a lot more than they care and like me. When I give too much to other people, I sometimes miss the fact that they actually don't really like me or value the friendship as much as I do.

Before, when I gave too much, people would be happy to receive, but I later realised they didn't truly value me or my friendship. They were just enjoying the perks of free therapy etc. Giving less can help me discover who actually likes me as a person, versus just wanting the benefits of my generosity.

For instance, on a first date or meet up with a friend, consider things like:

Do they ask you questions about yourself? 

Do they listen well (e.g. can they practice active listening skills)?

Are they able to give and receive emotional support equally? 

Can they withhold unsolicited advice when you talk about something you struggle with? 

Does the conversation feel balanced, or are you mostly just listening? 

Do they message you first, or do you always have to message them first? 

Do they suggest or plan outings, or do you always have to do it?

I generally have a rule of three when it comes to reaching out or taking initiative with new people. I'm happy to message first three times, but if they don't message first after that, it's usually best to move on. Same with asking questions - I think it's okay to ask three questions in a row, but if they don't ask any back after that or make an attempt to engage with me, then they probably just like talking about themselves.

Obviously, none of these are hard and fast rules, and it’s important to trust your gut. Sometimes I have conversations where I mostly listen, and I still really enjoy it, because the topic is really interesting or I don’t feel like talking about myself in that moment. In most cases I know that if I had something I wanted to say, the other person would listen and be supportive. People may come from a cultural or family background where asking questions is viewed as intrusive, so it’s important to consider the vibe as a whole, rather than getting bogged down in the minutiae. It’s relevant to consider the level of effort in people’s responses.

Another factor, particularly on dating apps, is that people can behave very differently when texting versus in person or on the phone/video chat. I have occasionally come across dry texters who are charismatic and a lot of fun in person, though these are probably exceptional cases. If you really like someone, I’d say give them a chance and see what happens.

In certain instances, such as the workplace or a professional context, listening can be advantageous as it allows you to gain information about the other person. This way you don’t have to reveal too much about yourself, which perhaps could be used against you. So taking on the role of the listener can actually be quite strategic in certain contexts. Knowing how to ask good questions and listen effectively can serve you well in the dating scene, so you can spot red flags much more quickly and easily.

Also, some people just prefer listening, and gain energy that way - so if that’s you, more power to you! Just be conscious that you don’t get taken advantage of or used for your gifts.

In the end, the most important thing is to tune into your body and how you feel. If you feel exhausted, resentful or irritated after a conversation with someone, it’s important to pause and ask yourself why. Check in with yourself. Then consider how to set boundaries and move forward in a way that’s more sustainable for you.

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Let’s talk about: Body Ascension Symptoms

So I had some insight over the past few days about body ascension symptoms, such as why we get them, what some common ones are, and what to do.

Common Body Ascension Symptoms

Dairy intolerance—for you body to integrate higher frequencies, sometimes it will become intolerant to the heaviness of dairy, you may adjust and it becomes fine

Sugar issues— blood sugar drops, feeling sensitive to sugar, feeling dizzy when having something with sugar

Seasickness or motion sickness—your soul is remembering how to control a human but from a higher state. It feels very different. You may be more sensitive to movement

Chronic exhaustion—this can happen because your body takes in so much energy that it’s almost like you are buzzing, you struggle to sleep or stay asleep

Twitching—this is also a sign of energy overload and it just means you didn’t properly prepare your body for the energy download, this is why what you ingest and how you workout can impact so much, a more fit body can more easily handle more energy

Falling or other motor function based injury—when your soul is rising in frequency, it can struggle a bit with controlling the body so you may notice you fall or seem to have some issues when you walk, getting a crick in your neck, basically the soul and body have to get back in tune and adjust

Horniness— yeah, it means that your sacral energy is getting a boost from just the sheer increase in energy flowing through you.

Random headaches— as you take energy in through the crown, your mind works double time to interpret the energy, it can cause a headache

Sensitive to sound— you may notice that you listen to things more quietly than you used to or crowded spaces seem to be louder to you

More vibrant colors— the sky may look more brightly blue, or the grass more deeply green, the world literally looks more beautiful

Improved fitness— you may naturally have more energy to workout or crave healthier food and implement better habits

Period issues— part of all the energy being managed through the root chakra, and part of healing collective feminine wounding around our reproductive organs

Food allergies and intolerances— you may develop other types of allergies or intolerances to things like meat, nuts, alcohol, etc. Celiacs disease or Chrohns disease as well.

**note: I am explaining a spiritual cause and this does not serve as medical advice, you should still seek medical assistance.**

Why do we have these issues?

Because sometimes for spiritual growth our body also has to go through upgrades. Most of us who are spiritual and sensitive have repressed so much of that in order to survive. We become used to suppression. When you move into thrival mode, you have to open yourself up and that means making yourself sensitive again. Being an HSP (highly sensitive person) means I’m not just energetically or emotionally sensitive, but I’m sensitive to scents, and foods, and sounds, etc. It opens you up across the board. In the past where I could repress nausea, now I can’t. Not well. Forced authenticity.

How to handle it

My advice is to listen. If you feel the need to switch something up, follow that prompting. That’s part of what prompted me to stop nicotine, to start taking medication, etc. This change, you don’t have to view it as permanent, you can tell yourself you’re just doing it for now, but it’s critical we listen to our bodies.

[disabled-dragoon]

Hey! I’ve sent a message before but my dr thinks I have spastic paraplegia. He wants to keep me out of a wheelchair as long as possible so I use a rollator right now but when I walk for more then like a couple minutes (if that) I get this horrible tightness in my hips that makes it really painful and uncomfortable to walk. I also get really bad muscle cramps in my calf and when I get one I usually get more in succession. Any recommendations for what to do? My dr is kinda useless when it comes to helping me 🥲 I’m in PT too but they kinda went “¯\_(ツ)_/ we don’t even know what spastic paraplegia is”

Well by that logic, shouldn't they find out? Honestly. I say the worst part of disability is the admin, but having to explain it to doctors every single time is up there too.

I have to preface that my recommendations will probably be a bit vaguer than you might be hoping for, simply because I obviously don't know the full extent of your pain, and every HSP or potential HSP diagnosis is different so forgive me for that.

Obviously I'm not a doctor so disclaimer here: Any advice I give is purely off personal experience. Bring it up with a trusted medical professional if it something that interests you.

-

So my first question is: Do you have any physio exercises? And more importantly, do you do them?

I completely understand the physiotherapist thing. I've had to explain HSP to all but two of my doctors, and even then one of them still needed coaching as to what the hell they were actually dealing with so I get it. I'm not going to give you the whole "if you exercise you won't be disabled anymore" spiel because we both know that not's true, but exercise really does help with slowing it down and making the pain more manageable.

If you want more/better exercise suggestions that are bit more specific to the areas outlined, I have some links that might be worth checking out:

Hip exercises: this is a link to the Spire Healthcare website that details an extensive list of exercises for hip stiffness and pain.

Sastic Paraplegia Foundation: Link to an official HSP charity, specifically to a page detailing good advice for physio exercises and areas to focus on.

Honestly the SPF is really really good for more information. It's got loads of resources on physiotherapy, the differences in the disability, a forum, information on research developments. Etc. etc. It's good to peruse if you're interested!

I am an HSP Warrior- My Exercise Journey: This is a youtube channel ran by a woman of the name of Alycia Klein. She is diagnosed with HSP and puts out semi-regular, short home exercise videos. Her last video, as of writing this, was actually fifty minutes ago!

Also may I suggest perhaps looking into exercise/resistance bands? I found they've worked wonders for strengthening my joints and help with pain, but, as always, consult with a trusted doctor beforehand to make sure this is the option for you. I personally use latex ones (see below) but there are several options to look through.

[ID: Pile of 5 latex exercise bands on a white background. The colours, from left to right, are black, red, blue, yellow and green. /end ID]

Next up: Extra Information!

I don't know how much you might personally know about HSP, or about how much I may have told you in the past, but! It never hurts to know more. And it may be of some help, if you feel comfortable to, sharing some some information with you PT.

I like this video:

It's relatively short, has pictures to accompany it and the subtitles aren't auto-generated! At the end it also gives a brief insight into some areas to focus exercise on to potentially extend your mobility and maybe the time you can stay out of a wheelchair.

And lastly, your doctor wants to avoid the wheelchair for now but what do you think?

No one knows your body better than you do and if this a genuine concern for you, it might not hurt to push the issue. Even just as something to consider in case of emergency.

Also, does your rollator have a seat? If not, personally I've found I sometimes prefer it to my wheelchair. It lets me walk until I get tired then I can sit and wait the pain out. Doesn't work all the time but when I want to exercise out of the chair it's quite good.

-

That's all I have at the moment. If you have any more specific questions please feel free to send them my way, I'd be more than happy to try and answer them.

I hope this has been of some help to you anon, and I wish you good luck!

[w-ht-w]

Personalities prone to anxiety

INFP and INFJ: The Overthinkers

We start off with INFPs and INFJs: two Introverted personalities that often experience bouts of anxiety. When it comes to these types, their anxiety can stem from an inclination to overthinking.

INFX personalities are naturally drawn to observe patterns and explore thoughts and ideas. ...  try a mindful practice like journaling or painting. Having a creative outlet can be a helpful tool to slow down your racing thoughts and better process your emotions. 

INTJ: The Perfectionist

The hardworking and diligent INTJ is a levelheaded individual who is capable of producing stellar work. However, as an INTJ, you may also have a negative perfectionist tendency. Whilst saying you’re a perfectionist may sound good in a job interview, it comes with its perils.

In fact, researchers have linked toxic perfectionism with heart disease. Another study found that 70% of young people who died by suicide had extremely high standards for themselves. Multiple studies also show a correlation between anxiety disorders and perfectionism.

By adjusting expectations and coming to terms with the fact that life is messy and imperfect, INTJs can curb their negative perfectionism and start giving more credit to themselves and others.   

ENFJ and ESFJ: The People Pleasers

EXFJs can care a lot about what others think of them. This consideration for others may cause them to have ruminating thoughts about their social interactions. ...to appease the people they love, EXFJs may find themselves agreeing to something they don’t really wish to do, or that they have no time for. ... remember that, as much as you love to help, sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to take care of yourself first.

ISFJ and ISTJ: The Traditionalists

For the traditionally inclined ISFJ and ISTJ types, sudden changes can be a cause of great worry and anxiety. Like their Extraverted counterparts, ISFJs show love by being present for others. However, they can take this to an extreme and end up neglecting their own emotional needs in the process.

When it comes to ISTJs, anxiety can surface when they feel a lack of structure. If plans fall through, or they have to move in a different and unexpected direction, ISTJs can become overwhelmed and blame themselves for not predicting how things would play out.

My advice for anxious ISXJs? Learn to set time aside for yourself. In addition, recognize your accomplishments, even when things don’t go as smoothly as planned. (1)

The introverted (I) intuitive (N) types (“INs”)—INFJ, INFP, INTJ and INTP—are among the most “sensitive” of the personality types. This is especially true of those who are more turbulent than assertive. I suspect that most INFJs and INFPs would qualify as “highly sensitive persons” (HSPs),

1. https://www.truity.com/blog/what-personality-types-are-prone-anxiety

2. https://personalityjunkie.com/06/infj-infp-intj-intp-anxiety-sensitivity-change/

[crashmenagerie]

I’d like to issue a warning to hsps who read The Highly Sensitive Person, which champions HSPs as, specifically, advisors and sages. From personal mistakes and experience: never, ever think of yourself as an advisor. Offering advice when you should be supporting other people’s autonomy to make their own decisions is the fastest way to ensure you will remain entirely without friends. They may seem grateful in the moment, but if they use your advice and succeed, that success is to your credit. If they fail, they suffer the consequences, not you. Don’t do this to anyone.

I know I’m offering advice here, which is contradictory, but seriously learn from my mistakes.

[rediscoverhearing]

Hearing Tests - How to Get a Free Hearing Test

Getting a hearing test is a crucial step to help detect and address hearing loss. Studies have shown that addressing hearing loss early reduces the risk of mental health issues, social isolation and even Alzheimer’s Disease. So, whether you notice signs of declining hearing or are concerned about the hearing of a loved one, it’s important to seek out a free hearing tests Perth.

There are a few different types of hearing tests available, and it’s important to find an audiologist who is qualified to perform your test. Audiologists are highly-trained professionals who specialise in the diagnosis and treatment of hearing loss. They can diagnose and treat hearing problems, as well as offer advice about lifestyle changes and devices that may help improve your quality of life.

You can also take an online hearing test that will give you a preliminary result, and recommend next steps. You’ll need a computer or tablet, headphones and a quiet environment to take an online hearing test. The audiologist will play a series of sounds through your headphones to assess your hearing and give you the results. These results aren’t as accurate as an in-person assessment, but they can give you a good idea of how your hearing is.

A full, diagnostic hearing assessment is a more detailed test that takes into account the individual characteristics of your hearing and the type of hearing loss you have. It’s usually done by an audiologist, and you might need to bring a referral from your doctor. This kind of hearing assessment is typically fully-funded through the government Hearing Services Program for eligible pensioners exploring hearing aids, or paid for privately if you don’t have concessions.

The audiologist will use the results of your test to determine the cause of your hearing loss and suggest appropriate treatments. This can include hearing aids, lifestyle recommendations, or other options such as aural rehabilitation and other assistive technology. The audiologist can also discuss the pros and cons of each option so that you’re aware of your options and can make an informed decision about your future.

A free hearing screening is a quick 15 minute appointment (we’re happy to go overtime) that is designed as an information gathering session for you to work out if your hearing is declining and what funding options might be available should intervention be required. This kind of assessment can be accessed via the HSP or self-funded through Value hearing and is offered at most clinics nationwide. To learn more about your eligibility and how to book an appointment, visit the HSP website or contact us directly.

Rediscover Hearing the Joy of Hearing with Your local & WA owned Independent Audiologists. Your local Hearing Aid and Tinnitus Specialists. Combined experience of 38 years.

We are passionate about helping people in their journey to Rediscover Hearing and be the trusted professional choice in hearing care.

[amethystsoda]

Hiya Ari! I know this is so random but I have a certain new years revolution that I’d like to ask for some advice on. I have an 8 year old sister with ADHD, and I guess i'd just like to hear from someone who lives with it what I can do to help her as an older sibling? I'd really like to create a safe space for her where she can be heard and understood :)💚

Ruby! I'm so sorry I didn't get this one out yet. I've been really sick and not able to do any writing for a little.

I think one of the first things is understanding that everyone's version of ADHD might be a little different (I really like this comic from adhd-alien for showing how different types have overlap)

tbh I really like a lot of the comics from adhd-alien, so I'll link a few more if you want to read and you can always go into her archive for more:

adhd and emotions

2 sides of adhd

anxiety and adhd

tips for studying with someone who has adhd

I have crossover with autistic traits like having intense special interests, so I don't know if she also has that as well... But one good thing is making space if she wants to talk about special interests--and know she'd probably love to hear about what you're interested in too!

For some of the more inattentive or forgetful behaviors, it's nice for them to have a little notebook they can scribble in so they can make lists and look back at them. (for me it always helps me feel like I'm forgetting less stuff and helps me feel less frustrated with myself).

Sometimes fidget toys can help people with adhd stay in the moment if they're getting too bored. Stimming can help self soothe, but can also stimulate your brain. (here's an example of some behaviors that are part of the hyperactive behaviors that also are stim behaviors)

A lot of the time adhd kids are inattentive because they're not getting any mental stimulation and are so immensely bored they just zone out (I know from personal experience in school and later on like with driving--I'll almost fall asleep on the road for long car trips, simply because it's boring with the endless stretch of road).

Another big part of adhd is RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and being an HSP (Hyper Sensitive Person). People with ADHD can often be more emotionally sensitive--knowing that can help others understand when they have strong emotions!

The hypersensitive part also pops up as physically sensitive (can't stand fabric textures, some food textures bad, etc. All senses are more intense--which can lead to getting overstimulated and the need to decompress and have absolutely no stimulation, and some kids + adults may be nonverbal for a time)

Another key to being understanding is remembering that your little sister is still young--many kids with ADHD learn how to manage better as they get older and understand themselves more!

I think just learning more about what ADHD looks like, giving your sister time and not being too demanding if stuff gets done at a slower pace, and understanding about sensory stuff can go a long way!

Good luck this year with your resolution!

[infpisme]

[study-psych]

How I Live in a College Dorm as a Highly Sensitive Person

1. I have favorable fabrics 

I use pastel cotton skeets that are soft and a pleasing color 

I have 3 blankets (a fleece one, a dark faux fur one, and my reversible comforter) 

I keep the dark faux fur blanket under the covers because I like the feeling of that blanket the most but don't prefer the color, so this way it is a win-win situation 

The chair in my dorm is wooden and hard so I have a small, white, faux fur shag on it to make the chair more comfortable 

Not really a fabric, but I also have a comfortable mattress topper so my bed is comfy and soft

2.  I block out disrupting sounds 

The floor I live on is very loud and the community tv is almost always on, so I always have headphones in  

god bless noise cancelling headphones 

If the noise gets too loud on my floor I go to a quieter floor

3. I use a wax melt to keep my room smelling nice 

I use an electric one because I am not allowed to have candles 

4. I always have snacks and drinks in my dorm 

5. I keep candles to make sure the lighting in my dorm doesn’t over stimulate me 

I don’t like the room super bright so I use battery operated candles if I feel like the dorm is 

I use battery operated candles since I am not allowed to use regular candles 

[sugirandom]

This is more for my own personal reference but also to share

Sometime late last year I read that someone started a challenge where they were going to read a book every month in 2024 and I have tons of books that I haven't read as well as the tendency to just buy more...especially since we tend to find books at Goodwill (a second-hand store or I guess like a pawn shop?)

So I decided to do it, I mostly read non-fiction and informational more than fiction but here's what I've read so far... I plan to reblog it when I read more as the year progresses. I will give my thoughts in brief!

January: The Handbook for Highly Sensitive People: Very helpful and empowering because I don't really have a sense of community as an HSP so it was good for my soul to read this.

February: Idiot's Guide to Ayuverda: Nice comprehensive introduction and guide though I don't think it's quite the right approach for my lifestyle. Also didn't like that the author assumed all he readers were female/ had almost no advice for men following this lifestyle.

March: Living with Tinnitus and Hyperacusis: Good book overall with some helpful advice but like most books about these topics Hyperacusis is a little more lacking in info and there's a lot of assumptions that it is caused by the Tinnitus though for me...I had Hyperacusis waaaay before I ever had Tinnitus (sadly developed it later in life due to antibiotics) and if given the choice to only get rid of one i'd chose to get rid of Hyperacusis but alas...most people don't have Hyperacusis or if they do it's not permanent so not enough research is there...whereas tons of people get Titnnitus...the struggle is real.

April: The big brain book: Development, Function, DIsorder, and Health: Find the brain a very fascinating thing so I enjoyed this book very much even though it felt like a textbook, i wasn't upset at all. Also great pictures.

May: Sleep right in five nights: Old book from my Poppy, mostly relied on Cognitive Behavior Therapy which I have yet to use effectly so... we'll see.

June: Mythology by Alexandria Hamilton: Nice to read overall but honestly should be titled Greek and Roman Mythology because she mostly talks about that with only two very short chapters about Norse Mythology which caused me to mourn cause I know the least about it of those three. Also i still remember your very subtle attack on Egyptian mythology, will never forgive. Everyone writes about Greek and Roman mythology so I'd say you don't have to get this one...I literally wrote the author's name on only this one because I am bitter...I mean I don't regret reading it but...still bitter.